Archive through September 27, 2003
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TV ClubHouse: Archives: A Question Of Scruples (ARCHIVES): Archive through September 27, 2003

Karuuna

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 08:51 am EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL, Lori! Remember, I live alone! That's my excuse!

karuuna thinks she and Lori could get into an awful lot of trouble together!

Squaredsc

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 09:10 am EditMoveDeleteIP
lori is innocent, and kar i totally feel ya on that one.

Heyltslori

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 09:25 am EditMoveDeleteIP
ty Square, and Kar...I live alone too!

Juju2bigdog

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 10:07 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I think I would assess the situation first. Maybe one of the people sitting with the wife would actually WANT to trade with the old man instead. But chances are, the man and the wife both have middle seats on a full plane because they planned poorly, and they probably shouldn't be asking strangers to bail them out of their poor planning. If I had a kicking-seat child behind me, I would change in a heartbeat. If I had a crying child ahead of me, I would change. If either the husband or wife were disabled or the husband told a really good story about why he has to sit next to his wife, I would change.

So, I guess the answer is, it depends.

Did I ever tell the story of how I was flying on business one time, and I got stuck in a middle seat next to very large man who was on the aisle? He was obviously uncomfortable with how his size inconvenienced his fellow travelers, and he said if the plane wasn't full, he'd find another seat. Once the boarding dies down, he moved to another seat. However, they then let on the standby passengers, and who should come sit beside me but a man who was twice as large as the first one! AND he had about a nine month old baby! My heart sank. He proceeded to sit down, and his huge bulk actually made a sort of shelf in front of him on which he sat the baby. It was the cutest baby in the world, and the two of them made babycake play the entire flight! It was one of the cutest things I ever saw.

Bob2112

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 10:13 am EditMoveDeleteIP
<...spins Dawg's head backwards...>

Bob I usually just get stuck in the overhead compartment!

Whoami

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 04:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I would have to say depends. Based on pretty much everything everyone else has already posted.

Redstar

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 06:18 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I exchanged seats with someone once, and ended up in the middle of an English rugby team.

The answer is NO, NO, NO, a thousand times NO!

Heyltslori

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 06:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Oh my. Did you hear that Kar?

Karuuna

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 07:01 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I not only heard it, I'm taking notes! PS - Ms Lori, you should see my new landscape guy!

Tess

Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 07:53 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Yes I would absolutely...and I have.

Fortunately, I can no longer fly so I will never be faced with this question again.

Midlifer

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 08:31 am EditMoveDeleteIP
yes

Heyltslori

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 08:57 am EditMoveDeleteIP
TGIF Everyone!! :)

Today's question is: Suppose your sexy new landscape guy decided to peel off his sweat soaked shirt and then he walked up to you and you smiled and then he smiled...ya know that kind of slow sexy smile and he sort of tilted his head to one side and then squinted a bit because of the sun glistening off of his hot muscular body and then you take an ice cube out of the glass you are holding and you offer to....

Oh..my.. uh..sorry. <splashes face with ice water>

Today's REAL question is: A friend asks you to write a reference for a job he/she is applying for. You feel your friend is poorly qualified for the job. Do you refuse?

Eliz87

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 09:02 am EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL I liked the first scenario! My mind kept screaming, "I'm married! I'm married!" hehe

Anyway....

No, I wouldn't refuse. I would just word it in a way that would say that my friend is a hard worker, ambitious, etc. but would be careful not to say that he/she would be good for that job specifically.

Mware

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 09:12 am EditMoveDeleteIP
<...encourages everyone to remember that Lori is innocent...>

Jagger

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 09:12 am EditMoveDeleteIP
No I wouldn't refuse. The way a person acts around you may have no reflection on how they will do on a job.

Now if he were applying for a job that I was the one deciding to hire him or not I wouldn't hesitate to tell him I don't think he/she could do the job.

Wink

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 09:15 am EditMoveDeleteIP
When I came in from the garden I would attend to the reference. I agree with Eliz87. Everyone has some positive qualities and I would highlight those rather than address anything specific to the job.

Karuuna

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 10:17 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I was going to answer the question, but I have to go check on the landscaping project, er, take a cold shower. I'll be back later!

Tess

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 12:26 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I would write a very carefully worded letter....and have.

Lumbele

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 12:41 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
It would take a while but I'd find a way to state positive attributes without specifically recommending him/her for this particular job.
Time to go make more icecubes.

Karuuna

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 01:05 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Okay, serious answer, now that I'm cold and showered (brrrrr!).

I'd sit down with the friend and ask him/her why s/he thinks s/he is qualified for the job, and why s/he wants that job. I really value honesty in my friends, and sometimes that means talking about difficult things. I'm the same with my employees. I can say honestly and caringly, "I don't see this job as a good fit for you", without disparaging them as a person. It's in the realm of that kind of caring and honesty that I think all relationship flourishes.

So, if a friend of mine was poorly qualified for something, I love them enough to talk with them about pursuing a job that may very well be brain damaging to them. After talking it over, if s/he still wanted the recommendation, I would write it based on the positive issues of our conversation - his/her strong desire to have the job and do well in it. Ability to do a job isn't just qualifications, and except for highly specialized areas, the person most motivated to do the job well is the best qualified, regardless of experience.

Whoami

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 01:21 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
....can't....quite....remember....what....the....real....question.....was.....

I'll come back when my eyes aren't quite so glazed over.....

Bigd

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 02:14 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I lost a friend over this very issue

Twiggyish

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 03:37 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I would find positive but truthful things to say and write the reference.
It's not up to me to determine her qualifications for the job. Her prospective employer would make that decision. She's asking for a reference and that's what I would do.

Whoami

Friday, September 26, 2003 - 03:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
OK, I think I can concentrate on the real question now! Whew!

Anyway, I would make my reference be a character reference, and point out her qualities as a good worker. As has been pointed out, it's not my place to decided if she's qualified.

Heyltslori

Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 06:31 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Today's question is:

The service department at the garage forgets to charge you for the $6 oil filter. You think the labor charge is too high anyway. Do you mention the oil filter?


My answer would be No. I'm gonna tell myself that they just threw it in because I have a nice smile. :)