Archive through October 28, 2000
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Archive through October 28, 2000
Vykin | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:37 am  Roger, so sorry to hear that I'm gonna check ur post while Luke tells us more about his evening! Luke we were all thinking about you buddy! |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:38 am  Vyk--I want you around all you want to be on line with this...we've had some great convos, laughed, cried, and with everything tomorrow, well, it just wouldn't be the same without you! Luke, as you can probably tell, it was light traffic tonight---I thought I was in the twilight zone!!!! |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:40 am  The ride back from sacramento seemed like 5 minutes... (well, i was kinda speeding, but not too much!) so I came back here to the office because I knew I'd have itchy fingers to chat with you... And since I had a huge slab of ribs for lunch, I just got a Filet-o-Fish for dinner! Hehehe! After the concert, I went up to Jeanne--and shook her hand and she gave me a hug--she says, "I remember you! What's your name again" and I said "R... uh... Luke!" and she goes, "yes, back in Los Angeles!" I'm working on an email to her right now... I feel like such a groopie! Oh, I can't wait to get home... I don't care what time it is--I'm sitting at the piano for at least half an hour! |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:42 am  But all through the evening... and this is going to sound crazy... I couldn't stop thinking about you! I totally wanted you, all of you, sitting there with me! I was like--Oh my god, I have to get back and tell Roger and Vykin and Moon and May about the concert! They should have been here! We would have had an awesome time together! I could totally have imagined all of you there with me... I was wishing it! My god, you guys-- you guys are like... like family! |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:45 am  Well, tonight has certainly had it's twists and turns!! Vyk/Luke, I'll stay around as long as you guys want to chat. Just let me know what you're feeling like....wel, in regards to that, I mean. haha Luke, did you see your reward for winning the challenge?? |
Vykin | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:47 am  Okay caught up on livingroom converse ( I lied puter crashed at 9pm it seemed like 4 hours, then realized I had also slept for 3 hours, so technically today I lost 6 hours of discussion time!) Roger, I read your reply, I agree with everything you said, it was a great response. I'll post this, see what Luke has further said about his night. Then I'll post quick short comments regarding ur post. |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:49 am  Yeah... and you know what-- I'm feeling better about that too... he (my ex) called me yesterday when I was sick in bed... we talked for like 5 minutes, and that was it... But I realize that each time I talk with him now, I feel a little less and less... less hurt... less "missing him"... just less everything... I feel really lucky that all the people who have tried to communicate with me from the outside through banners or in our chat sessions have been all positive and supportive!!! Thank you everyone!!! And all you gay guys--the Lukster is SINGLE again!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!  |
Vykin | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:52 am  Roger don't even bring up the challenge!! We know Lukor and Moonie cheated!!! Lukester, your description of your evening is absolutely infectious!!!! We were all thinking about you. I know how you felt away from the house and thinking of us. Samething happened to me when ISP crashed tonite! I had wanted to spend the whole evening talking, all of us waiting until you came "home" (this home) and gave us your report. I was really hoping you and Roger wud at least be up late as usual. We were there with you Luke in spirit. LOL You DO sound like a giddy teenage groupie!! Hell i'm just glad I'm here at least for a bit longer. (I have to sign off at 1:30am.) |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:55 am  NEENER NEENER NEENER! WE WON AND YOU DIDN'T! LA DE DA DE DA!!!!! Heheheh... can you tell i'm in a jovial mood right now? |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:55 am  Luke, you sound so positive right now---it's greta to hear from you!! You said at the begining that first weekend that maybe the game and your siutaion were bad timing with each other....maybe you couldn't have been more wrong!!!! Way to hang in there, guy!!!! Vyk---I'll go with however you want to work it--you're the one with the busted ass server! |
Vykin | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 12:58 am  ROFLMAO luke, man you are on a high! tonite! Roger about your response: You said: I think you have a good point about a “killer” instinct mixed with ego. With the exception of only one other animal, the rest of animals kill only for either food or self-defense. We seem to have the ability to kill for virtually any reason, and sometimes with a sick enjoyment of it! Exactly! That is where that human "animal instinct" crosses the line and begins to kill for as u say sick enjoyment - Ego - sense of power. That is where they lose any sense of reasoning. Like a cat and mouse, the cat will toy, play, taunt the mouse abuse it till it is dead. But not eat it. It's sickening, but glad you understood my "rationalizing" the abuser. In passing, you mentioned Galileo, absolutely agree. In fact, when I was in Italy I saw his tomb in the church in Florence. Machiavelli's also, Dante's, and right along side of Michelangelo, DaVinci. |
Vykin | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:02 am  Yeah Luke as Roger says you are certainly a positive "up" - I think we've all been so quiet and nervous today. I never thought I wud feel it as much as I do. I think every one of us feels the "dark cloud" approaching in the morning. Luke you're lucky you had such a positive distraction tonite. Lukester, you say one more "Neener" and I swear I'll deck you myself. You and Moon copied us! You better go to the Church confessional tonite before you go to sleep. |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:04 am  Yes, Luke is a little over the edge for how he usually is---I like it though!! We all need that once in awhile!!! Vyk--So much we have to learn, yet most of it has been put before us long ago....we just won't use it. History is of no value if we refuse to learn from it!!! We are definitely our own worts enemy---and the worst enemy of everything else on this earth. |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:06 am  Confess? Hehehehehee!!!! Confess that we may be showing too much PRIDE at our ACHIEVEMENT of using our INTELLIGENCE and our NATURAL TALENT? |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:10 am  Hosehead is talking smack now!!!!! LMAO! Except for the vote on the last one (who will