Chanukah/Hanukkah/Hanukah/Chanukkah
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TV ClubHouse: Archive: Chanukah/Hanukkah/Hanukah/Chanukkah

Staceyinpa

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 10:21 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I have a question, maybe someone can help offer some suggestions:

One of my co-workers (and his wife) has invited me and my children over for Christmas dinner. She is Catholic (hence Christmas), He is Jewish (Hanukkah overlaps this year)
I am very much looking forward to seeing some of the Hanukkah celebration, and watch while he lights his menorah.
I am a Christian and celebrate Christmas as the birth of Jesus.
I have a few questions about this:
How should I handle the prayer time before dinner. We always say prayers before a meal, and expecially during this most Holy day, would like to give thanks. I dont' want to offend him.
Should I forgo the traditional prayer? Would it be ok after his prayers, if we pray silently to ourselves before beginning?

What about a gift. I would like to take a small token of my appreciation to be given to my host and hostess. What would be acceptable... and could I assume that you don't wrap host/hostess gifts.. (what kind of paper)

Would it be tacky to bring a Christmas card for her, and a Hanukkah card for him.

Any advice would be appreciated!
I am really looking forward to this, but I don't want to offend anyone.
I'm especially interested in witnessing his customs..... and learning more about them, and letting my kids' holiday be enriched by the experience.

Thanks in advance
Stacey

Eliz87

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 10:33 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I think since you are a guest, they would welcome you to say grace. And, as the woman is Catholic, I'm sure your prayer would be similar to hers. (Maybe you might say "Heavenly Father" instead of referencing Jesus specifically out of respect for her husband's religion.)

A gift...A bottle of wine is always appropriate to bring to dinner, unless the hosts do not drink. In that case, a bouquet of fresh flowers, a box of chocolates, or some type of pretty dried flower arrangement would be lovely.

One "Happy Holidays" card would suffice for the both of them.

Hope this helps!

Staceyinpa

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 10:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
"I think since you are a guest, they would welcome you to say grace. "
Really? Gosh, I hadn't expected that... I guess I'll have to think of a prayer ahead of time... I usually don't 'prepare' them tho....

and yes, they both love wine. They went to Napa Valley for their honeymoon..... brought me back a bottle of wine.. :)
I know they prefer red wine, (any wine conessoirs out there... what's a good one?)

And yes, I'll find a nice happy holiday's card
Thank you for the advice!

(Just a funny story.. when he first started here, he sneezed, and I said "God Bless You", and then I did a quick second thought, and apologized and asked if he was offended by that... he roared with laughter... he said..."Um, no,.. we DO believe in the same God!!, it's just after that where we have a differing opinion")

Stacey

Eliz87

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 11:38 am EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL yes that's true...same God, different Messiah. :-) I think it's very charming and sweet that you are so sensitive to the feelings of others. No wonder they invited you for a holiday dinner!

As far as the wine goes, I would advise a Merlot.

Staceyinpa

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 12:19 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks for the advice Eliz!
I try to always be sensitve of others.. as I would hope that they would be toward me.. (I'm often dissapointed in the human race tho)

Yes, I think a merlot will be nice...
Thx again!!

Reader234

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 12:25 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
also, wrap it in blue holiday paper!! (blue is the holiday color for the Jewish celebration)

Eliz87

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 12:37 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
That's a good idea! Maybe a blue wine gift bag!

Staceyinpa

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 01:05 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
oh, cool.. ok, thanks!!

Konamouse

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 01:31 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Having grown up with a mixed family (I was raised Jewish, and my Dad remarried a Catholic woman who had children - so I often celebrated both), here is my contribution.

Any typical "bread & butter" gift is welcome as a thank you for the dinner invitation. Great examples have already been shared above. Doesn't have to be wrapped but you can also just choose a neutral color or something festive like a Happy New Year motif.

As for the prayer before dinner - depends on if the family does that themselves. If you don't see them offering a prayer, you can certainly make the offer yourself and just a general "Lord, thank you for".... this wonderful meal, friendship, love, etc. If the menorrha (hannukka candles) is lit, there is a prayer given during the ceremony (what a wonderful lesson for your family to see how others celebrate the Festival of Light) - don't forget to ask for a lesson on "why" the candles are lit (no, they are not birthday candles for Jesus). Actually, the Festival of Lights was not originally a gift giving holiday (such as it is today) but developed as such because of Xmas presents.

In my home(s) growing up, we just referred to my gifts as "holiday gifts" rather than xmas or hannukka presents. There are plenty of neutral "holiday" cards available that are very non-religious.

Enjoy the gathering!
'squeek'

Staceyinpa

Monday, November 24, 2003 - 01:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thank you,Kona
I am really looking forward to the Hannukka lesson. He asked if my kids would be confused by the Hannukka celebrations, and I told him, oh, no...we have read parts of the Old Testament together, and discussed some Jewish traditions already (The Jews ARE God's chosen people... I would love for my daughter to marry a Messianic Jew.... :)I think because their celebrations are steeped in so much religious history, it makes it all the more special! ) I was looking forward to that the most! I have asked questions throughout the year on the different holidays and traditions, so I know he will explain for us what he is doing. I am really excited!
Thanks for the advice! I think maybe a blue and silver wrapping would be nice... I think I have some at home, or mabye I'll look for a nice wine bag/box... with a winter theme....
I'm so excited!