Archive through November 01, 2000

The ClubHouse: The Game - Discussion Room: General : Vykin Exposed: Archive through November 01, 2000

Optics

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 05:58 pm Click here to edit this post
Optics takes the witness stand, and prepares to continue:

Judge Gator: Tell me what happened the night that Arreal revealed Talisker's true purpose in the game.

Optics: On the night in question, I was busy in other parts of the house. Frankly at this point I found the Livingroom area boring, I needed excitement and some humor. I got an IM from Arreal telling me to come to the LivingRoom, I politely responded, that I was currently busy, Arreal was persistent. Oh yes, Judge Gator, I also recall Tali IMd me, she asked if I'd been to the LivingRoom, I said no it was boring (Excuse me Judge, I have erred, I meant the HOT TUB not the LR. Tali responded, she went in there and Arreal is there with Roger if I recall. (Judge sorry, I am to tired to go check if it was Livingroom or Hottub, I trust you will clarify that) Tali had said she had a sinking feeling Arreal was up to something. I responded, I'll go and see. (Frankly Judge, I didn't want to go cuz I was enjoying posting somewhere else) but I did.
I walked in at the point where Arreal was in the middle of referring to some secret. I didn't and couldn't be bothered to check, cuz I was popping in and out as a courtesy check in for Tali. I posted briefly. Later I went to check back. Arreal is saying, "tell him vykin tell him"
I said something like, tell who what?.
Judge, she wasn't making any sense, and by now I'm losing posting time, its late it in the evening. I check back: "the secret , the secret"
Now I am literally pissed off. I post I don't know what ur talking about. Arreal says something weird like, someones head under water.
Then I misunderstood, I thought this was just another "roleplaying makebelieve" discussion, so I said okay, and posted something about seeing Tali go to the church. This, Judge did not satisfy Arreal. She kept taunting me. Then she IMd me, she said" Vykin I want you to help me set Tali Up, I want to see her banished". I got angry, I said, "I've told you countless times my position - I promised to keep a confidence - and I keep my promises", Arreal continued her IM harassment. Voila! it was around the time I found out how to Block people from IMing me.
Little was I to know that Arreal would stay up late into the wee hours of the morning exposing Tali and further more raising further suspicions about myself, and building a mountain of false paranoia about me. I was shocked to come into the house the next morning and see what the conversation was. I was further shocked, that almost 20 questions had been asked about me.
But mostly, I was deeply hurt, that no one asked me. This Judge was also around the time, I felt pressure, was trying to think of a way to give my housemates a chance to ask me questions so I could tell them I am in fact a woman. When I saw the questions to Host, any thoughts of trust and true equal acceptance among the Housemates whom I had now grown fond of, Went OUT THE DOOR!

Judge, I submit to you further evidence, this is an Instant Message conversation that Arreal held with me the night we were allowed out of the house. I got smart and logged it. I believe it is relevant to my case because Arreal said, why she felt she wanted to expose Tali, you will see it is obvious she spoke almost as two different people. Yet I was accused of being two separate people.
Judge Gator leans forward and accepts yet another document for the record:

Subj: arreal
Date: 10/31/00 12:48:44 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Erdyn
To: Erdyn, GCARRICK

