Archive through July 23, 2003
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TV ClubHouse: Archives: The daily rant.: Archive through July 23, 2003

Max

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:28 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Um, have you told him how you feel? Unless and until you've explained precisely what you feel about his actions and what you'd like to see instead, then you'll continue having the same problem. If you've had that conversation and he's still doing the same behavior, then he must not care much about your feelings -- at which point, I'd have to wonder why you want him around at all.

Seriously, though, you can't expect to keep doing the same behavior over and over again and get different results. You need to change something. As Dr. Phil says, everything in a relationship is a negotiation. Negiotiate yourself a better deal, girlfriend! :)

Whit4you

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:45 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Sweetbabygirl - don't know if your interested in my advice or opinions but I'm offering it here... and trust me I'm only saying 1% of what I'd like to say. :)

Don't put up with that shi* - either he does the cooking (or brings home a dinner) or he does the dishes period. From the sounds of your post he doesn't live there, he just came over ate your cooking, let you clean up after him, crashed on your bed, got laid then took off. If your feeling like a maid it's because you're allowing yourself to be treated like one. And you can, and perhaps should put a stop to that.

Well I have alot more to say if you'd like to hear it WhitInWa@aol.com (please put Whit** in topic)

Otherwise take care of yourself - and perhaps work on ways to improve your self-esteem, you're a special gal and definately don't need to be treated like that hun! :)

Whitney

Goddessatlaw

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:21 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
SBG, make him take you out for dinner and don't give him any bouncity-bounce-bounce until you are in the car on the way home. After that, he'll want to take you out for dinner every night. Problem solved.

Squaredsc

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:29 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
ahh in the car is a good idea as long as it's not a compact.

Goddessatlaw

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Squared, compact cars can be dealt with as long as you don't mind snagging the ankle of your stockings on your earrings.

Squaredsc

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:38 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
ahh, duly noted.

Sweetbabygirl

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:48 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks to all that responded to my previous post. However, I must clear up a few things, as unfortunately I gave the impression that I am a mealy-mouthed yes-woman and my boyfriend is a non-feeling caveman.

Let me start by saying that in terms of relationships, I have a high self-esteem. Being a Scorpion, my family and friends will tell you that I have no problem giving anyone a piece of my mind when necessary. In the three years that I have been with Frank, he has treated me with the utmost respect and is the only man I have ever been with that actually listens, is very generous when it comes to my wants and needs and most importantly is a man of his word, something that was seriously lacking in my previous relationships.

That said, my rant stemmed from frustration at his not going to the ATM after dinner like he said he would. What I didn’t include in the previous post is that he came to my place tired, commuting to Philly straight from his job in Voorhees, New Jersey. I also didn’t mention that he is always tired when he comes over on his workdays, so after dinner all he wants to do is sleep for an hour or two so that the rest of the evening is about us. We discussed how I felt after the “bouncity-bounce-bounce”; he apologized profusely, even quickly dressing and going to the ATM to get the funds needed. However, it turned out that the emergency was not so urgent after all, so I will return the money when I see him later....NOT! (Hey, a girl’s gotta have extra change, hee!) Furthermore, there have been times where we have done the dishes together after I have cooked dinner....hell, there have even been times where he does dinner AND the dishes!!

I apologize for the misunderstanding and again, thanks to all that posted.

SBG :)

Weinermr

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 01:46 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I'm so happy we got that settled.

Heyltslori

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 01:57 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
lol Weiner :)

Max

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 02:07 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
<note to self: Next time SBG has a rant, just pat her on the back and say, "It'll be okay, honey!" :)>

Seriously, glad the situation wasn't as bad as it first sounded! :)

Whit4you

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 03:03 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
sbg - YA I was relunctant to post here because I think it's more of a venting thread then a 'group help' thread, but you said you went through that everytime he came over and it was impossible for me not to speak up. As long as your happy that's all that matters. Take care :)

Spygirl

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 03:06 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Sometimes a good rant is all we need...or is it a good bouncity-bounce-bounce?

Reader234

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 07:49 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can not hate, I cannot say mean bad things about people who are very mean, minipulative, BULLIES!! God, I hate my life. I HATE LIES!!!

