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Car54

Friday, April 19, 2002 - 05:35 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Here is Jeff's article for Episode 8:

SURVIVAL INSTINCT: Episode Eight
By Jeff Varner, Special to ET Online
April 19, 2002


Talk about bustin' a nut…


I knew when that storm was brewing and those trees started snapping in the first five minutes that this promised to be a tumultuous episode. So much went on I couldn't keep track of it all. But one thing is for sure, JOHN wept during his final words. :(




I don't mean a tear-gracefully-flowing-down-the-cheek kind of crying (I had one of those when I left :-). I'm talking that kind of crying that has you mortified that even one person saw you, much less 20 MILLION PEOPLE, YOU IDIOT!!!!! And I hearby (expletive)-slap you, on behalf of all those people out there that agree with me when I say, Tahitian mini skirts should NOT be wrapped around male Nebraskan nurses. Though he looked better in it than most of the Soliantu women would have, thank the Tahitian Gods we only saw the backside!


TAMMY could have saved herself (that's me assuming she's out within two weeks) and John by giving him immunity. Maybe that would have confused those aligned against him into voting separately. Who knows? But to John's credit, he made BIG choices in this game, and though they didn't ultimately pay off, he had the guts and confidence to do all that he did. Congratulations to him for making the show interesting.

Speaking of having balls, the immunity challenge was evil, was it not? Chopping off the coconuts was a strong metaphor in a challenge designed to force players to attack one another, however kind you want the face on it to be. It was evil and the Rotu four screwed up. It's hard to see things clearly in that situation, so I won't be too harsh, but it would have been much smarter for them NOT to unveil their pecking order. That, mixed with the cockiness that followed, killed them.

PASCHAL, buddy … How's that "word you have" doing this morning? I've already gotten some mean mail about you. Though many seem to think it was John's time to go, the apparent strategic flip to vote against him creates an interesting dynamic around Judge English. I'm all for him and NELEH emerging victorious. I would have loved to see RODGER and ELISABETH in the final two. But the Judge's decision to state the solidity of his ethical word, then break it (to be forever known as "pulling a pappy") was a fascinating act, in my opinion. HE'S A JUDGE! I would think Paschal and Neleh's choices would have quite an effect on John's final jury vote if one of them indeed makes it to the end.

Ask any member of the Kucha tribe and they'll tell you that based on last night's episode, SEAN and I have something in common -- our gas (!) and our pure, freeing joy in sharing it. The guy farted while being interviewed in private. That's gutsy! Not to mention a sure fire way to test the cameraman's ability to suppress laughter. I would have loved to see the faces of anyone standing behind that lens. It had to be almost as funny as The General flying his pretty little green kite. I'm sure the boys on the block back in Queens got a real kick out of that one!

But Sean is such a pivotal character in this show that I'd hate to see him leave it now. Aside from being completely hysterical, he brings race into so much. Last night JOHNNIE COCHRAN was about to get a phone call from him, AL SHARPTON and his flock have already been called, he's been treated like a slave, and when talking to Paschal and Neleh on the beach, he said, "things ain't all honky-dory over here." I've always heard it referred to as "hunky-dory." This white man is not offended. In fact, I laughed out loud. I'm thrilled such a polarizing character is around for another week.


I'm still loving KATHY! She makes a great deal of sense and is certainly on top of her game. Right now, she's my favorite to win it all. Kathy sells homes. Ever had a good salesperson try and sell you a home, car or anything else -- especially a pushy salesperson? Negotiation is a skill she's honed, and we saw a little of that last night as she successfully made a deal with Zoe, then rallied the troops to oust John. I was shocked to see Paschal and Neleh change their minds and vote for John, but more impressed with Kathy's maneuvering. The entire power shift made last night's episode astounding. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Oh, and ... nice abs, John!

Car54

Sunday, May 05, 2002 - 04:08 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
URVIVAL INSTINCT: Episode Ten
By Jeff Varner, Special to ET Online
May 3, 2002


Episode ten taught us that NELEH's a nightmare, the General's not so general anymore, and VECEPIA needs some LEANDER … bad!



