Archive through August 12, 2003
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TV ClubHouse: Archives: The daily rant.: Archive through August 12, 2003

Goddessatlaw

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 10:40 am EditMoveDeleteIP
So trip. In early July, MM says to me, "Hey, Goddess, we've done alot of running around on the weekends mostly to family schmidt, we need to get away by ourselves. I've got some business in Orlando, wanna go little girl?" Of course, I'm all about getting my native tan on and haven't graced Orlando with my presence in years. "Why not?" I say, and clear four days at the beginning of August. MM sends me a vacation package arranged by Ambassadair for a 4-day, 3 night stay at a Marriott located on the Disney property. We always stay at Marriotts, which are generally very nice and provide incentive points. Good deal all around. We get to the Orlando airport on schedule, MM takes off to his job site, and I head over with the group to our hotel to get us checked in and meet with a client who lives in the area.

Cut to Goddess at the Customer Service desk at Disney's Port Orleans Resort. Note that this is NOT a Marriott. I ask for the third time whether my room is ready, so that I might unpack and find somewhere to meet my client. The service rep says, yes it's been ready for awhile. I ask whether it's a king bed, non-smoking with a view. The service rep says "no, it's a twin double room with a rollaway, non-smoking and faces the parking lot." I politely responded "Ma'am, this is not the room we specified and paid for. We specifically requested a king size bed, smoking and a view." Service representative response? "Your room specifications are just a suggestion, this is the room we've given you." I'm still calm at this point, and said "could you please move us to a smoking room with a king size bed, and a view would be nice?" She pretended to look on her computer, then said "no, we don't have any more left."

So I'm standing there thinking maybe I'm a few screws short of a hardware store. I'm tired, cranky and obsessed with getting my meeting underway - maybe we weren't supposed to be in a Marriott, and maybe MM had only suggested our specifications, not demanded. I decide the situation would have to be handled by MM when he arrives, and ask the customer service rep whether a bellboy could give me a ride with my luggage to the assigned room (this is a huge and confusing property, by the way). "No, this is a pedestrian community you'll have to walk. Here's a map." I look at the map, and it doesn't even mark where I am at that moment, much less where I need to go. And just picture dragging 60 pounds of luggage to said joint of unknown location. It's hot, I'm tired and angry. One does not expect to hear "sucks to be you" from the customer satisfaction representative of a major tourist concern. I round up our tour assistant, and she at least manages to get my luggage sent to the room while I track down my client and find somewhere we can meet.

Who knew residential resorts close their major dining and cocktail lounges during the day? I wound up meeting my client at the outdoor poolside lounge, where the limit is one cocktail per person but all the $3.50 mini-bags of tostitos you'd like, and called it a meeting. We meet MM in the front lobby, and MM and I head off on foot (in the rain, mind you) to find our fabulous digs on our own. Now, I had decided by this point that I needed to put my bad attitude aside and convince MM we needed to make the best of the situation, whatever it was because WE NEEDED A VACATION. My efforts in this regard were laid to waste upon entering the room. Just opening the door, the stench of mold and must hit you. Look into the room, and what do you see but two double beds made up in nasty faux-quilts framed with stick-like Neverneverland head and footboards. Understand that MM is 6'4" and doesn't even have a footboard on our king bed because he bangs his feet. MM doesn't break stride, he heads right to the nightstand and picks up the phone. Meantime, I investigate the bathroom and to my horror realize a hairdryer has NOT been provided. I had been proud of myself for not bringing a hairdryer this time, because every hotel we'd ever stayed in provided them and it just took up luggage space. I hear the conversation MM is having with the front desk, which largely went the same as my conversation earlier - sucks to be you. MM is getting increasingly angry (especially after he saw our view of the parking lot over the weeds in between), and I hear him saying "you are not listening, I will pay more money however much, just move us." No dice. MM slams the phone down, and I talk him into accepting defeat on this issue. We decide rather than split from the resort and our group entirely, we'll ride it out and try to make an adventure of it. HAH!

