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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:30 am
HELP! I totally (almost) forgot my son's checkup is today. I just called to find out if there are any shots involved and found out there are 3 and a finger poke. Well my son is really freaked about shots ever since about a month or so ago when he got deeply embedded splinters and had to get shots in his fingers (ouchiewahwah) and I don't even think those numbing shots worked and they had to dig the rotting old splinters out while he was all cocooned up. (Sorry for the runon sentence!!) So anyways, what do I do? Tell him beforehand? If I do, not only will that make him nervous, sad, etc., I don't think I could get him in his carseat. Oh, he is 4 1/2 years old. He never was freaked out about the doctor before. And I am not one of those moms who can't handle seeing her baby get shots. When he was little and got shots, I didn't like it, but I handled it fine. But when he was little, he was like all "ignorance is bliss" and forgot the shots just as soon as they were over... HELP! I cannot and will not lie to him, but is there anything I can do to help lessenthe "trauma?" Like promise a reward after it is all over??
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Kaili
Member
08-31-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:39 am
I always hated shots. I still remember my mom and aunt taking my cousin and I for shots when we were little. I don't remember the shots- but I remember us both looking out the back of the car window at the hospital as we drove away. We got ice cream afterwards. That made it all worth it . I always got Dairy Queen after shots. When I was a teenager and I had to get my last shots, I was the one freaking out at the shot place while all the little kids were just fine. My mom told me to look at the little kids and how they didn't mind it. I remember telling her that it was because they were too young to realize what was about to be done to them. The nurse gave me a cartoon band-aid. LOL. I was 16 or 17 probably. I don't know how well a 4 1/2 year old can rationalize, but would he realize that you knew and didn't tell him? That would have upset me more than the shots I think. If my mom didn't tell me what I was in for. I would have rather had it explained to me than have some lady coming at me with a needle suddenly. Plus I wanted to be sure I was going to get my ice cream. (Even then- my mom is a nurse and I wanted her to give me the shots but that's not really important here).
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:39 am
Julie, I did a reward when my son was younger, but it was NOT contingent on his behavior during shots/exams, or not crying or being brave. It was just 'cause he "got thru it". Now that he's 9, that's not necessary any more. Given his bad experience, you need to warn the doc/nurse; and try to make this one as pleasant as possible. It's also important that all of you stay calm, to help him stay calm. Don't rush him, and I also think you should not forcibly hold him or restraint him. No wonder the little guy is traumatized. I also know that many people differ with me on this point. Personally, I would tell him beforehand, and if he is too freaked out, I would consider making another appt so he doesn't have to get all 3 shots today. That seems extreme to me. One would be plenty. I can't remember my son ever getting 3 shots in one day. I've always been honest with my son, and so he knows that whatever is coming is exactly what will happen. It's not always pleasant, but he does know he can *trust* me to tell him the truth. When you aren't honest, and they lose truth, it makes subsequent visits more difficult, since they don't know what to expect and they won't believe you no matter what you tell them. Also, something to distract him while he is getting the shot. Give him the lollipop to suck on DURING the shot instead of afterwords. Sort of like biting on a bullet. Good luck!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:46 am
I would have postponed this appt., however our insurance is turning HMO on us so if we want to keep our current pediatrician for this checkup, we have to do it before April 30TH. So that sucks! I will not lie to him, but I am thinking I don't have to give him the info up front. If he asks me if there will be a shot I will tell him I am not sure and we will have to ask the doctor. (Well then, I guess that is a lie isn't it??) Shots when he was little were so much easier. So I guess I will just play dumb. Any suggestions on going that route?
