Archive through October 08, 2003
TV ClubHouse: archives: Most bizarre way you've injured yourself.......:
Archive through October 08, 2003
Not1worry | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 06:16 pm     I was never very coordinated, but the clumsiness didn't really kick in until I joined the Army. My first memorable injury was in the chow hall. My unit of all females had not been allowed any dessert for 5 weeks. Finally, after a 6 mile roadmarch, they told us we could have a dessert. We stampeded the dessert area and I managed to snag a slice of lemon creme pie. One minute I was walking back to my seat, the next I was on the floor writhing in pain. Everyone thought I just slipped and fell and everyone was laughing. It took a while to notice I was screaming. I had dislocated my knee. The paperwork claims it was a line-of-duty injury. I say it is dangerous to deprive women of dessert! Later in EOD school, my nickname was No-Knives. I let my brand new pocket knife snap shut on my index finger, right on the knuckle, all the way through to the knuckle capsule. It's kind of ironic that I am so horribly clumsy and I spent those years on the bomb squad. |
Juju2bigdog | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 07:12 pm     Uhhhhhhhhhh, Not1worry, were you the one they had defuse the bombs? |
Not1worry | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 07:34 pm     Yes, Juju, that's why it's kind of funny. EOD stands for Explosive Ordnance Disposal. Large amounts of rather fragile high explosives and ME -Sgt Clumsy. Okay, so it's not really funny "ha-ha", sort of funny "sheesh". I never had any mishaps, other than the one time....never mind, no one got hurt. |
Abbynormal | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 07:40 pm     About 6 months ago our dryer stopped working. DH fixed it, which means it works but it still spins when you open the door. So of course I stuck my hand in there to grab something and my arm got tangled with a pair of jeans. Now, I hardly ever cry but I did that day. The next day was a perfect square bruise on the outside of my elbow. My arm had literally been "wrung". It almost killed me for 2 months before I went and got a shot between the bones of my elbow. The shot didn't help but the pain is nowhere as bad now, although I still can't carry anything heavy with that arm. I think I really ruined my arm, what I did is beyond bizarre or dumb, it's just plain pathetic! |
Azriel | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 08:01 pm     I was at work. Kady and I were sharing lunch with two salesmen. I was eating a chicken breast. Someone drove up to the drive-in window and I gulped down the big bite of chicken that I had just taken and went up front to wait on them. When I started to ask the person if I could help them, I realized that the bite had not gone down my throat and I was choking on it. I tried to cough it up. It wouldn't budge. I left the puzzled customer at the window and went to the back where Kady and the salesmen were. I couldn't talk. I was jumping around and pointing frantically to my throat. They just looked at me like this was normal behavior and kept on eating! When I leaned over a stack of boxes and started trying to do the Heimlich on myself, a light bulb finally clicked in one of the salesmen's heads and he grabbed me up from behind so forcefully he lifted me up off the floor and a hunk of chicken flew out across the room. The hunk of chicken came out and I could breath again, but I still felt a bone in my throat. Kady's father walked in about then and he took me to the emergency room. The doctor in the emergency room looked down my throat, told me there was nothing there and it just hurt because it got scratched up. He told me to go home and it would feel better in a few hours. I refused to leave and he got really ticked off at me and finally said, 'Fine, it's your money you are wasting' and sent me to get an x-ray. He came back in with the x-ray later and apologized profusely to me. On the x-ray you could see the whole wishbone, with one jagged side stuck so deep in my throat that the other side was flush with the side of my throat. I had to have surgery to remove it. The doctor who did the surgery told me that if I had just gone home that I would have been dead by the next day. Mother was right, ALWAYS chew your food well before you swallow it.  |
Cjr | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 08:08 pm     Half, I also locked my thumb in a truck door, dropped the keys, they fell under the truck and I was in the back parking lot of my apartments. I screamed until someone heard and came out and unlocked the door. That's when the pain really started! I didn't break my thumb or anything. It was just flat as a pancake for about a month. About the same time, in the same apartment, I had a party and started drinking rum and coke quite early in the day. By evening I had no reflexes left and I just remember hearing someone laugh and seeing a cigarette come into my eye. It really didn't hurt much then. The next morning when my cousin came to get me to go to the hospital because my sister was having the baby, she took one look at me and screamed. I was at the emergency room while my sister was upstairs giving birth to my wonderful nephew! I found out later it was me laughing and my cigarette! I have never drank like that again in my life. And then there was the bread slicer at Albertsons. I pushed a loaf of bread down in the vibrating blades and cut off the back of my finger and the top of my nail. No one in the store could help me because of all the blood so the butcher drove me to get it sewn back on. There are more stories but I am feeling the pain again. Wow! I found my perfect thread! LOL |
