Archive through September 15, 2003
TV ClubHouse: Archive: Paradise Hotel (FOX) (ARCHIVES):
Archive through September 15, 2003
Happyhounds | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 11:14 am     It is the best review of paradise hotel I have read. A must read |
Molz | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 12:04 pm     thanks happyhounds. that was the funniest review i ever read. right on the money. i just said to my husband this morning...oh, the crazy people are on tonight. do i dare watch and get my blood pressure up? yeah, probably. |
Happyhounds | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 02:01 pm     It better be good tonight. I want some poetic justice. If it's just a screaming b*tch fest, I won't watch it again. here's hoping |
Kitt | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 02:24 pm     I can't get that link to load - can anyone grab the text and post it here (if it's not too long)? Thanks. |
Ladydewtel | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 02:45 pm     Every Rose Has Its Thorn As the show starts tonight, Dramatic Voiceover Man promises us that this is “the beginning of the end”. Don’t toy with our emotions, man. When we last visited the hotel, the evicted guests were back - 1 male and 1 female to be reintroduced into the game - and Zack was looking for revenge. He wasn’t happy that he’d been axed, and he didn’t appreciate the negativity directed at his girl Amy. Let’s hope he doesn’t ever find my previous recaps, otherwise I can only assume that he’ll be on the first flight to Chicago that has 51 open seats. At the moment, Keith is the prime recipient of his ire, and is treated to such gems as “If you ran your mouth like that in the real world, I’d slap it off.” I personally found that hilarious, as it brought back many great childhood memories of a particularly uncooperative Mr. Potato Head. Unfortunately for Zack and Amy, Zack’s attempt to be a badass blows up in his face, as he’s informed that threats of physical violence will NOT be tolerated in Paradise, and he is now ineligible to be brought back onto the show. Keith’s reaction to this news? “I kicked him out again.” Excellent. I love Keith. Knowing that he’ll be leaving shortly, Zack informs his crew that when he leaves, he’s going to make a point of telling the Charla clan that they are not to ask for his phone number and contact information. I’m sure they’re heartbroken, if for no reason other than they might want to ask him where he got that rockin’ headband. He goes on to say that he doesn’t need poison in his life. I beg to differ. I think a little arsenic is just what the doctor ordered. Or maybe a little “Look What The Cat Dragged In”. Bret Michaels, you owe me one. |
Ladydewtel | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 02:47 pm     "Naive Barbie" on sale in aisle 3 With Zack out of the picture, Andon decides that this is his window of opportunity. He’s a man with a plan. He’s going to work Charla and Tara, hoping to earn their trust. He’s going to “get underneath them, and tear them apart.” Whoa, buddy. Is this a plan, or just some wishful thinking? He starts out by killing Charla with kindness, letting her know she’s one of the most powerful people in Paradise. St. Peter can’t be too happy with that news. Charla falls for it hook, line and sinker, and tells Andon that she’s always liked him. Poor Charla. Poor, stupid Charla. Tara’s no more difficult to convert, and she assures Andon that she and Charla will agree to vote the same person on. Charla later has a conversation with Dave, in which he tells her that Andon cannot be the man voted back in. He hasn’t forgotten the way he was treated. In flashbacks, we see just how cruel Andon has been to Dave, and I have to say I can’t blame him for not wanting to be subjected to more of that. Charla, knowing full well that Andon has already secured her vote, tells Dave not to let “them” get to him so much, to stop expending so much energy on them. He should be focusing his energy on their group. What a good friend you are, Charla. These people have been grade-school-style heinous to Dave, but hey - he should just get over it, right? It’s called loyalty. Look it up. |
