Archive through January 25, 2003
TV ClubHouse: Archives: 2003 January:
Guy Thread Discussion For Women:
Archive through January 25, 2003
Crossfire | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 07:33 am     I guess it depends on what he left on the plate. Party on. I wasn't here, I never said that, and no one saw me frantically running from the room. |
Twinkie | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 08:04 am     I have nothing against the mods. The ones I know I love dearly. They are like family to me. I just don't understand why us girls can't sing and dance and have fun in our own thread. If the guys don't like it then don't come in. I've never posted in the guy's thread. I don't care what they do in there. Its their thread. |
Crossfire | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 08:16 am     Whoops, should have posted my support somewhere else. Still not here, just yelling in the window from the outside. |
Twinkie | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 08:32 am     My husband is very disturbed that i'm crying over online "friends". I can't explain to him that I love you all. Weinermr, I have never meant to dismiss you at all. Please know that I love you. |
Resortgirl | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 08:38 am     Twinkie, It's gonna be OK! Just recently I inadvertantly hurt a friend of mine online... And I'm quite sure in the past week I've said something that rubbed a friend or maybe my husband the wrong way. We are human, make mistakes and all we can do is say we are sorry, try not to repeat it, and move on. {{{twinkie}}}}} |
Twiggyish | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 09:17 am     This has started me thinking about things. These days we see a lot of "men" bashing in commercials. It's politically correct..(it seems) I can see where this is a problem. HOWEVER, women do discuss men in private. We tell our own little stories about our guys. It doesn't mean we don't love them. I've overheard conversations amongst men, which would certainly be considered women "bashing" or worse (sexual in nature). I think it's natural for us to talk about each other..even in a kidding tone. The difference here is that this is an open forum. (as mentioned above) We can't see our body language, nor hear our voices. We might be teasing about something.. but someone else might see it differently. I don't know if this explains anything. IF anything this whole incident has opened a dialog. |
Wink | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 09:34 am     Well I'm thinking that if it weren't for stereotyping the economy would come to a screaming halt and I wouldn't be so looking forward to the commercials during the Superbowl. |
Weinermr | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 10:38 am     Twinkie, I have no hard feelings, nor do I feel any ill will towards you. I'm equally sorry if my own post hurt your feelings or anyone elses. We are all human, and sometimes our feelings get hurt. I agree that if this has opened a truly honest and open dialogue, then there has been some good achieved in the process. |
Jed245 | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 10:54 am     Dang people what happened today? :o) Ok I know that i'm crashing in the thread. And that something is going on and I'm not fully up on the story here. I just want to add my spare change to the conversation. :o) I didn't mean to offend any of the ladies of the board by poppin in here when I did or this time. I just wanted to do the blistek commercial line cause of the name of the thread :o) Well umm anyway I hate long goodbyes, but, long apologies seem to be my thing at this point don't they? hehe :o) Anyway I'm sorry if me comming into this thread has offended any of you and I will steer clear in the future :o) Jed. <umm steals/modifies a line from lance> I was never here it's was only the wind. silver and black wind, but, wind :o) |
Squaredsc | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:00 am     i saw that jed. silver and black my you know what. lol. |
Suitsmefine | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:09 am     Jed, None of us said we didn't want you in here!!! We actually found you quite entertaining....You taught us Salsa dancing! Anyhow....We were all just having fun, which apparently got out of hand ( The one Friday night I go to sleep early too) and feelings were hurt...Apologies have been made, so lets all shake hands and start a new day...We all respect each other here that is what makes us special! So I for one am sliding through in my footie jammies and hope everyone( no matter the gender) will join me....it's really fun til you fall and crack your hiney on the hardwood floors! LOL |
Squaredsc | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:26 am     bringing in more wood for the fire, can't wait till the spring thaw... resupplying the gin and tonic and limes.... |
Karuuna | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:29 am     Mother Karuuna posting: I'm distressed that people's feelings got hurt. Sometimes teasing can get out of hand. That's the problem with teasing, isn't it? Everyone has their own unique sensibility about when teasing is funny, and when it crosses the line into being painful. Obviously, the jokes stereotyping men wouldn't be funny to women if they didn't think there was some truth to them. The difference I guess is thinking ALL men, versus MANY or SOME men are such and such a way. And sometimes, the jokes are based more on superficial impressions than fact. Then when the jokes are repeated, they start to feel more like fact, than exaggeration. I try to stay away from teasing, personally. Unless I'm really really sure of my relationship with someone, I never quite know how much of the teasing they think is based on truth. Only those you know really love you can tease you about your idiosyncracies without risking hurting you. On the other hand, it's important to give the folks who are doing the teasing the benefit of the doubt. Often they don't mean it to be hurtful; in fact, some folks may find the same tease to be amusing. It's all a matter of perspective. At any rate, I hope NO ONE feels they need to remove themselves from the board because of this episode. They may think they're doing the right thing, but IMO the really right thing is to stick around and repair things, whenever possible. Then we all grow. I know Weinermr's posts in the past have made me reexamine my own behavior, and I find myself a better and more caring person from my interactions with him. The same thing I've found with my interactions with many of the rest of you. I think it might be beneficial to actually start a separate thread to talk about the issue of how we talk about each other (men and women); and what double standards might exist. Any takers? |
