Archive through October 19, 2000

The ClubHouse: The Game - Play Room: The Virtual House: Living Room: Archive Oct. 18 - 19: Archive through October 19, 2000

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:14 am Click here to edit this post
Vyk--thanks for your comments--we cn talk more on it when you are feeling better--take care friend. See you tomorrow! Vyk, I left you something in the church.

Nervous about dating?? No, not at all. If someone seems to matach up to what is important, no problem dating at all. Not muchmakes me nervous--probably not knowng something does it the easiest! LOL

Is there anyone you wish you could talk to more in here??

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:17 am Click here to edit this post
I could never understand why they didn't let the hgs have a few disposible cameras around...

I would like to have some experience in a dark room...definitely.

I surround myself with a lot of books and symbolic things that mean something to me. I have crappy furniture and not a huge wardrobe. That stuff isn't important to me.

When it comes down to it, I'd rather spend money on books or technology...productive things...rather than aesthetic things.

I made a cross-country move a few months ago and it was so liberating to get rid of so much accumulated stuff. Ideally, I would like to keep my possessions at a minimum. That's why I asked about your motivation. I wondered where it came from.

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:19 am Click here to edit this post
Suffering worth the experience?? For me, yes! Like I've said in here before, the greatest rewards take the greatest risks--especially in terms of people.

The thing with my son was pretty easy for some reason. Just took me by surprise. Of course something is wrong to have to acll the ambulance, although they thought it was an eallergic reaction or something--spots on him and not responding.

I'm sitting there, the doctor walks in with the hospital priest, and says my some has a 50% chance of passing right away, and of the 50% for life, 50% of that he'd be a veg. I have 1 minute...

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:20 am Click here to edit this post
Re: Nominations: The results didn't come as a big surprise to me (in regard to me being nominated and the amount of times). I was initially surprised to see you nominated, but it does make sense as people see you as being competition. At this point, I really don't care about it all. I'm neutral.

How are you feeling about nominations? Were you surprised?

Who do I wish I could talk to more? Maybe Luke? I liked him right from the beginning and I wish I could have gotten to kow him better. Also, I'd like to know more about Himay.

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:21 am Click here to edit this post
It sounds like you have a god handle of where you want to take yourself--just not sure if you shuold go there????? Am I correct on that one??

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:25 am Click here to edit this post
OH MY GOD!!!

I can't even imagine what that would have been like!!! What did you do?

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:26 am Click here to edit this post
I'm feeling good about nominations. I am comfortable with competitive people. Many voted bcause they wanted to win and went for who they thought was competition. I respect that..it is a game! lol

I agree about geting to know May more. I like her from the interactions so far! Luke is great--an oppsoite of me--very art/right brained is seems. I'm left brained--numbers and chemical formuals take up my brain most of the time! LOL

I think it's neat that you keep the things important to you cloes by. Shows you are in touch with youreslf! Well, it seems so anyway..Do you think you are??

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:28 am Click here to edit this post
I have a lot of ideas and a lot of knowledge and enough common sense to set a goal and achieve it. My greatest downfall is that I procrastinate...

Now back to you:

SO let's say you met a chick and you guys started dating, would you work less to accomodate the relationship?

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:31 am Click here to edit this post
made a choice in less than 1 minute. First, I know he would hate being a veg, so I had to take that into consideration. Next, if I say puill the plug, that takes away the option of life. had to consider that. had to consider that whatever choice I made, I had to live with it for the rest of my life. I also considered how Aaron is in life--determined, stong, bull headed, confident, hated not winning--hated it with a passion(no idea where he got these traits from---hehe)

So, taking all of that into consideration, 10 seconds later I told the doctor to do everything he could. Ended up being a no-brainer to me!

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:34 am Click here to edit this post
Yes to the time question. A way to switch my energy to a situation I'd be enjoying.

Procrastinate or are you unsure of yourself--don't want to try so that you can't fail--having to admit you were "wrong"??????? hummm

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:34 am Click here to edit this post
Good and timely question!!!

Because I don't spend a ton of time with people, I always thought I knew myself pretty well because I spent so much time examining myself.

But I recently moved to Montreal--a prodominently French city and I don't speak French--and I realized that I am have been alone a lot before, but I had many, many distractions that kept me from getting to the core of who I am.

Here, I don't have those distractions (like, for example, I used to spend a ton of time at the library. Here, 80% of the books in Montreal libraries are in French.) so I am being forced to face myself and it's proven to be difficult because I don't always like what I see coming out of me.

And what about you? With all of our experiences, have you come to a place of deeper acceptance and understanding?

