Archive through December 14, 2003
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TV ClubHouse: Archive: For Kar, Zmom and HeyItsLori: The Bad Date Thread: Archive through December 14, 2003

Adven

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 03:59 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I have heard vicious rumors, rumors that I'd prefer not to believe, that the three mentioned in the title of this thread have a long history of really bad dates. Of course, I'm not starting this thread in order to get the details of their experiences. That would be tacky. Should they wish to spill, however, I'm all ears.
In the meantime, I'm asking any of you who have had a date from hell - and you know who you are - to share your experiences. You may find it hard to believe that I once had a bad date. No, really. Even me. In fact, I'll share it with you, just to get the ball rolling.

I had just returned to Nova Scotia after gracing a couple of universities with my presence and was embarking on my career, such as it is. I was young and full of myself - again, hard to believe, but true - and a very attractive associate professor at a local university asked me to give a talk to her undergraduate class and, then, dinner afterward. To protect her true identity, I'll call her Wendy, since that was her name.
To impress her, I decided to act like a hot shot and stun her with my brilliance. Although I had no idea what I was talking about, my lecture to her class was going well. The students weren't snoring or leaving in droves, a good sign, so I became marginally over-confident. The talk was in a lecture theatre and I was down in front blathering on to two or three hundred students. I was in one of those office chairs on wheels and needed to get over to the projector to get to my next overhead. Unfortunately, the floor was carpetted and in wheeling my chair over, I hit a seam. I'd rather not go into details, but my chair went over backward, I hit my head on a table, sustaining a substantial cut and I ended up on my back, still in the chair, scuttling helplessly like an inverted crab. I have blacked out most of this experience, but I do remember a couple of fresh-faced students standing over me and asking, "Are you all right, man?"
Cut to dinner. I am still bleeding from my forehead. My date, who has enjoyed my humiliation emmensely, mentions that I am bleeding, although the red drips falling on my menu made this redundant. I excuse myself to go clean up, not feeling quite as full of myself as I once did. Of course, because God has a perverse sense of humor, in trying to quell the bleeding from my forehead, I squirted an alarming amount of tap water onto myself. Most of it in the crotch area. I returned to the table and, instead of laughing it off or ignoring it, I spent a good ten minutes explaining to her that I hadn't pissed myself. The last I heard, she married an architect.
Next?

Heyltslori

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 04:28 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL Adven! I'd have paid big money to see that!

I have had some fairly bad dates and have blocked out most of the unpleasant details...but the worst was the guy....I'll call him Steve because that was his name, lol who showed up for our FIRST date with a smile on his face and a big tube of KY Jelly in his front shirt pocket.

Mocha

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 04:42 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Well whenever I actually have a date I will be sure to write about, be it good or bad.

KY Jelly? Wow.

Weinermr

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 04:44 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Lori,

Maybe he just wanted the date to go smoothly.

Heyltslori

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 05:00 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL Weiner!

Mocha

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 05:03 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Rofl!!!

Bobbie_552001

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 05:20 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Lori....I can beat that....on the very FIRST date I had to move a package to sit in the front seat...Of course being the snoop that I am....looked inside the bag as he was getting in the car and lo and behold he had purchased a box of condoms.

Juju2bigdog

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 07:20 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Lori, perhaps he was just proud of being from Kentucky ...

Heyltslori

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 07:25 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Not sure that was it Juju...but I think he was fixin' on traveling down south!!

Sisalou

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 07:38 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
ROTF Lori and Weinermr and Bobbie and Juju and Mocha and of course Adven!

Juju2bigdog

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 08:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Oh dear! Lori, you don't think he was one of those muffed punters Fanny was talking about, do you?

Zachsmom

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 09:34 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I was on "Love Connection" once, it was a "bad" date.

I sprained my ankle on a first date.

I left a guy at a restaraunt on the first date.(he thought I went to the restroom)

I got bit by the guys dog on the first date.

hmmm..I have a few others, but I think that's enough for now

Karuuna

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 09:47 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
well, heck... I have to share this one, just so everyone understands the wind and blade of grass jokes, and it's a TVCH classic.

Got fixed up with this fella, with some distant friends, and then remembered why they were 'distant'. Spoke on the phone a few times, seemed reasonably sane (seemed being the key word here), so agreed to meet for dinner.

Dinner was fine, nice Chinese place. Till he started talking. And talking. And talking. Every now and then he'd actually ask me a question about myself. But apparently he was on a tight time schedule, because if I didn't respond within 3/4 of a second, off he'd go again. Talking. And Talking. After a few efforts, I gave up trying to respond to the questions, since obviously he didn't actually intend for me to answer. Two hours. Two very very long hours.

By the time I arrived home, I received a glowing Email from him. Best date he had ever had. I'm sure. I popped by chat and shared the story. Now a coupla seasoned TVCHers assured me I was correct in writing the fella off. But a coupla other male TVCHers (who shall forever go unnamed) thought I was being too hasty. The guy was probably just very nervous. I was probably very intimidating. Since this view was very flattering to moi, I agreed to give him a second chance.

