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Stupid things you've done..

The TVClubHouse: Archives: 2004 January - Arpil: Stupid things you've done.. users admin

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Archive through March 01, 2004Mack25 03-01-04  8:51 am
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Archive through March 09, 2004Tabbyking25 03-09-04  12:35 pm
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Hootyhoot
Member

12-18-2001

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 12:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I love this thread, but we could almost have separate threads for "Dumb things I did when I was a kid" and "Dumb things I did today"! Nah, let's just tell all right here!

Azriel, I laughed so hard at your story. I pulled that put-it-on-the-roof trip with my pocketbook as I was leaving Boston for DC on the train, years ago. So, I lost my money, my glasses, my book for the trip, etc., as well as my composure! How could I be so dumb! When I got to the train station in DC, I had to get a stranger to read the phone book for me. At my friend's house in DC, I had to wear the au pair's extra pair of eyeglasses all week, which made me dizzy but at least I could read a little!

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 1:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Um, landi, if you haven't sent that one in to Reader's Digest for a quick $300, I would. That is a riot!

Zules, sounds like an episode out of that fairly recent TV Christmas story with the two boys--one of whom wanted a rifle for Christmas. Just like a kid to do that!

And Tabbycybermom, I think you have enough material to last TV writers for a whole series. Life with you must be hysterical!! Time to remind your RL family how lucky they are to have you--sure cuts down on the need for expensive Rx anti-depressants!

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 2:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh, and Purplecow, I would like to see an MRI of your brain. (Just a tad worried about you!! j/k, j/k!!)

Purplecow
Member

12-08-2003

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 7:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'm worried about me, too, Herkle.

Azriel
Member

08-01-2000

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 7:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ack April Jo! I had forgotten about that stupid moment already!

I got new hard lens contacts. I hadn't worn them in over 20 years. When I went and picked them up, they just handed them to me because I'd told them I wore them before, so I didn't get the standard new contact wearers demonstration on how to take them out.

I put them in when I got home and everything was fine till about an few hours later and they were really bugging me and I wanted to take them out.
No matter what I tried they wouldn't come out. I swear I used to just grab the corner of my eyelid and blink and they would come out. These contacts were glued in or something because they wouldn't budge!

By this time, my eye doctor's office was closed. I remembered I had a friend that used to use a little suction thing to take her's out. I'd seen them in Walmart before, but of course Walmart was out of them. I got my daughter to go to all the drug stores in town looking for them. Noone carried them or they were out.

By this time I was just crying because they hurt so bad (and feeling really STUPID because I couldn't get them out) My mom called my eye doctor at home. He was gone deer hunting. :-( My daughter called all the stores in the city closest to out town and then finally found a store that carried them. The store was about a 30 minute drive away and we jumped in the car.

When we were almost there my daughter's cell phone rang. It was my eye doctor. His wife had gotten a hold of him and told him about my problem. He asked me to come meet him at his office because he was afraid the contact might be shaped wrong and sticking to my eyeball. Sooooo, we drove all the way back to town. It was about 10pm by now.
I felt so incredibly stupid.

The doctor looked at my eyes and everything looked all right. He showed me how to get it out, but I still couldn't get it out! He gave me a couple of suction thingies and to this day I still have to use those to get my contacts out.

Cindori
Member

07-25-2003

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 1:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I was telling the story in chat last night about the mouse that broke my hand, so I thought I’d share it here, too. (Although I’m pretty sure I posted it somewhere around here before.) It IS one of the stupidest things I’ve done. Bear with me . . . I felt like writing today, so this is a little wordy!

On a warm summer’s evening, on a train bound for nowhere . . . no, wait, that’s The Gambler.

One January evening I was cooking Rice A Roni (which, by the way, I will no longer cook, since I’m convinced that it attracts mice), and dh had gone to the store for something or other. I was be-bopping around the kitchen, as I am wont to do, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye a flash of gray fur streaked from the cupboard to behind the stove. Keeping my composure at this point, I calmly reached and turned the burner off, then started to move the pan to a cool burner (since even while being attacked by mice I’d rather not burn my house down).

