Author |
Message |
Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 1:20 pm
As you probably already know from the cover stories in Time and Newsweek, my profiles on 20/20 and Dateline, the President's State of the Union Address, my speech before the Canadian Parliament and my guest appearance on "The Young and the Restless", I am currently embarked on the Great Earthworm Crusade of 2004, where I visit one member's folder each morning and offer the Earthworm of Happiness to that day's lucky recipient. It's just my way of spreading peace, harmony and the spirit of friendship throughout the board. Due to the groundswell of interest this Crusade has generated, I am providing this FAQ thread as a public service, at my own expense, so you can keep informed of the Great Earthworm caravan's movements. Stay tuned to this thread for the latest news on the Earthworm Crusade. Here are just a few FAQ's to provide some background: Q: How did the Great Earthworm Crusade of 2004 get started? A: A poster who shall remain nameless (Mocha), in a fit of homicidal rage, asked why I only posted in my own folder and rarely in anyone else's. The answer, of course, is I'm self-centred. Feeling this would make me look bad and that most board members would find it highly suspicious if I suddenly acted friendly and likable by visiting them, I concocted this scheme involving the international symbol of goodwill, the earthworm, to allay their doubts. Q: What is an Earthworm of Happiness? A: An Earthworm of Happiness is a hybrid worm combining a regular garden variety worm with the species more commonly found in tequila bottles. Hence, the name. I was going to call them Earthworms of Drunkenness, but I felt this might cause the Crusade some PR problems. Q: Who has received an Earthworm of Happiness so far? A: Tess, Glenn, Ddr, Kar, Eggie, Wink and, today, Ducky have so far received this prestigous honor. It's had a profound effect, too. Tess is no longer the surly, ill-tempered person we have come to know, Glenn has left his latest flame, and now fondles his worm exclusively, Kar wants to bear my children, at least, that's what I'm hoping, Eggie has forsaken a life of crime with the Crips and the Bloods, Wink was last seen cavorting in a meadow with hers and Ducky has yet to be heard from. My guess is she and her worm are practicing yoga somewhere and listening to "Sounds of the Ocean" CD's. Only Ddr seems to have misunderstood the nature of this crusade. She ate hers. Q: When can the kids and I expect the Earthworm of Happiness in my folder? A: Good Question. Warren, a shaman with the E of H's and Keeper of the Slime Trail, makes those decisions and I don't see any particular pattern developing in his choices. So far, we've been criss crossing the continent aimlessly without much attention to gas costs. I should mention that Warren was once dissected in a high school lab experiment and the other the worms now call him Warren Pieces. Pretty clever for creatures with no central nervous system to speak of, if you ask me. Warren also would like the ladies to know that he has fully regenerated, if you know what I mean. Q: Doesn't this strike you as a sham and a pointless use of board space, designed rather pathetically to draw attention to yourself? A: Yes Q: How can I learn more about the Earthworm Crusade? A: You can post your questions here and I'd be happy to answer them or ignore them, depending on how difficult they are. You can also e-mail me. Of course, anything you say will be kept in the strictest confidence. Unless it's deeply personal, of course, then I'll likely post it.
|
Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 1:27 pm
this is just a worm-up. wait til the earthworm of happiness ends up in your folder. he'll be slip slidin' away and leaving little worm fuzzies all over your folder. a new company called "worm inding our own business" provides extra little wigglers at no charge. so check you folders--and your tidy whities daily-- cause you never know what you'll find.
|
Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 1:48 pm

|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 2:15 pm
Oh lord, you're bored again aren't you Adven? And you really need to start leaving my name out or people might actually think I'm cosigning all of your 'brilliant' ideas. 
|
Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 2:26 pm
just what the doctor ordered... now about that tequila, where'd it go I wonder?
|
Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 2:27 pm
Adven, I was just teasing you. Your earthworm is living happily in Louisiana, enjoying the sunshine. I have him on a leash in the backyard where he's happy playing in my flower beds. He's even made a few friends with the neighbor worms, George and Minnie. I think they are planning a barbeque later this afternoon.
|
Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 2:39 pm
how do you bbq a worm? sideways, so it doesn't fall through the grill.
|
Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 2:40 pm
quote:Kar wants to bear my children, at least, that's what I'm hoping,
So many questions: Exactly how heavy are your children? Why can't you bear them yourself? Do I have to come to Canada to pick them up? How far do I have to bear them? Is this a paying position? Is practice involved?
|
Bigd
Member
09-13-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 2:42 pm
well the bluebird of happiness crapped all over my birthday cake one year, is this anything like that?
|
Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 3:11 pm
it depends on whether you discovered this before or after you ate some of the cake.
|
Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 3:24 pm
karuuna, as one of his current employees... i haven't ever seen a paycheck.
|
Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 3:36 pm
Should the E of H be served with chocolate dip, or butterscotch? What? This isn't the Atkins recipe thread? Oh...never mind!