Alyssum4u: ewwww....roflmao
Erdyn: you toyed with me too though
Alyssum4u: not that much.
Alyssum4u: but I did miss our private chats....just bsing in IM's
Erdyn: it became a silent world posting, not seeing my friends, watching every damn email i opened. I missed talking to someone
Alyssum4u: I know...me too....that's why it was sooooo hard to not talk to you. I thought I had a friend. It was hard.
Erdyn: i thought so too but u kinda messed it up there, i really didn't know what secret u were referring to. honestly
Erdyn: i had something else on my mind that night
so i hadn't read the posts btwn u and roger before i came in hottub
Alyssum4u: well that sucks....we kinda blew it...okay I did there...but damn that was driving me nuts.
Alyssum4u: I was trying to be silly and thot about holding Tali's head under water.....just to be silly......then everyone started to question me about it....I had no real answer.
Alyssum4u: I think I paniced and that was the first thing to pop into my head.
Alyssum4u: I was joking at first....I honestly felt like suddenly I was being pushed to say something....It was crazy.
Erdyn: yes, you can understand why I was confused by your reference to "secret"? I cudn't figure it out. Like you switched somehow.
Alyssum4u: first I was joking then I got frustrated....yeah...I can understand now.
Erdyn: yeah thats what i mean you were joking when I came in,.
You can understand what?
Alyssum4u: how you got confused about it all....
Alyssum4u: and how I got confused...it was very unexpected by both of us.
Erdyn: yes, it was odd. Did u have something happen in "real life" that night. You know how somethings, we have stress or something and it transgresses without us realizing?
Alyssum4u: I have no clue how it went from me being silly to causes pain.
Alyssum4u: I don't know....everyone kept saying it was friday the 13th and a full moon...who knows. I fukkered up
Erdyn: Do u think it was one of the "fugues"?
Alyssum4u: No it wasn't I know that.
Erdyn: lol on fukkered up!!!!
Alyssum4u: well, what would you call it?
Erdyn: Does full moon bug u. I know people who it bugs in different ways.
Erdyn: HELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D CALL IT!
Alyssum4u: I've never paid attention to it until I worked in the nursing home....old people all get nutty.
Erdyn: I have trouble calling myself sometimes I have so many different screen names. LOL
Alyssum4u: how many?.....7?
Erdyn: sorry one screenname, i meant user names
you know from optics to vykin back to optics, then my aol screen erdyn
lol,
Alyssum4u: okay, so who are you really?
Erdyn: anyways I better hit the sack.
Nice chatting arreal
heck i don't know who we are: people i suppose.
Nite Arreal have a good one!
Alyssum4u: no one on AOL has just ONE screen name.
Alyssum4u: nite.
Erdyn: i do i always just use one, son has one too and thats it
nite.
Alyssum4u: nite....
Erdyn: nite

Judge Gator, accepts yet another piece of explanatory evidence.
Judge waves his hand, not the injured one, for Optics to continue.

Dilligaf

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 06:07 pm Click here to edit this post
Did anybody see the movie "The Crying Game"?

Kearie

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 06:10 pm Click here to edit this post
I do think the date on that said it was just LAST NIGHT

Kearie

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 06:13 pm Click here to edit this post
Who did you forward that to?

Ocean_Islands

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 06:14 pm Click here to edit this post
I knew the minute I saw your website that you were not to be trusted.

Lafatme

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 06:25 pm Click here to edit this post
trust? equal acceptance? where's the equal part? you enter the game under false pretense, then pretend to be someone you're not to the other bgs, and you talk about trust?

you told us all the reasons why you can't "trust" people on the internet but you're "deeply hurt" that others might want to wait until you "earn it"
i must be comforting to be able to "honestly" live by such a double standard and believe you had NO part in what happened.

it would earn you more respect than this endless sham trial.

you did nothing to earn trust from us.

even now, your "evidence" is edited. no one STARTS a conversation with ROFLMAO. you left out the beginning again. in other words, optics, this sounds like more "spin" from the PREZ, rather than an honest portrayal of your part in this.

can you tell the truth, the WHOLE truth, and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH? can you?

better yet, are you woman enough to say "i deceived you and was not honest, and i am truly sorry" as kearie did?

is "i'm sorry" in your vocabulary? now would be an opportune to try using it to the members of this site.

Optics

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 06:56 pm Click here to edit this post
Judge Gator: asks: What happened next?