For some reason, I feel surrounded by birthdays all of a sudden. Vecepia celebrated a tearful one last night. Yesterday ALICIA CALAWAY turned 19. And about a week or so ago, I turned 23. Reveling in my youthful appearance and demeanor ;-) I tied one on. There are a few things about the night that seem a little blurry, I must confess. But one memory is crystal clear. Neleh sent a nice happy birthday message to me through the grapevine. I found that touching. In my mind, I immediately constructed this image of a lovely young lady who was gracious and kind enough to take time from her day to send that message to someone she's never met. The real Neleh MUST be special. I look forward to a big hug from her at the finale. But Neleh, the contestant (now HERE'S where I get in trouble again), looks none-of-the-above right now. She's stepped up to the plate and is swinging big!


Last week when her devilish side started to creep up, the arrogance with which she laughed at the fallen alliance showed us a side of "Survivor: Marquesas" "sweetheart" that wasn't so sweet. It seemed her pure-as-the-driven-snow persona had a few tire tracks through it. So it didn't surprise me when she jumped at Pappy's invitation to wine and dine, not even thinking twice about suggesting Vecepia. I mean, it was the lady's birthday and she obviously struggled with it that day. Isn't that what a nice and gracious young lady would do? (Strike One) What the hell does "oh my heck" mean? She said it four thousand times (Strike Two).


Little Neleh was a little obnoxious last night. Sure, kudos to her for being elected to join in the day trip of luxury. But to incessantly rub it everyone's face, not only when she returned, but the next morning as well, wasn't cool. That, compared with the very pompous offering of her used mint when everyone expected food, downright sucked. (Strike Three)

But since she let me know how kind and generous she really is by sending me love on my birthday, I remove all strikes. Thanks, Neleh! You little devil >:-} Now go be nice!



ROBERT continues to come to life. The General has been just that … general. All season he's been a background player. But noticing the way he laid his head on Pappy's shoulder in sadness when TAMMY left showed a kinder, more gentle side to the big goober. He's also becoming more and more of a presence as the show progresses. He seems dedicated and extremely focused. I think it's very possible for him to win future immunities, in addition to potentially swaying some votes away from him. Time will tell. I just know I like him.


You have to love the shock on Vee's face when her name popped up for the first time in a tribal council, not once, but twice. The emotional depth she offered us in this episode was a nice departure from the righteous and strong Vecepia we've come to know. She was honestly moved by SEAN's special treatment -- a cool gesture that appeared genuine. Their bond is tight. Power pairs seem to be breaking out in the final six. Vecepia/Sean vs. Neleh/PASCHAL vs. Robert/KATHY, maybe. The relationship between them is not clear. I wonder why? They are both hard workers and very focused people. One would assume they'd be buddies, or at least connected. In the Australian show, we didn't get a full glimpse of the bond between TINA and COLBY until the end was in sight. Unveiling their bond would spoil the secret. Their relationship had to be a "surprise." Could Kathy and Rob be that male/female final pair the Internet rumors speak of? It's worth keeping an eye on.

Who knows what will happen. I love that it's not so easy to figure out. The finale should be a dramatic show followed by a great reunion hosted by ROSIE O'DONNELL. I'll be there along with the other "used-to-be's." Great stories typically crawl out of mass "Survivor" gatherings! You don't want to miss my final column!

Pamy

Sunday, May 05, 2002 - 04:24 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks Car! Jeff's summaries just keep getting better!!!

Knightpatti

Sunday, May 05, 2002 - 06:24 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
There was a spoiler on Mess that Jeff is going to be the surprise guest this week given away by Alicia on Fox 5. I guess she works there now? That is what this story said. From Jeff's article that is what it appears to be a made up story.

Alicia just turned 19? How can that be?

Hippyt

Sunday, May 05, 2002 - 07:06 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Knightpatti,lol,he's joking! He's not 23 either!

