Author |
Message |
Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 7:34 pm
Hhhhmmmmmm....I'm just noticing they've put Adven's threads in here. Is it because Adven's cheap or because he's entertainment?
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Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 8:01 pm
I would assume both, Ddr 
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Teachmichigan
Member
07-22-2001
| Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 9:39 pm
Just received this today...it may offer you some help Adven on your E of H crusade. The science teacher held up four jars...one filled with smoke, one filled with alcohol, one filled with sperm and one filled with dirt. He put one earthworm in each jar. The next day he held up the four jars again. Smoky jar...dead worm Liquor jar...dead worm Sperm jar....dead worm Dirt jar...happy little worm. When asked what could be learned from this experiment, Little Johnny eagerly replied, "As long as you smoke, drink and have sex, you won't have worms!!"
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 6:52 am
Warren loved that one, Teach. I can't say he laughed out loud, he doesn't have a mouth, but he did slap his knee and point at the computer screen. Today's recipient of the E of H is < extended drum roll> Mocha! She hails from the great state of ... actually, I'm not going to say. Those of you without an E of H might try to track her down and steal it. Her hobbies include collecting clothes dryer lint and she is currently employed as a foot model for "Fetish" magazine.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 8:17 am
Oh jeez.
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 12:14 pm
Congrats, Mocha. I can see how thrilled you are. Remember not to keep the E of H in any of your jars filled with smoke, liquor or sperm. 
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 12:17 pm
Well no worries with the first or the 3rd. Yes I'm very thrilled.
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Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 2:40 pm
Here's a very important note for you E of H recipients to remember. Once everyone on the board has one, will we be in trouble?: "If you weighed all the earthworms in the U.S, they'd be about 55 times heavier than the combined weight of all Americans"
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 3:06 pm
<upends the bottle of tequila, takes the worm, and throws it back in adven's face>
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 3:48 pm
That's a lot of obese worms, Jan. M, that's hardly in keeping with the spirit of the Great Earthworm Crusade of 2004.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 4:14 pm
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 20, 25, 30, 40, 50.... <takes the worm, throws it on the ground, and squishes it under my stiletto>
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Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 4:23 pm
mmmmmmm I don't think Mocha is happy with her worm. Was it something I said ?

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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 4:27 pm
No Jan, it's not you. It's the other worm.
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 7:25 am
Today's lucky recipient of the E of H is < a little toot on a recorder instead of a drun roll, just to be different> Granny! Granny hails from the great state of ... actually, I'm not sure. But I'm sure it's great. Granny enjoys shipping viagara internationally and communing with squirrels. Her goal in life is to stamp out lung disease through preventative radical surgery.
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Grannyg
Member
05-28-2002
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 7:41 am
I am so honored that today is my day!! I was thinking of acquiring another pet and now you have solved that problem for me!! How do you instictively know just what to do to help someone out of a crisis? I am in total awe of your insightful and thoughtful post.
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 7:59 am
It's just the kind of guy I am Granny: thoughtful, insightful, handsome and to die for. Like you said. EARTHWORM ALERT ***EARTHWORM ALERT *** The Great Earthworm Crusade of 2004's 18-wheeler threw an axle this morning in Moose Jaw. Therefore, no E of H's will be handed out this weekend while repairs are made. Warren and I will be checking out the Moose Jaw night life. Back on Monday.
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 11:38 am
I'm so happy to see the E of H has found his way to Granny today. I have a feeling yesterday was a little traumatic for him....just a feeling, could be wrong.
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Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 11:58 am
Maybe Granny can give him one of those pills she sends to Adven. That might "perk" him up , so to speak 
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 3:47 pm
Jan! 
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Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 5:19 pm
I guess I should change the worm bait in my folder. It'll spoil. Although, worms like spoilage...
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Monday, March 22, 2004 - 6:12 am
Hang in there, Jhezzie. The E of H is like Santa. He's got a lot of houses to visit in a short period of time. As long as you're being a good girl and listening to your parents and teachers, he will magically appear. Speaking of E of H's, today's honored recipient is < hard shake of the maracas > Midlifer! Midlifer, hails from the great state of Virginia, home of ham, Slims and no major professional sports teams to speak of. She is a library assistant, so her hobbies are wearing her hair in a matronly bun and shushing library patrons severely. Her one unaccomplished goal in life is to sumo wrestle Cedric the Entertainer.
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Midlifer
Member
04-16-2003
| Monday, March 22, 2004 - 8:28 am
I am honored, Adven. I beg to differ about "no major professional sports teams" from Virginia...well, maybe I don't. HOWEVER, we boast of having the most number of American presidents born in our beautiful state: GEORGE WASHINGTON, THOMAS JEFFERSON, JAMES MADISON, JAMES MONROE, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, Zachary Taylor, and Woodrow Wilson. Other facts about Virginia (do I sound like I work in the library?): --Virginia has more miles of trout streams than it has roads --The Pentagon (in the northern part of our state) has almost 18 miles of corridors --One of the best-loved of children's books, Misty of Chincoteague, written by Marguerite Henry, tells the story of the ponies along Virginia's Eastern shore --the Blue Ridge Mountains are so named because, from a distance, the trees that cover them appear to be blue --Virginia can boast of having the first black governor of any state in America (no, we're not fighting the Civil War anymore, despite what many non-Virginians think) The Virginia ham is ok, but WAY too salty for my taste. Virginia Slims? I don't bring up our tobacco heritage since I'm so anti-smoking. My hobbies? Matronly bun?.....NAW, I'm old, but I don't wear a bun. I generally don't shush library patrons because I make more noise than they do. And...who is Cedric the Entertainer? You know I love ya, right Adven? THANK YOU, once again, for bestowing this (dubious) honor upon me!
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Hermione69
Member
07-24-2002
| Monday, March 22, 2004 - 8:35 am
All hail the Great and All-Knowing Recipient of the E of H-- Midlifer! WHoo hoo!
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Midlifer
Member
04-16-2003
| Monday, March 22, 2004 - 8:39 am
Thank you, Hermie. I am so glad that you are acknowledging my greatness.
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Monday, March 22, 2004 - 9:08 am
Sorry, Mid. I prefer to think of librarians as having matronly buns, at least from the neck north. It's part of a quirky fantasy of mine (I have one for just about every profession) and I'd prefer you did nothing to disillusion me. I didn't know all that about Virginia. Here's an obscure factoid you may not have known: it was also the first state to discover that, yes, there is a Santa Claus.
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