Jerri Jokes

The ClubHouse: Archives: Jerri Jokes

Grooch

Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 12:58 pm Click here to edit this post

One day, Kentucky Joe was in town picking up
supplies for his farm. He stopped by the
hardware store and picked up a bucket and an
anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer
to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem: How was he going
to carry all his purchases home?

The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the
anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one
hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the
goose in your other hand?"

"Hey, thanks!" Kentucky Joe said, and off he
went. While walking he met Jerri who told him
she was lost.

She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515
Mockingbird Lane?"
Kentucky Joe said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I
live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take the
short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there
in no time."

Jerri said, "How do I know that when we get in
the alley you won't hold me up against the wall,
pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

Kentucky Joe said, "Holy smokes Jerri! I am
carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a
goose. How in the world could I possibly hold
you up against the wall and do that?"

Jerri said, "Set the goose down, cover him with
the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket,
and I'll hold the chickens!"

Lancecrossfire

Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 05:56 pm Click here to edit this post
Jerri and Didi could trade chicken stories! hehehe

Digilady

Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 09:35 pm Click here to edit this post
BWAHhahahahaha!

I have just the accessory for that hat. Will send it to Jerri poste-haste.

Grooch

Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 06:35 am Click here to edit this post
Once upon a time a beautiful, independent, self-
assured Jerri came upon a frog in a pond. The
frog said to Jerri, "I was once a handsome prince
until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss
from you and I will turn back into a prince and
then we can marry, move into the castle with my
mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my
clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy
doing so."

That night, as Jerri dined on the frog's legs in
garlic butter, she laughed to herself and
thought "I don't f_cking think so!"

Guruchaz

Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 09:08 am Click here to edit this post
LOL!

Willi

Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 11:42 am Click here to edit this post
lol Grooch!!!

Puttergirl

Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 05:36 pm Click here to edit this post
Jerri and Colby win the obstacle course challenge and get to go to a beach for the day. A helicopter comes to take them away. Jerri gets in and immediately sets her hat down in Colby's seat.

"Could I please sit in that seat?" Colby asks. Jerri acts insulted and says "Can't you see my hat is sitting there?" So Colby sits down on the edge of the seat. The pilot gets in and they take off. After a few minutes, Colby starts to get a cramp in his side. Colby says to Jerri, "I would be glad to hold your hat if I could sit all the way back". Jerri replies- "I'm sorry, but I have to be very careful with it. I'm planning to auction it off on E-bay after I become famous back home."

So Colby leans forward a while longer, but finally gets so tired, he reaches behind him, picks up the hat, throws it out the window, and sits back. Jerri is speechless. Colby sighs and says "Man, it felt good to throw that b_tch out of the window!"

Finally, the pilot speaks up. "Young man, I don't know what took you so long, but I do know one thing. You just threw the wrong b_tch out!!"

Lancecrossfire

Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 05:41 pm Click here to edit this post
Wow, Jerri is loved by all!! LMAO

Puttergirl

Friday, March 30, 2001 - 07:04 am Click here to edit this post
Ok, a couple more... short ones (I love Jerri Jokes!!):


After Jerri got voted off, they took her to see the camp doctor. Her asked her what was bothering her the most and she stated "Doctor, doctor, everyone hates me."
To which he replied "Dont be stupid, everyone hasn't met you yet."

What's the definition of Mixed Emotions? When you win the award challenge... to spend a day on a beach with Jerri!

Grooch

Friday, March 30, 2001 - 07:36 am Click here to edit this post
Jerri's Revenge:

Jerri and Colby are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, Jerri says, "So we meet again, that's interesting. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet again and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Dazed, Colby replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" Jerri continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to Colby, Colby nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to Jerri.
Jerri takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to Colby.
Colby asks, "Aren't you having any?"
Jerri replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."