TVCH FORUMS HOME . JOIN . FAN CLUBS . ABOUT US . CONTACT . CHAT  
Bomis   Quick Links   TOPICS . TREE-VIEW . SEARCH . HELP! . NEWS . PROFILE
I don't know how she does it...Chapte...

The TVClubHouse: Archives: Movies & Library 2003 -2004: Library: June 2003 - April 2004: TVCH Book Club (ARCHIVES): I don't know how she does it...Chapter Six users admin

Author Message
Twiggyish

Wednesday, January 22, 2003 - 2:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Go ahead with your posts

Marysafan

Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 10:38 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"The Court of Motherhood" who would qualify as a good judge? Kate's guilt is acting up again.

I know how this feels. I abhor shopping, so when I would have to travel...hubby would take the girls to the mall for some "recreational shopping". They learned to develop their own fashion sense without my interference...and still had Dad along to nix anything outrageous, but one day, I happened to be in a store where they were having a fantastic sale on jeans...and I had to call hubby to ask him what size the girls were wearing. BIG TIME guilt trip!

Wargod

Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 11:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'm home now with the kids and still won't buy them clothes or shoes without them there to check there sizes, LOL.

Guilt trip...having to work when you're babies are sick, or going to class when they're sick. How many mothers....and fathers...haven't felt like at one time or another they're guilty of some kind of parental crime? Miss an important activity for your child, want to sleep just a few more minutes in the morning, or want a quiet night alone? Yep, been there, done that.

Spygirl

Friday, January 24, 2003 - 7:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The funny thing is -- I do not remember feeling as though my parents were terrible simply because they couldn't be there with me every time I was sick -- at least I don't remember it.

On the other hand, when I had my surgery in September, I was scared to death because I wasn't sure my mom could make it. I didn't tell her that, but I was. She finally was able to take off work, but up until the week prior, I was certain I would have to go at it alone.

Wargod

Friday, January 24, 2003 - 11:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Thats whats so funny here too Spy. My mom worked the entire time I was growing up. She didn't bake cookies, sew clothes, grandma watched us when we were sick, and I didn't feel I was missing anything. She did what she had to.

Yet the guilt is still there. When Dakota got sick, my mom took her to the doctor, cuz it was just a cold....she was diagnosed with asthma. When the doctor found out Caleb needed glasses, grandma was with him because it was just a routine check up. Do I feel guilty I wasn't there? Yep...its been about 2 and a half years since Dakota's asthma was diagnosed, but I still feel like crap that I wasn't there and didn't notice it, other than she didn't feel good. It doesn't matter if you work or stay home with the kids, the guilt is just part of it.

LOL, I know I don't blame my mom for working, and not being Suzy Homemaker, but its just...hard not to expect more of myself.

Tess

Friday, January 24, 2003 - 11:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
What's interesting to me about this dilemna is that my mom didn't work until I was in 8th grade and then it was part time. And yet, she was rarely there for us when we were growing up. I think a working mother can be there for her children more than a stay at home mom who is emotionally dead.

Marysafan

Friday, January 24, 2003 - 11:38 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Tess, I would have to agree. My mom never worked a day in her life outside the home. But she was miserable in her marriage and in her life...and made everyone around her miserable too.

I worked and went to school, but was always very close to my children. I spent time doing things with them. I don't think my mother ever once "played" with us...but she never missed having coffee with the neighbor ladies or her "stories" in the afternoon. She didn't physically leave the house, but she wasn't "there" either.

Kady

Friday, January 24, 2003 - 12:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
If I get nothing else out of reading this book, the knowledge of me realising how lucky I am is priceless. :)

My MIL or Mom has never meddled in my life. I was able to take my son to work with me till he was a year old. I was able to stay home with him any day he was sick. I have been there for every school party and field trip. I am here everyday when he gets home from school. All my life I only wanted to be a wife and mother. If I didn't have my job working for my parents, I would have chosen to lower my standard of living and stay home. My son is my life and I am so lucky to be able to be there for him. :)

Wargod

Friday, January 24, 2003 - 1:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I have realized how lucky I was when I worked. I had mom to watch the kids, and my husband who helped, and like Tess was saying earlier, we worked as a unit to raise the kids. Yet, when I worked, I still envied stay at home moms because they got to do what I wanted to do...which was stay home with my kids.

The more I read this book, the more I realize that even though my job wasn't...any where near as stressful as Kate's, I can so get where she's coming from on some things, LOL.