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  | ARCHIVES | Uncle_ricky | 6075 | 244 | 12-27-20 7:53 am |
 | Archive through February 13, 2021 | Uncle_ricky | 25 | 1 | 02-13-21 11:20 am |
| Archive through March 28, 2021 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 03-28-21 4:56 am |
| Archive through May 22, 2021 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 05-21-21 10:09 pm |
| Archive through June 15, 2021 | Mamie316 | 25 | 1 | 06-15-21 2:09 pm |
| Archive through July 29, 2021 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 07-29-21 1:04 pm |
| Archive through September 18, 2021 | Jimmer | 25 | 1 | 09-18-21 4:43 am |
| Archive through November 05, 2021 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 11-04-21 8:57 pm |
| Archive through December 28, 2021 | Uncle_ricky | 25 | 1 | 12-28-21 3:57 pm |
| Archive through January 30, 2022 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 01-30-22 4:48 am |
| Archive through April 23, 2022 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 04-23-22 8:28 am |
| Archive through July 05, 2022 | Jimmer | 25 | 1 | 07-05-22 5:22 am |
| Archive through August 20, 2022 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 08-20-22 6:46 am |
| Archive through November 08, 2022 | Sugar | 25 | 1 | 11-08-22 5:24 am |
| Archive through December 09, 2022 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 12-09-22 8:51 am |
| Archive through February 25, 2023 | Jimmer | 25 | 1 | 02-25-23 4:48 am |
| Archive through April 28, 2023 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 04-28-23 2:07 pm |
| Archive through July 10, 2023 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 07-10-23 8:59 am |
| Archive through September 07, 2023 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 09-07-23 11:39 am |
| Archive through December 03, 2023 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 12-03-23 11:10 am |
| Archive through January 02, 2024 | Jimmer | 25 | 1 | 01-02-24 1:57 am |
| Archive through January 28, 2024 | Teachmichigan | 25 | 1 | 01-28-24 10:03 am |
| Archive through April 04, 2024 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 04-04-24 9:14 am |
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| Archive through November 13, 2024 | Mak1 | 25 | 1 | 11-13-24 12:18 pm |
| Archive through January 25, 2025 | Heckagirl631 | 25 | 1 | 01-25-25 5:34 pm |
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Heckagirl631
Member
09-08-2010
| Saturday, January 25, 2025 - 5:40 pm 
Sorry, that should be Laura Pearson.
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Uncle_ricky
Member
07-02-2007
| Wednesday, February 19, 2025 - 4:22 pm
Happy Belated New Year to one and all. Alas, it has not been a happy one for me and my in-laws. My 92-year-old mother-in-law and my 56-year-old sister-in-law are now living full-time with me and my husband Seth. Their lovely home in Pacific Palisades burned to the ground during last month's horrific Southern California fires. They had nowhere to go except to our (little doll's) house in the less-than-elegant burg of Van Nuys. They fled the fire with just the clothes on their backs -- everything else was wiped out. We now have to build them an apartment (behind our house) so that they'll have their own space. We're hoping that'll get done by the end of the year. In the meantime, we are having to adjust our quiet lives to incorporate m-i-l and s-i-l into our daily routine. It's going to be a long haul, but we'll get through it. Thank goodness for books and Taylor Swift!
Recent reads:
Same As It Ever Was by Claire Lombardo. A marvelous follow-up to her debut (The Most Fun We Ever Had). She likes the word 'ever'!
The Future Was Color by Patrick Nathan. A stinker - avoid!
Taylor Swift by various contributors. It was on display at the library, so I couldn't resist. Mostly a grab bag of profiles about her career.
Lock Every Door by Riley Sager. Very entertaining, though a tad far-fetched.
The Waiting by Michael Connelly. The unsinkable Mr. Connelly gifts us once again with a fast-paced thriller featuring his classic Harry Bosch and Renee Ballard characters.
Loud: Accept Nothing Less Than the Life You Deserve by Drew Afualo. I read this because Ms. Afualo was a guest on Kylie Kelce's podcast and I liked her immediately and sought out her book after she mentioned it during the interview. The book illustrates how very strong a young woman she is. She's self-made and a powerful influencer in the world of social media influencers. She really knows how to hold her own against men who like to denigrate women.
1984 by George Orwell. It's about time I read it. Scary stuff, even after all these years after its original publication in 1949.
Survive The Night by Riley Sager. Not one of Sager's best, but it wasn't awful and it held my interest.
Night Road by Kristin Hannah. My first time reading Ms. Hannah and I loved it. I know she's written a ton, so I'm anxious to read as many of her books as I can.
48 Clues into the Disappearance of My Sister by Joyce Carol Oates. Her writing style is, as per usual, terrific. But the pace of the story was so dismal and right when you've finally reached the ending (where you expect all to be revealed), it's an ending that's beyond ambiguous -- ultimately, this one was a time-waster. 
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Wednesday, February 19, 2025 - 5:16 pm
Always enjoy seeing what you've been reading!
