ArReal
The ClubHouse: The Game - Discussion Room: The Red Room:
ArReal
Moderator | Sunday, October 08, 2000 - 10:57 am  ArReal enters the Red Room confessional and sits down facing the screen. The Interrogator says: Good evening. Feel free to say anything you wish. Maybe something you didn't give voice to while talking with the other players, or some opinion you want to state. ArReal smiles, tossles her hair and says: I think things in house are going great. I'm enjoying some of the really deep conversations. A meeting of the minds. She then pouts and says: I find I may have some personality conflicts with other people in here. Actually only one person. It's pretty normal for me to avoid people I find I may have a conflict with. If its a topic of discussion I am passionate about, I will jump in with my beliefs, but I normally don't attack a person. I think the biggest thing that bothers me in here is that it is so hard to keep a conversation going. People seem to state one or two things about a topic and then go on their way way. There is a moments silence, then the Interrogator says: If that is all, we will talk again tomorrow. ArReal smiles and says: night... She then gets up and leaves the room. |
Moderator | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 08:45 am  ArReal enters the Red Room and sits down. She seems to think something over for a moment and then says: I want to talk about how much I appreciate the work all the others put into the challenge. I feel a bit of guilt for not participating much, but I didn't know how to help. I know nothing about planes or war, weapons or anything. I hope that I can be help in the next group challenge. I sorely lacked in this one. ArReal smiles demurely then gets up and leaves. |
Moderator | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 02:12 pm  ArReal blushes at the screen and says: I'm enjoying the topics of discussion. They are great. However, the most recent one about Eyes Wide Shut---I knew nothing about the movie. I really haven't heard or read anything about it. I just knew I just knew the stars in it and that it was supposed to be big in sexual content. Orgies were in it? Wow, good thing I never rented it when I wanted to. :-) ArReal smiles demurely then gets up and leaves. |
Moderator | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 05:39 pm  ArReal strolls into the Red Room and says: Hey there Mr. Interrogator. The Interrogator says in an even voice: You have gotten to meet and know each other for a couple of days. Sometimes first impressions last the longest. Select two houseguests, preferably one you like and one you don't (or one you like the least) and tell me YOUR impression. ArReal whines: Do I have to answer this question? The Interrogator coldly states: Yes. After some nervous laughter ArReal says: I think I like Vyk the best. I have actually talked to him the most. I really have appreciated him starting different conversations on the board. I also think he is a wee bit silly. I get a kick out of Prezidential reports. The guy has a sense of humor, but he also has a logical mind. ArReal pauses and thinks for a few moments. Then she says: I have to say I like Xenia the least. I just don't like what I've seen so far. She seems to get pissy with her opinions on the topics. It's like she has to be right. Then she outright attacked another BG in the house verbally. I don't appreciate this. People can disagree without being nasty and mean. ArReal smiles demurely then gets up and leaves. |
Moderator | Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 09:58 am  While in the Red Room for her daily chat ArReal shrugs and says: I'm up for banishment. I really don't have much feeling either way about it. I think of it this way, If I get to stay, Great, more time to get to know people, participate in the discussion and challenges. If I get banished, I wouldn't have a problem at all. I enjoyed the chat today, just being part of a bigger community was nice. That is about it. The Interrogator says: We will talk again tomorrow. ArReal smiles and leaves the room. |
Moderator | Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 01:48 pm  ArReal was in the Red Room for a quick chat. She tells the Interrogator: I really have nothing to talk about today. It's been a very interesting day in the house. Good conversation and a little conflicting happening. She pauses and chuckles, then says: I think I know who Tuk is? I pretty much spilled my guts to the camera viewers and I am all out of introspective thoughts for the day. |
Moderator | Thursday, October 12, 2000 - 09:28 pm  ArReal enters the room and sits down. She says: I really don't feel any different because I am up for banishment. Like I was telling Roger last night, I can see good things about being banished or staying. I'm enjoying being here for the simple fact that I find it a learning situation. Learning about myself and others and that is always a positive thing. On the flip side, I would be happy to see my friends. I would like to be one of the people on the outside watching in, picking my favorites. I could be so evil out there. I'm happy either way. bye Gator <waving> |
