Author |
Message |
Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Monday, April 12, 2004 - 7:56 pm
Hmmm....
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, April 12, 2004 - 8:00 pm
Zuzu Free E of H Now! Uh and Adven too if you get the time.
|
Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Monday, April 12, 2004 - 8:12 pm
Hey! Believe me, I am around looking for more worms myself! All this Purina Crab Chow is driving me to the poor house.
|
Littlec
Member
11-14-2003
| Monday, April 12, 2004 - 8:28 pm
Hey Adven, Where are you we have a real crab on our hands!! <I know that was bad>
|
Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 7:07 am
Sorry, all. Warren and I had a huge fight a few days ago. The stress of being perpetually happy was wearing on both of us. In the heat of the moment, he said some terrible things about my mother, that, although accurate, I found insulting. I responded in kind, but since worms reproduce asexually, I don't think it had the desired impact. Anyway, we had a couple of drinks, got maudlin, exchanged a few "I love you, man"'s and are now back in business. So: Today's E of H honoree is < clumsy intro to "Chopsticks" > Jan! Jan hails from the enormous province of Ontario, the New York Yankees of Canada. Her hobbies include phoning in bomb threats to get the day off and chanting. She hopes one day to separate from the rest of Canada and found her own nation of one. She already has the currency picked out.
|
Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 12:22 pm
EEEEEKKKK!!!!! I was out all day and came home to find an ugly crawly thing creeping around on my floor. Naturally I screamed and jumped up on a chair, waiting for someone to kill the slimey think for me. Then a lightbulb went off...there is noone but me here. If killing has to be done, I have to do it. I screwed up my courage , took a deep breath , grabbed the fly swatter and took a big swat. Needless, to say that didn't work. So next I jumped off the chair right onto the wriggly ugly thing. SQUASH I was so proud of myself. I actually managed to kill a big ugly slimey buggy thing all by myself without calling for help. 10 pats on the back I gave myself. To reward brave me, I logged on to get my daily fix of TVCH. HORROR of Horrors I quickly learned that, indeed Adven had not been kidnapped by the Iraqi Gorilla's as I had thought.I was sure that he and Warren had been done in because once the rebels had him, why would they give him up?? Once he started in on them they would be sure and cut his head off...I was sure of it. How was I to know he would return and bring Warren with him. It's not my fault! How was I to know???? Warren is entirelySQUASHED. I tried mouth to mouth (YUCK!!!!!!! but I did try) but I just couldn't figure out which end was the mouth . I am sorry . However was I to know. . Please forgive me...but it wasn't my fault. There was no way for me to know. Was there?? PS I have already formed my own country. The paperwork has been issued. The bribes have all been paid. The fix is in for me to get some of those $100 million grants they are giving out. I figured the Liberals have paid off everyone else in the country. Why not me too. 
|
Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 12:38 pm
I have had a visitation to console me in my vale of tears.
Warren has assured me that all is well with him. He is in Heaven and enjoying himself immensely.
I feel so much better now.
|
Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 2:35 pm
So...the worm is dead and Adven wasn't kidnapped. Guess I'll have to give back the big screen TV. Don't look at me like that. He wasn't going to need it if he was kidnapped! Sheesh... Oh, and seeing the worm was squashed by his latest (and last, it would seem,)host, our little excursion doesn't look so damn bad now, does it.
|
Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 2:52 pm
Well there's hope anyway. Since other EofH's have been killed or fed to the fishes, and other people have still received one, there must be backups.
|
Littlec
Member
11-14-2003
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 4:18 pm
Jujub went and ate the scraps of Warren and it made him sick and now there is something creeping around my folder. Maybe it's Warren?????
|
Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 4:37 pm
Warren's dead??? You killed him?? The horror!! The horror!! Oh, the wormanity!! You .. you .. WORM KILLER!!!
|
Hippyt
Member
09-10-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 5:16 pm
pooorrrr Warren...........
