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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 1:19 pm 
I believe that Kate loves Rebecca, but feels like she can never live up to her. Kate is harboring deep resentment based on her childhood. From her childhood, she she has felt uncomfortable in her own skin. Remember how she was discounted by the girls at the pool. During those times, her father loved her unconditionally. Her mother loved her as well and tried to do what she knew to help her (making her clothes, not allowing her to eat certain things, helping her to sing better etc.) All these things caused Kate, who loves her mother deeply, to resent her for what she perceives as being everything she is not (beautiful, slim, singer.) Also, Kate likely felt that her mother was trying to make her into something she was not.
In her later years, we see Kate trying hard to overcome this by biting her lip and trying to be kinder to her mother. We see her mother genuinely trying to connect with Kate, but not knowing how to do it. When you know better you do better.
I love this dynamic. Both of them are trying very hard to express their deep love for each other. I predict that this tension will culminate with a big blowup where they finally start to "get" each other.
I can relate to this storyline a lot, although my story is not as "dramatic". I love my own mother dearly and she is so gorgeous, skinny, and confident. She dresses impeccably and loves to socialize with her many friends. I'm not bad looking, but I'm certainly not as glamorous as her. As an introvert, I wished that I could be that; do that. But, I preferred to stay in my bedroom and read books during my childhood. In some ways, I wanted to have everything my mother had. As I grew into myself, I started to become my own person. Only when I learned to love myself for who I am, could I truly express my deep love for my Mom. And, only then could she really start to connect with me.
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 1:55 pm
Rebecca told Kate what a great job she did singing and then kind of ruined it by saying that some day she would learn to sing to a room.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 2:03 pm
I believe that she genuinely thought she was helping. But, that was the wrong thing to say. When you know better, you do better.
Again, my life magnified 1000 times. My mother constantly tried to get me to "go out" "make friends" and "get designer stuff", all to make me better. She thought she was helping me, but it only made me resent her more. Little did I know that, I would look back in later years and see that I learned so many valuable lessons from all those things I "pushed back" on.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 2:07 pm
This is such a great show. It really makes us think and analyze everything. Love it!
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 2:37 pm
Strategist, Im so happy you learned to love yourself and were able to connect with your mom. I think that is exactly wht Kate needs to do
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 3:04 pm
Thanks, Pamy. I love how the stories delve deep into each person and we learn secrets about how they think and what they believe. Every character builds so wonderfully, flaws and all.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 4:06 pm
I agree.. We get depth and dimension, and we care.
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 4:46 pm
I still don't quite understand why you think Kate "loves her mother deeply". I can't recall anything we have seen to support that. I don't believe Kate hates Rebecca, she is often annoyed or exasperated with her. She loved Jack beyond measure as he seemed to be unconditionally accepting of Kate. I agree that when Rebecca tried to help Kate, she resented it and didn't know what to do. She still doesn't and finds everything Rebecca does or says to be a criticism.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 6:46 pm
Ok. I see your point. Maybe "deeply" is not the right word. I feel that she does love her mother and is either "trying to live up to her", or feels like she will "never live up to her". Either way, Kate is broken. She does see everything that Rebecca does or says to be a criticism. Also, I do agree that Kate loves Jack because of his unconditional acceptance of her. Her love for Jack goes deep and if she sees Rebecca as somehow causing Jack to die, then I can see how this would escalate her resentment of Rebecca.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-24-2003
| Saturday, October 07, 2017 - 9:04 pm
From Glamour magazine
"The Story Behind Kate and Rebecca's Explosive Fight on 'This Is Us' Season Two Episode Two"
Link
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Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 9:47 am
Thanks for that link Color, it was a fun read and watching the "birthday" video afterwards put a smile on my face.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 12:37 pm
Relationships between mothers and daughters can be complicated. I love my mother, but she drove me crazy sometimes. I've never forgotten writing home from college that I'd made "spagetti" for my roommates, and my mother (ever the school teacher) wrote back that I must have "cooked the 'h' out of it." It was 40 years ago and it still stings. I felt she should have been glad that I took the time to write and I felt criticized, even though I'm sure she meant it as a joke.