Host | Saturday, October 14, 2000 - 11:03 pm  ArReal enters the room, and casually takes a seat. She says: Hi Gator I was so ready to walk last night. The only thing that stopped me was my computer falling apart. I don't know if I should be upset about that or not. I hate the fact that my newer computer is on the fritz. And truthfully, I'm not sure how I feel about being in the house right now. I feel that everything that happened in the last few days has brought me closer to some in the house but conpletely ruined my chances of getting to know others. I regret that. Last night when I wanted to walk I was feeling many different things...anger, regret, defensiveness, shame, and guilt. I was angry that I was being attacked by certain house guests, which also made me defensive. I tried to defend myself and in the process I hurt others. I didn't like being called malicious or dishonest. My intent was never to consciously hurt. I know it may look that way to others, especially Tali. I can look back and say that Tali was innocent in all this. She trusted me and because of my own insecurities and paranoias, I hurt her. I feel so ashamed of all that. When she needed a friend, I betrayed her trust. I am guilty of this. I wish I could sit down and talk to her and tell her these things, but I don't expect that to happen for a while. she has every right to be angry and untrusting of me. In the next few days if I appear to be going out of my way to be kind to her, it is because I am. I know I can't make anything up to her, but I want to be kind to her. I overheard Tali talking to the internet Camera today. It really bother me that she said that she felt sorry for me. Why would anyone feel sorry for me? I don't want anyones pity. I don't need friends out of pity, and I don't want sympathy. My gosh. I really don't understand that. It makes me sick to think that people pity me. One of the scariest things that I have gone through in this past year was the possibility that my mental illness could be fixed. I had an MRI done and they found something in my brain. It was thought that that could be causing my illness. I was petrified at the thought of being healthy!!!!! Now I find that people are feeling sorry for me. That is so ironic to me. I also feel bad about the way I broke Vykin's trust. My head was on a roll and my brain would not slow down. I did a lot of speculating that night. I was hurt because I was assuming. I was hurt because I expected him to back me up. I was hurt whn he told me in an IM that he WOULD back me up...then he didn't. I will not take all the blame for ALL these problems that happened though. I was hurt in this ordeal also. My trust was shaken by Vyk. I had no reason to NOT think he wouldn't back me when we had an alliance. He said in IM he would and then he didn't. I wanted him to back me because part of me is afraid that I have been to open about my illness. I could hear people on the outside screaming, "She's totally lost it now. She's crazy." I wanted him to say that he was there and he did know what I was talking about. I felt betrayed. I didn't go on to speculate about him because of my perceived betrayal. For me it was simply the next logical step and I went there. I needed to find some "rational" way, so to speak, to explain why he would betray me. Things added up. The search on the names, the lack of posts, perhaps another mole....perhaps Neil (I can't believe I went there) or another moderator. At this point I was still confused by the fact that I had been told that Tali was Gail. I was confused as to why Vyk was there also. I was trying to find a rational explaination for myself as to why I had been told about Gail and why Vyk wouldn't admit any knowledge of it. I want someone to be able to say...I listened ArReal and I understand how you could have went down that path of speculation. I want someone to believe there there really was no malicious intent on my part. I want someone to understand that all 3 of us were hurt...not just one or two. I can't point a finger at anyone of us alone. Sometimes there is just no blame to be placed anywhere, other than human nature itself. I honestly feel that way. I want forgiveness and understanding. All I can do is say I messed up, I'm sorry and I hope the fans, and those who were hurt can find a way to understand and forgive. I'm still not sure I understand where Vyk is coming from, but I do forgive him. I think I have a grasp on what Tali was wanting, and I must say I was completely at fault there. I understand how I hurt her and I hope she doesn't pay for my error in judgement. I owe one more heart felt apology, and that is to Neil and Lisa. I am sorry for not trusting you in this game we are playing. I am sorry that I took things so personnally and drug Neil into my speculations. I would like to thank you for this game because it is a wonderful experience. You asked that I not walk out of the game and let friday the 13th be over. You asked that I sleep on it. I wouldn't have, but the "puter made me do it". I must say thanks for allowing me time to calm down and think things through. I would ask you both to think something through also. This game is a great experience and I think it would be a shame to not let others experience it as well. I do hope you reconsider having a second GAME. Neither of you can imagine the real feelings that we are going though by participating in it. We can tell you about it, but you can't possibly understand it. It is truly amazing what you both have put together. I'm not the only one in the house who has expressed this amazement at the emotional envolvement this is having on us. Please Neil, Lisa, reconsider. Interrogator: If there's nothing further ArReal, we'll talk again soon. ArReal nods, and leaves the room. |
Host | Monday, October 16, 2000 - 05:07 am  ArReal enters the room and takes a seat. She says: Hello Wow, you aren't the Gator. Dayum, you have a smooth, sexy voice. Do you look as good as you sound sir? I have to get my mind off track, so don't talk okay? I really didn't have anything to say except the challenge was fun. Right up my line. Did you have anything to say to me, or ask me? I did have one thought that I wanted to leave you with and that is a quote that I have always liked. "There is no such thing as darkness, only a failure to see." Malcomn Muggeridge from the NY Times. Hope you think about it. Hey sexy? Will you be on duty tomorrow? buh-bye till then....kiss ArReal waves and leaves the room. |