I felt hurt that Arreal chose the way she had to expose Tali, I believed it was Tali's or Hosts decision to make. I also felt that Arreal should have spoken to Tali in IM and offered Tali the chance to tell everyone, and if at that point Tali refused, then Arreal had every right to tell. But not the way Arreal handled it. She blindsided Talisker, she blindsided me. In the Middle of the night, when the rest of us were sleeping. I personally felt it was a devious, malicious act toward Tali (and I didn't even know this woman). I was outraged, I was further outraged that like a spoiled child, Arreal chose to drag my name through the mud deliberately because I refused to play her mind games.
My other housemates became increasingly suspicious of me. I felt I was drowning, I was the only one who stood up for Talisker whom I had only known a week. NO ONE ELSE. They chose to listen to Arreal and Arreal only.

It was clear to me by now - these people I was involved with would NEVER accept me telling them my own dilema of being a woman. For my protection, I chose not to. Host posted responses to Rogers Questions, Host also encouraged board players not to use email or IMs, ICQs whatever for any form of game discussions.
When that was posted I immediately Blocked Talisker and Arreal, but not before I received 2 or 3 threatening, IMs from Arreal (I've referred to them previously). Judge this happened just as Host was asking us not to do it, Host said he couldn't stop it, but we shouldn't. I complied.
Right in that time period. I was informed by a online friend that her husband had received a harassing IM from someone named SARA, who said, there is a Mole amongs our group (meaning my friends), and Vykin was gonna pay big time.

Judge Gator: "How did you feel".
Optics: I considered leaving, this game was becoming too bizarre, some of the occurances were too bizarre. I did not need this stress in my life.

Judge Gator: "Are you almost done?"
Optics: Almost,
Judge Gator: What happened next?
Optics: A series of events which kept escalating, weird banners, chatroom discussions when scheduled, the list is endless. The sick feeling in my stomach only increased. Then, without notice, Arreal withdrew from the game.
The last straw was a banner referring to cheating.

I won a Challenge, I was excited, we had a scheduled chat that night. Host announced my reward - was 5 extra minutes with the public.
I was thrilled, I hoped some of my friends were there, but I did not know, because I didn't know their user names. I got 5 minutes of accusation from what I refer to as "haters". I came back shocked, I felt someone has played the dirtiest trick on me. This was a reward? If this was a reward, what was the poison.
I felt my housemates should have the information, I requested Host post a transcript if there was one, so my housemates would know I wasn't hiding questions from them.
That blew back in my face too. The houseguests found only more of Arreal's friends tidbits to distort. I felt defeated.

Judge Gator, You were almost finished the Game, what happened next?
Optics: Next round of banishment. Friday night. I knew I was a goner. But I wasn't a quitter. I put every ounce of strength into focusing on keeping the game interesting, I dared to reveal intimate parts of my life, to show that I am an honest person with dignity and integrity.

Judge Gator: And?
I made some headway, with Arreal gone, the house was peaceful, I got to know Lukester and Roger better, I felt they liked me. Moondance opened up somewhat. HiMay10ns wasn't around much. She seemd to cross paths with me. I would come in the morning she had just left, in the evening when she was free, I had reality commitments.
It was a difficult nomination for us all. I have no doubt! We were happy when all of us were up.
Then came friday. I made my preparations to leave. I posted how I felt. Coincidently, so did Moondance. I found her posts a little odd, because I personally felt she would win first place, it seemed like she had many friends outside by her "hi's" to them at internet cam, etc. I am astute, I also have a very good recollective memory. Things weren't adding up.
Then came Banishment, it was changed to Saturday morning. Moon seemed to only focus on how "sick she was feeling", I did too but I just decided its my last night I'm gonna post funny things.