Wink | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:33 am     Well since I started this thread I think I'd like to ask for it to be closed. It was my intent to observe the guy's discussion and have some fun commenting on it without disrupting the flow of their thread. I learned a long time ago not to get my knickers in a knot over posts on a messageboard and developed a thick skin when it comes to perceived insults, slights or outright sarcasm. Unfortunately it appears many others don't share my view and have felt the need to apologize all over the place. I like warm fuzzies as much as the next person but in this case I think it has gotten out of hand. <> |
Suitsmefine | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:33 am     Thanks Square! Awwwww the fire feels so nice! Where is Fanny, I owe her a smacking! LOL |
Myjohnhenry | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:52 am     Kar...that was well said. I almost started a thread earlier about communication, but couldn't decide what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. Suffice it to say that communication is a difficult thing at best and then you add the mode of communication that is a board like this and yu add a whole other dynamic. Time and time again things are said that can be interpreted multiple ways. At times that means that people get hurt...often inadvertently. At other times it means that we get those nonjudgemental words and hugs of caring. At times it means we laugh or cry. At times it is a life lesson to be learned. I do think it is important to think about what we say and how we say it and also realize that even when we post something here that may be perfectly fine with those we know well it may not be so fine with those we don't. And yes, we can also choose to read or not read anything here on the board. That said, I don't think anyone wants the fun to stop...fun is good!! |
Grooch | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 11:54 am     Wink, I agree with you about having a thick skin on a message board. I have been hurt from time to time by posts, but I remind myself that it is an internet board and that the people here mean no harm for 99% of the time. I have no idea how not to say anything at all without insulting anyone by mistake. And when people insult me, I take it with a grain of salt and see that they don't mean to hurt me. A lot of the newer people have no idea who I am or that I have been around, because I keep my mouth quiet because of fear of saying something that hurts someone without meaning to. So I don't post a lot anymore. Yesterday was the first time I acted silly and let myself go in many, many months on the board and looked what transpired. I think I am going to limit myself to the tv threads for a very long while. |
Fruitbat | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 12:03 pm     I absolutely agree Wink. |
Karuuna | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 12:16 pm     I think thick skins are over-rated. I think it's probably right to not let yourself be overly hurt by someone else's remarks, unless you know they were meaning to be cruel, or it's someone very close to you. However, I wonder if someone was making stereotypical jokes about hispanics, or blacks, if we should just tell hispanics or blacks to be more thick-skinned? I see this much the same way. I think it's fully appropriate for someone to remark that certain behaviors and jokes are hurtful to others. And I think it's right to care about the feelings of others, and to take a moment to reflect on your own behavior, and adjust it if you find the relationship valuable enough to you, or if you find the observations accurate. I also think it's not "unfortunate" at all if everyone doesn't adopt my own attitude about things.  |
Wink | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 01:15 pm     Gee Kar if I didn't have a thick skin I might "perceive" that I am being lectured but because I have known you for a long time I will not interpret your post that way. I think comparing what I "perceived" as "barbs" between the sexes to racial and ethnic slurs or jokes is a little more than I can wrap my meagre brain around. And in no way would I expect everyone to "adopt", (by the way I said "share" and I think there's a difference), my own attitude. I just felt the eggshells were piling up a little too high and it was bugging the hell out of me. |
Grooch | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 01:37 pm     Kar, I was a person who lived most of my life without any skin at all. My mother always told me I needed a thick skin because I was overly sensitive and got hurt by everything. I missed out on a lot in life because of it. In case you don't know, I am half spanish and grew up that way, but looking at me, no one would ever think it. Since growing up, I have encountered many times being discriminated by religion, ethnicity, my nationality, and my sex among other things. I can't count being discrimanted because of my sexuality, but I have seen many friends who have been and I supported them best I can. I have lived and work in South Florida, and for the past 10 years, everyday I encounter something in my real life that is said to me in a discrimantory way. And I am far from the only one who deals with this. I have worked for my company for the past 6 years. My jobs or duties have not changed at all and I know for a fact that if I wsa applying for the same job today, I seriously doubt I would be hired now. Not because the job description changed, but because the people doing the hiring has changed. It is a sad but true fact. And I know I will encounter this in most places that I go to look for a job at. Like I tried to say before, I am glad I have my thick skin. Wished I had acquired it earlier in life. And like I said before, most people don't mean to hurt another. You have to take in in context. And now, I am going back to the tv threads. |
Juju2bigdog | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 03:05 pm     For the record, let me say this: Grooch has been around a long time, and is truly hilarious. AND smart. So there! |
Car54 | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 03:07 pm     I think we are ready for Women vs Men on Survivor now. |
Twiggyish | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 03:27 pm     Grooch is a sweet person, too. (I'm adding here) |
Squaredsc | Saturday, January 25, 2003 - 04:24 pm     grooch is wonderful, but she better stay away from my laurence, lol. you know im just funnin ya.  |
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