Knightpatti

Sunday, May 05, 2002 - 07:15 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I thought he was joking, but I was not sure

Car54

Saturday, May 11, 2002 - 04:26 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
SURVIVAL INSTINCT: Episode 11
By Jeff Varner, Special to ET Online
May 10, 2002



It's Mother's Day! What a fitting tribute to mom KATHY to have her very fortunate son PATRICK spend time with mom in Marquesas. Patrick clearly loves his mother and their relationship is an interesting one. It was neat to see her involve him in her strategy, though he didn't appear to help much. I think he was shell-shocked by the cameras. He had to be jet-lagged when he got there. He seemed a little tight with the interviews and you could see how aware of the cameras he was. What an experience for this guy to have! He is the only non-competitor to ever spend the night at a "Survivor" camp. That's a big distinction for him and great story leading us into Mother's Day.



Oh my heck, when NELEH's mom came running up that path, I thought I was watching a rerun of "Little House On The Prarie." I expected Laura Ingles to come trotting out after her with a little wicker basket tied with bows and full of daffodils and lilies. My insulin level skyrocketed with all that sweetness -- too much emotion for me. I mean, I was raised to love and honor my mother, and, man, did I miss her when I was playing my game. But Maw Varner (though her last name's no longer Varner and I think she's happy about that) is a strange breed.


I could hear her cussin' me out from her High Point, N.C. living room last night as each one of those family members filed out from behind that bush. The loved ones in Marquesas, no doubt, made her realize how close she came (had I not been voted off) to having the same experience. It being Mother's Day and all, I thought about it. She would've sacrificed her first born (that being me) for the chance to terrify me on national TV.

I laugh when I say my old lady's a mess and a constant joker. She is always laughing and is cunning enough to play along with the best of them. She lives to humiliate me in public, and the more uncomfortable I am, the more pure the enjoyment she gets from it all. She would make SCARY-GOOD television, but had she peeked around a bush in the Outback, my tears of joy would've quickly been followed by fear and panic that she'd win something and come back to camp with me! ::GASP::



Don't get me wrong. I love my mama dearly. This "push of her buttons" is completely to honor her in a way only she will appreciate. She's a definite source of joy and fun for many people and ALL OF THEM, including her, will love her characterization here.
Unlike Kathy, my mom would have followed through on her thought of aligning with ROBERT. He's a great, down-to-earth guy with a voice suited for a cartoon character. He didn't lie to a single person. I'm not sure that's the case for any of those remaining. In fact, I spy a couple of people scheming and conniving behind their masks of righteousness.
As peeved as SEAN and VEE were at Neleh, it seemed a new foursome would easily come together. The fact it didn't transpire tells you more is going on we don't see. Early on in this column-writing experience I predicted Kathy to either end up in trouble down the road, or be sitting in a valuable swing position. Now that Robert is gone, there she sits, swinging away. She now is trapped between two power pairs. If she plays it right, it could be the trump card she needs to scoot right into the final round. The previews make her seem vulnerable. The situation seems something very different.

I was particularly taken with the philosophical references everyone had regarding their "Survivor" experience and how it is changing their lives. Being separated from everything familiar does change you. It is so true that you cherish the end pieces of the loaf of bread and you realize how petty and silly you can be over the stupidest things." Survivor" is a great teacher. Its lessons have been far greater than any high-priced college degree I could've obtained. Because of it, I am more aware, and more in touch with what's important in life … like my infectiously jolly mama!

P.S. Happy Mother's Day, you twisted old broad, and to all the other mothers out there, twisted or not.


P.P.S. Congratulations, Vee, on your wedding to LEANDER. All my best to you both!

Hippyt

Saturday, May 11, 2002 - 04:52 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
That's a great article! I bet his Mom is a piece of work!

Squaredsc

Saturday, May 11, 2002 - 06:04 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
once again, thanks car, good article. now with his reference to vee at the end, is that who he is predicting to get voted out???

