Friends

The ClubHouse: The Game II - Mysterious Puzzler: Discussions/Challenges: Friends

Guruchaz

Monday, February 12, 2001 - 07:10 am Click here to edit this post

There are some people that throw the word "friend" around like it's going out of style. I have referred to friends, both past and present, in some of my conversations but I was trying to think exactly how many "true friends" I've had in my lifetime. I'm not talking about acquaintances or people you see off and on at work. I automatically see spouses and fiances included in the friend category.

My definition of a true friend is someone you can count on, someone who is willing to share their life experiences with you as you go along, someone who listens and understands, someone you enjoy being around/talking to most of the time, and being someone you can each learn from.

Right now, I can only think of 2 people that fit that category: my friend Jeff and my friend Brian. My grandfather was like a friend before he passed away and I've had one other close friend pass away. I honestly see the makings of a few friendships just from being here and that's what has made this whole month worthwhile for me. I never considered how real the emotion was behind online conversations over a period of time. It's really opened my eyes, especially being in here.

M and AZ, I was wondering if you would like to share your views on how you determine who is a friend and what you expect from individuals in order for them to earn your friendship?

Guruchaz

Monday, February 12, 2001 - 08:25 am Click here to edit this post

My friends Jeff and Brian have no idea that I've been in the game at the TVCH. In fact, they both thought Big Brother was stupid and therefore that show and this website is not something they want to hear about. In fact, they scoff at all of the reality shows with the exception of Brian who I think watches Survivor II.

Brian and Jeff are essentially different people. There is something unique that I respect in both of them and each have their shortcomings just like I have mine. Jeff would have a hard time understanding that it is possible to make friends online. That just isn't in his current realm of thinking and one that he will just have to discover for himself. I agree with him in the sense that you have to personally see and speak with someone in order to truly get to know each other.

As for Brian, I had an hour and a half talk with him on the Saturday I was having issues with myself and wasn't here most of the day. I tried to explain what was going on and what I was feeling inside. His thoughts originally were that I shouldn't worry about it and just blow it off. I took that as him not understanding the full spectrum of my feelings in this situation. He said that most individuals behind online names that hide behind anonymity are hard to trust because you don't know if they are playacting or being real. He also said that online talk gets so out of control that people say things that they would never say to someone in person or act that way in person. I had to laugh at that point, mainly at myself, but this was a serious issue for me. I told him that I met a few people here that I truly liked and his last words were, "Just be careful who you give information to."

Only those that I've met here and been in the game with can undertstand the feelings that go on here. No matter how many friends you have, they are not all going to fully understand the same situation. They would have to experience it for themselves.

I've enjoyed being here and meeting everyone and I especially want to thank M and AZ. Deep down, I hope you two truly know how I feel. It's been a blessing more than you can comprehend.

Guruchaz

Monday, February 12, 2001 - 08:47 am Click here to edit this post

M,

I'm sure Jeff and Brian will be glad to talk to you if you have any questions. They may not understand our meeting but they are easygoing guys and I think you all would get along fine.

Azriel

Monday, February 12, 2001 - 09:00 am Click here to edit this post

Guru, I've had lots of friends but only a few close friends in my life. A close friend makes a connection with you on a different level. There is intimacy in a close friendship that doesn't exist with casual friends. A close friend doesn't always understand you, but they believe in you even when they don't understand. They know or sense your strengths and weaknesses and they accept the whole package.

I know you can make a connection like that on the internet. I have told you about my friend from Holland that I spent the weekend in NO with. I consider him a close friend. We met playing a game on the net. I've known him for two years. When we met face to face, we saw that connection was real and not imagined.

It's true that it is easier to misunderstand people on the net. I think you should trust your feelings, but if your relationship with Merlin doesn't progress as you envision it then don't bottle up your feelings and close yourself up. There are a lot of people that would value your friendship, Guru. Don't let disappointment in one person make you miss making that connection with another person.

Azriel

Monday, February 12, 2001 - 09:12 am Click here to edit this post

I didn't mean to sound like doom and gloom there at the end. I just see how much this means to you and I don't want you worrying so much, Guru. If you reach out and offer something as precious as your friendship to someone and they don't accept it, then it's their loss. I just can't imagine that Merlin doesn't feel the connection you feel with him.