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Archive through January 21, 2004

The TVClubHouse: Archives: 2004 January - Arpil: Flirting impaired: Archive through January 21, 2004 users admin

Author Message
Missy2

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I work with a lot of goodlooking guys, and I feel like I'm totally asexual. How do you flirt? I really don't know how? AND is it a big no no to flirt with co-workers?

:)

Tishala

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"Accidentally" throw your skirt up over your butt and/or lick your fingers slowly.

I tend not to flirt with colleagues. Messy, messy!

Sweetbabygirl

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
<wondering if Tishy is drunk, AGAIN!>....LOL!!

Missy, all you have to do is be yourself....I'm sure that is easier said than done, but it really isn't that difficult. I love men, and it shows in my attitude towards them.

Eliz87

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Or, lick your lips with the tip of your tongue while pointing directly to your "female" areas. This technique works quickly. *JUST KIDDING* (Please don't mod me -- I was just making a futile attempt to be funny.)

Anyway, seriously, just be friendly and be yourself. Smile a lot but no so much that you come off as goofy or something. If someone tries to make conversation with you, don't talk about yourself too much. Men love to talk about themselves.

Of course, since you are in a workplace, dress neatly and appropriately and always act professionally. Treat yourself and others with respect. Always. You'll be fine.

Heyltslori

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:26 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
ELIZ!!!!!

Texannie

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Look the guy right in the eyes when you talk to him and slightly lean your body towards him. Touch his arm lightly when you are talking to him. Smile, be interested in what he has to say.

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I can't caution you enough against flirting with co-workers. It will whiz-off the other females you work with, get you an unwanted (and likely unfair) reputation and potentially create uncomfortable or intolerable relationships within your work environment.

Having said that, the way you flirt with men is to show a genuine interest in them - ask them about themselves or their personal interests, and show you're paying attention by asking questions based on what they tell you. I mean, within reason - if their passionate hobby is shooting deer and dressing them, do you really want to flirt with that person? But if you find an area of common interest or their interests are something you'd like to become more interested in, then the conversation just takes off. And if they're someone worth flirting with, they will (sooner rather than later) start asking you similar questions about yourself.

More than that, you need to pay attention to the signals you are sending. Take care of yourself to the extent that you feel very good about yourself. Do your hair, makeup and wear nice clothing for work. Guys respond to women who care about and are confident in their appearance (this doesn't AT ALL mean you have to have supermodel looks - quite the contrary. Less than supermodel looks makes you much more approachable. But being even somewhat unkempt or feeling poorly about yourself is something they actually pick up on). Take up some independent hobby that makes you happy and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with guys - the less you need them, the more they want you. Having well-tended to fingernails seems to be an issue with alot of guys - they want them filed and polished. I don't know why.

I guess what I'm saying is, you send out the "I've got it together" signals, and the guys will come and flirt with you. You won't even have to worry about it.

And if that doesn't work, throw your skirt up over your head accidently. Or do what my sister did - fall down a flight of stairs in a skirt and expose to the world (accidentally) that you're only wearing a thong underneath. Make sure you're hurt a little bit so the guys can get a closer look at your thong. Only don't do it in a Muslim country like she did - that kind of thing can land you in jail, start a jihad or touch off an international incident.

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LOL, GAL
i'll make sure to fall down wearing a thong on american soil! first i'll have to buy a thong...cause i don't think you mean flip flops, or you would have used the plural thongs. ehehehee!
i agree about not getting involved with anyone from work. someone always ends up out of a job when the relationship goes south...or ends up out of a job if the relationship leads to the altar! many places of employment will not let couples work in the same department, sometimes not even for the same company.
whenever you flirt, well i only flirted with someone i was already dating. just be yourself. if you aren't a flirty type, don't start. if you don't read massive novels by 18th century authors, don't pretend you do. if you can't cook, admit it. if you try to be someone you aren't, you will have to be this fake person forever or get caught at it!
i had a friend who always wanted to play stewardesses or department heads of prestigious colleges, etc., when she and i went to nightclubs. she thought it was all in fun. and whatever she said SHE was, i supposedly was, too...i would come back from the bathroom and have a guy tell me 'naughty, naughty! you are a pilot and you are flying to england tomorrow morning!' sheesh...
and the worst part was if a guy and i hit it off and he wanted to make a date--i had to either continue to fake it or come clean and did the guy like me because i supposedly spoke 7 languages (huh!) and was a green beret, or for another reason!
i just quit going anywhere with the gal. she just couldn't get past the make-believe!
i always hoped to heaven someone didn't pass on misinformation such as the TWA lady pilots fly only 6 hours after drinking 3 irish coffees!

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Heh, Tabby - I had a friend who insisted on telling men I sell No. 2 pencils for a living. I felt sorry for the guys trying to find a way to flirt over that subject.