Car54

Friday, May 17, 2002 - 02:25 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
SURVIVAL INSTINCT: Episode 12
By Jeff Varner, Special to ET Online
May 17, 2002



"What goes around comes around." It's a phrase we've all been weaned on. Many of us have experienced it first hand. Some of us have yet to be bitten by our own intentions. One thing is certain, however. Retribution will be paid Sunday night by one or more of our newly-crowned final four members. And revenge will be sweet for Rotu's exiled alliance.


I'm not certain what was going through the minds of PASCHAL, NELEH, KATHY, SEAN and VEE when they decided to kick ROBERT off. They cast him out along with JOHN, TAMMY and ZOE, and they did so with scorn for forming an alliance against them. They spoke volumes about how this game would be played fairly, without alliances. The anti-alliance banded together (something most intelligent people would consider "forming an alliance") to make the foursome pay for their behavior. One-by-one their torches were extinquished, ridding the game of the scourge-the unethical ones. Shame on them, right? Wrong!

The Rotu four formed their alliance to control who the winner would be. Now, although the winner will not be one of them, the control rests firmly on their banded-together shoulders. Their loyalty to their unit was clear as they paraded their all-black attire before the cameras and the desperate contestants. Was their message heard?


I think Kathy heard it. So much so that she used her immunity to play both sides against one another. Sean's desperation and anger enraged Paschal into one of the most, if not THE most, dramatic tribal council to date. With voices raised, breathing patterns quickened and tempers flared, the not-aligned Sean and against-alliances Pappy attacked one another in a battle over who is aligned with whom and when they formed them. Pappy admitted his allegiance to Neleh and Sean, though he tried to dance around it, was clearly teamed with Vecepia. Kathy's smugness in instigating this exchange was classic.



If it wasn't clear before, it should be now. In this game, actions are like boomerangs. If you throw it out there, it will eventually come back to you. Immunity is so much more critical in this season's finale than in any other. Getting to that final two will be a challenge. Sitting their being grilled by the alliance they once scorned will be an excellent adventure in itself. Who should those four be leaning toward?
I think Pappy has done some damage in his fight to make a statement and stick to it. I recall the "chopping of the nuts" challenge. Prior, Paschal promised John he was on their team. He gave his Georgia-licensed word. He "pulled a Pappy" when Sean was able to convince him that the coconuts fell in the boot order-a move Paschal believed and used as justification to kill off the alliance. Last night he plainly told Kathy he had never believed Vecepia and Sean. Wow! I love that this judge flips and flops more than a panicked, beached fish gasping in its last moments of life. John won't forget this. I don't think they'll pick him.


Neleh has annoyed everyone. I, frankly, have enjoyed that this season's "sweetheart" is a little vixen poised to slit the throat of anyone -- other than Pappy. I don't believe she is consciously being thoughtless and insensitive as she brags about how clean she smells and how the mint in her mouth tastes so wonderful that everyone should have a piece of it, slobber and all! I think she's just young. This adventure had to be particularly enriching for her, but I don't think her "ELISABETH FILARSKI"-esque strategy merits a million dollars. I'd say most agree. I don't think they'll pick her.

Vee is the righteous, non-drama queen who has laid very low throughout most of this game. Her characterization in the show has been full of religious references peppered with rational strategy and a "deceptive nature," according to the late, great General. Will her deceptiveness come back to haunt her? Robert and Tammy both voted for Vee while stating how she was lazy and didn't contribute. I don't think she'll be winning any easy votes from the foursome either.

This game is all about Kathy. This woman is this Survivor's choice to end her hard-fought battle for acceptance with a million-dollar check in her hand. She transformed herself. She started out very brash and rough, barking orders and administering guilt for not matching her work ethic. The swap offered her an opportunity to change her image-a chance she capitalized on beautifully. She named her merged tribe, peed on John's hand and has been an amazingly practical and neutral force throughout. She is clearly the player the "men in black" respect most.

John and Robert both have pointed out that the final tribal council would be an opportunity for them to pass judgment on those that have judged them. Now that they control the jury, revenge is theirs. If Kathy can hang on by kicking into her very comfortable role of master negotiator, or by winning immunity, she's the next millionaire. Whatever happens, I'll be there. Check back here Monday to hear all about it!