Archive through October 04, 2002
TV ClubHouse: Archives: Ghandia Johnson:
Archive through October 04, 2002
Sbw | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 09:36 am     Grooch, there is some speculation that she was doing a lot of talking before the show even started. I don't know if it is true or not. OOops, I see Fluff answered your question. |
Squaredsc | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 09:38 am     i really have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. but i do believe ted's story. if the issue wasn't resolved when ted/ghan talked then she should have gone back to him or said something to the producers or whoever was in charge. i think she was playing to the cameras during that temper tantrum. and i am also disappointed that mb decided to use this issue at all and notice they didn't show all that happened during the sleeping incident, just like on survivor africa when they didn't show the whole story about clarence and the beans. 'nuff said, and i will hopefully not need to add anything else about this. |
Snoopyenta | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 09:39 am     It appears to me that Ghandia was asking for it! Not that anyone deserves to be abused, but she was playing this "Come here, come here...go away go away" game. She was cuddling up to him, putting her head on his shoulder and definitely giving him signals that could easily have been misinterpreted. Even after he explained and apologized (very sincerely, I thought) SHE hugged and kissed him and accepted his apology! I think she is trying to deflect attention from the fact that she is a weak player, an instigator, a drama Queen and she was attempting to set the stage for the next time they lose immunity-giving the others a reason to think of someone other than her for banishment. I think that her teammates (with the exception of Brian) also handled things poorly. They should have let her know that they intended to hear the other side of the story or told her that this was between the two of them. How could you just blindly take the word of a virtual stranger (especially in a game such as this)? If I were Ghandia-I would have accepted his apology and told him in no uncertain terms that if it ever happened again-his new name would be Bobbitt...and then I would have kept my mouth shut. Strategically, I would have thought of the long term implications of having to continue to work with him (and the others) as a TEAM. If I were on that team, I would have questionned Ghandia's motives for telling everyone (especially after finding out she left out a critical point like the apology) and my next goal would be getting rid of her. |
Grooch | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 09:49 am     I think it's all been pretty much said above, so no need to repeat it again with my opinion. But I have a few things to add. 1. In the National Enquirer article that someone posted about the incident (was it in this thread?) it was said that the incident wasn't filmed. I can believe it. I can't imagine that they have a cameraman filming them the entire 8 hours that they are sleeping. 2. When Ghandia and Ted had the talk, they both knew they were being filmed and were probably trying to be very careful how they worded things because they must have known their SOs would end up seeing this. If the camera wasn't on them, their talk may have gone more in depth of what happened and how they felt about it. If I was Ted, I would want it over as quickly as possible, because he knows his wife is going to hear about what he was doing to Ghandia. So maybe after Ghandia reflected on their talk, she was getting stressed out about how it would look to her husband and started getting worked up again over it. And if it is true what I said about Ted wanting to end the conversation quickly, because of the cameras, maybe that is why she felt it wasn't an honest apology. 3. An odd thing I noticed about their first talk, they both agreed it wouldn't happen again, but neither one offered up, that a simple solution to make sure it doesn't happen again, was to make sure they don't sleep right next to each at night anymore. It sounded like they were going to keep the same sleeping arrangements. If I was Ghandia, and what she said was true, I would tell Ted that I would feel more comfortable if he slept next to someone else. And if Ted was telling the truth that it was an honest mistake of him being half asleep and thinking it was his wife, then he should have enough common sense that it might happen again when he is asleep, and the best thing to do is sleep next to someone else. It would also show Ghandia that he was sincerely sorry and felt bad for what happened. As everyone said above, they both share the blame, and Ted handled the post situation better. |
Grooch | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 09:55 am     Snoopy, can you explain what you mean by, "It appears to me that Ghandia was asking for it!" What was she asking for? To be fondled by Ted in the middle of the night, or to be called on her actions the next day with the group meeting? |
Grooch | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:09 am     Fluff and SWB thanks for the info. I had read those posts and I do not believe that was her, who made those posts. Not one little bit. And I believed this even before I saw Spygirl's post in another thread about how the first guy who got voted off, his wife and kids were scared to say anything at all because they were afraid of getting sued for $5 million. She may have some issues, but I don't think she is that dumb to be posting like that. Square, MB probably didn't have much of a choice in not showing it. It is sad that it happened, but it affects the whole entire tribe and will probably be affecting how everyone acts to either of them for the rest of the game. And if he didn't show it at all, we would probably be scratching our heads wondering why if all of a sudden the rest of the team starts to ostracize one of them or decides to vote one of them off for no reason. I feel bad for their families. |
Fluff | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:11 am     If I'm not mistaken, I think Ted did say that he wasn't going to sleep with Ghandia anymore. I think? |
Snoopyenta | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:11 am     Grooch, I meant that she was giving him "signals" with all her touchy feely actions. I am female and live with my boyfriend. I have many male friends and I am a very affectionate person; however, none of my male friends would EVER misinterpret my actions as being anything other than friendship. I would never spoon with anyone other than my honey and if I were Ghandis-I would have gotten up immediately and moved as soon as the "poking" became apparent. She STAYED there and then blamed him saying she felt "used". In my opinion, no one can be used in that way, unless they encourage/allow it. As friendly and affectionate as I am, friends and strangers get the message pretty quick as to what lines they cannot cross with me... |