Cathie | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 08:09 pm     One time, at band camp........oops, wrong story. When I was a kid I was playing outside with a friend, barefoot because that's what you do in TX in the summer. I stepped on a wasp, and during the jumping and screaming that followed I tripped and fell flat on my face on the sidewalk, breaking my front tooth in half. In high school, when I was much smarter, I became really hot and tired after running laps around the gym at basketball practice. I sat on the bleachers to cool off, and kept moving higher and higher up in the stands, for some reason thinking it would give me more air. Unfortunately, I was at the end of the bleachers, so when I passed out from exhaustion I did a head-first dive from the top of the bleachers to the gym floor. I woke up to the PE teacher forcing orange juice down my throat (guess that was before CPR, huh?) Some people will do anything to get a day or two off from school... |
Whoami | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 08:34 pm     My older sis is the klutz kween in the family. When little sis was a little kid, she had a toy drum. For some reason, the head of that toy drum was removed, and ended up laying on the floor in the bathroom. Older sis was standing up on the toilet to reach something on a shelf above the toilet, and stepped down right onto that toy drum head and tore a chunk of meat out of her foot. Same toilet, same sis, same bathroom, same shelf. This time, she stepped off and tore a chunk of meat off her foot by landing on the base of the toilet. Not sure if it was the same foot. Kitchen oven was a wall unit, oven was about at face level. Older sis opened the oven door to either preheat/check something already heating up. I hear a crash-clatter followed by a yell (we heard that a lot with older sis). Turns out the oven door fell off the hinges and landed on her foot. She also put her arm through a glass door, and ended up with stitches. Also broke her foot in elementary school. Not so much an injury, but hilarious. She broke her own cello bow. I remember her calling me into her room, and showing me the two severed ends of her bow. She shoved it in my face and said, "LOOK at this!" I thought she was trying to accuse me of breaking it. I asked her what happened, and in the same serious, angry (almost accusing) voice, "I SAT on it!" I of course just start busting my gut. She gets mad and insists its not funny. But a couple of seconds later she's busting her gut too. Later in life, she's suffered several concussions from bike crashes and horse accidents. One horse accident was when her horse reared up, she fell off, and the horse fell on top of her. On that one, she broke her shoulder blade in half. Still has the imprint of a hoof on her leg as a souvener. Another horse accident left her with a hairline fracture in her back. Sometimes I'm amazed she's still alive and relatively in one piece! I have a few stories of my own, but this post devoted to older sis is already long enough. |
Sia | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 09:07 pm     I was going to tell how I hideously-painfully sprained my knee a few weeks ago just walking through the hallway beside my computer, except you said the injury had to be self-inflicted. I think the initial injury was my big dog slamming into my lower leg two weeks before the knee dislocation. So on to a story that counts for this thread: I was about 14 and my kid sister, about 7 at the time, had ruined her Barbie by putting it into water. Somehow the glue from its head had come out and gotten matted into the roots of the doll's hair. Being the hero, I took the Barbie to the bathroom and proceeded to whack chunks of the globby glue out of its hair with a double-edged razor BLADE (no handle!), slicing my left thumb to the bone from the first knuckle diagonally to the nail-bed. That hurt. Ooh, and how it bled!!
Can you make out the scar on my thumb? |
Kristylovesbb | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 09:26 pm     I was dating two men at the same time, neither one knew of the other. I invited one to dinner on a Sunday and while cooking I glanced out the window and lo and behold both guys pulled into the parking lot at the same time. I freaked and in my crazed state ran out the door to my neighbors apt. While running I hit a hole in the ground landed on my face screaming in pain. I had broken my ankle and the two guys took me to the ER. When I was about 5 years old, remember the old metal aspirin boxes with hinges, well I had one on my tongue walking around the house with it hanging out of my mouth. My uncle was visiting and proceeded to reprimand me and told me I was going to get it stuck on my tongue. Well smarty pants me bites down on the darn thing and locks it in place. I had to be taken to the hospital with my tongue hanging out with an aspirin tin attached to it. |
Justavice | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 09:41 pm     About three months ago, I was at work using a 3-hole punch on a report on my lap. I have no idea how it happened (most klutzes never know how it happened...) but I managed to get my stomach skin wedged in trying to force the hole-puncher to work on my lap and ended up hole-punching my stomach. I was lucky I wasn't fired for all the cursing that involuntarily flew out of my mouth. |
