Archive through November 14, 2003
TV ClubHouse: Archive: Ask Adven (ARCHIVE):
Archive through November 14, 2003
Twiggyish | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 06:37 pm     Dear Adven, See there's this "friend" who has a "friend" who needs to speak about "friend A" but doesn't want "friend B" to know. So let's say "friend C" decides to spill the beans to "friend B" but THINKS it's really about "friend A's" mother-in-law's sister? Signed, Concerned Friend |
Bobbie_552001 | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 06:47 pm     Dear Adven...what do you think about a girl going away for a few days and missing all the screwing thats been going on in this thread?? Signed, Still horny |
Pamy | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 07:16 pm     Dear Adven, I love you xoxoxo Cosmo girl |
Zachsmom | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 07:48 pm     Dear Adven, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Signed, A. Wood Chuck |
Twiggyish | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 07:52 pm     Dear Adven, If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers? How many pickled Weiners would Peter Piper pick? Regards, Ms. Doe |
Bigd | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 08:16 pm     Dear Adven, I have the compulsion to smooch the rabbit, and yet he is not here. What should I do? Affectionately, KissNTell |
Wink | Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 08:31 pm     Dear Adven How the hell did you convince Rick Mercer to lend you his freaking, flaky, totally over the top brain? With deepest admiration Mary Walsh aka The Princess Warrior |
Adven | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 04:31 am     Dear Glad: Sorry, no compensation for my insightful choice of Lil for eviction. When I made that selection, I wasn't aware she still had her hat. Had I known, I would likely have a picked Ryan O. to get every vote but his own. Sincerely, Adven Dear Still Laughing: Coffee stains on a computer screen are not easy to remove, particularly when they are complicated by saliva. I usually try a combination of baking powder, toothpaste and hydrogen peroxide. Of course, this just leaves an ugly smear across your screen and you'll likely have to invest in a new monitor. Glad to help. Adven Dear Concerned Friend: Your dilemma with Friends A, B and C is both interesting and complex. It's also giving me a headache. I think I can solve this for you with a simple mathematical truism: If A=B and B=C, then it necessarily follows that A=C. Interpersonal dynamics are actually pretty easy once you throw in a little math. No need to hug me, just doing my job. Adven Dear Still Horny: I, too, missed all the screwing going on in this thread. What are your plans for the weekend? As it happens, my schedule is open. Waiting for your call, Adven Dear Cosmo Girl: Me too. Sincerely, Adven Dear Woodchuck: Contrary to popular belief, woodchucks aren't anything to get excited about in the wood throwing department. They lack the musculature and fine motor control to pull this off. Now, badgers are a different story. Unfortunately, it's a pretty easy tongue twister if you substitute "badger" for woodchuck". No charge. Adven Dear Ms. Doe: A Weiner was responsible for hijacking this thread and ably steering it into the gutter. I shudder to think what he might be capable of were he pickled. Take care. Adven Dear KissNTell: Although Rabbit smooching strikes me as a little unsanitary, each to his own. If Rabbit is unavailable, Adven smooching is perfectly acceptable and, if you ask me, preferable. Regards, Adven Dear Mary Walsh: To be honest, Rick Mercer didn't exactly lend me his brain. Rather selfishly, he was reluctant to part with it at first. Once I had him euthanized, strapped down and the surgical equipment out, I thought I caught a look from him giving his consent, so I went ahead and borrowed it. Thanks. Adven |
Heyltslori | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 07:38 am     Dear Adven, What exactly is a whippersnapper? Wondering, Lori |
Reader234 | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 07:54 am     Dear Adven, can you please do something about these "FILE LOCKING ERRORS" What files are locked, is there a key I can use? signed determined |
Adven | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 08:21 am     Dear Lori: A whippersnapper is a term used by those in their declining years to disparage those from a younger generation, usually for impudence. Just kidding! A whippersnapper is a small woodland creature, similar to a squirrel, that forages on leaves and small nuts. It is a cute, inquisitive little furball that tends to go for the jugular and has a lethal bite. With the Xmas season upon us, I should mention, too, that they make excellent gifts for kids. Sincerely, Adven Dear Determined: Those file locking errors are a pain in the patootie, aren't they? At least for some people. I don't seem to get them, so I've lost interest in your question. Hope this helps. Adven |
Mware | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 08:35 am     Dear Adven, Why something, and not nothing? Also, why is the saying "the whole nine yards" when that still leaves you second and 1? And lastly, why is it that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? Signed, Need to Know |
Adven | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 08:51 am     Dear Need: I'm not sure why something, and not nothing, but you have my assurances that the Iraqis are behind it. As for the whole nine yards thing, I think the author of the quote assumed you had a pretty good offense and would still have two downs to get the extra yard before having to punt. He's obviously not a Lions fan. Finally, horses are beautiful creatures, but they march to their own drummer. They love to be led to water and they actually enjoy drinking, too. Unfortunately, they dig in their heels if they feel something is being forced upon them and will refuse to drink no matter how thirsty they are. It's why I don't own one. That, and they have enormous heads. Glad to help. Adven |
Heyltslori | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:00 am     Dear Adven, How do you like your coffee? Always, Lori |
Cindori | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:05 am     Dear Dadven, Why do so many people have such a problem with flushing the toilet? Always, Icked Out |
Jan | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:12 am     Dear Adven, I haven't been under Martin yet either..but I didn't enjoy Chretien. Maybe I should refrain altogether. Any advice? Jan |
Reader234 | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:13 am     Dear Adven, why is my computer making a grinding noise? Just Curious |
Jan | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:17 am     Dear Adven When Is Reader leaving for her retreat? Will she have a good time? A concerned friend |
Adven | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:19 am     Dear Lori: I don't like to be predictable. I think it gives my enemies the advantage. So I generally like to drink mine out a soup tureen, one cream, one sugar. Then, when I feel my enemies are closing in, I'll switch to a vase or slurp it off the counter. Yes, I am single. How'd you guess? Best Wishes, Adven |
Spitfire | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:33 am     Dear Adven What numbers should I play in the Super 7 tonight? Signed, Gamblin Gal |
Adven | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:34 am     Dear Icked Out: I have no idea. Personally, I could sit there flushing endlessly. It's very relaxing. My guess is it's some kind of weird phobia they should probably see a counsellor about and pay him double his usual fee. Adven Dear Jan: I'd stay away from politicians altogether if I was you. Find some small business man and see if that works better. Or a psychiatric counsellor. Glad to help. Adven Dear Just Curious: Your computer is making a grinding noise because one of your children spilled pop on it last night. Sorry, I meant to tell you. That'll be $50, please. Adven Dear Concerned Friend: Reader will be leaving soon. If she can stay away from the whippersnappers, she'll have a blast. That'll be $100, please. Adven Ask Adven is now going on hiatus for the weekend. My lawyer assures me it's nothing serious and I may be able to get out of this with just a little community service. Have a good one. I'll be back Sunday or Monday. |
Jan | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 09:37 am     well, I could always use a good psychiatric counsellor or so people tell me! edited to add: have a great weekend |
Spitfire | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 10:04 am     <Spitfire runs in and throws a hissy fit> Now how the heck am I supposed to win the lotto this weekend when I didn't get my answer. Did Adven ignore me....it said for TONIGHTS numbers. I think he is going to play my numbers and take away my winnings. |
Heyltslori | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 10:44 am     Post 100!  |
Pamy | Friday, November 14, 2003 - 10:55 am     Adven Will you never cease to amaze me? A big Fan |
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