Archive through November 12, 2002
TV ClubHouse: Archives: My 17 year old Cat is dying. I just need to vent.:
Archive through November 12, 2002
Ginger1218 | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:38 am     My 17 year old cat, Mitzi has a malignant tumor in her face. The Vet told me she has about a month. That was 6 weeks ago. The last 6 weeks have been the most agonizing moments of my life. I know I will have to put her to sleep, but I am so conflicted. I don't know the right time. I selfishly want to keep her, but do not want her to suffer, not for one second. She does not look like she is in pain. (But how can you tell with cats?) She is functional, (she uses the litter box and eats, although that is getting less and less). She lays in her hiding spots most of the day. My fear is that I am torturing her by keeping her alive, or in the alternative, putting her to sleep too soon. Every time I feel she is getting worse, and decide to do something, the next day she seems more alert and frisky and walks around, and I think - how can I put her to sleep now? How do you know when the right time is? I feel that she has no quality of life right now. 2 weeks ago, she was eating voraciously. I go out and buy her roast beef and chicken and make her tuna, all her favorite things. But now that has diminished. So her joy in food is gone. She is withdrawn from me. This cat slept with me every night, now she has not been on my bed for about 2 months. I have spent the last 6 weeks, going to work and rushing home to sit and watch her. I don't go out, I have no desire to do anything. I cry constantly. I need help. I am losing it, I think. I love this cat so much, and it hurts so terribly. If anybody has been through this, please help. |
Zachsmom | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:44 am     (((((((((((((((((GINGER)))))))))))) I have never owned a cat..but I am sorry you are going through this much pain! |
Whowhere | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:52 am     I can completely sympathize with what you're going through. I've been there before myself. I found this website and thought you might find it helpful.... http://www.nchumane.org/euth/ Making The Decision The decision to euthanize a pet must be one of the most heart breaking an owner has to make. This decision can end up being postponed, the owner convincing themselves that it won't be necessary, or feelings of guilt can make the situation even more unbearable. Yet even delaying an inevitable decision of euthanasia by one day can prolong the agony and misery of your pet. If you are faced with this situation, it can be hard to even determine whether your pet is dying, especially if they are old and generally getting about at a slower rate, or if they are suffering from certain chronic conditions. Pets can't tell us how ill they are. Although behavior can be monitored, the most important factor is whether your pet is still enjoying its life. Even if you feel - perhaps because your pet is old - that treatment is inappropriate, the diagnosis of a terminal illness does not mean that your pet will need to be put to sleep immediately. These days much can be done to give your pet many more months, even years, of pain-free and comfortable life. Your vet is the best, most qualified and most experienced person to offer guidance and give prognoses, and should always be consulted first, although as the owner the decision will ultimately be yours, so make sure you fully understand your pet's condition. If there is some aspect of the diagnosis, possible outcome, or medical options you don't understand, ask your vet to explain it to you again or give you extra time to decide. Arrange a special appointment, or get your vet to phone you at the end of the day. Ask for clear answers regarding your questions about medical diagnosis and treatment. Discuss the full cost of treatment and also the euthanasia procedure. Some course treatments may be distressing to your pet. Understand the options. Take your time, and discuss it fully with your family. The procedure should never be hurried, and the decision for euthanasia taken neither lightly nor quickly, unless your pet is in severe pain. Vets will often be able to offer a forecast for life expectancy depending on your pet's condition, its blood tests, tissue samples and X-rays, if taken, and also similar experience with other pets with the same conditions. A survey in the Veterinary Record listed the most common reason for cats and dogs to be put to sleep as terminal illness (51%). Old age or senility accounts for 37% of cat and dog euthanasia’s. Cats are twice as likely (10%) than dogs (5%) to require euthanasia because of traumatic injuries, for example, road accidents, which sadly are more common among cats. However, only 1% of cats, as opposed to 6% of dogs, are put to sleep because of behavioral problems. Below is a list of criteria concerning your pet's basic needs. They can help decide whether euthanasia should be considered, especially if your vet is pessimistic about the benefits of treatment, but they are only intended as guidelines. Nonetheless, if your pet is only 'existing', rather than living a reasonable quality of life, then careful consideration needs to be given to letting him or her go. Your pet thinks only of its current quality of life and understands nothing about life expectancy. Freedom from uncontrollable pain, distress and discomfort. Ability to walk and balance. Ability to eat and drink without pain and vomiting. Freedom from