Archive through November 25, 2002
TV ClubHouse: Archives: Do you have a Thanksgiving horror story?:
Archive through November 25, 2002
Kristylovesbb | Saturday, November 23, 2002 - 08:31 pm     Here are mine,one sister cooked the packing in the turkey, and another ordered a precooked turkey, picked it up the day before turkey day on her lunch break, forgot she had it and left it in her car until the next day! I have to cook the turkey now. ps. I do not have a folder and did not know about them until now. Would someone make me one? Happy turkey day to all of you. |
Whoami | Saturday, November 23, 2002 - 08:36 pm     Kristy, You now have a folder! Kristylovesbb I sure hope I don't have to come back here Friday and relate a Thanksgiving horror story. It appears I will have to cook my first turkey ever come Thursday. Ahhhhhhh!  |
Jmm | Saturday, November 23, 2002 - 08:40 pm     Whoami, You'll do just fine. I've been doing it for the last 20+ years just don't lock the oven. lol |
Kristylovesbb | Saturday, November 23, 2002 - 09:03 pm     Thank you so much Whoami you are the greatest! |
Abbynormal | Saturday, November 23, 2002 - 09:32 pm     My first big Thanksgiving with the whole clan, HIS clan. I was 21. Everything turned out great except you know the piece of wax paper on frozen pie crusts? I didn't know! So we had great tasting pies with wax paper in them. I was mortified. I don't care now, cause I didn't like those people anyway. |
Squaredsc | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 07:09 am     well i cooked my first turkey with the parts still inside the bird and still in the baggie. |
Car54 | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 07:59 am     Me too, Square! The things your mom never mentioned! LOL |
Jagger | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 08:09 am     Years ago when I was young and stupid ( still stupid just not young any more) I attempted my first turkey. Noone told me it took several days to thaw a turkey so I took it out of the freezer turkey day morning and left it sit on the counter. Needless to say I didn't cook turkey that year, ended up going to a buffett for turkey dinner that year. |
Fanny | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 09:23 am     Although I only learned how to cook after I got divorced for marketability purposes, I make a really good turkey dinner with tons of side dishes and my turkeys have always turned out yummy. The worst Thanksgiving I ever had was years ago when we were invited to a couple's apartment for dinner. They were strange anyway and neither one of them could utter a sentence without calling the other some lovey-dovey nickname which got sickening after a while. (They had a cat who they named "Whitenose" and suggested we name our new kitten "Whitestomach"...we named her Phucke instead, lol.) Anyway, for Thanksgiving they bought a packaged turkey breast. They had canned sweet potatoes, instant mashed potatoes, store-bought rolls, canned cranberry sauce, canned green beans. Get the picture? Canned this, canned that, pre-packaged EVERYTHING. When they started fighting over who got to make the gravy, I thought well finally we might get something homemade out of this deal. "Oh, honey, I want to make the gravy". "But sweetums, *I* will make the gravy". "No, honey bunny it's *my* turn to make the gravy". The anticipation was making my mouth water. Imagine my crushing disappointment when I saw them pull out the gravy envelope. They were actually arguing over who was going to tear open the packet, sprinkle the powder into the pan, add water and stir. |
Sherbabe | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 10:24 am     I made my very first Thanksgiving Turkey when my son was about 4 years old. (he's 15 now). Everything went off with out a hitch, until we sat down to eat. My son took his first bite of turkey, apparantely it was too long for his mouth. He started to gag and before I knew what was happening he barfed all over his plate and the kitchen table. Thank God, it was just my husband, and me at the table. True story. I love going to other people's house for the big dinner, however, I miss the leftovers. |
Wargod | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 10:51 am     Hehe, Dakota's second Thanksgiving we had big plans. Family was all coming here, plus several friends. I had to work that morning, and got off at one, so hubby was in charge of cooking. I got home, and everything was almost done...smelled delicious. We got the kids dressed in their Holiday best, and were sitting around waiting for people to start showing up when we noticed Dakota looking a little green. When she started to throw up, we thought..no big deal...she was just over a year old, I could rock her and get her to sleep, or put her in her crib and sit with her. Just before my mom and step dad showed up, we noticed Caleb looking a little green, LOL. I had two kids puking all over my house, and no time to call people to let them know not to come. Luckily my bro in laws family had planned on having a second dinner and they invited everyone over to their house. Darren and I ended up with a huge Thanksgiving dinner, no one to share it with us, and watching tv, LOL. |
Lumbele | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 03:01 pm     Whoami, you'll do just fine. If you get stuck, fire up the computer and scream here. Your Canadian friends just did this very deed a month ago. They won't be in their kitchens all day, but available for emergency questions instead. Right, Gang? The one turkey dinner that sticks out in my mind was at Christmas many years ago. We were invited to a friend's house. Entering we could smell the most awful stench. Although she was an immaculate housekeeper, we knew that with an infant and a 3 year-old things happen. Once in the kitchen we were consulted as to whether this "funny smell" was normal for a turkey in the oven, while her dh chimed in with the suggestion that if she cooked it longer, the smell might go away. Turns out this Tom went bad somewhere between the farm and the store's freezer. Luckily there was a reserve turkey in my friend's freezer and we scrambled to defrost it for a very late dinner. There is something to be said for a cold climate, because she could stick that turkey out in the snow for safe keeping and stench control. On Boxing Day my friend marched right into that grocery store with a half-frozen, stinky gobble. Apparently, the manager got a whiff and quickly hustled her away from other customers to deal with one "mad hen". Thank God, the smell didn't go away with longer cooking or we would have all spent the rest of the holidays in hospital.  |
