Do you have a Thanksgiving horror story?
TV ClubHouse: Archives: Do you have a Thanksgiving horror story?
Whoami | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 01:19 pm     I'm tempted to do the tan-line turkey. That would serve them right for deciding I should be the cook this year!  |
Goddessatlaw | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 01:20 pm     Oh, please Whoami - you have to and give us the blow-by-blow. Please? |
Sia | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 02:31 pm     Jkm, I love the turkey with the tan-lines. I would love to try that this year!! We have a turkey in the freezer. When should I thaw it out, LOL? We're going for turkey on Thanksgiving Day at my Mom's and will have ours sometime shortly after that, within the next few days after Thanksgiving, that is. What a riot!! I will post my Thanksgiving horror story later. It's from the past; I may have a new one this year, too, you never know!! |
Whoami | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 03:39 pm     So, on that tan-line turkey....does the skin underneath the bikini part cook? I mean, you baste the turkey and stuff so it will brown and be flavorful. But, what of the skin on the bikini part? Will it be un-edible? |
Jkm | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 04:52 am     It's edible - just doesn't get at brown --your keeping some of the direct heat off of it - but it still cooks just fine. It doesn't have to be tan line -- could be a heart or a measage like my Uncle did (He put I TOLD YOU TO EAT CHICKEN on it!! lol) Ha-ha or a little turkey (look like a tattoo) |
Earthmother | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 06:09 am     The first year we moved into our house I decided to cook Thanksgiving dinner for family and some friends. With 14 people comming to dinner at my house and the turkey in the oven I was a happy little domestic. All of a sudden about 2 hours into bird cooking my power went out. At the time we didn't have a main breaker the house was run on fuses, so I thought no big deal we have extra fuses. What I didn't know was that sometimes the main fuse went out, which I didn't have an extra of. Needless to say nothing was open so I could purchase one and we didn't have a bbq. Fortunately this was before hand held phones and we could still call out..My dad reminded me my uncle was an electrician and so I called him and he had a main fuse, which he came and installed. We ate a little late, but my bird made up for it..lol |
Lucy | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 09:42 am     I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner the year we moved into our house. Everything seemed to be going well with the preparation of the turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. That is, until I tried to send 5 pounds of potato peelings down my garbage disposal. Of course then we had to call Rotor Rooter to clear our clogged pipes, and he ripped us off to the tune of $140. The dinner was great otherwise!! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! |
Jkm | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 09:59 am     some recipes I found: The Famous Fried Turkey Recipe WARNING: If you aren't sure you can handle a large bucket of boiling oil DON'T TRY THIS - PLEASE! It's a DANGEROUS procedure - especially if you are exceptionally clumsy or stupid! Make sure you have the following... • A large TURKEY FRYER/BURNER* - see below • One thawed turkey • Equal portions of strained Italian dressing & white wine • Tony Chachere's seasoning (see below) • Seasoning injector LET'S BEGIN! MARINATE: In bowl, add equal portions of strained Italian dressing and white wine. Sprinkle Tony's seasoning on top of marinate. Stir constantly so the dressing and wine don't separate. Inject turkey with marinate all over meat. Rub down turkey with seasoning. Place turkey in plastic bag with weight sticker overnight in refrigerator. Remember to remove all giblets and neck from bird as well as any plastic or metal pop-up timers before frying. FRYING DAY: Make sure you have the following... • A 40 Qt. stock pot • Cooking oil (to fill approx. 1/2 to 1/3 of pot) • A glass candy thermometer • An egg timer • An outdoor gas or electric turkey fryer or "fish burner" • A FULL tank of propane (if using gas cooker) • Heavy Stringor twine • Tony's seasoning FRYING: Set up fryer and pour in oil. Tie thermometer inside pot with string so you can easily monitor the cooking temperature of the oil. Heat oil to 350 degrees F. Rub turkey down again with Tony's seasoning and tie turkey's legs together (yes, together) so you can easily remove the turkey from the pot. Lower turkey slowly into oil being careful not to allow oil to spill over. Set timer (4 1/2 minutes per pound - turkey breasts: only 5 minutes). Calculate the cooking time from the weight sticker. (A 12 lb. turkey takes approx. one hour).When timer goes off, remove turkey from pot. Let cool for several minutes before carving. Enjoy - or wrap in foil for later use. Turkey can be reheated or eaten cold for snacking. Make sure you never leave the fryer alone, and keep oil temperature as close to 350 degrees F. as possible while cooking. You can fry 4 - 5 turkeys before changing the oil. Let oil cool completely