| Author |
Message |
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 11:03 am 
Chewing makes me crazy, listening to people eat.
But I take the responsibility to learn to calm myself and not let it bother me. I don't blame it on others.
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Keldogg
Member
08-12-2005
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 11:15 am
This isn't something that people can change about themselves.
We have a stutterer in our family. Therapy has helped somewhat but it is still something they have to deal with.
The rudeness and impatience and mocking that he has had to deal with from people is absolutely disgusting.
Everyone has challenges in life, some are just visible to others. Empathic and mature people accept that. Those who aren't will never be able to.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 11:35 am
Let's just hope that those BB people will mature and develop just at least a bit of empathy for those who are not as privileged as they are.
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 12:27 pm
The money that I would be concerned with is not about campaign donations.
It's about known conspiracy theorists and social media personalities purposely telling lies about Black Lives Matters and POC in general in order to line their own pockets. They have *personal* GoFundMe accounts and PayPal accounts that are meant to skim money from disenfranchised (mostly white) poor and middle class people and enrich themselves by spreading hate.
Strategist, I understand about the two platforms.
I also understand completely about the conspiracy theorists using their platform to tell lies. I also know that it's not just the disenfranchised white people that are drawn in by these people.
I would love to dig deeper into some of the things you've brought up in a previous post but I don't want it to seem combative because that is not my intention. I also have limited time to post. I do appreciate yours and Karunna's responses.
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 12:36 pm
I haven't read any discussions in the game yet today. Who is laughing at Ian's rocking? That is awful.
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 4:22 pm
Maine - Memphis came into the Key room when Dani, Nicole and Xmas were in there. He started talking about how he's getting spooked by the way Ian keeps popping up when he least expects him.
He then said that he will be having nightmares the rest of his life about waking up to find Ian sitting at the foot of his bed, rocking. (Not that that ever really happened, BTW.)
This set the girls off into fits of laughter, and then Dani told Nicole she knew Nicole was laughing because it's "hashtag relatable" to her. (Meaning, I assume, Ian always hanging around.)
To me, it wasn't directly laughing at Ian's rocking, but more the idea of Memphis having nightmares about it, but either way, most likely something that would never be said to Ian's face.
The clip is available at this link if you want to see for yourself:
https://twitter.com/clips_bb/status/1303534571716317185
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Sunnyday
Member
08-07-2014
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 4:42 pm
I'm pretty sure that Ian knows that he makes some people uncomfortable, I'm sure he has dealt with it all his life. I don't think Memphis was being especially mean, just making fun of his (Memphis 's) discomfort.And I also would freak if I awoke to find someone rocking on the foot of my bed (I know Ian didn't).
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Wednesday, September 09, 2020 - 8:21 pm
Mocking Ian is as bad as being a racist to me.
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Thursday, September 10, 2020 - 5:31 am
Pschrfhd,I agree. Memphis came in talking about Ian popping up everywhere and he was afraid he would have nightmares of it. I saw them as laughing at Memphis and not Ian's rocking.
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Thursday, September 10, 2020 - 11:45 pm
Oil if Olay has dropped Nicole.
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Meggieprice
Member
07-09-2001
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 7:32 am
Many people in the BB online communities saw it as laughing at a disability- and I feel that even laughing at Memphis's discomfort is cruel.
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Keldogg
Member
08-12-2005
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 7:45 am
Being intolerant is not a disability.
And it looks like today we will once again have 2 POC on the block.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 8:19 am
I'm still not certain if they were laughing at Ian's disability or if they were laughing about their and Memphis' discomfort. Laughing at someone's discomfort may not be great either but it is better than directly laughing at Ian's disability and it's one way a lot of people deal with their own discomfort.
Regardless, it's abundantly clear that laughing about anything where a disability is involved is extremely problematical.
I often even wonder about comedians who make fun of their own disability. Yes they are disabled and they own it but there are other people out there with the same disability that may not feel comfortable with someone joking about it. Where to draw the line.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 8:31 am
As I posted yesterday, there was no reason to bring Ian's disability into it.
What if they had said I have nightmares about that "black" person sitting on the end of my bed. Or a person with Tourette's?
If the issue was that he was always appearing, they could have/should have left it at that.
He brought the rocking into it *precisely* because it made it more disturbing. I don't get why people can't see that?
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Maineiac
Member
08-24-2009
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 8:34 am
I agree Jimmer.
In the past, other players were mocked for their odd behavior and other things that were out of their control, yet there wasn’t outrage. I have to wonder if it depends on who is being mocked and who is doing the mocking.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 8:47 am
I think it is bad to mock any behavior or physical characteristic that is beyond a person's control. Mocking is not nice in any event.
(Though I do recall considerable hilarity ensuing here and elsewhere over a Bachelor contestant who said she couldn't control her eyebrows. That's just one of many examples. Of course, her eyebrows were not a physical disability and that is the key difference.)
If Ian's rocking doesn't bother Memphis and he said this simply to be mean or for strategic purposes then that's awful.
If Ian's rocking does bother Memphis (and the others) and they laughed as part of their own discomfort over it, then that is somewhat different.
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Pschrfhd
Member
05-22-2011
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 8:57 am
Maybe it will make some feel better to know that speculation is out there that at least Nicole and/or Dani may have been given a clue by the DR as to how their behavior in this instance is being perceived outside the house.
Last night I read/saw a pic of Nicole in bed crying, saying that she wanted to take responsibility for whatever it was she did... or words to that effect. Since one of her closest allies won HoH, it's hard to imagine what else she would have had to cry about last night.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 9:27 am
I don't see how it's different. It's still WRONG, regardless of the motivation. And lord knows by this time in history, people should know that making fun or laughing at someone's disability is wrong, even if it's just because you are uncomfortable.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 10:22 am
Though doing so does have its benefits, I think it oversimplifies if we think of everything as being equally bad.
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Strategist
Member
07-01-2014
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 11:37 am
Hint: If you know you are being seen 24x7 and you know that it might be wrong to mock a person's disability err on the side of caution.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 11:52 am
LOL you'd think that wouldn't be that hard, huh?
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 12:00 pm
I'll add that I think that behaviors (mocking a disability, making racial remarks, etc.) are hard to turn on and off. Over the course of the season, observing people on the live feeds over a longer period, we get a better picture of what they are like. If they do things like this repeatedly then it becomes very clear.
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 12:36 pm
It's bad no matter how you view it.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 1:04 pm
To be honest, we don't know what they are thinking.
That's why I based my assessment on their *behavior*, since I can't know their motive.
Their behavior was wrong. Period. No matter what was going in their heads.
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Jimmer
Board Administrator
08-29-2000
| Friday, September 11, 2020 - 2:07 pm
People laugh when they are uncomfortable or nervous, especially in a group. It takes courage to stand up and say something is wrong in any situation. It takes even more courage in BB.
Some people here may have that courage and I congratulate them for it. However, it doesn't make the ones who laugh nervously, pure evil.
Yes I know that no one said they are pure evil but that is what I am saying about over simplifying if we think everything is equally bad.
Anyway, I certainly agree that it was wrong of them to laugh, regardless of why.
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