Author |
Message |
Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 12:52 pm
Be careful about teaching her to rely on sugar and sweets when she needs comfort. I think we all need things to help us when we are stressed or just need a hug. Think of how many people who stress eat or smoke or have a glass of wine when they want to wind down. Why are children exempt from needing an outlet too?
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 1:07 pm
Skootz, I'm sorry, but that was a bit amusing to me too - you don't want her to have the blankie to make her feel better, but you do want her to have candy to make her feel better? (not that I haven't done that myself. I'm just sayin.... ) Parenting is a tough, tough thing, and it's often difficult if not impossible to know when to push our kids to grow a little and when to let them take their time 'cause they're not ready. None of us ever do it perfectly. The best we can do is try our best and put lots of money in the 'future therapy savings account' for when they grow up! 
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 1:14 pm
Can a 5 year old really "snoop?"
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 1:23 pm
Just wanted to clear up something...I didn't give her the candy to comfort her but to distract her from having the blanket on the mind. (It was also near snack time) She was excited about her Valentine's day party from school yesterday as she received candy and cards. Candy is something that is very rare in our house to have daily - especially as a comfort food. (except gummy bears which are used as a reward for my 2 1/2 year old when she does the big "2" on the toilet. Sorry I upset so many of you by starting this thread. I merely was trying to get suggestions for my current situation. It looks like it is resolved now..So please forget I ever mentioned it.
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 1:46 pm
"Can a 5-year-old really 'snoop'?" My God, Julie, YESSSSSS. LOL
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 1:53 pm
And Skootz...there's no reason for you to apologize. She's your child and you know her and her needs best.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 1:58 pm
That's what we are here for!! No need to apologize Skootz!!
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 2:13 pm
Skootz, I think it was a perfectly valid question--it's just one of those topics where moms can square off. I don't think anyone intended to make you feel uncomfortable while they were expressing their strong opinions. We luv ya, Skootz!!  
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Llkoolaid
Member
08-01-2001
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 2:13 pm
Hey Skootz, don't apologize, I hope none of us who think a blankie is fine have insulted you. We all have our opinions but you and you alone know what is best for you and your child. We are all mothers and of course we all think we know what is right, doesn't mean it is so. I have 4 kids, most grown up and I hate to count the mistakes I have made, but I like to think they were done with love and that I did a lot of good things along the way. Your concern over the blankie issue just proves that you are a good mom doing the best you can, that is all any of us can do.
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Zules
Member
08-21-2000
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 2:23 pm
Yeah, what Ll said!
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 2:31 pm
Thanks guys 
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 2:39 pm
Skootz, the fact is that you are your child's mother and you should know what you need to do for your child. You don't need to apologize for anything that you say or do! I'm glad that your reward of gummy bears is working for you because nothing worked for my son when we were potty training him! I used to tell my dh that Justin was going to have to marry an understanding woman because he would probably still be in a diaper! LOL But of course, he finally decided he wanted to go and maybe that is the key. HE decided it's what he wanted to do and your sweetheart may one day decide she doesn't need blankie anymore either!
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 9:00 pm
My daughter has her dolly. There is nothing wrong with having a security blanket or doll. As to the thumb sucking mentioned above. I didn't worry about it. My daughter sucked her thumb only during sleep up to age 3. She weaned herself. Sometimes kids need to feel secure.
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Teachmichigan
Member
07-22-2001
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:30 am
Oh my...no help for Skootz (doesn't appear like it's needed anymore anyway), but I just HAVE to share. I had a blanket that I slept with for YEARS. I didn't hold it; it would just go on my pillow or I'd wrap it around my eyes as a "night mask" to keep out light. It was a hand knitted blanket, so after 25 years, it was getting VERY ragged. Two summers ago, at the age of 32, I took a week-long trip to Villanova w/ a gal pal to take a class. We shared an on-campus apartment, and I slept w/ blankie. The last day of class, I overslept and had to get ready in about 15 minutes. We then only had 15 min. to get our stuff packed in order to catch the train into Philly. You guessed it ~ when I unpacked that night in the hotel, blankie was nowhere to be found. I'm sure it was tangled in the covers and we didn't bother to make the beds because housekeeping was cleaning everything that day anyway. I did call the next morning (unpacked at midnight), but it was to no avail. While logically I knew it was "no big deal," I was really torn up over losing it. It had nothing to do with security, self-confidence or anything...it was just my "comfort" and one of the quickest ways for me to get to sleep. I've sort of compensated in the past couple years. I've found that a hand towel has as close to the same "feel" as I can get, and they can also be wrapped around my eyes. So....I don't have a "special" handtowel...but I use one every night! In my own defense...I have always had sleep issues, and an article I read said using white noise (yup, I sleep with a fan on) and having a "comfort" item will help. I'm here to tell ya' -- I can't sleep w/o either one anymore! NO Survivor for this lady! LOL
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Teachmichigan
Member
07-22-2001
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:31 am
PS...and my 9 year old boy still sleeps with a Peter Rabbit Bunny he's had since the day he was born. Can't think that's there any way for me to take away "bunny" - bald as he is - when I can't give up my towel!
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 6:36 am
I did have a small teddy bear when I was little named "Teddy". (Yes, I've always had a great creative streak. haha) Anyway, when I was 7 or 8, I had to sew a band-aid onto his face where his little eye had fallen off. Poor bear! I grew out of him when I was 10 or so, but he's still with me around here somewhere in a box. So, now I sleep with my husband. Could he be considered a lovie? 