before discarding. Tony Chachere's Famous Creole Seasoning 26 oz. box of free-flowing salt 1 1/2 ounce box ground black pepper 2 oz. bottle ground red pepper 1 oz. bottle pure garlic powder 1 oz. bottle chili powder Mix well and salt to taste. When it is salty enough, it's seasoned to perfection! Kristi's Turkey Recipe Note: Kristi isn't sure why you use an apple and an onion, but she swears by it, and claims this produces the best tasting turkey she has ever tasted. What You need: 1 - Apple 1 - White Onion 1 - Turkey 1 - Conventional Oven Directions: Before cooking the turkey (in a conventional oven) peel and place the the onion and apple into the birds cavity. Cook bird according to directions, or as you normally would. Chicken on a Beer Can WARNING: If you aren't sure you can handle a charcoal or gas grill and fresh poultry... DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME - PLEASE!!! It's a DANGEROUS procedure - especially if you are exceptionally clumsy or stupid Here's how you do it: 1. First thing to do is get yourself a medium-sized chicken or turkey. 2. Clean it according to manufacturer's directions Season it with whatever you prefer (i.e. salt, pepper, garlic salt, etc...). 3. Drink 1/2 can of beer (should be easy), then refill the can with your favorite barbecue sauce. 4. Insert the can in the bird's butt/rectum/ass/etc., and place the bird/can assembly on the grill CAREFULLY with the bird on top. This means the can is actually on the grill and holding up the bird. 5. Cook the bird for approximately 2 hours or until juices run clear. VERY CAREFULLY remove the bird, and use long tongs or pliers to remove the VERY HOT can from the bird. Save the juices from the can and pour them over the carved pieces of meat as a gravy. Enjoy! |
Goddessatlaw | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 03:05 pm     K - got my brother to commit to making the white trash turkey - beer/barbecue stuffed on the grill and a big tattoo on the hiney. Will take pictures. |
Abby7 | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 04:01 pm     Hi: Since our local news has been showing the dangers of frying a turkey, I thought I would pass the news on here so everyone has a safe Thanksgiving. Apparently there are NO turkey fryers that have been "marked" safe. They are all considered dangerous. If you do use them (I never have), the turkey must be COMPLETELY defrosted. ANY ice will cause a huge explosion. The news showed a man's house catch on fire with %$50,000 damage. The turkey must be dipped in the oil VERY slowly. It should be cooked outdoors. Anyway, that's just what was on the news. I've never had a fried turkey or made one so it was news to me. VERY DANGEROUS apparently. |
Sia | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 11:24 pm     About twelve years ago I was responsible for roasting the Thanksgiving turkey at my mother's house for a family gathering of about 18 or 20. I'd just put on a holiday meal for 60 at work, with three roasted turkeys, hams, a dozen home-made pies, etc., so I wasn't freaked-out about fixing one little old turkey. Well, I didn't account for the differences in ovens, and my Mom's oven (in the basement) hadn't been tried out thoroughly, and the door seal/gasket leaked a bit, causing it to lose heat. I'd invited a special guest for dinner, and when my Dad went to carve the lovely turkey, it was still PINK! We had to eat everything else while waiting for the turkey to finish roasting in the upstairs oven. I think we actually whacked off parts of it and microwaved them to have something to put on the table. It was so embarrassing for me that I seem to have blocked parts of the incident from my memory!! (LOL) |
Whit4you | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 11:35 pm     My son's about to have a Thanksgiving day horror story... 'The day I saw my Mom for the first time after moving out of state" LOL. His little one page menu - is well now a 200 page book....and I'm just getting started <grin> BUT - I'm a good mommy - I'm just writing him 101 notes about this book rather than taking up his whole TDay explaining it all LOL. It's a darn good thing I'm working 9 1/2 hours tommorow or he'd have a 10 volume set on Thanksgiving hehe. I tend to be a bit obsessive complusive in case nobody's noticed.. his little 1 page menu (see What's for Dinner thread) is now in a binder..with tabs and page protectors - with a buncha different sections like oh... "cooking tips" .. Grocery shopping lists... an entire dictionary of cooking definitions (in case he doesn't know what 'omlette' means... a whole section on 'cooking for 1" .. various substitute information (in case he doesn't have condensed milk you know) and a section on converstions... oh and of course I had to include a list of recipes for kids (playdough / slime etc) for when his lil one comes to visit... well those are just some of the sections in this little book - there's also an entire section of sections completely unrelated to cooking...<grin> As I said it's a good darn thing I'm working tommorow - he'll be saying um mom.. I LIKE Top romen!!!!!! GEEZ! LOL. I'll have a good TDay though - seeing my son again - feeling good about doing this for him even if it confirms what he's always known .. his mom is nuts.
