| Author |
Message |
Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Thursday, October 29, 2020 - 12:28 pm 
Every family has its issues. As wonderful as parents may be, sometimes kids just grow up to have drug/alcohol problems or mental/emotional problems. Parents do the best they can, but none of them are perfect.
As soon as Rebecca mentioned having taken "allergy medicine" for her poison ivy, I thought, "Uh oh."
Was Rebecca diagnosed with anything other than "mild cognitive impairment"? That's not really a diagnosis, but only a measurement of loss of brain function. My mother started out with that, but it went on from there. She's to the point where she doesn't know any of us (it doesn't help that we haven't been able to see her for the last 7 months) and she doesn't talk much. I'm so thankful I moved her to a smaller board and care facility before Covid happened!
|
Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Thursday, October 29, 2020 - 2:58 pm
Yes, after the doctor said she showed some cognitive impairment she had an MRI, which showed what looked like early sign of Alzheimer's.
I'm glad your mom's in a good faciity, Babyjax. I hope you see her soon.
|
Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Thursday, October 29, 2020 - 8:50 pm
Oh, and how about that ending? Is Randall now going to get a living birth mother, after he already had two Dads? I thought the foreshadowing of (?Monica?) as a budding civil rights activist could be an interesting story line.
|
Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, October 30, 2020 - 10:36 am
I liked every aspect of the story except the mother coming to life at the end. Hopefully that part of the storyline will get resolved in a believable way.
My heart broke for both Randall and Kate. Family discussions often get uncomfortable and this one was. Kate has such a good heart, but just cannot understand Randall's deep pain.
The nuances of raising a black boy in a white home is an incredibly powerful storyline. These loving parents adopted and raised a black child in a different time, with the best intentions.
They do not know what they do not know. It takes a lot to learn about the nuances of living in America as a black boy and then a black man. It would be hard to believe that this family would fully comprehend the history of oppression and racism against black people and how it might affect one they love dearly.
|
Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Friday, October 30, 2020 - 11:46 am
I so wanted Kate to say, "I'm sorry I didn't understand what you were going through. I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you. But I love you and I want to understand and support you. Just talk to me."
And I wanted Kevin to say, "I'm really sorry what I said before. I didn't mean that, I was just angry." I wanted him to give Randall a hug.
And sometimes I get so frustrated with Randall. He had parents who loved him and tried to do the best they could for him. They weren't perfect, but nobody's parents are. I get tired of him being such a victim all the time.
Now I remember, Kitt. I think Rebecca was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, which is what my mom has. My mom has tiny strokes or bleeds in her brain, that aren't incapacitating, but that cause her to lose brain function and memories. A lot of people think all dementia is Alzheimers, but there are many different sources of dementia, only one of which is Alzheimers.
|
Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Friday, October 30, 2020 - 12:36 pm
We have to remember that the show has only showed us four years for the siblings, aged 36 to 40, and at the start of it Randall was accomplished but constantly anxious, constantly trying to make people happy, always subduing his emotions for others, always trying to be perfect at everything. He'd purposely not, never, ever, been the victim for all that time, because he was too busy protecting everyone else.
Then he finds his father and it just changes everything, with all the emotions that unfold from that, including finding out that his mother denied them a relationship (other than the short one he had before William died). Add that to the political and social reality of the last few years and it's just too much for him.
So it might feel to us as the viewer that he's always thinking of himself, but from his side (if this were real and not a tv show ;)) he's finally realised that he is an individual person and has needs too, and he's not going to be able to continue unless he takes time to look after himself. Yes, it's been a rocky road where he's gone too far the other way, putting his political career over his family, but even then it was because he wanted to fix things for that community.
His personality is pretty baked in (and I assume we are meant to assume he's on the spectrum) and this is a difficult journey for him. And irritating for us to watch at times, but he's trying his best as there really isn't an alternative for him. It's that or crash and burn, he can't just be what many if us would think of as "normal," that's not just in him. He will always be intense and he has to get a hold of that or bad things will happen.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, November 01, 2020 - 6:06 pm
I remember the first time we saw Randall break down before he quit his job , it was Kevin who left a performance and came to be with him. Kevin almost never gets credit for anything good. In this show Kate was berating him for not answering his phone but he just let it go and didn't explain that he and Madison had been smack in the middle of being terrified that one or both twins were harmed or dead. By the time they had great news, she picked up on the "fiancee" part but the Rebecca angst was strong still and then Randall rode in on his charger.
(and it was good that all of his obsession with Rebecca's dementia (which I don't remember being diagnosed as vascular, but could be) that he was super aware of the possible drug interactions!
Now, Kate, as an adult, recently has been one of the people Randall has shut out, so it seemed that she had tried to be supportive, remember she sent a text with a picture of Jack at a BLM demonstration? but Randall has not been answering all of her many text overtures.