We quickly found out that our only source for correct, complete and honest answers were coming from the bartenders. After getting some directions to the West Side, we ventured off in search of something resembling food. Now understand MM and I have no children, and thus have disposable income which we would have liked to spend on things like souvenirs, cocktails and nice dinners, maybe a few attractions like Epcot or the Pleasant Island clubs. One quick review of Disney food and attraction prices and we were cured. No wonder they print no prices in their literature - no one who had all their dogs on one leash would ever go! It's essentially $200.00 per person for a two-day pass to the Magic Kingdom, and only a little bit less for children. This for the privilege of spending even much more money on overpriced souvenirs and $8.00 hotdogs, which your children will surely harangue you to buy, and rarely being able to withstand the blazing sun long enough to make it through the lines to a ride or two. After having our mid-western sensibilities routinely offended by the price of simple hamburgers much less seafood, we finally found a place called "Bongos", which is Gloria Estefan's Cuban food joint on the property, complete with live Cuban band. The prices were extremely reasonable, even by midwestern standards, the food was sumptuous (especially the ceviche), and the atmosphere was great. No complaints there.

One major stop of the evening was at Sosa's cigar shop. We decided that the "non-smoking" ordinance on our room was just a suggestion, too, and MM gathered the smelliest collection of fine cigars one could contemplate under extreme circumstances. Only you can't smoke them in the bars or clubs. He smoked them very well in our room, though, and looked good doing it.

The next morning, we made it a point to get in our rental car and leave the property to spend money elsewhere. The maid had not yet cleaned the room when we returned in the afternoon, complete with our own cocktail provisions and mixers. After splashing around in the main pool for awhile, which was fine, we decided to NOT leave the property for dinner because we were too tired, and ventured into the resort restaurant for dinner. 1 hour wait and $45.00 steaks. Needless to say, we passed and went to the cafeteria for a light meal. It's a good thing we weren't that hungry, because we got out of there just barely under 50 bucks. Chicken planks, a cheeseburger and pizza. And this was the cheap joint.

More of the same the next day - late and inconvenient housekeeping, broken chairs at the poolside that had been there since we arrived, restaurants closed during the day, no adult-themed entertainment until after 7:00 p.m. when Pleasant Island opens (an area you are privileged to enter for $20.00 apiece so that you might have the luxury of spending much, much more money inside in order to do anything at all). Having had a full day of "enough already", we decide to head down to the West Side again for a nice seafood dinner. I get singled out and yelled at by the riverboat captain for smoking on board - as was almost everyone else. I gestured I couldn't hear him over the roar of the engine, and he yells "Look, lady, you're sitting on top of 100 gallons of gasoline." Now how am I supposed to know whether it's electric or gas, especially since two nights before everyone had been smoking on the same boat? I got rid of my cigarette. When we got off, the other couples on board said they couldn't hear him either and just continued to smoke. Nonetheless, the captain decides to wait for us to walk down the plank to fill us in somemore about smoking on board (ignoring everyone else). MM refrained from telling the captain "the only thing you have to do is go **** yourself", but it was a close variation on the theme. We head to this big paddleboat restaurant, I can't remember what it's named, and are told they have smoking seats available, but the area isn't open because it's raining. It's ALWAYS raining in Orlando. More "oh, you can go there, you just can't get there from here." Lousy, lousy service. Questionable food. Nice lounge area, but it didn't make up for the rest. We regularly will pay well over $100.00 for a nice dinner, but under the circumstances, $100.00 at this joint was too much.

Exit the paddleboat, run over to Pleasant Island in the rain and get in without paying. Don't ask how, we just ran into the area to get out of the rain and found we were in. It is pathetic the extent to which we took great pleasure in our unpaid access to the place. So we go to the jazz joint, thinking this was going to be the solution to all our problems and the answer to all our prayers. A nice surprise coming through the door - Sosa's had a cigar stand set up right inside the jazz joint. MM loads up again, I pay $7.00 for a pack of cigarettes (they cost less than half that where we come from) and we settle in to the nice quiet jazz club where there are no children and very few people. Nice music, good service. Could we get an ashtray? "You can't smoke that here, but you can outside in the rain." Oh, you can buy it here for much more than it's worth - you just can't smoke it here. Enough already.

