Archive through October 18, 2000

The ClubHouse: The Game - Discussion Room: Live Feeds......: Archive through October 18, 2000

Sandyc

Sunday, October 15, 2000 - 10:21 pm Click here to edit this post
ONE LAST POST -- 10:15 pm
ZEB VISITS THE CHURCH -- HIS POST STARTS OFF:

In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth...

And the Earth was without form, and void,
And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And so God created Man in His own image;

(AND IT'S A LONG ONE BUT FUN...) Goodnight!

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 09:41 am Click here to edit this post
Archive through Sun. Oct 15 - Mon. 16
10:10 PM - 12:35 AM

General Discussions
Homosexuality & Issues: Pros/Cons?


Luke
Sunday, October 15 - 10:23 pm

To Roger... You've spent some time thinking about how people treat people who are different. As a gay person and as a human being I thank you and I commend you. People just don't give enough thought to different things, about how how our differences are simply differences. You've been able to see beyond that and that's a very admirable. I've addressed the topic that obviously speaks to me the most in this discussion forum. Since I came into this house, I've admired you. Your qualities remind me of mentors I've had. Out of the experience in this virtual house, one of the most positive will have been to meet you.

To others... There's a lot of wisdom in these posts... Regardless of the bitching. There's a lot that can be learned about ourselves and how human beings interact with each other. Our differences don't need to divide us and the more we learn about other people's viewpoints the more we grow and mature.

The Virtual House
The Hot Tub


Luke 10:10 pm
Looks like you've got some fans, Roger! Nice banner!

Roger_Ramjet
Very nice folks, they just had the misfortune of misplacing their glasses.

Arreal
Really tired actually... been a long day.

Moondance
Glad to have you here Luke

Luke
I'm going to be in here for a while. I owe it though. Weekends are difficult for me. Had to play at church services and attend social functions. Sunday nights are when I calm down, sit at computer and sip some wine. How is the mood in the house?

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, the mood is pretty damn good!

Luke
Woo hoo! I just posted a semi-long thread and got 0 spelling errors during the spell check! It's still 9 in the house, right?

Moondance
You have been one busy piano man! The mood? lol That's the rollercoaster you see in the backyard!

Roger_Ramjet
Moon, it's smoothed out till the next time and since we are all human I expect there will be a next time. lol

Moondance
That's why I call it a rollercoaster. Things seem to worked themselves out.

Luke
That's awesome that things have worked out. I regret not being around this weekned. This past weekend it was a killer! I hope I'll be able to catch up to the rest of the group.

Moondance
I am just glad that you are here. You might have been gone some but you still have taken the time to bond and give some very insightful posts!

Luke
I'm going to take as much advantage as I can to get to know everyone in here. Hopefully this week will be smoother.

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, the amount of participation may not be the measure of your value. Who knows what you may learn OR what you may teach us by the time it's all over!

Vykin
10:58 pm
Luke you're here. Hi Rog. Luke, mood's been great today -- though xenia hasn't arrived yet. Did any of you read Zebulon's post in the Church, its hysterical!

Luke
I'm reading it now Vykin! Cool fansites, dude!

Moondance
Vy, that was funny! What did happen to Arreal?

Roger_Ramjet
I've missed having Xenia around today. Arreal, did you fall asleep at your computer again?

Moondance
I hope she isn't having problems with it again. I would like Xenia to stop by too!

Roger_Ramjet
Ok, who's left?

Vykin
I thought arreal was on but she may have gone to bed or just away from puter for a bit.

Moondance
11:16 pm
I have to get up early so I think I am heading to bed! Sweet Dreams Roger, Vy & Luke.

LukeRoger and Vykin say goodnights to Moondance.

Vykin
I may be off to bed shortly. My right shoulder is just killing me. Roger did you ever have your swords appraised?

Roger_Ramjet
Vyk, they are replicas. A couple hundred each so far.

Luke
Which room do you think would catch me up better? The hot tub or the living room?

Vykin
There are lots of topics but its nice to see new posts. Officially we only have to respond to the ones Host gives us. Rog, I know you enjoy being in the livingroom/hot tub area. Others go other places. I think there's enough room in here that we shouldn't get bored. Enough variety in here for everyone. It all depends on when we have the time. Later this week I have some business to take care of so I may be missing for awhile each day.

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, if you are looking for the past two days, probably the LR if you had to pick between the two.

Vykin
11:38 pm
Well guys, I really have to go to bed. Hope Arreal comes on and keeps u company. Have a good one!

Luke
Peace Vykin.

Roger_Ramjet
Vyk, have a great night and see you tomorrow. I might not be around too much during work hours. I'll see if I can sneak in for a visit.

Luke
Roger, I can contribute the most during the day. I spend 8+ hours online during work days. It's evenings and weekends when I'm running around and that's when all you guys are having fun! It seems you're really having a good experience here. You've really gotten into the "effect" of the household.

Roger_Ramjet
I think there are a couple of people who are online during the day. Fun! A couple of nights ago it wasn't too fun! Then again, tonight has been fun! For me it's the atmosphere that makes it what it is and it happens at night for me. Maybe for others it could happen at a different time.

For me it's easy to get into it, maybe too easy. I use pictures in my mind, try to think of BB and what realizations were there I don't use the Internet Cam convos, because I can't hear them. As weird as this sounds, I use my feelings even more than my mind. My mind allows me to block everything off, and slip into this "house". My feelings help me experience it as if I was with all of you. What have you gotten out of it so far? Do you feel them looking in on us?

Luke
12:00 am
I know what you mean. There's an interesting thread on domestic violence that I'm preparing a comment on. That'll take some time for me to formulate. You going to be on later? I gotta take care of some stuff for a little bit. If so I'll chat with you in a bit but if not have a great eve, Roger!

General Discussions
Topic # 6 - Domestic Abuse


Roger_Ramjet
Monday, October 16, 2000 - 12:35 am

I was going to have a long discussion on this however Arreal said everything I wanted to say! LOL It isn't a cop-out on my part, she really captured my thoughts. The only perspetive I have is that of an ex-EMT. I never get a call for domestic violence on others but when you walk into a house you can feel things. It's the feelings that have no way of being verified. How would I like it if someone called the cops on me for just a feeling? A ruined reputation/life for just the accusation!

How would I like it if I was that EMT who didn't call and someone was killed or hurt later from this type of problem? No easy answers for this at all! And, yes, I admit that liability counts in our minds. Just a perspective. If you figure an answer out that is better than lose/lose please spread the word and be prepared to win the Nobel Peace Prize!

One thing I'd like to bring up that hasn't been talked about too much so far... Domestic violence against men. Society has a thought about men who say they have experienced this. Let's see -- Wuss, wimp, whiner, loser, p#ssy whipped, cry baby, candy ass. I'll stop there.

I work with a woman who loves her husband dearly. When she jokes around with the guys, she hits them, yet feels the same thing the other way is not acceptable. I asked her why it was ok to hit guys and not to hit women in play. Her comment was; "It's ok because we can't hurt you and as long as it doesn't hurt there is nothing wrong with it." I didn't agree with that. She thought I was being a wet blanket.

Seems there is still a belief that men don't feel pain, that we can "take it like a man". It needs to be known that anyone can be affected by words or by objects striking them with force.

I said it wouldn't be long, I guess you have Arreal to thank for capturing my other thoughts so very well. At least I can't be accused of not taking part!

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 11:11 am Click here to edit this post
Monday 16
12:00 AM - 2:30 AM

The Virtual House
The Hot Tub


Luke
12:01 am
Roger, I wanna respond to your last post.


Roger_Ramjet
I'll be here for awhile. I'll wait for you Luke.

Luke
I'm back. You still here? I'm reading your post. What is an EMT?

Roger_Ramjet
Here! Posting on a discussion topic! Emergency Medical Technician---paramedic in some parts of the country.

Luke
So you've seen the after effects of Domestic Violence. I love reading your posts. You said, "As weird as this sounds, I use my feelings even more than my mind." wow. I kinda figured you for the biggest T (as compared to an F) and I looked back and you said you were an ISTJ. Are you borderline T? (ed. referring to Personality type)

Roger_Ramjet
Hard core T! The feeling thing is needed to get the great effect, thinking only gets part of it. Most of the actions I take in the majority of life have been done through T. The resaons behind them are F. I'm weird, I'm told that all the time! LOL

Luke
I've been thinking a lot about ArReal and the whole Friday experience. I've thought about you and your insightful posts. I've thought a lot about myself and what is possessing me to stay up nights with all of you and I've thought a lot about my friends. When I tell them about this experience they become convinced that I should be institutionalized!

These are the types of experiences that I'll be looking back on 10 years from now. So I've gotten an experience of a lifetime and I wouldn't pass this up for anything right now.

Roger_Ramjet
I haven't told anyone I'm doing this as most everyone already feels I should be put away! Great point about what you've gotten out of it! Imagine what it would be like on BB for 90+ days! The experiences one could take part in! This is minor compared to that potential. Maybe it isn't though. This can be VERY intense.

Luke
Most of the people I click with on the deepest level have been T's. I sometimes wonder why because I am so extreme on the F scale. Maybe it's a complimentary kinda thing or maybe it's my desire to start using my brain more than my heart. I've gotten into too much trouble making decisions based on feelings rather than on reason.

Roger_Ramjet
I wonder why I can make a connection with some so well. It's a mystery to me so far.

Luke
I've could figure out a lot of stuff mentally when I set my mind to it. But when it comes down to the way I interact with others and deal with issues within relationships, any pragmatic knowledge I have goes flying out the window! I usually give in to what I'm feeling at the moment; whether that be elation, lust, jealousy, or the whole bit.

As for the interaction with people in this house, I don't know. It's a different type of venue where I usually can think about what I'm about to say before my foot is already halfway into my mouth.

Luke
Have you ever delved into Psychology? My ex-boyfriend was studying for a counseling psych degree and your well-rounded approach to things kinda made me wonder.

Roger_Ramjet
I took the required year long sequence at college for my degree. I just had something else in mind as far as schooling. Got cut short by higher priorities. At the time, it ws my first major failure in my life. It's lead me to a good job though. After that, I just enjoyed it on my own terms, along with the "philosophy of life" thing I mention frequently.

Luke
My bachelors is in Philosophy. I am a credit or 2 shy of a double major with Philosophy and Spanish but I usually say I double majored. Grad studies in religious studies.

I feel like I had some education in counseling psych because for 2 years that I shared with my ex our apartment was practically turned into a library of books on the subject.

Roger_Ramjet
I'm not bright enough to wait to think about it before posting. I do this pretty much the same as I do in life, respond while thinking about it. Sometimes I'll pause to give consideration. I also write the way the words come out in my mind, very strange sometimes. lol

Luke
1:15 am
Lemme know when you're ready to turn in. I've got only about 15-20 mins left of juice in me anyway.

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, I'll be here until you need to go.

Luke
I have a BA in Philosophy and I live in Silicon Valley. What the heck is Philosophy good for in Silicon Valley? lunch time conversation. That's about it.

Roger_Ramjet
With that background you must be having a great time thinking of what you learned or experienced! May explain your posts that go well below the surface of things like you've been there lots before! Religion and philosophy--- are they that much different from each other? lol


Luke
Been there before? Maybe I'm still in that immature stage that wants to experience all of life's conflicts firsthand. The kind of religion that I studied has all of its foundations in classical greek philosophy. (those greeks. not only were they queens, they were also great thinkers!)

Roger_Ramjet
Excellent insight on the Greeks! I think the same way about the Chinese! Warrior/philosopher is what Sun Tzu was, what a great job title!

Roger_Ramjet
1:20 am
As Arreal and I have discussed, what do you think of doing this late night talk? We thought it's a great way to end our day. What do you think.. or feel?

Luke
I love late night conversations. That kinda describes the majority of my interactions with friends/guys throughout my college years. I'm going to try and frequent these boards every night this week.

Roger_Ramjet
Every once in awhile I look at the times the folks outside post. The only time I really am aware of them is when it's this time of night. There has always been posts by them as long as the late night talks go on! I have no idea if they like them. For all we know this could be comedy to them, thinking back to what everyone had to say about the HGs.

Luke
I've noticed the numbers steadily increase. That's the only thing that keeps me wondering, the fact that I haven't heard anything so far through banners or websites or even during last week's chat session is giving me a sense of security that I'll be the houseguest that'll fall into obscurity after we get outta here.

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, with your background in philosophy, I pose this question I thought of because of your "ancient society" insight: Why is it that with as many great societies as there has been, why can't we learn from all the mistakes and avoid making them time after time? A parting thought to sleep on. hehehe

Luke
Mmmmm, I'm feeling the tiredness start to creep up on me. Tomorrow is the big chat session with all of us in the room. I wonder what our reward will be if we win this next challenge.

Roger_Ramjet
Reward? The secrets of life? We seem to be good at causing death!

Luke
That is definitely a question to sleep on. Among the many contributing factors, one may be that we're unwilling to admit when we're wrong. We need to learn and grow but we tend to think we already have all the answers. I see that happening all over, even in this virtual house. I hate admitting when I'm wrong. It's embarrassing, but when I refuse to admit that I'm wrong, I also close the opportunity for learning and growth.

Roger_Ramjet
You indicated you where tired and wanted to turn in. I will let you do that. I always walk away from these feeling very relaxed. I have greatly enjoyed our talk tonight. I hope you are able to join in on future ones!

Luke
I think I'm gonna do my brief redroom for the night and hit the sack. Are you sticking around? You'll be in the chat tomorrow night, right?

Roger_Ramjet
With everyone gone, I'll probably turn in. I'll be in chat. I was dizzy from the last one!

Luke
1:50 am
Yeah... you can definitely count on more of these late night convo's. I like chatting with you too. It's kinda fun to imagine what all of you look like, those who haven't posted any pictures. Especially when all you have to go on are conversations and no physical characteristics at all! That's why I would love to meet all of you someday and have all of you hear me say, "Oh my God! I totally imagined you to look like..."

