| Author |
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Monday, November 28, 2016 - 7:43 pm 
I don't think Toby was mean to her about the game, she acquiesced and accepted his invitation to watch the game at his house. She could have firmly told him, no thank you and/or no thank you and why but opted not to so that is her fault. He had no idea she wanted to watch with her dead dad.
Kate said I can't date a fat guy...then changed her mind. Toby said he won't diet anymore. Kate didn't like it but again, acquiesced and agreed that he could eat what he wanted and she would diet. She is eating things she doesn't like and resenting Toby for not doing the same. Ironically, her eating that way isn't helping her to lose weight and she is furious. Remember when she lost a pound and walked out of the meeting? She hasn't found a good balance to eat things like a regular portion of pasta vs a big ol' bowl of it. Losing weight is extremely difficult as is changing eating habits. All the things she has tried apparently haven't worked and she is unhappy, likely for many reasons, none of them Toby's fault. He is her current scapegoat.
I like Kate and being twice the person I ought to be myself understand the difficulty of losing weight but she is the jerk in this case.
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Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Monday, November 28, 2016 - 8:00 pm
Kate said she couldn't date a fat guy so he said he wouldn't be a fat guy, he'd diet, so it's Toby who broke that deal. And she agreed he could eat what he wanted because what else could she do, other than dump him? She knows it's wrong to try to control him so she made the decision that was best for herself. She might not do any better by herself than she does with him, but she is trying really hard and I think she owes it to herself to keep on trying, not give in because the person who was meant to support her decided not to bother any more.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Monday, November 28, 2016 - 8:13 pm
Kitt, me too! I liked Toby until this last ep.
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Monday, November 28, 2016 - 11:32 pm
But she did date a fat guy, he wasn't going to be thin overnight. If the deal breaker was his not dieting anymore, she should have stood up for herself then and didn't. She decided she would eat her way and he would eat his way. She encouraged him to eat desert and resented him for doing so. She blames him for her eating donuts and he wasn't even there.
Of course she needs to do what is best for her and that may mean not seeing Toby anymore but she let him believe all was hunky dory.
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Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Monday, November 28, 2016 - 11:56 pm
When she said she didn't want to date a fat guy (I believe) she meant she didn't want to date someone who ate like a fat guy. She wasn't concerned by his looks, so him being thin or the time it took him to be thin wasn't an issue, him eating in a way that helped her keep on her diet was the issue, and he seemed to understand that and said he would go on a diet too.
And when he went off the diet she was already involved with him, didn't want to end it but wanted to make it work, even though she seemed to know at that time that it couldn't anymore. She wanted to give it a chance.
If my husband was on a diet and encouraged me to have a dessert because I wasn't, I'd say no I was full, or I'd say I'd get something at home, or I'd order the smallest scoop of ice cream. I wouldn't order a huge sundae and make him watch it. It's cruel. I even thought it was bad writing to have Toby do that, because it didn't seem realistic that a loving partner would do that.
So I don't believe she let him think it was hunky dory, she made it very clear it would be extremely difficult for her if he went off his diet but she can't make him stay on the diet and she can't make him be considerate. And he just didn't seem to be willing to come to any sort of compromise to make it possible for them to stay together. She did at least try to see if she could live with his new behaviour.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 4:30 am
She should not have to compromise if he will not.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 6:58 am
I like them together and hope they sort it out.
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Starr
Member
07-09-2005
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:03 am
》double standard to be upset if a female actor gains or loses for the role...
You're right, Texannie. You've changed my mind. ☺ kate's storyline has clearly been her unhappiness and struggle with weight. It was my wrong assumption (for lack of better word) to hope she'd be a big woman role model, showing that life doesn't have to be about being thin. My bad. I'm curious to see how her weight loss progresses, tho. To think it will work this time because it's in a contract, or to think it'll happen because she's doing it for someone else, etc... will be interesting to watch.
I'm also looking forward (for the drama, not really looking forward to, LOL) to the fallout from Rebecca keeping William from Randall all his life. I cannot even imagine finding that out (especially when William is dying) ohmygosh! Mom had been Randall's champion all his life, now this. Ugh!}
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Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:11 am
Kate says one thing and then does another. Perhaps she simply isn't a very strong person. She knew Toby eating whatever and her picking at a salad would drive her crazy yet agreed to that scenario. I don't know what sort of compromise would have worked. Toby didn't like eating steel cut oats and salad. Kate didn't like him eating desert or pasta. Kate told Toby to order desert. He declined, she insisted and so he ordered desert. She doesn't get to be all boo-hoo I can't have cake and he can...when he was willing to forgo desert. If that is extremely difficult for her, she should not have insisted or perhaps asked him to get it to go and eat it later when she wasn't around. She is being inconsiderate to herself. This could well be one of her issues.