We couldn't wait to leave. We were DYING to leave. Monday morning, a knock on the door at 8:30 a.m. from our habitually tardy maid. "You leaving today? 10:00 or 11:00?" We said 11:00 and she went away. MM and I head down to the pool for a little last bit of sun before having to vacate the room (6 hour before heading to the airport). As per instructions, our bags were packed and ready for the bellman to transfer to our busses. MM heads back to the room around 10:o0 to make sure they've been picked up, and the maid is standing outside the door, then follows MM into the room carrying on in broken english about the bellman stealing her tip. After trying to figure out what she was talking about, MM told her to leave, it wasn't time for us to leave yet. Sure enough, when MM and I went back to the room to clean up and leave, she was out there again with her manager who explained that the maid wanted her tip and believed that the bellboy had stolen it. MM explained we hadn't left a tip, and the maid said she wanted it now, then. MM threw them out of the room.

Number 1: It was not time to leave, she'd never shown up before 3:00 in the afternoon anyway, if we were going to leave a tip it would be when we checked out. Number 2: Gratuities for bellboy and maid were included in our trip package. Number 3: Nonetheless, if the cleaning service had been exceptional, we would have left a tip but Number 4: No way in hell was that inefficient begger going to get another dime out of us.

MM was so mad he un-Mickey Moused all the washcloths in the room and threw them in the corner (hey, Uncle Waltie - instead of paying people to turn washcloths into Mickey Mice, why not use that money for adequate housecleaning services?) Then he threatened to go whiz in the pool and on the towels as the only apparent means of expressing his disgust with the place. We were reduced to this - Uncle Waltie drove a 46-year old respected and educated professional man to threaten to piss in a public pool and on Mickey Mouse in outrage. Although he wouldn't have done it anyway, I paid homage to talking him out of it and let him know we'd complain loudly in print as soon as possible.

So trip once more - I go to the customer service desk and ask politely for two customer survey forms. The dude behind the desk asks a few more questions, because he doesn't know what a customer survey form is. Then he goes and asks, and comes back and says "we don't have any." After a moment of stunned silence, I said "well, is there an address you can give me where I can write to complain about the service at this resort?" He said, "No, we don't have an address to which you can write." Blast off time for Goddess. I told him that was exactly what was wrong with the resort, a complete lack of regard for the needs and requests of its patrons. He asked what had gone wrong, and I gave him a detailed list of the past four days. On each and every point, he basically said "sucks to be you." They must be highly trained in passing the buck. I told him I had never stayed in a less accommodating facility, nor would I ever again, and it was complete lunacy the extent to which a facility which is supposed to be in the happy people business refused to acknowledge the dissatisfaction of its customers. I also told him we had spent as little money as possible because of these failures, and completely thwarted their attempts to force massive spending as a precondition to staying at Disney World." Look at my hair, you wouldn't even give me a hairdryer." I was crazed at this point, and told him I'd find the address on my own.

Meantime, some of our fellow travellers had gotten together and were listening to me unload on our tour assistant. They acknowledged having exactly the same experience, and the tour assistant said she would be recommending her company discontinue all future such arrangments with Disney (this was the first time they'd booked there). She had her own problems with the general nastiness of the facility, and didn't really need my intervention to make such a recommendation.

So finally, FINALLY it's time to leave. It's raining. We're forced to line up in the rain for our Disney-provided bus to transport us to the airport. But first we have to identify our luggage. Which we do. In the rain. We get on the bus, MM looks out and sees the the bellboy has moved all the luggage out into the rain without loading it, and is standing under a tarpaulin doing nothing. I was sincerely afraid for him when MM saw his rain-soaked leather luggage just sitting there, and got up off the bus. Whatever happened was nasty and fast, he hasn't admitted to what he said, but our luggage was on the bus faster than MM was able to get back in his seat. Murder avoided, but just barely.