Roger_Ramjet
LOL! Have a good night. 14 more days, I'm looking forward to it.

Luke
1:55 am
Qué pases muy buenas noches, amigo mío!

Roger_Ramjet
2:06 am
<<getting out of the hot tub after a great talk with Luke, I am thinking about the future of humanity, talking to myself as I head off to bed for a few hours>>

"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the kind of car I drove but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."

If the human race is to survive.

Xenia
2:17 am
Hey you guys.I just wanted to leave a quick post to apologize for not being around for the challenge. Yet again, it was an obvious answer that I wouldn't have gotten. Congratulations guys!


The Internet Camera
Vykin
12:18 am
Dedicated to Today's First Banished Inmate:

ThePrez has slept thru the late nite address. But we are sure you are in the prez's dreams.

Local Viewers we'll begin the concert with Con Te Partiro, also featuring the english version, Time To Say Goodbye with Sarah Brightman:

Quando sono solo
sogno all'orizzonte
e mancan le parole,
si lo so che non c'e luce
in una stanza quando manca il sole,
se non ci sei tu con me.
Su le finestre
Mostra a Tutti il mio cuore
che hai acceso
chiudi dentro me
la luce che
hai cincontrato per strada

Ah heck! Here's the link: (realplayer sound)


Xenia
2:15 am
"Players are required to register at least one post per day on the topic in the Play Room area, dedicated to the Players only." Boo!

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 11:24 am Click here to edit this post
Monday 16
4:20 AM - 10:30 AM

The Internet Camera

Himay10ns
4:18 am
Good morning everyone. Looks like I'm the only one up. The Time Zone thing really sucks for me. I'm always the first one to go to bed and I miss out on so much. Some of the other BGs keep making comments like they don't know me that well. I think this is the reason.

So here I am, the first one awake and no one to talk to. I just can't force myself to stay up knowing that I get up at 5 am. I have to rely on the conversations that I have during the day and early evening. I hope everyone understands.

I'm going to jump in the shower and head off to work. It's chilly and raining here this morning, yucky Monday. I'll see you guys later in the live show. I'm a little nervous about banishment tonight. Everyone is getting along so well and our conversations have really been productive. Oh well, it's part of the game. Have a good day everyone. Save the Pickle!

Xenia
5:19 am
Psssst! Can you still vote? If so, VOTE ME OUT! A new Mercury retrograde begins on the 18th and if I have to continue participating in this farce through a Mercury retrograde I will seriously lose my mind.

Arreal
9:22 am
HEY! People of the other side, Good morning. We got a call late last night from the guy who is working on the other puter. Looks like my hubby burned out the CD drive playing video games. No hope there. The guy also said that he was going to try to re-boot the whole system from start to finish. He wanted to know if there was any files we wanted to save. Of course I had to say "Save my AOL!" He is going to try. If that doesn't work then the computer truly died from old age and over-use.

I went to bed early last night to get sleep for our big night out of the boards. That big 10 letter word is lurking over the heads of many of us. BANISHMENT! Oh the disgrace of being the first, of being associated with Mega... quick-- the smelling salts. Sorry. I get a little light headed at the thought of being banished.

I'm not afraid of banishment. I'm not afraid of banishment. I'm not afraid of banishment. (Just a little self talk to help me face my fears)

I am pleased to tell you that the hurt that went on in here due to my speculation about Vyk and my abuse of Tali's trust is behind hind us. Tali and I hugged and made up last night. That really lightened my heart and my load.

"I love little baby ducks, old pick up trucks and I love you too." ~Tom T. Hall. hehehe

I feel like these posts are my personal diary, my brain spew.
I start typing and get so wrapped up in my thoughts spilling forth that when I'm done I have no idea what I wrote. Weird.

Anyway, things are going good for me this morning. I got my espresso, my smokes, my bird is upstairs chirping and the house is quiet and calm. Life is good. For all of you out there-- Live, laugh, forgive, love! Xenia, there can be only one!

Moondance
10:28 am
Good Morning All! Things are going smoother so that is GREAT! I haven't stopped by to say Hi in a while so I wanted to let you know that I am having fun and looking forward to tonight's chat! Hope everyone is having fun with us hamsters. BTW you have to check out the Hamster dance. It's so funny! Have a great Day and I will see ya tonight!

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 12:14 pm Click here to edit this post
Monday 16
4:20 AM - 11:55 AM

The Virtual House

Living Room

Himay10ns
4:20 am
Good morning BGs! I have been catching up on last night's late night convos. I sure do miss a lot being time zone challenged.

There is one thing I wanted to clear up about the Internet Camera. Several of you have made reference to the fact that you can't "see" these posts or aren't supposed to. Don't you remember in the BB house that the HGs would just sit on the table in the dining room and talk to the cameras? The other HGs were always around and could hear everything they were saying.
This is the image that I get when I talk to the Internet Camera. I don't say anything that I wouldn't want you to hear so feel free to comment on my Internet Camera posts. If there is something that I do not wish to share, I say it in the RR. Just my two cents. Have a good day and I'll see you guys later. And BTW, GREAT JOB ON THE CHALLENGE! WooHoo!

Talisker
5:12 am
Hi there May! I am awake and around for a few more minutes. I am time zoned challenged also but not nearly as bad as you! In case I don't run into you before I leave, have a great day!

Roger_Ramjet
9:11 am
May, you have a great point. I will take a closer look as I'm one you mention. When I've been in the bathroom, the hot tub or asleep when others have talked to the camera, I'm comfortable saying I can't hear the input. During times I'm around the house in general, you have an excellent point. Hope you and Tali are having a good day, will talk to you later.

Internet Camera

Arreal
11:06 am
Oops.. I'm back. I totally spaced off something REALLY important.

(((Katie))) (((Tom))) (((Whit))) (((B*itches)))
hehehe (((Honorary B*itch))) Too funny. Love to you all.

[ed. Honorary B*itch... hmm]


Living Room

Luke
10:33 am
Good morning, good morning! Sunbeams are shining through! Good morning, good morning to you and you and you and you. Hello all! It's monday morning. Anyone around?

Moondance
10:42 am
Luke, I just left you a message in the Hot Tub! Good Morning to you!

Luke
We must be passing each other running back and forth between the hot tub and here! hehehe

Moondance
I have a lot to catch up on around the house!

Luke
Roger and I were talking last night. I'm working on a long response for the domestic violence topic. Congrats on the challenge! I can't wait to see what our reward is going to be. By the way, that's a really cool promo pic. Were you in acting?

Moondance
I am -- that is my commercial headshot. What line of work do you do?

Luke
My day job is for an internet company here in the heart of Silicon Valley, that's where I am right now and that's why I participate most on the boards during the day! I'm a total Liberal Arts major kinda guy (languages and music), so I basically surf the web all day in different languages. Fun, huh! On weekends I do music... a lot of church stuff, weddings, stuff like that. I've done editorial work for a magzine and I used to write for them. I'll probably go back to school but most likely it'll be out of the country for international business.

Moondance
So you are smart and talented! Musicians and actors! I am a personal exercise trainer for my other income but I love both!

Luke
That's cool. In the entertainment business have you met a lot of gay people?

Moondance
I think California in general is a more tolerant place so it is wondeful that all people have more of a chance to succeed.

Have I met a lot of gay people? Yes! That has never mattered to me either way. of course if I want to date a man that is gay -- that's when it matters. (she smiles)

Luke
I love california too. I'm relatively new to the Bay Area. Before then it was all Southern California, more specifically, Glendale, Pasadena, Burbank... do you know the area?

Moondance
11:27 am
I take classes in Burbank. My ex is from that area too. Pasadena is so beautiful with some of the old homes & gardens. I wish you didn't move, we could get together but San Fran is great. I visited a few years ago.

Luke
Talk about a small world! I used to live right off Glenaoks before I moved up here! Are you excited about tonight? I cancelled a meeting just so I could be available for the live chat! I wonder what our prize is going to be!

Moondance
11:38 am
Yes it is a small world. You know you are welcome to stay at my place anytime you are visiting. I live in Venice Canals. Tonight I have class that starts at 6:30 pm so I am taking my lap top and sneaking out for at least 20 minutes.

Luke
11:45 am
Hahaha! During last week's chat I was sitting with my laptop in the middle of a meeting. Everyone thought I was just very dilligently taking notes when I was really chatting with all of you! Where were you born? Did you grow up in So. Cal? I spent the first 24 years of my life basically around that area.

Moondance
11:49 am
I was born in Kentucky. Lived in Tennesse, Arkansas, Ohio then California. It was culture shock from Arkansas! I love California the best. I told my Mom when I was six that I was moving to LA.

Luke
Wow. Do you consider yourself a country girl? I've been dying to see those states. I hardly know any of the midwest or the south at all. It's funny but I've travelled more extensively over other countries than I have here in the US.

Moondance
So what High School did you go to? Did you go to USC or UCLA?

Luke
11:55 am
I went to Hoover High School in Glendale, and also Crescenta Valley HS in La Crescenta then I went a small private college, Ventura County.

I'm reading the living room conversations the weekend. Wow! There was some real serious chatting going on here... you can see how the mood got better. I am seriously wondering if Friday's emotional roller-coaster had anything to do with the fact that it was Friday 13th!

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 12:30 pm Click here to edit this post
Monday 16
12:10 PM - 12:25 PM

The Virtual House
Living Room

12:10 pm
Moondance
Yes, it was a Friday the 13th kind of a day! I am just glad things worked out! I studied at University of Arkansas, University of Cincinnati and Xavier. Yes, a little bit country. Mid-western and a touch of trailer.

I have traveled and have seen most of the US but only have been to Mexico for my International travel. woohoo! But I am getting the travel bug! Where is your favorite place you've been?

12:25 pm
Luke
Favorite place? Spain. I wrote about it in the travel discussion. It was so great because it was the first major trip I took by myself and I got to meet a lot of people in another country all by myself! Mexico, that's one country I've visited more than the US! My first boyfriend was from Mexico and we always travelled down there. Ugh! Stomach is calling for me to give it some attention. I'll be back in an hour.

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 02:36 pm Click here to edit this post
Monday 16

General Discussions
Topic # 6 - Domestic Abuse

Arreal
My father, 14 years ago said:
"To feel control I would abuse. It gave me feelings of power and control... Then I would feel shame and guilt... I would hate myself for what I had done. Again I would feel no control so I would abuse again. The cycle never seemed to end."

I think what my father said is true for many abusers. Growing up in a family that was abusive was unhealthy. My brother recalls my parents fighting and screaming at each. I have no memories of them fighting. I have memories of my "perfect family."} From the inside I thought we were the normal, happy Christian family. We went to church, my father taught sunday school and AWANA. We had missionaries from all over the world staying at our house at various times. We kids had 4-H, hockey, music lessons. No one cussed, no one drank, no one thought of doing drugs. We had family night where we would sit around and play board games or card games. The five of us would always sit down for supper at 5:30 pm.

From the outside people saw a good Christian family. I thought it was weird that other kids didn't get spanked or do chores like I did.

Looking back, I see a brother who hid in his room most of the time, he had no friends. He was afraid. As an adult, he has lost all three of his children. He is passive and has no real goals in life. He has no friends and no self-esteem.

My sister was very quiet, terrified. Now my sister is a very bitter person who refuses to speak to my father. She lies so much she doesn't know what reality is. Her children are terrified of her temper and spankings. They whisper all the time.

I was the black sheep. I learned that no matter what I did, I would get into trouble so I did what I wanted. I was always in trouble. Me as an adult, well you know all about me.

The only one of us children who had to get counseling was my sister. But she fought it all the way and lied constantly to the conselors. She got no help.

I had to see a counselor once. It was court ordered. The counselor told me that he couldn't do anything in one session so there was no help he could give me. I was fine with that.

Not one of us kids in my family is "okay." My behavior should have given my family away. Things might have been different if a teacher had looked into my suicidal writings and said, "No second grader should be writing this stuff."

Our bruises were hidden. Our souls were crushed. Our family remained perfect to the outside world. For us kids the hell goes on through adulthood. For my parents the guilt will never end. For the world who sees us, no one will ever know.

My point in sharing is this: The kids have to be reached. The outside world doesn't always know. We need to take the taboo away from seeking help as adults. We need to forgive the abusers also. Okay, I'm done rambling.

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 03:36 pm Click here to edit this post
Monday 16

General Discussions
Create your Passion

Roger_Ramjet
12:41 pm
Passion comes from within. I am most passionate about self awareness. It is the key to knowing anyone else. I approach everything with passion and intensity. I love my job. I love the goals of managing waste correctly and the individual tasks that allows us to have a level of success. I love the regulations even though at times I have thought them ridiculous. What bothers me is that people have acted in ways that require such strict regulations.

There is something special about someone who has passion for something. There is an energy flow that is hard to describe. Things happen because of such people and humans seem to be at their best when passion is in play.

People who have passions feel better about themselves. They can be part of something or someone. For Moon it is the the stage. Luke his music. Notice how life's energies flow when they talk about these subjects. Powerful stuff that we see in just our interaction in less than two weeks.

Passion takes energy, although it also gives energy. It is what allows us to draw on whatever we have within ourselves and to use it in a focused manner. Passion takes away the emptiness that can fill a life. Passion can provide direction for a lost soul. Passion can give meaning to something that seems to have no meaning.

How does one get passion? That is a question that has a different answer for everyone. What is your calling? What do you truly love? What means so much to you that your life wouldn't be the same if it were gone? What brings warmth to your heart and a smile on your face? Those things would be your passion.

The Improv

Moondance tells a joke about two blind pilots that scare the passengers at take-off.

Punchline: In cockpit the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know Bob, one of these days they're going to scream too late and we're all gonna die!"