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Ginger1218
Member
08-31-2001
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 7:10 am
I had a blanket and I named it Cubbo, I could not say cover, so I said Cubbo. I used to suck my thumb and take the corner of the blanket and rub my cuticle on the corner. Weird thing isn't it? Now, when I am stressed I still rub my cuticle on the corner of some fabric or something, it strangely calms me down. Lately I have been rubbing my cuticles like crazy. I miss my Cubbo. I could use it now.
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:05 pm
UPDATE: Well late yesterday afternoon she decided she needed it again...I gave it and she said she just wanted it for the afternoon and would give it back at night...well night came she wanted it still so I gave it and let her keep it...she said this morning that she put it in the cupboard in the upstairs bathroom and has promised just to have it at night..I can live with that...When she had it before she spent 1/2 the day and then the entire night with it and sucked her thumb the entire time. (the thumb sucking I want to steer away from because I had braces for sucking my thumb for so many years - I can remember also being embarrassed about sucking my thumb and was also teased for having buck teeth as a result of it) I checked her during the and I think she just used it to fall asleep and she wasn't sucking her thumb...so that I can live with. 
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:18 pm
Skootz, you're a good mom. I'm convinced that it's the toughest job in the universe and we all have to find our own way thru it, taking into account the personalities of our kids. It's never exactly the same for any two moms, or any two kids. Your daughter is very blessed to have you. 
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:19 pm
I think that is a good compromise. 
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Zules
Member
08-21-2000
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:25 pm
Sounds like e win-win to me!
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 12:48 pm
Sounds like home-sweet-home to me! 
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Apriljo
Member
10-15-2003
| Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 12:23 pm
thanks for telling everyone about my blankie mom i love my blankie though..i would be lost without it 
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 6:10 pm
Skootz, if you come back here...my 7 year old sometimes rejects her blankie, says she doesn't want it anymore etc. It usually lasts a few days, or a couple of weeks at times. She won't have anything to do with it...not even for a moment. She's been doing this since age 4 or 5. (She's the youngest of 3 girls.) She looks at me incredulously when I ask her if she wants to bring her blankie (if she's sleeping at grandparents, or even just getting out of bed in the morning) if she's in one of those I-don't-need-my-blankie moods. They seem to come and go without reason. These days, she's been getting out of bed in the morning and carrying it with her to breakfast. I weaned her off of her pacifier very gradually sometime while she was 3. LOL, during the weaning she sucked her thumb for a couple of weeks! My 10 year old just put her blankie in a box with her stuffed animals a few mos. ago. she was still 9 at the time. We gradually weaned her from her thumb when she was 3. The reward system (bribing)never worked for her for this or potty training or really anything. My 13 year old had her blankie as a ball of strings held together by pony tail holders until she was 6 or 7. She stopped sucking her thumb when she was 4 1/2. We tried everything! She was graduallly weaned down to only being able to suck it at night. She just couldn't stop the night sucking for anything! She really wanted a big girl bike. We told her if she could go x # of nights w/o her thumb, she could have it. I think it was 10 nights. Then grandpa tells her 1 night and he'll buy her the bike. She did it. she got the bike, she never sucked it again! Anyway, they all stopped the thumb sucking/pacifier sucking. My oldest did have braces and my middle daughter will get them soon. Not sure about my youngest yet. I had braces as a kid and I never sucked anything. Anyway, I really wrote this so you wouldn't worry about her needing the blankie at times, it may not be a symptom of anything of negative.
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 7:09 pm
my son took his favorite baby blanket to college with him. it has gone on every camping trip, visits to boston, baseball camp, etc. what's wrong with having a special blanket?! his grandma made it and she is delighted that he still loves it.
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 4:54 am
Thanks Happymom...my daughter is doing not too bad with it. She is only using it at night and puts it away in the bathroom closet during the day. That i can live with. When I check her during the night..she usually has the thumb out of her mouth..so that is good news too.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 11:06 am
That is good news about the thumb! My neighbor sucked hers til 9 or 10. One of our old babysitters sucked hers til she was 12! So, I guess I feel lucky that my kids were able to stop at much younger ages. It didn't prevent the ortho, though, but like I said, I had braces and never sucked anything.
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Ambie
Member
08-26-2002
| Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 2:28 pm
When my daughter was three, we could not get her off of her soother. We had tried everything, but I kept giving it back to her because it was easier, but my babysitter came up with a wonderful suggestion. Dorothy swore that she had used this trick on her own children and it worked like a charm. First thing you have to do is arrange to go to a toy store where you tell your daughter/son that this is a special time where the store will accept their soother/blanket as money and they can buy anything in the store with their soother/blanket. That is the part that scared me, I pictured my daughter going into the store and picking out this huge expensive toy, but this did not happen. When kids are little you can take them to a dollar store and they are ecstatic. Our daughter was so overwhelmed with toys, she had a hard time picking out a doll. Remember they only really notice what is at their eye level. Anyway, we had arranged with the cashier at the store that we were going to pay with our daughter's soother and then I would discreetly pay afterwards. The clerks in the store got a big kick out of doing this and our daughter was so pleased with herself that she was big enough to pick out a toy and pay for it all by herself. Once she had passed the clerks the soother, she never asked for it again. I was amazed at how well this worked. This is the best advise I ever received and I am happy to pass this suggestion on. I would love to hear if it works for anyone else. You have to let her buy something with her blankie. We went to a large toy store and told her she could buy anything in the store with her soother, that this was a special shopping toy store where they took soothers as money.
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