Canada: The World's Military Savior?
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TV ClubHouse: Archives: 2003 February: Canada: The World's Military Savior?
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Archive through February 21, 2003 25   02/21 11:26am

Goddessatlaw

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:13 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I have it on good authority that Mexico intends to commence bombing Canada as soon as things really get hopping in the gulf. People wonder why the U.S. doesn't care about the illegal immigrants coming over from Mexico - we don't care because we know they're just on their way to Canada to back up the air assault with a ground invasion. The plans were put into action about 60 years ago, when their foot soldiers began their surreptitious migration north by way of the U.S. At this rate, they'll reach Canada by the year 2050. By the way, they have TWO WWI tanks, a few dozen very merry soldiers on donkeys, a couple of wandering mariachi bands, some great tequila, even better cigars and no real reason to invade except why not? I expect them to head south again fairly shortly after realizing how cold the great white north really is. No need for alarm.

Kaili

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:15 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I wonder if puerto Rico has any plans to join (or deals made already...)

Squaredsc

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:22 am EditMoveDeleteIP
gal, glad to see you back in action, bob, roflmao. darn, just when i plan on moving to florida.

Babyruth

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:25 am EditMoveDeleteIP
ROFL at your posts, Goddess!
(and the whole thread!)

Adven

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:41 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Mexicans and Puerto Ricans!!! Why are they sticking their nose in this? Why can't we just have a war, with a little insurrection thrown in, without everyone else feeling they need to get involved? If the Cayman Islands joins the fray this could get truly ugly.

Kaili

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:49 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Hey, if Canada wants to take the US, they are going to have a lot of responsibility to take on. And Puerto Rico would become their territory by default. Since the statehood measures are so contraversial down there, maybe they want to be a province?

You have to look at the big picture, Adven!

Goddessatlaw

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:52 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I envision the Battle of the Drunken Bookends taking place somewhere around Wichita, complete with flying squirrels, mariachi bands, and three antique tanks chasing around in a circle. This is the type of event Americans plan wienie roasts around. I'll bring the s'mores.

Wink

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
And then there will be a fight and a hockey game will break out.

Goddessatlaw

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 07:57 am EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL - or a fiesta.

Sawheel17

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 11:26 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Adven, how you gonna invade the U.S. if you're keeping "the sticks to the ice"? By the way,I love Canada.

Twiggyish

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 01:48 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Adven, do you think any poll or vote in Florida would work? We do have hanging chads...

Squaredsc

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 02:08 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
roflmao twiggy. the last big vote in florida didn't go to well.

Neko

Friday, February 21, 2003 - 05:12 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
"And then there will be a fight and a hockey game will break out. "

Yes but if that does, well know who'll win that.
*Runs away as fast as she can to hide behind a mountie*

Neko

Sunday, February 23, 2003 - 03:59 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
LOL
Geez, sorry I said it.

Man, am I a thread killer or what?
*Walks off shaking her head*

Sadiesmom

Sunday, February 23, 2003 - 05:30 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I just want to remind all you that Delaware is the state with the largest companies (and muchos pequenos ones) are encorporated due to lax tax laws. Canada better think twice if they don't want the corporate army on their trail. They will squirt you with Pepsi and you know that dissolves Iron nails and ruins car paint. Then they will set the Proctor and Gamble Satan worshipers on Canada. And so on....

Donut

Sunday, February 23, 2003 - 07:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
oh boy! i was just spending the weekend contemplating moving to Canada, and here i find this! please hurry because i hate driving , so if you could just move down a bit toward new england, i could just move a mile down the road and be in canada already!
just warn me first, cuz i will hide under my bed until the nova scotians and the gloucester fisherman stop whopping each other upside the head with their cods...but i will bring some onion rings for the massive fish fry after the Mackeral Massacre...to the hungry go the spoils! you bring the beer, of course.... Praise the flounder and pass the tartar sauce..

Adven

Monday, February 24, 2003 - 10:18 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks for the heads up on Delaware, Sadies. The Canadian army can't afford to get bogged down in a corporate war with the Great Satans (Pepsi and Proctor and Gamble). We'll deal with Delaware later. What about Maine? They've just got Stephen King. He doesn't look so tough.

Goddessatlaw

Monday, February 24, 2003 - 10:25 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Ummm - Adven. Did you see "Misery?" There aren't enough U.S. dollars, much less Canadian ones, to persuade me to mess with Stephen King on his home turf.

Neko

Monday, February 24, 2003 - 11:38 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Ah yes, you have to watch out for the cod Donut.
We Nova Scotians carry a spare cod in our purses instead of pepper spray.

Has a better effect anyways.

Mak1

Monday, February 24, 2003 - 05:48 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Yeah, Adven, remember Stephen survived that horrible accident with the Cujo van. We can also sic our lobsters on you and pelt you with our potatoes and apples. If that doesn't stop you, we could always slime you with blueberries, which would clash horribly with just about any hockey uniform. But, you know, on second thought....if you can keep our paper companies running and insure everybody, hurry up and annex us! (Would we have to change our spelling of "color" and our pronunciation of "about" to a-boot? Eh?)

Djgirl5235

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 05:09 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Mak - You most definitely would have to change your spelling to the CORRECT spelling:

flavour, favour, colour, centre, etc.

And the pronunciations:
About = a-boot (although I've never heard myself pronounce it that way)
Roof = R-oo-f, (not Ruff, the way I've heard many a "Yank" pronounce it)

And you know that you do have to end every sentence with Eh, regardless of the content, eh?!

hee hee, what a great way to start my day!

Adven

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 05:17 am EditMoveDeleteIP
This is getting trickier than I thought. I'd forgotten about "Misery" and "Cujo". What started out as a simple mission to annex a handful of states and bring the US crashing to its knees in the face of Canadian military power is getting complex. My head's starting to hurt. Okay, Maine's out. I don't want the Canadian military juggernaut heading West too soon - according to the map, you've got a lot of big, fat states out there. How about Rhode Island? Small, no major sports teams. Surely, this is doable?

Ddr1135

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 05:30 am EditMoveDeleteIP
You could probably take South Louisiana with no force at all since 99% of us are descendents of Acadie. Just bring a case of beer and some of those jumbo crawfish to throw in a gumbo pot and we're all yours!

Mak1

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 05:59 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Lol, Djgirl. I have heard some Yanks say ruff for roof. They are the same people who say "rud" instead of "road". Our youngest daughter moved from Maine to NC, and told me that people there tell her she says "a-boot", lol. It doesn't sound that way to me, but maybe that means my pronunciation is more Canadian than I thought.

(Don't tell Adven, but it would be pretty easy to grab the northern part of Maine. The population is sparse and many of the small towns were settled by French Canadians, eh?) I'm practicing my new spelling words....just in case.

Maris

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 02:02 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."


Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

Neko

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 04:59 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
*Trys not to giggle since*

I've gotten that in my email before.

Since that's so complimentary to Canadians...
I'm sure you could find one like it, about Americans...

I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them.

*giggle*

Marysafan

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 05:55 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Yeah...but he gave us Chelios! (Balance! lol)

Dahli

Wednesday, February 26, 2003 - 06:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I smile when I get to the end of that, cuz it is so silly, but I cringe during that 'Canadians are' bit, for some reason pointing out that stuff makes me uncomfortable, must be the modesty thing.

Neko

Wednesday, February 26, 2003 - 11:19 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Either it's the lack of modesty Dahli, that keeps me smiling through the whole thing.
Either that, or I've convinced myself that it's a crock.