In short, NEVER AGAIN. NEVERNEVEREVER AGAIN! I had been concerned that the over-sugared children would cause us problems at Disney World. There wasn't a single child there who caused us any concern, they were all well-behaved and minded by their parents. It was the adults who were the problem. Ambassadair did not give us the trip we paid for, but Disney made it hell. If you wanted to be parted with your hard-earned money for massively overpriced food, accommodations, rides and souvenirs only to be told "sucks to be you" as a form of gratitude, go to Walt Disney World. They'll be more than happy to help you out.

Goddessatlaw

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 10:41 am EditMoveDeleteIP
AND I STILL DON'T HAVE A TAN BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS RAINING IN ORLANDO!!

Squaredsc

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 10:53 am EditMoveDeleteIP
roflmao gal. we've been waiting so long and you didn't disappoint.

you should've gotten on the small world ride.

Sweetbabygirl

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:05 am EditMoveDeleteIP
*SBG peers cautiously into the thread*

Were you able to get his and her mouseketeer ears?

*SBG runs like hell out the door*

Ladytex

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:22 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Oh dang ... I wasn't ready for that! Glad you're home, GAL, and without us having to take up a fund to bail you out of the Orlando jail!

Weinermr

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:34 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Now THAT's a rant.

Squaredsc

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:36 am EditMoveDeleteIP
gal ive really missed your dissertations. you add that certain something to the clubhouse.

Hippyt

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:38 am EditMoveDeleteIP
That rant deserves Rant of the Year Award!

Spitfire

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:46 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Oh my GAL. I hope you get refunded money or some other form of payment for all that crap.

....And I thought I had a awful vacation simply because of the rain.

Bobbie_552001

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 11:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
NOW that rant was worth waiting for!!!!

Goddessatlaw

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:00 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Guys, you don't understand - this is the rated G, Disney-approved, self-moderated version of the rant. If I printed my original rant, I'd be asked to leave the Board for cause (but you'd be laughing your hinies off). It was a veritable symphony of F-words and an ode to self-medication. God bless the bartenders, and God bless MM for packing enough aspirin to put the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in a coma. The mistake we made was in not quitting while we were behind. No mas, no mas.

Weinermr

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:03 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
GAL, but we DO understand. You showed remarkable restraint, and much creativity in making your rant available to the masses, not just to the XXX rated crowd. As one ranter to another, I tell you sincerely that you done good.

Goddessatlaw

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:04 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL, thanks Weinerman. It was a labor of hate. Not for ya'll, you understand - just Uncle Waltie.

Squaredsc

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:05 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
and the fact that you didn't kick anyones ass is simply amazing. but you can email me the xxx rated version.

Whoami

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:30 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I would like to think that the real Uncle Waltie would have rolled in his grave to see what Corporate America has done to his dream.

Remember the riverboat captain in California, who had worked for at least a decade there, and was going to lose his job because he had a mustache. One he'd had all his adult life. But Corporate Disney decided to implement a new "no facial hair" rule, and refused to grandfather the rule to those who were already employed, and already had facial hair. Never mind the fact that Walt himself had a mustache.

When I marched drum corps, the big thing was to do a show in CA, then march in the parade in Disneyland. The corps would be invited to the parade, then after doing the parade, the members were given free passes to the park for the day. Now, the marching units must apply, and pay a fee to march in the parade, and of course pay their own way into the park after the parade.

That was definetly a classic rant GAL. If I ever get invited to head out towards a Disney resort, I'll be sure to say "no thanks!"

Karuuna

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:39 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Aw, heck, my son and I just got back from a Disney World resort vacation, and our experience was so much the opposite! This is the third time I've been there in the last 7 or 8 years, and I have to say, each and every time it's been wonderful and the service has been grand.

Our trip package included round trip airfare for two, 6 day park hopper tickets (meaning you can go any time to any Disney park however often you want during those 6 days) all loding, and all transportation. Less than $2500 for the two of us, flying across country. When we landed at our resort they met us at the van and took over our luggage, which was politely and efficiently ported to our rooms, and the same when we left. We had a food court at our resort, which allowed us to choose different meals (pizza or mac and cheese for the kiddo, deli sandwiches or veggie trays for the vegetarian mom). If you bought the souvenier mug, you got free soft drinks and coffee at the food court all week (a great deal for $2.50 per person). We had 6 swimming pools, excellent maid service, and all round a great time.

