Cancer survivors, how do you . . . .
TV ClubHouse: Archive: Cancer survivors, how do you . . . .
Colordeagua | Saturday, November 01, 2003 - 10:12 am     Now that you have survived cancer, how -- in your mind -- do you live with having had the diagnosis or can you simply put it out of mind? Last winter I was diagnosed with a type of breast cancer that is contained and slow-growing. Lumpectomy, 33 radiation treatments, and five years of Tamoxifen. Almost a year later, I am fine -- physically. And now pretty much mentally also. But how an cancer diagnosis messes with your mind! I don't think you can know unless you've experienced it. What it does to your mind can be worse than anything physical. I knew there was no way I was going to die from what I had, but.... Surprisingly I slept pretty well during eveything last winter (without medication), but the worst moment of the day for me was when I woke up in the morning -- and remembered. So, now a year later, I think about it but it generally doesn't worry me. I was a healthy person before the diagnosis and am again. But I think having had cancer, makes you truly realize that you are vulnerable to cancer / any serious illness, disease, condition, etc. It's not that I didn't think I was before -- it's just that, being a healthy person, you just don't think about it. Not even that it may happen to someone else, but not to me. You simply don't think about it. Now my thoughts are that it can happen to me, but is no more likely to happen (again) than it was before. I come from "long lived", basically healthy stock. Cancer is not in my family. So here's hoping that was my only experience with it or any other serious illness. |
Miss_Wings | Saturday, November 01, 2003 - 07:23 pm     I think everyone deals with it differently. DH was diagnosed with leukemia at 29. We did 3 years of chemo, and he is currently considered to be in remission. The statistic is that he has a 50 percent chance of not developing cancer again. His main oncologist sounds confident that we are finished. We still do yearly checkups, etc. Hubby seems to do better dealing with it than I. However, he doesn't want the topic even brought up during conversations with friends. For years, his health was all anyone asked about. I am still petrified at times when he develops any kind of cough, temperature, etc. He seems to have put it completely out of his mind. I think in some ways, he is trying to deny that he was ever sick. I am so glad to hear that you are healthy again. The world certainly looks different after having gone through an experience like that. |
Colordeagua | Saturday, November 01, 2003 - 09:28 pm     Miss Wings, I can understand your hubby not wanting the topic brought up. It's not only that his health is / was the topic of conversation among friends, but it's understandably almost all that was on his mind for so long. Can't help it, but it's 'bout the only thing in there. You simply get tired of it -- about worrying, about being scared. I wondered if would ever be out of my thoughts. It is gone. When I do think of it (as I am now while typing), it no longer worries me. It was an experience -- that I don't ever want again. |
Cablejockey | Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 06:07 am     I found out that I had cancer last St. Patrick's Day. The Dr. said it was in early stages and everything should be ok after surgery. By early May I had surgery, and the next scary thing was to see what lymph node biopsy turned up. Well I was lucky it hadn't spread out and into the rest of my body---that was a happy day after weeks of worry. Just to be on the safe side they wanted me to have 5 weeks of radiation because there is a 30% chance it will come back--the tumour was larger than they thought. Radiation gave me nausea and diareahha--summer was a bummer--so my chance of recurrance is down to 15%. I get check up every 3 months. At first I was so releived to be alive I didnt think about it, but now I am constanly measuring everything. Will I be ok in a year? Will I be here when my youngest grows up? I am almost afraid to think, period some days, grateful for every minute others. |
Colordeagua | Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 08:54 am     Cable, I am so sorry about the cancer. I don't think anyone (not even a close family member or friend) can truly understand how it messes with your mind ("cancerhead" as it's called on another message board I visit). It's about all that is in your head, virtually all the time. It doesn't go away. You just get so tired of it. Think this is all my life is going to be about. But with time and "all clear" test results -- it will go away. I have no family. I live in a condo and have good neighbors. I could not stand to be alone -- with my thoughts. Often needed more than just TV or talk radio. I am 56. There is a 94 year old woman in the building who I spent a lot of time with. I don't know how I would have gotten through it without her. She was very good at distracting me. I now call her St. Caroline. If you'd like to e-mail, my address is in my profile. |
Ophiliasgrandma | Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 09:09 am     Mary, my 81 year old mother and your story are almost identical. Her story started early this spring and ended last week with a clean bill of health from her primary doc, her surgeon, her oncologist and her radiologist. However, the Tamoxifen isn't setting too well with her. When she went though menopause in her late 40s she never had any symptoms, now, she is suffering greatly from hot flashes and horrible sweats. She is on her second medication to get it under control. If in 5 months she isn't doing any better they are going to take her off the Tamoxifen. I'd sure hate to have that happen. Any extra prayers you can direct her way will be appreciated. She has also had her aortic valve replace twice. That is all well and good now. |
