Mixed Signals

The ClubHouse: The Game - Play Room: General Discussions: Mixed Signals

Vykin

Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 07:24 pm Click here to edit this post
My friends aunt and uncle are in their late sixties. In Canada we have two official languages - English and French.
All signs, food labels etc must have french and english language. INcluding all road signs.

Alec and Molly are on a road trip back east in Canada. They are on the freeways. Alec is driving.
After a few days Alec turns to Molly and says,
"You know Molly, I can't figure it out! Where the heck is this town "Sortie" ????" look how often we've passed the exit to Sortie. I've never even heard of that town!"
(Sortie is French for Exit)

Vykin

Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 07:27 pm Click here to edit this post
My friend Linda, who I mentioned in the funny people folder. Her parents are in their mid 70s.
I've known them for at least two decades.

Nancy is going shopping for groceries, she asks, "Bill, what do you want from Safeway?"
Bill responds, "You know Nancy, get me some of that really really good cheese"
Nancy asks "Which Cheese?"
Bill says: "You know that Fromage Cheese"
(Fromage is the French word for Cheese)

Again two official languages? That will do it!
No wonder we Canadians are confusing to foreigners.

Vykin

Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 07:49 pm Click here to edit this post
A friend and I went on a roadtrip, we began to Vancouver to see Phantom of the Opera. AFter that we planned to swing our way back home but via Seattle. Off we went. My friend just got a new car, but was not experienced driving on freeways. In Canada, we are on metric system, so mileage is in kilometers. In the USA of course its different. We cross the border, enter the freeway. Bay starts to slow down the speed limit.
Then turns to me and says, "The speed limit said 60 - why aren't people slowing down?"
I respond, "Perhaps because its 60 miles per hour, not 60 kilometers per hour (which is about
30 miles per hour) Bay was still in Kilometer mode.

Vykin

Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 07:52 pm Click here to edit this post
Silly American Friends:
While vacationing in Puerto Vallarta, we met some great american friends, Red and Sandy. Red was a joker, we got along great. Sandy is great too, but gullible. We were setting a date in the summer for them to come visit Canada.
Sandy can't figure out the date. REd says, "Sandy, that's cuz in Canada their calendars are also metric". Sandy actually fell for that one! Came and asked me. Of course I said, yes they are metric. We told her the truth after two days.

Vykin

Saturday, October 28, 2000 - 08:08 pm Click here to edit this post
Applicant a longtime teacher in our school district comes in for shortlist interviews for a Principalship at a highschool. He sits down,
I in charge of hiring, attempt to make him feel relax.
"John, welcome how do you feel today?"
John responds, "I feel Great! I know I'm gonna get this job!"
He didn't get the job.

Vykin

Sunday, October 29, 2000 - 12:13 am Click here to edit this post
When I worked in a neighboring school district for 9 years, we had a fabulous superintendent, CEO. Teddy (looked like a big teddybear, always a grin on his face). We wud get numerous visits from the RCMP who dealt closely with us on various issues. Coincidently, his private secretary was married to a policeman. Well, a group of seven of the female staff decide, Teddy doesn't get mad at jokes, time to play one on him. Let alone Lisa his wife, who was friends w/staffers getting in the prank like a dirty shirt. (like my John and Diane from Xcity).

Okay the Prank:

Teddy had a meeting at one of the schools, the past few months held many meetings about the issue of drugs (use of cocaine rising etc.). We set it up. Teddy has a big "fancy" desk. One of the girls gets icing sugar and a big ziploc bag.
puts it in Teddys drawer of the desk.
Lisa, Teddy's wife is on "standby" at "home" (meaning hidden in an office downstairs). Waiting to make a predetermined telephone call to Teddy at the Board Office.

Teddy arrives back frm his meeting, goes to his office and gets briefed on msgs from his secretary. Office switchboard rings, Lisa is on the phone. The call is put through to Teddy.

Simultaneously, an RCMP officer walks in to the front counter. He requests to see Teddy.
Meantime, Teddy is on phone, Lisa is saying in an overly "nervous voice", "Teddy, whats happening the police were just here they are looking for you!". Teddy back into the phone, "Lisa, calm down calm down. What do you mean? What did they want??? (his office door is open office people loitering close by "pretending" to be working.

Level of uncertainty enters Teddy's voice. "Lisa, I don't understand! What? You aren't making sense!".

Right at this moment the arrived RCMP officer, has another RCMP join him at the front desk.
Carrying Handcuffs. They are given the "signal".
Two policeman "stomp" down the short hallway and burst into Teddy's office (who is still on the phone). Teddy looks up, his face goes white.

"Mr. BigCheese, we hereby arrest you on charges of possession of cocaine for the purposes of trafficking". Teddy is having a heart attack.
Handcuffs slapped on his hands. Phone has dropped outta his hand. He can't hear wife, Lisa laughing hysterically!

"What? What? This is crazy! Drugs???".
Police Officer #1 opens his desk drawer, pulls out bag of "cocaine" aka icing sugar.
Teddy has now "died and gone to heaven" in his mind. Sweat is pouring down his face. Which is stark white by now. Teddy, does not hear or notice all of us snickering trying to control ourselves.

RCMP escort, Teddy outside to a waiting police car. He doesn't clue in.

We all have gathered, management/staffers about 14 of us. Snuck out the side office door. We burst out laughing and cheer him.

Teddy realizes he's been had, but had good!