Archive through September 23, 2002
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TV ClubHouse: Archive: The Neverending Tacky Gumshoe Novel (aka The Story Thread): Archive through September 23, 2002

Hillbilly

Saturday, September 21, 2002 - 10:48 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Wow! I bet you're wondering...just what exactly is a 'Neverending Tacky Gumshoe Novel'?

It's a story thread based on the old Sam Spade detective novels. One person starts the story and leaves it open so someone else can come along and add their bit to the story.

Okay...here's the deal..er...rules

1) Keep it fun!

2) Make sure there is story 'continuity'...your post can go anywhere but should blend with the posts that came before it.

3) Your contribution can be as short or long as you want as long as it 'fits'.

4) Try not to back the story into a corner so the next person has somewhere to go.

Hillbilly

Saturday, September 21, 2002 - 10:55 am EditMoveDeleteIP
It was a cold, dark stormy night, when I slid my car in front of the "Moonlight Saloon". It was the kind of place that invites the lonely souls of the city.

As I walked into the bar, I noticed a tall, mysterious woman brooding at the end of the bar. She barely looked my way as I ordered a whiskey from the bartender but I knew......


<next>

Flyonthwall

Saturday, September 21, 2002 - 12:41 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
She was trouble with a capital T. I've seen her type before. Knew to stand clear of that kind, but like a moth to a flame, I found my eyes drifting over.

Her long brown hair hung over her lush dark lashed eyes. Red lips glistened as she slowly sipped from her glass of wine.
That red dress hung over her body like plastic warp over yesterday's left overs in the ice box.
Every morsal on display but sealed thightly to keep it fresh.

She took out a cigerette and lit it with long slender fingers tipped with bright red nail polish.

A flickering flame signaling the heat that poured from her aura.

Red, trouble. A signal for me to look the other way. Slam that whiskey and walk out that door and don't look back.

But something kept pulling me back to her.
Something I couldn't name, but I knew it was there.

So I decided to make my move.....next

Bigd

Saturday, September 21, 2002 - 01:56 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
So I grabbed my whiskey and turned to move to her end of the bar. Just then, I noticed the red haired, thug in the back corner. He held something slender and dark in his hand and he looked suspiciously out of place. In that moment of hesitation.........

Twiggyish

Saturday, September 21, 2002 - 02:01 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I saw the flash of silver, and heard a thud behind me. Turning around, I gasped in shock, as the body of the woman came into my hazy view. A knife, long and deadly, potruded from her chest.
Bending down I noticed the object clutched in her blood red nailed hand....

(not trying to be gory here, but we need a murder to make this a cheesy novel)

Hillbilly

Saturday, September 21, 2002 - 02:52 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
<dang Twiggy...ya killed off the purty gal>

I quickly pried the object from her hand and ran after the thug. It was too late. By the time I had reached the parking lot, all that was left was the dim glow of two tail lights fading into the gloomy dark of night.

I returned to the bar and found the bartender rummaging through the handbag of the mysterious woman. Who was she? Was she the one who left the ominous message on my answering machine?

It was only then that I remembered the object I held in my hand. Slowly, I opened my hand and saw...

<next>

Twiggyish

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 08:40 am EditMoveDeleteIP
a note, written in a spidery hand. The words, "Danielle without a soul and Roddy is the devil" floated on the page. What did this mean? I decided to take the paper to an expert..

Flyonthwall

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 10:43 am EditMoveDeleteIP
So before the cops engulfed the place and took my little left over evidence. I abscounded with it out the back and down the alley.

I grabbed a cab a block over and within an hour I was at Vinny's. Considering it was only 10 min away, I realized I'd been had by the taxi driver named Abdul.

I handed Vinny the note. A look of shock came over him. He knew that I knew, that he knew, that I knew it was the same Roddy that Danielle knew!

But what he didn't know was, that I had figured it out long ago.
That message on my answering machine was a mystery, up until the note came into my hands.

A sultry voice whispered: "The angel and the devil will have a battle. In the end, the Devil will rise up over the angel and say YOU ARE NO WILL!!!"

For a while I couldn't figure it all out, but then it all made sense. Vinny told me that he'd seen Roddy dash in and out of several bars meeting with strangers over the last few days!
I dashed back out and grabbed another cab, speeding my way towards the bar. This time it only took 10 minuets, because Abdul was out on another route!

When I arrived, the place was empty.
The bartender wasn't the same one who was there earlier.
The dame was gone. Not dead.

So this ment I had been played. Played with a capital P.

Now it was up to me to find this dame with the red nail polish, and have her point me in the right direction.

