| Author |
Message |
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, June 07, 2015 - 4:42 pm 
I wouldn't be so sure they are questioning things because of all this. In my group practice, we always had a saying - "common enemies bind". That means the family will more likely grow stronger as a unit against the perceived attacks from the outside.
So, maybe at some future date, if some have some unresolved issues we'll see them. But for now, I think they are going to see their family as under attack and be less likely to be objective, or take a different point of view.
|
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Sunday, June 07, 2015 - 7:01 pm
I was under the impression that homeschooling had to follow a curriculum and be able to pass statewide exams. Apparently the homeschooling that the Duggars gave their children have very little to do with Math, Science, , Geography, History, etc.
these kids could not make it if they went into a regular school tomorrow. What a disgrace to bring your children up like that!
I also read what their psychological counseling is all about and for all the professional psychologists here, it is nothing that you were taught!!!
It should be illegal to not have your children schooled, at home or at a physical building (school) by not following a set curriculum.
I'm sad for these children who will never have jobs in the regular workforce.
Unfortunately I don't know how to bring the link over here. I can email it to someone to post, but I can't seem to figure out how to do it.
They are backwards people, have not had a proper education and will always believe what their parents tell them to. I can't believe I watched this show for a few years and never knew all of this. They were thriving off their show!
|
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 4:36 am
I have read my post again, and decided that how they raise their children and what they feel is right for their children is none of my business! I do believe that it is very close to being in a cult, but I will never cross paths with them in my lifetime anyway.
|
Sueby
Member
11-18-2004
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 8:51 am
Apparently the Jackie Coogan law that states the child must have a trust fund set up and at least 15% of the money held there for child actors to come of age does not apply to reality television.
From what I can tell the show started at $25,000.00 per episode and is now at $95,000.00 with checks written out to Jim Bob. Special Episodes get more but not much around $100,000.00 Josh and Anna have always been paid a separate amount for their participation.
Home schooling is a huge peeve of mine. I was a 4-H leader for 10 years and we had many home schoolers in our club. Parents had to have them involved in a social activity to receive their "money." We had teenagers that couldn't work in a hot dog booth because they could neither read nor add up prices to charge people. Public speaking was a nightmare. The children were supposed to do books for the year. These books were invaluable to most kids. It really taught the value of money to see how much it cost you (your parents) and how much work it was to keep your horse. When we would mark them you could plainly see their parents had done the books.
A 15 year old girl came to me and asked me to talk to her parents because she really wanted to go to school. Talking to them made me want to pound my head against the wall. I still feel really really bad about this. They told me they couldn't afford it. Apparently, they received the tax and bus money that is spent on each child in our province to home school them. Plus the province paid for all supplies including a new computer every 2 years. And these kids never have to do the province wide tests every kid in school has to do.(This still infuriates me) No one ever checks to see if they were actually schooling them. I was astounded. This girl is now 22 and works in the kitchen of a restaurant for minimum wage.
|
Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 9:02 am
I'm not certain about other states but in Texas you do not receive a refund on your school taxes (it is always brought up in the Legislature) if you homeschool.
My niece homeschools her son because he has several learning disabilities and public school wasn't accommodating his needs (he would have been put in special education and that wasn't a great option). She does the K-1 curriculum which is the same curriculum as the State's. He has to take all standardized tests and achieve the same grades as if he was going to a regular public school.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 9:46 am
Apparently the Jackie Coogan law that states the child must have a trust fund set up and at least 15% of the money held there for child actors to come of age does not apply to reality television.
I believe that is a California state law, not a federal law, so I don't think it applies in all states.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 9:48 am
My business partner homeschooled all three of her children (she is a bleeding heart liberal like me). All three of them are in college now, all three of them have received academic scholarships for their achievements. The oldest now has a full scholarship to law school.
So, we should be careful not to treat all homeschooling the same.
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 10:44 am
Can we see that there is a difference.
I can, of course.
But often the effects are strikingly similar, which can be surprising when you get a group together.
I found in the sexual assault groups we did (the sexual assault network where I volunteers for years.. we had a 24 hour hotline but also went along for rape exams, were available to go with to court, we had self defense classes specifically for survivors (so that they didn't go to a regular class and have to deal with issues that come up) and the support groups which were fairly structured, 8 weeks and closed, so that the same group moved through the experience without anyone being added.