Next Morning, at 7:30am, we were prepared. Host announced there is to be a ReVote. Host explained the reasons 500 voters and the number breakdown. My red flags went up. I had kept track of the voting through out the game. I checked the previous numbers. It didn't add up.
It appeared that for whatever reason, there had been some occurance that had to do between her results and my results. Based on previous data, I did some more calcs. Then I was LIVID!
I recalled a week or two before, a new friend registering, because they wanted to support me. Being new to the site, I got an email or IM i forget which. My friend said they had been in a chat where someone was telling people how to loop around the polls and vote illegally. My friend asked, if we are allowed one vote, or can vote as often as possible. I had asked Arreal about this, its all on the record, I believe at the Internet Cam folder. I perculated previous info, with Arreals departure. I came into the either the latest Challenge room or LR, I came just as Moondance had announced that she had received an email or something that she would be banished. At first I was pissed off. But then I thought, I understand how Moondance feels, cuz I had too had the email about the NYTimes article. I attempted to offer Moondance my "comfort" for lack of better word. She retorted back at me. I was stunned, I tried to explain, I was trying to console her. It didn't fizz on her. Further the other houseguests, seemed to rally around her. Once again I was alone in the house. For the next 3 hours prior to Saturday night nominations, I felt it best for me to go and ease my own expected departure, rather then get into a continous argument.
When the Chatroom occurred Moondance was out. I knew something was not right.

Judge, let me stop and back up. When Moon began acting "cold" to me she accused me of having outside contact and inferred that I had been cheating or lying and she had played the game fairly. Regardless I got the message loud and clear.
Judge Gator: When I came outside on Monday, I was horrified to find someone named Jana had posted something to the effect that she had given Moondance her password to go check the outside posts. By now, Judge I figured "eff all of them" "they are all effen nuts!".

Judge Gator asks Optics not to swear.

I also found Judge, that one of my supporters had kept detailed poll tracking and apparently this is posted somewhere on these boards. I was told that: I had been in 4th position when the last 15 minutes of the polls, my numbers started jumping like crazy, I was moving up. IN a folder for Moondance posts were made to save moondance. I ask was this not a conspiracy against me? Or is it still that "Vykin is cheating and we are pristine"?

Judge Gator: Hmm interesting, are you almost done?

Optics: Yes just a few more comments on what has occurred on the outside with regard to my gender in terms of the Host.

Spamgirl

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:04 pm Click here to edit this post
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/tvch/petition.html

Optics

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:28 pm Click here to edit this post
Judge Gator: Optics, you won first place tell me quickly how you felt!

Optics: I felt thrilled to death. When I heard part way thru the game a CDBurner would be a prize, I told my young son. He thinks cdburners are the end all and be all. Personally, as a parent, All it is is a hunk of metal.

I came outside and was thrown off my feet! There is deep seated anger on the outside toward me. I began reading posts and stopped, it made me sick, that I was attacked and continue as I sit here to be attacked. I feel that people I don't know have literally "RAPED" ME. I feel ashamed Judge, that what began as a simple online Game, to pass time till BB2, has turned into such a vile, despicable fiasco. I have never heard from so many people in my life, in here that take the drug Xanax. Look it up. That is the only way I can absorb the pure hatred toward me here at this website, which once, so long ago, I thought was the best on the internet.
I am further and most DEEPLY ASHAMED AND HUMILIATED of myself, that I have put my real family through a month of hell and mostly my supporters, those friends of mine, who I know truly and deeply care for me, beyond the world of virtual living. I feel Ashamed because, I let my guard down - in seven years, I took a risk, and released parts of my life for the first time ever. And I can never remove that from the net. I have realized this was harmful, and my initial endeavors to maintain my privacy, will now be reinstated in my brain. I WILL NEVER AGAIN SUBMIT MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY AND MYSELF TO anything like this. I am leaving, I will not return.

Judge Gator: Optics, you have now revealed you lied about your gender. Explain, the public deserves to hear a response. You also have to admit to what you told the Host.

Judge Gator:
I have never lied! Go check my posts. People assumed I was a man. There was nothing to indicate that I was male. That is the assumption people choose to take.
There have been over 20,000 posts regarding this game!
NEVER, NOT ONCE DID ANYONE IN HERE THINK TO ASK ME IF I AM A MALE OR FEMALE! NEVER HAVE I REFERRED TO BEING A MALE.

