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“We Made It To The Merge!"
 Survivor (on CBS)
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  | Archive through November 13, 2019 | Dipo | 25 | 1 | 11-13-19 6:32 pm |
| Archive through November 13, 2019 | Dipo | 25 | 1 | 11-13-19 7:23 pm |
| Archive through November 14, 2019 | Jimmer | 25 | 1 | 11-14-19 8:07 am |
| Archive through November 14, 2019 | Kookliebird | 25 | 1 | 11-14-19 3:01 pm |
| Archive through November 15, 2019 | Strategist | 25 | 1 | 11-15-19 9:43 am |
| Archive through November 15, 2019 | Strategist | 25 | 1 | 11-15-19 1:57 pm |
| Archive through November 15, 2019 | Starr | 24 | 1 | 11-15-19 10:51 pm |
| Archive through November 17, 2019 | Pamy | 25 | 1 | 11-17-19 11:05 am |
| Archive through November 19, 2019 | Maris | 25 | 1 | 11-19-19 4:19 pm |
| Archive through November 22, 2019 | Strategist | 25 | 1 | 11-22-19 9:12 am |
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 9:24 am 
Where did I give him a pass?
Mischaracterizing is going on all over, it seems.
I have said he was WRONG to continue touching her.
We will never get anywhere with these issues if we can't be honest about them, and we can't see each other's point of view.
I have said repeatedly that she had a right to be uncomfortable and a right to tell him to stop and a right to be frustrated that he did not. That said, sometimes you have to tell folks something a few times before we get it. That's just human nature.
I also said she over-reacted (likely due to something in her history) and exaggerated. She deserves some grace, because she was obviously distraught. But she should also be called out on her exaggerations.
And certainly Dan deserves some grace as well, especially since some of the stories were completely made up. As well as being called out on his lack of sensitivity.
Fair is fair.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 11:58 am
Both deserve some grace. That was my point. I said she may have exaggerated, but he should have never tried to touch her again. I also have a problem with making up assumptions about her history.
As I said much earlier, we don't know the whole story. We certainly do not know Kellee's history nor do we know Dan's. This has been so over-hyped and over-analyzed and we have limited information about what really happened or their backgrounds.
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Chieko
Member
11-20-2003
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 12:09 pm
I sure do not enjoy seeing them humiliated by having to wear underwear
But they know they are coming on Survivor, they know they will be in their underwear, wear something appropriate, like a bathing suit.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 12:14 pm
Strategist, we agree. And I have said that she deserves grace as well, but I was concerned that you seemed to be missing that in my posts.
One of the things I found very impactful in my psych education was that if someone overreacts to something (emotionally) it's because they have something that is unhealed in their history. That's how I see Kellee and my heart goes out to her. That *explains* her exaggeration - it FELT worse to her than it was. It does not *excuse* her exaggeration.
The same goes for Dan. When he was confronted at tribal, he was very upset. It makes me wonder why. At the same time, we are creatures of habit, and NO ONE, and I repeat NO ONE of us goes through every moment being fully mindful of every single thing they do. So, if someone doesn't get it the first time, and it's not sexual (I don't think it was), you may have to remind them again. And maybe again. That doesn't make them an assaulter - it just makes them human.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 12:15 pm
Chieko, I do wonder why they don't wear bathing suits under their clothing.
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Cass_cat
Member
05-09-2011
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 2:18 pm
I have read that the TPTB dictate what they wear...
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 4:10 pm
I dont see anyone online sticking up for Dan. I feel bad for him. I honestly don't think he is a bad person. People online act like he sexually assaulted her and I dont see it.
I see that he creeped her out, she told him to stop and it appears he still touched her(editing could have messed with the timeline of things).
Now Missy and Aaron say he should have been removed from the game. I call bs on that. I think they saw how hated Dan is online and think that is what they should say to save face with their own shitty behaviour.
I think Dan is the kind of person that is liked and when someone doesnt like him he goes out of his way to try and make them like him. If the girls were telling him they dont feel he is inappropriate, what was he supposed to think?
I really feel Survivor producers are hanging Dan out to dry
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 5:07 pm
That's what I see online too, Pamy. That's why I've kept trying to post both sides here. He doesn't deserve the rap he's getting, and it's his LIFE.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Friday, November 22, 2019 - 8:19 pm
quote:I rewatched what happened on the beach.
The scene starts with Kellee and Dan walking down the beach together.
Kellee: "I probably need to wash my hair too?"
Dan touches her hair.
Kellee: "Oh god!"
Dan stops immediately and Kellee walks ahead.
Dan: "I'm sorry Kellee, I'm sorry. I was looking to see how much sand there was. My hands are clean."
Kellee: "Your hands are not clean, Dan!"
Dan: "Oh my god, I just scrubbed them in the water."
And that's where the scene ended.
Wait! What? (and sorry i didn't see this last night and comment) That is NOT where the scene ended. He came toward her hair again and she ran away from him. And he CHASED her into the ocean, grabbing for her hair! Maybe that was all playful, and she was gleefully running into the ocean being playful with him. Or they spliced scenes together. But Dan chasing Kellee into the ocean was what they showed on my television. Betcha that is what cbs.com also shows. I have not checked.
And sometime after that scene they showed Kellee crying to the producers.
I can't be the only one remembering this sequence.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Saturday, November 23, 2019 - 8:03 am
And he CHASED her into the ocean, grabbing for her hair!
Did not happen.
I think it would be helpful for you to watch again, Juju. The scene played out as I described it. I’ve probably watched it at least ten times now. She rapidly walked ahead (or ran) toward the water but he wasn’t chasing her. He was apologizing (see above).
If you can provide a clip that shows something different, I’d like to see it?
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Saturday, November 23, 2019 - 8:21 am
I remember Dan going after Kellee , after he touched her hair, as she walked rapidly to the ocean.
He stopped shortly, but he did go after her a little.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Saturday, November 23, 2019 - 8:24 am
Well they were both casually walking down the beach and chatting. She sped up and he just continued walking at the same pace.
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Saturday, November 23, 2019 - 8:50 am
After the hair touch, she turned and headed off to the water.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Saturday, November 23, 2019 - 9:19 am
Yes that’s right.
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