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Archive through April 07, 2004

The TVClubHouse: Archives: 2004 January - Arpil: Right Now (ARCHIVES): Archive through April 07, 2004 users admin

Author Message
Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
ah well, I appear to be in the minority then. Not such an unusual place for me to be.

Seems to me that public generalized comments also make people take sides. Except no one really knows precisely what they are taking sides about. Who, perhaps you're right, the whole thing should have been handled privately, right from the start. Wait, that was part of my point too. :-)

I personally have found that posting to specific incidents has worked out just fine. Most folks deal with upfront and clear specifics better than they do vague accusations of wrongdoing.

Guess all I was trying to say, in my own clumsy and apparently inept and solitary way, is that it just seems painful to me that on the one hand we have hurt feelings being caused by the lumping together of men, as if they are all one amorphous body. And the other, we have the generalized lumping together of some female posters, as if they are one amorphous body. In both cases, perhaps being specific to one man, or one poster, would have spared the hurt and confused feelings of those who weren't really involved. Ultimately, I guess I don't understand why one kind of generalized accusation is okay, while another is not, but maybe I'm just dense that way.

So I do think I know how Weinermr feels, all that lumping into a group you feel no affinity with is hurtful.

That's all I'm sayin'.... and right now I'll go back to my little hole and keep my alien opinions to my offensive little self.


Egbok
Member

07-13-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Karuuna, although I didn't express it sooner, I too feel that Weinermr should have gone directly to the source as opposed to expressing a generalization in this thread for all to read.

IMHO, his words only caused reactions of either "poor Weinermr", "I'm sorry Weinermr", or ""Huh??, I'm confused", and all are reactions that do not solve his concern of male bashing issues.

So I'll join you in the minority category but I'm not joining you in your little hole.


Spygirl
Member

04-23-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now, I appreciate the discussion that has gone on here today.

It is a theme that has appeared on this board at various times in the last several years...one that is not too surprising considering we are about 85% (or more) female. The unbalance is even greater when you factor in the number of men and women who regularly participate in discussions on a regular basis. It may be more like 95% female, 5% male.

Anyone who knows me and knows my history with this topic knows that I do not advocate genderism in any form and I either avoid those discussions or have (in the past) tried to re-route some discussions (however successfully or unsuccessfully). I probably err on the side of men, actually, and allow more female bashing than some women.

Unfortunately, I have spent the entire day fearful that a comment I made was misinterpreted as genderism and that comment hurt a friend. It is also possible (as has been the case before - very recently) that I am not in any way involved...but how would I know? That has been my concern today. It is an upsetting feeling, particularly when I know my intent with my post and I know what I meant - even if I didn't explain it well.

Whoami, though your suggestion about these issues being addressed privately is a good idea, it wasn't broached privately, so openly is how I felt I needed to respond.

It seems this discussion is creating a war of taking sides that I'm not sure was originally intended. And to be honest, I'm not sure what the sides are...???

I may go find that same hole where Karuuna is and hole up there with her because I continue to feel confused...and a little sad.


Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hey Tabby - did you get your keyboard dried out yet?

And, are you sharing any of that chocolate bunny? I am getting hungry.

Hippyt
Member

09-10-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I agree Spy. It's been bothering me all day that so many people are upset about this,yet we don't even really know what we are upset about.

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
That is why we keep trying to change the subject.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now... I find that posting specific incidents out in the open puts people on the defensive and they respond in kind. I've seen it happen here and it never goes well. Also all anyone has to do is re-read Weinermr's post and actually listen to the words to understand what he's saying. Also it seems that in another area where someone broached someone privately it was made public. So there ya go.

Egbok
Member

07-13-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ya know Tabby, when you eat the ears off of your chocolate bunny, she/he can't hear anymore...

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Tabby - do you have any with marshmellows in them?

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 4:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now, it looks like there are no safe places to vent and release frustration.........guess, I will have to go back to taking it out on my kids. Well, there is an upside after all!

Mak1
Member

08-12-2002

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 5:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now, I have an inexplicable craving for a chocolate bunny!