And we had a large range of issues, from mild to life threatening, from childhood to adult, from incest to family or non family ritual abuse and at the beginning there would be women who felt that they would have nothing in common, or say they felt they couldn't complain, because so and so had much worse done to them, or the length of time involved was more or less, but by the end of each group it was pretty amazing that most of the participants had moved into seeing that they shared issues and felt less alone and more empowered.
I think there is more danger of harm if society tells a woman (or man) what happened to them wasn't SO bad or could have been much worse (even if that is actually true) than if they are just made to feel that their issues are important and legitimate and that they were not at fault and not the only ones and that they can get support and live life well.
I think there is a huge range in homeschooling and when it is done to provide the children with the best education, in the best way for them to learn it really can be a huge success. And I know in many cases the parents make sure that the kids still participate in activities with kids outside the home and have opportunities to learn in all possible ways. That represents such dedication!!
Of course some parents are not so well equipped to be teachers or to take their kids past the levels they have achieved, but that can be remedied if they enlist others to teach in areas they lack or in levels of advancement.
Other setups, not so much, if the kids are isolated from all but very narrow views, or their range of subjects is narrowed down in ways that will stunt their potential to be well rounded adults, or to keep the children from having choices in life.
Look at the FLDS where their schools also were all about the religion (cult, in that case) and not about preparing kids to have a full life outside the group).
And the Amish and other groups where schooling isn't encouraged past a certain level, with girls getting even less of it.
And going to school outside the home is in itself a life experience that certainly can be stressful for some kids (many) and on the other hand if a kid IS in an abusive home, school can be an absolute haven!
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 10:59 am
I think there is more danger of harm if society tells a woman (or man) what happened to them wasn't SO bad or could have been much worse (even if that is actually true) than if they are just made to feel that their issues are important and legitimate and that they were not at fault and not the only ones and that they can get support and live life well.
I don't think anyone has said anything like your first sentence, FWIW. What I have said consistently is that the situations and individuals involved should be the guide. There is also harm in telling people how they should feel or think.
Sometimes what happens in group (think) therapy, is that people, in order to identify with the group, are encouraged to see it differently, even if they didn't. In order to fit in. Also, one must consider that if one is even referred to group therapy, that they are having issues. If they weren't having issues, they wouldn't be there.
So, it's not really a great statistical sample of the after effects.
Again, no one is trying to minimize everything, certainly not me. What I am doing, as consistently as I can convey, is that these experiences and the reactions to it are not one-size-fits-all. It's just as harmful to tell someone they aren't reacting enough as to tell them they are overreacting. Their reactions reflect who they are and how they perceived the situation. As long as they are doing well, they should not be challenged. Only when there is incongruence between their functioning and their perception of the experience, should they be challenged.
|
Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 12:41 pm
My opinion on home schooling depends on if it's a fanatical religious curriculum like the Duggar's use - "Bill Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute". There are some mighty bizarro and frightening teachings... ATI lessons on sexual assault that have circulated online are basic examples victim-blaming. Let's face it, these 19 kiddos got an education that few of us would wish on our own children.
|
Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 1:32 pm
I think proper-curriculum home schooling is a blessing for those kids who suffer from bullying at school. (Not referring to the fanatical religious / cult home schooling.)
|
Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 1:43 pm
My neighbor (2 doors down)home schools her 10 year old son. He has some social skill issues and has been bullied of sorts and made fun of since kindergarten. So 2 years ago she quit her job and home schools him. It's the best thing forhim. I can see a difference in him-more confident. He's bright and exceeding all academic standards. Her other 2 children are in public schools....a junior in HS and an 8th grader.
|
Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 1:50 pm
I love when parents are willing and able to prioritize their offspring.  Kudos to your neighbour Lilfair!
|
Mamabatsy
Member
08-05-2005
| Monday, June 08, 2015 - 2:51 pm
When I was doing analysis for placing entering freshman into college classes,there were some home schooled kids who had passed several Advanced placement tests which got them out of freshman classes right into second year. There were others who seemed not to have any teaching at all. They had to start with remedial everything.