Moondance tells a joke about a Dear God letter from a little boy asking God for $100 addressed to to "God, USA"

The postal authorities decided to send it to the President. The president instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. The little boy immediately sat down to write a thank-you note to God.
Dear God,
Thank you for sending me the money! However, for some reason you had to send it through Washington DC and as usual those bastards taxed it by 95 percent.
1:35 pm
Roger_Ramjet posts a joke: How are women's breasts and model trains alike?
Punchline: Both are meant for little kids, although it's usually the fathers that play with them.

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 04:16 pm Click here to edit this post
Monday 16
12:30 PM - 3:00 PM

The Virtual House
Living Room

Arreal
I just wanted to pop in and say hi. It's difficult for me to hold on to a conversation when it takes so long but I'm lurking and listening.

Moondance
I know what you mean Arreal, my computer is so slow today. I have to dump some stuff! When do you get your other computer back?

Roger_Ramjet
Just passing through at work, and want to say hi!

Moondance and Roger_Ramjet engage in "unrelated jabber." (quote by Digilady.)

Moondance
Roger, I just read your post in the passion thread. That was beautiful!

Roger_Ramjet
Thanks Moon. I'm passionate about passion. It's a very big part of me.

Moondance
You put it into words so well. I loved your chat with luke last night -- interesting.

Roger_Ramjet
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Well, I guess you didn't say that.. glad you found it interesting! Thanks for the kind words.

Moondance
I enjoyed too! Roger Rabbit.

Roger_Ramjet
Roger Rabbit? huh? I'm easily confused today. No wait, that's every day! LOL

Moondance
Roger Rabbit is another cartoon character, just being funny.

Roger_Ramjet
Cartoon? Roger Ramjet is an animated action adventure series! Oh wait, that's a cartoon! LOL

Moondance
Roger, step away from the chemicals!

1:40 pm
Himay10ns
Hi everyone! It's definitely been a Monday around the clinic today! Lot's of patients and tons of meetings to go to. Not to mention payroll. But, today is Boss's Day and my employees gave me some wonderful gifts and a plant and a sweet card signed by everyone! It's nice to feel special! Everybody ready for tonight? Suitcases packed? hehehe

Moondance
Happy Boss Day May!

Roger_Ramjet
May, nice to hear that they took time out to give you a little positive attention. Good things can happen on a Monday! It's always nice to have someone let you know that you're special.

Himay10ns
Thanks Moon! You are so right Roger!

Luke
It's Boss Day today? I'd say Happy Boss Day to my boss, but he called in sick. I had a great tuna salad bagle with some chips and potato salad for lunch.

Himay10ns
That sounds good Luke. We had lunch catered in the clinic today. Cajun chicken & dumplings; french bread; soaked salad; homemade chocolate chip cookies and sweet tea. Am I in the south or what?

Luke
I went to this awesome restaurant in Chicago called "Louisiana Cookin." The best cajun food I've ever eaten. Meal was Seafood Gumbo and Chicken Jambalaya. For dessert a delicious bread pudding served afloat in a pool of melted butter. Definitely one of the best dinners I've ever had.

Moondance
Okay... now I am hungry!

Luke
So what's your favorite type of food, Moon?

Moondance
Ben & Jerrys Ice cream! Anything Chocolate!

Luke
LOL Moon! But can Ben & Jerry's ice cream be considered as an entire meal? Hehehe

Moondance
A bubble bath, candles, me, Ben & Jerry!

Himay10ns
2:15 pm
My favorite meal would have to be veal piccata over angel hair pasta and a nice glass of champagne Mmmmm!

Roger_Ramjet
2:09 pm
I'm checking in now and then as work allows. I'll get you Luke for talking about that meal! That wasn't fair! One of my bosses is at a funeral. I'll have to write the other one and say something nice to him. Geez, he won't know it's me! LOL.

Luke
Hey Roger! Busy at work today? I should be feeling kinda sleepy right about now. I just got done with lunch so it's nap-time. How is your day going?

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, going ok. May, Veal piccata! Great choice! Dom for the champagne! Or Dom with crackers/cream cheese and red pepper jelly! Brings out the taste of the champagne better than strawberries!

Luke
No way! I've never tried that Roger! Okay, who's bringing the Dom for tonite's chat?

Himay10ns
2:17 pm
It's quittin' time for me! I'm on my way home. I'll see you guys in a few minutes, it only takes me about 15 minutes to get home. Do you think this chat thing is gonna work tonight?? Big Host says that only the players can chat but the fans can come in the chat room and lurk. Do you really think the fans are going to keep quiet? I just wonder how it's going to work.

Luke
Maybe they fixed it so that only we will have posting privileges. I don't know how they'd do that though. I'm just looking forward to chatting on a more instantaneous level. Hope all of us can show up.

Moondance
Bye May. See you when you get back.

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 04:32 pm Click here to edit this post
New Banner:
TALI - DON'T BE SO SURE YOU ARE THE ONE GOING!

The Virtual House
Living Room 3:00 PM - 3:25 PM

Luke
3:00 pm
Hey anyone awake in here? We've got a new web banner for Tali. Hmmmmm

Moondance
I just saw it Luke!

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, I just saw that! We shall soon see if it's in jest or they knew the answer. What are your thoughts?

Luke
First I thought Xenia was the one who was preparing herself to be banished. It seems she's been asking to be banished! But I don't want to speculate. I'd rather just find out at the moment everyone finds out.

Himay10ns
3:13 pm
Hi everyone! I'm back! I just cracked open a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. So cold! I'm starting to get nervous about tonight. I don't want to leave. This has been so much fun. Anybody else nervous? Has anyone else thought about what it will be like with three people? It will be so quiet around here. It's hard enough to keep conversations going with nine people!

Roger_Ramjet
May, Depends on the three! lol I'm ready for a Pete's Wicked Ale or Pete's Wicked lager! Or a Foster's! On draft! Ok, Diet Coke at work and I'm with you guys all evening!

Moondance
I am not finding it hard to keep conversations going in here. I usually find someone around. Especially Roger but it will be strange with another gone. It was different when Mantastic left too.

Himay10ns
Moon, I find because of the time zone difference that when I get up at 5:00am (3:00 am PST), no one is around. I usually can't find a conversation til midday and then I have to go to bed so early so I miss out on a lot. I think I'm the only one in CST. Perhaps in The Game2, Big Host will pick at least two people in the same time zone. I wouldn't feel so alone!

Noslonna

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 05:53 pm Click here to edit this post
Monday 16

The Virtual House
Living Room 3:55 PM - 5:40 PM

Zebulon
Hi everyone. I just got in from work. I posted a discussion topic and hope everyone can chime in their thoughts. What's everyone up to today?

Luke
4:02 pm
Am posting my response Zeb. Interesting topic, thanks!

Zebulon
4:21 pm
I guess we're having a live chat tonight. I wonder if it'll be packed and crazy like the last one?

Roger_Ramjet
4:25 pm
Will we go through a grieving period after banishment like the BB HGs did after Will and Jordan left? Wondering about banishment is merely part of the total entertainment package! LOL

Luke
4:30 pm
Strange. On the "Challenges" link shows as being updated today at 4:23 pm but when I click on it there's no post with today's date and that time. Hmm Maybe a ghost post!

Moondance
I noticed that too Luke!

Roger_Ramjet
I was looking at that just now figuring I still have that damn chlorinated water from the hot tub in my eyes! Curses!

Himay10ns
I did too. Maybe Big Host is working some magic. Getting ready for the live show tonight. We will find out our reward since we won the challenge. Wonder what it will be this time? Has anyone seen ArReal, Tali or Xenia? Seems like everyone else is here now.

Zebulon
I haven't seen those three in awhile. I think Xenia and Arreal are tired of being here and Tali is probably bummed because of her situation. I guess people are filtering themselves out by giving up.

Roger_Ramjet
I haven't seen those three either Zeb. I didn't get the impression Arreal was tired of being here. I think she's tired of her computer problems. Now Xenia on the other hand...

Moondance
4:36 pm
I am going to take off for class soon but I want to wish everyone Luck & Love. I will be sneaking out of class so I can get to the chat. If I am not there that means couldn't high-jack a phone line. GOOD LUCK!

Luke
4:37 pm
Hmmmm. Chat is at 7, I think I'm going to head home from the office and log-on from home. Catch you guys in about an hour, that'll be the length of my commute at this time of the afternoon!

Himay10ns
I just went back and read the nominations again. It's amazing how things change in just a few days. Since things have calmed down, it would be much harder for me to nominate today. I guess our next nominations will be due tomorrow. It's going to be tough!

Luke
4:45 pm
No way! You mean we have to nominate again by tomorrow? It's not something I look forward to doing. Do you think when there's only three people left in here our Host will come into the house just like Julie Chen did? I'll take Lisa over Julie Chen as a host any day!

Zebulon
For those that just showed up, I posted my first discussion topic. I hope you will all express your opinions.

Xenia
4:48 pm
That would be your dream come true, wouldn't it Zeb? Xenia quotes Zed: "I guess we're having a live chat tonight. I wonder if it'll be packed and crazy like the last one?" Do you not read? Tonight's chat is only for the BGs. People can join in but they can't participate. Geez.

Zebulon
I see you enjoy lurking more than participating Xenia. Anyway, what's up?

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, great to see you! Where have you been hiding? We've missed you! Well, I know I have.

Xenia
Hey Roger! Thanks, as always for the kindness. I had to seriously rethink my priorites and focus on work stuff and friends that I have been neglecting for almost four months now. I took the weekend to do that.

Zebulon
Life? The Game players are not supposed to have lives. That was in the contract. LOL! Ease up... what's your damage?

Xenia
Go f-ck yourself Zeb. How do you know I've been lurking and not, say, busy having a life?

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, are you having a bad day?

Xenia
Roger: No. Why do you ask? I'm excited! Three more hours then I am outta here!

Vykin
4:54 pm
Hi Zeb, Roger, Luke, Moon, Himays. I dont think anyone is tired of being here. Xenia seems to have been tied up with work last day or two but she's been in here fairly steady. Don't know where Arreal or Tali are but I'm sure everyone is getting ready for the chat tonite. I wasn't feeling so hot today so I thought I should get some sleep.

Xenia
Feel better Giblets. (sends smiley)

Vykin
I'm gonna go grab a quick shower and see if I can steal my sons new Roots Sydney 2000 Olympics Hoody to wear to the chat tonite. Can someone tell me why its necessary for a 17 yrd old to buy an $80 hoody that will be useless in less than a month when the snow falls? I can see him complaining in two weeks that he needs a ski jacket. They wonder why I'm broke? Zeb, I saw your folder, I plan to leave my thoughts there after chat tonite. See u all later.

Zebulon
Hey V! If you lived in Texas that hoody would be good throughout most of the winter.

Roger_Ramjet
Vyk, see ya in chat.

Zebulon
Xenia, why do you think that? You don't seem like the type of person to just give up. I could be wrong.

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia they are your priorities to re-think. What counts is doing what's right for you.

Himay10ns
5:02 pm
I'm wondering the same thing Xenia. You and I had the same amount of nominations. I could very well be the one to go tonight. If you don't go, will you hang out with everyone this week? Or are you burnt out?

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, I asked because you seem a little on edge. Hope your day is ok.

Xenia
5:10 pm
Himay, I would guess there are way more people who can't stand me and would want to see me go. I don't know how I'll behave if I have to stay. But the question is, will you interact more if you have to stay?

Himay10ns
5:20 pm
Xenia, I'm not making a conscious decision to NOT interact. I've explained that here usually isn't anyone awake when I get up in the morning and I have a hard time chatting during the day at work. I usually go to bed at 10pm , which is 8pm everyone else's time! So I miss out on a lot. It's not by choice but, like you, I have a life and I can't stay up into the wee hours jeopardizing my sleep patterns. Lack of sleep really affects my work day. So if I stay I will continue to do the best I can to stay involved in the game.

Roger_Ramjet
May, how much time do you have in the mornings for the game once you get up?

Himay10ns
5:26 pm
I get up about 45 minutes early just to catch up on all the conversations from the night before. I usually post an internet camera message like I did this morning. I get to work about 8am and wait until I see someone post. This morning it was almost 9:30 before there was any activity. I spent most of my day in meetings. When I signed on this afternoon, there were quite a few people here so I chatted for about an hour. I got right back on when I got home and I've been here every since. I'm doing what I can!

Zebulon
5:26 pm
Has anyone had a really good conversation on here that doesn't involve talking about why they can't be here, the nominations or banishment, or who isn't here? I say that with a smile.

Himay10ns
Zeb, it appears Luke and Roger had a great conversation last night. Most of the good convos seems to be late night. I notice Roger is involved in most of them.

Roger_Ramjet
I just didn't know if you had a chunk of time before you went to work. If you did, I would try and work things to be here at a time in your morning.

Himay10ns
5:30 pm
Roger, that's sweet. When the hell do you sleep! I usually find that I sign on in the morning right about the time everyone else has gone to bed.

Roger_Ramjet
When do I sleep? It varies, sometimes late, sometimes not at all. How do I do it? By desire.

Himay10ns
5:34 pm
Tali said Hi to me early this morning but by the time she got here I had to jump in the shower. I hate to be late to work. I have a lot of people that are counting on me! Monday's are the worst! We have so many walk-ins in the clinic. All the people that were seen in the Emergency Room over the weekend. It's chaos! We ran 5 clinics today. Saw about 150 patients in 8 hours. Running 24 rooms. But I love my job. It's challenging, stressful and rewarding all at the same time.

Roger_Ramjet
5:40 pm
Seems like the best jobs have that in common or at least according the person who really loves that job! I'll be back shortly, going to go get some food!

Petunia

Monday, October 16, 2000 - 09:47 pm Click here to edit this post
Testing - ignore me.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 01:33 am Click here to edit this post
Monday, October 16

The Virtual House: The Internet Camera

Luke
3:00 pm
I thought I'd come in here and practice my monologues. Last night, chatting with Roger I felt we bonded. I haven't talked with Zeb or Vykin a lot. It'll be great to see them all in chat.