My plan was to leave the kitchen and wait for dh in the living room or somewhere else far away from the intruder, then insist dh go BACK to the store to get traps before I finished dinner. Oh, I forgot to mention, it was about 11:00 pm. Not the ideal time to go searching for mousetraps.

So, as I reached to put the pan on another burner, I saw a snout poke from around the side of the stove, followed by glowing red eyes. The evil creature looked up at me, bared his fangs and HISSED! Ok, not really. The mouse did come out from the other side of the stove, though. Not quite so calm anymore, I attempted to back away from the stove, turn, and flee from the kitchen.

Evidently I misjudged the distance I’d covered when I stepped back from the stove (which I understand happens when you step with both feet at the same time while springing into the air), because when I turned to see exactly how fast I could make it through two rooms and possibly out the front door, the back of my hand smacked on the swinging wooden door. I don’t recommend flailing when terrified. It’s painful.

My hand was only attached to the door for a split second, since I didn’t even stop at the agony of my crushed bones. I continued through the house and grabbed the cordless phone on my way up the stairs. Perhaps you think grabbing the phone is an odd choice, but remember, I was home alone.

If you’ve ever broken a bone you may be familiar with the sickening feeling that comes along with the rapid lowering of your blood pressure immediately preceding fainting. I can say that this particular instance was one of the quickest onsets of that sickening feeling that I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. THAT is why I grabbed the phone. I needed someone to know what happened when dh came home and I was unconscious.

I called my parents – of course. I was hurt, I needed my Momma. My mom answered the phone and I said, “I broke my hand.” No preamble. I think she must have screeched “What?!?” in reply, because my dad picked up the extension very quickly.

My dad told me to bend my fingers. No problem, except that when I bent them my middle finger bent toward my pinkie rather than toward my palm. And it hurt a heck of a lot. But my dad, helpful sort that he is, told me to go into the bathroom and run water over it, that I “probably just jammed it.” I tried to explain to him that I didn’t think digits usually turned blue and swollen when they were just jammed, but I did it anyway.

Since I was seeing green floating spots by this time, I refused to play at the sink anymore and flopped myself onto the bed. My mom and dad talked to me (and laughed at me) while I told them what had happened. They did keep me occupied enough to stay conscious until dh came home, though.

Dh came in the front door and eventually made his way upstairs to find me. I made him help me change clothes before we went to the emergency room, since I was wearing “home only” clothes that I didn’t want anyone to see me wearing. It was rather difficult for him to help me when he was alternately chuckling at and scolding me for not being more careful.

The emergency room was fun, I suppose. The doctor announced to us that the mouse won, my hand was broken in three places, right before he grabbed my fingers and tried to straighten them. Dh caught my other arm on the upswing trying to connect with the doc’s head.

So, they set it, and we went home, after stopping at the drugstore to fill a script and buy mousetraps. We caught the sucker in about ten minutes, though. He must have been hungry after all the exercise he got chasing me.

About a month after that they had to re-break my hand and put in a metal plate because it healed twisted. Stupid mouse.

The best part of the story is that right after I hit the door I had the presence of mind to remove my wedding ring. For that I’m grateful. Everything else about it just sucked.


Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 2:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LOL, Cindori! Great story!!!

mouse

Djgirl
Member

07-17-2002

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 2:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh Cindori - I feel for ya!

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 3:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Cindori you would not have been able to live in my old house. I used to have to get up in the middle of the night to round up the little suckers because my cat would play with them and wake me up. Yes....I said play with them. My hubby was never quick enough so it was left up to me. I'm not scared by them but lets face it, they are squirmy and I certainly jumped around a lot. :-)

Djgirl
Member

07-17-2002

Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 12:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Eek Spitfire!!!!

I'm sure that we have a mouse in our house somewhere because the cats have been acting funny lately, however... they don't do it when Tim's home! I get worried that I'm going to wake up with a little present on my pillow that I've taken to keeping the cats out of our room at night!

March
Member

10-02-2003

Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 1:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Cindori I feel for you.
We had to catch a mouse in our house this past weekend. DH laughed at me as I sat in the living room pointing out to him where the mouse was in the kitchen. It of course kept going behind the stove so DH pulled out the bottom drawer and we found half eaten pieces of the dogs food (I didn't tell the dog this). Thought great it's stealing food out of the dogs dish, if it started to bark I was going to be out of there.
Put out a trap hoping it was still hungry, and thankfully it was.