So sorry that happened to your in-laws. That's awful. It's fortunate that they have you and Seth to help but it's a big adjustment for everyone.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Thursday, February 20, 2025 - 10:00 am
OH Ric, I am so sorry to hear about your in-laws' home. Thank goodness they have you and Seth to lovingly be there for them.
Riley Sager can be very far-fetched but I do love his books. Looking forward to the next one.
Kristin Hannah's later books are a lot better than her older ones and I did love those too.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-26-2000
| Thursday, February 20, 2025 - 8:49 pm
((((Uncle_Ricky)))) This too will pass. I guess y'all are lucky that you are allowed to build a second residence on your property.
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Uncle_ricky
Member
07-02-2007
| Thursday, February 20, 2025 - 11:35 pm
Thank you so much for the kind words of concern and condolence. Not to equate it with human death, but the death of a house and all the memories attached to it makes for a great deal of grieving. Madeline (m-i-l) and Alicia (s-i-l) are doing really well under these very tough circumstances, so we're very grateful for that.
Juju, we are fortunate that Seth's younger brother (Luke) has a dear friend (Rob) who runs a construction business that specializes in ADU (Accessory Dwelling Unit) structures. Within days of the January 7th fire, Rob sprang into action to apply for all the necessary permits with the city. They're expected to be approved within the next few weeks and he estimates construction might begin as early as April. The bigger challenge, of course, is coming up with the $350,000 to build the ADU. Between our savings, Madeline's savings and Alicia's savings, we should be able to scrape it all together without having to apply for a loan.
The biggest worry for me -- even if everything goes smoothly -- is the worry I have about something happening to Seth, so I really hope I croak before he does (I'll be 67 next week and he'll be 64 in July). My salary supports the both of us and he takes care of EVERYTHING, including me, our house, and now the ADU project for Madeline and Alicia. We're both in decent health, but I tend to be a worst-case-scenario type of person and I am consumed with anxiety about Seth pre-deceasing me. I simply could not handle losing him and then having to take care of Madeline and Alicia. (Alicia is developmentally disabled and has lived her entire life at home. She has the mental capacity of a 4th grader and cannot live on her own, though she's earned a modest salary for over 30 years working at a child care center in Malibu as an assistant to the facility's caretaking team.) And Seth's three brothers have their own wives and children to take care of, so they can offer only minimal help to our situation from the sidelines. I'm terrified of losing Seth because of how lost I'd be trying to carry on as primary care giver to Madeline and Alicia. To go from seeing them a few times a year at family events to daily living with them in our household is do-able as long as Seth is around. At least if I go before Seth does, he can rally his brothers to help him. I just have to try to calm down. I'm doing a good job of keeping all of this anxiety under my bonnet by taking it one at a time. But it's hard.
Oh, and today is the 36th anniversary of my own mother's death. (She is the only blood relative I have ever known.) If the breast cancer hadn't taken her, she would've turned 94 last month. I guess I can be thankful I don't have to take care of her the way Seth and I have to take care of Madeline and Alicia.
Sorry for all the venting -- I feel better just by sharing what I've written above. Please keep your fingers crossed for us that we get through all of this with our health (mental and physical) intact!
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 9:14 am
Please share away! I was my mom's caretaker for 4 years as she suffered from Lewy Body Dementia and if I couldn't vent, I would have gone crazy. You are a good soul, Ric. If you need to vent, I am always available.
Reading helps a lot.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 9:40 am
That’s a very tough situation. As Mamie said, feel free to talk about it anytime. I’m glad it’s making you feel better.
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Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 10:58 am
Ric, have you looked into those prefab homes? They're already made and they just truck them in in parts. People are putting them up where I live, and you'd never notice the difference between them and the regular built houses. And it would be a lot faster. If you could do it, it would probably save your sanity.
Sorry you're going through this.
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Heckagirl631
Member
09-08-2010
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 11:00 am
So sorry to hear about your woes, Uncle Ricky. I have a gay brother named Ricky, so always sort of feel like I know you. I know it's not possible. I am currently taking a break from Ken Follett,s "A Column of Fire". I started reading a book that my niece found. It's actually loosely based on a local legend, The Dead Children's Playground. The book is by James Kaine. I have never been to it in my almost 62 years of living in Huntsville,but my niece and her fiance go every so often. Local legend is that it's haunted, but they've never seen anything there. The book is interesting but starting to remind me of Stephen King's writing. When I'm done I will go back to Ken's books.
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Uncle_ricky
Member
07-02-2007
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 12:48 pm
Thank you Mamie dear - you are kindness itself! Don't be surprised if I ask you for tips on how to be an effective caregiver - your mom was so lucky to have you there to comfort her.
Thank you, Jimmer - you're a gentleman and a scholar!
Thank you, Grooch - the person who is building the ADU has the design all ready to go, so his crew just comes in and custom-builds it. We did consider the pre-fab option, but Seth's mom preferred the unit that we'll be going with. Plus, she has most the of the money that'll be going into paying for it.