We can all learn a lot in here if you look beyond the fights and name calling. I wish I know how all of you were viewing us. I've found myself thinking things like, "Well I don't know what the rest of the internet viewers are thinking anyway so I'd might as well open up about this topic as well." That's the attitude I'm taking towards this Domestic Violence thread. I'm still composing a response. I'll probably be working on it tonite. I guess in order to experience this to its max I should share at least a little about how this topic of domestic violence strikes me on a very personal level. I truly wish that all of you are getting something out of this experience with all of us in here.

Himay10ns
3:19 pm
Hi fans! It's getting down to the wire. Banishment night and I'm nervous! I really don't want to leave and I don't want to see anyone else go. But I know it's part of the game. I wish I knew what was going on out there. Are you guys having as much fun as we are? I hope you all join us for the live show tonight. I'll be sad that I can't talk to anyone but please know that I appreciate everyone that is pulling for me! There are some great people in here and we have all learned a lot about ourselves and life in general. I can't wait to see what lies ahead. I just hope I get to experience it! See ya tonight! And a special hello to my sweet little Affinity. I miss you!

Vykin
4:24 pm
I echo HiMays comments outsideviewers (except for the sweet little affinity part). I also want to wish all the nominees good luck. Arreal regarding your computer drive crashing I guess about now you must be thinking, "It Takes a Man to Screw Something Up Real Good!" lol

Xenia
4:45 pm
Yeah Gail, don't be so sure you're one who will be leaving. I AM!

Vykin
5:58 pm
Xenia but who will call me Imbecile and Giblets?

Xenia
6:01 pm
I think you've been hit over the head with a cast iron frying pan enough, Giblets. You deserve a break.

Talisker
6:20 pm
Vykin, if I stay, I will call you anything you want! What is with the weird banner? "Tali - don't be so sure you are the one going"? Who comes up with this stuff?! I'm already packed Xenia! If you leave I will be happy for you! If I leave, I will be happy for me! Win - win! These late nights are wiping me out! But if I stay I will be happy with that too!

Arreal
6:36 pm
Singing a happy song. One of my passions is collecting football cards. I even got my hubby into watching the game. He's sitting on the couch watching the Jaq and the Titans and I'm here waiting for the big BOOT. I'm still hoping the Titans kick some bootie. I don't have my good puter back, but it's MONDAY! Yippie! I hope to be in chat and see all you. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go. See you on the other side friends. Bye

Vykin
6:41 pm
You can cut the tension with a knife in here. Everyone seems nervous about banishment tonite. Even though this is virtual world its most certainly has effect on all of us in our real worlds. I'm thinking of Mantastic tonite, wondering if he is watching. Somehow I think if he had not left, we could have had some interesting conversations. I am hopeful whoever gets banished, will participate on the outside. Whoever leaves tonite, the impact will be felt in the house.

Talisker
6:56 pm
Just want to say goodbye to everyone - just in case I leave. It has been fun! See you on the outside when you get sprung!

Xenia
7:01 pm
I'm 99% sure I'm outta here. It's been a slice guys. I can't wait to see all the hateful things that have been written about me.

The Virtual House: Living Room
6PM - 7PM
Xenia
HiMay! GOOD NEWS! I just checked my e-mail and received this:
THIS IS A TENNIS BALL....TELL HIMAY SHE HAS NO
WORRIED, SHE IS STILL IN THE GAME.
See, you have nothing to worry about!

Vykin
6:11 pm
Xenia, roflmao. HiMays I'm only an hour behind you so when its 9pm for u its 8pm for me we may figure out a way we can chat at same time. Good luck to you all tonite.

Himay10ns
Xenia, that's hilarious! Haven't had any tennis balls thrown my way.

Talisker
6:40 pm
I got a tennis ball too! Thought it was pretty weird.

Vykin
I didn't even get a golf ball. Man what a weird feeling it is tonite. I am tense. Seriously, can't believe it is affecting me in my real life.

Roger_Ramjet
Vyk, I didn't get any balls either so I still have none. You're affected by tonight? Welcome to Lisa's world! LOL

Luke
6:37 pm
My palms are getting sweaty! I'm a little nervous about the chat tonite!

Roger_Ramjet
Luke, your palms are sweaty? Mine are hairy, I wonder what that means? Not sure what's to be nervous about chat. We will be talking to ourselves!

Luke
Hey Roger! Hairy palms. You know my mother said that if i did something I'd get hairy palms. HEHEHEHE!

Roger_Ramjet
I figure that's from having my hands in chemicals all day, got 7th finger on my middle hand, a 2nd thumb on my left, and all my toes have joined on my right foot. Isn't everyone like that? No wonder women run when they see me!

Arreal
6:47 pm
Hi all and good luck tonight. I doubt I will be back come 7:30 but I'll be enjoying tonight and freedom. Was fun getting to know all of you.

Vykin
6:50 pm
I'm heading to the chat room

Luke
Yikes! I'll see u there, Vykin!

Himay10ns
6:53 pm
I can't believe how nervous I am. I hope you guys enjoy the reward for the challenge. I may not be around to see it! If I'm the one stay true to yourselves and the experience and I'll be rooting for you guys on the outside. I'm honored to have been chosen and to have been allowed to interact with 9 very intelligent, strong-minded individuals. See ya in the chat room.

Luke
6:55 pm
Let's go you guys!

Roger_Ramjet
6:56 pm
May LOL Won't do anything except be true to myself. What else is there?

Xenia
6:59 pm
Another tennis ball just for Roger! (ed. email)
WE SEE ALL - ROGER'S BEEN "USING" XENIA'S 8" ROCKET - SOLO SEAL IS BROKEN!!

The Virtual House: Church
Vykin
6:47 pm
Well 10 minutes to chat time Big G, everyone is quiet today, all I can think of is: God's Plan Works - Yours Doesn't. So I guess what will be, will be.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 03:42 am Click here to edit this post
Monday 16

7:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Live Banishment Day Chat for BGs

Big Host announced the BGs won their challenge and it would posted in the challenge room.

Big Host announced vote percentages:
  • Zebulon - 4% of the votes
  • HiMay10ns - 5% of the votes
  • Xenia - 15% of the votes
  • ArReal - 38% of the votes
HiMay10Ns: Xenia stays!
Xenia: What the f***!
Vykin: Hey carumba. Xenia is that 15 or 51?
Xenia: OH MY GOD!
Luke: whoa....
Roger_Ramjet: Xenia stays.
Luke: Xenia!
Vykin: Good. Xenia can do tarot readings tonite.
Xenia> WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!
Talisker: Revenge is sweet. Xenia is staying! :o)
Xenia: I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE!
Vykin: Shut up Xenia ur locked in.
Zeb: I'll get the DEATH card. lol
Xenia: OH MY GOD!
Talisker: Yippee - it's me! I get to start sleeping again! Yay!
Xenia: You people are so damn cruel!
Xenia: THIS IS TOTAL CRAP!

Big Host: Talisker - you are the banished Player with 39% of the votes.

Xenia: YOU GUYS FIXED IT SO GAIL WOULD LEAVE!

Big Host: You all have 1/2 hour to say goodbye in the living room of the House.

Talisker: I 'll be around and I will send nice banners for you.

Big Host: At 8:00 pm Talisker's game privileges will be removed from the Game and will be reinstated to the rest of the board.

Talisker: I know you will miss me Roger but at least we got to sleep together.
Xenia: THANK A LOT GAIL!
Talisker: Xenia, can I help it if they hate me more then you?

Host: Thank you all for participating in this chat.

HiMay10Ns: Tali, say Hi to Affinity for me.
Vykin: HOST CAN THE OUTSIDERS TALK WITH US A BIT NOW?
<fjfjfjfjfjfjf> V Y K I N R U L E S
Vykin: finally a tennis ball. Thanks fjfj whoever.

Host: Players - please leave the room now and go to the living room to say your goodbyes to Tali.

Zeb: Xenia, chill out and curl up with your Red Rocket or something.
Xenia: Shut the he** up Zeb
Vykin: Oh okay Host. Bye peeples.
Xenia: Thanks for screwing up the game Gail. Hope you acquire some self-restraint one day.

The Virtual House: Living Room

Arreal
7:21 pm
Kind of feel weird sitting in the house alone. Not knowing what is going on. I tried to get into chat but this computer wouldn't support java.

I feel sad that I'm not there with all my board mates. I thought I would be twiddling my thumbs hoping someone will let me know what is going on. I have 12 minutes to wait. I want to know what is going on. I really feel lonely right now. Going to the discussion thread for the next ten minutes.

Roger_Ramjet
7:30 pm
Arreal...

Talisker
He ArReal! (((hugs)))) It's me - I'm leaving and you're staying. Have a great time! I'll see you on the outside.

Xenia
ARREAL! Is it true you and Gail faked that whole feud?

Talisker
LOL! No - it was no fake! It seemed like a horrible dream while it was happening though! Glad we got past it! Would have sucked to have that hanging over our heads. Life is too short to have conflicts over nothing.

Xenia
You have no idea how much your childish antics have pissed me off Gail.

Roger_Ramjet
Tali, I will miss you!

Talisker
Roger! I will miss you too! Had fun the first night but it was hard for me to stay awake so late to talk each night. ArReal will have to keep you company now!

Luke
7:32 pm
Arreal - Hi! You're still in here with us. Tali - let's talk more on the outside after all this is over. I wish we had more time to get to know each other.

Talisker
Sure Luke! Would love too - seemed like we kept missing each other.

Zebulon
Good luck on the outside, Tali.

Luke
7:35 pm
They posted the reward challenge.

Talisker
Xenia! You have no idea how scared I was of that 12 inch strap on Dildo.

Xenia
Thanks to you and your lack of self-restraint I am here! Why did you even bother getting into this game? So you could play childish mind games? I suppose that whole story about your mother was total bullshit too.

Roger_Ramjet
7:35 pm
Xenia - family is out of line.

Xenia
Yeah? SO is insulting the way one looks. You people don't seem to have a problem with that.

Roger_Ramjet
Yes, it is although we are here to defend ourselves - her mom isn't.

Talisker
(blah, blah, blah, blah)
I never insulted anyone's looks Xenia so •••• off!! My mom nearly died last week! You think that is a ••••••• joke! Laugh your ass off! I would never insult anyone who put up their real picture!

Roger_Ramjet
Tali--will you be willing to talk as Gail to me on the outside?

Himay10ns
7:37 pm
Tali, I know you'll be there rooting for us on the outside! Take care and I'll see you on the other side sooner or later.
Xenia
7:37 pm
Hope you eventually grab a brain Gail. With more free time on your hands now let's hope you will.

Talisker
Sure Roger - would love to talk to you - just drop me an email - if it is not posted - ask Big H - they will give to you. I will look you up though. Can't have too many friends! Don't worry - I won't make you a web page.

Luke
Tali - tell them all that we're glad they're supporting us. We'll hook up on the outside after this is all over. Just save me some of those hunks that are surely going to be going after you!

Roger_Ramjet
7:40 pm
Funny Tali--funny

Zebulon
Tali, are you going to resume your moderator duties now? If you could do this all over again, what would you change?

Roger_Ramjet
Zeb - great question.

Xenia
Isn't it time for you to leave Gail? You know what they say, don't the door hit... blah blah blah blah.

Talisker
(blah, blah, blah, blah) Tali is Ryder is Gail.

Roger_Ramjet
btw, Xenia, I don't remember insulting anyone's looks either?

Vykin
Arreal Congrats! Tali, Good Luck, I'm gonna go soak in hot tub (in real life, shoulder still killing me be back in 1/2 hour or so.

Xenia
Well, you'll have to excuse me Gail, when one LIES and manipulates you have to assume everything they say is a LIE and a manipulation.

Zebulon
Also Tali, I'm curious to know when and why you decided you wanted to be a regular player since you were originally sent in to shake us up?

Talisker
Zeb, excellent questione! I would tell Mr Big H that I wanted to play as me - not as a character. I could not answer the discussion questions as Tali - could not fit the character to my life! Was not comfortable - could not hide behind name in chat room with ArReal - was very uneasy knowing she knew me but didn't know it was me.

Arreal
Gail, I'm glad we were able to call a truce to some degree last night. I hope your mom is doing much better. I hope we can resume a fragile friendship when I am able to join you on the outside. (((Gail))) I'll miss you in here.

Xenia
I will never forgive you for the anguish you put Arreal through just so you could fun at her expense.

Talisker
(blah, blah, blah, blah)
Zeb, I was never sent to shake up! Was playing as a player - to see how to make better for players and viewers. Never to shake up. Ever! Just trying to see how to improve the next time.
(blah, blah, blah, blah)

Xenia
Looks like you FAILED at that Gail! Way to go!

Talisker
(blah, blah, blah, blah)

Zeb, Big H does not know what it is like here. It is much different being a player then a watcher. Someone needed to convey that there are things that need to be done to make it smoother in here. When I get out I can pass on certain things to them. Made the request that tonight's chat was for us so we could talk to each other. Last week we couldn't talk, too many people talking. Host would not see that but we did.

Zebulon
Xenia, I think everyone will live without you and your negative attitude. Stop blowing ass wind.

Luke
Tali/Gail, I am sending you a big hug and a sincere goodbye, for now that is. I'm serious about wanting to get to know you and continue communication after we all get out of here. Thanks for your participation, your honesty. I'll miss you. I'm buzzing too much with this wine, gotta get something to eat. Be back in a bit to chat some more.

Talisker
(blah, blah, blah, blah)
Zeb, I liked what you said in the discussions. Will enjoy seeing what else you have to say. It was a pleasure meeting you.

Zebulon
Tali, Oh,ok. I understand.

Roger_Ramjet
Tali, if they want to know what it's like ask Q in the RR to find out the types of things they want to know. We will tell them!

Talisker
Luke! Thanks! You are a sweetheart. I will look for you to go to the end! Enjoyed seeing you in the hot tub last week.

Zebulon
Yes! The hot tub has been a blast, Tali!

