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Gripe thread......MAJOR

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions: Free Expression...: Gripe thread......MAJOR users admin

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Archive through September 04, 2012Costacat25 09-04-12  9:20 am
Archive through September 10, 2012Sunshyne4u25 09-10-12  2:02 pm
Archive through December 19, 2012Seamonkey25 12-19-12  10:34 pm
Archive through December 28, 2012Seamonkey25 12-28-12  7:18 pm
Archive through January 31, 2013Escapee25 01-31-13  3:59 pm
Archive through April 05, 2014Seamonkey25 04-05-14  8:39 pm
Archive through July 04, 2014Heckagirl63125 07-04-14  10:29 am
Archive through January 04, 2015Pamy25 01-04-15  1:35 pm
Archive through January 10, 2015Colordeagua25 01-10-15  10:02 pm
Archive through January 29, 2015Goddessatlaw25 01-29-15  2:58 pm
Archive through February 26, 2015Karuuna25 02-26-15  8:50 pm
Archive through April 17, 2015Texasdeb25 04-17-15  7:39 pm
Archive through August 13, 2015Rupertbear225 08-13-15  9:19 am
Archive through August 31, 2015Seamonkey25 08-31-15  7:10 pm
Archive through December 11, 2015Kookliebird25 12-11-15  9:52 am
Archive through January 08, 2016Karuuna25 01-08-16  12:45 pm
Archive through January 12, 2016Karuuna25 01-12-16  12:10 pm
Archive through October 20, 2016Karuuna25 10-20-16  8:24 am
Archive through January 17, 2017Mack25 01-17-17  10:15 am
Archive through February 08, 2017Karuuna25 02-08-17  10:10 am
Archive through June 21, 2017Mack25 06-21-17  6:51 am
Archive through August 13, 2017Landileigh25 08-13-17  3:41 pm
Archive through January 17, 2018Kookliebird25 01-17-18  12:40 pm
Archive through July 27, 2018Juju2bigdog25 07-27-18  10:17 pm
Archive through November 16, 2019Seamonkey25 11-16-19  3:46 pm
Archive through December 10, 2019Rosie25 12-10-19  3:57 pm
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Author Message
Jimmer
Board Administrator

08-29-2000

Tuesday, December 10, 2019 - 4:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
That is so frustrating. You'd think there would be a better way to authenticate yourself.

Scooterrific
Member

07-07-2005

Tuesday, December 10, 2019 - 4:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
Jimmer are you ignoring me?

Jimmer
Board Administrator

08-29-2000

Tuesday, December 10, 2019 - 4:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Oops! I think I may be. File it and forget it seems to be what happens to me.

But now you are at the forefront of my mind.

Scooterrific
Member

07-07-2005

Tuesday, December 10, 2019 - 5:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    


Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Wednesday, December 11, 2019 - 8:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Yea Scooter! You are at the forefront!

Scooterrific
Member

07-07-2005

Wednesday, December 11, 2019 - 9:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    


Heckagirl631
Member

09-08-2010

Sunday, June 21, 2020 - 3:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Heckagirl631 a private message Print Post    
I'm about ready to say I give up. My husband with Alzheimers/dementia is barely eating. Anything I give him, he'll take two bites and then say I can't eat that. Even foods that were his favorites before. And it's always a fight, like he thinks I'm being mean to him, trying to get him to eat. All he wants to do is drink Cokes. I have been getting him to drink a couple of Ensures a day by telling him it's chocolate milk. I'm at the end of my rope.

Jimmer
Board Administrator

08-29-2000

Sunday, June 21, 2020 - 4:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I’m so sorry. It’s wonderful that he has someone like you who cares about him. You can only do as much as you can and you’re doing your best.