Ladydewtel | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 02:49 pm     When Skunks Attack! Toni. Ah, Toni. Despite her surprising lack of facetime on this episode, who could forget our favorite he-she? I think we've all seen interviews of former reality contestants, shot after the shows have ended. Generally, they say that they've let go of any show-related negativity. We learn that they’ve hung out with their sworn enemies, that they’ve had conversations of forgiveness, that they’ve moved on with their lives. Not our Toni. Maybe she needs more time. Maybe she needs some distance and perspective. Or maybe she needs thorazine. Whatever the case may be, she takes the opportunity to give Tara a verbal beatdown, replete with eye-bulges. She tells Tara that she’s fake, she’s a liar, and the way she conducts herself is disgusting. “If you’re really like this in life, I hope you change.” Project much, Toni? Pot. Kettle. You know the rest. To Tara’s credit, she doesn’t say much in response. Normally I’d advocate telling Toni to go to hell, but let’s face it - nobody needs to see a ‘roid-rage induced “I’ll smash you good!” scenario, now do we? Having made her point, Toni leaves in a huff, as is her custom. Baseball Caps Are An Integral Part Of Every Love Scene But let us not forget that Paradise Hotel has a softer side. A sweeter side. An endearing side. Yes, I mean resident lovebirds Zack and Amy. As they cuddle in bed, Zack tries to pin down Amy’s emotional state. He wants to know what their future holds. Outside of dermatologists and Pro-Activ, that is. Amy assures Zack that they’ll go far, as “this is the most stable I’ve ever felt.” Good Lord. No, I mean it. My God. Can you even imagine what that says about her, pre-PH? They exchange declarations of love, and Zack - wearing his baseball cap in bed, no less - caresses Amy’s face. Hey, there’s a redeeming quality. I didn’t know he could read braille. Green-eyed Monster And what of our other lovebirds, Holly and Scott? How will Melanie’s return affect their budding romance? Holly isn’t very happy that Scott has been blowing her off since the return of the evictees, and she and Scott have it out. He reassures her that it’s going to be the two of them until the finals, but at the same time, he wants to spend time with the people he hasn’t been able to see in weeks. Holly “whatever”s him, but it doesn’t seem to make much difference to Scott. Don’t worry, Holly. You have a good two cup sizes on Melanie. You’re all good. Melanie comes to Holly to also add her reassurance. She lets Holly know that she has nothing to worry about, that she and Scott are just friends. Holly tells Melanie that it’s fine, she isn’t the jealous type. Melanie promptly goes back to report to Scott, telling him “Holly likes you. I mean, she LIKES you.” Scott is non-committal. Later on, Holly tells Scott that Melanie is NOT to room with him if she returns. It’s not jealousy, though. It’s strategy. Right, that’s it. Strategy. Paging Dr. Freud The next morning at breakfast, Amy is having issues. Snide remarks abound, and pretty much everyone is feeling uncomfortable. Kavita, in the most intelligent thing I’ve seen a hotel guest say, tells the camera "These people are ridiculous. God forbid anything horrible ever happens in their lives, because then they’ll know what to cry about.” Damn straight, Kavita. I now love this girl. Amanda quite reasonably asks Amy if she’s ever tried to talk out her problems with the people she dislikes, to which Amy replies “Don’t analyze me.” Good thinking, Amy. This show only has a couple more weeks to air. Following in the (12EEE) footsteps of her mentor Toni, Amy takes off in a huff. As Charla and Tara leave the table, Melanie tries to apologize for the uncomfortable situation. Sweet, right? Wrong. Melanie informs the viewing public that now that she’s back, she wants to stay. If that means pretending to suck up to Charla and Tara, that’s what she’ll do. A fine example of how age does not necessarily breed maturity. I knew William Wallace. William Wallace was a friend of mine. You, Zack, are no William Wallace Lest the camera be off of Zack for more than two minutes at a time, we’re treated to an absolutely priceless diatribe, with Amy as the sole audience member. For those of you who missed the show, you missed comedy gold. I could just transcribe it verbatim - no commentary added - and you’d be doubled over, falling out of your chairs. However, there are space considerations to bear in mind, so I’ll just hit the high points for you. He tells Amy “I wanted to leave here looking good, and I’ll leave looking terrible. One comment and now I’m a raging psycho.” You have to give the boy points for a well-developed sense of self-awareness. Oh, he was being sarcastic? Okay, then give him points for such a beautifully formed delusional state. To that end, he goes on to say “I’m the real winner here. Not Keith! Not Charla! People know who the real winners are!” Take a minute to compose yourselves, because it gets better. No, really, it does. “You gotta keep moving forward. I’ll take the amazing things I got out of this, and just move on. I wouldn’t be a male with Scottish blood and Italian blood if I didn’t take full pride in myself. All you have to do is watch “Braveheart” to see how proud the Scottish people are.” I’m sorry, did he just say “Braveheart”? Rewind. Look at my drink to see if my fiancé somehow added a hallucinogen when I wasn’t looking. Rewind again. Oh sweet Jesus. He did. He really did. Zack, this is Paradise freaking Hotel. You aren’t fighting the English for control