Archive through October 10, 2000
The ClubHouse: The Game - Play Room: General Discussions:
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Archive through October 10, 2000
Himay10ns | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 07:12 pm  I really need some cheering up...why don't you guys tell everyone your all-time favorite joke. Make us laugh!  |
Zebulon | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 07:24 pm  What do you get when you cross your sleep over date with an embarrassing situation? Dumped |
Xenia | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 07:32 pm  You do realize Zeb that anyone with a brain can see right through you and knows what you're doing. If you want to be an assh-le be genuine about it. Do it because you honestly feel passionate about something and want to express your opinions in a blantant way. You're being childish. Stop it. Leave the mind-f-cking to someone who is better at it than you are. Get back to your role as a "The Game" lush. It's much more entertaining. |
Zebulon | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 07:48 pm  This is a real situation that I have a problem with. I'm not making anything up here and I don't have any special angle. I'm very aware this confrontation could get me kicked out. This is terrible what she did to that guy and I hope she doesn't make a habit of it. It's very lame...not honest at all. |
Zebulon | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 07:52 pm  Xenia, I've enjoyed your thorough comments and I can appreciate your defense of your friend, but the fact remains that what she did showed very weak character. If you want to escalate this further, I'll be glad to play and then we can let the outside people be the judge. Otherwise, I've made a valid disagreement and we can let it go at that. |
Xenia | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 08:04 pm  Zeb: Get a f-cking grip. First, let's acknowledge that neither one of us know what really, truly happened with Himay and what went through the mind of the guy she was involved with. Having said that, are you not capable of empathy? It is damn obvious that the whole bathroom thing was the surface issue and that there were underlying fears or motivations that caused the situation to end as it did. That is apparent. Think about it: If the relationship had any depth, I think, she would have dealt with it differently. You are doing two things: You're being a assh-le to get attention within the game and you're also transferring your feelings about your negative experiences and dumping them on Himay. By the way, I don't consider Himay to be a friend. A co-game player yes, a friend, no. |
Zebulon | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 08:10 pm  First, don't try to analyze me. You'll hurt yourself. Second, I don't seeing being embarrassed as a reason to cut all communication with someone. That's a crappy thing to do. Would you like it if some guy did that to you? |
Zebulon | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 08:34 pm  <minutes of silence prevails so exiting back to hot tub area> |
Vykin | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 09:57 pm  (I enter having overheard the heated exchange - I think to myself: "These people are effen nuts!!!, they can't even tell a joke without getting into a battle with each other. Oh well at least they've cleared the room, so I'll do what this area was intended to do and tell myself one of my favorite jokes) Okay Vyks here it goes: Airplane flying from L.A. to Miami. The passengers are all seated. Stewardess comes up to a Blonde sitting in First Class and says: "Excuse me Miss, but this is First Class, your ticket is for Economy, please take your things and move to the Economy seats on the airplane". Blonde Responds: "I ain't moving! I'm sitting right here and I'm going to Miami!!!!" Stewardess says, again with frustration, "Excuse me Miss, but really, you can't sit in First Class, you must go to Economy seats on the plane!" Blond Responds: "I ain't moving!!! I'm sitting right here and be damned but I'm going to Miami!!" Stewardess goes to the Pilot, explains the situation. Pilots comes to First Class, approaches the Blonde. He leans down and whispers into the Blonde's ear. The Blonde jumps up, grabs her bags, and heads for Economy section. The Stewardess in awe of the Pilot, says, "Excuse me captain, but what did you say, to convince her to move so quickly from First Class???" Pilot replies: "I told her First Class doesn't land in Miami" HA HA HA ROFLMAO ROFLMAO VYKS HA HA HA THATS A GOOD ONE VYKS!!! (vyks laughing out loud but thinking to self> gosh I love when I laugh at my own jokes!) |
Mantastic | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 09:46 am  Heh. Wow. A moderately funny *blonde* joke... I didn't think there was such a thing, but count on Vyk to find one. On a beautiful Saturday afternoon, in an idyllic town in middle America, a priest decides to take a walk to compose next weekend's sermon. He crosses the village common and has a seat on a bench under a blossoming cherry tree, gazing fondly across the duckpond for inspiration. On the other side of the pond he notices a cherubic little girl of maybe seven or so, playing with her little doggie. The sound of her joyful giggles carries over the air, and the priest thinks to himself that he is a lucky guy, to be this blessed. He watches for awhile. The girl's pigtails, her innocent bearing, her uncomplicated joy, all seem to express the values he wants to emphasise to his congregation. He gets up and walks around the edge of the pond, and approaches the little girl. "Good afternoon, little girl," he says warmly. "Good afternoon, father," the little girl answers back, smartly. "I see you're enjoying the afternoon, playing with your little dog," he says. "I sure am," the girl responds. "He loves the outdoors." "And what's your little dog's name?" the priest asks with a smile. "I call him Porky," says the little girl. "Why do you call him that?" "Because he likes to f*ck pigs." -------------------------------- Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. <tap tap> Is this thing on? I kill me.  |