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Kaili
Member
08-31-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 9:10 am
I did a search to see if I could find any other suggestions: To prepare children for getting a shot, parents should set an example by remaining calm, says Pat Clinton, clinical assistant professor at the University of Iowa College of Nursing. "Children pick up on the temperament of their parents, and so explaining about the injection in a matter-of-fact way can help." Parents are advised not to notify their children of the injection too far in advance, lest kids have too much time to think about it and build up dread. If children ask, tell the truth. Otherwise, the morning of the appointment is soon enough. In preparing kids, parents should reassure them that they'll be there to hold their hand, and that there'll be a band-aid and things to reduce the pain. "Parents should ask their pediatrician or pediatric nurse about anesthetic creams that numb the skin and which can be applied before giving the shot. Or they can simply ask for an ice cube, which will do the same thing," Clinton says. Even so, kids may fear the needle regardless of the pain, and so distractions are encouraged. Parents may want to read a story or practice breathing techniques with the child. "They may want to have the child pretend to be blowing bubbles through a straw--whatever works to take his or her mind off the shot." Children's Virtual Hospital
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Kaili
Member
08-31-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 9:13 am
Here's another kind of similar to your case Q&A I found . It's from a Christianity website that came up on my search, so I suppose you can always leave out the part about praying about the shot if you want, but there are suggestions beyond that. Shot Trauma Q. My son is 10 and is terrified of shots and needles. When he knows he has an upcoming doctor's appointment, he starts to ask incessantly, "Will I have to get a shot, Mommy? What if they give me a shot?". He often gets hysterical just thinking about the possibility of a shot. I try to calm him down by telling him he's a big boy and that he can handle a shot, but it doesn't seem to help. The last time we went to the doctor, my son was so anxious, I had to pin him to my chest while the nurse administered the shot. He's getting too big and too strong for me and I hate to see him get so worked up. Help! A. Shots can be a tough issue for some children. Try these strategies: Have a talk. Along with your spouse, sit down with your son and develop a strategy for dealing with this problem. You and your spouse can share incidents from your own childhoods where you were afraid of something. Be sure to talk about how you overcame your fear as well. Help your son think of ways he can get over this fear. He can try some deep breathing to help him relax or practice saying, "I will not fear, for the Lord is with me," when he starts to feel anxious about a shot. Talk with your son about other times you've seen him overcome his fear. Let him know you're confident he can overcome this one and that you are there to help him. End your time in prayer. Encourage your child to ask God to help him let go of this fear. Prepare for the next doctor visit. Whether your next trip to the doctor is for a routine physical or for an illness, call your doctor's office to ask if any shots, such as a flu, tetanus, or regular immunization, will be part of your visit. If there will be a shot, find out where they will give the shot (in the arm, the leg, etc.) and who will administer the shot. Since fears are often based on what we don't know about a situation, giving your son as much information as you can may help make the experience less frightening. Talk with your son about what will happen and how he can use his coping skills to handle his fears. When you arrive for your appointment, tell the nurse that your son is severely afraid of shots. Most health professionals have a few tricks up their sleeves to make these things easier. The anticipation of the shot is also a factor in your son's fear, so ask if the shot can be given at the beginning of the visit rather than at the end. Help you son use his breathing or other relaxation techniques when the shot is given. Set up a reward. Since this fear is great, offer your son a meaningful reward when he manages his fear well. Choose something your child truly enjoys, like an ice cream cone or a new book so that he has a big incentive to handle his fears. Set up specific and attainable criteria for earning this reward. For instance, if he can verbalize, "Mom, I'm afraid," versus physically thrashing, crying, or screaming, that's a significant gain and worthy of a reward. Praise, praise, praise. Whether he completely conquers his fear or simply becomes less hysterical, praise every aspect of his improved behavior. You can say, "I was so proud of how you used your deep breathing to calm yourself," or, "Fear is a hard emotion to manage. I am so proud of the way you told me how you felt." Parenting
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 9:19 am
Great articles, Kaili! Julie, I'm feeling for you today!
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Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 9:20 am
Gosh, I'm trying so hard to remember the "shot days" with my three kidlets. I was always upfront with them about why we had a doctors' appointment....to the point of explaining why the shots were necessary and well, just a fact of life and a part of being a kidlet. My kidlets would indeed cry with certain shots and I was there to hold them and console afterwards and tell them how I knew that must have hurt, etc. They eventually stopped crying after I would change the consoling conversation to "I think you deserve a treat! Where would you like to go after we leave Dr. "She's only doing her job's" office?" They would usually snap out of the crying jag and alertly say "McDonald's!!". I guess I had it pretty easy with my kidlets....they just seemed to go with the flow. Thanks for letting me reminisce about the good old shot days....sigh. And to all you newbie moms, I do feel for you...shots are needed but ack! the heartache they cause us moms, not to mention the fear and upsetness our babies must endure....sigh.
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Abbynormal
Member
08-04-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 2:59 pm
This is a true story. My youngest son is one of those kids that HAS to know everything that is going to happen to him at the dr. or dentist. I am the same way, and so I don't have a problem with it. It gives him some control. As a matter of fact they always give him the last appt of the day at the dentist because he must know each and every step along the way. The dentist jokes that he gets the last appt so the dentist can go home and take a valium after my kid. LOL Anyway, DS was about 6 and the nurse wanted to prick his finger. DS kept asking to see the little prick thing and she wouldn't let him. He kept asking and she kept refusing, with me trying to tell her she just needed to let him see it so he could feel comfortable. She got all huffy with me and said he was being ridiculous and just grabbed his hand and stuck him. When she did that he hauled off and kicked her right in the stomach! I thought I would die right there. She was totally pissed at both of us. While I do not condone what he did, if she would have just taken his concerns seriously it could all have been avoided. Kids are people too!