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Sia | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 11:57 pm     My husband worked with some guys a few years back who were die-hard hunting fanatics and who stalked, shot, plucked, and ate their own turkeys. One of them had received a new turkey-fryer and had a catastrophe with it--with his friends and family gathered 'round to witness the spectacle. The fryer was over-filled with oil and the boiling oil sloshed over the sides when the turkey was dropped in; a huge fire ensued, catching the deck on fire and melting the vinyl siding on the side of the house. It could have been far worse. I will be happy to continue roasting my turkeys. |
Jkm | Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 05:19 am     My dh's uncle and his dad both have turkey fryer's. The turkey tastes so good and doesn't take near as long -- they run both of them for big family gatherings. Outside -- away from buildings -- on a concrete slap near one of the pole barns. -- Been doing it for about 3 yrs now -- it's great. They guys all go North fishing once a year and they use the fryers for the family fish fry when they get home. |
Sia | Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 12:30 pm     Jkm, I'm a worry-wart and a spoilsport. Whenever my husband or I have to drain a pot of boiling water for pasta, I chase the children from the kitchen, yelling for them to take cover until the kitchen is safe again! I worry WAAAYY too much!! |
Alinthehouse | Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 05:20 pm     I have to share with you all, my Thanksgiving horror story. Ten years ago when I was pregnant with our first child my husband and brother in law got a bright idea. Instead of me cooking all day, they decided to buy a pre-cooked meal from the local restaurant. They wanted me to rest. If you have never bought a pre-cooked meal before... it is not cooked all the way. After popping the half cooked turkey in the oven, all heck broke loose with the mash potatoes. The potatoes were instant mash potatoes. The plastic bag the flakes were in only had the amount of water printed on it, no instructions. I thought they were like regular instant potatoes, boil water then add the flakes and stir. Well, I boiled the water. Brother-in-law felt so bad I was cooking he added the flakes. I stirred and the potatoes started growing. Next thing I know it looked like a nuclear mushroom raising in the pot. He yells “duck” and the potatoes exploded!! We had mash potatoes everywhere... under the kitchen hood, all counters, the floor, the ceiling, and worst of all all over us, including our hair. I laughed so hard. To say the least, no more pre-cooked meals. My brother-in-law passed away a few years ago, and left me with one of the most memorable memories forever. Every Thanksgiving since we laugh about the exploding potatoes. |
Goddessatlaw | Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 06:16 pm     OMG, Alinthehouse - great story. What a riot, and a spectacular memory. |
Whoami | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 07:00 am     Well, turkey is in oven, foil bikini and all! I hope it works! I've told my sisters to bring their cameras.....heheheheh... |
Sia | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 07:06 pm     We put the turkey DH was given at work in the fridge this morning to thaw so we can roast it this weekend. I certainly plan to put the foil bikini on it! It will be a hoot. It will be most tricky, however, to get it roasted without him SEEING it first!! He is the type to take over the kitchen, check the turkey, baste, check again, baste some more, poke a fork in it. . . You get the picture, I'm sure! |
Whoami | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 08:14 pm     Well, tried the foil bikini. But my bird decided to tan herself underneath the bikini too. She was just barely slightly lighter under the bikini. It looked more like an uneven browning if anything at all. So, no pictures to share. So sorry. I cut the foil shapes out, and draped it around the turkey in the appropriate spots. Don't know why it still browned underneath. Maybe my bikini was too skimpy, or not on tight enough. B-I-L wondered if it was because it wasn't basted, or put in a bag (the instructions for this bird were to not baste, or put in a roasting bag. On the upside, she did end up tasting pretty darn good! |
Sia | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 08:29 pm     Would it help to "pin" the foil bikini to the turkey with a couple of toothpicks? Would it help to brush anything in particular (butter, oil, I don't know?} on the spots where the foil is intended to stick? Or how about leaving the foil on the entire time, but remembering to remove the foil tent for extra browning right before taking the bird out of the oven? I'll bet she was good, Who!! Yum! We had turkey, too. |