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 5:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Thank you all for your posts, whether you agree with me or not. Well, especially those that agreed with me . Okay, just kidding. Anyone is welcome in my hole. Or not, if you don't want to come hide out with me.

There's no doubt that some kinds of male bashing appear here. And because it happens regularly, i think it's a discussion that needs to happen periodically. I think there's value in discussing things openly. We may not get it all resolved, or all fixed, but I think growth occurs, even if sometimes that growth is painful.

I'm not sure what the sides are either. But that's why I continue to be an advocate of the direct approach. I think there is a greater chance for growth and resolution when people are direct. I also realize that can be extremely difficult and painful as well.

Mocha, I believe that the incident you are referring to was removed from the board, it's not there now, which I think was the right thing to do. Personally, as many of you have seen (and would probably rather never see again!), I don't have a problem with addressing specific issues publicly either. I guess the one good thing about that is that no one ever has to guess what my position is on an issue.

At any rate, I've more than said my piece here. So right now I'm going to have to eat my son's chocolate bunny out of his Easter basket to console myself, and then try to remember to replace it before Sunday....

Hippyt
Member

09-10-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 5:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
ouch Mocha gotcha........

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 5:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well now Tabby has all hungry for chocolate. Oh Tabby - aren't you gonna share?????

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 6:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
right now, i am not sure where any of the 'taking sides' stuff is coming from.....so let's not make this any bigger than it is:-) merely a discussion.

i do have one large solid chocolate gopher if anyone wants a big bite of it!

golf was fun. dd is such a delight to go out with.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 7:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now I am glad that no one here for sure knows my gender. <sits firmly on tail>

But I do publicly apologize for the ruthless attitude I have taken towards worms.



Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 7:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
right now, i think most tvcher's are of "2 sexes, 3 at the most". i stole that line from my manuscript of serving on a grand jury.

Sillycalimomma
Member

11-13-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 7:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now I came online to catch up on the board after a very long day,but I am more tired now then I was before venturing in! Lol.....
Right now I just want to wave a big hello to everyone and hope things get brighter around here soon! I sure miss spending my mornings yackin with you all!

Colossus
Member

10-04-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 8:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Spy; Any new breach of threshold is dangerous. I believe most of us old guys call it growing a little. It's good you are able to rationalize it right off. Fear not the opinions of others; Work on the opinion of yourself.

If a subject is brought up in public you have the right to respond likewise. If you so choose.

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 8:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I understand the points taken here. I agree a public response is warranted to a subject brought up in public. My previous post was mostly about being concerned that individual people would be called out.

I was called out not long ago, because someone interpreted a post I'd made different than what I'd intended. I felt physically sick that I'd offended someone, even though I'd never even read a post by that person up till that point. But, I suppose a private vs public handling of that situation wouldn't have changed how badly I felt at the time.

At any rate, I'm tired. I'm sad. And Right Now I really don't feel like I belong in this thread.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 9:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now, I want to say that it's okay to feel a little sad sometimes. it's part of life. and it passes. I'm glad I can feel deeply enough to be sad sometimes. There was a time in my life that I couldn't.

And I still think the discussion was a good one, if difficult at times. The trick for me is to keep it in perspective. it's a discussion. Different views, different opinions, different sides even. But just because I take a different "side" doesn't make I don't like the folks on the other 'side'. it's just a discussion.

I'm okay, you're okay, or we all suck. it's all good. :-)

and right now I'm looking rather suspiciously at Juju, the worm torturer. Oh wait, I've done a little of that myself.

Colossus
Member

10-04-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 9:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Who;
Look deeply at the person there; THAT IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO NEEDS AN EXPLAINATION. If it takes a bit to find it, So be it. Never apologize for being yourself. YOU are the ONLY person who can "Be yourself." So Just Be yourself. No ID required.

Colossus
Member

10-04-2003

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 9:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Anyway; What Karuuna says is gold.!

Spygirl
Member

04-23-2001

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 9:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now I have to say...Colossus, I love you man!

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 9:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Right now, Spy, I gotta agree with ya there. He sure is loveable.

and I'm easily bought thru flattery or guilt... take your pick