Texannie
Member

07-15-2001

Sunday, June 21, 2020 - 5:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
I am so sorry, Hecka. I have been through this with my dad and mother in law. My husband is being tested now. After seeing all the fighting, pushing and coaxing, I guess a part of me says let him have his coke. Nothing is really going to change. Sorry, that’s not a very optimistic, sunny view.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Sunday, June 21, 2020 - 6:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
(((((HECKA))))) Are there any organizations in your area that offer respite and help to family caregivers such as yourself? Check with AARP perhaps, and your local hospital 's social services department.

Pamy
Member

01-01-2002

Sunday, June 21, 2020 - 7:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
(((Hecka)))

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Sunday, June 21, 2020 - 7:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
(((Hecka)))

Tntitanfan
Member

08-02-2001

Monday, June 22, 2020 - 5:45 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tntitanfan a private message Print Post    
I have been through this with both my BFF's parents and her younger sister. It is dreadfully frustrating experience, and please take all the help your can get from friends, family, and community resources.

On the home front, Premier Protein (brand name) drinks have 30 grams of protein each. Will he tolerate ice cream floats made with Coke? Extra calories and carbs there! Try two-bite portions of baby food fruits, ice cream, and puddings all of which can be kept handy in the fridge/freezer for good moments.

Do what you can and don't beat yourself up about what you can't! This is NOT fixable. Nothing you do will bring about a happy ending. I wish things were different, of course!

Heckagirl631
Member

09-08-2010

Monday, June 22, 2020 - 10:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Heckagirl631 a private message Print Post    
Just got a letter saying he's got an appointment with a neurologist in August. Don't know if either of us can last that long.

Jimmer
Board Administrator

08-29-2000

Monday, June 22, 2020 - 12:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
That seems like a long way away but at least you have something to work toward. The Ensures (or anything else that is somewhat nutritional, tasty and easy) are a good idea.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Monday, June 22, 2020 - 1:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Boost is good, per a longtime patient I drove and he found other drinks with less sugar and more protein.

He found that Target had good variety and prices.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Monday, June 22, 2020 - 1:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
https://alz.org/help-support/caregiving

This is the national organization.. They should be of some help. I posted the link for caregivers.

Here in Orange County we are blessed to have the national organization, but also an Orange County organization, which spun off a decade ago to keep donations within our county.

Also see if you have a Council on Aging in your area.

...

In California, Gov. Newsom's proposed budget cuts due to COVID will eliminate two programs that work very well and propose a structure that, per every Dementia/Alzheimer's organization, will be an untested disaster for patients and caregivers.

And that was before changes proposed for BLM.

But if they have a way for you to interact with other caregivers, that could help.

Renember, you cannot win every battle, so do what you can. 💛

Naja
Member

06-28-2003

Monday, June 22, 2020 - 5:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Naja a private message Print Post    
{{{Hecka}}} I am so sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I hope you are able to find some help.

Heckagirl631
Member

09-08-2010

Tuesday, June 23, 2020 - 10:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Heckagirl631 a private message Print Post    
After waking me up at 6 a.m. on my day off saying he's starving, he didn't even take a bite of his cereal. Sigh.

Y2krazy
Member

09-17-2002

Tuesday, June 23, 2020 - 3:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Y2krazy a private message Print Post    
Big hugs, Heckagirl631. It is so difficult to deal with these things day after day. I believe God will have a very special place for you eventually.

Jimmer
Board Administrator

08-29-2000

Tuesday, June 23, 2020 - 4:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
That’s so hard. I wish I had something more helpful to say but I do care.

Sugar
Member

08-15-2000

Wednesday, June 24, 2020 - 1:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sugar a private message Print Post    
I am sorry you are having such a tough time Heckagirl631.

Kappy
Member

06-28-2002

Sunday, June 28, 2020 - 10:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kappy a private message Print Post    
Heckagirl - I agree with Tntitanfan in that you need to know that it is not fixable and accept that you cannot reason with someone who has dementia. All you can do is assist them and make sure they are safe. It's a very cruel joke of nature to do this to people at the end of their lives. My heart goes out to you.