Judge Gator: What is HOSTS role in this?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. THE HOST NEVER KNEW I WAS A WOMAN. NEVER UNTIL LAST NIGHT I EMAILED WITH MY ADDRESS INFORMATION.
HOST RESPONDED, HE WAS ANGRY:
HE SAID, "I AM A CANCER TO THE ONLINE COMMUNITY", I WAS TOLD I WAS DECEPTIVE AND DISHONEST"

Judge Gator: How did you feel about that?
Optics: I felt even more further humiliated and ashamed that I had allowed myself to get to this point. I DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL LAST NITE! Part of me felt angry at the HOST, another part of me felt, "who is calling the kettle black". But, the rational part of me knew that this is the Hosts Website, not mine. I believe the Host is only trying to save the site. So I understood the response.
Shortly after I was directed to a folder by someone named Advent39. There are inferences toward someone among my friends betraying me.
I can say only for myself - the only thing - I never disclosed was my gender. Everything else I've said has been honest and truthful.

Judge Gator: What about the CDBurner?
Optics: As I conclude this, I am informing the Host to award it instead to a more WORTHY CHEATER, THAN MYSELF. I GIVE UP!

Judge Gator: What will you do now?
Optics: I will return to a virtual world where I know I have friends, I have learned a lesson in this. I will leave this site, as my friends had decided to do. I will walk out of here with my head held high, that I played honestly, openly, fairly - I deserved to win - but for the win, I paid a very heavy price.

I will think of this site, in the future, in the days I visited it during BBFC. But its best for my health and sanity, that I leave here and not return.

Spamgirl

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:38 pm Click here to edit this post
"I feel Ashamed because, I let my guard down - in seven years, I took a risk, and released parts of my life for the first time ever."

Released parts of your life?!? We didn't even know you were a woman...

"a more WORTHY CHEATER, THAN MYSELF"

Yeah, so now he's saying may or roger cheated... pass the buck...

Good riddance... you lied (not telling the truth IS lying)... you cheated... you withheld information from us until now... and the worst part is, you feel SORRY FOR YOURSELF in all this... poor you... everythign you say is "oh, i never lied" "i didn't do anythign wrong" "my poor son is getting the butt end of this"

Well •••• YOU... your son is getting whatever YOU give him... if you had told the truth in the beginning, none of this would have happened... if you had a single honest bone in your body, this wouldn't have happened...

I feel very sorry for your son, because he certainly doesn't have a positive female role model in his life, and will end up dating lying scum like you for the rest of his life

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/tvch/petition.html

Adven39

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:38 pm Click here to edit this post
Excellent choice, Erdyn. And that's Adven39, not Advent.

Sandyc

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:46 pm Click here to edit this post
Well.. this has gone on long enough. I don't care that Vykin was a female. She played a darn good game. I am getting tired of her justifying and justifying her actions though. So why don't all of you give it up. Anything goes in the game, remember. Just like anything goes in the discussion threads too, when someone emailed about stinky fingers, etc.

Now we're wanted to sign a petition. Not this puppy.

Optics, welcome back and I hope you enjoy your name change. Good game, but please, shut up.

Norequerdo

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:47 pm Click here to edit this post
o.k. I said I wouldnt post. but this is my last word. Spam you should be ashamed of yourself. How dare you!!! I have a child and your bringing Vy's child into this is disgusting. I have never in all my years meeting people on the internet met such a sick bunch of people. you all deserve each other!!!!! I am glad Vy is out of it. as far as I am concerned good riddance.

Affinity

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:49 pm Click here to edit this post
give it up, he/she's forfeiting the prize (so we think)
quit the bashing
it's practically mental abuse

Spamgirl

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:55 pm Click here to edit this post
I have a kid too, and I sure as hell wouldn't behave as she did infront of my child... she didn't tell the truth - is that any way to act infront of a kid? NO!

