Multiple Minds---Multiple Questions

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Arreal

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 07:00 pm Click here to edit this post
This threads for you Vyk. You asked for it and you got Ask away my friend.

Vyk asked that I start a specific thread about mutliples. He has questions he wanted to ask.
I thought we could just make it a thread to ask each other questions. So here it is. :)

Xenia

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 08:11 pm Click here to edit this post
And if any of you ask Arreal any stupid or disrespectful question I will be all over your ass.

(The above is directed to Zeb and Vykin the more "challenged" people around here...)

Zebulon

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 08:50 pm Click here to edit this post
Xenia, you know you love me and couldn't stand to be in here without me. You're so sexy when you make unwarranted personal attacks.

<smoochies and tons of hugs>

Arreal

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 09:00 pm Click here to edit this post
I want some too Zeb!!!!!

Zebulon

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 10:15 pm Click here to edit this post
Hi Arreal! I keep missing you in the conversations. What did you think about the chat today?

Arreal

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 11:12 pm Click here to edit this post
I thought it went by very fast, to many different conversations going at once, the typing was slow...overall it was Great. :)

A few negative thing towards me, not too bad. I answered a few questions, then sat back and watched the conversation scroll by. When's the next one?

I thought you would for sure nominate me since you are the great and powerful obnoxious one. :)
Surprise! Surprise! huh?

And what did you think?

Roger_Ramjet

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 11:15 pm Click here to edit this post
Arreal--we are just moving from challenge to outside--well some of us are!! Would you like to join us and talk?? I have some questions for you about the chat if you are willing to address.

Vykin

Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 12:31 am Click here to edit this post
Arreal thanx much for setting this folder up. I need to get to sleep right now, but I'm coming here first thing in the morning to post some questions for you. You don't have to answer what you don't want to. I guess for starters, I'm curious when you first realized you had multiple personalities, and perhaps what triggered them off. How difficult it's been to live with them. I am fascinated, never met anyone with a condition such as this.

Arreal

Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 12:33 pm Click here to edit this post
I first became aware of the voice of Lucy 8 years ago, around this time of year actually. I could hear her in my head telling me how "bad" I was. A few months later Steffi surfaced. I was aware of the voices in my head, not the disorder. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with DID (disociative identity disorder) I have fugues, not full personalities.

Fugues are personality parts. In my case they are more one or two emotions.

Lucy--shame, guilt. She is also the closetest to being a full personality. She experience pleasure, joy and has definite likes.

Nobody--that is her name. She is 12 years old.
and the blabber mouth, tattle-tale of the bunch.
She would tell anyone everything. She was truth.
(My therapists believes she knows all the forgotten memories of me)

Costello--is a 15 year old boy who tries to take care of Lucy. He is also Anxiety.

Steffi--angry, rebellious 17 yr old. Her and Lucy are some how connected. These two are also the two who remain active.

Jen--is depression, she also aged when I did.

The Confused One--male, ageless...his name pretty much says what he was.

tiffany--angelic, safe, peaceful place for me and all the others.

There was also a baby boy who showed signs of sexual abuse. Don't know much about this one, he hasn't been around in three years.

Another male--seemed very stubborn and angry. Has only surfaced once.

I guess that is a short explaination of all of them. I was wrong saying 8--with the new male coming only once, I think I forgot him.


What Triggered them?--probably stress, a bad marriage with lots of yelling and finger pointing.
And hormonal fluctuation. Surgical Menopause.

Difficulty living with them, hmm...at first they were very frustrating. Lucy in my head telling me how rotten of a person I was, I hated her and thought her voice would drive me nuts. When Lucy and I came to a mental truce, things got better.

Before I was DX with the illness, I think it was more frustrating for my spouse or family. I wasn't aware that they came out and did stuff.
When I came back from a switch, I was very confused, tired and had a headache. I wondered what happened and had no memory of what had happened.

When therapy for the others started I was often hypnotized and learned about each of them. I was given back certain memeories from childhood and I had to learn to accept them as me.

Steffi is the hardest one for me to accept. I was taught expression of anger is punishable, always. Anger is bad and wrong. To integrate Steffi, I have to be totally willing to accept that I can experience anger and rage...without being a horrible person. It is getting better...Steffi has been out in a year. I can sense her trying to take control...but I persist on saying "I am mad,." That tends to keep her from coming out and taking responsibility for the angry part of me.

It also helped when Steffi called my mom one day and totally went off on her. Cursing, yelling and being a total b*tch to my mom. I think that got a great deal of MY anger out.

I don't want to let Lucy integrate yet. I consider her my friend. She is the child in me that never got to be a child and play or have fun.
she will probably never be completely gone, as we all have a child in us. I hope she doesn't go away...but perhaps I can someday see the beauty and awe in everything, through the eyes of a child.

Vykin

Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 09:45 pm Click here to edit this post
Thank you arreal. What is hypnosis like?

Arreal

Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 09:51 pm Click here to edit this post
It was weird. When I was hypnotized she brought on of the others out. They would talk and think...under hypnosis I was aware of the others. I got to know them. It was cool. When she hypnotized the Baby to come out...I had an aberaction. My body reacted like the babies did while going thru the abusive situation. I was able to hear and feel it.

It was weird, interesting. I feared learning the memories, but it aided in my healing.

Vykin

Thursday, October 12, 2000 - 03:40 pm Click here to edit this post
I am very happy that you are healed arreal, it must have been one heck of a ride.

Arreal

Thursday, October 12, 2000 - 04:06 pm Click here to edit this post
I'm by no means healed, but I'm off to a good start. Thanks Vyk HUGS