I will agree that the prices for food and souveneirs were outrageous; but since we had a fridge in our room, we saved by stocking up on snack items at a local grocery store, and eating breakfast and lunch there.

Sorry you had such an awful experience, but next time you go, call me for a recommendation.

Goddessatlaw

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Nuh uh, Miss Karuuna. From here on out, it's Renaissance or bust. I'd be hard pressed to get MM south of the Mason-Dixon line at this point, he's so hostile. But I'm glad to hear you were able to enjoy the experience. Everyone deserves to enjoy their vacations.

Whoami

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 01:01 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I'm glad to hear your vacation was good Kar! I'd hate to think the Disney resorts were all that trashy!

Grooch

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 01:04 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
GAL, sorry you had a lousy time.

Do you think you would have gotten a better response if you had ranted at the tour assistant instead of the hotel people? The tour operator could have called them up and threatened to pull all their business from them, which might have gotten results. Or the operator could have actually put the whole group in a better hotel.

I heard Howard Stern have a similiar rant when he went on vacation with his family to one of the islands. He was teh only one there and they wouldn't give him towels, or chairs to lay out on the beach (because they were reserved, though there was no one tehre) and they wouldn't let him sit where he wanted on the beach. He even offered them more money. Same room problems also. So that night he called his travel agent and the next morning it was a whole new ball game and they treated him very well at the resort.

Goddessatlaw

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 01:19 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Maybe so, Grooch, but the other tour members who did complain to our guide got no results - it was a mistake we made by trying to be congenial, stay within striking distance of our tour assistant and not let our objections cast shade on the tour overall. Which I think both Disney and Ambassadair bank on - peoples' general willingness to try to keep the peace at their own expense. We probably won't book through a tour company in the future - if there's a problem, we want to know where the buck stops. In the mean time, both Ambassadair and Disney are hearing about it in bold print.

Mak1

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 01:51 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
GAL, I'm sorry you had such a ruined vacation.

But I'm so glad you gave us your rant! I'll be laughing for days over this hands-down Rant of the Year!! (Not laughing at your distress, just at your eloquent way of telling it.)

Grooch

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 01:53 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
GAL, I hope you give them the x-rated version. :0)

Karuuna

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 02:22 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
GAL, I think you are very right to write Disney. From what I've seen, they are extremely conscientious about guest services, and their training of their employees to be excellent service people is legendary, and has been held up as a model to service businesses everywhere.

I've stayed in three DisneyWorld resort hotels, and have also stayed in countless hotels nationwide. My experience has always been that the Disney hotel service has been far exemplary to most hotels with a minor glitch or two. When I've complained, it's been fixed immediately.

If this really was one of the Disney RESORT hotels (and not just a hotel near Disney), I imagine they will reform or be dropped from the Disney resort group.

Here's one fun story about my experiences with Disney service. I was staying at the DisneyWorld Dolphin Resort hotel (definitely one of their more upscale and expensive sports) for a business conference. I blew off the last day of the conference and went to Epcot for the day (I'm such a bad kid, and still play hookey!). When we boarded the ferry, my friend casually asked how tall the dolphin sculptures were on the top of the hotel. The ferry hand apologized profusely for not knowing.

Apparently he called for help. When our ferry arrived at Epcot, a guest attendant met us and asked if we were the ones inquiring about the dolphin. Not only did he give us the height, he told us when they were built, what they were made of, and how long they took to design and build. I was just amazed. It's not like they would have lost a customer or anything for not knowing, but the effort they went to finding out and then letting us know just blew me away.

Rabbit

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 03:45 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Note to self: When going to Disney World wear a, "I'm from Colorado" t-shirt, not "I'm a Hoosier."

<Wonders if Woodpecker had visited D-World the week before GAL?>

Twiggyish

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 04:25 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
We were at Disney for 6 days and had a great time..but then, we've been going for years and know the ropes..LOL You can email Disney and they will respond.

One year we had car problems. Disney fixed the problem at no cost. Another year we had a problem with an employee at Epcot. Disney gave us free tickets for our next visit. They will respond. They've built their reputation on it.