| Author |
Message |
Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 10:18 am 
That would be my thought as well. In these situations, where the facts don't really matter, it's more important for people to be happy than to be correct.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 10:53 am
Exactly, but it takes people awhile to get to the point of not trying to correct someone with dementia.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 11:22 am
I've actually even been trying to do something similar in circumstances where the person doesn't have dementia. For example, if someone is telling a story and gets some irrelevant detail wrong, I kind of bite my tongue and just let it go. It just doesn't matter. 
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 11:47 am
I have been know to forget terms like 'spatula' when asking for something.
Isn't that why we have the word 'thingamajig'?
I aced drawing the clock, though.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 1:09 pm
It is recommended now to not correct but redirect.. Otherwise they have to learn of a death over and over.
Jimmer, it was not vague that Rebecca was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. Those were classic tests. I have taken them. My doctor says the clock seems to be a key sign, when it is difficult.
She may fear forgetting Jack, but she is more likely to forget recent memories and people first. She would possibly forget being married to Miguel before forgetting Jack.
The doctor mentioned bloodwork and an MRI.
They could also consider a brain PET scan for amyloid plaques. And spinal tap.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 1:17 pm
The actress for the married character in her hall pass was Sophia Bush.
I think since there were only 3 or 4 months between Thanksgiving and the 40th birthday that a lot transpired in that gap.. Kevin has a pregnant fiancee (likely Sophie, given the text), Rebecca has more impairment, but the family now estranged from Randall and possibly in denial, so they let Rebecca get into another scary lost situation..
That ending or preview was terrifying! And indeed could be a hallucination.
I actually hope it was, though that would also be a bad situation for Randall.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 1:24 pm
Jimmer, that is wise and I need to do that more.. Let incorrect details go when it is not important.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 1:47 pm
I have been know to forget terms like 'spatula' when asking for something.
Thank you, Dogdoc!!! This happens to me more and more frequently, especially with people's names. It terrifies me. I remember it eventually, but it's frightening to not be able to pull up the name of something when you're talking to someone.
I went through the diagnosis and much subsequent testing with my mom also. She went from being able to do most parts of the test, to not being able to do any of it. She no longer recognizes my brother or myself. She refers to my dad as "my dear husband." When I asked her a couple of months ago if she remembers his name, she couldn't. They were married 42 years and he was the love of her life.
When she fell and broke her hip three years ago, I went to the hospital to be with her in the ER. She said she didn't think her parents could come, cause her daddy was at work and her mama was at home with the babies. Her mother has been dead over 20 years and her dad died when she was a little girl. It broke my heart. When her youngest brother died three years ago, I never told her. Why make her sad when she wouldn't remember anyway? People with dementia remember their younger years much longer than more recent memories. The oldest memories are the deepest.
I was taking care of some business for my mom at the bank a few months ago. The banker told me about a client with dementia whose first husband passed away and she remarried. When she got dementia, she told him, "You know, my husband passed away. But there's this new guy who comes in and he's really nice to me." She didn't know he was also her husband. Just that he was nice.
At this point the most important thing is that my mom is comfortable and happy. She's in hospice care now. They take good care of her. I do miss being able to call her on the phone though. And talking to her about family memories. It's all gone.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 4:47 pm
I kept dropping things yesterday and I couldnt for the life of me remember the word Butterfingers!!
Im so afraid Im losing my memory. I find myself saying I forget/I forgot a few times a day now  it is my greatest fear
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 4:50 pm
my mom died before my grandma and we told her my mom died and she understood it at the time but the next week when I called her she called me by my moms name. My mom and I sounded alike on the phone, no one could tell us apart.
that 1st week I said no Grandma it's Pamy, and then she just talked to me. every week after when she called me my mom's name I just talked to her like I was my mom. Hardest thing because i would talk to her fighting tears because I missed my mom so much.
My parents died young but my mom's mom lived to 103 but had dementia for over 10 yrs. I pray I dont get it
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Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 6:06 pm
When my mother in law was first diagnosed, she was pretty much at Rebecca’s stage. Sadly she suffered for 7 years, the last 4 pretty much non responsive to anything but touch. (She had nothing physically wrong with her ). When she was still cognizant, she went through a period where she thought her son was her husband. It was very disconcerting to watch her flirt with him! My kids always started their conversations ‘hey grandma, it’s and gave their name’ so they didn’t really face her actually not knowing them. She went non verbal before she let on that she didn’t know you.
My dad was different, he struggled a lot with old memories. He also never really clued into who his great grandson was (born 2-18-2019). But when you prompted him he would remember. And loved to interact with him. He could tell stories of his childhood with a whole lot of prompting. He never forgot me. Thankfully, he also got leukemia 2 years after his diagnosis, and that took him 2 years later this past November.