Talisker
Okay Roger I will tell them - I will miss you Roger! Was nice getting to know you and look forward to talking to you later!

Roger_Ramjet
Same here Gail...same here {{{Gail}}}

Zebulon
It was a pleasure meeting you too, Tali. I hope your mom's health greatly improves.

Xenia
Poor little Zeb. He has to put up with me for one more week. Ahhhh. Bye bye Gail. I hope you got that "experience" you were looking for.

Talisker
(blah, blah, blah, blah)
ArReal! Glad we were able to get things back on track! Will look for you to play nekkid twister when you get sprung! I left the twister game in the girl's room for you - get big H to unlock the door so you can get it. Seriously ArReal - everything is cool with me in regards to you! Hope you feel the same!

Himay10ns
Tali, hang in there. We all respect you for coming clean in here. I always saw you as just another board guest.

Roger_Ramjet
Tali, I hope you know that I was always straight up with you.

Talisker
May! You are the best! Hang in there with that time zone! I had fun with you too. wish you could have stayed awake in the hot tub with us. Will look for you later! Thanks for being so nice! Roger, I know that! don't even have to say it. Bye everyone! I will send banners!

Talisker
Vykin! You're the Man! Thanks for EVERYTHING! I appreciate you beyond words! I will be waiting for you come Oct. 30th! Thanks! Moon! You are truly and angel! One of the chosen! One of the nicest people I have ever met!

Big Host
8:00 pm
Your time is up Talisker. Please exit the Play Room. Thank you.

Talisker
8:00 pm
Oh darn it! I am out of time! Bye beegees! Hope to see most of you later! Don't worry about me. I will finally get some sleep now!

Roger_Ramjet
Bye Gail (((Gail)))

Arreal
Bye Gail

Zebulon
See ya Gail. Have fun on the outside!

Roger_Ramjet
8:08 pm
Folks, I am going to go help someone out for a bit. I figure I'll be back about 9:00 pm.

Xenia's Padded Cell ***KEEP OUT...OR ELSE***
New Room created by X

Xenia
8:29 pm
I am so totally going to lose my mind. I need to have a place where I can come to and get away from that circus out there.

Why am I still here? Someone is punishing me.

Imagine matte black walls, a mattress on the floor and strings of Christmas lights on the ceiling. Every wall is lined with bookshelves.

I need to spend time here or I will lose my mind and go postal (with words).

Calm. Focus.

Think of something that will make me laugh, make me happy... I've got it.
"The women's restrooms, as usual, were the worst. Many of the women, apparently, simply left their used sanitary napkins on the floor in the stalls, and the sight of them, although familiar, was disturbing, especially with a hangover. The men's restrooms were somewhat cleaner but then men didn't use sanitary napkins. At least 1 was alone when 1 worked. 1 wasn't too good a mopper; often a wad of hair or a crushed cigarette butt would remain conspicuously in one of the corners. I'd leave it there. 1 was conscientious with the ass-wipe and the paper seat covers, however: I could understand that. Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass. Sometimes 1 have reached over and there's no paper and then when you reach for a toilet seat cover they're suddenly out of those too. You stand up and look down and yours has just fallen into the water. After that you have few alternatives. The one 1 find most satisfying is to wipe your ass with your shorts, dump them in there too, flush, and clog the toilet." -Charles Bukowski
From the novel Factotum page 152
Published by Black Sparrow Press 1995
That line:
"Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass."
...is the most brilliant thing ever written.

I LOVE HIM! Why did he have to die before I could interview him? WHY?

Focus. Focus. Focus.

The Internet Camera

7:01 pm (right before Live Banishment Chat)
Xenia
I'm 99% sure I'm outta here. It's been a slice guys. I can't wait to see all the hateful things that have been written about me.

7:58 pm (After Live Banishment Chat where Talisker/Gail was banished)
Xenia
Ok, I've got it. Not "crude". Crass. Savage. I like those better.

Zebulon
Xenia, FAKE sounds more accurate. How about HATEFUL?

Xenia
"Fake"? "Hater"? To describe you? Yeah, I'd agree with that.

Xenia
Ooops. I misread your post. You are very FAKE, Zeb. You have been ever since the day you bashed Himay. Hateful? No, That's not you. You're just a total prick and ass-kisser.

Zebulon
Can you honestly say you act like this in real life, Xenia? You're basing my "realness" on one incident? At least when I stir up sh1t, it's for a good reason and not just to be spouting off hot air like you do. As for being an "asskisser" and a "total prick", I think those are just empty, meaningless insults geared at attempting to boost your own self-esteem that is lacking.

Arreal
9:19 pm
<looking around> I think I'm lost. I was looking for the internet camera, but it seems as though I have entered a war zone? <ducking out of here>

Xenia
9:34 pm
Zeb: I'm getting the chills. You've just got me so well analyzed. Why don't we call a truce. You ignore me and I'll ignore you. Do you think you can do that?

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 08:03 am Click here to edit this post
Monday 16 - Tues 17
8:00 pm - 2:30 am

Challenge 6 - Reward
Congratulations Players, you successfully posted the correct answer to Challenge # 5. You have therefore won the following reward: One of you will be given the opportunity to view the posts in The Game - Discussion Room area for 10 minutes at a designated time on Thursday evening. The chosen Player will be entitled to share their discoveries with the rest of you on their return to the Play Room. It is up to the eight of you to decide who should be the one to go. Please discuss this amongst yourselves in the Discussions area below, and post the chosen Player's name in the Chosen Player box by 7:00 pm PST Wednesday. Once posted, we will contact the Player to set up a time.

The Living Room

Arreal
8:09 pm
This is weird, like a hole in here now. Can some one tell me what the chat was like, how did they do it?

Roger_Ramjet
Host asked questions of us. All outsiders were to just listen and they did great at keeping to that. At one point I saw 51 people in room!

Zebulon
Roger, Roger.

Roger_Ramjet
Yes, Zeb?

Zebulon
I meant... Affirmative, Roger. LOL!

Roger_Ramjet
ROFLMAO!

Zebulon
Hi Arreal. They let us chat amongst ourselves and The Host asked certain players some specific questions but I rarely saw the answers. I'm not sure what that was about. The Host also mentioned a new challenge and to check the challenge area for a prize. Time flew and the chat was over. That was about it.

Vykin
8:32 pm
Okay I'm back. See how long I hold out. I see Tali has left the building. Where is Xenia. Who's all here rite now? Finally, sorry I had to be away past hour. Can't stand when my real life interferes with my virtual life at the same time.

Xenia
Giblets, I have good news for you. I am leaving you alone from now on unless you do something to REALLY piss me off. But I will try and restrain myself. You were very calm and sweet to me today and I appreciate that. I'm still going to call you Giblets though.

Luke
Hey everyone. How's the aftermath after this evening? I think Xenia is in her padded cell. Tali is gone. Roger will be back at 9:00 and I'm here for a bit. The wine got to me so I'm not sure how much longer I can last.

Xenia
Hey Arreal, will you be around here later? I'd like to talk to you if you don't mind. Luke, to answer your question, I am fuming. If Gail hadn't blabbed about who she was, I'd be gone and she'd be here. She made a mess of this damn game and I am livid. How are you? I must say, I admire your ability to be calm.

Luke
Xenia, is there anything you want to get out of your system?

Xenia
No, Luke, I just want to put my fist through a wall. I'm just not happy about what transpired with the Gail thing. If Neil was going to allow one of the moderators in the game he should have picked one who had more discretion. It screwed things up. But I'm sounding redundant. I had just thought/hoped I'd be finished with this game and would be reading the "outside" posts by now and looking for a new obsession. That's all. Thanks for asking though.

Vykin
Xenia you can call me Giblets, but throw in an "imbecile" every so often okay? I stopped by your padded cell but didn't want to disturb you.

Xenia
Thanks for respecting my privacy.

Zebulon
9:07 pm
Did you run to your padded cell so you can pad your ego?

Xenia
9:36 pm
Zeb, My ego? Where do you come up with these inane theories of yours? Don't even answer that question. Stop being obsessed with me. It's starting to feel like you're stalking me and it's scary.

Arreal
I'm around here and there Xenia and would love to chat with you. Ya just have to be patient with me and this slow beast. My other puter got a bad bad virus that corrupted it. Everything is gone. The burial will be Wednesday at approximately 5pm. I plan to serve Custard Pie. The guy who was fixing it is leaving town until Friday. I pray for a miracle. Until then I will limp my way through and chat and post as much as possible. I'm around reading everything even if I don't always post.

Roger_Ramjet
Anyone here?

Xenia
Roger, I'll be around for a bit. Wanna chat?

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, always willing to chat. With anyone. I've missed having you around. We all have time away from the board for some reason. It will shake itself out based on voting, outside voting, whatever ends up being important. For some it is, for some it isn't.

Xenia
Your handling this all very well. Are you always this mild-mannered?

Zebulon
Xenia, don't flatter yourself.

Xenia
Roger, that question was for you.

Xenia
Zeb, I am now going to ignore you. Go away.

Vykin
Look out zeb, it looks like its your week to get beaten up by Xenia, don't worry you'll survive it.

Roger_Ramjet
Not always. There are a few things that get me going. The most frequent one that happens is me making a mistake. I hate doing that. I try and learn from it then move on. Why?

Xenia
I just wondered if you were exhibiting your true temperament or if this was the way you consciously chose to play game.

Roger
First, the person you see here is the person I am. I wish to be liked or dislike for that. I can respect either one.

Xenia
I have another quesiton for you. You know when I mentioned the thing about people around here not having any problems with someone insulting the way one looks and you said you had never done it. I said that you had never done it but that you also don't condone it. I wonder, when you are watching a heated argument and you see something that isn't right, why do you choose to stay out of it rather than get involved? Is that something you'd do in normal life as well?

I ask because I am the exact opposite. If I see an injustice I jump all over the person who is being unfair. I can't imagine ever being passive. I just wonder if you can explain to me what that is like. (I'm not going to proofread these posts...I'll just post them...)

Roger_Ramjet
No problem with the proof reading. I make some many mistakes I don't catch [ed. yes you do] I could never jump someone for it! [ed. oops]

I will step in where situtations involve unfair advantage five on one. In here I let people fight their own battle. People need to do that. This group of people is a sharp group. If they want help, I figure they can ask.

I respect a fair battle. If I jump into an argument I may make things worse. Also, sometimes people will take offense if they feel they are seen as weak. Not many of us need protectors and if they do it is their responsibility to make it known. Not me to guess or decide for them.

Tonight I called you on going after family that wasn't here. You were going after the person and not the issue. It was over the line because the family person was not here to address what you said. If we had a child in here and I saw a verbal attack like I've seen from some, I'd be all over that.

Here we are all capable of holding our own. I really like Arreal. I also think she is very strong and can hold her own with any of us. I want to give her the chance to do so.

Right or wrong it's an interesting issue. When you and Zeb argue who's right? Sometimes it seems obvious to me, someimes it doesn't.

Vykin
10:10 pm
Xenia, I wanted to explain to you at the time but was scared of you, to be honest. I meant that as a joke. Your picture really is attractive. I'm sorry if i really offended you. Sometimes we type something in here thinking its a joke but in type it looks different. Apologies on that.

Xenia
Thank you Giblets. I am very grateful for your apology. I was hurt because sharing photos and details about myself was a big risk for me. I've given you tons od stuff criticize within my behavior. But your post did read as an insult not a joke. It's Ok though. And I aplogize for the dildo comment. I went too far with that one. But it was very dramatic, wasn't it? Giblets... I'll only do this... ONCE... (((ICE CREAM CAKE)))

Roger_Ramjet
Vyk, hi there. I was a bit past 9:00 getting back. Sometimes helping out takes a bit longer than planned. I was hoping to get to say hi and discuss the reward. I have something I want to say about priorities and see what others say.

Xenia
What has been your favorite part of all of this so far, Roger? Do you enjoy the discussion or the conversations? Do you think you have a strong feeling for who everyone really is? I can see your perpsective about getting involved vs not getting involved. The difference between you and I is that I react from emotion. You react from logic. That's cool.

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia- both emotion and logic are good. Idealy they are blended at just the right amounts. I have emotions. It's just that sometimes they do more harm than good. Heck, I know I get it wrong plenty!

My favorite? Getting to interact in any form. Listening is something I work really hard at doing when people want to talk. I enjoy giving my opinions in hopes of getting the other person's back in return.

What's been your favorite part of being a BG Xenia? You seem pretty bright, high energy, why is it that you let the personal side of things distract from what good points you have? Is it just your emotions taking over?

I figured out who everyone was after a couple of posts from each, except Moon. Her picture is the same as one of the angel pictures.

Xenia
But you don't seem to judge people. How do you not do that? My favorite part? When I write these posts I'm very conscious of the way I write and form sentences. Sometimes I get sloppy but for the most part it's been a good writing excercise. That's been my favorite part.

You have said so many flattering things to me and as always I thank you for them. I think I'm just an all-around complicated person.

Roger_Ramjet
Not judging people is easy. I just think of everytime it's been done to me and how I felt about it. That is a feeling I would not want to be responsible for imparting to anyone!

That is great about your point of a great writing exercise! I write the way I think. It sounds like you have worked hard. So many people in the world don't try hard at much of anything. I always respect a good effort in anything.

You are welcome for the words. I do not say them to be flattering though. I say them because I've seen them in your profile, the way you post, the things you say. Of course I could be wrong. Communications, two way and difficult at best! I think that is COOL! I agree about complicated!

I wish you were at a point in life where you really did want to be here. Do you have any plans for the week as far as participating? I see you made a room for yourself. I won't enter although if you ever want to interact with me I'm willing to chat with you any time. I'm a problem solver by default. Just need to a nudge if you want a listener. Is there anything I can do that would make your stay better for you!?

Arreal
Hello, I ventured to this wild side again.

Vykin
Arreal were you saying Wednesday will be Custards Last Stand for your computer?

10:47 pm
Arreal
Yes, Custard's last stand. hehehe Cute Vyk.