Whoami | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 09:14 pm     I didn't cover it with anything except the bikini! I keep hearing of how other people cover or bag theirs, but Mom said I didn't need to (and, like I said, the instructions that came with the turkey said not to bag or baste it. Maybe I was supposed to tent it? Well, it still came out good. At least my "first" isn't a horror story! Now, the true horror story would be, "hey, you did such a good job with this meal, we nominate you as the Thanksgiving cook from now on!" The most gratifying part of the evening was to sit back down in my chair after everyone left, and not have to be going over a list of what I still need to do .....its done, its over. Everyone has skipped off with their leftovers.....Ahhhhhhhh (relaxed sigh this time, not a scream). |
Sia | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 09:26 pm     Who, that's exactly how people rope you into doing the cooking. At 14 I worked in a restaurant, ostensibly as the dishwasher and potato peeler/salad bar preparer, etc. The first time I made perfect pudding in a double-boiler, the staff made all over me, dubbing me "Pudding Queen" and saying I should do it all the time since the restaurant owner's daughter couldn't make pudding without lumps. Well, I think she'd simply had enough of stirring vats of boiling pudding over a big gas range using double-boilers!! |
Whoami | Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 11:32 pm     Yea Sia, I sure know that trick. I still remember being a small child, and being tricked into drying the silverware after my sister washed. Everyone made a huge deal out of how good a job I did at drying the silverware. Soon, that became my official job. Then of course, I was a "big girl" and was soon "entrusted" with other household duties. Even at that tender age, I knew I was being played. I think I hated that more than I did doing the work!  |
Faerygdds | Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 01:34 pm     I have too many Thanksgiving Horror Stories. The "titles" of them are... Age 7 - Would you like some Wine with your dinner? Which is about meeting my Dad's new Boss - Total Disaster! Age 10 - The Black Bird - An experiment in Roasting a turkey Age 14 - Will there be a feast tonight? - Everyone was sick and no one had the energy to cook. Age 18 - You call that a Turkey (Part 1)? - Dad gets a free bird from work - it was BONELESS Age 21 - You have to turn the oven ON - First Turkey Day in Mom's new house Age 23 - The Great Turkey Abortion - My first bird which was SO perfectly cooked it fell apart! Age 28 - Hic! Turkey anyone? Hic! - Mom tries a great new recipie or sweet potatoes and doesn't cook all the Jim Beam out of it! Age 29 - You call That a turkey Part 2? - The great Turduckey roast Needless to say Thanksgiving is always an interesting time for our family. For some reason SOMETHING bad always happens... this year we did precooked ham and turkey with homemade sides... al went well.. there IS a frist time for everything! |
Car54 | Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 02:05 pm     FAERYGYDDS!!!!! Where the heck have you been? I was just thinking about you today!!!!! |
Faerygdds | Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 05:46 pm     Been Gone Car... had some major family problems... to make a long story short, my uncle is very sick with a blastoma of the brain (cancer). It's been very hard on the family. he starts radiation therapy on Monday and had just gotten home from the hosp after very major brain surjery. Haven't felt like posting much for obvious reasons. I'll be around... |
Car54 | Monday, December 02, 2002 - 02:37 am     Take care Faery! |
Faerygdds | Monday, December 02, 2002 - 01:24 pm     I'm fine.. just dealing with other family stuff and the inevitablity of my Uncle's death (so the doc says) |
Goddessatlaw | Monday, December 02, 2002 - 01:30 pm     Hi, Faerygdds - we just went through this with my uncle in May. It is so, so hard to watch this kind of suffering. But where there's life there's hope. They told my uncle 6 months and he got another 12 years out of it. The power of the human will and the advances in medicine are miracles. I'll be hoping for your miracle and keeping you in my prayers. |
Sia | Monday, December 02, 2002 - 05:21 pm     The tan-line turkey had an imperceptible tan, but my family got a laugh out of it when I cut out and pinned the "swimsuit" to the bird. The kids kept guessing what it was. I need to find out what would make a noticeable difference in the coloring; this would be fun to do next year for the whole extended family! {{{Faerygdds}}} Sorry to hear that your uncle is so ill.  |
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