Either that or find this Roddy character and see if he knew where the souless one's had gone.
So I decided to........

next
Okay I'm going to be gone for a week and I want a good story when I get back! LOL so keep up the good work and DON'T kill off the main players till the end eh? LOL

Twiggyish

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:08 am EditMoveDeleteIP
What should I do? WHAT SHOULD I DO? Who was this Danielle? Who was this devil Roddy? Why did the woman with red nails carry this note with her?

The stale smell of beer and smoke wafted to my nostrils, like steam on hot concrete, and I covered my nose and waved my hands to get rid of the stench. Suddenly, my eyes feasted on the slouching man in the corner. I'd missed him upon first glance of the joint. A large fedora covered half his face, but I KNEW who he was...

Bigd

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:18 am EditMoveDeleteIP
If Gerry still thought he had all the answers, I'd be more than willing to listen to whatever he had to offer.

My relationship with Gerry had been tenious at best. Never had I encountered one with the capacity to grin and bear what might get dished out to him. This caused me to constantly question his loyalties and God knows, I am in need of a loyal ally.

Hillbilly

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:28 am EditMoveDeleteIP
So I sauntered over to corner and sat opposite the slouching man. A knowing smile was on his face as he slowly and deliberately misquoted Shakespeare.

A clue? What did it mean? How was Gerry involved with this dame? But he refused to say more.

As I was leaving, I noticed a book lying on the table in front of him with an inscription that said.....

Twiggyish

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 12:07 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
"To the only man I've ever loved, by M" .. My thoughts swirled in confusion, like debris in a tornado. Could the woman in red nails be this, "M"?
The low whispering voice began to weave quite an unbelievable tale of deception and lying.... (and that was just the start)

Halfunit

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 02:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
He spoke:

"O happy dagger, to be or not to be. Something is rotton in the Moonlight Saloon. Alas, poor Roddy! I knew him. That he's mad, 'tis true, 'tis true, 'tis pity. Good night! Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I have to get home to my wife!"

And with that he was gone, forgetting his book in his haste. I reached for the book and scanned the pages, shocked at what I saw...

Buttercup

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 03:55 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tucked between pages 56 and 57 were print-outs of the Bunny tales. Was Bunny involved in a conspiracy?

Then it dawned on me...nobody had ever really seen Bunny, and nobody knew her real name. I looked at the title of the book again, "To the only man I've ever loved, by M." I looked back at the Bunny tales and realized it was last year's tales.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a handsome muscular man enter the Moonlight Saloon. It was Hardy! My thoughts started racing--could the sexy mysterious Miss M be Bunny?

Before I could finish my thoughts...

Twiggyish

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 04:58 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Running quickly, I caught up to the man. His cloaked face, hid his emotions from my discerning eye. Turning quickly, I saw his glance at an object high on the wall. It buzzed as he moved, and I realized it was following him.
Adjusting my thick glasses, I focused, like a hawk on the prowl, at the oblong device. It appeared to be...

Oregonfire

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 08:09 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
...a model airplane that the man was controlling from under his trenchcoat. The man seemed to be daring to me to reach the airplane, which buzzed up and down the wall as he entered the Moonlight Saloon. Suddenly it dropped to the ground and I rushed over to examine it carefully. Inside the pilot's seat was a mini-cassette tape, the type found in old answering machines. I had a machine like that at my apartment, so decided to see if I could play the tape at home. I had a feeling that I'd be seeing the man again, that he had given me all the clues I needed for now.

As I walked into the run-down lobby of my 8-story walk up building, the scent of clover cigarettes hung heavily in the air. Instantly the hair stood up an the back of my neck, and I raced up the eight flights of stairs to my apartment.

When I got there, I saw that the lock had been sawed out, and the door was wide open. The place had been ransacked. Tables turned over, files pulled out of cabinets, stuffing ripped out of sofas and chairs. Across the living room wall was a message scrawled in red lipstick. It was the same shade as the woman's in the bar, a message from beyond. It read...

Bigd

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 09:50 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Expect the un-expected

Flyonthwall

Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:40 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
The flashing neon sign that blinked off and on outside the window, lit up the room with shadow and light.

Renting this hole in China Town was a good idea at the time, because I thought no one would ever find me here. But it turned out it was dumb with a capital D.

I rumaged around by a turned over table and found my tape recorder. I placed the tape in the machine and heard a lot of static then the muffled voice flitered out the clicking of the train as it passed across the tracks.

"...listen....it's not going to turn out like you think....expect the un-expected....I'm not the person you tought I was.....it was all a plot to frame me...you have to find the...Stop!...DON'T!!!..."

Suddenly there was nothing but the sound of white noise.
I listened until I thought I was about to fall alseep, then slammed the tape recorder off.