|
Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 3:58 pm
Sorry, M. Although why you'd want to distance yourself from this inspired idea is beyond me. I just wish you'd told me I was a bit of a recluse years ago. I could have had half the board done by now. Also sorry about saying you were in a homicidal rage. That was just a bit of dramatic license. It makes the story more interesting. While I'm apologizing, I might as well apologize to you, too, Kar. When I said I wanted you to bear my children, I realized afterward it could be taken the wrong way. People might think I wanted you and I to, you know, do the ... you know ... that thing they sometimes do on the Discovery Channel. God, I'm so embarrassed! Thank God you realized I was talking about hefting my children for me. My 14 year old's a complete lug and my 11 year old's closing in, so I can recommend a good weight training program for you if you'd like. Ddr, glad to hear you didn't actually eat the worm. That could have been a PR disaster. The Crusade has powerful enemies who'd love to crush it. The rest of you, stop talking about barbequing worms or dipping them in chocolate. This is an enterprise of a higher calling and I won't have you treating it with levity. You wait until Dr. Phil, Anthony Robbins and Oprah weigh in on this subject.
|
Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 4:09 pm
Well, Adven, there's a spin I hadn't thought of. Now I know why I'm still single.... The good news is that I have my own son to bear, and I've picked him up every day since he was born. At this rate, I'll be able to lift 180 pounds one day. I'll let you know when, and at that point I'd be happy to be your beastly burden. 
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 4:15 pm
Um I beg to differ. I did tell you years ago that you were a recluse and you ignored me. And lately, it doesn't take much to work me up to a 'homicidal rage'.
|
Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 4:21 pm
Today I'm happy to report that my E of H is wearing a blue bandana and currently is spray painting his name on my neighbor's blockwall fence....
|
Hippyt
Member
09-10-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 4:32 pm
After the E of H is done with TVCH,is a World Tour planned?
|
Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 5:20 pm
You did, M? You should have said, "You're such a recluse, you remind me of an earthworm". That would have got me headed on the right path. Excellent, Eggie. It makes my heart soar to know you're putting your E of H to good use. Make sure he doesn't get too much sun. A world tour is in the works, Hippy, but there are a few bugs to work out. Some cultures consider them rare delicacies which presents a bit of a problem. Others consider them to be the spawn of the devil, which could be fun, but requires some forethought. Still others consider them to be dieties, so my handing them out like business cards might not go over well. I'm all about world harmony though, so if I can spread the word of friendship and goodwill in some of those countries we should have turned into a parking lot years ago, I will.
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 6:02 pm
Yeah what was I thinking. Obviously I'm not the brains of this operation. <rolling my eyes>
|
Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 6:29 pm
Will the Earthworm -o- Happiness cause me to be investigated by the Department Of Homeland Security?
|
Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 6:33 pm
Earthworms of Happiness World Tour 2004 Sung to "We are the World" There comes a time when we need a certain call When the worms must come together as one There are people dying, oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life The greatest gift of all We can't go on pretending day by day That some worm, somewhere will soon make a change We're all a part of Adven's great big family And the truth, you know love is all we need We are the worms We are Adven's children We are the worms who make a brighter day So let's start givin' There's a choice we're makin' We're savin' our own lives It's true, worms'll make a better day Just you and me Worms, send them you your heart so they know that someone cares And their lives will be stronger and free As Adven has shown us by turning stone to bread And so worms all must lend a helping hand We are the worms We are Adven's children We are the worms who make a brighter day So let's start givin' Worms, there's a choice we're makin' We're savin' our own lives It's true, worm's make a better day Just Adven and me When you're down and out There seems no hope at all But if you just believe There's no way we can fall Well, well, well, let us realize Oh, that one change can only come When we stand together as one Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We are the worm's We are Adven's children We are the worms who make a brighter day So let's start givin' There's a choice we're makin' We're savin' our own lives It's true, worm's make a better day Just Adven and me We are the worms We are Adven's children We are the worms who make a brighter day So let's start givin' There's a choice we're makin' We're saving our own lives It's true, worm's make a better day
|
Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 6:40 pm
Gee. It's like "Worms Across America!"
|
Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 6:44 pm
hmmmmmmm... think I might have seen something about this worm somewhere else....
|
Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 8:03 pm
LOL Jhezzie! You bring back fond memories of when I participated in "Hands Across America" with all three of my small kidlets along Pacific Coast Hwy in Hermosa Beach!! And another PCH event that was really neat was when the Olympic torch came through at 2am and was heading for Georgia...it was such a fun event!! Gosh, I wonder if my E of H will be around to experience the next PCH event to happen...I'm sure something will come by here again...LOL!
|
Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Monday, March 15, 2004 - 8:41 pm
Don't be jealous girls, but he gave ME a nightcrawler!!!!
|
|