Archive through December 01, 2002
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TV ClubHouse: Archives: Care to Elaborate?? Let's discuss those facts: Archive through December 01, 2002

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 03:54 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Well there are soooo many facts in the "A fact or two about you" thread - I read that I want to ask about or make comments on etc and I imagine others are the same... but it seems to be too distracting to to that too much. I'm not implying we can't make comments in that thread of course, I do so often. I just thought it'd be nice to be able to get into DISCUSSIONS about those various facts without starting a dozen threads. So lets' give this a go and see how it turns out?

I have several things I'd like folks to elaborate on but for the moment just opening the thread.

Oh and lets call this the CTE thread - easier to type LOL.

Sia

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 05:28 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Well, Whit, I'll bite.

Twinkie, I am intrigued that your hubby goes browsing at the supermarket almost every night. Why does he do this? Does it create any problems for you two? My hubby hates to do any type of shopping at all! I just can't imagine!!

Twinkie

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 06:15 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Sia, he is a nut for sale items. You know where they have the shopping carts full of sale items at the grocery? He will ALWAYS go thru those. We always have sooooooo much food in the house. I once asked him if he ever went hungry as a kid cause that was the only reason I could think of for his obsession with food but he said no. He just feels so proud of himself when he gets stuff on sale! Go figure! LOL But I let him indulge himself. He could be doing alot worse things!

Sia

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 07:03 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
You're right about that, Twink! If I let him, my hubby would head straight for the beer aisle! Good for your DH for picking up sale items.

I have to admit to rummaging through the discounted-items cart, too. It's a great place to get hand soap and some shampoos. Seems like when an item hasn't been a terrific seller my local grocer discontinues it and clearances the remaining stock. I definitely head straight for clearance racks and bins in discount, department, and clothing stores, as well. My motto: Never Pay Retail!!

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 09:04 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Kristylovesbb
Monday, November 25, 2002 - 09:21 pm

1.When my husband and I first started dating we went to a party, he doesn't drink, I got drunk. Going home it seemed like the road we were on would never end. I asked him how long is this d%#$ road anyway, plus
I was telling him how to drive. He said to me, "I'm f-ing this cat you just sit there and hold his tail"!


This so reminds me of a story... this guy I was dating and had been living with for a few years had went out of town to his folks town and went out dancing.... well I got a bit um well um very frisky... so he decided to 'pull off the road' and explore that...we definately explored that for a while and then I suggested we go to his folks's house cause um I wanted to go to the lil girls room and take a quick shower... so he said OK and turned the car on and drove about 10 feet and parked...we were IN his folks driveway - I about died.. I sewr I about died..lol... I'd gotten so 'frisky' that he didn't want to lose the opportunity so he'd STOPPED the car at the foot of his folks driveway.....I'll never forget that and never be able to think about it without a smile and a "OH MY GAWD" lol.

I swear I had NO IDEA we were in his parents driveway that hole time!!!! LOL and I could not get over the fact that we HAD been when he turned the car on and drove 10 feet....and parked LOL.

Kristylovesbb

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 09:36 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit, I just found this thread and your story was soooo funny. I just love it when crazy things like that happen to people because they happen to me all the time!

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 09:49 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Nimtu

Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 07:55 am

1. My brother, sister and I were all adopted.

Nim curious about this - were you guys from the same family? How old were you all when you were adopted? DId you meet your 'biological parents"? Do you want to? etc...

I was 8 1/1 when I was adopted - so interested in you elaborating....

Whit

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 09:52 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Pamy
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 07:00 pm

1.I had the greatest childhood, we didn't have lots of money but I never knew it, my Mom and Dad were very creative.

I'd love to hear more about this - creativity was my gift.. I could think of 101 uses for a 2 liter pop bottle when my son was little...

Care to share more about the things ya'all did that didn't require $$?

One of my "20 question' questions when I was dating to a guy was something along the lines of...

"You have $5 to your name and NO credit handy etc... how would you make it a night I'll never forget with $5 in your pocket..." :)

I got so many intersting answers a few that made me want to get to know the guy much better...it's never taken $$ to make me happy just a man willing to 'live a little......." :)

Nimtu

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 10:10 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Hi Whit,
No, we are not from the same biological family - we were all adopted as infants. Actually, when my daughter was born I realized, for the first time, that I was holding the only "blood" relative I had. It was one of the most moving experiences I have ever had - no, make that the most moving. I didn't think about searching till maybe five years ago and then only kinda half assed..just puttered around on the web. My sister and brother have never looked either. I don't ever remember not knowing that we were adopted and always felt sorry for kids who weren't. Used to think..you poor thing, your parents just got stuck with you...mine picked me. LOL Well, wouldn't mind finding biological family, just not to motivated to go to the trouble. What about you Whit? What do you remember of your time pre-adoption?

