| Author |
Message |
Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 4:52 pm 
Jada, and that goes both ways.
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Keldogg
Member
08-12-2005
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 4:54 pm
"Girls" has never been used as a racist term.
"Boy" has historically been used as a racist term.
And there is a difference between racism and bias.
Everyone has bias.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 4:55 pm
What I don't understand is why people get offended if someone suggests they may be guilty of unconscious bias?
Hell, I'm glad when people point it out. It gives me the opportunity to fix it.
It makes me wonder if the fact that someone is offended by it is another example of it.
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:06 pm
I think we all have bias with different things in our lives. Racism is different.
I agree Keldogg. The term boy is derogatory in the south, although I’ve heard white people use it towards their white children.
I use “the girls” referencing my two daughters or my friends.
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:06 pm
I understand, Keldogg, about the racist term thing, but my question is why?
I would bet money that slaveowners back in the day called female slaves "girl" just as much as they called male slaves "boy," yet only one carries the weight it does in this day and age.
In my own experience, having moved from Illinois to Texas I greatly offended a new co-worker one day by asking if "you guys" want to go to lunch. Her response was, "I am NOT a guy!" I guess I should have asked if "y'all" want to go to lunch, but I hadn't gotten fully Texanized yet.
Not that that story is related to racism or even bias, but just to say that "offensive" can be relative sometimes.
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:11 pm
Yikes Psch, I use the term “you guys” for everyone. I grew up in Maine but here in Georgia I stand out like a sore toe a lot.lol
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:19 pm
Sassyza thank you for asking this question and keeping an open mind about the responses.
Keldogg just popping in to say I'm with you and all your allies on this thread 100%. There are a lot of them 
Teaching about racism, discrimination and systemic bias has helped me understand these are deep-rooted issues which are hard for many of us to see. I've learned that calling people out as racist seldom helps. That is because nobody wants to believe that they are racist. All of us hold biases whether we believe it or not.
Jimmer, you've intuitively touched on aspects of Implicit and Internalized Bias, Interpersonal Bias, Structural Bias and Institutional Bias that exist. Micro-assaults happen when a person intentionally behaves in a discriminatory way while not intending to be offensive. Micro-insults are comments or actions that is unintentionally discriminatory. Micro-invalidations are when a person invalidates or undermines the experiences of a certain group of people. Many times the "offender" does not even realize that they are offending. That is not because they are bad. It's because they are not educated about the very deep and subtle nuances of racism.
It would take a master class to go into each of these things in detail. Suffice to say that someone said that "the secret is in the heart". It is possible to know what is in one's heart. If you don't believe that racism exists, then you can make the effort to learn why so many people feel that they have been targeted by racism.
The kindest thing you can do is to be an ally. Make the effort to learn what systemic bias is about. Try to understand why so many people feel that they have been targeted by racism. Put yourself in the shoes of those who express that there is racism. Sometimes it's very subtle. So subtle that you may not be able to see it...even on Big Brother...especially if you've never experienced it yourself.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:23 pm
Many times the "offender" does not even realize that they are offending.
Using Pschrfhd's example had she known that "you guys" was offensive to someone, she would not have said it.
This is why it's so important for us to learn what hurts other people and make efforts to mitigate that. Being an ally for people who are discriminated against is the very best thing you can do. It's very kind to make the effort to learn about these things. That's how we know your heart!
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:35 pm
On the other hand, Strategist, after I got to know that particular girl a little better I would probably have been guilty of a "micro-assault" or two... maybe not to her face, though. LOL
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Moderator
Moderator
06-29-2002
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:41 pm
Be reminded that you may not make critical comments about other posters at TVCH. Even when speaking about difficult subjects. Thank you.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 5:45 pm
Going back to the original question: Putting up two people of color on the block may not be racist but what if there was systemic bias?
Systemic bias could have been brought into the house without any one person being purposefully racist. The groups split early with people of color separated from the larger "power group".
Big Brother often has a larger representation of white people than others. This systemically favors a larger group. Sometimes in Big Brother the "power group" is primarily Caucasian. It's no fault of any one person, but because it did not start with an inclusive process, the people of color are often naturally shifted to the bottom rungs. This gives them a harder climb to be on an even scale as those who started at the top.
Not saying that happened. Just giving something to ponder...
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 6:17 pm
What I hate is that a lot (maybe most?) POC seem to assume they're going to encounter racism. This may be based on their personal life experience, or not.
This kind of feeling is, I think, what led Bay and Day to instinctively choose to sleep in adjoining beds. I've seen this type of behavior many times in "real life" when groups of people are together. It seems that the POC tend to segregate themselves, when others would gladly have them mix and mingle freely.
