Canada Day!
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TV ClubHouse: Archives: Canada Day!

Marysafan

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 11:20 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Just wanted to say happy Canada Day to all my neighbors to the north! Enjoy the day!

Chai

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 11:31 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I second that! Happy Canada Day to our northern neighbors! :)

Adven

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 11:31 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks, Mary. I'm stuck at home writing reports that I procrastinated on, so I'm not enjoying the day as much as I would have liked. On the positive side, it does give me the opportunity to grace the board with my presence a little more frequently today.

Spitfire

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 11:33 am EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL!! Oh Adven, you always make me smile.

Happy Canada Day!!

Rissa

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 12:41 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Normally I don't reprint these things but actually found this one funny. (country the question came from is in brackets for each one)

Happy Canada Day!!

July 1st being Canada Day I thought I would share this with you.

These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

1. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . .. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK) A: You are an American politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving.

17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.

19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

21. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Squaredsc

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 12:45 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
happy canada day.

Chai

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 12:59 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
BTW, why do you Canadians always seem to jump the gun with holidays? You have your patriotic holiday three days before we do, and your Thanksgiving is a whole month earlier!! Heehee!

Sbw

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 01:18 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Happy Canada Day! Rissa, those are hilarious. I guess Tuesday night is the night to be in Canada, huh? (But I am bringing my clothes, I would hate to start an international incident.)

Bastable

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 02:15 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Happy Pamela Anderson's Birthday! Er, I mean, Canada Day.

Mak1

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 04:23 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Happy Canada Day!

Hermione69

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 07:27 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I saw that it was Canada Day on the my calender this morning! Cool to see a thread! BTW, Rissa, loved the Q and A, too funny!

Happy Canada Day!

Jmm

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 07:52 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
xx

Hippyt

Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 09:59 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Happy Canada Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 08:44 am EditMoveDeleteIP
As a nice follow up to Canada Day, Vancouver has just been awarded the 2010 Winter Olympics. Congratulations to our friends to the north - I hope I will be able to go to them!

Crossfire

Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 08:58 am EditMoveDeleteIP
w00t!

Wink

Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 09:09 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I'll be there with bells on.

Ann

Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 09:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
It'll be my second Winter Olympics... I can't wait. If it is as good as Calgary was, we can't lose.

Juju2bigdog

Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 07:27 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I'll be there, I think. Bigdog is talking about renting out the house for big bucks, lol. Wait till I tell him the house will be wall to wall sleeping bags on the floor with my little imaginary internet buddies!

Jan

Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:01 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I just found this thread and loved the Q & A list from Rissa.

I have to admit that once, when visiting my family in Tucson Arizona, a workman laying tile really asked me if we used dogsleds to get around in Canada!!

But what is even worse, my Canadian born cousin moved to Florida when he was about 9 and was educated there. When he came to Toronto at 24 he wanted to go to Vancouver, British Columbia FOR THE EVENING!!!! (did I mention that he was born and spent his early years here!!!) {for those of you who might be geographically challenged think
New York to LA for the evening}

Admin

Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 10:12 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
This year Lisa, my son Nate and I all celebrated Canada Day together.

We woke up early and turned on the TV, only to find nothing interesting on our 5 channels (we have cable, so get all 5 ya know).

So with nothing better to do, we emerged from our Igloo and got out the dogsled for a little ride. We drove to town and waved at our Prime Minister as he went by on his sled. We saw lots of things on our trip. We saw some Marines floating in the river in their new rubber dingy, and we saw a military helicopter crash too (we see those all the time).

We used some of our Monopoly money for breakfast out and sat pondering the days when we might get electricity in our Igloo. On the way home we stopped to buy some cannibas...it's really cheap here and I hear we're a big exporter to the US now...yay, we finally found something of ours they want besides our water and trees!

Someone tried to offer me a can full of pisswater at the restaurant, it said Miller on the side. I think he mistook it for beer.

So ya, that's how we spent the day..you?

Fanny

Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 03:16 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Neil, sounds like you all had a great day while you were oot and aboot! Did you see many polar bears?

I can play Oh Canada on the piano, cool, eh?

Admin

Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:04 am EditMoveDeleteIP
My commentary was just for fun. I love the US and all of you! Although I am proud of my country, I think we'd be better off as a State. One day I hope to retire to Florida, I love it down there, I've visisted often.

Recently I was just in Carlisle, PA, for a big car show. Everyone was so friendly and happy and everyone loved my hat that said Canada Eh? on it.

I think we all make good neighbours.

On the Oh Canada song: in the last decade or so they've changed the words a few times, it's now bilingual too. They're trying to please everyone to make it non-anglo-saxon-christian based. It used to be something that everyone learned as a child, but now most people don't know the words at all because it's all messed up...it's really sad.

Babyruth

Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:11 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I loved your commentary! But, please, no 51st statehood for your lovely country. Why ruin a great thing?
Speaking of that, I'm sorry to hear about "Oh Canada". I didn't know that!

Fanny

Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:19 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I'm thinking about running for governor in California (why not? everybody else is) and for my platform I'm going to advocate leasing the entire state to Canada.

Halfunit

Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 12:14 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Neil - my dad goes to the swap meet in Carlisle, PA, every year. I've gone once - it's HUGE !

Squaredsc

Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 12:24 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
im voting for fanny/tivo/square where you get not one person but two.

Ann

Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 08:40 am EditMoveDeleteIP
This was sent to me by someone from the US.

Hey, Canada's one cool country
>>
You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there.

And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.
>>
Allow me to introduce Canada.
>>
The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine.
>>
Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here
>>eats the stuff anyway.
>>
And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources on traffickers: If your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United States, bong.
>>
Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem: Marijuana offences have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which mean that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the '70s, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They don't even have a death penalty!
>>
And yet, nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since 1991. Violent crimes fell 13 per cent in 2002. Of course, there are still crimes committed with guns - brought in from the United States, which has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America - but my theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.
>>
And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.
>>
This sort of behaviour is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom fighters in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested in order and good government than liberty and independence.
>>
But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much of our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do what they want to?
>>
Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran.
>>
Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita than the United States.
>>
These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound.

Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult - more secure.

They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.
>>
>>I wonder if America will ever be that cool.

Jan

Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 09:33 am EditMoveDeleteIP
very interesting take on this Ann.:)