Archive through November 17, 2003
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TV ClubHouse: Archive: Ask Adven (ARCHIVE): Archive through November 17, 2003

Reader234

Friday, November 14, 2003 - 10:58 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Adven,

Will I be packed before my ride gets here, ONE HOUR from now??? Have you seen my list? Will you check on the fax that hasnt come thru?

WHAT you're leaving too? Did you ask permission first?

signed,
Relaxed (in 1hr 1 min)

Squaredsc

Friday, November 14, 2003 - 11:03 am EditMoveDeleteIP
dear adven,

who will entertain me if you're going away for the weekend?

sincerely,

myself

Ddr1135

Friday, November 14, 2003 - 12:20 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven

I ask the same question as Square.

Sincerely,

Not myself

Glenn

Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 07:29 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Big A

I have a friend who has indicated she might be interested into taking a walk on the wild side. And for this walk, I seem to be in the need of a nice leather paddle. My question is, do you think the one that leaves the little red hearts behind would be appropriate or should I go with the riding crop?

G

Lancecrossfire

Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 07:32 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Glenn, I just have to respond---when given two options, take both!

Firebird05

Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 07:45 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

Is it possible that in a "smitten" condition one might not realize just which one might be on the receiving end of such walks?

Just Curious.

Pamy

Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 11:05 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
ROTF!

Egbok

Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 11:37 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I am SOOOO looking forward to Adven's response to G....lol.

Jan

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 05:44 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Adven

Why is it that weekends are long when you are away?

an addicted fan

Halfunit

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 08:01 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Deh Ah-en,

Wha ha-ens ih ah eeh a huh-ded oot-see ohls in a min-uh?

Shined,

Drooh-lin

Ddr1135

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 08:39 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

Could you translate what Halfunit just said up above?

Sincerely,
Clueless

Egbok

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 10:09 am EditMoveDeleteIP
...not only am I SOOOO looking forward to Adven's response to G, now I'm also looking forward to the response to Drooh-lin...LOL!!

Squaredsc

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 10:11 am EditMoveDeleteIP
personally i would go with the riding crop but that's just me.

Adven

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 12:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
After a weekend of making the world safe for the forces of goodness and niceness, it's time to get caught up on a little mail.

Dear Gamblin Gal:
I missed your question from Friday and hope you chose wisely in the Super 7 lotto, despite not having the benefit of my insight. You also threw a bit of a rant when you thought I had ignored your post, something that always tugs at my heartstrings and makes me want to go the extra mile for my readers. I've consulted one of those guys who say they can talk to the dead and he says, according to your deceased great aunt, that your lucky number is 12. I also asked him to contact my father to ask him who would win the Super Bowl this year. After a lot of effort and mumbo jumbo, he said my father predicted Kansas City. As it happens, my father is still alive and knows nothing about football, so you might want to take that number 12 thing with a grain of salt.
Sincerely,
Adven

Dear Big Fan:
Thank you for your kind words and recognizing the wonder that is me. Surprisingly, there are those that think I'm nothing more than a self-absorbed, attention-seeking miscreant. To those nay sayers, I say, "yeah, so's your grandmother". Pretty clever, huh?
All the best to you and yours,
Adven

Dear Myself:
I'm not sure who might entertain you in my absence. I'd go with someone pretty uninteresting, so they don't disappoint you.
Hope this helps,
Adven

Dear Not Myself:
See answer above. Assume it is the responsibility of the dullest person on the board to entertain you, then my abscence will not seem the horror it obviously is.
All the best to you and yours,
Adven

Dear G:
I'd go with the riding crop over the paddle. That way, you can suggest she is either frigid or a lesbian if she dares to complain. The key to any long-lasting relationship is to establish moral superiority and to put your better half on the defensive.
Keep me informed,
Adven

Dear Just Curious:
You need to understand that males talk about wanting to take a walk on the wild side, yet, when any female suggests they are all for it, men suddenly get freaked out and suggest you are morally bankrupt. My advice is to ignore any male that is smitten. They are a bundle of contradictions and, therefore, best ignored.
No hugs, remember,
Adven

Dear Addicted Fan:
I'm not sure why weekends are long when I'm away. I do want you to know I've noticed it, too, and am not going to take it lying down.
No charge,
Adven

Dear Drooh-lin:
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Smooches and hugs,
Adven

Dear Clueless:
I believe Drooh-lin, in a moment of keen insight, was suggesting she wanted to get naked and bear my children. You should know, of course, that any time I'm not sure what someone has asked, this is my interpretation.
I love you, too,
Adven

Pamy

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 12:56 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,
Do you think the panties I gave Glenn in CA gave him the courage to seek out this paddle advice?
Love,
Hoochiemama

Squaredsc

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 03:34 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
dear adven,

what's the best way to fold a fitted sheet?

sincerely,

i.

