| Author |
Message |
Tntitanfan
Member
08-02-2001
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 7:19 am 
Is it fair to other people that you LET er act like she does? Very few people actually enjoy being confrontational, BUT, on the other hand, it is abundantly clear that this gal KNOWS she can control you by being unpleasant when you confront her. Parents face this dilemma often, and she sounds like a cranky two-year-old to me. You have taught her that she can control YOU by being unpleasant!!!
|
Colordeagua
Member
10-24-2003
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 7:44 am
In writing, on paper, dated. NTB must sign it. No exceptions to what is on paper.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 8:20 am
Wow.. That is just too much, her intrusion into the meet n greet! Until you can get her out, maybe meet in the basement or even your room until weather allows meetups outside?
That would be great to get more Sonic people known to MsSonic!
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 8:23 am
RN The Siberian Husky just got dropped off. It's here until the 27th. Her name is D.Va (pronounced Diva). She's a little growly right now, but that will go away.
An I know you all are absolutely right. It's the initial conversation to get the ball rolling I am having trouble trying to work out.
I'll will get it done.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 8:28 am
I would add on paper, in writing and use a Notary to verify..
And talk to experienced landlords in your area about what you need to do in your city, county, state so that you can serve papers in time to evict formally and actually have the power to put her and her stuff out legally if it comes to that, and then change that lock again.
I have seen people get experienced advice (along with random opinions) on NextDoor here.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 8:29 am
Hope the husky fits in. When do the pits return?
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 9:04 am
RN Pits are here all day Sunday. I'll be keeping them separate from the Husky. I wouldn't dare even chance putting another clients dog with them.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 10:54 am
Yeah, that is smart. And the pits still have each other for company.
|
Tntitanfan
Member
08-02-2001
| Thursday, January 18, 2024 - 1:14 pm
Believe me,we are all truly on your side! BUT we can't do anything to help you - you HAVE to do it yourself. EVERY time you back down ( or ignore an infraction,) it strengthens her bad behavior. This is me speaking in my Mental Health Professional voice. My specialty is Behavior Modification, i.e. getting rid of bad (socially unacceptable) behaviors. I suspect she is way too wily to ever get physical, but if it does ever happen, call the police! That is NOT a second chance behavior!!!
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Friday, January 19, 2024 - 2:38 am
RN Tnt, I totally understand and agree with you. I'm being a pushover and letting someone play me. I will get things fixed.
|
Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Friday, January 19, 2024 - 3:16 am
When you hand her the written notice, make sure the NORMAL tenant is with you. She'll be a witness to the transaction, and you'll be safer. And less chance the nutbar will go off the rails on you.
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 5:26 am
Here are my thoughts on the situation. While I mostly agree with Tnt, I don't think it's possible for anybody to change NTB's behavior, so don't waste your breath. Just keep doing what your doing with her since she will be gone soon. Her issues are mental health.
And this is what I would do.
1. In regards to NTB, I would constantly repeat to myself the following mantra. "Not my problem". Especially when she tries manipulating you.
2. When you finally approach her about her moving out, don't ask her any questions. It gives her an opening to wheedle, manipulate and whatever to stay. If you ask her about the Missouri thing (is that where she said she was going?) She will either say that she never said that, or that it fell through, so she needs more time to find a place. Remember, it's not your problem, so don't give her any openings by asking questions. You can only do that with "normal" people.
3. Now, this is how I would handle it. Lie.
I would pick a date that would that would give her enough time to digest the news and start looking, but at the same time, give you the least amount of time to have to deal with whatever she's going to dish out. I would lie to her and tell her that you are so excited that you have a family member (pick one) moving into her room the day after she leaves on such and such date. It's all planned out. It will make it so much harder for her to argue that she should stay over family than a stranger or friend.
4. I agree that you should have somebody there to witness this. If you can, have a friend there instead of Ms. sonic. It's not Ms Sonic's problem, and she doesn't need to be involved if she doesn't have to be. But, if you can't find somebody else, Ms. Sonic will have to do.
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't tell you to lie, but she is not normal, and you don't need the extra stress. And my perspective is from friends and family who have rented out rooms and had difficulties getting rid of unwanted tenants.
However you decide to handle it, just remember that whatever she tells you, It's not your problem.
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 6:40 am
RN I did it! And I recorded the whole thing! I am wondering if I can share it? I looked up Missouri law and it says
"Missouri is a one-party consent state, meaning you only need the permission of one person involved in the conversation to record it. If you’re participating in the conversation, you can count yourself as the consenting party."
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 6:56 am
RN I want to explain why I had my courage today to tell the Nun I wanted her to move. Well, 50% from you guys pushing me, and what pushed me over the edge is I got up at about 6 AM. About 6:30 AM her alarm clock and phone start ringing. And they rang and rang for 8 HOURS as she slept in until 2PM ignoring it! My nerves were/are frazzled! So I was already primed when she finally got up.
I won't really remember until I listen to the recordings what exactly happened that made me do it at that particular second, but we'll see.
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 6:56 am
Forget that! (For the moment.)
How did it go?!?
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 6:57 am
We posted at the same time. Lol!
Thanks for the explanation. And congrats!
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:04 am
RN She started in about how bad the weather is and she can't move, but somehow I got through that. She started in about he's she's used to being persecuted, I made it through that one as well. She tried a few tactics but I can't remember. Crap, she's out here again with her crap
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:07 am
RN, hang in there Naja. Just focus on how relieved you will be when she is gone.
Here's another tip - with someone irrational, don't debate them! Don't explain, try to reason, discuss, anything.
Just find a simple phrase to repeat, like "I'm sorry, the decision has been made." See? No explanation, just a simple statement of fact.
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:09 am
RN She left. I have to hear what I recorded.
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:13 am
Remember, It's not your problem.
And if she keeps giving you grief, you can always remind her that you can aways move the move out date up a month.
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:19 am
While she's gone, go find out which circuit breaker goes to her room and switch it off the next time her alarm goes off for hours.
|
Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:21 am
Be consistent. Don’t fluctuate or make any changes. As soon as she sees an opening, she will exploit it. So, hold your ground with no changes. Do what Kar says, as that is very good advice.
|
Sugar
Member
08-15-2000
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:22 am
RN, well done Naja!
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:33 am
RN Thanks!
Crap, she's home again. Father must not have been there to console her today.
I only heard a little of the audio so far, and even though it's only audio, I can see myself working up my nerve. LOL
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Saturday, January 20, 2024 - 7:35 am
One more thought. After things cool down, consider texting her important things you tell her. Things like: per our conversation yesterday. Your move out date is such and such. Your rent was due today, where is it? Etc. But, I know you get the idea and will have a much nicer way of wording these things and make it seamless. Firm but not mean.
I'm just suggesting this as a way for you to have proof that you said these things to her. Judge Judy loved text messages in her cases. 
|
|