painful, inoperable tumors. Ability to breathe freely and without difficulty. Ability to hold up head when at rest. Ability to urinate and defecate without difficulty or incontinence. Ability to see and hear. Ability to enjoy food. Pet responds to owner and family. Not suffering from repeated vomiting and/or convulsions. A word on natural death. Although this may always seem the ideal end, pets do not always die easily in their sleep without help. They may suffer much distress in their final hours, vomiting repeatedly, struggling for breath, or experiencing convulsions. Sometimes, as the organs shut down, the animal may drift into coma, but you cannot count on this happening. If it has become obvious that your pet is no longer enjoying life or showing any enthusiasm for it, it is kinder to put it to sleep and end its suffering. If you have made the decision to euthanize your pet, you will need the following pieces of information when you visit us. We will need to see some proof of ownership (ie: vet records, pet license, health records, etc.). |
Babyruth | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:58 am     Ginger, I'm so sorry about your cat. Like many others, I have been through this agonizing decision before. Here is a link to a good article on knowing when it's time for euthanasia: Knowing When At the bottom of the article are some related links, such as grieving the loss of a pet. You have my deepest sympathy.  |
Ginger1218 | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:59 am     Zachsmom, thanks, Who - that is a very helpful article. Unfortunately, I have been told, there is nothing that the Vet can do for her. She is definitely dying. And, the part about "existing" as opposed to living is what is making me see that it has to be done quite soon. |
Kady | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:59 am     Ginger, I feel so sad for you. Your heart must be breaking. I have never had to go through anything like this. As much as I love my kitty, I would hate to see him in pain. I can only imagine the turmoil you must be going through. I am no help, I can only send you many cyberhugs. {{{{Ginger}}}} |
Ginger1218 | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:04 pm     Thank you too Babyruth. |
Nimtu | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:07 pm     Ginger, I too am so sorry that you are facing this decision. I have had to do it twice, the last time was in March of this year with my 16 year old dog. It, too was a difficult decision, however, my vet told me something that did help. He said that animals in the wild will just break off from the pack and die, where domestic animals will keep "trying" for us. This is what makes it so hard...the good vs. bad days. Another thing that did make it somewhat easier this particular time was that I asked my vet to come to my house to do it. My puppy was comfortable in her own bed in her own house and there was no trauma. It was very peaceful and I was holding her head. If you want to do this at home and your vet will not make the house call, just pick up the phone book and call around till you find one that will (most of them will do this nowdays). Good luck and I will think of you. |
Weinermr | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:10 pm     {{{{{Ginger}}}}} I know how you feel about your Mitzi. It's so hard to let go of the ones we love. Take care. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. |
Ginger1218 | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:12 pm     Nimtu, I just cannot see her being put to sleep. I just could not stand it. I don't want to see her dead. I want to have her cremated and her ashes returned to me. But, if they came to my house, I would have to see that. I could not handle that. I would never forget it. |
Nimtu | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:20 pm     Ginger, I understand. I didn't want to do it with my first dog either. You won't make a bad decision no matter how or when you do it. You know your cat better than anyone and will know when you need to take her. Many areas now have support groups for people who have lost their pets..it does help to talk to people who understand what you are going through. {{{Ginger}}} |
Calamity | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:44 pm     Ginger: I'm so sorry about Mitzi. I have a 17-year old kitty, too, and cannot bear the thought of losing her. My prayers are with you and your beloved friend. |
Pamy | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:51 pm     Ginger my heart goes out to you!! I had to put our 13 yr cat to sleep about 10yrs ago, it is hard, but it was for the best, she had stopped eating and I could tell she was ready to go. Just like any loved one we don't want them to be in pain, but we also don't want them to leave us. In your heart you will know when the time has come. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your kitty!!{{{{{{GINGER}}}}}}} |
Max | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:59 pm     Ginger, I'm so sorry to hear this. I had to put my kitty down last spring. She was 14 and her kidneys gave out. For me, the decision came when she stopped eating for three weeks. Prior to that, she'd been having "out of the box" accidents on a fairly regular basis which was really unusual for her. It was her only way to tell me she didn't feel good. It's not an easy decision. I was blessed with a wonderful vet who explained everything to me and let me hold her during her last moments. He was just wonderful and I was, of course, a mess. I can't tell you how to know when the time is right. You'll just know. Only you can tell if she no longer has any happy times and seems 'ready'. I wish there were a definitive answer, but there just isn't. {{{GINGER}}}  |