of your country. You aren’t a crusader against tyranny. You’re a sorry little man wearing a headband. Go do some karaoke of “Let’s Get Physical” and shut the hell up. Mel Gibson ought to hop a plane to Paradise right now and kick your ass, just on principle. Amy manages to keep a straight face, and stays silent. But he hasn’t reached the pinnacle of delusion quite yet, if you can believe it. Later on, sitting around a table with all the guests, he calls out Dave. He brings up how Charla didn’t want Dave touching her, commenting on how embarrassing it must have been. Dave very maturely says “Yeah, it was embarrassing, but I got over it. Your behavior here is far more embarrassing.” Very very true, Dave. Zack disagrees, saying “I’m well-loved, that’s why I’m back here.” No, jerkhead, you’re back here because ALL the freaking guests were brought back. Someone punch this kid already. “If I was such a bad guy, would someone love me?” People marry serial killers in prison, Zack. Logic isn’t your strong suit. Stick to headbands. “You’re intimidated by me. You’re all intimidated by me.” I’m seriously speechless. Why doesn’t anyone put this little freak in his place? God, I need a cigarette. The Redemption Song Oddly enough, at dinner, Zack tries to redeem himself. He makes a speech in which he claims to care about everyone there, even Charla, and presumably Keith. He says that he came into the happy little bubble of Paradise because he wanted to be pampered, to be treated like a rich person. He didn’t like himself very much when he first arrived, but he thinks he’s taking steps in the right direction. I’ll admit that I didn’t see any of the episodes when he was a “real” guest at the hotel, but if this is *better*, well, I can’t even imagine how bad he must have been to begin with. I’m all for making amends and apologizing for bad behavior, but if this was anything more than a ploy to try to look better for the cameras, I’ll eat my keyboard. And I have one of those monstrous ergonomic keyboards, so this isn’t a wager I’m making lightly. I'll be back! And finally, the big moment arrives. It’s time to vote two guests back on. First up, the men. Will Andon’s duplicity be rewarded? Let’s find out. Matt received zero votes. Buh-bye Matt. Alex received zero votes. Adios, Alex. Zack is disqualified, leaving only Andon and Beau. Ladies, who did you pick? Amy: Beau Desiree: Beau Tara: Andon Charla: Andon Holly, breaking the tie: Beau. Welcome back, Beau. Now for the ladies. Amanda, you received zero votes. Arrivederci, Amanda. Kristin, zero votes. Later, Kristin. Toni, you won’t be returning. They don’t tell us if she got any votes, or, if she did, how many. So now it’s between Kavita and Melanie. Gentlemen, reveal your votes, please. Scott: Melanie. Tom: Melanie Dave: Kavita Keith: Kavita. Another tie. The ladies will have to break it. Amy: Melanie Desiree: Melanie Tara: Kavita Charla: Kavita So it’s up to Holly. I’ll hand it to PH here, because this was actually decent drama. Well, decent by reality show standards. It ain’t Shakespeare. But Holly is sort of forced into a tough situation here. Does she prove herself a liar, and let her jealousy keep her from voting Melanie on? Or does she keep up the cool-girl charade, and hope for the best? It’s the latter. She votes for Melanie. Did she shoot herself in the foot? Find out next time, when Wolf will bring you a recap far superior to the nicotine-craving-induced one you just read. |
Ladydewtel | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 02:51 pm     there you go Kit. Sorry if it is to long guys. If I did wrong in posting it I appologize now. |
Kitt | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 03:03 pm     Thank you SO MUCH! I hate it when I can't get to interesting links! |
Jan | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 03:52 pm     hmmm..my online TV guide has this to say about tonight's episode. Doesn't sound good for the good guys: "One of the women has an emotional breakdown during the final eliminations." |
Jan | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 04:26 pm     this one is from the FOX site for tonight's episode: "ONE OF THE FINAL GUESTS IS FORCED TO CHECK OUT ON AN ALL-NEW ‘PARADISE HOTEL’ MONDAY, SEPT. 15, ON FOX One of the remaining women is overcome with emotion as the final elimination process begins. Yet another guest is forced to check out of the hotel. A surprise twist in the game puts one guest in the difficult position of having to choose another guest to send home and tensions continue to increase as all of the remaining guests know that their days are numbered on PARADISE HOTEL Monday, Sept. 15 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX" Maybe the person evicted gets to pick who gets evicted with them? |
