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Today's School System

The TVClubHouse: Archives: 2004 January - Arpil: Today's School System users admin

Author Message
Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 4:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
On the news tonight I watched:

A kid getting beat up on the bus by his classmates.

Two kids arrested for vandalizing their school.

A kid pressing charges against a school guard for biting him. (the guard bit the kid)

How am I ever to send my child to any school I wonder?

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 9:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
You have to be a diligent parent. (IMO)

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 9:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Believe me...MOST schools are not like that! It depends so much on your location and the background checking you do before hand.

I have spent the past 12 years teaching in a high school, and we have not had any beatings OR biting (although upon occasion I'd like to whop a parent upside the head! LOL).

Before sending your child anywhere, speak to the principal, the teacher AND parents who have had one or two kids (preferrably ones that AREN'T angels) to see how they handle bullying, taunting, disrespect, etc. We have 4 elemenetaries in our district and they all have different strengths and weaknesses. Even as a teacher in the district, I did MAJOR checking before making my decision.

Trust me...most of us (teachers and administrators) are doing our best to provide a safe, caring environment where students will learn to be civilized, educated and well rounded members in their community!

PS...STAY INVOLVED! I wish more of my HS students had parents who would email or call to "check up" on daily items. I have too many kids to call all their parents, but I always call back or respond if they contact me. I also try to send home brief letters or progress reports every 4 - 5 weeks.

Once a week or once every couple weeks a call from a parent helps the student, the teacher and the parent with communicating any problems and enables them to celebrate the successes!

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 9:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
That's why I said be diligent. I think being involved in every aspect of school is a very large part of it!!
Our child has a steno pad which goes back and forth from home to school her. I have to sign it every night after reviewing homework. Her homework is listed there. I can post messages to the teacher, too.



Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Friday, February 20, 2004 - 6:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The school with these problems is an hour away. Still, I have heard rumors of situations in the middle school here as well. Our elementary school is graded A and seems fine. How come that doesn't carry over to the next grades?



Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, February 20, 2004 - 6:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Think about what age the kids are in middle school..not an excuse, but you do have different issues.
I agree with everyone else, be diligint, be involved. I live in a huge city with 5 different school districts in the immediate area. Some have some terrible problems in the whole district, some just within certain school. To write off the whole public school system would be ridiculous.

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Friday, February 20, 2004 - 8:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Yes, I do intend to be very involved in Cassie's school life.

I have a friend in another state who teaches middle school and she hates it. She says the kids are impossible and she is looking into another career. She has been called fat among other things by students. I do believe she is a good teacher but I guess I wouldn't really know.



Carrie92
Member

09-15-2003

Friday, February 20, 2004 - 11:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I know what you mean Dee. It scares me too, my son is 6.

We have had one incident with him, back in September a kid bit him on the bus. We were in the principals office the next day - and she got that kid out of class and made him come and apologize to Scotty and to us as well, and he doesn't get to ride the bus anymore (it wasn't the first incident with that kid).

I agree with everyone that the more involved you are the better. We've been to every conference, every class party, etc. I think the more the school and students see you around the less problems you are likely to have.

I hope that any potential bullies will stay away from my kid because they will have seen me at school so many times.

It's so unfortunate that other kids' parents are so uninvolved. Those tend to be the troublemakers too.

Cas0496
Member

11-20-2003

Friday, February 20, 2004 - 1:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Move to Canada...

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Friday, February 20, 2004 - 1:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
My grandmother-in-law lives in Canada and she has two sons. One of them is very successful and educated. The other dropped out of school but managed to be successful after moving to the states. What is the situation with Canadian schools, educate me please!

Earthmother
Member

07-14-2002

Wednesday, February 25, 2004 - 12:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I teach Middle School and love it. I think if you are afraid of these kids or you sweat the small stuff an adolescent does then you totally overreact when the situation doesn't call for it. This is why when something really bad happens no one knows how to handle it.

When a student wears their heart on their sleeve it's a clear target for the bully. (pretend you don't care what they say, or laugh and say "thanks for sharing") The bully is looking for a reaction wheather it be anger or fear, without it they will move on.

Do not expect the school or the bully's parents to be much help in curtailing his/her behavior. A child does not become a bully or gang member in one day..it's a process. I'm sure this kid's parents have been hearing it for a long time and either model this poor behavior or ignore it. The administration of this kid's school can only do so much also. Most of the time you hear about what is going on before the principal does because no one wants to snitch.

The best way to help your child prepare for social interaction in middle school is to teach them how to react to the bully. All the punishment in the world is not going to change a bully, it only pisses them off more and gives them a purpose to come after the kid who snitched.

Unfortunately it takes a lot of documentation to get a kid kicked out of school. "He threatened me" is not going to do it. So the torment goes on until the victim steps up and says "I'm not going to take it anymore." I don't advise fighting with the bully nor do I think it's a good idea to get into a verbal battle with them, just a curt "thanks for sharing" ususally does the trick. For the most part these bullies have low self-esteem and have probably spent very little time getting educated therefore it will take him a while to even figure out he was dissed, but the other kids will know and he/she will soon lose any credibility with other students because the fear factor will be gone.

Advise your child that if they see something or hear of something going down that doesn't seem right...GET FAR AWAY FROM IT QUICKLY!! do not just stand there and watch or wait to see what might happen.



Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Wednesday, February 25, 2004 - 2:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Earthmother, what else can I do to teach my child to stand up to a bully without fighting?

I was told that she should tell the bully that she doesn't like whatever behavior is happening in a firm voice and say that she wants it to stop.

I don't see that really working, but would it?

Earthmother
Member

07-14-2002

Thursday, February 26, 2004 - 10:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Any time you stand up to a bully with either body language or verbally it works. A bully can't stand defiance so they will move on to someone else they can scare. It may take more than one altercation because bullies aren't too bright but eventually it will happen.