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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 10:59 am 
I'm trying to remember that. I thought Jack knew he was there and refused to have anything to do with him? He didn't even tell Rebecca and the kids that he had a brother.
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Maris
Member
03-27-2002
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 12:09 pm
Baby, my mother passed away last year too at 101. We couldn't have a service for her due to COVID which in itself was a whole different experience. We made decision to bring in home hospice because of COVID because we knew if she went to hospital she would die alone. All her grandchildren visited her on her last day, as well as her children so we sort of had a service for her while she was alive.
It was like she was there and then she was gone - no ceremony.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 12:15 pm
đ, Maris! My mom had been moved to a board and care facility right before Covid started. She had run out of LTC insurance, and the memory care place was really expensive, plus she was no longer as social as she'd been, so she was in a family setting when she passed. We'd started her on hospice care when we moved her. They were awesome! I highly recommend hospice care for people in their last days.
One of the main reasons we couldn't have a funeral was that my nephew (who lives in Oregon and was raised by my parents so he's more like a brother) wasn't able to travel. We couldn't do a funeral without him. He and his wife were finally able to rent a car in July and they drove down for a visit. We had a really nice family lunch at the same place where we'd had my mother's 90th birthday party, in lieu of a funeral. It was just nice to be together.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 12:21 pm
Do we know what year the mom died? TheNicky storyline has him estranged from Jack until 1992, when he started sending postcards to Jack. Up til then, Jack didnât know where he was at. He had been in a mental hospital for some time after the war too.
https://this-is-us-nbc.fandom.com/wiki/Nicky_Pearson
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 12:45 pm
It must have been about 1986, cause the kids were 6. Weren't they supposedly born in 1980?
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 1:28 pm
I was vaguely remembering Jack chastising Nicky about not being there for his mom. But, I canât find anything about it online.
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Maris
Member
03-27-2002
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 1:32 pm
I thought Nicky disappeared and Jack lost touch with him. If memory serves correctly, Jack enlisted to follow Nicky who had been drafted. Their relationship fell apart in Vietnam.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Friday, January 28, 2022 - 10:58 pm
Maris, yes. My recollection is Jack went to Vietnam to find Nicky, and they became estranged thereafter.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Saturday, January 29, 2022 - 1:55 am
But then there were the postcards, which Jack his.
Was Kevin the one who found the cards and then sought to find Nicky? I think that was it.
My parents had decided not to have any funeral or service and pre paid for cremation and scattering at sea, so we had no service. No pandemic. On the day my dad was told my mom's ashes were going out, we went down to a bench overlooking the pacifid and Corona del Mar (Big Corona beach). It was where my dad walked every day from home and back and the bench was a favorite of both of them.
Then when dad died, I went to the same bench and then down to the beach.
We did contact family of course and long time friends of theirs and got lovely cards and notes and phone calls.
My mom died in February but she already had bought her Christmas cards on sale, so I sent them out before Thanksgiving so as to alert everyone on the list that they both were gone. We had both obits and and another tribute I had in the paper for my dad, plus the last picture of the two of them and last pictures I took of my dad and a letter.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Saturday, January 29, 2022 - 4:45 am
Yes, I think Kevin spearheaded the move to track down Nicky.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Saturday, January 29, 2022 - 12:20 pm
Sea, that's a beautiful story of your parents being scattered over the ocean. My dad died in 1988 (cancer). When they knew he wasn't going to live, they paid for both of their cremations in advance. My dad was scattered over the ocean. When my mom passed in 2021, I chose to have her ashes scattered over the Sierra/Lake Tahoe region, because they had had so many happy camping trips together in that area over the years. I was grateful my mom had prepaid for her cremation, cause the price had increased by thousands of dollars since my dad died.
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Saturday, January 29, 2022 - 3:40 pm
Was the episode well done? Yes it was, however, I still prefer going forward with the story not back and don't really care if it ties in with Rebecca perhaps dying.
I think Jack knew where Nicky was or at least that he was alive. He called the jerk dad but not the jerk brother? All about Jack once again, no wonder Kate is so self centered and selfish.
I don't care for the Cassidy character and had hoped to never see her again. Cassidy is Kevin's Deja, a character that sucks the life out of the story or has stayed to long, IMO. I rather think people are hoping that all the character's stories are wrapped up in a pretty little happy-ever-after bow which might be nice but not how life really pans out.