Pamy

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 10:32 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit, some of the things I remember are:
Cardboard box for my playhouse, we cut holes for the windows and doors, went to carpet stores and got scraps for rugs, old material for curtains, etc

My Mom could sew very well and would make my Barbie and I matching outfits

We always had tons of friends and on weekends would get together for game nights, I was quite the card shark by 13! Probably why I love Vegas so much now!

Homemade dough to make things

Also, my Mom and Dad would do without things to get me special toys, etc

I was blessed to have such wonderful parents and thank God I married a man that I feel loves me the way they did

Whit, thanks for asking, it was nice remembering these things!!

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 10:49 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Well - my biological mother (Nadine) was going to have me committed, after I returned from one of my pre-adoption families. I didn't fit in - in any of those families cause I was obsessed with my sister Angel. Leaving her there - was more then I could handle so I was obssessed with her. So I never really fit in, in those families. I was adopted at 8 1/2 but I never stopped talking about my 'real family" my "real family this" and my "real sister" that.. and so on.

I talked about this endlessly as a kid. I knew it all and knew the truth but I was also obsessed with it all and while I knew everything I also had worked out an elaborate system of denial. When I was 18 my biological mother sent my Mom a letter - and a check made out to me for %100.00. My mom sent me the letter - and the check with a note that said "Your mom is trying to get in touch with you....." etc.

I grew more that day then I think I ever have... cause it all hit me then. My mom, Wanda.. had been my mom and had put up with more then I could ever imagine putting up with... imagine doing all you can day in and out for someone who talks daily about "my real mom" ... "my real family" ... well that's what she had done. Anyhow she wrote me this note saying "Your mom......" and she signed it Wanda.

I was totally blown away by that - because - see the thing is I'd always said "my real mom" and my "real family" as a part of my denial ritual.. but I knew the truth. I called my mom (Wanda) that day... and for the first time ever I was really caring and her daughter.. I mean to her I'd always been her daughter - but I had never truely accepted the role 'verbally" - so I said to my mom (Wanda) .. SHE (Nadine) is NOT my mom... and please don't ever call her that again and ... " anyhow this was a really long converstation.... but I'm sure it's one my mom will never forget. And of course - she stopped calling Nadine "your mom" that day as well. She stopped calling THEM "your real family" that day as well. She's always done this cause she was told that someday I'd accept it all and move on - and I never had... and so she just always defered to the way I had refered to THEM (my "real family" )

I did however contact Nadine - cause I wanted to see my sisters (and bro) she sent me a plane ticket - I went to see my sisters... Nadine refused to let me see my sister Angel..because Angel was 'going to fill my head full of lies about our childhood" - Nadine had NO idea how to handle me... I said to Nadine "IF your talking about ______ or ______ or ______ or ________" there's nothing she can tell me that I don't already know... Nadine stood with her jaw open...

I was NOT her daughter and I was NOT going to put up with her SHI* she had absolutely 0 power over me. So I went up on the roof with my sister Angel who was going to jump... and we talked... and talked.. We sat on that roof for at least an hour till sister after sister joined us... and there we sat..... 4 of my sisters and I.. while Nadine sat downstairs seething (and oh tsk tsk ..taking me out of her will .. for the first of a dozen times...LOL)

Nadine had met her match with me. Thanks to her I grew very very strong willed by age 4 - and by 18 - well... she couldn't control me no matter what she said or did to try.. it wasn't gonna happen.

I decided growing up that I would never adopt a child - unless they were an orphan because of me and what I put my adopted parents through with my "Real family this" and "real mother that" stuff.

I don't regret being adopted - I just regret what I put my mom (Wanda) through... but I've made it up to her over the years since then. She'll never know the truth about why I was obessed with "my real family" but she knows enough to know - that it was not in any way about her or my adopted family but my need to live in a fantasy world of denial.

Adoption has always been something I'm interested in - because I envy those who had a 'good' adoption... I was adopted into a great family and it could have been wonderful. My mom (Wanda) listened to the advice she was given - she let me be who I needed to be... I ran way at 12... to go to my 'real family' - I only wish I'd made it then... had been allowed to go back then.

Nim - I have always felt that in a childs mother is the mom who nurtures them and takes care of them and raises them... I don't even know who my 'biological' father is and don't care - I would like to know who my sisters and bro's are in that case - but the man's genes I carry - well that doesn't make him my father.

Whenever I hear about people looking for their 'biological' parents it sorta bothers me - cause the truth is what makes a mom a mom is in the heart not in the genes you know.

