Archive through November 17, 2003
TV ClubHouse: Archive: Ask Adven (ARCHIVE):
Archive through November 17, 2003
Ddr1135 | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 06:04 am     Dear Adven, My boss just called and asked me a question. I had no idea what she was referring to, so I used your wise approach to this and asked her if she wanted to get naked and bear my children. Do you know of any job openings as I'm now unemployed? Sincerely, Unemployed and Confused |
Adven | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 06:33 am     Dear Unemployed: I may have neglected to mention that the "get naked/bear children" approach to employee/employer relationships is a tricky one. Employers by their very nature are asexual and often don't see the relevance of getting naked and bearing children. This, of course, is antiquated thinking and not good for workplace morale. I suggest you find a job with a progressive company where your nudity will be appreciated and your willingness to bear the children of various co-workers and supervisors will not fall on deaf ears. Good luck with it. Adven |
Jan | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 06:51 am     Dear Adven I am going to the show tomorrow. Should I see Brother Bear or Master and Commander? Sincerely perplexed |
Adven | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 08:21 am     Dear Perplexed: I have seen neither, so feel I am in the perfect position to advise you. I don't like bears and I'm not wild about my brothers, so I'd be suspicious of Brother Bear. On the other hand, Master and Commander sounds like a 70's cop team like Starsky and Hutch. It does have Russell Crowe in it, who once dated Meg Ryan, who was once married to Dennis Quaid who I liked in The Right Stuff, so I'd go with that one. And don't forget to sneak some snacks into the theatre. The cost of movie popcorn requires a second mortgage. Have fun. Adven |
Wink | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 08:41 am     Dear Adven While on vacation with HRH we determined that you were indeed Dennis Quaid himself. Well let me clarify that I determined that. HRH kind of pfffffffffd at the notion (that was a mighty fine pic in In Style magazine by the way). So will I recognize you in Mystic and will you be wearing the same outfit as in the pic? With great fondness Rabbit's new squeeze. |
Jan | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 10:31 am     Dear Adven, Should I shop today or wait until tomorrow? Is Wednesday a good laundry day or will there be more machines available Thursday? What day will my cleaning lady show up on next week? My life is full of really tough decisions like these ones. How will I learn to cope with the pressure? Truly stressed out with the burden |
Adven | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 10:54 am     Dear Rabbit's New Squeeze: Although the resemblance is uncanny, I assure you I am not Dennis Quaid. Neither am I Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Fabio, Bruce Willis, Denzel, Keanu Reeves or any other hunky star I am constantly mistaken for. Since none of these celebrities look anything alike, I can only assume I am giving off some kind of hunky masculine aura that tends to confuse and bewitch the female gender. As you can imagine, being me is no picnic. Just for you, though, I will wear the same outfit as in the pic when I arrive in Mystic. Now, as for this "Rabbit's New Squeeze" nonsense, there are a few things you should know about before making the mistake of your life and hooking up with this long-earred interloper. Rodents, particularly those that hop, are notoriously poor at aquatic sports, if you catch my drift, and tend to bestow upon themselves grandiose titles such as the Prince of This or That or the Duke of Whatnot, in order to compensate for inadequacies in other vital departments. Yes, they can breed like you know what, but what good is it to you if it lasts ten seconds and all you have to show for it is a litter roughly the population of a small town? Also, how are you going to get a good night's sleep with those back legs of his going a mile a minute? Something to think about, am I right? Adven |
Adven | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 11:06 am     Dear Truly Stressed: As someone supposedly learned and, therefore, worth listening to, once said, "A stitch in time saves nine".... Sorry, wrong quote. I have no idea what that one means. Here's the right one: "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" What this means, of course, is anyone's guess. When I don't have an answer, I find quoting others makes me appear on top of things. Hope this helps. Adven |
Rabbit | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 11:07 am      |
Ladytex | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 11:58 am     ROFL!! |
Fruitbat | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 12:05 pm     That is my little Prince of This and That. Your water wings are in the mail.  |
Wink | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 01:20 pm     Adven I think you need to check out the size of my hunny bunny's ears if you get my drift. Very persuasive |
Grannyg | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 01:50 pm     Dear Adven, Why do snakes stick out their tongues? Perplexed Granny |
Halfunit | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 02:49 pm     Dear Adven, Why is Granny talking about Unit? Concerned, ½ |
Fanny | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 04:21 pm     Dear Adven, Why is 1/2 calling her husband a snake? Thanks, Startled |
Grannyg | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 04:34 pm     Dear Adven, Would you please tell FANNY!!! that if she read the cosmo tip thread she would know a lot about half's unit's unit? sincerely yours,
 |
Squaredsc | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 04:36 pm     dear adven, FANNY!! sincerely, sq/fa |
Twiggyish | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 04:37 pm     Dear Adven, I can't stop laughing at this thread!! 1/2's unit unit...hahahahhaha Sincerely,
 |
Pamy | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 07:20 pm     Dear Adven, What do you think of the tips in Square's thread? Curious |
Babyruth | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:24 pm     Dear Adven, I want to know if Rabbit can tie a knot in that cherry stem with his tongue. Signed, Eager Beaver |
Squaredsc | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:26 pm     Adven Querido, Si usted sabe cuál es bueno para usted, usted evitará mi carpeta. Sinceramente, Sq |
Pamy | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:30 pm     Dear Mr. A How do you say wtf in spanish? Still Curious |
Rabbit | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:33 pm      |
Pamy | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:34 pm     LOL Rabbit! |
Babyruth | Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:43 pm     ROFL, Rabbit!!! |
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