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Archive through January 21, 2004

The TVClubHouse: Archives: 2004 January - Arpil: My Husband Is Driving Me Crazy!: Archive through January 21, 2004 users admin

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Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 1:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
My husband of four years just came into the house to wash off paint rollers...in the shower! He put them in and turned on the water and walked away. What is he thinking? He is disturbing my two year old who is trying to nap. He is driving me nuts. Is this common, or laziness?

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 1:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well, I don't know Dee - but Colossus has long since turned the bathtub in our masterbath into a cleaning pan for his paint brushes. When it's not being used for paint tools, it's an oversized pot for his collection of orchids. I can say that he usually doesn't clean the paint brushes while I'm trying to take a nap, though - I draw the line at that.

Kellirippa

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 1:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Is it common to wash paint rollers in the shower?..umm, naw, I don't think so.. Is it common for a husband to drive you crazy, that's probably not quite as rare an occurrence!

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
It's not like we don't have a hose outside, where the painting is taking place! I turned off the shower. The rollers don't look clean to me. You just know that I will be the bad one if the paint drys on those rollers! Unless he is coming in to entertain my non-napping child; he will have to figure out something else!

Karuuna

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Dee, I'm not sure which part you find disturbing, but I do know that it's generally a mistake to assume that other people, including your beloved spouse, think the same way you do.

It's quite likely that he's not trying to drive you crazy, but that he simply has no idea that he is driving you crazy because he thinks differently than you do.

Therefore, it's your job to remember how much you love him, and know that he loves you and would likely not want to be driving you crazy on purpose. Just pull him aside, give him a big ol' smack on the lips and then whisper lovingly, "honey, I absolutely adore you, but putting the paint rollers in the shower and waking our napping kiddo could make me homicidal and homicidal maniacs generally don't feel very frisky later in the evening <insert big wink>. Maybe we could come up with another plan?" I'll bet he'll change his thinking in a lickety split.


Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Listen to Karuuna, Dee - give him the treats instead of the treament. It generally works.

Sillycalimomma

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Lol Dee..we have a salt water fish take and I swear to you every time I scrub the bathtub not more than a day or two goes by and he decides it is perfect timing for cleaning out all of the rocks and filters from his tank! Another personal favorite of mine is his desire to work out late at night, therefor needing to take a shower after everyone is already in bed! Ugh. Men.....you are not alone. I think there is some unwritten code they all have to drive us nuts!

Maris

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 2:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well I have to tell you I would be singing hallelulah if my husband even picked up a paint brush. His answer to everything is "call someone"

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 3:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Karuuna, I think you might be my new best friend! Thank you for lightening my mood! Maris, he is not doing house work for us, but rather for his job (we manage a vacation rental complex at www.poncelanding.com). I too would sing if actual housework were being done!

Herckleperckle

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 3:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I gotta tell you, Deesandy, I know exactly how you feel --


About the noise part of your question . . .

Do you know that my 2 children (when they were toddlers) could sleep through sawing, hammering, ladder adjustments and sanding machines? Honestly.

When we moved into our first house, the upstairs ceiling needed to be replaced. Think of all the steps to do that. My dh would work all day, then devote nights and weekends to fixing our house.

It drove me crazy to have throws all over the stairwell and upstairs landing and all the mess in the hallway which led to the bedroom area! But that was dh's way of giving and he worked pell mell to get those things done. So I feel pretty confident your two-year can sleep through that. If not, you need to gradually build a tolerance in him (her?) for a little noise.

Now, about paint brushes in the shower . . .

Is it cold where you live or warm? Do you have a basement with a sink? If not, is the only alternative for cleaning the brushes your kitchen or bathroom sink? Maybe he thought this was the least disruptive choice, although it does seem a rather sloppy approach if he just left them there, unattended. You have to work the paint out of them by hand. Otherwise, spots of paint remain and ruin the paintbrush. Remember, he won't know there is something wrong if you don't tell him. HOW you tell him can make all the difference. And hopefully, he'll pick up on your cues!

I loved Karuna's suggestion and would love to hear what happens if you decide to do that!

Good luck!

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 3:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Herckle, he has not come back in yet. The paint rollers are still in the shower. I am sure there will be paint on the floor. I am interested in seeing who will be the one to clean that up!

My daughter had just settled down to nap. She doesn't get to see her dad much during the day so when she thinks he is in the house it is all about daddy! Hearing him in the bathroom caused a 90 minute delay in her schedule. If she had already been asleep it would have been fine.