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 3:02 pm
So how did it go, Julie?
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Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 3:31 pm
Abbynormal, thanks for sharing your son's story. While I (like you) do not condone what he did, I hope that the nurse/medical assistant learned a lesson that day. Wowza, what a way to learn a lesson though...but on the otherhand, your son did ask to see the device first and I agree....kids are people too.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 4:16 pm
Hi! Thanks for asking. It went so much better than anticipated. Turns out he had gotten 2 of the shots at his last visit. Doc even said I was smart to have done that.. So advice from me is get which ever shots you can done as early as yo can. I remember them giving me a choice then and I said do what ya can now. That decision paid off huge! Cuz back then (a whole year ago) he was not so freaked out. That last splinter deal really "scarred" him. Plus he has kind of matured over the last year, so he is way more aware/freaked out about shots. Abbyn, I know EXACTLY what you mean about a kid who just wants to know/see stuff and how much more smoothly things go if you let him see. When he was getting the splinters taken out the doctor tried to insist that he stay in the cocoon until the numbing shots took effect. he thought Ryan would fall asleep and then things would go smoothly. Well I know my son, so I took him out of the cocoon and held him for a while (cocoon is a very sweaty thick nylon material) Oh wait, it is called a papoose, not a cocoon-I digress... And Ryan was fine going back into it (doc thought he'd fight it.) Ryan is also very tolerant if you let him raise his hand when he needs a break (like when dentist was cleaning his teeth). So I wanted to let his other arm out of the papoose so he could do that, but mean cranky doctor would not let us do this. It would have been sooo much better if he would have. Lesson learned-don't bring a kid to an urgent care place for a procedure--only go to an ER where they have the right equipment-all sizes. Urgent care had to makeshift stuff. ANyways, sorry for the off topic ramble. So back to today's story: When we were pulling into the parking lot, Ryan asked if there would be shots. I said I was not sure, we would have to ask the doctor. When we first got in, he was very happy and busy doing all of the weighing, peeing in a cup, etc... Then the doctor looked at his chart and said he'd only have to get one shot and one finger prick. That made Ryan's eyes really open up. He said "what did she say?" and then his little eyes welled up and one big tear ran down his face. Doctor was very comforting and he almost bought it (the line about all little boys this age getting a shot to keep them healthy) Then it seemed like forever for the dang nurse to come in to do it. When she walked in I asked her if she was a super fast nurse. (Cuz Ryan wanted to know if she would give him the shot so fast that he wouldn't even feel it!) She said she was fast. Ryan was a tiny bit relieved. Nurse wanted Ryan facing me, letting me hug him tight and holding his arm. Ryan wanted to face the other way. I tried to ask if he could, but she was already there w/the needle. Made me a bit mad (I know he woulda been happier if he could have sat more comfortably), but boom, it was over before we knew it. Then time for finger stick. Again, he woulda been happy if he coulda seen the thing, but nurse (like Abbyn's) went too fast and got him. He cried, but it didn't take too long to draw the blood. Then it was over, nurse took Ryan to pick out three stickers and we were off to the store before we knew it. He chose a happy birthday balloon as his reward for being brave. The end.
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 4:59 pm
It never ceases to amaze me how medical professionals that work with children every day can be so careless about their needs and feelings. But it sounds like you had a great experience today, Julie. I'm heaving a giant sigh of relief for you!!!!!! :-)
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Faerygdds
Member
08-29-2000
| Wednesday, April 28, 2004 - 6:45 am
Glad things went well for you despite the callousness of the medial community at large! I was such a weird kid... somewhat defiant as well. I had a lot of surgeries -- ear surgeries when I was young. When I was 7 I remember them telling me to turn my head and not look while they drew blood. I looked at her and said in my most stern voice (for 7), "No, it hurts more when I look away. You do it like this or you don't get my blood!" She told me it would hurt more if I looked, but it really did hurt more when I didn't look. What I know now that I didn't realize then was that I was using a breathing technique. When the needle was just about to pierce the skin I would slowly draw in a breath, when the needle was in, then I would slowly exhale -- and it was all done by then! It amazes me that medical people still don't realize that MOST kids are born with these "coping" mechanisms. You know.. it takes more time to fight a kid than it does to listen to them and make them feel better. maybe not for that appointment, but for the next ones!!!
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