Moondance | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:47 pm  I got this joke in my e-mail... A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What in heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice weekend," said the officer. |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 01:01 pm  I would include something, although the two funniest jokes, that have been stuck in my mind since this was created are very "mental image" jocks that are beyond crude. While I find mental image jokes to be usually decent, and I love these two in particular--again way crude though. I'll see if I can rise above them and get some others in my mind that have some humor value. Ok, there is also a man bashing joke that I have, however it's pretty crude as well. |
Mantastic | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 01:09 pm  Hey Rog, what are 'mental image' jokes? Who cares if its crude, dude? Lay it on us. |
Moondance | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 01:42 pm  At a crowded bus stop in downtown Austin, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her surprise she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!" At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends. |
Mantastic | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 01:53 pm  clap clap clap clap clap!! |
Mantastic | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 02:17 pm  All time favourite Punchline Without A Joke: "Rectum? It damn near killed him!" |
Zebulon | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 03:46 pm  That made me remember one: A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a beer and while he's enjoying his brew, the monkey starts jumping all over the place, grabs some olives off the bar, and eats them. Then the monkey grabs some sliced limes and eats them, jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?!" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball." He finishes his beer, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and his monkey is with him. He orders a beer and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry laying on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?!" "Now what?" asks the patron. "He stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!" (ba boom ching!) |
Himay10ns | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 03:52 pm  Zeb, ROTFLMAO!!!!! I can't wait to tell that one at work tomorrow!!!!! <clap, clap, clap> |
Himay10ns | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 03:57 pm  Hey, later on tonight, after we've had a few beers, I'll tell you the crudest joke I've ever heard. It has the "P" word in it!! hehehe |
Zebulon | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 04:35 pm  Thanks HiMay.  |
Moondance | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 04:59 pm  The Golden Phones It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. He went to a very large church and began taking photographs, etc. He spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a sign which reads "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asks about the phone and the sign. The pastor answers that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. He thanks the pastor and continues on his way. As he continues to visit churches in Seattle, Boise, Minneapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee, New York, Atlanta, and on around the United States, he finds more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrives in Texas. Upon entering a church in Dallas, lo and behold, he sees the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign reads "Calls: 25 cents." Fascinated, he requests to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I found this golden telephone, and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?" The pastor, smiling benignly, replies, "Oh, my son, that's very easy to explain. You see, you're now in Texas and, of course, it's a local call from here." |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 05:11 pm  May--The male bashing joke I mentioned has that word in it as well--and it's the least crude of the 3!! By the way, anyone confused why a MALE bashing joke would have the P word in it??? haha |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 05:14 pm  Mantasic--a mental image joke is one which depends upon the listener having a mental picture in their head be what they find so funny. (or in the case of my jokes, sick and funny) I'm still working on others that would be worthy of this thread. |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 05:16 pm  Sorry Mantastic---as I say your nmae the first time with slurred speech. |
Vykin | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 05:32 pm  Moondance YKM, I'm ROFLMAO big time |
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