I really don't know how to tell him that he is bugging me! He is a male virgo and oh so sensitive! That is why I came here to complain. Y'all may have saved my marriage!

PS)We live in Florida...no one here has a basement!

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
deesandy, you know what? just live with it. either clean them or ask him to later. then suggest another way to clean them.

when my sister's husband died last spring, she regretted every little 'picky' thing that had happened, or she had maybe nagged him about, and would have taken him back with any number of little 'irritating things'--just to have more time with him.

so, don't sweat the little things, is what i guess i am saying!

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Four hours have gone by and the rollers still sit in the shower. I have decided to do nothing:

I will not complain.

I will not move the rollers.

I will not clean the paint off the floor.

And that is what I call not sweating the small stuff!

I agree that life is short and that we need to be kind to each other as much as possible. Common courtsey should go both ways. My husband is eight years younger than I. If I were to happen to outlive him, I will miss him dearly. I would not think that wishing he not do certian things as a regret. I feel lucky to have met this man and I will hold him in high regard forever!

I bet you anything that those darned paint rollers will be spending the night in the shower though...

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
K, ummm - the big boy got home and had not seen this thread. We go upstairs to take a shower together because we have to leave early in the morning, and as the shower is heating up Colossus sticks one of his orchids in it. To water it (and the ants on it). !!!!!!!

Herckleperckle

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Tabby's right, deesandy. Bet you feel better for getting this off your chest, though.

If he's sensitive, then you are one lucky woman. It should mean he will take to heart any subtle or kindly-worded requests.

You know, you could start keeping a personal journal of anecdotes like this one. I'll bet in 10-20 years it would turn out to be a hilarious and touching keepsake! Who knows, it could turn out to be a best-seller!

Let us know what you do. I think this is rather sweet, myself.

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Goodessatlaw, I sure hope they are not fire ants! At least you are still taking showers together. And you have to admit that orchids do need tender care. Too funny!

Karuuna

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LOL, Gal, time to follow your own treats/treatment advice. :)

Nice job, Dee. He's a lucky fella!

Colossus

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
If GAL could only realize that "SHE" benefits from the same care & attention required for my Orchids. I give her the correct amount of nurturing & fertilizing she needs for the season she is in. She also receives the same washing, rubbing, squeezing, and drying as my brushes & rollers.

Sanfranjoshfan

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hmmmmm....just chiming in to say that turning off the water and leaving the rollers in there to dry out and become ruined may not be the best route to take. Forgive me for saying so, but that is rather passive/aggressive. Making a conscious effort to "get him back" for something he did not do with malice (driving you crazy by not thinking it through when he put them in the shower during nap time) and then purposely making his eventual cleanup job even more difficult if not impossible (just to drive *him* crazy in return) isn't very constructive at all. It opens the door to resentment rather than dialog.

Why not just put the rollers in a bucket of water and set them on the porch or something? You could calmly explain why you did that when he asks you where they went...rather than have to defend yourself when he gets irritated at the rollers you ruined out of spite.

JMHO....no offense intended

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
now, hold on a minute here, GAL...

you went to take a 'shower together' and colossus stuck an orchid 'in it'.
okay. i give.
what's the complaint here?


:)
remember, colossus is my wee bairn and i'll nigh be hearin' naught against 'im.

Tabbyking

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 5:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
right, sanfran...they should either be in water or wrapped in saran wrap so the paint doesn't dry on the rollers.

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hey Herckle, I think we posted at the same time.

I have to be very careful about any criticism. Once I had a fit because he ate all of the yogurt and we didn't have any for lunch for our daughter. He has not eaten yogurt for over a year now. I feel so guilty about it. At the same time, it makes me angry that he took it to that extreme!

I do keep a daily diary online for my daughter. I thought she would enjoy it later. I really do not complain much about my husband but sometimes we are just so different that it amazes me!

It actually is a pretty neat story of how we met and how we came to marry so I will seriously consider your suggestion!

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Love your posts Dee - and I'd leave the rollers without complaining. I don't personally have a problem with that stuff as long as they clean it up later. And if they don't, they'll learn to if you leave it long enough and the rollers dry out. Oh wait, maybe not - didn't we have a sock thread?

Bigd

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I am smiling right now. I have not had much reason to smile lately....but this thread makes me smile.

Deesandy

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 6:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I am so not moving the rollers.

I did not put them there.

Therefore I am not leaving them there.

I have one child to pick up after and that is enough for me!

What happened to the sock?