| Author |
Message |
Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 1:38 pm 
Maybe drunken remorse once she remembered she had a boyfriend back home?
|
Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 1:52 pm
I know we aren't supposed to be judgmental but if a guy with a girlfriend at home went on the show, got intimate with one of the women and then claimed he was too drunk to remember and that she took advantage of him and the show should have kept him safe, I don't know how many people would be very sympathetic to him.
|
Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 2:05 pm
Brenda, Corrine hasn't seen the tape and she didn't make the complaint from what I've read. That's a reason why I am having trouble with all the blaming of Corrine.
And I read that her lawyer still wants to see the tapes, so it makes me think that they didn't pay her off.
|
Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 2:25 pm
Grooch, I thought they showed both Corinne and Demario the tape before they shut down production. That is why Demario was adamant that he wanted the tape released.
|
Brenda1966
Member
07-02-2002
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 3:08 pm
Corinne's statement starts out "I am a victim". So, with her drunken lack of memory I guess one would assume she saw the tape? I'm guessing her lawyers are working to make sure it never sees the light of day, especially if he wants it released. And I read that she was angry about being cut off from more alcohol the next day. What an ugly mess. Hopefully things will change on set. No one should be allowed to get that drunk. not there and not on the Bachelor shows. It really doesn't make for good TV.
|
Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 4:06 pm
I'll bet anyone $1,000 they showed her the tape.
|
Wilsonatmd
Member
01-23-2001
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 4:11 pm
CNN got a copy of the contract the BIP contestants signed...
http://money.cnn.com/2017/06/21/media/bachelor-in-paradise-contract/index.html
(Basically if Corinne sues she'll have to go to binding confidential arbitration- which is a big disadvantage)
|
Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 5:29 pm
I have been reading all the discussion, and while I don't condone rape at all, and we aren't sure there was one. I do want to say there are consequences to dangerous, high risk behaviors. Take for example an adrenaline junky who loves BASE jumping. If something bad happened to him, we woulnd't say that he deserved it, but we wouldn't be surprised because of the risks involved in the hobby. We wouldn't blame the mountain either.
Drinking consistently to the point of black out has conquences. It is dangerous, high risk behavior. Drinking to that excess is a choice or addiction. But whether its a choice or addiction, there are still consequences to that behavior that the person indulging in these behaviors must acknowledge. There has to be some ownership of the behaviors that led to the consequences.
|
Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 5:46 pm
Kar. I'm so appreciative of your posts, and this may not come out right, translate from my brain to the written word.. but your words are exactly what my dd communicates when she tries to join in tv watching and convos here! She's very passionate in her position and it's almost like she has read your comments!
I'll say I've not liked to remember times when I've had too much... and a particular college frat party comes to mind... so I can understand if Corrine was prepped for this season of BIP had a "storyline" was being paid and getting "15 min of fame". Things went too far or there wouldn't be this discussion
I also can see why he wants the tapes/raw footage released to "vindicate" him... but.... just because... no, just no!
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 6:22 pm
LOL Lexie at never thinking you would type those words!
Yeah, I dont even think Gloria Alred could win a case that she was violated if the violation was sitting on his face unless he is holding her there forcefully. I think he deserves to have the tape released or officially described. He has gotten the bad name in this and if he didnt violate her he deserves to be vindicated. I have always had a feeling this was druken remorse (love that phrase)
|
Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 8:37 pm
Well they have resumed filming, in Mexico, per a couple of tabloid tv shows. They couldn't say it Corinne and / or DeMario were involved or not.
They showed each of them walking to cars, not looking too happy to have a reporter following them and demanding a statement..which neither of them provided.
|
Brenda1966
Member
07-02-2002
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 9:11 pm
I don't think either of them are returning to BIP. And they both come out of this looking bad. And Yes, Texannie-- I talk about this with my teen all the time. Risky behavior and then things go very bad. And about how girlfriends have to look out for each other, not let each other get blotto drunk or go off with a stranger. Safety is a priority. Now I'm sure when cameras are rolling you get a false sense of safety, but still no excuse to drink until you can't recall things.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 10:35 pm
Texannie, I don't think this compares to things like car racing, etc.
This is something being done TO YOU by another human being.
It's like saying, well, if you drink and you get murdered, you have to take some of the responsibility. We wouldn't say that, but somehow with sexuality, that's different.
It's archaic and sexist thinking. It's no different than blaming a woman for rape when she dresses provocatively.
Or blaming the victim of domestic violence because she "egged him on."
I understand things are more complex than that, but the law is the law. A drunk person (male or female) can't give consent. If you have sex with someone who is drunk, YOU are the one engaging in risky behavior!