We agree to meet for dinner, but by the time I'm supposed to leave, it's snowing. No, it's blizzarding. Poor visibility. Awful roads. Heavy, heavy snow. Now, I'm no chicken, but this didn't look good. I call him, and suggest we postpone. He sounds so horribly disappointed, I agree to give it a try. I suggest (gently) that if he's so unconcerned about the weather, we choose a restaurant closer to where I live. No dice. <insert eye roll icon>

Ten miles (halfway) down the road, I'm fairly convinced I'm insane. I call him on the cell phone. He suggests that since I'm halfway, what's the difference between making it to the restaurant, and getting home. I continue. I'm stupid.

Made it to the restaurant, sat by the window so I could contemplate how difficult it would be to get home. Somehow the conversation meanders about to spirituality. Probably because I was praying out loud that I would get home alive. He tells me that he thinks Christianity is one of the worst religions ever. Right after I told him I was a Christian. I can't believe I"m still there.

So I ask him what he believes in. The evening has turned into less of a date for me, and more of a psychological study. I'm thinking, stick it out girl, this will be great for your memoirs. No disappointment there. Fella starts talking about his use of hallucinogenics. Now, I can't fault him for this, because, well never mind. But he starts talking about his various experiences. Being the wind. Being a blade of grass. Now, having some experience in this area , I get the hallucinogenic part. But he really and truly believed he'd been these things. I complimented him on having only merged with natural entities. Hey, I can always find something nice to say!

Eventually I excuse my way out of there. And I go straight to chat, because you know they had to hear all about it. And make the requisite breaking wind and lawnmower jokes.

I get another glowing Email. He's found his soulmate. I write back and say I hope they'll be very happy together. He didn't get the joke. Well, he got it but didn't think it funny. He sent me hate mail. Three of 'em.

And people wonder why I don't date much....

Zachsmom

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 10:32 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Kar- I would have asked him if he ever became one with the snow, as he was quite flakey

Tess

Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 11:47 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I would like to go on record as being one of the people who advised Kar NOT to go out with the Wind and the Grass guy for a second time. :)

Ddr1135

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 03:00 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Here's my bad date collection:

1. Once had a guy greet me at the door with an orange soda and vodka drink. (He thought he had made me a screwdriver.)

2. A guy once sang in my ear the WHOLE time at a Crosby Sills Nash Reunion Concert.

3. A guy once wrote a song about me. He was a really, really, really awful songwriter and singer. Sent me a press release and tape. My friends would play it at parties for fun. He later would send those hateful chain letters to my address.

4. A guy I met that I really liked turned out to be a guy who had gotten another girl pregnant right before he met me. She was planning the wedding, while he was dating me. Thank God I found out. They didn't last, go figure.

That's a few that I remember.

Juju2bigdog

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 09:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I would also like to go on record as being one of the people who said no way in SPAIN should Kar ever go near this wacko again after the first date. I could have almost predicted the hate e-mails. I'm not sure I knew about the not-recommended date being in a blizzard. Ack!

Mocha

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 09:59 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I'm sorry but the grass and wind just cracks me up, lol. It also scares the hell out of me.

Herckleperckle

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 12:06 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Adven: I actually dragged my dh to my PC and made him read your post. (He thinks I'm nuts cackling away on my PC for hours.) He cracked up, too, I'm happy to report! Absolutely loved the story.

HeyItsLori and Bobbie: OMG, OMG, OMG! Too creepy. Eww.

ZMom: I can't believe it. Someone else walked out on a date by going to the restroom! I did that in the 10th grade at a drive-in movie. I had accepted a blind date on recommendation of my BEST friend (grrr). He was just a huge turn-off in every way, but most especially because I caught him picking his nose!!!!!!! I just wanted to run right then and there. So, almost as soon as we got parked, I excused myself to go to the Ladies Room. I went in one door at the Concession area and walked out the other. Then I began what would have been a 5-mile walk home in the dark, but . . . I got picked up by a cop for walking on the wrong side of the road on a major highway. After a major lecture (safety on various fronts), he dropped me off a half block (no closer, at my insistence) from home.

Ddr: #2 Reminds me of some of the people I always sit next to at the movies!

Herckleperckle

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 12:09 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
And, last but not least, Karuuna: All I have to say is:






That one takes the cake!!!!!

Adven

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 02:30 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks, HP.

I'm with Mocha. That blade of grass date is a riot. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall. Zmom getting bitten by a dog, Lori's KY story and Ddr's date singing in her ear for an entire concert are also classics. I don't know why, but I have weakness for the perverse. Go figure.

Herckleperckle

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 07:08 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Adven: Entertained by a psych guy. Who would have thunk it?!

Karuuna

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 07:44 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Would this be a bad time to mention that a fella I dated for 3 months last year read my Email (when I wasn't home), yelled at me in public (one time, and then he was history), accused me of having an online affair with a fellow TVCHer (sorry, complete fabrication), and after I dumped him filed a lawsuit against me? That kind of qualifies as a very very long bad date, doesn't it?

Herckleperckle

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 08:47 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Karuuna, sure hope he and the other guy are confined somewhere!!! (HP decides not to drink the water in CO!)

Juju2bigdog

Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 11:34 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Uhhhhh, I think that was the other guy Tess and I TOLD her to dump ASAP! And we didn't even know all of that.