Rebecca should have simply expressed how proud she was of Kate singing in the bar and not tried to critique her. Kate is so sensitive to her mother's opinion, there was nothing Rebecca could have (or should have) said other than, "You were wonderful!" Kate will grow and become better on her own over time. She doesn't need her mother coaching her--or as she feels, criticizing her.
I still think there's a lot of love between them. It's not like Rebecca is trying to be mean to Kate. She's just inept at saying the right thing and overcompensates. She means well.
(And honestly, I didn't think Kate was that good either. But it takes time and much practice to develop confidence. She's just not there yet. But I'm not her mother.)
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 3:48 pm
Rebecca should have stayed where she had been invited, IMO.
The meltdown about adoption should have happened elsewhere and not when Randall was supporting the brother who left his own play to go to Randall when he was in back world of hurt. IMO.
Kevin irritated Beth by living in her basement, but he bonded with her daughters.
And now she finds out that Kevin was instrumental in her even being with her husband.
Now she has this great idea 💡 to bring in a troubled teen.. But isn't she working, while Randall is house husband?
Frustrating, but they are all human.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 4:00 pm
Im really surprised she would want an at risk teen while her daughters are still so young
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 4:47 pm
Why?
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 6:05 pm
To me it would make a bit more sense if Beth was the at home parent, since she was the one to expand Randall's desire to raise an unwanted hit baby.
But in real life, they would go through more than just arguing and filling out forms, but would be evaluated, tested and trained before a placement.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 7:50 pm
i just would be afraid of what I was exposing them to but I forgot Randall will be there as the stay at home dad so he can monitor what the kids talk about and behaviours.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 8:19 pm
Well, we get to see the beginning next week!
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Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 10:18 pm
Why is Randall able to stay at home now? I'm having a bad case of CRS...hmmm, thinking now that he quit his job during last season's show??
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Sunday, October 08, 2017 - 10:44 pm
Yes, Randall quit his job.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, October 09, 2017 - 12:12 am
And his wife went to work while we were between seasons.
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Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, October 09, 2017 - 9:11 am
Ahhh, okay. Thanks Sugar and Seamonkey!!
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Monday, October 09, 2017 - 11:50 am
I think Beth was already working when the show began. Is she an attorney?
Poor Kevin, he invited the whole family to come to the taping of his show and only Miguel and his nieces could be bothered to stay. His sweetie stayed also, can't recall her name.
Get over it Kate. Of course Rebecca would be interested in seeing her daughter sing as Rebecca is also a singer. If you can't take comments from anyone who heard you, mama or not, you need to rethink this being in the spotlight thing.
BTW, Kate did not tell Rebecca not to come when she left to go to the gig.
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Jenjackso
Member
02-10-2009
| Monday, October 09, 2017 - 1:27 pm
I would only bring an at-risk boy into the house if he was much younger than the daughters, otherwise I would stick with a girl but them not telling the girls, I'm sorry, this is a whole family project. Everyone has to be on board to help a child the right way. When we have discussed bringing an older child into the house the whole family gets a say and if one person has an issue then it wouldn't happen. So far, everyone has always been on board.
I do not love my mother. I take care of her, I do everything she needs, I'm nice to her, I put up with everything, but I do not love her. I feel no emotion towards her other than occasional pity on how she has made choices that have caused much loss for her.
My mother can sing beautifully. So beautiful. But any time I would try to sing she would tell me to stop or to stop enunciating while singing, etc. That is not why I don't love my mother but I can understand Kate. My mother did far worse things to me, but I cried when I saw Kate's face because I know the underlying issues.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, October 09, 2017 - 2:01 pm
Kate didn't invite her mother. And Rebecca was presumably there to support her son, Kevin, who had invited her.
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