Colordeagua | Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 11:08 am     Ophilias, Apart from the cancer, I have been lucky in a lot of ways with my health. I had hysterectomy at age 43 which I breezed through (cancer not at all involved). My doctor immediately put me on Premarin. Took it for 13 years until I got cancer diagnosis last November. (Premarin a cause of the cancer? Who really knows.) Stopped cold turkey. Had night sweats for 2 - 3 months. Maybe my sleep was also upset for a while. (That was not too bad.) That's all though -- no other menopause symptoms when I quit the HRT. I don't seem to be having any problems with the Tamoxifen. Maybe I wasn't meant for menopause. Prior to hyst, got three shots of Lupron. Side effects of that are menopause, etc. The drug did what it was supposed to for me, but I had absolutely no side effects at all. Was your Mom's tumor ductal carcinoma in situ? Mine was. I'll say prayers for your Mom. My Mom died not too many years ago at age 89 -- old age. Last winter I wished she still could have been here if to do nothing more than say, "Everything will be OK." |
Midlifer | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 07:34 am     {{{{{{{{Color, Miss Wings, Cable, Ophilia}}}}}}}} |
Ophiliasgrandma | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 09:14 am     Mary, even my story is simuliar to part of yours. I too had the 'equipment' removed at a young age and did the instant menopause...best thing that I ever did. I took the double hormones for over 26 years. However I did stop the provera about 3 years ago. Because my mom's cancer was estrogen sensitive I decided to stop the primaran, but I weaned myself off of it very, very slowly and suffered no symptoms whatsoever. I'm sorry I don't know exactly what my mom's cancer diagnoses was. She is very faithful in getting her mamogram each year, so her cancer was very tiny and contained where it was found. She did 36 radiation treatments. They live 150 miles roundtrip from the hospital, so it was quite a tour-de-force for her to make that trip everyday for over 6 weeks. |
Bigd | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 10:17 am     Colordeagua - I had a complete hysterectomy at 36 yrs old - I am 47 now. I have been thinking about stopping my hormones. I had fibroid tumors, endometriosis, and uterine prolapse. My breasts are fibrocystic and even though there is no history of breast cancer in my family I sometimes wonder if I am setting myself up for something bad if I continue the hormones. What dosage of hormone were you taking when you stopped? What was your doctor's attitude about stopping the hormone? What was the Lupron shots you got? |
Ophiliasgrandma | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 11:09 am     As I understand it, at this time if you have no uterus and no obvious risk for cancer you are probably okay to keep on the Primarin. I felt perfectly justified on keeping taking the Premarin until this spring when I came up with a risk factor, that was my 81 year old mother came down with brest cancer. That was when I weaned myself off them. I like to do my own reasearch from all the info that is available. That is how I decided what was best for me. |
Colordeagua | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 11:23 am     Hello Bigd - Have the same problems with my breasts -- fybrocistic. I seem to be prone to microcalcification clusters. It's when they're (clusters) labeled "suspicious" by radiologists that they get to be a concern. Had a suspicious cluster in both breasts. One was the cancer (ductal carcinoma in situ) and the other was benign. I took 0.625 mg. Premarin for 13+ years. (Have heard that is the most common dosage prescribed. There is one lower.) When I was given the first pill day after the hyst, I asked my doctor how long I would be taking it. "For the rest of your life." Not a good idea. At this point I'd take HRT for the short term, not for too many years. Didn't talk to my doctor about stopping it. Got the cancer diagnosis on 11/18/02. That morning was the last Premarin I ever took. At that point didn't know too much about estrogen receptor stuff. Eventually found out I am "positive" in that respect, so the Tamoxifen. Certainly in that case, don't want to add estrogen. Saw my doctor again very recently. I forgot to bring up hormones and so did she. Oh, well. Don't seem to be having any problems. My only concern over the years would be osteoporosis. My mother had it. There is a little benefit from Tamoxifen in that regard. The reason for the Lupron shots prior to hyst is that it shrinks the fibroids and uterus making the surgery easier for the doctor and on the patient. It worked -- after the three monthly shots, I was smaller 'round the middle. I had no side effects from it. You know you don't ever want a cancer diagnosis. Trust me, you don't. Unless you experience it, you cannot know how much it messes with your mind. Do what you can not to ever get the diagnosis. But, of course, you can't simply live in fear of it. |
Bigd | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 11:34 am     I had been taking 1.25 mg of Ogen ever since my surgery. Last year I weened myself down to the .625 mg dosage. My grandmother had osteoporosis and so I fear that is what will happen. I cannot tolerate milk and have never been a milk drinker. |
Colordeagua | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 02:01 pm     Bigd - Doctors tell me that all the milk I drank as a child will do me good now in my later years. I did drink A LOT of milk as a child. I loved it. I still do, but I don't think to drink it. Should make a concerted effort. I take two cheapie multi-vitamins plus calcium every day. (Have been doing that for about 30 years.) Getting almost all the daily calcium I should from that. Usually have some yogurt every day. Had a dexa-scan 2 - 3 years ago. Bones were good then. Hope they stay that way. |
Ophiliasgrandma | Monday, November 03, 2003 - 04:51 pm     I had the xray bone scan this spring. I have the bones of a teenager. I credit that to taking my Premarin all those years, plus a calcium supplement for the past 30 years also. |
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