Sabbatia | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 03:45 pm     Thanksgiving is kinda sad for me because when my Dad was going through chemo and radiation, they were staying in Dallas. Therefore, it was up to me to cook my first Thanksgiving feast.....and what I knew would be his last. BTW, turkey and dressing were Dad's favs. Anyway, the cooking part went off without a hitch. Unfortunately, the chemo made Dad unable to eat it. I ended up packing it all up and sending it back to Dallas with them so they could have it on one of his good days. Last thanksgiving, my husband was frying turkeys for everyone the night before, and I was trying to find my mom to tell her I had her's ready. I called grandma looking for mom and grandma didn't sound good at all. She lived 50 miles away but I left immediately and took her to the hospital. She had a stroke, and almost died....but even though she's in a nursing home now, she's healthy and feisty again now. So Thanksgiving isn't exactly my favorite time of year. On a happier note, if you've never had fried turkey, it is well worth the cost of the frier. I've never had one juicer or tastier. It only takes 3mins per lb so it's fast too. |
Goddessatlaw | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 03:58 pm     Anyone have advice for spit-roasting a 15 lb turkey on a grill? Marriage Material gave me the turkey before he left for Cancun (so thoughtful), and I'm taking it home for my brother to use as an experimental project on his grill (although that wasn't the intent - I offered to bring the turkey home, and he offered to grill it. Anything to make him happy at this point, since I'm happy he's still here). Since he's never grilled a 15 lb turkey, I thought maybe I'd ask for some tricks. PS this is not the turkey we're having for Thanksgiving, so no big gravy concerns). Thanks in advance. PS bad Thanksgiving story. You know how on Thanksgiving you want it the way you want it, which is basically the way you got it growing up? So in law school I was dating this lawyer all my friends called Tarzan (because he looked like him). He took me to T-G dinner which some of his hippie friends were having at their farm. I didn't know from hippie, but I was glad to be able to share this dinner with them. Until dinner was served. They put grapes and nuts in the dressing, and had no mashed potatoes. Between the f/d up dressing, no mashed potatoes and his friends with whom I had nothing in common (I tried, believe me I tried), I should have broken up with him on the spot. Instead, I waited another month when he yelled at me for crying when my dog died. Then I broke up with him. SOB. |
Whit4you | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 06:21 pm     Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy China, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying. We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door. Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat. I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains. Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it. Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. I am thankful. .......author unknown |
Twiggyish | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 06:52 pm     One year when hubby and I were younger, I had a terrible stomach flu at Thanksgiving. That year we didn't go anywhere, because I was stuck in bed sick as a dog. My poor hubby, who also has a birthday on Thanksgiving, spent the day with left over macaroni and cheese. I felt so bad for him!! |
Suitsmefine | Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 07:18 pm     Whit, THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! |
Fruitbat | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 05:48 am     Our Thanksgiving host cooked her turkey overnight in a slow roaster. Their Bloodhound removed the lid, ate the entire turkey, joined them in bed at 4am and thew it up. The kitchen, dinning room and living room floors were covered in grease. We went out for Chinese food. |
Weenerlobo | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 06:46 am     Whit- that was priceless - Thank you!!! |
Squaredsc | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 11:15 am     omg whit, that was great. gal, marriage material is going to cancun for the holiday w/o you? how rude. ms. bat and others, roflmao. im sharing these with my friends. |
Goddessatlaw | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 11:39 am     No, quite the opposite on Marriage Material, Squared - he begged me to go multiple times, I turned him down b/c we're having a going away party for my brother over the holidays. He's all good. He's taking me to a resort in Phoenix in a couple of weeks.  |
Jkm | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 11:49 am     Goddess -- Bob and Tom have a recipe for grilling a turkey -- involves a can of beer up the turkeys you know what -- also has some other turkey recipes (deep fryed, regular) Yeah I know -- from Bob and Tom..... http://www.bobandtom.com/gen3/cook_book.htm my personal favorite it the turkey with tan lines on it.... |
Jkm | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 12:08 pm     The Tan-Line Turkey 1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes. 2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully (see attached) 3. Roast according to your own recipes and serve. 4. Watch your guests as they try to decide where to start carving.
 |
Squaredsc | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 01:08 pm     oh ok gal, then that's alright. i take it back. |
Goddessatlaw | Monday, November 25, 2002 - 01:10 pm     - and I made him ask my Dad again, too. More sweating, more thumping of chests. What a riot. |
|