I'm glad your content not neededing to meet your 'biological' parents... cause I really do think no matter how much they try to save face for their childs sake.. the adopted parent has to hurt that the 'gene' bond means anything compared to the thousands and thousands of hours their giving has ment you know?

Well this is all just my 2 cents on the abortion thing...

I can never repare the hurt I caused growing up to my family - wish I could.. but I think I've made it up to my mom you know.. the last time she ever heard or ever would hear me refer to Nadine as my "real mother" was the day of that letter. And I know that meant so much to her and still does.

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 10:55 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Pamy - ya I was one of those kinda moms - :)

Gawd I miss those days lol.

I have a grandbaby now - and I'm already collecting all sorts of things for the future...

he's gotta get outta diapers first though LOL!

Whit4you

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 11:06 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Fanny

"13. Ummmmm....oh yeah Whit, you better believe I clean my house before my cleaning ladies come. That's why I'm so busy Wednesday nights...they clean on Thursdays, lol. "

This is what I want to know ...WHY people WHY? LOL.

I so don't understand why people clean their house for the maid!!!!! But I do know most people do... but WHY? LOL.

Do you think your MAID's house is clean? She works! And I'm sure the last thing she wants to do when she gets home is clean house.....

SOOOO what's the deal here peeps???

Elaborate! LOL.

I can tell you if / when I ever do hire a maid - I won't be cleaning house for my maid - that's what I'm paying HER TO DO! LOL.

Mygetaway

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 11:48 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
This is sort of a CTE... since I saw this mentioned on several peoples lists.

Since several of you use advantage on your pets, who has bought it online instead of straight from the vet?

We used fleadrops.com ( Click Here For Link ) last time and got 12 doses for $69.95 It has current experation dates, and is in the same exact packages as the vet. It also works just as well as the stuff from the vet. (We're on the 4th round) Our vet wants like $15 dollars a pop. So that was quite a savings for us. The dogs don't like us much either when we first put it on, but they are better than they used to be. We just use rubber gloves.

Kstme

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 11:52 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit...I DON'T clean before my housekeepers come to clean. Sometimes I have clean afterwards.

Lyn

Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 11:59 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit, that was an incredible story!

Nimtu

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 12:15 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit,
How wonderful for you that you have such a great mom! I can't agree with you more about the difference between biological and real parent. Used to be the only thing that bugged me was that people always used to ask "have you met your real mom?" I only became curious about my biological parents some years after my daughter was born - really only out of curiosity cause my daughter looked like I had cloned her and it just made me kinda wonder whether or not I looked like my biological mom and what my future held. Anyway, my sister and I used to say it would be cool to "see" the bio-parent and walk away. I also don't want to upset somebody who I believe did a very wonderful thing for me by busting in on her life.

Webkitty

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 01:28 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit, a maid, a housekeeper, and a cleaning service are all different things.

When I lived up North I had a cleaning service and they were totally usless and a waste of money. They were called Merry Maids, but they were not maids, by any stretch of the imagination.

These people did nothing except run a vacuum, fluff toss pillows on the sofa, swish a duster around, clean the sliding glass door, and mop the kitchen floor. That's it. They wouldn't lift a finger to put any dishes left in the sink in the dishwasher, didn't make beds, clean the bathrooms (except for cleaning the bathroom mirror, big whoop) or any of things that I would want them too. They wouldn't even touch a cup that might be on the coffee table. They dusted around it, I guess it was too much to ask that they take the cup and put it in the dishwasher.

One time, I left the towels hanging on the rack in the bathroom all messed up to see if they would straighten them out, nope.

I felt like I had to go around and make sure the house was extra neat before they came. I had to get up even earlier than normal in the morning because my commute was long. Why? because I wanted to make sure all the dirty clothes were down the laudry shoot and not laying around. Make sure the bed was made (since they weren't going to do it) and since they wouldn't actully clean the bathrooms, but would go in there to wipe down the mirror, they needed to be clean. Plus, since they went in the kitchen to mop the floor, that had to be clean too. It made me feel funny thinking they would think I was a slob or something. It was more hassle than it was worth. I also didn't like that they had a key to my house.
I hated it and dropped the service after 2 months.

A friend at work had an actual housekeeper, something different than a service. The housekeeper worked for herself, and did much more than the service.
More expensive, but I my friend thought it was worth it.

A maid is someone I think of in old English movies, the kind that wear uniforms, and I have no experience with them, lol!

Some people need help because of illness, and I can understand that. I have health issues myself now, but I would rather let the house get a little messy until I'm feeling well enought to give it a good cleaning. Although I admit that sometimes I've wished for a genie to appear and blink my house clean! My husband tries to be as neat as he can, but, he's a man, know what I mean? lol!