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 10:38 pm
You are welcome, Reader. And thank you and your DD.
I think we would do well to listen to younger people in this regard. The world has changed. Social behavior has changed. Laws have changed.
Staying stuck in thinking that was more in line with decades ago and using that to judge today's young people means you can't really understand the situation from THEIR point of view.
The fact is, the law is the law. Is it difficult to figure out sometimes? Sure.
But as I said above, it seems like some want to blame her for her "risky" behavior, but give him a pass for his. If you have sex with someone who has had a lot to drink, YOU may well be doing something illegal, so YOU are taking a big risk!
|
Texannie
Member
07-15-2001
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 5:02 am
He was engaging in risky behaviors as well and should take ownership of his actions and face the consequences of his behaviors. Facing the consequences of of high risk behaviors/actions applies equally to everyone.
Brenda, I had that same talk with my daughter too. I also talked to my son about no and to not turn a blind eye to what his friends might be doing.
If anyone has a son, there is a wonderful You Tube video that explains no means no by using 'drinking tea' as an analogy. It's so whitty and gets the point acros very well.
|
Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 7:31 am
This is a bit of a struggle for me. I fully understand that it is wrong to blame the victim.
At the same time, I also think it should be clear that there are potential consequences to engaging in risky behavior.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 7:46 am
I've never said that her drinking was okay. Clearly she has a problem.
But that problem does not, in any way, make her partially responsible for sexual assault on her.
Just as it would not make her partially responsible if she got robbed or murdered.
It may be stupid to leave your door unlocked, but your failure to keep yourself safe does not negate crimes committed against you, or make you any less of a victim.
|
Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 8:02 am
It doesn't make you less of a victim but it is not behavior that should be encouraged.
The problem is that as soon as someone suggests that Corinne behaved poorly, they are accused of blaming the victim.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 8:11 am
No one is encouraging it, except the folks that were producing the show.
If people say her poor behavior "contributed" that is blaming the victim.
Years ago, when I was active in DARE and DAPP and AMEND, I had the opportunity to go on a police ridealong.
We had a DV call, and after all was taken care of, I was back on my ridealong and one of the (male) officers said "she was egging him on".
So, I unleashed on him, called him names, swore at him, told him how stupid he was, and dared him to hit me.
Funny thing, he never did. He calmly drove the crazy person back to the station and ordered me out of the car. At which point, I said "well, why didn't you hit me, I was egging you on?"
He got real quiet. And I said, that's the point isn't it? YOU had a choice. YOU chose not to hit me, no matter what I did. That's what I've been trying to get you to understand.
It doesn't matter what she did, if a crime was committed against her, it was a crime. It is no less of a crime if she behaved poorly.
|
Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 8:20 am
A person walks down a dark deserted lane late at night and they get mugged.
If someone says that they got what they deserved, that is blaming the victim.
However, if someone says that walking down a dark deserted lane late at night isn't a good idea, that doesn't mean that they are blaming the victim. It means that they think that walking down a dark deserted lane late at night isn't a good idea.
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 8:42 am
In the context of what happened, and you say "what were you doing walking down a dark deserted lane at night", it IS blaming the victim. Pretty sure the victim would think that too.
Like I said, it's like asking a woman who was raped what she was wearing.
|
Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 9:03 am
We don't know what happened here, but rape is a very serious accusation. Rape is usually done by force or when someone is unconscious. I haven't read any details. I find it hard to believe that with all the cameras and people around that someone didn't come to her aid. And unfortunately cases of a woman disappointed in their sexual behavior the night before have cried rape. Again I have no idea as do any of us what happened that night. But the cameras know. And that footage would be allowed to be shown in court.
|
Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 9:17 am
I think that if you twist it into an accusation, then it is blaming the victim.
However, if there is a story on the news about someone who walked down a dark lane and was mugged and you turn to the person sitting next to you and say "we should avoid walking down dark lanes" that's not blaming the victim. It's just an observation and a fact that life isn't fair and bad things happen and we should do what we can to prevent it.
|
Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 9:50 am
Lilfair, Corinne wasn't "raped." She sat on DeMario's face.
And that's the second time I never thought I would have to type those words.
|
Pamy
Member
01-01-2002
| Thursday, June 22, 2017 - 9:56 am
We have no proof she was sexually assaulted. Pretty much the contrary. I also dont blame the victim but here I dont think she is a victim. Honestly, Demarco may be. Because people just assume HE was the aggressor. By people I mean the gen population that maybe just saw the first stories on this and havent kept up. They formed their opinions and dont know the whole story.
TMZ fully vets their stories. I believe the info they have covered
|
Spoilers - 2017 Bachelor in Paradise 