As one of the aforementioned "others," when I find myself in that type of situation I always make an effort to insert myself into the group that stands apart. I just wish there really was a way for EVERYONE to blend together into the great melting pot we truly should be.
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Kappy
Member
06-28-2002
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 6:37 pm
Good conversation going on here.
In one of the first episodes, as they showed a group of six who had formed an early alliance, and I assumed a pre-game alliance, I couldn't help but notice that all were white and most were blonde. I just remembering thinking how little BB has changed while the rest of the world has.
For that, I blame the producers.
As for the players, I wouldn't call them racist so much as just immature, uninformed and used to having things run their way.
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 6:50 pm
Most POC experience racism 7 days a week, 365 days a year rather it be subtle or outright so it’s not an assumption that racism will be experienced but a fact.
I’m not going to rant on this because if you are not a POC, you will never get it and you can’t.
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Govols
Member
07-18-2005
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 6:53 pm
This is what I know for me. My POC friends don't find it necessary to tell someone/themselves if they are/are not educated about the very deep and subtle nuances of racism and they are tired of the name calling as well. Why does anyone have the right to say that about someone else. We are responsible for our back yards or not our neighbors.
The blacks I know don't focus on all the things Strag spoke of. They/we focus on more positive things in life. We find it a more fulfilling life for us.
So, my question to myself is why the group of blacks I know are so different than the blacks Stag speaks of. The blacks I know are very happy people and enjoyable to be around. I love my black friends. They enrich my life.
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 6:59 pm
LOL "your" black people, Govols??
Give me that shovel, please!!
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Govols
Member
07-18-2005
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:05 pm
Oh my. Did I covertly do one of the things Strag spoke of?
Guess I better get off this thread.
Thanks for letting me share.
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:11 pm
You're gonna get yourself knifed, Govols... or a fork to your face... LOL
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:12 pm
We are responsible for our back yards or not our neighbors.
The problem here is a couple of things.
The nation IS your back yard. And this nation is plagued with systemic racism, from our police departments to our educational systems, to the simple act of qualifying for loans.
We are ALL responsible for acknowledging this and fixing it. It is our backyard.
Second, we tend to choose friends who are like ourselves, who think the same way. Thinking that all black people think alike is a kind of implicit bias as well. They don't. The POC you know are not a microcosm of all POC. Or, maybe they sense your discomfort and don't talk to you about things like this. Or maybe they were fortunate enough to grow up in a well integrated area and haven't experienced as much racism.
There's no way for us to know. And drawing conclusions about an entire system by viewing your own little section of it is like the story of the blind men describing an elephant. (Google it if you haven't heard it).
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:38 pm
Not all white people think alike either. Just needed to throw that out there because I believe part of this country’s division is built on the tendency to put everyone in categories or neat little boxes.
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Meggieprice
Member
07-09-2001
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:41 pm
There you go! I myself found myself pulling back from the phrase "the blacks".To me that exactly exemplifies the subtle issues we are discussing.
Keldogg and Strategist- I found myself agreeing with a lot of what you said.
When I beheld the pre-planned alliance I found that often when I started to post about them I called them the white frat boys and then I would stop and remove the word white because I did not want to offend anybody but honestly I was taken aback by this alliance that came in to the house with everything planned and from what I heard that included waiting a couple of weeks to avoid being accused of racism and then removing the POC from the house. If that is what happens then the information I heard will prove to be true. Maybe! That's the problem- if it happens- was it planned or did it just end up that way? We can never really know what motivates some of the things in the house.
As far as these issues go in general- I was raised by a passionate liberal democratic father and mother, was carried on my father's shoulders in civil rights marches in the 60s and would probably be offended if I was told something I said or did was racist but I found that the best thing I can do when it comes to this situation(and this is with the help of my biracial son) is shut up and listen, be educated, and hope I can learn to do better in every way.
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Meggieprice
Member
07-09-2001
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:44 pm
Karuuna I agree with you too too. I was typing my post when you posted.
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:52 pm
Well said Karuuna!!!!!
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Mom_of_three
Member
08-01-2011
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 7:59 pm
Maineiac beautifully put all people are different it doesn’t matter your race, religion or upbringing. All of us are people that’s it ❤️❤️
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, September 04, 2020 - 8:04 pm
Jadajean, I hear you. Nobody has lived even one day in your shoes. We cannot "get it" but we can do our best to try to understand, empathize, and help in any way we can.
Like Karuuna says, "We are ALL responsible for acknowledging this and fixing it." My contribution is to try to shed a light on the discrimination, racism, and systemic bias that occurs. I may not get through all the time, but I feel like we are making tiny steps of progress in Canada.
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