Max | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:27 am     All I can say is that I was yelling at my TV last night. When Ghandia first started talking to the camera about "the incident", I was yelling "If you didn't want him to grind you, why didn't you get up or poke him in the ribs and tell him to knock it off, or simply move away from him?!" When she did talk to Ted and he apologized and then she started crying about having been raped before and people telling her it was her fault, I was yelling, "If this kind of thing happened to you before, you should KNOW better than to just lie there and take it!" (I'm not implying that her rape was in any way her fault, just saying that she should have learned to stand up for herself a bit more and not just lie there and be a victim -- maybe that's what people were trying to tell her and what she heard was that it was her fault. I don't know.) When she started talking to the other women about "the incident" even though she had accepted Ted's apology, I was yelling, "Why are you talking to them if you're still bothered -- talk to TED!" When Helen then started spreading the "news" to Brian, I was yelling, "Why don't you talk to TED to get his side of the story before spreading rumors?!" Brian, at least acted like a grown-up and went to talk to Ted. When Ted said "it was nothing" I thought that was 'guy-speak' for saying that whatever happened was over and done with, not that literally \i(nothing} happened. To him, "the incident" occurred, he and Ghandia talked about it, he apologized, she accepted. Indicent over. Brian passed that along to Helen, who once again played gossip-monger and took the statement back to Ghandia. To a woman who doesn't have her 'guy-speak detector' on, the comment translated into a complete denial of "the incident" and Ghandia went ballistic. Again, I was yelling at my TV, "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE GO TALK TO TED?!" The behaviour these women exhibited is exactly the kind of behaviour that sets ALL women back. Let's see. Something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, but instead of saying anything, you just lie there being uncomfortable. Then you say something and receive and accept an apology, but you think about it some more and start embellishing the story to your girlfriends, leaving out some details (like that that guy apologized). Your 'friends' then compound the situation by spreading the story to whoever will listen but don't talk to the other involved person at all. Meanwhile, you just keep getting more and more worked up about it until it becomes this giant 'happening' in your head and infects the entire community. All this drama could have been stopped at any point along the way by acting like an adult! ARGH! When someone makes this big of a deal out of a single incident well after the fact and after accepting an apology, it makes me wonder what else is going on in her head. Maybe she had some thoughts of enjoying what was happening and then felt guilty for it (would make sense with how she kept going on about feeling so dirty afterwards) and rather than dealing with her guilt over that, she focused her anger and frustration onto Ted. Again, I'm not saying that she was "asking" for anything. Just that she might have been comfortable cuddling and was thinking about her husband just as Ted said he was thinking of his wife. Then afterwards, she felt guilty about it and that turned to anger towards Ted. If the genders were reversed here, I'd say the same thing. It's a psychological defense mechanism to use deflection like this and seems like a possibility here. Putting on my flame-retardant suit now!  |
Fluff | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:31 am     You banged it right on the nail Max. My thoughts exactly. I was just as disappointed with Helen as I was Ghandia. |
Spunky | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:44 am     Well, that explains it. Thanks Max. And this is the woman who said..."we're better than the guys, women are more logical, cry less...etc, etc..", and from day one she did all the opposite of what she believes. |
Bbfanatic | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:45 am     i think it is time for ghandias apology. maybe while she had her rump where it shouldnt have been she shifted her weight around or somehow stimulated him first. if she was asleep, maybe she didnt realize it. hmmmmm!! i think when discussing future sleeping arrangements, they should say "WE" should not have been sleeping together and "WE" are both to blame for the situation. |
Car54 | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:45 am     Max, look out or we are going to start calling you Lori. |
Grooch | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 10:54 am     Did he, Fluff? I must have missed it. I am glad I am taping this season. I will check it out. |
Wiseolowl | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:01 am     Is this "All My Children" - "Another World" or "Secret Storm" ? This is unbelievable. It seems that there are always a minority of contestants on these reality shows that want to turn them into soap operas. It turns off 90% of the males and I suspect a majority of the females. The bottom line is they lose in the end and I would have thought that they would have been smart enough to figure this out by now. This whole episode has been blown way out of proportion. Ted probably was out of line - he apologized - get over it. Unless Ghandia and Helen , you're exploiting it for game purposes - if so - bad strategy. |
Denecee | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:01 am     I agree with your post Max. |
Max | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:05 am     Car, thanks! I liked Lori. |
Car54 | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:09 am     Me too! |
Karuuna | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:12 am     Max - you are absolutely right. There is a kind of woman who always blames the guy for everything that goes wrong in her life. And then they convince their friends how awful that man (or men in general) are. Call it classic victimhood. The simple solution is to take responsibility for your own life. Know that in most situations you've played a role in landing yourself where you are now. And know that in most situations, you can pick yourself up and fix it yourself, without insisting that someone else do it for you; and without starting some kind of mob mentality. And if you're a woman who is one of the friends listening to that stuff, you can reflect back to your friend that she is a competent human being, capable of taking care of her own business. And remember that there is always another side to the story. While we women can be wonderfully caring and compassionate in sticking up for our friends, it's really not helpful to them to let them live in victimhood or delusions. I'll get off my soapbox now...  |
Squaredsc | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:12 am     great post max, no flaming from me.  |
Joyful | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:34 am     This woman will create drama when there is none. She is a whiney and negative. If she continues she will split this tribe. The women will be forced to choose her and the men forced to choose Ted. Ted did wrong but apologized. She accepted the apology! I wouldn't be surprised if this woman sues CBS and Ted for sexual misconduct. |
Bbfanatic | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:36 am     i wonder if ghandia knew about "the porn guy" while on the island. she would probably would have felt violated. |
Resortgirl | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:39 am     Yay Karuuna!  |
Brenda1966 | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 11:48 am     Max I think you said it all perfectly. I was so disgusted with the drama last night. And Helen really disappointed me by not waiting to hear Ted's side of the story. If Ghandia isn't gone soon then that team is foolish. They had a cohesive team and she threw a wrench in it. |
Fluff | Friday, October 04, 2002 - 12:04 pm     Helen made me nauseous. Not to mention the fact that she was siding with the person that voted for her last week!!!!!!!!!! If that's what she calls playing a game, then that was pretty lame. Heeeheee. |
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