The sadist of all were the transfer students who had attended some local Bible colleges or for profit trade schools. Some of them could hardly read or write and had to be placed in mostly freshmen classes. They were upset because they thought they had completed two years of college but all they had done was pay for two years of marking time.
|
Sueby
Member
11-18-2004
| Wednesday, June 10, 2015 - 3:41 pm
This is not going to go away.
http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/new-investigation-launched-against-duggar-family-911-called-60330
In Touch is not going to let it rest.
Edited to add: Did you notice that his body guard is Kate plus 8's old one. Steve. Makes me wonder if TLC is paying for him.
|
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Wednesday, June 10, 2015 - 4:47 pm
Sue, I didn't see any bodyguard!!
|
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Wednesday, June 10, 2015 - 4:50 pm
Sue, I just noticed that it was in the comments area.
|
Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Wednesday, June 10, 2015 - 10:14 pm
I believe TMZ posted a picture of Josh leaving his DC area (I forget what city) in a moving van and stating the same about the bodyguard Steve was protecting Josh...
|
Sueby
Member
11-18-2004
| Wednesday, June 10, 2015 - 10:28 pm
Sorry I should have posted where I read about Josh's body guard.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/josh-duggar-moving-back-arkansas-801497
I think the Hollywood Reporter is really reliable. I check them every morning to keep up with my favourite celebrities. And not so favourite.
|
Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Thursday, June 11, 2015 - 8:46 am
The Duggars are being investigated again? Hmmmm it could be nothing, I suppose but then again nothing would surprise me.
http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/officials-called-911-after-being-denied-entry-duggars-home
|
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Thursday, June 11, 2015 - 9:57 am
Now the DHS is checking up on the minor that was molested 12 years ago???? Aren't they a little late? They should have checked up on her 12 years ago!
I'm NOT defending the Duggars, you all know how I feel about them, but the DHS should have done their job properly 12 years ago.
I think the family should not have done their interviews on national TV. By trying to defend Josh to the media, was not the right thing and caused more hoopla around this,
Jim Bob sounds like a real narcissist to me and he made it worse. Like I said last week, they should have just quietly slip away from public view and deal with it as much as they could out of the public eye. They dug themselves into a bigger hole.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 11, 2015 - 10:34 am
We don't really know what the DHS is investigating, it's held in confidence.
It could just be a disgruntled person filing a false report. You can call them and have them show up at someone's house too... if you sound credible enough.
Yes, it's possible that someone called from inside the home, but it's not likely one of the kids called DHS, right?
|
Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Thursday, June 11, 2015 - 11:07 am
Muffin, this was an unrelated call. Had nothing to do with Josh fondling the vaginas and breasts of his sisters.
As Kar said it could be nothing or it could be something we can only speculate at this point.
Im 50-50. Could be nothing but part of me wonders could it be that the Duggars religious beliefs are causing their boys to be molesters. The parents and the 2 sisters said Josh was "too curious about girls" AKA too horny. Well most teenaged boys are too curious about girls so they grab their dads playboy or surf the internet or masturbate a lot. None of those things are available for the Dugger boys so they turn to their sisters.
Nothing would surprise me.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 11, 2015 - 11:29 am
Lilfair, with all due respect, almost every teen boy is very "curious about girls." The age of Playboy is long over, but the internet, and HBO in many homes is a more likely source for them to turn to. The Duggars just used that as a description, incorrectly, IMO. I really dislike the use of the word "horny", it's derogatory, and these feelings in our teens are normal, not deviant.
And lots of teenage boys (and girls) experiment. Heck, many of them are having sex at 12 or 13 these days. You'd be surprised.
So, I don't think it has anything to with family. It's biology and the world we live in today.
|
Muffin
Member
08-29-2007
| Thursday, June 11, 2015 - 11:35 am
Lil, I didn't realize it was an unrelated call! My mistake. Like Karuuna said, anyone could have made that call. They have so many haters out there right now it could be someone trying to make more trouble for them, although I can't imagine how much worse it could get!
The more the Duggers try to make it sound that everything is all good in lalaland, the worse they make it for themselves.
JMO
|
|
|
|