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 5:43 pm
<in my best southern minister drawl> Warren was a good worm! I, I said Warren was a good worm! <well!> Warren brought alot of smiles to Tvch'ers faces! <smiles!> And we know that Warren did this! I, I said we know that Warren did this!! <how?> Because one of our faithful sons who goes by the name of Adven! I, I said he goes by the name of Adven! <well!> See Adven made it his mission to share the joy that is Warren with a different Tvch'er each and every morning! <joy!> But! I, I said But! <but!> But there comes a time when even the joy that is Warren must go to meet our heavenly father! Keep up wit me now congregation. I, I said Warren's time had come! <hallelujah!> Whew ha'glory! Warren's time had come to meet our heavenly maker! <preach!> But he shall always be remembered! I, I said he shall always be remembered by us and the faithful Tvch'ers who's faces always smiled in his presence!! <remembered!> Let us all bow our heads and pray while Sista Jan leads us all in a hymn. <hmmmmmmm.....>
|
Hippyt
Member
09-10-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 5:46 pm
AMEN!!!!! SiSta!!!
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 5:49 pm

|
Grannyg
Member
05-28-2002
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 5:56 pm
That was hysterical Mocha!! Preach, Sista!
|
Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 6:30 pm
Thank You Sista! I needed that sermon to cleanse my soul and provide me with some sense of redemption. As you can see in my above post Warren is now an angel and, since they do, it seems, provide booze in worm heaven, Warren is very, very happy. So it isn't all bad. Now if you could all join me in some old time music. How about Swing Low, Sweet Chariot sing it with me now, brothers and sisters ETA: Littlec,methinks Juju is a goner. I don't think you can live after eating worms can you?..and, Jhezzie, if I were you , I would just keep the TV. How were you to know? Whoami, I can only hope some of Warren's offspring are available so Adven can continue this godly mission. Sigh
|
Lancecrossfire
Moderator
07-13-2000
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 9:16 pm
Expect a long letter from Little Jimmy very soon.
|
Littlec
Member
11-14-2003
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 9:35 pm
I'll post the obituary tomorrow.
|
Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 10:25 pm
I think so too, Jan. Besides, Idol is on tomorrow and it would be so much more fun to see it on this big-ass TV rather than my regular one. Oh, and The Shield is on tonight! Oh and Survivor and Friends and ER and THIRD WATCH!!! I wanna see Third Watch on a big ol' TV!
|
Heyltslori
Member
09-15-2001
| Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 7:18 am
ROFL Mocha! That cracked me up! 
|
Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 9:37 am
Amen, M. As you can imagine, this has been a difficult and sombre day for the entire Pieces family. Aunt Ifallto and little Reeses have been particularly hard hit. Cousin Puzzle just sits in the corner starting at the wall. Your sermon, however, M, has stiffened our resolve and we have collectively decided to honor Warren's legacy by continuing this solemn Crusade. We will observe a day of mourning for the various pieces of Warren and be back tomorrow. Warren's brother, Restin, has agreed to take his place.
|
Jhezzie
Member
07-05-2001
| Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 12:22 pm
I guess cousin Bitsin is still serving time for that pesky fraud conviction, huh?
|
Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 12:27 pm
"Restin" sounds like a perfect set-up for another "RIP".
|
Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 1:25 pm
LOL Jhez and Rosie! Adven, once again, I can only convey my heartfelt apologies to you and the entire Pieces family. I have spent the entire day on my knees (well all day except for the last 4 hours when I was out having a delicious lunch with friends and walking and shopping and this evening when I will be out drinking beer with said friends and those hours I spent on line or sleeping in this AM..but all the other hours..) and plan to go to confession this evening to beg forgiveness (that is if I get home in time from the pub..how late do you think the Priest stays in the confessional??). Thanks to Restin for agreeing to carry on. I will understand if none of the Pieces family agrees to ever again visit my humble abode. 
|
|