| Author |
Message |
Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Thursday, March 22, 2012 - 12:40 pm 
Yeah, that was funny and cute, HM.
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Sia
Member
03-10-2002
| Thursday, March 22, 2012 - 8:46 pm
I've never understood the first-cousin-once-removed thing, either! Thanks for the lesson. I live in Ohio & we're pretty informal (& incorrect) in the way we use the terms. I've always referred to my cousin's children as my second cousins, while calling my kids third cousins of my cousin's kids. It will really take some rethinking to reprogram my brain!!
I've always enjoyed the Duggars' show and really like seeing their friends with big families. Did anyone catch the show featuring the Bates family? I enjoyed that very much. They're a very musical family, as well--and like the Duggars, they have BEAUTIFUL girls!!
There was another musical family (last name begins with "R") featured once on "19 Kids & Counting," & I'd love to buy their music if they've recorded anything. Does anyone know the family's name? Thanks!
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Friday, March 23, 2012 - 6:21 am
Sorry, Sia, I too remember them but not their names.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 7:49 pm
So sad tonight.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 8:17 pm
The grave was NOT deep enough. But maybe what we saw was just for TV and they will go back and dig it deeper before actually burying her. Seeing the little boys dump shovels of dirt into the grave was heart wrenching.
Was that Amy singing at the funeral? If so, so much better than when she sang at Branson, tho that was a capella and that is hard to do for alot of people.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 8:31 pm
You're right Serate, it was nowhere near deep enough. And the little casket wasn't placed in a legitimate vault, it looked more like an army surplus box. It was touching seeing the boys help to bury their sister.
I felt like an intruder and kept asking myself why I was watching their very personal grief. I actually wish I hadn't watched it.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 8:35 pm
And the little casket wasn't placed in a legitimate vault, it looked more like an army surplus box.
That's EXACTLY what I thought. It looks like the one we have upstairs!
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 8:57 pm
What month was she in when she miscarried? I haven't watched the shows in awhile, since their European trip, but somehow I feel that they are going a little overboard. I know that sounds harsh but I have known a lot of people who had miscarriages, but no one held funerals and burials. Did this baby ever take a breath? Please don't slam me, it is just my feeling.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 9:03 pm
Maybe 16 or 17 weeks along? Can't remember. But the card by the casket said Jubilee weighed 4 oz at birth.
I think you have a perfect right to your feelings!
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Watching2
Member
07-07-2001
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 10:18 pm
I looked back and she was around 20 wks. I missed this show and 2 others tonight. I'm going to have some catching up to do!
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 10:19 pm
You have your right to your feelings Muffin, just as the Duggars have the right to theirs.
I've seen it done both ways. My aunt and uncle have done it both ways. They had 3 miscarriages before the 3 month mark and that was what they were, miscarriages. They had one at the 4 1/2 month mark, they named the baby and buried him. They had another one at the 3 month mark and treated it like a miscarriage, not a baby that died. It's a personal decision. I'm wondering if the Duggars did it this way just because there are so many small children involved and it would be easier for them to say goodbye. [The actual ceremony, not putting it on TV.] Maybe this was alsy their way of healing inside as the rents know there will be no more babies. Their choice to try or not, but I'm hoping they don't.
Technician said Jubilee measured at 16 weeks and a couple days, but Michelle said something about Janna listening to the heart beat at 17 weeks 5 days a few days before the sonogram and thought the technician's measurements meant the baby was just small for it's age.
I think it was near Christmas as there were Christmas decorations up when they rents told the kids about the baby dying.
I'm like Huk I kinda wish now I hadn't watched it. Way too personal. I was thinking tho, that since they are "famous" and have so many lovers and haters out there, they decided to film the funeral to show it their way. Not how it could be portrayed but many who never attended it.
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Watching2
Member
07-07-2001
| Tuesday, March 27, 2012 - 10:35 pm
We learned with our daughter that the technicians with the sonogram are not always correct. They're close within a few weeks, but as far as size goes, they were really far from one another. One said the baby was big and the other said she was about average. Well, that average baby was 10 lb. 5 oz. and our daughter had to have a C-section after 24 hrs of labor.
