Archive through October 10, 2000
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Archive through October 10, 2000
Arreal | Monday, October 09, 2000 - 11:59 pm  My man...he is a doll, truly the most wonderful gift I could have ever gotten. He is wonderful. lol He doesn't mind that I'm on here all the time. He accepts me as who I am, and that really astonishes me. he treats me with love and respect. I'm his ornery little redhead, and he's my dork. (Our pet names for each other) lol One of the biggest things about my illnes is difficult getting and maintaining relationships, plus having extreme fears of real or imagined abandonment. I am ever greatful that he stuck with me through the difficult times. |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:02 am  Arreal, a quitter???? I don't know. When someone walks away becuase they are losing, or because they just can't handle it any more, that's what comes to my mind for quitter. IMHO, it seems like for each of us, when that happens is different. Whhat you juts described sounds like (unless I'm misunderstanding you) you get through the cycle of something. You may do it in a shorter time frame because you are more ingrossed than others. It doesn't mean you try any less than those you wouldn't call quitters--you just get to completion with it at a differnt time??? Am I really off base wit what you were saying?? I was concerned you weren't being objective about that term "quitter". |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:03 am  Like I've always said, My therapist calls me special, so it must be true. lol I also have a couple of bumper stickers. One says...you're just jealous because the voices don't talk to you. The other says... I chose not to live in reality. Very fitting for me don't ya think?  |
Vykin | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:05 am  hey rog, arreal, moon, luke, am I the only one feeling exhausted??? We should get paid for this job, it takes a lot of time! I just had a scrap fight with Big H about the Two Request Folders, even provided evidence in the Official Request Folder, he better respond with a clear explanation. Tired of getting treated like a kid when we make requests. |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:08 am  Isn't it too bad when we are astonished when someone accepts us for who we are, provides love and support, and is a true friend?? Shouldn't we be thankful, instead of astonished?? To me, that says that it doesn't happen very much, and people believe that they won't ever get to experience that. It seems a lot of people try to make us something out to be other than who we are--then they try to accept that person. Big trouble when they don't match. Glad your guy provides you that. Ya know, it's easy to stick with someone when you can accept them for who they are. well, IMHO, anyway |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:09 am  Well, sometimes the right 'mood' never happens again and I never finish things. For example: about 10 years ago my friend asked me to write her a senual/sexual romance short story. I started and three days later realized it was going to be a novel...already 9 chapters long. I took a break from it and to this day, I haven't finished it. It still sits at my desk...9 chapters. To me, I view that as a failure and a flaw in me. And still, something I really don't see that I can control. I don't know. I mean I did stick with college...but topics were every changing...more challenges and new things to keep my brain active all the time. |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:12 am  Arreal--LOL on the bumper stickers!!! hehe Vykin--main Host (not helper hosts) is a she. enbwife actually. So, what's the story with the folders?? I saw a post you had written--wasn't sure what you were saying--I took a quick look from here. (I'm fast!! lol) |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:17 am  So, you took what was supposed to be a short story and turned it into 9 chapters of what was becoming a novel, and you call that failing?? Interesting definition of failing...not one I would have used (although I'm sure not the final word on anything!) Hey Arreal, if it's that important for you not to be a failure (at least with that), have you tried going though those 9 chapters and see if there is material to compile a short story?? If there was, would you still say you failed on that one?? Humm? |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:18 am  Hi Vyk, nice to join us. I say your rants about the Big H. I love them...lol It is sad that we find that Roger. Part of my extreme insecurities comes from growing up...abuse and such. Most of my memories of growing were blocked out. Then when Lucy came along...she was my memory. It wasn't a pleasant time for me. I always heard this little voice in my head telling me how bad I was. How worthless I was, and how I didn't deserve to live. Everything she was telling me was what I as a child had heard. Lucy just took it all in to protect me. Amazing how the mind works to protect us. I was basically hypnotizing my self as a young kid, and as an adult, around age 26 it started coming back to me. I met my current husband when I was 31. So my insecurities were very fresh and new. Rattle on and on and on. |
Vykin | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:19 am  roger there are two different areas for Requests right now, Regarding Hosts response to me saying he could be a she, I have also responded to that. and in fact, my response when viewed seems more politically correct. But seriously, I do want to know why there are two request folders, one unedited the other edited. |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:21 am  The two main characters had only just met. LOL Had a long way to go before being in the middle of the story. hehehe lol I've tried to go back a few occassions to finish it, but sheesh, at ten years old, my whole mind set and person has changed. It wouldn't be the same story. |
