| Author |
Message |
Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 5:01 pm 
I understand the difference between respectful and ignorant. I was confused and thought you agreed with both when you said I agree. I should have realized that you wouldn't do that and I'm glad that was clarified.
Sad and hurt (when an emoji is being used) is a bit more challenging. I also don't understand why it matters so much.
hurt feelings
plural noun
: unhappiness or sadness caused by someone's words or actions
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hurt%20feelings
I don't see where anyone stated what they thought was said that was inappropriate and comparable to all those awful things but that's fine. It's your option to provide evidence for your statements or not.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 5:07 pm
Oh I see it now. I agree that he shouldn't have messed with her name. That was inappropriate. I get tired of people messing with my name but I understand when they aren't being malicious. The rest was just silly.
The other joke was to demonstrate how trivial Hollywood stuff is compared to her accomplishments.
The bear was stupid and harmless.
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Sincebb1
Member
08-22-2005
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 5:49 pm
I am assuming...that maybe the reason she seemed (many statements have been made) "uncomfortable"...might be because she was not warned and because she is shy? Maybe she felt awkward just being the center of attention but secretly was enjoying being part of the show?
A friend of mine who is Indian, knew people that were at an Oscar party in India, rooting for Malala. She said that most of the older and some of the younger viewers were not happy with what they perceived as disrespect from Kimmel. Some of the younger kids thought it was funny.
Goes to show that humor, and what we think is funny, is dependent on age, culture, religion, education, our upbringing and even, where we reside in the world. So many things!
Malala's dad said, he didn't think Kimmel was trying to be disrespectful, but more that the joke fell flat. It wasn't a good one. But he delighted in the fact that his daughter handled herself with grace and with dry wit....which he says she gets from her mother. He said Malala 'outwitted' Kimmel and is 'quick witted and clever like her mother'
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 6:02 pm
Oh, Jimmer.. never mind. You said we should move on and now you just want to beat a dead horse?
I was shorthanding my latest response, because I didn't want to go into detail, not to try and get into another debate! And in an attempt to be somewhat humorous... but you apparently didn't find it funny. Funny how that works.  .
Understanding other people ALWAYS matters. I think you once thanked Legalboxer for saying something similar.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 6:12 pm
Kar, having since discussed this with you elsewhere, I think we can agree there’s been some considerable misunderstandings and we should just leave it at that. 
I do feel compelled to say that I would never thank someone for saying what was said here.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 6:20 pm
I think you thanked Legal for saying something similar to "Understanding people always matters." Just to clear up another misunderstanding. Sigh.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 6:31 pm
Understanding and respecting other people is so important. I agree with that!
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Legalboxer
Member
11-17-2003
| Tuesday, March 14, 2023 - 6:43 pm
I think others have responded to most of what I would said as follow up (thank you Since for noting the reactions from the audience in India…that goes to what I initially had stated …Malala handled it well but I never would target a joke or humorous tease towards a Pakistani woman given their culture in Malala’s region degrading women so much)
Jimmer - I am aware this is about the Oscars. Just didn’t want to be a hypocrite in what I talk to groups about, so couldn’t stay silent with the broad statement about how recipients respond to jokes in general. The only way to stop harm when it happens is to have the person saying the joke know it’s consequences - whether the harm was intentional or not. And as a side Oscar note, I just told 32 graduate students in a guest lecture two weeks ago to watch the Best Picture winner 1947 movie Gentlemen’s Agreement to see the impact of subtle things like jokes etc. (which I know I have referenced before in TVCH - along with playing it at a staff training back in my old job) ….definitely deserved the Oscar even against miracle on 34th street and Great Expectations.
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Scooterrific
Member
07-07-2005
| Wednesday, March 15, 2023 - 8:59 am
I pretty much live by the rule that if people are discussing something I'm not interested in, I move on, I don't insist that they shouldn't, nor do I find it annoying.
I usually do that, which is why I stay out of the News/Views/Political threads.
However, I came in here to read about the Oscars, and how great they were, and I find everyone nitpicking on what Jimmy said, and how awful it was, and it just set me off.
(Also being called ignorant didn't help things)
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Wednesday, March 15, 2023 - 10:48 am
Not everyone.
I don't think people should live in fear of offending someone at the Oscars. At the same time I also think they should respect other people's feelings and recognize and apologize for something that they are told is offensive and hurtful.
In this particular situation, it's not at all clear that anyone was hurt. Malala certainly hasn't indicated that and a little gentle mischief at shows like the Oscars is generally considered fair play. I think we need to be balanced. Not ignore or diminish anyone's feelings but at the same time not generate negativity where none may exist in the first place.
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Scooterrific
Member
07-07-2005
| Wednesday, March 15, 2023 - 11:04 am
Not everyone. :-) My apologies, Jimmer, not everyone
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, March 15, 2023 - 11:18 am
Not ignore or diminish anyone's feelings but at the same time not generate negativity where none may exist in the first place.
Sometimes it's both/and, not either/or.
Some people were clearly bothered, as was I. Others not so much. So it is true that for the same action, some people will have strong negative feelings, and that is not *creating* negativity, it is honoring the real feelings of real human beings. And clearly others may not have been bothered.
Personally, I thought the joke was in bad taste because it seemed to be *about* her, and as someone who may not be fully aware of American culture, she had no lens to interpret the stupid question. Heck, I'm American and I had never heard of this spitting controversy.
It was disrespectful precisely because of that. I'm glad she took it in stride, and I think we would all do well to follow her response to all this of "just be kind."
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