Michelle did say they hoped maybe showing what they went through and how they grieved might help someone else who was having a hard time dealing with it.
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Nan
Member
09-25-2000
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 7:34 am
I don't post alot, but wanted to say, that I know of a couple who were having triplets, and the one little girl died at about 4-5 months along, but she wasn't delivered until the other two were delivered at about 8 months. The parents had to sign a death certificate for her.
Also, a cousin of mine miscarried a little girl at about 4-5 five months, and -with permission- she was buried on top of her great grandmother, may sound "off" but they left the grandfather do the digging and they placed the coffin pretty much on top of my grandmother's vault. So not sure how the rules work.
I too felt terribly sad for them, and I do think that anyone who would be going through or had gone through a similar situation, would be helped by seeing the emotions, and just the words Michelle used were very uplifting.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 12:17 pm
So hard to watch, but I feel blessed by their allowing me to become a part of their heartbreak. This is an amazing family that I much admire.
I'm imagining burial rules vary greatly from one place to another. Since her casket was put into that metal box there wouldn't be any need for another vault.
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Frogichik
Member
06-11-2002
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 12:42 pm
I have known a lot of people who had miscarriages, but no one held funerals and burials.
My cousin had an open casket (really a basket) funeral for her 21/22 week along fetus. It was the horribly sad. Your eyes aren't prepared to see a little human that tiny and perfectly formed. Her ashes actually went into a key chain that my cousin carries around.
I was completely freaked out at the whole thing, but she had a right to do it and I had to support her. It was her daughter.
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 12:42 pm
The Duggars used to be my favorite show to watch. I always admired her calmness in raising their children, but I have come to the conclusion that the reason Michelle is so calm is that she does nothing. The older girls, cook, clean, do laundry and take care of the younger children. Even being able to sit and write 2 books shows how much involved with her children she is. With so many kids, finding time to write a letter should be a hardship.
After Michelle and Jim Bob had Josie, and seeing how sick she was, I was appalled that she would go on to have another. Are the Duggars and Bates in competition with each other. Now the Bates also have 19 children.
I know that the children are home-schooled, yet she spent months away from them when Josie was born. Obviously the older girls took on this role, as they do with anything else in regards to being a parent, which they are not.
They pride themselves on being able to provide for their family, without any monetary support from others, yet I am sure they are making a lot of money from their television show and their speaking engagements.
I am finding that watching their show is like watching a cult in action.
They are very fortunate that all their children are healthy, although, we don't know yet if Josie will have problems as she ages.
When my children were the ages of hers, I was barely able to find a few days to go away, yet, Michelle spent months away with Josie at the hospital. If it wasn't for her older daughters, how would this family manage. There didn't seem to be any problems within the family while Michelle was away. Jim Bob does more than she does. She produces babies, breast feeds them, and then she gets ready for the next pregnancy!
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Chieko
Member
11-20-2003
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 1:08 pm
I don't think I understand the attitude that children shouldn't help within the family. Both of my parents worked when stay at home Moms were more the norm. I watched my younger brothers after school, made snacks for them, did laundry, ironing, did dishes after supper, helped clean the house, and I still had time for my homework, dating (I was allowed), high school activities, babysitting in the evenings for other families, ect. I think the Duggar boys do quite a lot for the family also, involving real estate maintenance, property upkeep, ect, plus their own interests. The family children don't seem abused to me but just taught a strong work ethic as all children should.
It may appear the older girls do a lot but before they were older Michelle had complete rein over her young brood and seems to have gotten along fine.
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Misspoufy
Member
09-30-2004
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 2:23 pm
I think we need to remember that we only see short peeks into their lives in very tiny doses. What we see that looks like all one day may be a month's worth of filming. We shouldn't make a judgment that Michelle does nothing based on the fact that she's written a couple of books, or that they speak at seminars.