Grannyg

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 04:07 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
dear adven,

i miss you when you are off communing with the squirrels. can't you get them to come live with you at your house?

love,
granny

Sasman

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 05:17 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

What is the true meaning of life?

curious in Sing Sing

Reader234

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 05:30 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

what does this mean?


Quote:

This discussion forum has been automatically disabled due to server difficulties to preserve the integrity of files on the board. The board administrator should resolve this problem and will enable the board when the problem has been resolved. The board administrator should log in to administration for more details. We apologize for the inconvenience.




Confused

Adven

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 07:15 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Hoochiemama:
For a man in Glenn's current smitten condition, receiving a pair of panties can have an unpredictable impact on behaviour and, I must say, his latest question has me concerned. Normally those who are smitten prefer singing in the rain and humming "Just Me And My Gal" and just generally behaving in ways that leave the non-smitten rolling their eyes. Glenn's paddling question suggests he may have recognized these symptoms in himself and is now overcompensating in an attempt to hide his smitten condition. There is no great need for concern at present, but we should all watch him carefully for signs of strain or erratic behaviour. Should you notice anything, please do not try to deal with it yourself. Glenn could be extremely unstable while he grapples with this. The board administration has professionals standing by and they can see that Glenn gets the help he may so desperately need.
Adven

Dear i:
The whole dilemma of how to fold a fitted sheet has confounded the great minds of this century for years. You'd think they had better things to do, but obviously not. The easiest solution, of course, is to just scrunch it up into a ball and shove it into the closet, as it's going to look as good that way as it ever is after countless attempts at folding it neatly.
No need to thank me.
Adven

Dear Granny:
I missed you, too. As for bringing a squirrel back to live with me, I divorced a number of years ago and have no desire to go down that road again with a rodent. On the surface, it sounds like a good idea, but before long they'd be re-arranging my sock drawer, controlling the remote and complaining that we just don't do anything romantic anymore. If you don't mind, I think I'll just keep my relationship with squirrels casual for the time being. If I happen to meet that special squirrel, I might reconsider, but for now, I'm happy with the single life.
All the best,
Adven

Dear Curious in Sing Sing:
I'm sorry, but life has no meaning. It is a barren wasteland of despair where each ticking second beats a funeral dirge to the slow physical decay none of us can escape. It is an arbitrary exercise in futility where the undeserving succeed, the good die young and Fate thumbs its nose at us daily for its own amusement.
Anyway, are those Morganites lazy or what?
Sincerely,
Adven

Dear Confused:
Sometimes announcements from the board administration can be a little confusing for those unfamiliar with the mechanics of board maintenance. Let's see if I can clear this up for you.
The discussion forum was having server difficulties and was automatically disabled. My guess is they did this to preserve the integrity of files. Board administration was working to resolve the problem and planned to enable the board once the problem was resolved. It goes on to say, if you are the board administrator you should log into administration for more details.
Hope this clears things up for you.
Adven

Reader234

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 07:26 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

ROFL, thanks for the "clarification", it was clear as mud, I think its time for a Merlot, Would you like one?

PS DD is now reading over my shoulder and would like to know what rolf means?

Would you please tell her it is time for bed, and to hit the hay?!

Sincerely,
Sleep deprived

Egbok

Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 09:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

In less than a year, if all goes right, I'll be meeting you in true living color.
Most, but not all, of my vaccinations are up-to-date. Should I be concerned?

Sincerely,
Eggie

Tater

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 12:31 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

Should we be concerned that Grannyg is cussing like a sailor now?

Regards,
Blushing in the Chat Room

Grannyg

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 03:19 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Adven,

Granny was NOT cussing like a sailor in chat. She just got a little carried away because there were no any Mods in chat. I was just seeing what happened if a few cuss words slipped by. You know how innocent I am. Would you truly believe that I would do such a thing?

All my love,
Granny

Adven

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 05:03 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Sleep Deprived:
I'd love a glass of Merlot <slurp, guzzle>. Got any more?
Sincerely,
Adven

Dear Eggie:
As long as you have all your vaccinations, you should be fine when we meet. As an added precaution, though, the Canadian and American Medical Associations are recommending that you wear a surgical mask and gloves, at least during the initial hug/handshake. They also mentioned something about giving me vast sums of money. I don't pretend to understand that one, but they're the experts and should be listened to.
I take Visa, by the way.
Adven

Dear Blushing:
No need to be concerned with Granny's cussing. She has Tourette's.
Glad to help,
Adven

Dear Granny:
Where I come from, and I'm not clear where that is, trying out cuss words to see what happens is still cussing. Luckily, this does not affect your innocence quotient at all. You have found the secret to cussing like a stevedore while remaining innocent.
Congratulations!
Adven