Looking under the cabinet in the kitchen I grabbed the whiskey bottle I had hidden there.
Not bothering with a glass I drank long and slow from the bottle.

Dragging my hand across my mouth, I thought about the lips that wore that red lipstick.
Who was that woman?
Who was the M?
Who was the man who gave me the tape?

So many questions, so little time.
I walked back and looked at the writting on the wall.
A fliker of a shadow went over the wall, and I turned swiftly around. No one was there.
I threw the bottle down and raced from the room.

I lended over the broken down stair railing, from the bottom of the stairs I caught the fleeting sight of....

(last one before I'm off for the week Great job gang!)

Twiggyish

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 05:45 am EditMoveDeleteIP
stiletto heels and a trench coat. There was something vaguely familiar about the fleeing figure.
Making myself a cup of Joe, I again picked up the mysterious book. The smell of cheap perfume and smoke wafted from the worn pages. Coughing, I perused the book.. looking for that one clue.
What was this? A business card, stuck firmly between two pages. Bellys? Even the name, caused shivers down my spine. The epiphany struck me like lightning on a summer day.. I had to find it!
In small letters across the bottom, I read the name Mike Boogie..... Could Boogie be the mysterious "M"?.........

Turner97

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:53 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Still wondering how to find this "Belly" place I turned over the card.

On the back was a strange message that could only be code...

FOTH 7/24

and again it was signed with the single inital "M" but this one was diffrent...

Draheid

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 10:28 am EditMoveDeleteIP
...I decided I didn't have time to try and decipher this now so I slipped the card into my inside coat pocket and pulled out a smoke. As I lit the end of my smoke, the flame from my Zippo lit up the entry way just enough for me to spot the figure of a woman who appeared to be in desperate need of a perm, standing in the doorway to my apartment. She saw me looking at her through the light of the flame from my lighter and turned to run down the stairs ... but not before giving me another message to ponder ...

'OPPOSITE'

That's all she said, "Opposite". What could that mean? I was stunned just thinking about this. Suddenly, as I turned to follow this mysterious woman, there was a slight sound of someone raising their arms behind me. Out of the dark, something came across the back of my head and as I slumped to the floor, I passed out cold...

Babyruth

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 11:52 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I awoke in my apartment to the kind of headache you get after a night of drinking bad booze and staring at FOTH. At first I felt all foggy headed, but then my mind cleared and I remembered the dame in the doorway, and her cryptic message to me: OPPOSITE.

I washed down three aspirin with a swig of mouthwash and splashed my face with some cold water. I reached for the phone and started to dial. I needed help with this one, and I knew there was only one person I could count on...

Draheid

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:10 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
...my old pal, Jason. I finished dialing, and while I listen to the ringing, I reached into my inside coat pocket to look at the card again. IT WAS GONE! Someone had stolen the one clue I thought for sure would help me track down this mysterious woman with the lucious red lips.

Suddenly, Jason was on the other end of the line. "Hello?" "Hello? Is anybody there?"

I said, "Jason, it's me, your old pal. How you doin' since you got outta the joint?"

He said, "A bit overwhelmed, but I'm sure that's not what you called for. What's on your mind?"

I said, "Ok, I won't beat around the bush. I've got a tough one, I tell ya." And I proceeded to tell him all the details of this mysterious woman, the book, the Bunny's updates in the book, and the card, which I no longer had. After giving him all the details, I said, "Jason, are you still there?"

And, with a sigh in his voice, he said, "...

Goddessatlaw

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:32 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
"555-6969. It's the number of Chiara's lawyer, CBScumsucker. Don't be surprised if you detect a surfeit of prickery in his voice - he has a Napoleonic complex to beat the band and looks for all the world like a seadonkey. Makes him mean and makes him evil - the man has subscriptions, I tell you, but he knows his stuff and he knows about this. I can't tell you anymore."

Then - a muffled sound and an ominous dial tone. A bad omen . . . Did Jason hang up, or was there more to this mystery than originally appeared? With the warning lights going off in my head like a flashing disco ball, I decided to confront CBScumsucker personally. Slowly and carefully, while ignoring premonitions of gunplay and subpoenaed dental records, I . . .

Bigd

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 01:22 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
grabbed my car keys. I needed to make a quick trip to the store. I am a serious P B & J guy, and my supply had been reduced to nothing. I find that I can apply logic and reasoning to any situation, if I have a full stomach and at least one Citrona. This is a rather embarrasing habit I developed in college.

My roommate and I were self supporting and paying our own way through school and had limited resources, so we found a P B & J sandwich could be quite filling, and of course everyone knows how cheap and easy Citronas are to come by.

Never in my wildest imagination.......