Imagine someone filming your life for a television show, wouldn't they show the things they think interesting? Wouldn't they choose things you do that promote their own interests? The show wouldn't be much to watch if all they showed was Michelle homeschooling, doing the laundry and dishes, etc. I doubt anyone would watch a show like that.
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Tntitanfan
Member
08-03-2001
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 3:40 pm
I am not a watcher of the show, but Chieko brings up a very good point above that I have wondered why no one has written about before. I don't know how spread apart the ages of the the older children are, but I would guess that at one time Michelle had SEVERAL children under the age of six or seven. There were, of course, no older siblings!
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 4:31 pm
Last night I especially noticed the closeups of Michelle hands and was thinking to myself that those are the hands of a very hard-working woman...very work worn.
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Cjr
Member
08-10-2002
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 6:13 pm
I noticed Michelle's hands too. I also thought those hands have not been idle. I believe that these parents truly believe each of the children are gifts from God and the kids seem to feel that way about each other also. From oldest to youngest, the kids show such caring for each other and that is why I love watching this family. It broke my heart to see how much Jubilee was wanted and going to be missed.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 8:35 pm
I know that the children are home-schooled, yet she spent months away from them when Josie was born. Obviously the older girls took on this role, as they do with anything else in regards to being a parent, which they are not.
When my children were the ages of hers, I was barely able to find a few days to go away, yet, Michelle spent months away with Josie at the hospital. If it wasn't for her older daughters, how would this family manage.
When a tragedy strikes, you do what you have to do. Family and friends step in to help. Not all things are done the same as you have to make decisions and set priorities. Michelle actually had the "luxury" of having older children to help with the younger children. Not everybody can do that. I remember spending 6 - 7 hours a day at my neighbors' house in the evening & on weekends watching their school aged kids every night for 5 weeks so mom and dad could spend time in the hospital with the oldest child who had been in an accident. I was only 14 and they weren't my siblings. But mom and dad needed to be with oldest, especially the first week or so when he was in critical condition. I'm not sure the kids even saw their mom the first 4 days but their dad and I and my parents, and other neighbors were there to reassure them that mommy loved them but was taking care of big brother.
Besides, while Michelle WAS away from their home for months, so were the majority of the kids & Jim Bob who came to Little Rock to stay in a house to be close to Michelle and Josie.
It doesn't matter if you have 2 kids or 20 kids. Sometimes when tragedy strikes you have to make priorities. A pre-term baby who is predicted NOT to live is a pretty high priority in my book. Michelle loves ALL her kids.
I challenge anybody to try to figure out what they would have done if you had 1 or more kids at home, and then had a baby in the condition of Josie. Would you leave that baby alone in the hospital just because you had other kids at home? I really doubt it.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Thursday, March 29, 2012 - 6:27 am
The Ronald McDonald houses around the country are a blessing to some of these folks with very ill children in the hospital.
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Wendy1rn
Member
06-06-2011
| Thursday, March 29, 2012 - 6:42 am
I don't understand how some people can be SO critical and negative (ie. Muffin's post) If the Duggar family appalls you that much, WHY watch the show??? Leave the show for people who can really appreciate good hard-working and honest people.
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Thursday, March 29, 2012 - 7:07 am
I think that what I have written above is being taken to an extreme. Obviously a sick or injured child is more important, I'm not saying they aren't, what I was trying to point out was that there was no change in the motherless household for a very long period, because the older daughters were already doing their jobs, those chores, before Michelle had Josie. They were very used to preparing the meals, cleaning up, taking care of the younger children, and doing laundry with the grandmother. Nothing changed even with Michelle away so long. They managed just fine, kudos to them, but this also showed me that they are very capable girls because this was just part of their REGULAR EVERY DAY routine.
Even when Jim Bob has taken the older ones somewhere there is always one older daughter left at home to help Michelle.
Neither Michelle nor Jim Bob grew up being so isolated. They went to regular schools, parties and were allowed to date. The children's only social contacts are with other large families and church and charity functions, as a family. All the boys sleep in one room and all the girls sleep in another room. The house is enormous and beautiful, but there is no privacy at all for the kids.
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