So Rog, what do you think of Yate's plea bargain?
Strange. These are the kinds of things that makes me wish I could condone capital punishment.

Roger_Ramjet
Arreal- hi! I haven't gotten to speak at you all evening. Are you sticking around? I was just talking to Xenia! Xenia, would you mind Arreal talking too? Plea bargain? Huh? I've been inside my building just about the past week. What happened? I'm not familiar with much of the details. Is he the serial kiiler?

Xenia
Of course Arreal can chat! We can do some mis-matched bonding.

Arreal
Xenia- is you room padded walls or rubber walls?

Xenia
Arreal, padded with books!

Roger, Ok my next question: How do you feel about the restrictions of communicating just with text? You mentioned miscommunication. It is so easy for miscommunication to happen especially when you're only mode of expression if text. Do you find it frustrating?

I wish I could be in a better frame of mind as well. To be honest, I had made a major move in May thinking it would change my life. It turns out that it hasn't been what I thought it would be. I'm living in a city where I don't speak the language and I can't get over the language barrier and it sucks. I used BB as a way to distract myself from my conflicted feelings about living here. Now it's over and I have to go back to facing reality and I'm not happy about it.

But that and PMSnot seem like excuses. I'm just totally frustrated with everything right now. Being part of a virtual reality isn't helping me cope with my real reality.

Roger_Ramjet
11:12 pm
Xenia, frustrations and distractions don't help this situation at all. I like the restriction. You are correct about the limits it poses and the difficulties. I like a challenge though and learning to better communicate under such conditions can only help me out! It also helps take the emotion out of things. So, how does everyone get so much emotion out of the posts? It's by them adding it in themselves! I saw some of your stuff on BB posts. Live post feeds, right? Good objective work if I remember correctly!

If this is causing a distraction in your real world then you have to deal with that. There is no crime in bad timing! You mentioned the PMS thing a couple of times before. Is it going any better yet? Were you honestly pissed about not being the one to go? You seemed that way although wasn't sure if it was you being caught up in the moment.

Xenia
Arreal, I want your last wrod on the Gail thing. I know you guys made up and that's cool. But I'm still pissed off over the whole principle of it all. We don't have to discuss this at length. I just want your final thoughts on it. If you're over it. I should be.

Roger_Ramjet
Where did everybody go?

Xenia
I thought Arreal was here.

Roger_Ramjet
Was here! Arreal?

Xenia
My PMS, Yep. It gets bad. Not only that but I refuse to put any kind of intense drugs in my body so I just rely on Tylenol. You are so lucky you are a guy. It sucks having to rearrange your life for a few days to accomodate pain and mood swings.

Was I really angry about not leaving? Yes. And I am convinced if the Gail thing hadn't happened I think I would have gone. I envisioned myself putting this behind me and just doing other stuff. I've calmed down though.

My next questions for you: Do you already own a CD burner? And why did you apply for the game? Do you do anything with Photoshop? Also, if you like this kind of communication, have you ever taken an online class or have thought about it?

Arreal
11:25 pm
Yes, Yates is the serial killer. He pled guilty to 13 counts of murder, they are extracting a body from his front yard today and tomorrow. Because he pleaded guilty he avoided the death penalty in Spokane county.

Roger_Ramjet
Arreal- that blows me away about that guy. Geez- there are no words that have been made to appropriately describe such a behavior.

Arreal
Final thoughts on Gail. I did not understand that she told me because she wanted a friend to talk to. I was confused when she asked for my trust. I wasn't prepared to give it to her. Looking back I was paranoid and confused. I felt like I was getting the run around from Neil and Gail. It was a very frustrating situation that I did not handle very well.

When I did finally tell Roger what I knew, it wasn't my intent to tell everyone. The more Vyk and Gail denied, the more challenged I felt. I feel as though my lack of trust hurt a few people in here. I don't think Vyk, Gail, Admin or myself handled things vey well. I hope we all learned a little from it. I regret the hurt it put in our group and the strain it put those on the outside in. I hope Gail and I can work at building a friendship. I hope she forgives me. For me it is over and I harbor no ill feelings.

Roger_Ramjet
11:34 pm
I'll issue that first question for Arreal since it wasn't me that said I own a CD burner.

About guys not having PMS...we do! For us it happens all at one time! Between the ages of 12 and 19! We go through in a few years what you have spead out over most of your life.

The whole Gail thing was unfortunate. Sorry that it caused anger for it. What is Photoshop? Never taken an online class, never thought about it. What caused you to ask those two questions?

With working all the time I haven't had time for much else. This completely take my sleep time away but it's worth it to me!

Will you still stick around for the week? Actually till Frday evening or are you looking at packing it in? Curious, no feelings about what you should do!

Xenia
Nope. I'm not planning on leaving.

Photoshop is a software program you use to enhance graphics. I've started to work with it recently and just wondered if you knew anything about it.

The question about the CD burner was for you. I didn't know if you had one. I suspected Arreal didn't. Do CD burners come with new computers these days?

I asked about online classes because of your open mind regarding communicating in this medium. How many hours a day do you work?

Roger_Ramjet
No it was someone else that said they have one. I wouldn't go out and buy one for myself, I don't really have many material possessions anyway! I don't know if they come with computers these days!

The hours per day fluxuate. In a week I now work 80-90. I've cut down from 110-115 a couple of years ago. I spread it out over 7 days.

Not much room for classes. Everyone tells me to get an advanced degree as it would enhance my career opportunities. Not interested in learning by class. More interested in learning by life at this point. How about you and more school? Do you find these this talk of any value for yourself - is it enjoyable?

Xenia
I'm enjoying mysefl! It's a change from the usual (ahem) crap that goes on around here. HOLY HAMBURGER! I can't believe you work that much! I can understand being a workaholic or even being devoted to your job, but putting that much time into a job blows my mind! Does any of the other areas of your life suffer because of it?

For me school was never about getting a degree so I could get a decent job. Academia embodied the things I love: reading, researching, writing and analyzing. Not only that, because I'm legally blind I had access to a lot of grant funding and I took advantage of it. I've decided education will be a life-long thing for me. I'll always be taking one course or another.

But you're right about the hands-on experience being essential. I find that with photography. You can take classes and read books til the cows come home and it all comes down to getting out there with your camera.

Have you achieved your career goals?

Roger_Ramjet
I tend to think that no other areas suffer since I enjoy it so much. No kids at home, no female relationship, no pets. At this time, work is more fun than going out and doing things by myself. It works for me.

I completely agree about education being life long. I like when I can learn something new every day!

Career goals never will meet those. I've made them beyond what I would expect.

Are you an Ansel Adams fan? Do you carry your camera with you where ever you go? If you had to choose between only getting to write or do photography, which would you pick?

Moondance
11:35 pm
Hey guys. Don't want to interrupt but I just got home and wanted to say HI!

Hi... Arreal... Xenia & Roger. I am glad you guys are here.

Roger_Ramjet
11:35 pm
Arreal, jump in--say what's on your mind or ask someting--I feel badly if you are holding back because of me--I would never want to cause that!

Xenia
11:38 pm
Arreal! Speak to us or I'll put ice down your shirt.

Roger_Ramjet
Ice down her shirt! Can I watch? LOL

Arreal
I posted that about Gail because Xenia asked my final thoughts about it and if I wasn't upset she shouldn't be. It is over for me Roger.

I'm not holding back anything. My brain takes over my fingers when I write. If there are emotions there they will come out. I think that is the plus side to just writing and not pre-writing, then editing, then posting. With me it's one shot.

Roger_Ramjet
11:39 pm
Moon, will you stay?

Xenia
11:40 pm
Hey Moon! Any thoughts on the Mercury retrograde coming up? I have some lst minute things to do today to get ready for it. How do you deal with them?

You aren't interrupting. I'm going to split soon anyway. This staying up all night thing is like the BB days and it has got to stop... for me.

Moondance
11:44 pm
Xenia... LOL I just let you a message in the stars thread! I will write about tomorrow. I have to get to bed too!

Moondance
11:45 pm
Roger, Arreal, are you guys around for a while? I have to jump around and get caught up. Class was great but I feel like I missed so much!

Roger_Ramjet
I'm around for awhile!

Arreal
I think I am going to have to head to bed. My late nights chatting caught up with me. (((Moon))) (((Roger))) (((Oreo s)))

Moondance
(((Arreal))) We didn't get a chance to talk today. Tomorrow I hope. Sleep well!

Xenia
Good night, Arreal.

Arreal
I miss the late nighters gosh dagnabbit! Roger, you can get the ice out of my shirt if you want. Nobody answered if they gave percentages or numbers out in chat today. Are next nominations still due tomorrow?

Moondance
I think Noms are due on Wed.

Xenia
They did give percentages. Zeb got 4%... I can't remember the rest.

Xenia
12:06 am
Thanks Moon. How was your class, by the way? And technology did you bring with you so you could get to the chat?

Moondance
12:11 am
That was a joke. I carefully left class, going to the restroom of course, found a phone line in the office and my damn laptop decided to just let me in the chat and not type anything! I was so frustrated! But at least I tried! But class was great! Thanks

Xenia
11:57 pm
I have another question I'd love to hear your opinion on. Do you think anyone can do anything at any age?

Speaking of photography...

I've gone through the usual psychological crisis that comes with entering your thirties. I sometimes feel like the window of opportunities is closing. Is it a good idea for a 31-year old to give up everything to become a foreign correspondent or a photojournalist? Isn't doing wild and crazy like tht reserved for people in their 20's?

Moondance
Xenia please do not put limitations on yourself! I have a feeling you could do anything you wanted. Try not to fall into society's age trap! It's not fair to do that to yourself.

Xenia
Thanks Moon. How was your class, by the way? What technology did you bring with you so you could get to the chat?

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, I think your ahead of the game beacuse you are aware of the things to do to get to where you want to go AND you are doing them! There are a lot of people out there that don't take it upon themselves to do that. I hope you give yourself credit for doing so!

I completely agree about education being life long. I like it if I can learn something new every day! Career goals - I never will meet those. I've made them beyond what I can do.

Are you an Ansel Adams fan? Do you carry your camera with you where ever you go? If you had to choose between only getting to write or do photography, which would you pick??

Moondance
I just saw the challenge! I think Roger would be great to go over to the other side!

Arreal
12:13 am
Thanks peeps. Hugs and nighters. Hope we do get a chance to talk tomorrow Moon.

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, my personal belief about doing something - go read my thread about passion! Why should being 30 stop you from what you want? Issues only! I'm hoping you will answer your own question unless you were just looking for confirmation in what you already feel to be the case?

Arreal good night! (((Arreal))) I'll let your hubby get the ice out I hope we get a chance to talk tomorow! Moon, you still with us??

Moondance
Night Arreal!

Xenia
12:20 am
I admire A. Adams for his skill and the way in which he is so precise. But I don't like subject matter. Generally speaking, nature photography bores me.

I don't carry my camera wherever I go. I don't know why I don't. I've been thinking about the last couple of days. On Saturday as I was crossing the street, there was this long line-up of school buses as far back as I could see. They had stopped for the red light. I wish I could have captured that.
When you're doing action shots you don't have a lot of time to ask for permission. If I had to chose, I'd write. It's proven to be the talent and skill I am most comfortable with.

Man, you must have so many people where you work who are dependent on you. If you work such long hours you must be indispensible. Do you have any hobbies outside of work? Any passions?

Roger_Ramjet
12:16 am
The issue of the challenge. I have some thoughts I'd like to share with people. Somethings to consider if you are willing to.

Moondance
Please go ahead Roger Rabbit.

Xenia
12:24 am
Ok go ahead but I know what you are going to say. Then I'm gonna split.

Xenia
12:31 am
TICK TOCK, ROGER!

Roger_Ramjet
12:33 am
Xenia, I try to help out where I can. One of the things the long hours help with is teaching or talking about the fine points of the regulations. By doing ceratin work that doesn't require anyone else, I never have to turn someone away when they have a question, I get paid for answering questions and it is a big part of my job.

I have a number of hobbies I've done in the past, and consider myself inactive at the time. Most everything I do is a passion. I have a ton of passion inside me, remember my epitaph in my application? Host provided the apps of the 10 that made it in.

Xenia, you seem to be interested in people. I bet that your photography is an extension of that. Am I correct? Besides writing and photography, do you have other passions?

Roger_Ramjet
12:35 am
I can wait till tomorrow or post it tonight for you guys to pick at tomorrow.

Roger_Ramjet
12:36 am
Sorry for taking long time--I don't type, so I'm slower than most!

Moondance
12:36 am
Okay... I have to be up in 4 hours sorry... good to talk to you two! Sweet Dreams!

Xenia
12:40 am
I'm gonna split too. Roger, To answer your question about hobbies, I'd say these days my love of technology is my biggst hobby. But let's leave it there and picked up some other time. It's been really cool to get a chance to talk to you Roger. Have a good night guys.

Roger_Ramjet
12:44 am
Moon, good-night! You too Xenia! I'd like to thank you both for the late night talk. Xenia, it was great talking to you, and hope you want to do it again. For anyone else checking in, I'll be around for awhile. I have some posts to make! Tally Ho

1:10 am - 2:30 am
Luke showed up at approx 1:10 AM and chatted with Roger until approx. 2:30.
Luke did RR visit. Roger posted in the Challenge 6 Reward discussion. Luke and Roger discussed new challenge and Luke thinks Roger should be the one to get to visit the outside message board. Luke compared Roger to Cassandra for his wisdom etc. when chosen by the HGs to go into BB house with news.

Tuesday 17
The Internet Camera

Vykin
12:36 am
Hello to whoever is out there. No address tonite. My real body is physically in pain right now. I have to get it checked out. Have a good sleep all.

Luke
2:32 am
Just checking in with all of you. Was chatting with Roger in the living room. Trying to give him a pep talk about going outside to see what you guys have posted about us.