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:40 am Click here to edit this post
OH MY GOD!!!

I can't believe you were faced with having to make that decision!!! OH MAN!!!

It had to have changed your relationship with your son. What happened after he got out of the hospital?

Re: Procrastination: No, I don't think it's a fear of failing. I wish it was then I could figure out a way to deal with it. Everything that I have tried, I have had a degree of success at so I do have confidence. I just have this bad habit of putting things off and waiting until the last minute when i am forced to make a critical decision. It's the stress of being forced to make a decision that fuels me to take risks. No stress=no action for me. I have to change that.

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:41 am Click here to edit this post
I came to the total acceptance thing during the time frmae of ages 13-15. The experiences came after!! I had a realization young in life of the importance of going through this pianful process. Actually I have comtinued all my life, although got through the acceptance and understanding by 15--Arreal and I have talked of this--she had a few questions about herself doing this, as she seems to be going through it--as are you!!

The question I get asked is it worth all the pain--and there is defintely pain!! (well for me there was) 100 times over the answer is yes. It's the key to everything you can think of. It doesn't prevent one from making mistakes, although ...well, it's what allows you to deal with anything, become anything, face anything or anyone...becuase you've already faced the toughest thing you will ever face----yourself.

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:44 am Click here to edit this post
Excellent point. I would also add that if you don't take those risks and don't accept that pain is part of the process, then you're really not living.

I have to go to bed soon. It's almost 5AM here.

Before I go, tell me how you're feeling about going to "the other side" tomorrow.

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:47 am Click here to edit this post
Everyhting changed with him. He went in a very responsible person. Brains out of his ears, cared about people, loved sports, loved to excel, loved to work hard at whatever he did.

After healing, he turned to drugs and quit being an active participant in life. Everything was about him and just having fun. He experinced believing that nothiung really mattered--that life was to enjoy and responsibility did nothing for you.

As you can imagine, that is not my approach to things. We agreed to disagree (with very intense talks until he turned 18--a year) He tok off for Oregon and I didn't hear from him for about a year and a half.

So, you like to make choices under pressure?? Hey, if it works for you.....

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:50 am Click here to edit this post
Other side----no real feelings. I see it as a task--- look for wahtever anyone says they want to know about--if htey don't, I'll pick things. Read fast, remember a lot, and bring it back for you guys! A simple step ativity...does that bother you I look at it as such??

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:53 am Click here to edit this post
Hopefully your son will come full-circle and find balance. That takes time but, at least he's know able to be better empathic now that he was experienced "both sides of life and death". I say, continue to have patience with him. Thank God, he has you, an open and understand parent to come back to when his life does take another change.

I am off to bed. It has been fun! Everyone enjoys talking to you Roger! And I am glad I got to have my turn. :)

Final thoughts before I go?

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:54 am Click here to edit this post
Hey! I was the one who initially campaigned for you to go! I have total faith in the way you would approach the task. :)

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 01:58 am Click here to edit this post
My son has come through that circle for the most part..he sees where h wants to go, and tries to do as much as he can. He ask for help only when he really needs it. He talks to me when he needs to, other than that, he wants to try it himself.

He knows I am there and don't turn him away. He has said that all the things I told him, he knows as being true and right.

He will do good because he wants to do it himself. He reminds me of someone I know..he is me.(except I never went the other route fisrt)

Good night Xenia--nad feel free to provide any final thoughts you have before going!!

I have enjoyed to night and hope we can do it again.

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 02:00 am Click here to edit this post
Have a good night. :)

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 02:01 am Click here to edit this post
sleep well.........zzzzz

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 02:12 am Click here to edit this post
<Sitting here in LR by myself now---talking to self>

It was really great talking to Xenia...much great conversation. Vyk---I hope he is ok--I hope the best for his test results. It looks like I will turn in realy tonight--only 2:00ish

No one around--a nomination night. game is going great--will turn to 6, and people will get even tighter with each other..last nominations will be tough for some..easier for others. The game is great---it gets into your blood. I look forward to the rest of the game.........no matter what happens.

<leave LR to get into bed---it's been a day>

Xenia

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 10:09 am Click here to edit this post
Hello???

Roger_Ramjet

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 10:11 am Click here to edit this post
Xenia--passing through here at work--what's going on with you here at the house?

Moondance

Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 10:46 am Click here to edit this post
Good Morning Roger & Xenia ... at work but wanted to stop in to say hi!... read a little bit of the convo you had last night... I would love to ask you some questions Xenia and talk some photography later... Roger ... things better today at work? I hope! I will be home later and caych up!