Host | Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 05:15 am  ArReal enters the room and takes a seat. Hey Gator, Welcome back. When is the guy with the sexy voice going to be back though? He was hot and made my blood boil. Okay! Okay! I will do them. Sheesh, tone it down Grumpy Butt. My nominations for this week are based on one thing and one think only. I am nominating three people that I see as most likely to win the game. I figure if they go head to head on the outside, one of them, or two, will have to go. Making my chances better. I nominate Roger, Luke and Vykin. That is my final answer. I realize I may be digging my own grave here, but hey, I got to be willing to take a risk. :-) I'm outtie here. ArReal exits the room abruptly. |
Moderator | Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 09:49 pm  ArReal walks in and sits down . . . Hey Gator, What's up? So what do you think of our song so far? Pretty cool isn't it. Just a couple things I want to say. First, I really hope Zeb gets to stay this week. I hope he survives banishment. He is one of the few left in the house who continuously brings laughter. I think it would be a shame to lose him. I know that sounds odd coming from me, considering everyone, myself included, thought Zeb and I would have a great many conflicts in here. I just think he adds a lot to the house/boards. I also think it would be a shame to lose Xenia from the house. She is intelligent and witty. She makes us think. I also love the fact that she adds spark to the house. She is emotional and not afraid to say what she thinks and feels. I find that refreshing when so many people in here are trying so hard to be everyone's best friend. I just think this board would be pretty boring without the two of them around. I'm also thankful and very surprised that I was not up for banishment this week. What a relief. I was about certain that I would be. I can breath a big sigh of relief. Whew! Oh, one more thing Gator, give Gail a hug for me. Ciao!!!! ArReal jumps out of the chair and bounces out of the room. |
Moderator | Saturday, October 21, 2000 - 11:20 am  ArReal breezes into the red Room and alights in the chair. She says: Hey Gator The Interrogator says: Good Morning Board Guest. Were you surprised by the banishment results last night? ArReal shakes her head and says: No. What was the real surprise for me about the second round of nominations is the fact that I was not up for banishment. As far as Zeb and Zenia being banished, it wasn't really a surprise considering they were up for banishment against Luke and Roger. However, if I had my wish for the situation, both Zebulon and Xenia would have stayed in the game as I mentioned earlier. Zeb brought laughter and Xenia brought spark. I'll miss them both. The Interrogator says: Were you surprised by either of their good byes? ArReal ponders the question for a moment and says: No. I was not really surprised by Xenia's 'dry', post banishment, good-byes. Xenia seemed happy to be out of the game. I think she was very bored in the game and really wanted out. For me, this fact was not really questioned. During the good-byes I was surprised to find that she decided to be cold to most of us. I was also surprised to find out how she felt about me. I think in her main good-bye post she was honest in expressing her thoughts towards all of us. I think she was hurt by many of the events in the game and all the Xenia bashing that took place. Because of this, her final post to us was cold which made it difficult for us to express sorrow at her leaving. The Interrogator says: And Zebulon? ArReal smiles and says: We were more focused on the positive good-byes towards Zeb because he was being positive about it. The Interrogator says: If that is all, we will talk again later. ArReal waves and trundles out of the room. |
Moderator | Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 08:52 am  ArReal storms into the Red Room and slams into the chair. She shouts: I am so pissed about the speculations concerning my computer problems. I can't believe how far Vyk will go to make me look bad. She pauses to collect herself then continues: I have been honest and I have bashed no one. But now, I will risk everyone's wrath in telling the truth. The IM's between Vyk and myself, I honestly don't recall who started them. But information was being exchanged. Not petty stuff. Vyk told me about that "New York Times" artical long before we got it as a reward! He also told me that it was Ocean Islands who wrote it and it was all a big hoax. His doctors and therapists told him. You can see his reference to his doctors/therapists in some of his earlier internet camera posts! There was even more information exchanged between us. ArReal pauses again to catch her breath. Then she says: In private I asked him who Muzzy was. In the first open chat, this person Muzzy was talking crap about me. He denied knowing that person. Then I asked him why he mentioned her by name in his Camera posts. He then admitted he knew her. If you want to know who the real liar is, don't look farther than Vyk. He has lied to everyone, including all the house guests! The thing that pisses me off is now he is attacking me about my computer problems. That is bull. Why does the wonderful Vyk need to attack someone? Because he is cheating with outside contact with his doctors? Because he has to make someone look bad so he looks good? I guess he has to hide behind us so that no one notices that he is truly the one cheating. The Interrogator states: If that is all, I will pass on your complaint to the Host, and we will talk again later. ArReal nods her head, gets up, and stalks out of the room. |
|