It was great to see so many of you in the chats. And it was totally awesome to hear positive comments about everyone enjoying the game! Gail/Tali, I'll look forward to getting to know you more once I'm outta here. To everyone else, I want to get to know so many of you after this experience is over.

4:55 am
New Banner:
XENIA - YOU'RE GETTING SOAP WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 01:49 pm Click here to edit this post
Challenge # 6 - Reward: Discussions

Big Host:
One of you will be given the opportunity to view the posts in The Game - Discussion Room area for 10 minutes at a designated time on Thursday evening. The chosen Player will be entitled to share their discoveries with the rest of you on their return to the Play Room. It is up to the eight of you to decide who should be the one to go.

Xenia:
I say Roger should go. He'll come back and objectively tell us what he has read without sugar-coating anything and he'll do it with intelligence.

Luke:
I kinda wanna go but I have to admit Roger will do a better job. Roger, you've got my vote.

Roger_Ramjet:
Let's see who wants to go!! There are 7 others besides me! Let's take everyone into consideration! PLEASE

Vykin:
Send Xenia she's screaming for the outside world

Xenia:
NO! Send Roger or I set everyone's clothes on fire.

Zebulon:
I'd like to go. I wonder if we get to post or if it's view only?

Xenia:
Zeb, get over yourself. You'd be incompetent at this task. We need someone with intelligence and who would be FAIR. You can be the leader in the next challenge.

Zebulon:
Xenia, ...and exactly what would give you reason to believe I wouldn't be fair, aside from your own personal belligerency? There's nothing I would change up for you that everyone on the outside would already more than likely agree with anyway.

Vykin:
Xenia THATS MY FINAL ANSWER AND MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT!

Xenia:
ROGER! SHUSH! You see Zeb, that's what I mean. You just proved you wouldn't be successful at the task. Roger must be the one!

Roger_Ramjet
Xenia, can I share my thought on this with you?

Xenia:
NO! I know what you're going to say!

Roger_Ramjet:
What Am I going to say?

Roger_Ramjet:
It's a higher priority to pick what we want to know than picking who goes. Anyone of us would do just fine! I'm not trying to get out of the responsibility of doing it. All of us can do this well and many may want to. That's important to consider.

Topics we want to know about. I figure they have them in subject matter or maybe person? Do we want to know what they think about the game? About us in general? About our RRs? About when we nominate? Do we want to know detail or do we want a greater number of items? Things I'd like to ask to decide first than who goes. I'll look for your thoughts later today!

Xenia:
Roger this is why you're suited for the job. You'd give it deep consideration. Unlike a certain someone.

We should do this fairly. Everyone says who they want to go and then we vote. Then we'll figure out a game plan that person might want to follow.

Himay10ns:
Roger is the obvious choice. We've seen from his conversations that he is level-headed and I believe he would be objective in his report. I believe he has stated that he doesn't really KNOW a lot of the fans and wouldn't be swayed by some of the more obvious posters out there.

It is important that we are clear about what we want to know on the outside so he can be specific about his task and not just get out there and flounder in all the muck that has been posted. He needs direction from us. DO US PROUD ROGER!

Xenia:
THANK YOU, HIMAY!

Vykin:
Looks like I'm the only one who thought Xenia might need a break from her padded cell. Honestly I really don't care who goes. I'm not interested in seeing what the outside viewers have to say (until I get out of the house, then I plan to read everything). So if it's reported back I hope it gets reported in this folder. Good luck to who ever goes to the outside if you need to borrow my helmet your welcome to.

Zebulon:
What about Moon?

Arreal:
I would like to know just how "Jazzed up" our red room reports are. As for who should go, I'm fine with Roger, Moon or Zeb. BUT, I say whoever has the fastest computer and fastest skills with cut and paste should go.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 04:32 pm Click here to edit this post
Tues. October 17

The Virtual House
Living Room

Himay10ns:
Xenia, I saw where you asked Roger why he didn't come to other's defense when he read something that wasn't right or was out of line. HE DOES DO THAT! He did it when you were bashing Gail's mother. I respect him for confronting you on that issue and I agree with him.

Mantastic was way off base on remarks about your appearance. You can't let what he said get to you. He was just lashing out and being a poor sport. You have inner and outer beauty and you must hold on to your own strength.

I am glad that you posted a real picture. It gives us a greater window into your soul. I empathize with you though. I posted an old cheesy picture of myself but I would be offended if someone chose to criticize my looks. I'm glad Vyk apologized for what he meant as a joke.

Vykin:
I think some people get more offended than others. I could have gone after Xenia when she referred to my comments about when my father died. That didn't bother me so much as the use of her language. It was unsettling to see the Host asked questions about me which told me that I'm somewhat of an "outsider" in here. We all see things in different ways.

Xenia:
Himay, I asked Roger about not getting involved because of his response to me in regard to Gail.

Mantastic wasn't the only one who said derogatory things about my photo. So did Giblets. Both times no one jumped in to say anything. I concluded everyone thought those comments were acceptable. Granted, posts fly by around here and it's hard to catch everything. Also Giblets has said he was joking.

I also wondered why Roger thought it was inappropriate to bring up family (something that has nothing to do with game) but didn't seem to mind my appearance being insulted.

In my defense, I simply asked Gail if the thing she said about her mother was a lie. I always wondered if that had been something made up to bring more drama to her "outing" within the game.

And to clarify to Giblets, My comments about your father were in retaliation for the comment you made about my photo.

But as far as I'm concerned that stuff is all in the past. I don't have my shit in a knot over anything at this moment.

Himay10ns:
Xenia, there are two things in your profile I would love you to expound on:
1) tell me about people crushing your spirit. 2) tell me why you have such strong feelings about never dating a married man. Have you had previous experience with that? I thought it might be a good discussion topic.

Arreal:
May, I've always considered myself as having my spirit crushed too. I don't know what Xenia was referring to but if she doesn't respond there is probably a good reason she doesn't feel comfortable. Just a thought.

Xenia:
Himay, to give info about your two queries:
1) tell me about people crushing your spirit.

That would be a long and involved story. But I will say this. I got into working as a phone sex operator thinking I could handle it and separate myself from the f-cked up energy of the callers. I couldn't. The year and a half I spent doing it deeply affected me. The job didn't crush me spirit but it definitely eroded it.

2) tell me why you have such strong feelings about never dating a married man.

When I was 4, my father had an affair. He got the other woman pregnant and he left us for his new family. My mom hated his guts. I never saw him again and grew up dysfunctional because of it all.

That's part of the reason. The other reason is because of a married guy who really wanted to sleep with me and I kept turning him down. He had this theory that there's some karmic law that states when you are in a life-changing situation you will, at various times in your life be forced into every role in that situation. This is your destiny.

According to him I had already been the abandoned child, now I would go on to become the woman that married men had affairs with then eventually become the married woman whose husband cheats. Does that make sense? Even though he was probably full of shit, what he said really freaked me out and I am determined not to be part of that sort of love triangle EVER.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 04:41 pm Click here to edit this post
[ed. This is supposed to be between Arreal and Xenia's responses above]

Himay10ns
I'm sure you're right ArReal. It was something she posted in her profile. That she admired her grandfather because he had not crushed her spirit. I just thought she might want to discuss it sometime. I've had my spirit crushed before and it's devastating. Maybe when the dicussion board dies down I'll post a new topic.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:26 pm Click here to edit this post
Tues. October 17
Living Room

Vykin:
Xenia, earlier when I was at the doctors you said: "And to clarify to Giblets: My comments about your father were in retaliation for the comment you made about my photo." Just wanted to say, "yes I knew that" If I had apologized to you at the time I referred to your photo it probably wouldn't have been as effective as apologizing when we came back on track. As I said in an earlier post I think a response to what HiMays said, I wasn't offended by your retaliation, I knew it was deserving, don't lose sleep over that comment.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:52 pm Click here to edit this post
Tues. October 17
Living Room

Arreal:
I had a good night. I went to bed early and read until 2am. My husband and daughter went on a cooking spree and made 6 dozen cookies and rice krispie treats. Nummy! I do wish you weren't so time zoned challenged. It was always funny chatting with you in the chat room. Would be nice to get to know you on a more personal level in here. Save the Pickle. hehehe. Why the nick name of Pickle?

Himay10ns:
Well, if you remember my previous username?? I think Noslonna or Digilady or Annagator started calling me Dillipickle and things just went from there. Have you seen the fanpage someone built? It's a scream! It has a dancing pickle with big red lips.

Arreal:
I haven't seen your fan page or Zeb's. I'm afriad to with this puter. I don't want to freeze up with over loads of moving things. Oh yes. I remember and Dilli-dough. hehehe Sorry I just had to say that.

Himay10ns:
Yeah, dilli-dough. That was a good one too! I'm glad it didn't stick!

Arreal:
Hi Xenia. Have you had your daily dose of cookies today? I have some to share with you.

Luke:
Xenia! Now its you, me, May and ArReal. Wanna do each other's hair and makeup? Hehehe!

Arreal:
Will you do My hair and make-up? Would love to see what you could do with this mess of mine. Sorry if the dilli-dough thing bugged ya May.

Xenia:
Dilli-dough???

Himay10ns:
Yes, Dilligaf ----> Dillipickle ----> Dilli-do. The amazing transformation of my username.

Xenia:
Hey Luke! Thanks for asking how I was doing. I am much better. Having my padded cell helps a lot. It gives me something good to focus on.

Arreal:
Good for you Xenia. Stay stronge hon. I've always wanted a rubber room, not a padded one. You know, put me in a straight jacket and let me bounce off the walls. Doesn't that sound like fun? Cookie or rice krispie treat?

Xenia:
You guys crack me up!!! Alright Arreal, since you're INSISTING, I'll have a Rice Krispie Treat.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:56 pm Click here to edit this post
Tues. October 17
The Virtual House
Living Room

Luke
I will be spending some time with a friend whose brother passed away yesterday. I started a discussion topic on death. I just found out that he was on life support systems and they had decided to remove them yesterday.

Arreal
Luke what kind of life supports was he on, if you don't mind sharing. I think I will go post on the Death thread. Very interesting topic.

Xenia
Luke, I hope your friend will ease through his grief. Your friend is fortunate to have you by his side.

Luke
Hi Arreal, he has suffered from diabetes for years. I believe his leg was also amputated. On Sunday afternoon he suddenly became unresponsive and drooling. They called the ambulance and they were able to revive him but placed him on a heart-lung machine. They decided to remove him from life support. It took 20 minutes.

Last night I was getting flooded with phone calls from everyone at church. We've selected music, gathered together a choir. I think a bunch of us will spend this evening at my friend's house. Everyone was there last night but she lives an hour away from me so I wasn't able to drive down after last nite's chat. It will be quite a Filipino funeral which means that there will be services for the next 9 days following the funeral. There are a lot of cultural traditions that we follow after the death of a loved one.

Xenia
Luke, are there any traditions that continue after the funeral? Anything family and friends must do, say, over the next year? Traditions and rituals are so important when it comes to death. It makes it easier to deal with grief.

Luke
Well, this is what we did for my father. The day of the funeral begins 9 days of prayer in the home of the deceased. On the 9th day, there's supposed to be a big gathering of all the family members and after the prayers you have a big feast. There's another thing that is sometimes done at this feast, you're supposed to set a place at the table for the deceased person and fill the plate with food. Nobody touches it until everyone is done and then the kids are supposed to all eat from the plate to have a long life. For my dad, we repeated these 9 days of prayer and the feast at the end on the 1 year anniversary of his death.

Himay10ns
Wow... thank you so much for sharing that. It's nice to see people allowing themselves to become vulnerable in here. Xenia, I just want you to know you are probably one of the deepest people I have ever come in contact with. And I'm not blowing sunshine up your ass. Because of you, I've actually been searching my own soul to find out where my passions lie. And I'm determined to find out what a mercury retrograde is.

Xenia
Thanks for sharing that with us, Luke. I really do believe doing that kind of stuff makes death a more beautiful rather sad occurance. Take care and prayers to your friend. Thanks for taking an interest in me Himay. And thanks for being you Arreal.

Himay10ns
I think I'll head over to the Death thread. I have some experience in this one.

Xenia
HiMay, thank you for your openness. Hang on a sec and I'll find the definition of a Mercury retrograde. Then I must be off. [ed. Xenia posts long definition.]

Himay10ns
You're welcome Xenia. And thanks for that explanation of the mercury retrograde. I can see where you might be a bit concerned. I learn something new every day!

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:17 pm Click here to edit this post
Tues. October 17
Living Room

Roger_Ramjet:
Folks-- Hi!! [ed. could have been "What's up doc"]

I wrote adecent note, went to post it and my computer locked up-- been awhile getting back into here. Damn that pisses me off!!!

I don't have tine to recreate it-- sorry.

I'll try to get back to all of you in a bit.

Luke, I didn't blow up! hahahhaaaaa

Everyone else-- stuff ot say when I return
Himay10ns
Hi Roger! I saw that your last post was about 4:14 am this morning. I missed you by about 10 minutes! Thank you so much for trying. We've had a good morning. I learned some very interesting things about Xenia and Luke has been around most of the morning. ArReal just joined us but she's still fighting the computer demons!

Luke
Hey Roger! Ever since that first bad experience you had with posting, whenever I need to post a message of more than 3 or 4 lines, I always open my notepad and write there. Then copy and paste. I lost a long one once and I was pretty pissed. So I vowed not to make the same mistake again! Just a thought.

Himay10ns
I'm getting ready to head to a meeting. I'll try and poke my head in later to see what's going on. Have a good afternoon.

Luke
Have a great day, May!

Roger_Ramjet:
Luke-it was only going to be 3 lines!!! LOL!

Then I thought one thing, that made me think of another, and all of a sudden I had one of my usual messages! Oh well--my fault for letting the message grow like that!

Gotta run to do more with chemicals--although his time not doing things where they could explode--just looking at those to see if there are any that might! Gtteing some award too.

