| Author |
Message |
Mimi
Member
04-30-2009
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 10:18 am 
We do not know if Dan had creeped out the production assistant prior to the boat incident or creeped out other crew. He may have touched others.
I am curious to know who the other player was that witnessed it.
Ark I'm with you.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 10:28 am
Someone I've known for a couple of weeks needs to stay out of my personal space.
How about someone that you've lived with and slept next to for a couple of weeks?
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 11:13 am
Thanks for calling me weird, Ark. 
The point is that people have different sensibilities about personal space. Should I call you "weird" because you are so different than I?
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 12:14 pm
The U.S. (and Canada) are culturally diverse nations and people need to respect that not everyone will act the same way or have the same beliefs and give those with beliefs different from them, the same grace they in turn expect to receive.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 12:27 pm
It's pretty easy to surmise what happened. Kellee goes to the producers and complains about Dan. Survivor is a visual show that purportedly is not staged and shows reality and follows the contestants on a continuous basis. So they need some visual examples to show the viewers. They comb through their mountains of footage and the most egregious thing they can find is the Dan and Kellee beach scene where Kellee asks Dan about her dirty hair and Dan then briefly touches it and then apologizes.
Then Dan is accused again and, once again, Survivor has no recording of the incident. In fact, in their supposed hundreds of hours of recording, Survivor has pretty much nothing. At this point, Survivor is looking pretty incompetent to me.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 12:35 pm
Somewhere between affection and archery (I don't see it as binary), I guess I prefer what many people learn to do and just ask.
You have some lint, do you mind if I remove it?
The tag on your t-shirt is out, Is it okay if I tuck it in?
I have been asked similar things and have asked.. Just a habit from cultural differences trainings from volunteering (hospice, domestic violence, sexual assault, American Cancer Society).
Oddly enough, even volunteer training at the animal care center stressed respect for how different cats handle touch, and not reading them correctly cat get you scratched or bitten!I
...
As for the sleeping in close proximity (and the scanty attire), that is all forced on them by production and not the same as someone in regular life.
You can sleep close to someone without getting handsy.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 1:17 pm
Sea, I agree with asking, but for some of us old dogs, it's hard to learn new tricks. And I'm about as forgetful as I can be.
That's why I hope, in all these instances, where it clearly isn't some kind of perverse assault, grace is given. Even if you have asked before.
So there's MY ASK. Don't jump to conclusions, or think I'm weird because I have a different sensibility about touching in a kindly fashion, and don't get mad at me if in the dozens of people I interact with every day, I forget YOUR particular preference.
It's not meant to be rude, or obnoxious. It's just human
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 1:49 pm
Ack! With all my complaining, I think I have tucked in tags that are sticking out from the collar of the person in front of me. (Without asking) 
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Monday, December 16, 2019 - 1:58 pm
LOL Dogdoc! I appreciate your sincerity in the way you respond to issues.
(I'm not implying that anyone else is insincere, of course.)
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 7:33 am
Anybody is welcome to tuck in my tags - part of the problem of living alone is sometimes you don't always catch the small stuff! Please also tell me if I'm wearing anything inside out or if my shoes don't match (yes, it has happened).
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 8:04 am
I’ve always appreciated someone being helpful in a kind way.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 11:45 am
Hahahahahaha Roxip, when I was working I had a bunch of the same pumps but different colors. One day, at the end of the day, I noticed I had on a black one and a navy one... no one told me, LOL.
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Queenfish
Member
07-19-2006
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 2:46 pm
All i know about the whole situation is that if I have already asked you to keep your hands off of me,,,and you continue to do it, then I would have been the one kicked out of the game, and you would be someone who pulled back a nub, instead of a finger.
That being said,,,I'm hearing that Dan is actually affiliated with CBS, in his work and has had contracts with them in the past,,so how is it, he actually became a contestant?
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 2:52 pm
Hopefully, you're exaggerating because you would be charged with assault.
This makes me think of street altercations where two people get into a fistfight or worse a gunfight and when asked what happened one of them says, "Well we were walking in opposite directions and he brushed up against me!"
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Queenfish
Member
07-19-2006
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 3:07 pm
geez....exaggeration,,not exactly,,,joke,yes, totally, just trying to lighten the room,,,however, while i may not have cut his finger off (because I'm smart enough to understand what assault is) there would be piercing words. I will try to remember to just keep my funny haha's to myself I guess
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 3:13 pm
I thought you were being funny. It's hard to tell sometimes when reading text. 
I was quite serious though about street altercations. It's amazing how something seemingly insignificant can precipitate a huge reaction.
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Ark
Member
07-09-2001
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 5:17 pm
Karunna, there is absolutely no doubt that I am weird. I'm sorry I offended you. I should have said that I would find the behavior weird. Jimmer, yes I've had roommates and I didn't want any of them in my personal space within a matter of weeks.
Kellee says that Dan issued an apology today but I can't find it. Anyone?
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Ark
Member
07-09-2001
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 5:22 pm
Nevermind, I found it.
https://people.com/tv/survivors-dan-spilo-breaks-silence-on-his-behavior-on-the-show-i-am-deeply-sorry/
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 5:34 pm
It's okay, Ark. No worries. We're all a little weird. It just seemed like you thought that kind of behavior was more weird than others - and frankly, to some us it's surprising that people don't like to be touched.
So, I guess *I* wouldn't use the word "weird" in this matter. Different. And different is okay.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 7:40 pm
Different is a good I think.
I am surprised that it would be surprising to hear that many people (or any people, or group of people) dislike being touched.
But Vive La Difference.
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Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 7:45 pm
wow I hadn't heard he was possibly connected to CBS, interesting
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 8:10 pm
I cannot find anything indicating a connection prior to Survivor.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, December 17, 2019 - 8:30 pm
I am surprised that it would be surprising to hear that many people (or any people, or group of people) dislike being touched.
Given that touch is a biological necessity for survival, I am surprised.
We didn't learn anything from the study on monkeys so long ago? How abnormal they became in the absence of touch?
We are not that different. Touch (in caring ways) is not only healthy, but necessary.
And study after study on cancer patient shows that touch prolongs life.
So, why surprised?
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Ark
Member
07-09-2001
| Wednesday, December 18, 2019 - 1:09 am
I get why Elizabeth wouldn’t want to go to the reunion, I wouldn’t either if I got death threats but why wouldn’t Jack go?
https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/survivor-39-which-jury-members-reportedly-declined-to-attend-the-reunion.html/
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Wednesday, December 18, 2019 - 7:15 am
Dipo - same thing happened to me.
I'm weird about touch. In some situations I'm a big toucher, but it all depends on whom I am with. There are some people from whom I shy away from - there's just something off-putting to me about them, and some others I am very comfortable with. It's also a lot about how they smell. I have a sweet friend whom I love dearly but her husband smokes like a fiend and I hate it when she tries to hug me because I immediately get a headache because of the smoke smell, so now I don't hug anyone in my church choir (which is where I see her) because I have had to tell her that I prefer not to be hugged.
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