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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Sunday, June 05, 2022 - 9:25 am 
I just finished watching the last three episodes this afternoon. I recorded them and watched them all together. I'm still crying, especially going back and reading all of your comments above.
My dad died in 1988 of cancer. I did get to say goodbye to him, but I still miss him nearly 34 years later. My mom died just last year. She had dementia, and I wasn't able to see her much during the final year of her life, due to Covid.
I saw her a few days before she passed. They brought her in her wheelchair to the back sliding door of the home she lived in, and my son stood outside in the cold and said hi to her. The only thing she said was, "I need to go back inside," because she was cold. The attendant did break the rules and let me hug her, but by that time she didn't know who I was, even though we'd always been close.
She died on Jan 10, 2021. They'd called me that morning that she wasn't feeling well, but I thought they'd just fix her up and she'd be okay (she'd been under the weather the day before, too). But then they called me a second time and said I'd better come, cause she wasn't doing well. By the time I got there (only about 20 minutes away), she was gone.
Both of my older sisters and my favorite cousin are also gone, so the only one who remembers anything about our childhood is my younger brother (3 years younger), and he has a much different viewpoint of a lot of events.
It does change your life when you lose your parents. I'm older now than my dad was when he passed away. It makes you feel like time is spinning too fast and you might not be here much longer.
I thought the last few episodes were excellent (oh, Miguel!!!), but the finale was kind of anti-climatic. But then many times so is a funeral.
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Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Sunday, June 05, 2022 - 10:57 am
(((Babyjaxmom))))
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Sunday, June 05, 2022 - 3:40 pm
(((((BJM)))))
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Monday, June 06, 2022 - 3:43 am
(((BJM))) I feel the same way. My dad died at 52, my mom at 61. I turn 60 this year. My grandma lived to 102 but had dementia for over 10 yrs, that is my fear
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Monday, June 06, 2022 - 5:46 am
Thanks for the hugs, friends! I appreciate it. My mom was 97, so she had a good, long life, but she had dementia for the last several years. She was always cheerful and sweet, and her caregivers appreciated that about her. We moved her to a smaller board and care home right before Covid started, cause it was a lot cheaper than the place we'd moved her into when she was a lot more interactive with people and enjoyed the activities (also because it was very, very expensive). Some of the caregivers there cried when she left, cause she'd been there for 5 years.
It would have been nice to have been able to keep her at home with in-home care and extended family to help, but we didn't have those options.
Pamy, I worry about dementia too! Whenever I forget/can't remember something, I freak out that it's happening to me too!!! I'm afraid I'll turn into my mom.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Wednesday, June 08, 2022 - 1:58 am
Once you have a parent with dementia, you do look at yourself more closely. My mom had lewy body dementia for about 4 years. Probably a bit longer than her diagnosis. I took care of her for those 4 years. I was lucky that I was able to do that. I think we all find the best care for our situations. There were days that I wished I wasn't doing it but we pulled through. She died just short of her 90th birthday. She would ask me almost daily how old she was or when her birthday was but she just couldn't hold out to the day.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Wednesday, June 08, 2022 - 3:24 am
Bless you, Mamie, for being able to take care of your mom. We (mainly me) took care of my mom for 7 1/2 years, but it just got to be too much for my family. My husband was worn out, and our lives revolved around her. She was like a toddler. We couldn't leave her home alone, so somebody always had to be here with her. We had her in a day program (like preschool for old people--she loved it!) 4 days a week, and my brother would come take her out 2 days a week to give us a break. We were exhausted.
I felt bad putting my mom in a home, but she had insurance for it (only lasted 5 years, that's why we had to move her to a cheaper place), and she actually thrived there. They had all-day activities and round-the-clock supervision. They even took field trips on the little bus they had. She enjoyed her life there, and it gave us our lives back. I took her to lunch nearly every week, until she fell and broke her hip, then not so often, but still as often as I could. She always loved to eat out. She was 97 when she passed.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Wednesday, June 08, 2022 - 8:32 am
You should never feel bad for getting your mom the best care for her and for you. Thank God for my husband and son because I didn't get help from my siblings. I often told my mom she just could have stopped after having me. (I am the oldest of 4)
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Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Wednesday, June 08, 2022 - 10:35 am
I hate dementia/Alzheimer’s. My husband’s grandfather and mom both died of complications due to dementia/Alzheimer’s. His grandfather was found walking down the street naked in a snow storm, died about 6 weeks later. My husband’s mom “lived” with her diagnosis for about 5 years in a vegetative state for 2 years because there was nothing physically wrong with her…she had the best blood pressure! We just had to wait for her to forget to breathe.BJM, i completely understand the emotions and the financial drain that comes with it all. The cost of all the facilities and the care is incredible.
Any little thing my husband forgets makes us both jumpy. Thankfully, we have a great neurologist who is monitoring him closely. But it’s scary seeing a glimpse of his possible future. He’s already had a stroke (2000) and heart attack/triple bypass (2009 at age 54). We are hopeful that those were his big health things and he didn’t win the genetic dementia lottery.
Thankfully, my dad’s leukemia took him before his dementia really took hold.
I hate dementia.
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Sanfranjoshfan
Member
09-16-2000
| Monday, January 13, 2025 - 1:09 pm
I just scrolled down to see what other shows were still here. I noticed This is Us and that made me wonder if Milo was doing a show now.
Instead I learned sad news:
"This Is Us" star Milo Ventimiglia loses home to Los Angeles fires in eerie reflection of on-screen tragedy
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/this-is-us-star-milo-ventimiglia-loses-home-los-angeles-fires/
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