Ginger1218 | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 01:04 pm     I am sitting in work now, crying like a fool. You are all very kind, and very helpful. |
Wargod | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 01:08 pm     Ginger, we had to put down our dog when I was in high school. It was heart breaking for us. We all said good bye to him, and my step dad took him to the vet, where he held JD the whole time. When he came home, he took one look at me and my sister and broke into tears. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Losing a pet is like losing a family member...you're not a fool for crying..it just shows you have a big heart with lots of love for your pet. {{{{{Ginger}}}}} |
Whoami | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 01:42 pm     I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes reading everyone's stories. Ginger, I too have "been there, done that" too many times in my life. The emotional pain is unbearable, but then I think of how each animal has been such a gift to my life, and how blessed I was to have them share my life. I feel like I must have done something very special to be given such a lifetime reward, and so many times too. As far as being there when you put her to sleep. I completely understand your feelings, and how hard it would be for you to witness the moment. However, this is how I feel (for me only, not what I expect others to feel or do). That animal gave of itself unconditionally for many years. He/she spent it's entire life being there for me in good times and bad. How many times has any of us been a bit down, only to have a pet come and snuggle in a little closer and just "hold" you? For all the years that animal gave me, as painful as it is, I insist that I be there for them in their final time of need. They really do just relax and go to sleep. God Bless you, and know you are in my thoughts and prayers today. {{{{Ginger}}}} {{{{Mitzi}}}} |
Meggieprice | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 02:44 pm     Oh Ginger- you have my deepest fullest sympathy in what you face. I lost three beloved cats in 2001 and they leave a hole in our hearts so much bigger than their furry bodies. One of our cats had terminal heart disease and i think it was stopping eating that made me know the time was right. He was so weak he lay in my arms in the car while we were driven to the vet. For that reason it did feel right to be in the room- I held him in my arms until he was gone and they let me stay in the room with him as long as i wanted to. This was a personal choice, and for some reason did not seem right when I had to euthanize another beloved boy later the same year. I am so so sorry- visit the cat thread too as there are some beautiful links about losing cats there. They are not pets, you know? They are family. I send you hugs and love. I gain comfort knowing my lost babies are frolicking in a meadow, chasing butterflies and eating until they can't move...and waiting to see me someday. I also know they visit again all the time, and perhaps even come back again as another sweet love of a kitty. |
Whit4you | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 02:47 pm     {{{{{{{{ Ginger }}}}}}}} |
Cjr | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 03:10 pm     Ginger, I am so sorry you are going through this right now with your Mitzi. It is heartbreaking. I had to have my 13 year old Australian Shepherd put to sleep a few years ago after a stroke and it was such a hard choice even though her quality of life was nothing. I chose to stay with her until the end and I am glad I made that decision. Had I not been there I would not have known how fast and painless this was for her. You'll know the right time for you and Mitzi and will make the decision that is right for you about being there or not. (((((Ginger))))) |
Squaredsc | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 03:22 pm     ((((Ginger))))) |
Kstme | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 03:37 pm     Ginger, I am so sorry for you and Mitzi. BIG (((()))) |
Scootersmom | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 04:10 pm     Ginger, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mitzi. It's a very difficult and heartbreaking decision, but you will know when the time is right. We had to let our terrier mix go after 13 years because of cancer...it was so hard for my husband; she was his "buddy". But, when it was her time, she was ready and we could no longer deny her the rest she so needed. Take care (((Ginger))) (((Mitzi))) |
Halfunit | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 06:35 pm     Ginger I am SO sorry to hear about Mitzi's situation and the agony you are going through. I have been there and will sadly have to do it again someday. Making the decision that you are facing is one of the hardest things in the world. The posts before mine prove that. Hugs and strength to you, and a loving scratch to Mitzi. |
Lancecrossfire | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 06:39 pm     Ginger, I am sorry to hear about the situation with your cat. What a tough choice that must be to make. It is great to hear by your post how much you love you cat, and how much she means to you. What great friends the two of you must be. |
|