I thought parents were supposed to teach their kids morals... vykin obviously doesn't believe that.

I didn't drag her kid into this, she did by trying to make us all feel guilty.

Wink

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 07:59 pm Click here to edit this post
Spammy: Whatever your feelings about Vykin her child is strictly off limits. Whether mentioned by his mother or not I'm sure he didn't ask to be a part of this.

Jana

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:01 pm Click here to edit this post
mmmm, ok once again, "slow-reader" Jana isn't caught up on the posts...but so far....

can we separate the issues here Vyketta? What does the whole Tali/Arreal thing have to do with you portraying yourself as a man?

can you separate the two and not try to use the battle you think you WON to cover up the battle you know you LOST?

Spamgirl

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:02 pm Click here to edit this post
I'm sorry, but this is supposed to be a court, right? Bringing up something makes it fair game...

If she cared about her kid so much, she wouldn't try to guilt us with him... she used the kid first... i'm just telling the truth... painful, but it's the truth...

Would YOU behave like that in front of your kids? I'm just appolled by her behaviour in front of her son... it's one thing to do it on your own time, but to drag your kid into it is disgusting

Wink

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:05 pm Click here to edit this post
Uh no Spammy this isn't a court. It is or was a game. Please leave the child out of it.

Spamgirl

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:06 pm Click here to edit this post
SHE should have left the child out of it. If she doesn't want the child discussed, the truth to be stated, she shouldn't have pulled her pity party with him.

Guruchaz

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:16 pm Click here to edit this post
You go Spamgirl!

This is all beginning to make sense now. No wonder Vykin was like Kathy Lee Gifford going on and on about her son. It's probably her!

Karuuna

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:20 pm Click here to edit this post
You know, I just don't get all the fuss. Maybe I"m just dense that way.

let's see, Xenia role plays and that's okay for some folks but not for others. But it's not the role playing that's a problem so much as it is the role she played. Vyk allows a misconception to go uncorrected, and gets crucified? Things that make you go hmmm....

Face it, the rules were vague!! Assumptions just don't count. There were early postings in the game discussion area guessing about whether folks were role playing or being real, no one knew. If we didn't get it, and they didn't have the benefit of our discussions to help them figure it out, how were they supposed to know what we decided what was right AFTER the game started? Hmmm...

I know that people got hurt. That people trusted and believed certain things that weren't true. I want those folks to know that matters to me very much. I hate that people got hurt, I *really* hate that. They are good people, and no one ever deserves to be hurt. But I honestly don't see the intentionality to inflict pain here, I just see some natural human shortsightedness. And if we're to be villified for shortsightedness, well, then we'd all be nailed to the cross.

Vyk's given up the prize, tho personally I still think she earned it. She won. She got the most votes in a fair vote. I admire her for declining it.

As for her passing blame, well, she's not the only one who's done that here. I know it's not helping her case, but I also know that none of us are so perfectly wonderful at telling everyone how we screwed up. I certainly suck at it.

People have given me lots of benefit of the doubt in my messed-up, screwed-up, sordid life. Every day I bless them, because their kindness made me more kind. I'm willing to give that gift to someone else. And that's what I'm doing now.

Wcv63

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:33 pm Click here to edit this post
<People have given me lots of benefit of the doubt in my messed-up, screwed-up, sordid life. Every day I bless them, because their kindness made me more kind. I'm willing to give that gift to someone else. And that's what I'm doing now.>

Karuuna I respect and admire you tremendously for that statement and will act according to your example. Thank you for injecting a little bit of empathy and compassion.

Karuuna

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:38 pm Click here to edit this post
Thanks, wcv, the respect is mutual by the way.

Wink

Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 08:40 pm Click here to edit this post
Karuuna you are our "Cass with Class".