Sorry I can't stay!
Luke
Moon Moon Moon! How are you? How's LA weather? Wonder if it's as beautiful as it is up here in Northern CA today. How are you, my dear?

Moondance
Hi Ya'll. Just got home. I am going to catch up.

Noslonna

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:53 pm Click here to edit this post
Tues. October 17
Living Room

Luke:
Ugh. I hate doing nominations. Paying a visit to the redroom.

Himay10ns:
Luke, the Interrogator said that nominations aren't due until tomorrow at 3PST.

Luke:
WOO HOO! YOU'RE RIGHT! I almost sent in my nominations now! I thought it was by today! Thanks for that May! hehehe

Himay10ns:
With the way things change around here, I'm going to wait until the last minute. Right now I can't even pick one person that I would want to nominate. Maybe someone will piss me off by tomorrow!

Xenia:
Good choice, Himay. I wish I had been less impulsive. There was one person I nominated that I regret already.

Arreal:
Hi everyone. I'm glad nominations aren't until tomorrow. I really hate having to do that. So is anyone giving reasons this time or just posting names. He stated it was an option. Just curious.
Roger_Ramjet
Hi everyone-- I've finally made it back to my desk. Getting toward the time where other start disappearing, and I can get to the work I should have gotten to already!

Anything specific going on??? Who all is here right now??
Moondance:
Hey Arreal... Xenia... Looky Luke ... May ... Roger. Anybody around? Hi Roger... Do you want to go back to work and talk later? Sounds like you are busy.

Luke:
Moon! I'm here, wasn't refreshing my screen often enough! How have you been?

Moondance:
I am good. I feel a little detached ever since I missed the chat. How are you?

Roger_Ramjet:
I've been working all the nights this has been going on! Just different times in the day when I can switch to a slower pace and pay more attention to this than work-- unually around 5:00-5:30. I keep working till I go home.

Luke/Moon are we it right now?? I was curious if Nyk found out anything from his doc visit??
Moondance:
Was wondering myself.

Luke:
I'm about to head over to my friend's house. I'll be spending most of the night there so I might not be too talkative tonite. Funeral is on Thursday morning so a bunch of us are going to keep her company.

Roger_Ramjet:
shit--- Vyk, not Nyk--- trying to do 3 things at the same time! lol

Moon, which chat are you referring to??

Anyone want to move to the hot tub??? If I can't have one in real life, maybe it will help if Roger can get one!

Luke, how has the day been for you??

Oops, shit-- guess I know how your day is going Luke-- sorry to hear it's a bummer day.

Hope to see you later tonight.
Moondance:
Roger, I will go to the hot tub. I have some questions for you. Luke, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish there were the right words to help. You are a friend I would want to have. Watch out though I think I have all ready adopted you as one!

Roger_Ramjet:
On my way over......
Take care tonight Luke!!!!
Luke
Thanks both of you you guys are good friends. I'll be on again later tonite. Hope to catch some of you here.

Sandyc

Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 09:06 am Click here to edit this post
Good Morning Everyone. Time to play catch up.
We'll start with the Church.
--------------------------------------------------
CHURCH

Vykin
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 08:44 pm
(walking by take helmet off and walk in, no one talking tonite) psssst Big G? are you there?
(i lower my voice to a whisper)
"I See Dead People"

---------
Xenia
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 08:56 pm
Only you would have the gull to be so disrespectful in a church, Zeb. The more I read your posts, the more I become convinced the observations I wrote about you in the domestic violence thread were accurate.

-------------------------------------------------

HOT TUB

Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:03 pm
Day has been hectic but quieting down... we haven't really gotten to talk in awile and I miss chating with you

-----------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:10 pm
As I miss chatting with you Moon! I still haven't forgotten about that question on getting acknowledged---just been so many others thrown up there, and with all that's going on..I'm not too pushy of a person.
"What a wonderful world it could be..."

-----------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:14 pm
I love how Xenia is comfortable with you and opening up. You guys have really been chatting!... I think she is great.

So Roger Rabbit ... you work too much! You are such a great listener, caring soul and all around great guy but I haven't heard about a special person in your life but I really don't know if you would have the time... ( I asked you before but the convo went the other way )

-----------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:19 pm
It would be great if Xenia was comfortable around me---seems she has lots going on for real that isn't all that great. It would be nice to be able to be a little island where she can have something positive (or at least not negative) going on.

Ask whatever you'd like about my work, or anything in my life. I'm not adverse to answering most anything. (that way I avoid giving you the shootgun affect, hoping I cover everyhing)

-----------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:27 pm
I get that feeling from Xenia too ... I want to chat more with her!

Now to you... You have been so great to tell me about your job but I am thinking that you put in a lot of hours and I know how much you love your job so I am sure it is easy to get lost in it. So my question ... do you have anyone special in your life?

-----------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:31 pm
No, not at this time, and not in the past number of years.

I make a successful effort not to get "lost" in my job. I consider my job life and nonjob life very separate--I try to make sure when I walk out of the work door that the work stuff stays there as well. I dn't ever take work home.

----------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:36 pm
Kudos to you for keeping to that! I know a lot of people who do get lost in their jobs and in their relationships...

So, you are a hot commodity ... why hasn't someone swept you up? Do you go out much... what do you do for fun ... other than 'The Game'

------------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:43 pm
Well, I'm not a hot commodity. Over weight from not working out...need to,a lthough my mind has to be in a ceratin set, and I haven't been there for awhile. I don't go out too much---a beer and a game to relax. For fun I work (I've been serious about this one).

I have very few friends because of how I define a friend. There two I do have that are males, and the two female friends are both attached....and if not, they are not intested in me---been friends with them long enough to know that.

I also don't seek out relationships. If it can happen, it will show itself in time. My preference in women probably doesn't help.

------------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:52 pm
Preference in women meaning priorities? Because you should hold on to them.

One of the things that is obvious to me and I hope removes judgments on how a person looks would be this game... Look at the personality, love and care that you exude in here... I would hope someone who knows you would not be blind to this and scoop you up if they were to meet you in person. We live in such a superficial world sometimes... funny coming from someone in Hollywood

------------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 05:59 pm
I've never been concerned about looks when it comes to a relationship. For some guys it counts a lot. As much as I hear women say the same thing, of the women I know (not juts friends--the ones I know) looks are every bit as important as for the picky guys. Not a b!tch--just a data point.

No, by preference, I mean what attracts me to a woman--the things I would want in a relationship. I know myself well enough to know what I want out of a relationship--what excites me, what I need that person to be/do. (that last one has to do with the traits/ethics/approach to life they would have)

What about you???

-------------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:06 pm
I think we are misunderstanding each other!

I think we agree on the preferencec being what you listed as priorities. That s what I meant too

I agree about the looks thing that is why I would hope people in general would not make that so important! Just think you are great and should be on the market

Me... I had my heart broken in Feb. so I am a little gun shy!

---------------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:17 pm
Oh, we are saying the same thing using different words! lol

Thanks for your comments!! I guess by definition, I see myself "on the market" lol

How was your heart broken?? Or would you prefer not saying in this forum?? I sucks what people do to each other sometimes!

-------------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:28 pm
It was a combination of things... he just wasn't ready for commitment.

We were both hurt. I did learn more about myself with him then I have with anyone so I am grateful... I hope he was able to see the good too.

I am not lonely.. I am alone... there is a difference but it would be nice to share some things with someone... How about you... do you get lonely or feel alone?

-------------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:39 pm
It's great that you were able to learn something about yourself. So many feel the need to blame the other person for everything...when in fact it's typical that both parties had a hand in it.

Funny you should mention alone and loney. Two words that for me have very different meanings from each other. For me alone means that I don't have a current serious relationship (actaully, there is no serious comical one either).

Lonely means to me that I am empty inside, and that emptiness is a result of not being in a relationship. I hear some people saying "I wish I had a man/woman so I wasn't lonely."

Probably not a good reason to get involved with someone--just to have them as comany. Needs ot be so much more, IMHO.

I'd like to be in a situation where I can open up every single thing about myself, have it accepted and loved totally for who I am, and have that person feel enough love, trust, comfort that they too could competely show every sinlge thing about themselves--and I would love them totally.

As the Purple Snorkelwacker told Binkley though, "pipe dreams are under the bed."

------------
Moondance
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 06:49 pm
(Actually, there is no serious comical one either.) LOL

You said that so well, Roger... I agree with everything you wrote... That is why I say I am alone (soul control of the remote control)! But I am far from lonely! I actually am a loner in many ways. I have never been afraid to spend time with myself and I also feel sad when I hear someone thinks that someone will 'fill them up.'

I think I like Purple Snorkelwaker!

---------------
Roger_Ramjet
Tuesday, October 17, 2000 - 07:00 pm
You might not--he brings Binkley an axiety all the time, as he is the keeper of all of Binkey's anxieties--and he lives in Binkley's closest. It's from a specific cartoon strip---can you believe that coming from me???!!

I too am a loner. Not out of want, although I do very well with it! lol I'm not a control person...as long as I get to have a partial vote when I really really care about something. I tend to be able to get by with most anything, so the other person can make a lot of choices. (if I could just find a woman who doesn't wear make-up to go along with all of that!!!)

Sandyc

Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 09:11 am Click here to edit this post
THE INTERNET CAMERA

----------
Vykin
Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 12:03 am
Hullo, whoever is out there.
I hope u all had a chance to click the link to my family photos. Its not always that I share my private life online so I ask that you not spread them to too many people. If you missed the link, here it is again:
http://members.aol.com/Rossanader/index8.html

Today has been quiet here, everyone seems to be reflecting. Before I turn in, I will share a BedTime Story about Age and Growing Old:

A few years back I was in a facilitators training workshop. Robert *****, from California was the main presenter and trainer. The man had bleached white hair, very trim and combed to perfection. He dressed well. After 3 days of sessions with him. Some of us felt he was a bit full of himself, and cocky. I don't recollect what led to the following question, but here's the lesson Robert taught me and those privileged to listen:

Robert was asked how old he was. He replied, "I am Sixty". A gasp fell over the room. We did not believe he was sixty. (Looked perhaps in his early fifties, (like the guys younger adults talk about - who drive around in convertibles trying to relive their childhood).

The next question to Robert: "What did it feel like when you turned sixty?".

Suddenly Roberts demeanor changed. He sat on a stool and began to tell us a story, in a most humbling way. His persona completely changed. His voice lowered and in a hushed voice he spoke:

"The worst year of my life, was my 59th year. I became obsessed and fearful of turning Sixty. As the year fast approached sixty, I began having anxiety attacks. Throughout my life, I had always felt the number 60 means you're old. I never thought I could be Old. As the day drew nearer, I realized I couldn't handle it, I had suicidal thoughts. My wife noticed the decline in me. She was very concerned and tried to reassure me that I wasn't old, not to worry. It didn't comfort me, I became consumed with the idea I can't do it, I can't accept being old. I fell into a deep depression."

"We live on the ocean in California," he said. "One day, my darkest day, I decided I'm going to the ocean and commit suicide.". We listened intently, not a sound from the room.

Robert continued, "I walked out to the beach, I cried, I looked out into the vast ocean. Something happened inside me, without realizing I stooped down and picked up a few pebbles off the beach, rolled them unknowingly in my hands." "My thoughts began to change as I looked at the pebbles in my hand", "What a pathetic man I am, not wanting to get old". "Then something occurred to me, as I looked at these pebbles", he continued, "I picked out 7 of the nicer pebbles, before I commit suicide, I'm going to think back on my life."
Robert, continued, it was passed the lunch break, but we didn't move.

"I took the first pebble, I tried to remember every single thought I had between the age of 0 - 10. As I completed my thoughts, I took that pebble and tossed it out to the ocean", "I continued with the next pebble, thought about my life from 10-20years".

Robert continued - he took each decade of his life thus far, thought about all the wonderful things he could think, and with the completion of each decade, he'd toss the pebble into the ocean - with a smile.

Finally, he had one pebble left. It was for the time of 60-70 years. He looked at it, he realized he'd just spent hours on the beach, thinking about his whole life. And what a good life it had been, wife, children, friends. It was then he realized, how silly he'd been to be so fearful of turning Sixty, and how ashamed he was to realize how close he came to ending his life for no good reason, but his own selfishness.

Robert, looked again at his last pebble. He took it, put it in his pocket, and on that day he realized how much he looked forward to the next decade of his life.

Someone asked, what he did with that last pebble. Robert smiled, put his hand in his pocket and pulled it out, showed it to us all, like a badge of honor. He said, "This pebble is not ready to be thrown into the ocean yet - its purpose is done yet".

So, to all the elderly folks out there, and those who feel they are old. Take some time, find some pebbles, think about each decade of your own life, smile, and toss that pebble, but save the memories, for they, Never Grow Old.

(The above true story I dedicate to my friend "Triplicate", who is 59years old, whom I met not too long ago,during BB chats and though decades span between us, she has taught me things I never could imagine, most importantly her zest for life at the age she is! Big Canadian Grizzly Hug to you my friend, you know who you are)

--------------
Xenia
Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 02:38 am
Enough hogging the camera, Giblets!
I'm having trouble sleeping.

Ever since I looked through the domestic violence thread and began to finally see how passive/aggressive Zeb really is, the idea of him having the personality of an abuser really bothers me. People like him are so unpredictable.

They appear to be balanced on the outside, but there's definite issues raging inside.

And then I ask myself, how do I feel about participating in a game with a potential abuser? What has happened to all the women who have entered his life? Do they all share a secret about the way he really is? Zeb seems like the type who would be abusive then swear his victim deserved it and he did nothing wrong.

What I wouldn't give to put a leather collar around Zeb's neck, put him in a diaper, grab him by the hair and push his head in my toilet and make him lick it clean. I'd want him to know what it feels like to be powerless just like, I am almost certain, he has made women feel.

I could be wrong. It's just this feeling I have.

--------------
Xenia
Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 08:34 am
The "Brittany Halloween Costume" thread made me laugh hysterically!!!! THANK YOU!!!