Cindori
Member

07-25-2003

Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 2:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'm scared to death of the little buggers.

After telling the story of breaking my hand while in chat, I had another mouse-capade that night!

I went to bed and read a book for awhile. Just about the time I was going to turn out the light and go to sleep, I heard an odd scratching noise coming from the vicinity of the stereo. I called one of the dogs to me, and when he walked past the stereo, the noise stopped. Big UGH. A mouse in MY BEDROOM. After about 10 minutes of standing in the middle of the bed trying to garner courage to walk out of the bedroom (since I had to pass the stereo to get to the door), I went downstairs.

I managed to get a trap set and put it in the doorway of the bedroom. (I was too chicken to push it close to the stereo.) I was SO proud of myself for setting the trap, though; I'd never set one before.

I called dh and told him I'd be sleeping on the couch and why, so he wouldn't come in, go upstairs, and trap his toe in the peanut butter. I also barricaded the stairs so the dogs wouldn't go up and set the trap off.

I settled in on the couch, turned out the lights and turned on the tv. I put it at a low volume so I could listen for the trap to snap.

Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw a shadow move from the side of the entertainment center. Before I could actually convince myself that it was just a shadow, the husky pounced in the general direction and started trying to dig her way behind the tv. Ack! I was flipping out. The dang thing followed me downstairs!

I sat in the middle of the couch and watched the dogs try their best to get behind the entertainment center for their furry snack. After 20 minutes or so the husky darted to the RIGHT of the entertainment center. The COUCH is to the right of the entertainment center. So then I was standing in the middle of the living room. I couldn't go to bed and I couldn't lay on the couch.

I went back upstairs and got the trap. I couldn't hear any more scratching/chewing coming from the stereo so I put the trap downstairs in the living room and myself and the dogs back upstairs in bed. All of this happened over about two hours. I was plenty tired by then.

Dh came home 10 minutes or so later and came upstairs to see why I was back in bed. I told him the story, he laughed at me.

He came back a little while after that to tell me we caught a mouse in the trap.

When I got up the next morning we had caught another one.

We now have four traps set but we haven't caught any since yesterday morning.

I swear they're trying to get me.

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 2:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
After reading about your trappings Cindori I realize that it's something we never did. As much as we know they are no good pests we never set a trap. The funny thing is I would run around chasing them with a winter glove on then when I did catch them I would run to the back door and pitch it as far down the hill as I could. Of course that is not very humane either so I'm not sure why DH never bought traps. Maybe he enjoyed watching me dance around screeching. :-)

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 4:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
it's really embarrassing to have relatives at your home for thanksgiving and also one mouse so brave that he came up the back panel of the hot oven (we were cooking an apple pie while we ate dinner) and sat and looked at us through a little square cut-out while holding onto the little bars of the vent on the backsplash of the stove. he looked like he was behind prison bars, because we have a black stove and the vent slats were, of course, black.
i think it took me about a month to get that one guy. sheesh!

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 4:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
spit, that reminds me of dh who wants to be humane, too...so he buys the mouse cube, where the mouse goes in but can't flap the door back open to get out. dh catches a mouse and releases it into a flushing toilet :-)
kids would not sit down to go potty for a week!





oh, wait. that was me.

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Friday, March 12, 2004 - 12:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Not sure this qualifies as "stupid"...but definitely not something I'd care to repeat any time soon!

Last night we had conferences. It was a slower night...after all, it's church night and the guys basketball team had their first playoff game over an hour away. I had spoken with a few parents but, after 20 minutes with no conferences, was getting bored. I wandered into the hallway, and my "next-door neighbor" /mentee was out there as well. We walked to another teacher's room across the hall, sat down on the chairs in the hall and began an intellectual discussion of foreshadowing, allusion and the Nietzsche philosophies presented in Crime and Punishment.

Ok...we planned our "drinks meeting" after conferences...what's your point?

