Children being left in vehicles and left to die. Why is this happening?
TV ClubHouse: GD Archives: Children being left in vehicles and left to die. Why is this happening?
Scorpiomoon | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 02:49 pm     There's something seriously bothering me and I came here to vent and get feedback. In the last two days, I have read THREE separate recent news stories about people leaving their children in vehicles--parked outside in extreme heat--for hours at a time. All the children died. Why the hell does this happen? This is even more deplorable then drunk driving! Who in their right mind leaves a child alone in a car/SUV/whatever IN THE SUN for any length of time? I don't have children. But I'd like to think, if I did, they would be with me at all times to ensure nothing would happen to them. It might be an inconvenience at times, but geez, they are CHILDREN! Can anyone--especially parents--please explain to me why people do this? How much more preventative information do people need? Why do people think it is ok to leave them alone like this? Do you leave children alone to punish them? Do people think children don't dehydrate or are not impacted by heat? WTF are people thinking? It makes me so sad to think of a child, alone, dying a slow death. Oh my gosh... The more I think about it, the more it upsets me and breaks my heart. I don't understand why this happens. |
Zachsmom | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 03:13 pm     because Scorpiomoon...some people should not have children..and unfortunately..when they do have them..the children suffer and a handful die needless deaths. I read the article the other day about the 3 & 5 year old boys whose foster mother left them in their SUV..she ran a daycare. Scary! My son is always with me when we are out. I could not see any reason for leaving him in a vehicle even for 1 minute alone. I am petrified in this day and age that he would be taken..granted I always make the joke that they (who ever took him) would surely bring him back 5 minutes later lol..but seriously..I have the greatest fear that he would be abducted..it can happen in the blink of an eye. |
Faerygdds | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 03:45 pm     I live in N. Texas... this happens all the time here (not that that makes it any less tragic, but speaking factually rahter than emotionally) I do not know which case you are talking about, but so far this summer and part of last summer we've had let's see... 1 child who fell asleep on the van ride home from a daycare outing. No one noticed for 3 hours... 1 child who fell asleep on the school bus and got locked inside, but was thankfully found very quickly and is ok. Last summer there was the waitress who forgot to take her child to daycare. She drove straight to work and didn't realize what she had done untiol she came out at 3 pm after her shift. In fact I remember about 3 last year that were parents that forgot to take thier children to daycare (or they thought they had) and had gone to work. I don't have kids, but I'd like to think I'd check my car before I locked it up! These deaths are tragic and senseless, but I don't honestly believe that ANYONE intentionally locks a child in a car to die. I think that some people don't realize how quickly a car can heat up in the sun (as in running in to the store). And I think some people do stupid things when they've yet to engage thier brains in the morning, but I don't think people intentionally do this. Again.. it's sad and sensless.. and in the state of Texas it'll get you charged with murder (parent or not)! And that's how it should be... |
Faerygdds | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 03:48 pm     BTW -- I totally agree that "running into the store" and leaving the kids in the car is a REALLY stupid thing to do and VERY dangerous, but MOST deaths we have here (in Texas) aren't of that nature -- usually it's the "hidden" child or the forgetful parent. |
Emeraldfire | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 07:10 pm     I live in Louisiana and this has happened here as well. It is horrific. Tonight on the news a reporter did a piece on this subject. He sat in his car with the engine off and the windows rolled up for 20 minutes to show people what it does to an adult. At the end of the 20 minnutes he emerged full of sweat and saying he was light-headed and sleepy. It's even more dangerous for a child because they can't open the door and get relief. I have never left my children in the car alone for even a minute and I never would. I can't imagine why a parent would even think of leaving their child in a car. It's selfish and heartless. |
Wargod | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 09:08 pm     To add to what Zmom said about the day care worker and the 3 and 5 year old. That happened across the street from where my son plays baseball. It was 100 degrees here Tuesday. She was their foster mother. Story is here. Every year, the local stations start psa's about how hot cars get in the summer. They stick thermometors in cars and lock them up to show how quickly it can get so hot. They repeat these stories all summer. I can't understand why or how people do this. We not only won't leave our kids in the car, we try not to go out during the day when its this hot. Even a quick trip to the store is uncomfortable. Bringing the kids home from school (which is about 1 mile) they will be soaked with sweat when we get home. I'm with Emeraldfire, not only is it selfish and heartless, I can't imagine anything more cruel than leaving children locked in a car for hours when its 100+ degrees outside. |
Babyruth | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 09:19 pm     Something about that story makes it seem less like a case of manslaughter and more like murder. |
Wargod | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 09:30 pm     I agree. |