Indenial | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 10:17 pm     My most bizarre injury happened while I was reading posts here at TVCH...sniff, sniff. I had sat down in my computer chair to get caught up on the threads, and decided I was cold. Rather than do the smart thing and go and get a jacket or a blanket, I decided to pull my arms into the sweatshirt I was wearing to warm up. There I was, laughing along at all the funny things everyone was saying, and reaching out from under my shirt periodically to scroll to the next post - when I noticed a particularly long one and leaned back to read it. Well, what I had not realized was that I had sat down in my NO ARMS computer chair sideways and therefore had no back to lean on - and proceeded to fall. Since my arms were pinned inside my shirt, I could not catch myself so I tried to twist enough to throw myself FORWARD and against the computer desk - instead, I twisted and fell to the floor and busted my ribs. I was in so much pain and could barely breathe for a few minutes until I could finally scoot over to the phone. I finally got to the hospital and was just dumb enough to tell them what really happened, so was deeply ridiculed by the hospital staff for a good twenty minutes before they were able/willing to help me. Trust me - it was not one of my finer moments. Shouldn't TVCH carry insurance for this type of problem? Oh, and I now have a computer chair with arms, and a blanket close by... |
Hippyt | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 10:34 pm     No,Sia I see no scar,but could I give you a manicure? |
Wargod | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 10:54 pm     Indenial, I have also had one of my most embarrasing injuries happen while visiting TVCH. I was sitting at the desk and reached for my soda. Knocked it over and while trying to get away from the soda pouring in my lap I shoved the chair back, caught the wheel on something, tipped over and landed in the puddle. Not only was I soaked and sticky I bruised my butt and hurt my wrist and refused to tell anyone what I'd done for a long time, lol. I once walked off a two inch curb...flat onto my face. I have tripped over my own feet, kids toys, chairs and tables that get in my way, and absolutely nothing. I can be walking and the next thing I know I'm hopping off the floor, LOL. There was also the time I tried to chop off a finger cutting a bagel in half, the time I was helping mom move a dresser with a mirror attached, mirror fell off and a piece flew up and sliced my neck. I can go on and on, lol. |
Tabbyking | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 10:58 pm     i found out ahnold was governor and when i went to the bathroom in the dark, i stubbed my big toe under the door which i had thought was open. okay, not really. but it could happen. |
Sia | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 11:05 pm     Sure, T, I certainly need a manicure. Thanks bunches for pointing out how horrible my hand looks!! I have two young kids. I don't do anything to my hands or nails unless a nail breaks, and then all I do it snip it off with a baby nail-clipper. I haven't had a manicure in years. I've never had a professional manicure at a salon. *sigh* Gee, I feel very underprivileged. |
Hippyt | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 11:11 pm     Sia,honeybunny,you should see my nails! I also have two young chidren,maybe we can do each others? I was not trying to point out anything derogatory,I thought you would remember me! |
Sia | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 11:15 pm     Kristylovesbb, I want to hear what happened with the two guys who didn't know you were dating both of them at the same time!! This thread is hilarious! |
Sia | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 11:17 pm     I do remember ya, T! That's why I called you "T!" With my kids keeping me so busy I never do anything with my skin, face or nails. (I'm a fright to look at!!) It would be great to do facials and manicures together, LOL. No offense taken! I just realized how choppy my thumbnail looked after you mentioned the manicure. I don't remember when that happened. I take time to trim my kids' nails, but I never file mine! |
Wargod | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 11:29 pm     Bite them off, it's cheap, easy, and quick. Hey, that could be another bizarre injury for me! How many times I've made myself bleed, LOL. I went back and read the archive after I posted and got to say me and GAL have something in common. I'm not allowed to use knives at all. Even if we're in a restaurant, Darren will take my plate and cut the meat, lol. I have sliced my thumb open on metal salad tongs, shoved the edge of a spatula under a nail, and many times burnt fingers grabbing hot silverware. Heck, I turned around one time with a fork in my hand and stabbed Darren in the stomach with it, lol. I've got to get out of this thread, I'll be here all night if I don't! |
Squaredsc | Wednesday, October 08, 2003 - 04:55 am     war, don't you collect swords? |
Not1worry | Wednesday, October 08, 2003 - 05:40 am     Okay, my favorite one for today is Justavice's. The hole puncher thing is wayyyy too funny. Some of these are nauseating me just imagining the injury. |
Luvmyjrt | Wednesday, October 08, 2003 - 06:28 am     Great stories everyone! I feel soooooooo much better. In fact, I will print all of these and laminate them so DH knows I'm not alone! |
Joesmom | Wednesday, October 08, 2003 - 06:30 am     ok, i have nothing to add here, but I have to tell you guys that TEARS are rolling down my face from laughing so hard reading these posts. Indenial did it to me, as I got a visual of her in her office chair. What great stories!!! |
Pamy | Wednesday, October 08, 2003 - 06:40 am     Me too. I was rolling picturing Justvice trying to drink water and little spurt comming out of hole in her tummy LOL |
|