Toby wanted to pursue a potential romantic relationship with Kate. Did Kate only want a diet buddy? If that is the case, she shouldn't have put herself in a romantic situation.
I liked them together also. I think Toby helped bring her out of her shell a bit. Unfortunately her obsession with weight rules her life. Her being stunned that Toby had a thin ex-wife and then stalking her. She can't even go to a party and enjoy herself without copious amounts of alcohol as she sees every glance her way as someone making fun of her and seems jealous of the thinner ladies. She doesn't think she deserves anything nice or kind and therefore sabotages it when it does.
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:12 am
The issue is never about the amount of food you eat - it is the underlying causes of why you eat more than you should...(speaking from personal experience here). Kate has to learn why she chooses to stay grossly obese (let's face it - she's just not a plus sized woman - she passed that boundary a long time ago (again, not judging because I see the same issue in the mirror when I dare to look). She will suffer from long-term consequences by the choice of staying obese - heart problems, joint problems, fertility problems - to name a few. It is a hard journey because those of us who are overweight have to live in a world of food - it's not like you can go cold turkey because you have to eat to sustain life.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 9:08 am
Agreed. Weight issues are rarely about controlling your eating. It's about understanding why and the triggers. It's an addiction through and through.
I did read something that the actress agreed to lose weight as part of her contract with the show. So, I'm hoping we will understand her journey. So far, we have not see the 'why' of the eating.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 12:08 pm
I think they showed us a little of the "why" a couple of weeks back. When she was talking to her boss' chubby daughter, she was telling her that she'd always been in the shadow of her gorgeous, skinny mom.
Even though I'm not morbidly obese, I was always relatively skinny most of my adult life. I'm 5'10" and was a size 8 or a 10. But after my son was born in my 40s, I've never been able to lose the weight. I don't binge eat. I usually only eat 2 meals a day. Your metabolism just slows down when you get older. It sucks. I totally relate to Kate's weight and body issues.
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Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 12:22 pm
She also seems to play a protective role over the one brother, and although it hasn't been shown that much, perhaps a peacemaker between the two boys. And they show that when she was a child the mother seemed concerned about the boys and trying to make them get on better, and it's just the dad who looked out for Kate. She might have felt like she was the least important member of the family.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 12:24 pm
The "why" is explained, in that she has always struggled with her weight and felt "lesser than" others.
Many occurrences like the loss of her friends, her strict childhood diet, her mother being "skinny" and beautiful, her not having anything nice to wear as a child (where she felt she looked good), having to wear a t-shirt swimming are just a few reasons why food might have become a crutch for her.
Early years imprint on people and I could easily see why this happened based on the beautifully told story line.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 12:26 pm
Yes, Kitt. And, maybe both twins felt less important. It seems that the mother overcompensated for her adopted son in a number of ways. It's not wrong, but something that could easily affect the other two. Love the way this story is told.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 2:13 pm
We haven't really seen her interact with her mother as an adult yet.
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Heckagirl631
Member
09-08-2010
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 7:25 pm
Our weather people are ridiculous. They have been on all night. I'll have to watch this show online. Is that possible?
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Firebird05
Member
08-24-2001
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:01 pm
Weather problems here too. Saw all but the last 5 minutes.
The broke in when Randal said I'm doing it for dad.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:09 pm
I read she is wearing a 'fat suit' to make her appear larger. My guess is so they can show her losing weight rapidly at the beginning if she has the surgery.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:12 pm
oopps sorry it was for AHS not this show
When Metz won her role as Ima Wiggles on American Horror Story: Freak Show, she was surprisingly happy to learn that she would need to wear a fat suit to portray the character. As she explained to Yahoo TV:
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Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:15 pm
Toby is definitely in a fat suit but I think Kate isn't. Not entirely sure but she talks about having to lose weight during the role, which they wouldn't have to do if she already was smaller than the size she is in the show.
Not sure about online but it does come On Demand, if that's available to you weather problem guys.
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Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:16 pm
ah ok 
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Tuesday, November 29, 2016 - 8:53 pm
and that same article confirms in contract to lose weight and she loves it
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Wednesday, November 30, 2016 - 1:00 pm
Oh my gosh! This show is so amazing. Tuesday explained a lot about Randall and his Mom. I teared up a few times through the last 15 minutes.
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Kitt
Member
09-05-2000
| Wednesday, November 30, 2016 - 1:04 pm
I just love Randall!
I wasn't sure whether what he "saw" through the cabin window of his mum checking doors again and again to make sure everyone was safe was meant to be a metaphor or not. Were they saying she had mental problems (which the ghost-dad kind of hinted at) or that she just felt the need to keep everybody safe (normal reaction)?
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