| Author |
Message |
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Wednesday, September 02, 2015 - 6:22 pm 
Maybe he's getting private rehab from Gothard......he lives near Rockford.
Oops, sorry. I said I wouldn't post here again. 😜
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Friday, September 11, 2015 - 2:56 pm
This summer hasn't been kind to the Duggar clan.
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2015/09/09/arkansas-voters-reject-the-hateful-duggars-approve-lgbt-anti-discrimination-law/
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2015 - 3:34 pm
I'm not dumping on the Duggars but that is nice news.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2015 - 3:47 pm
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2015/09/08/fans-turn-on-deadbeat-duggars-as-they-discover-they-are-being-scammed-for-money-images/
I wondered when some donors would wake up..
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Marameko
Member
07-14-2002
| Friday, September 11, 2015 - 5:29 pm
I had no idea $$ was being solicited. Too say that I have had enough of the Duggars is an understatement and I never watched their show for more than 15 minutes......Nevertheless their they are on tv, the Internet , magazines, newspapers. Just like toilet paper stuck to your darn shoe.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Friday, September 11, 2015 - 6:58 pm
Maramko, I very much enjoyed reading your post.
I wasn't as lucky as you. I watched many many hours of their show. Always thought they acted creepy although I didn't exactly know how sexually creepy certain family members were. But not surprised when the masks were unveiled.
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 10:35 am
Lil, I also watched all their shows up until Josie was born and out of the hospital. I realized at that point that Michelle did very little in the house. What parent can leave their house for months on end, with all those kids, and that house ran smoothly. When I went away and left 3 kids at home, I spent hours preparing lists before I left. She didn't cook, clean, take care of the kids herself. Their homeschooling must have continued without her. Every responsibility in that house were on the older children. Children raising children.
Michelle's role was to be a baby maker and to breastfeed and then move on to the next one.
I did not know their religious views except that they were religious. I just found that something was way off with that family. The kids did everything they were told to do without an argument or a face........I never saw such obedient kids in my life.
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Sadiesmom
Member
03-13-2002
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 11:03 am
google blanket training, and you will see how these kids had the spirit beaten out of them since before they could walk.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 12:08 pm
Muffin, your assessment of Michelle is right on target...I see her usefulness the same as you. <99>
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 12:44 pm
Sadie, I just read the articles on blanket training. I have never heard of it before. All i can say it "WOW". Their obedience makes perfect sense to me now. I really feel sorry for all the Duggar children. The public should know more about the Duggar philosophies - I hope their children don't blanket train their own children.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 1:21 pm
There are many kinds of blanket training. Unless you know what specific techniques Mrs. Duggar used, we can't comment effectively.
The one in her blog is authoritarian, but it says nothing about hitting the child, as many other advocates of blanket training do.
As often happens, we don't have all the facts.
In many cases, it's no different than teaching your child to play by themselves in a playpen or crib. It's a good skill for children to learn, done correctly and with empathy.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 1:54 pm
Doesn't a playpen or crib use a physical barrier to keep the child safe, whereas blanket training uses fear to restrain the child?
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 2:04 pm
Let's see - leave a child alone in the crib or playpen without interaction and ignore their crying/screaming until they give up. From my point of view, that's abusive/harmful. Some will say that it teaches a child that they won't always get their way. The professionals I associate with say it gives a child abandonment fears. It really depends on the child/method.
Or blanket training, which can be done with a mother sitting quietly with her child and being the physical barrier herself, and gently bringing the child back to the blanket when they try to leave. Saying quietly, no, you need to stay here. And carefully observing the child to adapt to the child's needs. You can start out with as little as 30 seconds, and gradually increase as the child learns to be calm.
Or as some advocate, you can do everything from a tiny pinch to a full on smack to discourage moving away. I don't advocate this. I have no problem with the first method.
The point is, EITHER method can be used empathically or be abusive. It depends on how you do it.
Ultimately, it is a good thing to teach a child self control. Whatever method you use, it just needs to be done with empathy and kindness and no violence. IMO.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 2:32 pm
Ewwww even the thought of blanket training sends shivers throughout my maternal being. But if people are ok with it so be it. If the duggars promote it I'm running in the opposite direction. And if "I'm so curious about vaginas and breast that I fondle my sisters" Josh, is for it I definitely would run from blanket training. Ewwwwwww.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:01 pm
http://whynottrainachild.com/2013/07/08/duggars-pearls/
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/
We know the kids were hit with a rod because that is in the police report from when the kids were interviewed after Josh's molestation of his sisters and one other.