Eliz87 | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 10:44 pm     Well, times have changed. When I was a kid, I would stay in the car all the time while my mom ran into the store or whatever. It used to be no big deal. Of course, I think people who are leaving their kids in the car worry about their safety and lock the doors and roll the windows all the way up, thus letting the temperature get way too high in the car. I really think it's just due to a lack of common sense. There's many people who do this to pets too. |
Eliz87 | Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 10:45 pm     Oh, yes, and those were the days when states didn't require that children be in carseats either. I don't know how my poor mother managed driving around with a 1- or 2-year-old unrestrained! The horror! :-) |
Kimmo | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 12:57 am     I can remember being left in the car while my mom went into the store, but I'm sure we were at least 9 years old before that happened-- So we could unlock a door and open it for air, or *manually* roll down the window, and were not immobilized by car seats/ boosters! It seems like most of these cases are with children who are too small/young to do anything to "save themselves" (not that they should have to). Most cars nowadays have electric windows, if the car is off a child can't open the window! Then the car seats...I didn't think I'd get off on this tangent, but technological conveniences and regulating the vehicular safety of kids doesn't do much for kids who are left alone in cars by people who care more about getting to their job on time than making sure their children got to daycare okay. |
Scorpiomoon | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 01:18 am     Thanks guys for replying to my initial post. You reminded me of things I had forgotten while I was emmersed in anger. All of your replies made me feel better. |
Riviere | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 07:03 am     I'm with you Eliz, my mom would think nothing of telling me to stay in a car (hot Georgia summer) when she visited a friend, or shopped, to stay with my 3yo brother.. We'd stay 5 minutes or 2 hours depending on her whims, but we were never locked in.. Today children and pets are all at the mercy of theft & kidnap conscious owners! I say, if you worry about it enough to lock it up inside a car that will reach 120 degrees in a few minutes, don't you love it enough to leave it at home or take it with you out of the car? |
Chiparock | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 08:04 am     Riviere: "...don't you love it enough to leave it at home or take it with you out of the car?" Amen. If I absolutely MUST leave my dog in the car on a hot day (to pick up pizza, for example), I park in front of the place (illegally!) with my hazard flashers on, car running, and air conditioner going. |
Ophiliasgrandma | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 09:27 am     Playing the devils' advocate just a bit when it appears to be a case of just plain forgetting a child in a car (not the one's where they are knowingly left while some jerk of a parent runs in to the store for 'just a minute')...how many of us have left our purse, briefcase, etc. sitting on the roof of our car and driven away? I once left an open umbrella on my roof and was quite shocked when it came rolling down the windshield when I backed out of the garage. |
Texannie | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 10:54 am     My kids may annoy the hell out me at times, but I do tend to think a little more highly of them than my purse! |
Faerygdds | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 12:45 pm     OpiliasG: That's why I added the caveat of thier brains not being quite engaged yet... The case I was thinkning of... the mother who left her baby in the car while she went to work because she forgot to take him to daycare... I can remember her being on the news when it happened. They showed her wailing around her car. She was absolutely hysterical! This was something that was completely unintentional... and while I felt horrified for the child... I also felt horrified for the mother because it is something that I could tell would haunt her every day of her life. |
Kimmo | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 01:41 pm     I have been thinking about the waitress example...It is sad that she was apparently so preoccupied with work, overworked and not together enough remember to take her child to daycare. Maybe her child was sleeping for her not to notice him/her during the trip. Maybe it was a really short car trip. I don't think it was intentional....The story just initially made me think that the child was not top of her list of priorities-- Getting to work was, which could have been because of needing money to provide for her child, etc, but it seemed odd to me, like not seeing the forest for the trees. |
Azriel | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 06:09 pm     When I worked at the tanning salon, I looked out and saw a car with 3 children in it. The children looked to be about 6, 3 and a year old. The baby was standing in the passenger seat leaning it's head out the open window and bouncing and bobbing in and out the window. The 6 year old was sitting in the driver's seat pretending to drive the car. The 3 year old was in the backseat leaning over and talking to the 6 year old. The baby leaning out the window was scaring me to death. I wasn't sure if their parent was in the liquour store next door or in the tanning salon. I walked outside and talked to the kids. All the windows to the car were open and the keys were in the ignition of the car! The oldest said his mom was in the tanning salon. I was more than a little angry I got another employee to watch the children and I went and pounded on the women's tanning room door and asked her to come out. She was in a 20 minute bed which by the time you get dressed and undressed it takes at least 30 minutes. She had talked to me for about 10 minutes before she even got in the bed, too. So she was planning on leaving 3 babies in the car alone for at least 40 minutes. I told her as calmly as I could that I saw her youngest about to fall out of the