Heckagirl! Thank you, as well. And please give my regards to your dear brother and tell him "Hi" from one Ricky to another!
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Teachmichigan
Member
07-21-2001
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 7:11 pm
I am so relieved to hear from you Ricky! Glad you and Seth are safe, as well as MIL and SIL. What a stressful time! Sending huge hugs to all of you!
Catching up since my last update:
Kindle
Yield Under Great Persuasion (Alexandra Rowland) - a grumpy/sunshine fantasy book through Queer Liberation Library. LOVED it - so much fun!
The Sweet Spot (Amy Poeppel) - chaos with complex characters and well-choreographed interactions between the multiple story lines. LOVED IT!
Bookish People (Susan J Coll) - also loved this one with a collection of eclectic book store workers all dealing with the sh*t parts of life.
The American Roommate Experiment (Elena Armas) - I always enjoy romcoms that include a main character who cooks. Add in that he was from Spain, and I was all in.
Her Good Side (Rebekah Weatherspoon) - this was a sweet YA romance with a friends to boy/girlfriend trope. Rebekah always does a great job of using diverse characters so young people see themselves in her characters.
I have 2 ebooks checked out currently. The first is Margo's Got Money Problems (Rufi Thorpe). It comes highly recommended, but I'm 3 chapters in and not feeling it yet. I also have Michigan v The Boys (Carrie S Allen) checked out from Hoopla. I've not started it, but if Margo doesn't pick up over the next day or so, I'll dive in.
Audiobook
I gave up on Redemption Falls.
She's Leaving Home (William Shaw) - a murder mystery set in England that combines a seasoned cop w/a younger woman cop who is trying to hold her own. Fun combo but dang - even though the setting was 1968 - the racial slurs were hard going. I'm interested in the cop pair, but not sure I'd read another one if it is set in the same period.
Those Who Wait (Haley Cass) - One woman whose BFF creates her dating profile on Sapphic Sisters app and a rising young politician, known for only doing one night stands, who agrees to "mentor" the first woman as she enters the realm of online dating. I enjoyed both characters and their complicated "friendship" as the politician is in the middle of running for her first elected position.
Vanishing Monuments (John Elizabeth Stintzi) - this was a well-balanced, achingly difficult look at dealing with an aging parent who was less than supportive to a young non-binary person who left home at the age of 16. Both parent and child are photographers, and the homestead is referred to "the Memory Palace" as the narrator cleans the house whilst remember their childhood and early adulthood.
My current read is SO GOOD! If you liked Project Hail Mary, you HAVE to listen to Christopher Paolini's To Sleep in a Sea of Stars. I had not thought of the author since my son left home, but we were huge Eragon fans when it first came out. Sea of Stars is TOTALLY different but still sci-fi. The story is set in space with multiple types of beings and a quest that requires coordination between them. It's a long listen (32 hours) and I am loving it.
Deadtree
Finished All Fours (Miranda July) and while I will say I overall enjoyed it, after a while it felt like the unusual issues of the main character were taken just that one little step too far. Parts of it made me laugh, parts of it made me roll my eyes, and other parts were just meh.
The Last Crossing (Brian McGilloway) - this was my first experience with this Irish author, and I will definitely be reading more. He went back and forth between 2 times periods with 4 main characters - one of whom was killed by the other 3 during The Troubles. It's 30 years later, and they're about to ID where the body is buried as a gesture of goodwill as peace talks progress. The crossing refers to the ferry crossing between Ireland and Scotland as all 4 are from Ireland but end up in Scotland. I particularly liked that many of the chapters used similar wording at the end of the chapter and then at the beginning of the next ... especially as the chapters alternated time periods between the past and the present.
I'm just starting Just Some Stupid Love Story (Katelyn Doyle) but I suspect this will be my last "deadtree" book until I get the weird cataract in my right eye fixed. I can't get in until the end of April, and it's really messing up my ability to read print. (It's gonna' make playing the piano for Guys and Dolls over the next couple months extremely interesting, too! LOL)
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Sugar
Member
08-14-2000
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 8:03 pm
Uncle_ricky, I'm glad you, your husband and in-laws are safe.
I'm sorry you are so worried and stressed. I wish you all the very best and have said a prayer for all of you.
Laugh when you can and scream if you need to.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-26-2000
| Friday, February 21, 2025 - 11:26 pm
Welcome to married life, Uncle Ricky, and I am glad you are living in a time when you got to experience it. You now have all of this big messy family, but YOU don't actually have to handle it ALL for them. Surprise, surprise, even though you think you should. Things have a way of working out, and I suspect that even if Seth should happen to pre-decease you, you will by then be such an ingrained member of the family, that THEY will end up taking care of YOU and happy to do it. Breathe, dear fellow, and take some time to just live in the moment. You have been given a gift of great love late in life, and the love radiates outward. Live it while it's there. It's not all up to you to solve, even though Type A people like us always think it is.
 
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