This Is Us has been a generational story and I would rather see how Kevin, Kate, Randall and their kids are in the here and now and the future than going backwards. I guess we shall see what the show runners want us to see.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Saturday, January 29, 2022 - 10:06 pm
Sugar, I don't think he knew at the time of his mom's death. They thought Nicky was dead.
I think the show has been pretty amazing all along.
Babyjax.. My parents had a choice of ocean, mountains and desert. They were surprised about desert and were told that very few people made that choice. They spend over 30 years seeing the ocean from their home, so it made the most sense. (Other than if a golf course had been an option).
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 9:58 am
Why would Jack have thought Nicky was dead? Jack just totally rejected Nicky and didnât give him a chance to explain anything.
Jack has some good qualities but he also has some bad ones as well.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 9:59 am
I finally watched the episode last night... I found it touching. Maybe because it is because I've had to come to terms with the possible end of my life and how that would affect my son. I like that his mom had all the plans done... I plan on doing that as well.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 10:55 am
(((KAR)))
Was in tears for most of the ep.
My mom also had her plot and service thoughtfully prepaid for years before she passed.
Like Kar, we are starting to plan this type of stuff for ourselves. Will probably make our arrangements over the next few months.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 11:00 am
(((Mame))) Thanks for understanding!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 11:33 am
â¤ď¸ đŤ đ
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 11:54 am
Family gets really weird when trying to deal with funeral plans. After my mom had her stroke, she started declining after the 3rd year. One evening, I sat her and my dad down and told them that the best gift they could give us kids (4 of us) was to have their final plans in place. They were both veterans of WWII, so they only needed to set up what they wanted with the funeral home. They agreed. I was with them through the planning as support. They were both happy to do it for us. It was also financially responsible, as if my dad ran out of money taking care of my mom⌠the funeral plan couldnât be touched. When I told my siblings that we did this, my brother replied with disgust at me, âI hope mom doesnât think itâs okay to die now. â I wanted to reply âwhy do you care? Itâs not like you ever visit themâ. But, I just ignored him because, I have always seemed to be the peacemaker in the family. Frankly, I was grateful when the time came that we didnât have to deal much with either burial. Oh, and my mom lasted 2 more years and my dad 12.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 12:14 pm
Kookliebird, too many people think talking about death is taboo. But it's just part of life. Once again, none of us is getting out of here alive. That was really good thinking on your part to get your parents' final plans set up and paid for in advance. It probably gave them peace of mind, too, knowing that their kids wouldn't have to handle all that stuff in a time of grieving. Your brother was totally out of line with that comment. I'm sorry.
{{{Kar}}}. Now that both my parents are gone and I'm not getting any younger, I'm starting to worry about that stuff myself. My DH is 75 and I'm 66. We have a 21 year old son who is on the ASD spectrum and not yet fully independent. Not sure when (if ever) he will be. My husband has two older children from his first marriage, but they're not really close with their little brother. I worry about what would happen to him were anything to happen to us. I think he would probably go to stay with my nephew in Oregon, who's in his 50s. My parents raised Jim, so he's more like a brother to me, and Jack (our son) calls him Uncle Jim. It's sad to have to think of these things.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 12:57 pm
Kar, I totally understand. We had signed up to donate our bodies to science. Figured it was good for the world and good for our kids, they would have no burial expenses. But a couple years ago we were talking about it again with our son and he said it creeped him out having our bodies being on display and didnt want us to. So we changed it. I plan to ask him again in a few years and see if it still bothers him.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 1:44 pm
I think this is the kind of thing that is different for everyone and there is no one best way.
My parents were the best and I had a wonderful relationship with them. They planned absolutely nothing with respect to what would happen when they passed, we didn't discuss it in any detail and I was perfectly fine with taking care of that for them after they were gone.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 6:11 pm
I need to take care of this, but not having any children, it is harder to say who decides this or that or gets this or that.
It is on my mind really. I like the donated body or donated brain concept.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-24-2003
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 10:42 pm
Seamonkey, on my mind too -- being 75, no family. (While ago doc said I have years to go. Good health for my age, but you never know.) Either in the ground or up in smoke. Don't know which yet. Should decide and take care of it.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, January 30, 2022 - 11:59 pm
There is some way you can go be buried by trees (I think redwoods) .. have only seen ads for that.
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