As we're chatting, a parent whom we've all known for years walks by, makes an amusing comment and we laugh. When I laughed, I leaned forward (since I was sitting on the edge of the chair, this wasn't much of an adjustment) to put my elbows on my knees. That ever so slight movement combined with the inner combustions of laughter created the ideal physiologically environment for, well, shall we say, a small air leak.

It was the perfect poot.

Of course, my mentee, sitting within 6 inches of me, heard it and giggled. Growing up reading Emily Post has its lasting effects, so I immediately said, "Oops...EXCUSE ME!" That sent her into gales of laughter, although it was meant to be just a polite way of acknowledging my rather blatant breach of etiquette!

Throughout this "exchange" the parent didn't hear anything (we were laughing after all, and we both laugh rather loudly), so when my mentee reached near hysterics, he gave us a funny look and walked on.

Now, before explaining how this insignificant poot has reached the point where the ENTIRE staff knows, I feel the need to point out...this was NOT an odiferous breach of air space. THANK GOD! LOL My mentee had a harder time handling my expression of pardon than the actual occurrence of flatulence. It took her a full five minutes to stop laughing!

To give a bit of the "Cliff Notes" version of the following couple of hours...let's just outline the salient points
1. Seven of us went out for drinks
2. My last conference went long, so I arrived after everyone else
3. By the time I had arrived, my mentee had told the entire story
4. I was, upon arrival, greeted with the question..."Did you make a mess in your pants?"

Being the rather obnoxious, hard to embarrass person that I am, I responded with the truth..."Couldn't...I wasn't wearing any!"

Fast forward to today. We had a half day with conferences in the afternoon, so we celebrated our staff "No Sweat Decathlon" ending with a banquet in the library. It's an annual event and our "Commishes" hand out silly prizes, ribbons, etc. Now remember...at this point, to my knowledge, only 7 people on the staff know that I'm not the model of decorum.

The first prize of the day was awarded to yours truly. It was a whoopee cushion! A comment was made about "being full of gas" and a teacher saying, "Maybe this will help you!" Of course, the other 45 people on staff then wanted to know what in the blazes was going on as 7 of us are ROTFLO(our)AO and no one else has a clue. Not wanting to "toot my own horn" yet again, I let my mentee tell the story. And she told the WHOLE story...lack of undergarments and all!

So....I am now the "infamous" pooter of the high school!

(P.S. For the 12 years I've worked in the district, I don't think anyone has ever even heard me burp, let alone toot...so, they'll be gettin' a LOT of mileage out of this one!)

Cindori
Member

07-25-2003

Friday, March 12, 2004 - 8:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Teach, I would have been mortified!!! I SO don't deal well with perfectly normal bodily functions.

Reader234
Member

08-13-2000

Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 3:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I've come to tattle on dh!!

DS is working towards earning his Eagle Award in Boy Scouting. One of the steps is to figure out a huge project benifiting a not for profit place (schools, churches, forest preserves...) after much discussion, meetings with various important people Ryan decided to build a "fence" at the forest preserve to keep the horses on the trail (and the people...) many stray off the beaten path, destroying native fauna... NEXT, he has to go before the adults of the troop for their approval. Not an easy task when one jerk bleepity bleep ... *sigh, and with much discussion (grilling!) it was approved by the commitee... Now to work on your Eagle you are given a packet to record all pertinent information, including signatures of the project Ranger, then the Troop Comittee, then the ScoutMaster(dh in this case!)...
THEN he makes an appoitment to meet with the DIstrict Eagle Board to review the project, and approve it, and get HIS signature.. THAT was today! And the Reviewer came out LOL, saying, well in "theory" I approve the project, but I cant sign off on it... THE SCOUTMASTER didnt sign the form, and he HAS to sign it first!! (yes he was LOL knowing dh was the scoutmaster in question~!)

So I call the Scoutmaster, who is training other men to BE scoutmasters... and leave a mean message... THIS mom is VERY upset with the SCOUTMASTER.... found out later, it rang right at the WRONG time of his presentation!! Then when he heard what he had done, he decided to "fess" up to the new recruits to learn from HIS mistake!!

sheesh... luckily dh is well liked, and he knows the reviewer, so dh can sign the form and drive it over to the man's house for the signature, so DS can proceed, and not have to wait another month!!