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
oh, and seeing you are from MA makes me want to warn you even more!! i worked for 3 dentists in the newton area. one was recently divorced before i started working in the office. he kept asking me out. when i went to the other dentists about him, they called a meeting. imagine my surprise when they accused me of coming on to the dentist and patients, too! (i had moved to brookline to be with my boyfriend). the dentist who had been coming on to me just smirked and said, "i think she developed her full potential the first week she was here, anyway." another said, "she came on to me, but i didn't want to say anything."
this other dentist (married for the 3rd or 4th time, and seen on t.v. many times, including 20/20) would show me victoria's secret catalogs and say, "if i buy this would you wear it for me?" or have me file something in a bottom drawer and then try to rub against me. or he would say, "unbutton one more button and then lean over and pick something up". i left that office as soon as possible!
things can get horribly twisted if you try to make a complaint. i had no idea things would be turned on me.

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
jeez, GAL...that's the most boring pencil there is. so common.....LOL

Karuuna

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I agree with GAL. Okay, except for the last paragraph.

Maris

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I say it is a big no no to flirt in the work environment. What happens if you start getting attention from someone you are NOT interested in? Does that become harrassment??? dangerous ground............. Of course, working in a flirting environment is a misdemeanor. Either way not a good idea.

Mocha

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I wouldn't flirt with my co-workers, too much drama.

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
righto, maris.
just watch the 'laura black' movie where she could not get the co-worker (richard someone) to leave her alone. and they never even dated once--just went to lunch her first day on the job, with a group of people. the relationship was all in his mind, but he slashed her tires, sent her gifts at her folks when she went home for christmas, would find her new addresses even when she moved to gated communities, etc. after he was fired, he killed 6 or 7 people.
okay, that's an extreme. but it scared me. here's a link to part of her court doc's...

http://flag.blackened.net/daver/misc/lb/

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 3:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
ruh roh, tabby kills another thread. sorry!

Costacat

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 4:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I would never EVER flirt with anyone I work with. There's just too much danger there... and it's fraught with complications. I'm naturally the flirtatious type, and it took me a lotta years to learn to tone it down in the workplace. Way too many complications...

Then again, I've never thought about throwing my skirt up over my head, or falling down so I could expose my thong (making sure, of course, that I was wearing the diamond accented ones that are so pretty!)! <wink>

Missy2

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 4:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
hehe - loved reading all of your posts! I've decided NO on flirting at work. But I will admire goodlooking co-workers who have great assets. :)

Maybe I'm just not a flirter. I will definitely use the advice here, but I will use it OUTSIDE of the workplace - ;)

Denecee

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 4:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
You guys had me lauging so hard I about peed my pants!

Missy2

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 4:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh my goodness. I broke up with my ex 3 years ago, before that I was in a lacking relationship for 7 years (by the way I'm 28). Anyway, I've never been a date before, let alone flirted or whatever.

Anyway, to get to the point.... this is too funny. The guy that works at the temp agency that I used to work for just asked me out! I'm not interested, but I'm not sure what to say!

Can you believe it? I mention this topic and I actually have a person ask me out. I need to take communication 101. I get along really well with him, but thats it.

I think the reason why I get along so well with him is because I'm NOT interested. I act like a piece of cardboard with guys I am interested in.

Ketchuplover

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
If anyone wants to flirt with me a good start would be to SEND ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY AND ANY MONEY MADE FROM THE SALE OF YOUR POSSESSIONS IMMEDIATELY.

Thank you :)

Landi

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
will it hurt to go on a date? as you said you don't have alot of experience dating. this will give you more experience dating. not each and every date is "marriage-material" and shouldn't be looked at as such. just go. have fun!

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
i don't know. if she's 'not interested' and they aren't going out with a group of people just for fun, i would skip it. just my personal feeling.

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
however, if you could make it clear that it would be as friends, and you could do things you both enjoy, there is nothing wrong with having a best friend of the opposite sex. (except that i found out years later, the person i thought was just my 'best friend and my good buddy' really had a crush on me the whole time...and it hurt him to see me leave on dates or tell him of our exploits. we shared a house and i thought it was totally platonic. after all, i had known him since i was 9 and he was 8. i just didn't know he had had a crush on me all those years!)
sometimes, it's just best not to start something.
when i lived in the bronx from 1974 thru 1977, the 'son of sam' was out there and shooting/killing couples. i have just always been very careful. i remember not dating anyone i didn't already know, never being on the street alone at night, not sitting in the car to talk when a friend--male or female--got me home.

Colossus

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I used to like Ketchup.! Pass the mustard please.

TabbyKg; Sorry it took you so long to see the inside of your friend. It happens all the time. It's called innocence.