I need to escape, why oh why is BB not on? SOMETHING take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg

Sometimes, life sucks, and if one more person tells me that what doesnt KILL me makes me stronger I will screa,

Bobbie_552001

Monday, July 21, 2003 - 08:14 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Wow...I'm glad that a lot of anger was vented here earlier. And although I had decided to keep my nose out of it...I found that I couldn't. I was married for 23 years, and have been divorced now for almost four. People ask me everyday don't you regret throwing 23 years away?? I didn't throw anything away, that marriage gave me three wonderful, bright children, and there were happy times...but what I learned from that marriage and the personal growth that I've had since then has made me who I am today. Relationships are give and take...in an ideal relationship it would be 50/50, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. But is that reality? I can't always give my 50% so some days he may have to pick up the slack and other days I pick it up for him. Thats a relationship. Through my work as a Hospice nurse some of the best caregivers that I've ever had the priviledge of meeting have been men. I see my father taking wonderful care of my mother who was recently diagnosed with cancer. I only hope that someday I am fortunate enough to live the rest of my life with a man like that. They are out there...I see and talk to them everyday...so Marysafan when you chose to categorize men the way that you did...I find that terribly unfair and very untrue.

Tabbyking

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 10:06 am EditMoveDeleteIP
wow, i think i am fortunate to have come a long way since 1972 and the men i have met have evolved, too!
love/marriage is give and take and for all the times i feel i am the one giving more, there are the next times, where he is giving more.
my husband cooks, does most of the yard work, maintains what he can on the vehicles, and commutes 92 miles each way.
i do most of the cooking, cleaning and laundry, oversee the kids' homework, do the vet, doctor, teacher conference, handle the budget, laundry--the day-to-day stuff.
my husband changed diapers--evenings and weekends, he changed as many as i did--takes the kids for 3 or 4 days at least once a year for me to go away with girlfriends or my sister without feeling he is the babysitter ;>); he knows they are his kids, too, and actually enjoys being home from work and just being daddy fulltime. it's a luxury for him, too, as my break is for me.
we got married when i was 32 and he was 41, so we both were used to being on our own. we were both pretty much on the same track and knew what we wanted.
i have days i want to bean him over the head and i'm sure he feels the same way sometimes, but it's usually over nothing things. over-all, i have a great guy and i think over-all he has a nice gal.
once sweetbaby pointed out her man's attributes and hardwork to herself, she realized how maybe part of her rant was not about him at all! it was an evening SHE wanted to be taken care of, and she took care of HIM, instead. on reflection, she pointed out all his qualities and what he gave to her--the commute after a long day's work to name just one.

Marysafan

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:46 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
While I am happy for those of you who have relationships in which you are satisfied, my remarks were based on national surveys. Sadly, in most relationships women are still carrying most of the load and doing most of the work.

And I know that my remarks don't represent ALL men but they do represent a significant number. I know that while some men turn into wonderful caregivers, others bail when their spouse faced a health crisis.

I know several men who appear to be loving and devoted husbands, but also have relationships other women.

My viewpoint is not based on my personal experience. I have a wonderful husband who has shared in the raising of his children and in the caring for the house. But I do believe we are in the minority. The divorce rate isn't as high as it is for nothing.

Squaredsc

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 05:44 am EditMoveDeleteIP
my classroom supervisor is a !@$##$%%^.

Texannie

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 06:10 am EditMoveDeleteIP
We have been working on a cruise for spring break, you know EIGHT MONTHS AWAY!!!!!! In just the one week that we have been working on this (not months..5 little days) they have sold out of all the quad rooms, which means we pay more and get split up!!!!!! grrrrr

Bobbie_552001

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 06:31 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Thats a really popular time for a cruise Texannie...but have you tried booking it through cruise.com? Its a great site with great prices...just a thought.

Sweetbabygirl

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 07:30 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dagnabbit, who do I have to schtup to get my paychecks Direct Deposited?!!

The application was filled out a MONTH ago....it takes 2-3 weeks to get done, what's the friggin' holdup?!! Also, I haven't gotten my medical card yet. Now I've been here for a month and a half, and the form was completed during that time so it shouldn't be taking this long. Hopefully nothing will happen to me before I get the damned card!

I'm used to working at places where stuff like this is taken care of as soon as you begin work, so this waiting crap is annoying me to no end.

Weinermr

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 08:45 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I'll direct deposit 'em for ya SBG.

Oops. I didn't say that.

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 08:49 am EditMoveDeleteIP
discreetly passes the roll of tinfoil to Squared, Texannie and SBG

Squaredsc

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 08:57 am EditMoveDeleteIP
rofl weinermr. thx gal, its aubergine foil right?

Goddessatlaw

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 09:03 am EditMoveDeleteIP
But of COURSE!

Squaredsc

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 09:12 am EditMoveDeleteIP