Hope this helps.

Pamy

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 10:05 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Whit, what a wonderful story, you should submit it as a screenplay!
As for the cleaning before the maids come....I dont 'clean' but I do pick up stuff, I also insist my 7 yr old cleans his room(by clean I mean put all his toys away)the night before. When we first got the maids my son's room was a mess and I told him to go clean his room, he said 'why? the maids come tomarrow!!" he was only 6 yrs old! I decided then I was sending him a bad message, so I told him the maids are here to do the big stuff(vacume, dust, mop, etc)so we can enjoy our weekends instead cleaning.

Whit4you

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 11:09 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Marysfan

"17. I once took a college algebra class...just for fun."

Oh my, have you seen a doctor about this yet? :)

Squaredsc

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 12:24 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
whit, great story and another great idea for a topic. i wish i had a maid, housekeeper or service, just something 'cause i hate cleaning.

Queenfish

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 12:40 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Marysfan
don't feel bad. I took Hermanuetics on a dare in college. That is applying ancient greek and hebrew into modern language.

Whit
What a wonderful story. Pamy's right. you should right a screenplay. Just wondering, do you see any of your siblings now?

Teatime

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 01:27 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
LPA (Long Post Alert!)

From the cleaning woman (I love that term because for some reason it set Steve Martin off in a movie, was it Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid?..."Cleaning Woman!! Did you say Cleaning Woman!??"):

I cleaned homes for several years, and listed myself as housekeeper on tax forms. I worked independently. The homes started at 3000 sq. ft. and on up to 7000. I hit each one once a week. I charged by the hour, and worked a predetermined # of hours, normally 6 or 7. I had a routine, which was to strip the beds, throw linens into the wash, and start on all those bathrooms. "Dry" cleaning was next, and wrapped up in the kitchen. I scrubbed vinyl, wood or tile floors on my knees, never minded windows, and always had about an hour left after the house was clean. Some people had me put up holiday decorations, sweep the garage, or vacuum a car with the time left. Sometimes I was sent on errands. I helped set up for parties and took melted wax and wine spills out of the carpet after the parties.

I adored my customers and they treated me well and nobody fired me. I loved the work, the money, and the schedule. I always looked at it as getting paid for an aerobic workout, while providing a service meant to simplify the life of the homeowner.

There was only a couple of things I would not do: Laundry other than the sheets I took off your bed. Ovens, because it was just a quirk with me that my customers understood. I think I was more of a surface cleaner and protector, than a picker-upper type housekeeper. I have 2 SIL's still cleaning, one doing the big homes like I did for 50% more pay plus they cook her lunch. Whatever the local market can stand I guess! The other cleans up anything including dog poo and dirty dishes but is not going down on her knees to do floors.

I think if you get a service or cleaning person you don't like, don't waste any more time or money on them. There's lots of rip-offs out there. Other than those Merry Maids, there's no manual for us so we all come up with our own style. In my initial walk through of a home to give an estimate, I always asked what the owner's priorities were--like what would bug them the most if I ever ran out of time and had to skip it. Although I never went home until that place sparkled! We pay too much for our homes and work too hard for a wage to have someone come in and do a lousy job. So keep looking til you get a good cleaner, and tips and bonuses are loved in this field just like all others.

Whit: Yes, of course my own home is a wreck. If I was a mechanic, my car wouldn't run. haha!

Obvious ?: If I loved the job so much, how come I stopped? Had to, during my 4th pregnancy. Since then, it's just been easier to stay home. But if I work out again, it'll be cleaning toilets again. I really did like it!

Sia

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 01:42 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
After asking around for a long time in the area where I now live, I've finally located a woman who is willing to come to where we live (in the country) and help clean house. I feel like I need to get the house ship-shape before she starts, however!! I have lots of totes of clothing and fabric and boxes full of old papers that are stacked in corners and shoved under beds. Closet space is extremely limited in my house, and I have trouble parting with "junk."

I guess my goal is to have things squared away by Christmas and hope that she can start after that holiday and the accompanying mess is cleaned up and thrown out.

Marysafan, I wish I were good at mathematics the way you must be! Language arts is definitely my strong suit, not math! God bless ya, girl!

Whit4you

Sunday, December 01, 2002 - 02:03 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks guys - glad I shared it now..:) If I ever did write the story I'd have to do so as fiction like Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews you know.
And ya I thought about it when I was younger but I have so many ideas that if I ever do write a book, I'd want to write one about something that would help alot of people...you know?

Sia - have you checked out

http://www.flylady.net/

Good site :)

So all you peeps who clean the house before the cleaning lady comes over, do you wash your car before taking it to the car wash? :)