Auntiemike | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 04:50 pm     hmmmm, could be interesting. If one of the bad guys has to go then maybe they pick one of the good guys to be eliminated as well, which would make the other three good ones left behind very sad indeed and perhaps "overcome with emotion". I hope that is the case because there has to be a way for the bad ones to be gone. |
Tagurit | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 05:29 pm     Jan - if what I have been reading on the Fox's PH message board is correct, then you are definitely correct. I haven't posted anything as I don't want to spread rumors if it is incorrect and don't want to spoil for people. There are also supposed screen caps from tonight's episode on another site. Now, if what has been posted over there is indeed true, we should be happy tonight. I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed. |
Dipo | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 05:34 pm     Hope someone on the east coast is planning to spoil the show, I sure would like to know who gets the boot!!! Thanks in advance. |
Auntiemike | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 05:53 pm     Anybody able to spoil this show tonight???? P L E A S E, pretty please. We love you! |
Maryk | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 05:59 pm     I'm not a good spoiler person but here goes: - women have to cook for the men. doing a bad job - now they are asking the guest to name their 2 greatest allies and 1 rival. |
Jan | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 06:07 pm     they are spoiling at this site. I am giving you the site for page 1..there are 4 pages already. Just read and page through if you want: spoiling tonight's episode |
Maryk | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 06:26 pm     Melanie has been eliminated. But one other guest is going to be eliminated... |
Maryk | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 06:31 pm     Melanie has to chose an ally! Desiree or Amy... She chose Desiree. Desiree is out! Yay! |
Dipo | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 06:40 pm     excellent, maryk, this was really all the info I needed for now, I can watch the show in peace and do my chores without missing anything. Thank you. |
Tagurit | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 06:50 pm     I may have to start believing a bit what I read on Fox's message board. People said Mel and Desiree were the ones to leave. Did Melanie really think Dave would pick her over Charla?!?! Hello! For those that didn't watch, they all (guys and girls) had to write down two people that are their allies and one person that is their rival. Melanie chose Amy and Desiree as allies and Charla as rival. Amanda had gold envelope with her and when opened said that Melanie was to choose an ally to go with her. Desiree said she didn't have to decide because Amy deserves to stay. Amy then screamed "No! Let her decide!" Desiree and Melanie both said that Amy has been there since day one. And deserved to win. blah blah blah Added tears for emphasis. During the show, the girls had to cook lunch for the guys. Let me tell you, those guys probably went hungry. lol Amy grilled food (hamburgers, fish, chicken) and nothing was cooked thoroughly. Utterly disgusting. I would never want her to cook a meal for me! lol Keith didn't attend because supposedly he was sick. Tara was nice enough to bring him PB&J. He was the lucky one. lol The kicker was at the end when the delusional three (Amy, Beau and Tom) were whining how all the good people leave. If they consider all the originals "good people", they are crazy. Also, Holly showed quite the jealous streak with Scott. She jumped on him about hanging out with C/T/D/K more than their group and most importantly her. He got a bit fed up with her and got out of bed. He was trying to explain to her that he had to talk with them to remain civil with everyone. |
Dogdoc | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 07:03 pm     I think Scott is beginning to see the light. I loved the mug shots of Amy tonight. She is so photogenic. |
Kady | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 07:51 pm     I really think Miss Holly is getting on Scott's last nerve. Melanie could have put him in a bad position of choosing between them but didn't. She knew from Scott's answer at Pandora's box that he would choose Holly so at least she didn't put him in that position. |
Zami | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 07:52 pm     hey folks, what did the "next week on paradise hotel" say? my VCR cut it off |
Kathyb | Monday, September 15, 2003 - 08:38 pm     Yes, I'm sure Melanie chose Dave so none of her group would have to vote her off. I also think she'd already told Dave she was going to choose him, and that's why we saw Dave giving Charla the option of leaving. He seemed very sure that he could make that happen if she wanted to go home. |
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