It’s a horrible disease and this season is really going to be hard for me to watch.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 9:31 am
Yes, every once in awhile, my dad thought I was my mom, but, thank goodness, he never flirted with me. Toward the end, he said she was sitting in a chair across from him almost every time I visited. So, I never sat in that chair to allow him to 'see' her. They seem to be hitting all the buttons with us.
I am thinking that the writers of This Is Us must have experienced family members with Dementia or Alzheimer's, since they are evoking all this discussion here about our experiences with the disease.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 1:29 pm
So many of us these days have family members who've had dementia or Alzheimer's (Alzheimer's is only one of many forms of dementia). People are living much longer than they used to. It seems like either your body or your brain gives out. I've had relatives who were sharp mentally, but weak physically. My mom was pretty strong physically, until she fell and broke her hip three years ago.
My mom has told me her mother stopped by and brought her some fresh bread. I thought that was a sweet memory and didn't correct her. She thinks she goes to college and her roommate (or her roommate's boyfriend) "just dropped her off." She lives in a happy place.
This season is not so much hard for me to watch, but it evokes feelings of what we've been through and are still experiencing. I would say it's more cathartic than difficult. It's validating to see your experience fictionalized (whether in a book or a TV show/movie).
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 1:59 pm
I visited a friend of my mother's for years who was in a nursing home.
She was highly intelligent but dementia took over.
One day I stopped by the nursing home.
She was sitting up in bed. I asked her how she was doing. She said "Terrible. I fell and have a broken back and they won't call a doctor for me"!
I asked her where she fell. She couldn't remember. It was obvious she didn't have a broken back, she was sitting comfortably on her bed.
Later in the afternoon I got a phone call from one of her old friends. She was worried because she had talked to this friend and she told about her broken back.
They can really sound convincing. I am glad I had seen her in person that day.
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Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 3:37 pm
My mother in law thought my daughter a sorority sister of hers.
And Manuel explaining to Randall his side after Randalls chastised him for not doing something broke my heart.
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Jenjackso
Member
02-10-2009
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 4:10 pm
They also need to check her for a UTI. It's scary but an advanced UTI can cause the symptoms of cognitive loss. We know the future on this one but if your aging parent is starting to show those signs, one of the first checks should be for a UTI.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 4:51 pm
Jimmer, I had to tell her because she wanted to call her and she was getting very agitated with me because she couldn't. I didn't know what else to do. Maybe it could have been different but at the time, I was at a loss. I had many times where I would make up things to answer questions she had but when she was angry and agitated, there was not a lot I could do.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 5:32 pm
It’s such a difficult and sad situation to be in.
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Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 8:14 pm
Jenjackso, so true. My MIL was functional and interactive for the most point, then she got a UTI...that was the beginning of the end.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Friday, January 17, 2020 - 8:42 pm
I think Randall is a problem solver and he saw this as a problem to solve. Miguel saw the changes in Rebecca, but also had to live with the impending loss.
And Randall's siblings were too wrapped up in their own drama to notice.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Saturday, January 18, 2020 - 9:07 am
Jenjackso, I got to know exactly when my mom had one and the doctor gave me meds to have on hand. She would get extremely mean and calming her down was not an option. UTIs are very common in the elderly.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-24-2003
| Saturday, January 18, 2020 - 2:50 pm
Had to take my older neighbor to emergency one night. Terrible back pain IIRC. This was years ago. Said she was examined and doctor / nurse was talking about UTI. Neighbor wasn't happy -- I have back pain, not . . . . I (and she?) later learned can be due to UTI.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Saturday, January 18, 2020 - 10:32 pm
UTI is definitely a first thing to check in many cases. And this can be done easily, quickly and inexpensively.
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Wednesday, January 22, 2020 - 9:15 am
I wasn't sure that I cared for this episode, until the end when Randall called Kevin and started crying telling him about the break in. Then, seeing Kevin walk into the living room, scared like young Randall was, to talk to Jack brought it together. From the previews, it seems that Kevin has similar issues from when he was young. Kevin drank.... Randall has anxiety issues.
There's the part they showed where 'something happened to Kate' that must be her showcase episode.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Wednesday, January 22, 2020 - 12:58 pm
I absolutely loved it when they showed Randall's relationship with his biological father. William was an awesome character. Those were some of the best scenes and episodes of the entire series. However, I'm sorry to say that I don't find the rest of Randall's story as interesting. He just seems to be a really nice intelligent person who has suffered some serious emotional issues that were aggravated by the untimely tragic loss of his Dad.
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