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How to stop my 5 year old from steali...

The TVClubHouse: Archives: 2004 January - Arpil: How to stop my 5 year old from stealing!!! Help users admin

Author Message
Ednpatty
Member

01-21-2004

Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 7:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Help!!! My usually pretty good almost five year old has started stealing toys. I caught him the other day on the way to a birthday party with a toy from school in his pocket. We drop off the present and returned to school where after many tears he told his teacher he had taken it and he was sorry. I thought boy am I a good mom I did the right thing he missed the party and returned it all will be well. The very next day he came home from a friends house where he had been playing with another toy in his pocket. I once again made him take it back. He says he did not remember the day before with his teacher. We have taken away his toys and I even made him write I will not steal about 10 times which was alot when you are just learning to write. But I do not feel like it has sunk in. So please help.

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 8:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Does he even understand the concept of stealing? He may be too young to even understand that. Until then just check his person before leaving school, friends house etc. Sit down and explain "his" toys and "others" toys. And "others" toys are not "his" to take.



Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 8:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Something is missing in his life and he is trying to replace it.

We as parents teach kids that they are owed things...such as the tooth fairy game. Loose a tooth, gain some money.

Loose a friend/fight/situation at home, replace it with something.

He is a good kid and you are a good parent. This runs deeper than you think.

Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 8:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I would say don't sweat it. My son was super kleptomaniac. He was stealing crayons galore from his day care when he had a ton of them at home. I didnt punish him other than to tell him it was wrong to take what wasnt his and he had to return it. Just making him return it, and say he is sorry is enough. he will grow out of it. My son did it at around four and it lasted no more than a few months.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 8:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Taking things is not unusual at age four. Kids at that age are still generally self-centered, and if they want something they just take it. They don't really comprehend how it makes someone else feel.

And remember that your job as a parent is not necessarily to correct something one time and expect that to stick forever. You wouldn't expect him to learn his ABC's after reciting them one time, and he won't learn the concept of ownership after one incident either. Funny how we take for granted that kids have to repeat other things over and over and over; but somehow we think moral lessons they should just get after we tell 'em one time.

Try not to be overly dramatic about it, if you get really upset, the lesson is less likely to sink in than if you are just patient and very very firm. Be consistent and repetitive. Like repeating the alphabet over and over again, he needs to learn over and over again that some things belong to other people, and he can't just take them just because he wants them.

Good luck and don't panic. It's normal behavior at this age. Nothing wrong with having a normal kid. :-)

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 8:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
If he was older, I would worry about some great deep meaning, but like Karuna, I agree, while unacceptable, it's normal.
There is still alot of wish thinking at that age. (I wish it was mine so it is) Just keep reinforcing the message that it's wrong. Have him return it and be consistant.

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 9:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
http://www.learnwhatsup.com/prc/health/steal.html

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 9:23 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
http://www.cyh.com/cyh/parentopics/usr_index0.stm?topic_id=128

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 9:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Dees, thanks for posting those websites: I agree with them, especially:


quote:

Under seven years stealing is sometimes part of a learning about "me" and "mine".
<snip>
By nine or ten children have usually learned about right and wrong and if they steal it is for other reasons.




Unless there is really something else going wildly wrong in the family, it's best to start with the simplest explanation. All kids need to learn this, and it takes time and repetition to teach it. And a lack of panic about it. :-)

Ednpatty
Member

01-21-2004

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 10:23 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Thanks so much for all the information. I think I just kind of freaked because it was the first thing that he did that I saw as being majorly wrong and that we needed to fix or he could end up in jail. I know now that it is pretty normal. I think I will start by casually asking him if he has anything when we leave school and friends house and reinforce that somethings are ours and somethings belong to others. We need to ask if we want to borrow things or if ask for thing if we want to purchase them. Thanks everyone.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 11:28 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, the little felon, I mean fellow, got his toys back, right?



Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 8:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I believe that a child's age is important to consider. I am sure that my three year old will go through this since she is an only child and everything is "hers".

I didn't mean to make it sound so serious in my first post, I was in a hurry at the time.

Ednpatty
Member

01-21-2004

Monday, April 19, 2004 - 8:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The felon did get his toys back today :-)

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 2:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Juju, you are too funny, worrying about wether or not he got his toys back!

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 8:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Yeah, well, Denecee, I was afraid I was gonna have to make an emergency run with some icky old chew toys or something.