Colordeagua
Member

10-24-2003

Monday, June 29, 2020 - 10:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Colordeagua a private message Print Post    
Not MAJOR gripe. Something less than that. I'm in a 2nd floor condo. Delivery this morning of an app. 18 lb box from Chewy. Box is left in the outside front lobby where it should be. I've got to get in another door with a key. I've got the box in my arms and am STRUGGLING to get key in lock, open the door, get my foot in, then get in the door. John is sitting in the lobby. I'm guessing he's 70 - 75 like me. We don't talk generally, but.... All he had to do was get up, walk 6', and open / hold door for me. NO. I finally got in. I said, "Thanks, John."

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Monday, June 29, 2020 - 1:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
That would have ticked me off too. Not much of a gentleman, eh?

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Monday, June 29, 2020 - 7:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Maybe he is hiding bad arthritis in his knees, and it would have taken him longer to get up and get the door than it took you to enter. Old age is no walk in the park.

Sugar
Member

08-15-2000

Monday, June 29, 2020 - 9:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sugar a private message Print Post    
Did you ask if might help you?

Colordeagua
Member

10-24-2003

Monday, June 29, 2020 - 10:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Colordeagua a private message Print Post    
I was REALLY STRUGGLING with the box. He didn't say a word.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Tuesday, June 30, 2020 - 2:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Or he was social distancing?

I would have opened the door for you!

Jeep
Member

10-17-2001

Tuesday, June 30, 2020 - 6:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jeep a private message Print Post    
His age/physical ability may have been a factor, but I've experienced this many times. Back when I was taking care of my mother, I often struggled with doors while pushing her wheel chair. People were seldom helpful. One restaurant was the exception, a local Shoney's. The employees saw us coming and opened two sets of doors for us even before we got there. That's service!

Colordeagua
Member

10-24-2003

Monday, July 06, 2020 - 10:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Colordeagua a private message Print Post    
John may or may not have a reason for not getting up to help me in the door? Have a feeling I'll have a better idea in a few days.

I have lived in this condo for 35 years on July 2. For the first time I'm having a problem with a resident couple. They bought and moved in early last year. They're both a problem. At the moment my blood is boiling. Yes, I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. I am getting better at it. This time I didn't. After 35 years . . . .

Colordeagua
Member

10-24-2003

Monday, July 06, 2020 - 11:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Colordeagua a private message Print Post    
I'm still trying to relax. In the past year my 9 YY dog has finally learned to ask and pee outside. No inside peeing in a year, not even any dribbling on the wrong side of the door. When he gets outside, has to walk a little ways to the pee place. So this last time he started dribbling on the sidewalk before the place. I don't want him to get into the habit of dribbling at any point before the place. Maybe he'd start on the inside of the door again? So when he dribbled I said a loud NO and gave him a simple wop on the behind and continued on. The wife was sitting on her patio. I heard a comment. I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn't. It got loud. "Mind your own business", etc., etc., etc. TG I didn't say the B word or any other name. I thought it.

The husband is now president of Condo Board. Dogs are not allowed in the lobby. OK. I use to more often (virtually never now) forget my key to get in the backdoor. Have to take the dog around to front door and get let in by someone in the lobby or buzz someone to let me in. Dash 6' - 9' across lobby to hallway. Happened one time when husband (prez) was in the lobby. "NO dogs in the lobby." "I forgot my key." "NO dogs in the lobby." I later talked to Condo Board treasurer who had been board prez for years. He said you're obeying the spirit of the rule. When you forget your key it's OK.

The wife wanted to get on the Board along with the husband. By law she cannot. No two who own one unit together can be on the Board at the same time. TG.

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Saturday, July 18, 2020 - 7:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Colordeagua, could you take a bottle of water with you.

If he dribbles too soon, say "no", and pour a little water on the pee. Nobody likes to see pea on the sidewalk. Now you have washed it off.

The water may startle him enough that he will wait to get to his spot the next time.

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