I think getting a black therapist is the key and I do remember that his current therapist DID mention that issue when Randall first came to her for therapy to deal with his Rebecca issues since he had such anger about her not telling him about meeting his father years before. Thus, a white female therapist.
She handled his decision wall, probably anticipated it and it is really good that he chose to tell her, though facetime or zoom might have been better, but I imagine that when he realized he needed to move on in therapy, he wanted to resolve it right away.
I hope we are not correct in thinking that his new therapist could be his long lost birth mother.
I did like her character when we saw her real nature and her aspirations.
The initial COVID scenes were pretty well done. I remember how from day to day people were not really getting what was going on and also how rapidly the cancellations started cascading. One minute I had a whole string of lectures, concerts, singing gigs, appointments and some were cancelled earlier, others postponed and rescheduled up to 4 times. I still have two bus trips that have been pushed. One is now scheduled for January (and I am not counting on it to stay firm) and another is now bumped again til May.
I like that they are including the pandemic, especially in this show, though I think from previews it is a feature in The Good Doctor, Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 and other shows coming up.
Interesting that Randall questioned his actual birthday, so they showed us exactly how it went down. Even if he finds his mother or she finds him (as I assume will somehow happen) SHE may not know the timing since even if she was rescusitated, they probably took her to a hospital (hmm same one??) and I would guess that William went on a bender and may have moved to that smaller apartment or been homeless when she went looking.
Now we have Kevin with twins on the way, boy and girl.
And Toby and Kate matched to a single mom wanting to put her baby up for adoption..well there could be all sorts of drama there, but the mom is white and I was relieved a bit, just thinking how Randall would feel seeing a black child adopted by his white sister and brother in law, though that baby would have a great aunt, uncle and cousins who looked like him or her..
Kevin's addiction is third generation, at least, though of course people make choices but there can be a predisposition.
I liked Randall's talk with Malik.. when he said he could be his best friend or his daughter's boyriend, not both.. I think about then he started thinking that he DID need to change to a black therapist, also not a best friend but someone who would relate.
|
Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Sunday, November 01, 2020 - 11:11 pm
Wow, thanks, Seamonkey, for all the different things to think about.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, November 02, 2020 - 2:33 am
This show brings up a lot to think about.
|
Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 10:59 am
Pamy, so far, I agree re the ending gasp of breath from Randall's birth mother, can't remember her name. I suspect she will end up being his new therapist. Hope the show isn't "jumping the shark".
|
Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 1:16 pm
I hate to be startled, and I jumped when she gasped!
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 2:10 pm
Sugar, I saw a tweet from producers yesterday and they said she will NOT be the therapist. BUT..they didnt say if the new therapist could be related to her  sly grin!
|
Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 2:48 pm
I think he will find that he has a sister.
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 7:23 pm
or a brother
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 8:32 pm
Yep, that is likely.
|
Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, November 04, 2020 - 8:42 pm
The potential sibling could be his therapist.
|
Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Thursday, November 05, 2020 - 5:53 am
Considering how many people find out about unknown relatives through the Ancestry dna tests that causes family drama, I could immediately see that as a possibility. However, i think it will be a sibling(s), not his mother.
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Thursday, November 05, 2020 - 8:17 am
My guess is also it will be a sibling that grew up with black parents. I think then they will explore the differences.
|
Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Wednesday, November 11, 2020 - 8:22 pm
I watched the third episode tonight on nbc.com. And I am very confused about the Vietnamese child and grandfather. And who was the woman in the photographs all over the house? They showed a photo at the end, and she looked vaguely familiar, seemed to be a black woman, but I couldn't place her as being in any other story line thus far.
|
Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Wednesday, November 11, 2020 - 8:27 pm
I think it was Randall's birth mother. Hard to tell with the constant possibility of time jumps, but I thought that's who it was.
It was especially weird that she was in all the photos, and still alive, but the granddaughter acted as if she didn't know her.
|
Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Wednesday, November 11, 2020 - 11:21 pm
I dont think we know with any certainty that Randall's birth mother is still alive. I do suspect that was who was in the photos and seems to have been part of the Vietnamese gentlemans' past and not someone his young granddaughter knows. Of course, as mentioned, the time jumps make it tricky to know.
|
Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Thursday, November 12, 2020 - 12:17 am
Oh I wonder if he regularly goes to visit her grave. I've forgotten the words he used when he said he was going to her, but he might have meant he was going to visit her grave or memorial.
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Thursday, November 12, 2020 - 1:52 pm
producers confirmed it was his mom in the pic
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Thursday, November 12, 2020 - 2:59 pm
Kitt, I think that is likely. If she was still alive the little girl would know who she is/was
|
Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Thursday, November 12, 2020 - 4:35 pm
Once again this show gave me goosebumps right at the end. I love that Madison goes to Outlander conventions. It made me like her more!
|
|
|
|