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 10:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Cindori -- after teaching HS kids for 12 years, I've learned 2 things...

1. Keep lysol spray nearby or a plug in plugged in
2. Laugh at yourself before they do...although this usually applies to the kids, it definitely applied to the adults in this case! :-)

I was "commended" by at least 3 people on my "sense of humor" the next day. What else can I do? Cry over "loosed poots"? LOL

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 11:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
teach, maybe you can confine your gascapades to the 'puter lab! :-)

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 12:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
right now, i have done a stupid thing. i made silver legacy's pan roast for dinner. we ate early, maybe 3:30...so i got hungry a short time ago. now i have to stay up for a couple of hours so i don't get acid indigestion from the spicy leftovers....:-)
if you don't know what silver legacy's pan roast is you can google it. man, is it good. and man, do i use the hottest cocktail sauce and extra tabasco when i make it.
i hope "war and peace" is on tonight. i'll be up!

Sunrvrose
Member

08-13-2001

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 3:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Since I am sufferng from advanced CRS disease, I could swear I told this story before, but don't see it. So, I'll tell it again. :-)

My sister came to visit me the day I came home from the hospital after giving birth to dd. I was very tiny before pregnancy, like 5'6" and 100 lbs. I didn't go into maternity clothes till my 7th month. So, when sis came to visit, I was complaining that I couldn't wear any of my clothes. Couldn't get into the size 5's pre birth and the maternity clothes were way too big.

So my sis said, "Let's go buy you some pants that will fit." There was a department store just a few blocks away. I said that was a great idea, so off we go to the store.

We are walking up and down the isles looking for clothes I could wear.

Turns out that the ladies dept is right next to the infant/toddlers dept. I am walking around the ladies dept, spot the infants dept and think to myself, I should look for something for the baby. At Which Point I shreek..."The BABY", OMG, we left the baby home.

I am shreeking like a banchee, my sis hears me, comes over and asks what's wrong, and I say, WE LEFT THE BABY HOME, ALONE!

We bolted from the store, drove home as fast as was possible, and found the baby, just as we had left her, sleeping in her bed.

I actually forgot that I had a baby.

Landi
Member

07-29-2002

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 11:12 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
right now i feel really stupid, i googled "crs disease" thinking, "i haven't heard of that one - wonder if it's like FM or crohn's or something". good one on me sunrvrose!

Hootyhoot
Member

12-18-2001

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 2:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh Sun, I can sympathize with you! When I had my first child, I went to visit an old high school friend one day. The baby was asleep when I got there so I left him in the car (in the driveway, within sight of the kitchen door ...). We talked and talked and talked ... and when I remembered I had a child, it was truly a horrific moment! I was lucky (like you!) that he slept peacefully through the whole episode.

Actually, he's 43 now, and I of course am older than that! ... and I complain all the time about my forgetfulness ... but maybe I've always been that way!



Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 2:26 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
i recall jimmy stewart being interviewed by dick cavett or merv griffin many years ago. he said the day his wife and baby were coming home from the hospital he got up early, arranged a diaper service, went grocery shopping, straightened up the house, went to a florists....then went home, ate dinner and was getting ready for bed when the hospital called and a nurse said, "sir, you forgot to pick up your wife and baby!"

Reader234
Member

08-13-2000

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 2:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
OK, how many of you are like me and think of teach when one hears/does that particular body function!!

LOL at the baby story... dh and I went to help a coworker move, wife had a baby less than a week when they moved in, they were going to feed all of us sloppy joes, but she forgot the buns, so her and her sis went out shopping, leaving the baby... an hour goes by, baby wakes up, baby is nursing, dad was beside himself, its now been over 2 hours, and no sign of mom... my milk was readily availble, and I was going to offer my services as wet mom (how does one do that anyway?) lots of looks at me, than at the door, I finally get brave enough to ask to hold the baby, a relieved daddy hands baby over... and I walk, towards the baby's room, (baby stopped crying) and low and behold a screaming momma came running in the door, sobbing, "I forgot I had a baby"

LOL (dh and I did not stay for dinner, I thought it time to run...!!)