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:08 pm
I agree Lilfair. I raised 3 children. I only put them into the playpen for safety purposes if I had to step out of the room for a second. If they were unhappy in it, I took them out. It was never meant to be used as a punishment or to teach them something. I never had to hit my children to stop them from playing with something that they shouldn't have. I would gently remove them from something and substitute a toy in place of it. They learned not to touch with love.
Putting babies on blankets and hitting them to behave it just plain wrong. Yes, we don't know how the Duggars might have done it, with love or with hitting, but when you see 19 children in a family, always smiling and never talking back to their parents or acting out, then I believe they were taught with toughness and fear.
That is my opinion and I am sticking to it.
I also baby proofed my house when my children were small and then when I had grandchildren I did the same. Eventually they all learned. It might have taken longer to teach them than blanket training as it has been described, but children are fast learners.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:15 pm
Yes, we know the children were hit with a rod when they were older. We don't know if they were hit during 'blanket training'. It says nothing about that where she explains blanket training on her blog.
It's a good thing to help children learn to entertain themselves for age-appropriate short periods of time. And it's a good thing to teach them to sit and play quietly... for dinners out etc.
And again, I don't advocate ANY kind of violence, at all. Period. That doesn't mean you can't be firm at times.
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:29 pm
How old do children need to be to be hit with a rod???
That in itself makes me sick.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:33 pm
Muffin, as I said, I do not advocate violence of any kind, ever. Period. At any age.
I'm just stating the actual evidence we have of what the Duggars did, not relying on conjecture and imagination. 
I never hit my DS. Not even a little slap or a pinch. And he's a great, and very responsible kid.
I did teach him to play by himself at times. But not until he was a bit older and could understand my words. Then I'd set a timer and say I have to do xyz for five minutes (or whatever), and then we can play. I refused to just park him in front of the tv. I wanted him to learn that it was okay to be by yourself at times, and use your imagination.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:46 pm
My minds imagination and my conjecture believes if a family uses a rod to hit their children...well....that blanket training in that house ain't no picnic For the little ones. Just my mind at work. .
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 3:55 pm
And you can think whatever you like. That's your right.
But I prefer to work with actual facts. That's how I am.
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Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 4:01 pm
Karuuna, I believe what you are saying in regards to your son.
I don't doubt you for a minute as far as being a parent.
I personally always found, with my children and my grandchildren, that once they could understand what I was saying, "why" what they are doing is wrong - be it hurting another child, yelling, touching certain things or trying to talk back it was often accepted by them.
When my children were very young, Sesame Street had just started and they did love Captain Kangaroo. We didn't have recorders or video machines nor were there tapes to buy. I couldn't just put them in front of the tv. I loved Sesame Street and I would do the numbers and letters with them and sang all the songs together.
The Duggars don't believe in TV. She had so many children, one after the other, she didn't have time to spend with each child, maybe that is why she used a rod. I believe it was nearly impossible to give quality time to each of her children.
She doesn't need to state that in her blog for me to realize that. But a rod?
Furthermore the Duggars have changed their blogs at times. Even Josh's statement that he was addicted to porn was removed from his statement on their website. They are not truthful people.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 4:09 pm
Well again, all of that is just conjecture again. Which you have a right to.
My only beef is that sometimes people state what is clearly conjecture/best guessing as "fact." And there is a difference. That's how this convo started, and why I entered it.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 5:27 pm
The fact that they hit them with a rod isn't conjecture. Is it?
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 12, 2015 - 5:55 pm
Never said it was. It was in the police report. In fact, I said we know they were hit with a rod.
But as I noted then, it was with older children, not during that crawling/blanket training stage.
The initial comment that I responded to was to "google blanket training and you'll see how they had the spirit beaten out of them before they could walk."
It came across as if the poster were stating a fact, but it's clearly opinion.
Those are the facts we have. Again, my only point in interjecting is that we simply don't know THAT statement to be true. We have no evidence. Just because some people use physical measures with blanket training doesn't mean the Duggars did. Her blog describing it does not say anything about disciplining the child.
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