window on his head and that it was dangerous to leave the children in the car and she could not do that at our tanning salon. Well, the kicker to this is that the woman got angry with ME for telling her how to take care of her children. She honestly found NOTHING wrong with leaving her children in the car and proudly told me that she did it ALL THE TIME! I told her that she wouldn't be doing it while tanning at our salon and if I saw her do it again I would call the police and child protection. She left in a big huff and promptly went home and called Kady and complained about my behavior and demanded her money back from the tanning package she had bought (for anyone that doesn't know Kady from the board owns the salon) Kady told her no way on the refund and that she was lucky that she wasn't there because she would have called the police I feel so sorry for those children and I think I probably would have been doing them a favor if I had called the police. |
Hippyt | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 07:00 pm     Well,Good for you Azriel for doing something about it,and telling the Mother what she needed to hear,she might not have listened,but you did the right thing. |
Chiparock | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 07:05 pm     Azriel, just a suggestion: call the child protection agency in your area. In my state, it's called the Department of Children and Families (DCF). They may choose to investigate how those children are cared for (or neglected), which would perhaps serve as a wake-up call to that woman. You should be able to alert them anonymously, or at least have your name kept confidential. |
Pamy | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 07:23 pm     Good for you Azriel!!! More people should get involved like you! |
Scorpiomoon | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 08:32 pm     Azriel! You are my hero! The thing that frustrates me in these kinds of situations is that I (and I'm sure others) feel so helpless. And when it comes to their kids (and pets) people feel this sense of ownership--as though they can do whatever they want and no one can tell them otherwise. It's hard to get up the courage to face someone you just know is going to get defensive. But you did! Let's hope the kids benefit because of your fortitude. |
Pamy | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 08:42 pm     I think the worst part of the story is that this woman was at a tanning salon and did this!! I could almost understand a single mom, low on cash(unable to get sitter)running into the market to get food for her babies but this woman was TANNING! a totally unnecessary event!!!!(I know it is necessary for some but not with kids in the car) I was wondering how the kids were dressed, cool new clothes? if not then why was she wasting money on tanning! |
Azriel | Friday, July 11, 2003 - 11:52 pm     Well, as an afternote, a month later we saw in the paper that this woman had a wreck and she was found to be DUI. We also found out that she had been on probation for drug use. I hope her children are safe now and I probably should have done more at the time. It is hard to interfere and you are also afraid that you might be doing the wrong thing. Some people innocently make stupid mistakes with their kids. I didn't know any background on this woman. I only reacted because I was just so mad at the time. I was really frightened at what might have happened to the baby leaning out the window if I hadn't happened to look out the door. Keep in mind this was outside a liquor store and close to a busy road, too. Anyone could have snatched those kids and disappeared into nowhere in a flash. I know I've always been way overprotective with my children, maybe it came from growing up in a big city and having a policeman for a father. It's just gets me how people can be so careless with the precious lives of their children. |
Tabbyking | Saturday, July 12, 2003 - 12:19 am     when i was on grand jury for a year i had a 30-year-old babysitter who had a two-year-old. she was supposed to be babysitting my 5 year-old daughter. several months into the job, my daughter asked me if she was supposed to stay in the car when we arrived at the grocery store. i asked why, because i had no idea what she was talking about. turns out, she was babysitting the 2-year-old while the babysitter shopped, had haircuts, went to parties, etc. they would be left in the car, sometimes for more than an hour. i was livid. on the other hand, i have a cousin who lost a baby many years ago when she left her in the car for just moments. the baby was only 6 or 7 weeks old. my cousin had been to an emergency room with the baby who had a high fever and a respiratory problem. the doctor gave my cousin a prescription and told her to get it filled immediately. my cousin pulled up the the front of the drugstore, where the med had been called in. she left the baby in her carseat. it was not a hot day; it was in february or march. she was inside the store for about 3 minutes. when she got back to the car, the baby wasn't breathing. she could not be resuscitated. my cousin went to jail and was in for 3 months before there was a trial for manslaughter. she was devastated, almost lost her marriage, etc. was it right to leave the baby in the car even briefly? obviously not. but she wasn't doing it selfishly as we hear so often...the e.r. doctor testified that the baby died from the respiratory infection it had, not from heat or lack of air, basically it was SIDS and my cousin could have probably done nothing to save her baby even if she had been there... there was a man in san jose who went into his cousin's house to play video games and watch cartoons for 5 hours. his 5-month-old son died in the car. a woman with a newborn went to a casino and left the baby in the car for 6 hours. that baby died, too. it doesn't matter if it's a minute or an hour--it's not right to leave a kid in the car. but i do feel for my cousin, while i am angry at the others who were blatantly irresponsible. |
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