win), I'd like to see if the outsdie folks voted on all those too---and what they came up with!! Something to consider is that all along we've never been too concerned about what they have thought---we didn't change how we showed ourselves to make anyine out there happy....we actually pretty much forgot they were watching us while we were having our best converstaions and talking about ourselves and each other.... |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:11 am  You guys, we only have 6 hours left... hmmmmm.... I almost don't even feel like sleeping! |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:13 am  You know, if we tried to be anything other than ourselves, it'd be too obvious... I can tell that everyone in here is speaking from their hearts... honestly... we've opened up ourselves honestly in here, and that's what makes us feel close to each other right now... and also what will make tomorrow morning very difficult... |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:15 am  I know what you mean Luke...I was figuring a late night with all till you got back---well, just as Vyk indicated. It ended up being so much different. I hope May or Moon weren't so bothered about tomorrow that it hurt too much to be together tonight. Vyk--you wading your way though ok??????? |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:17 am  Well, you can't get something for nothing! Personally I feel that waht we've gained from each other is a heck of a lot more than the pain we will go through of banishment...after all, only 2 days from that time till everyone steps out. Then up to us to keep in communications with each other 1 on 1. I will keep that promise! |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:18 am  Shit! It's almost 1:30! And I still have to go home! Guys, I'm going to try and log on around 7 am... if the alarm works... actually, I'll probably be too nervous, I'll get up without the alarm... But if I do log on before chat, I'll come here to the living room to check if anyone else is up... sounds cool? |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:20 am  Luke--works great for me! See you in the morning, or are you going to check in once more when you get home?? |
Luke | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:23 am  I think I'd better just crash... I want to get up before the chat starts... May and Vyk should already be in here cuz they're ahead of us anyways... Roger and Vyk... have a restful sleep, my brothers... see you in the morning. (marches out singing "We are the Champions, We are the Champions!!!") |
Vykin | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:29 am  roger , luke i went to do my internet cam address, I too will sign on earlier, hell if it takes two hours of aol pay than thats just the way it will be. I'll be back here around 7am also so we can have a coffee together. |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 01:32 am  I too have amessage to write, although I will write it and leave it hanging here in the LR. It is a message to the 4 of you. If I say or if I go, I will be saying good bye to at leats two of you either way. if you see it, feel free to read it--the message will be to the 4 of you. Sleep well, and I will see you all in the morning. |
Roger_Ramjet | Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 02:15 am  Moon, Vyk, May, Luke---I would like to write a good bye note, as tomorrow morning will be hectic, and there won’t be time for something like this. If I leave, I will leave with one of you, saying good bye to 3 of you. If I stay, I will watch 2 of you walk away, and will be saying good bye to those two—so either way I will be saying good bye. I don’t know what the outside public will say to us. I love games, and play to win unless I put the scorebook away—then it can be for fun. This is a unique game, for I believe I cannot win it. In being myself, it ends up being all the voters that decides if I win or not. So, while I can be the winner of the game, I can’t take control and determine the outcome----a very different game!!! On BB they asked why each deserved to win. I will answer that from my perspective, as I feel it’s an important question. One cannot know why they deserve to win till they have won—and even then they may never know unless they are told. That’s because it’s decided by someone else---others pick what is “deserving”. I came here with two goals in mind. First and foremost, to be who I really am as a person. I did this because that is my nature---I don’t put a best foot forward, and I don’t pretend to be something or someone I’m not. In doing this, I wanted to be the winner of the game…I wanted to know that the term “nice guys finish last” could be proven wrong in a reality game (including a virtual reality game). This last part will take place no matter which 5 of us walks out the winner. All of us have shown who we really are, have been honest, and are nice people. So, at least for this version of BB, someone nice will indeed finish first. Second, I came in here to get to know everyone as well and as much as I possibly could. I came in knowing I was going to lay it all out there for all of you to see. I had no idea if all of the rest would do the same, or be much more guarded. Well, I got my answer!! So, I say that for me, this game has been a success. I can’t control winning or not, and wanting a nice person to win…well no matter what, a nice person will win. It matters not if it’s a man or a woman. I’ not concerned with the gender of the winner. I have found new friends---and real friends are always a rich find. That I didn’t expect out of game----I only hoped it could happen. It is a weird feeling. I will be saying so long to some of you for only 2 days….all of Sunday, and part of Saturday and part of Monday. If I turn my head and look at the calendar on my wall only 6 feet away, it is clear to me that is a short period of time. I feel great about that and feel no sorrow. When I turn my head back to my monitor and put myself back in this virtual house, it no longer feels like it will be just a short time…even though it really is. I actually feel sorrow. That is so weird…and says volumes of either me being an idiot (we can’t rule that one out) or says volumes about how powerful we all made this game…how powerful something can become through thoughts and feelings. To each of you, I request that you give admin permission to forward your email addresses to me, and I will do the same. I was dead serious about wanting to keep in contact with each and every one of you. Some way, some how, it will be a short good bye between some of us. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have met and gotten to know each and every one of you. Optics, Kino1234, Zelda, Dilligaf…I am your friend Lance Crossfire, or Gregg if you wish. It has been wonderful getting to know you, and hope it is only the beginning of a great journey for each of us. |
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