Vykin | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:24 am  roger, i just checked my "new mgs" and see you have read my response to the Host, do you think the Big H, knows that I'm trying to drive "them" crazy? (oh by the way "them" also has "he" in it because Big H may have a split personality - you know one time thinks is a she other times thinks is a he. Perhaps Arreal cud shed some light on this, since it seems see is Sybil |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:27 am  Arreal--I'm more than willing to listen no matter who much or what you have to say. Humans are facinating to me. We are so unusual, for a lack of a better term. So much potential as a species, so much bad stuff. Individuals shine though--it's what's saved us. We keep stepping on our dicks, then keep picking ourselves back up. We are our own worst enemies as much as our own best protectors. Yes, it is amazing what the mind does to protect us. Manybe what most call your illness is actaully your cure!! Youe may not have an illness--you may be fighting na infection, so to speak. It's like the game--reacting to stimuli...just the your stimuli was much more powerful and with you muc longer. I think the hradest thing for a perosn is to accept who they are to a point where they loose those feelings you mention. To know that the "good" and the "bad" are in fact just you--and can be a really great person. Ita's all part of the package, and one part can't be excluded, or you aren't the same person. I ramble now.. I |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:30 am  Meanie Brat Vyk, why I oughta..... lol  |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:34 am  Vykin--you crack me up!! Host must be lovin' you a lot right now. hey, at least part of her responded to some of the requests. She cold have told you to take a flying leap at the perverbial rolling donut. Hey Arreal, just two hours away! |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:37 am  I like it when you ramble Roger. You make sense when you ramble. I like Vyk's ramblings too. His most embarrassing moment...lol how funny. I find human nature fascinating as well. Guess it's why I went into Sociology and Psychology. Nothing is more amazing than the human spirit. As far as accepting parts of a person, that is tough. In my situation I had 8 distinct parts....fugues like Lucy....to heal I had to learn what part they were and what memories they held. I had to accept all of them as me. That was difficult. I only have two parts left that are seperate from me...in that they can take over me. One is Lucy...I accept her and enjoy her. I don't want to give her up. The other one is the angry, rebellious teen-ager named Steffi. I have a hard time claiming her. I really don't like her. lol |
Moondance | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:38 am  Hey guys... I posted a thread on creativity and passion ... kind of nervous though with the stigma that goes along with it! Jamie keeps screaming in my head because I think she wanted fame for different reasons then someone who really is passionate about acting...Of course creativity is about so many different things... I am just still on a high from class I can't sleep for a while so ... |
Moondance | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:39 am  Hi Vykin ...hope you got your problem cleared up! |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:45 am  I just came from there and read it...I liked it. I wouldn't worry too much about it hon. You wrote very well and I think you were clear on your joy about it. I wouldn't worry about it, unless of coarse you just put lipgloss on and checked your make-up. I might be concerned then...lol Welcome back. |
Vykin | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:48 am  hi moon, I'm gonna go check ur folder, if I don't post in there tonite I will early in the morning. re my problem, am I the only one who sees two areas to post requests? |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:50 am  Arreal--Thanks for thinking I make sense when I ramble. You are correct that self acceptance is the hradest thing to come to terms with. So many factors, and so many deraliments if we let them happen--and most people do let them happen. Or wrose yet, they don't try at all. In your case, I can see where you have the task of accepting much more. Ya know, if everyone celebrated their successes as much as when they beat themselves up for their failures...... a place that is too hard for many to go--if they do it with genuine effort. I love the human spirit too! I went into chemistry, physics and biology!! Go figure!! LOL I consider the touchy feely stuff a serious hobby--a passion of sorts. It isn't just my character here in the game that loves philosohpy--it's me as well. Actaully, as I've said before, my character, is truly me. Has your husband met all of you yet?? Including Steffi? Moon--I saw your post. I wish you wou;dn't have done that in one respect only. I will have to respond to it--because it's my nature to. So much to say ont that topic, and so much intesnsity and passion about it. I don';t know--I may need to look for a way to resist because it will trun out to be this huge outcropping of what's inside. I usually keep te strongest part deel inside--those kinds of things get the juices going even more than usual!!!!!! |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:51 am  No, I see them both also Vyk. I just don't post in either of them. |
Roger_Ramjet | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:59 am  Vykin--I see your point about two different request threads. I don't know....I see that one is of requests already responed to. The others may be ones she's thinking about or just plain old doesn't like?? I don't know for sure what's up. Hey, you could request an explanation?? |
Moondance | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 12:59 am  Vykin ... I left something for you in Church because it sounds as if you are having a hard time tonite! Thank Arreal & Roger... I am glad you are still up! |
Arreal | Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 01:00 am  Oh yes, Dennis was brutally introduced to Steffi numerous times. She is very verbally assultive...but more apt to hurt 'the body' then anyone else. A few times Dennis has tried to restrain her from hurting me...or from breaking something, he has gotten his feet stomped on, or she wrestles to free her self. She had the habit, okay I did, of scratching my face till it bled. That was a problem for a while. He tried to stop it and he got the anger himself. He was never hurt. She also screamed that she wanted a divorce many times. It was always the norm for Lucy to come out after Steff and the feelings of being bad happened all over again. This was then followed by a massive headache, confusion and blessed sleep. |
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