Archive through October 21, 2002
TV ClubHouse: Archive: Why I have not been around lately:
Archive through October 21, 2002
Aussiedeb | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 07:56 am     Hi gang, I havent had time to come here,post etc.. so much going on right now. I really could use some prayers, thoughts, energy etc right now. I had back surgery just over 2 weeks ago, had it at 6pm at night, went to college for 8am class the next morning in a wheelchair. My doc wasnt happy but said to take it easy. All was fine, then hubby went to work that next night, and came home a mess. He went to work fri night, and I had to go get him take him to the ER. The saturday I took him to the VA hospital ER which is a 2hr each way drive for me, my doc said no long drives. Hubby goes to work that night, I have to take him again to the ER. This went on for a few days, me no rest, him at the hospital. He is a gulf war veteran that is now diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and with all the news of the US and Iraq it has brought out really bad anxiety attacks. They have him now off work = no money. He is on high powered psych meds that means he cant drive or work, but is still going to college, but I have to drive him. He has applied for disability through work so that we would at least get 60% of his wages, but its still in the pipeline. I have been working at the college still so at least we have a little income, but I am not working as much since I am still in so much pain and having to take him to appointments. I live on vicodin, and this weekend noticed my spine has caved in where the surgery took place, so I will have to contact my surgeon tomorrow to see what is wrong. The college has let me lend a motorized scooter to get around campus, and I have to use a walker with wheels to walk with. We really need some good thoughts, energy, prayers to help us get thru all this. I am so run down right now, that today is my 1 day off, and I am going to do absolutely nothing. Thanks for listening, and I am still watching S5 and TAR3. Deb |
Kaili | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 08:03 am     Aussiedeb!!! I hope everything turns out alright! Thanks for the message! {{{{{{Aussiedeb}}}}}}}} Feel better! |
Car54 | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 08:14 am     OMG, Deb...I had been wondering where you were...and you had all this bad stuff happening! Please take care of yourself and your husband. This sounds like a very stressful time for both of you. Let us know how you are doing...I will be thinking about you. |
Juju2bigdog | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 08:33 am     {{{{{Aussiedeb}}}}} I am trying to think who could help you out with driving the husband back and forth instead of you. Sometimes the local bus company has special buses that will do custom runs for people with disabilities. Our city does that. Maybe a United Way agency? Good luck. |
Moondance | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 09:30 am     AussieDeb... I have MISSED you! Your fun and energy have been missed on the board! I am so sorry you are going through this.... you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers |
Weinermr | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 10:31 am     Aussiedeb, what an ordeal you have been going through! I've thought about you and wondered why we hadn't seen you here more often. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. As Juju suggests, hopefully you'll be able to find some alternate transporation for your husband so that you can find some respite for yourself. Check out your area accomodations for seniors. Even though you and your husband are not seniors yourselves, you can still often avail yourself of various services that are offered to seniors and to the disabled. Good luck and let us know how you're doing. You know that we care. |
Aussiedeb | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 10:57 am     Thanks gang, I am feeling pretty low right now. The VA paid some money towards our overdue rent, hubby has tried family members to see if they would help, all they said was go to the church. Well he did that today and all they told him was to pray. I was like that does not buy gas and food.. VA will try to help with transporting him to Dayton, but I need to be there with him in his appointments and he has convulsions in the waiting room there. We get our excess student loan money on wednesday and the college already has the money, but will NOT give it early to us. Pretty much life is so bad right now, we were always the first to help his family out but no one will help us now. I am trying to hang in there but my own depression is creeping back in today. He was supposed to see VA on friday for a food voucher, but didnt.. Thanks all Deb |
Bookworm | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 11:16 am     Oh Deb! We are thinking of you. Praying that things turn around soon. |
Shanga | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 11:47 am      |
Fruitbat | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 12:29 pm     Aussiedeb! How grim. I will be thinking about you and sending positive thoughts. Please stick around for some support. |
Whoami | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 01:34 pm     Aussiedeb, I've also missed you around here. You and hubby are also in my thougths and prayers. It sounds like you are doing the right thing in reaching out to people. My prayers will also be for you to reach out to the right people. {{{{Aussideb}}}} {{{{Ausiedeb's Husband}}}} |
Oregonfire | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 02:28 pm     Aussiedeb, I hope things get better for you and your husband quickly. I see bright things in your future, and this to shall pass.  |
Cricket | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 02:30 pm     Aussiedeb, I don't know you, but am so sorry for your bad health problems right now. The only thing I can say is PLEASE take care of yourself and rest your body to recover from the back surgery. My sister had back surgery years ago and didn't take enough time to rest and is in chronic pain today. You need to talk to your husband and tell him you understand what he is going through but he still needs to handle his basic responsibilities. Have you tried any charity groups like Red Cross or St. Vincent de Paul? The main thing you need to concentrate on is giving your back time to heal. That will determine if the rest of your life will be pain free or not. Contact your local Congressman or Senator and ask them what they are doing about your husband's illness. Maybe they will contact the VA and get you some more help. Do something for yourself to stave off the depression if you can. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband during this trying time. |
Weinermr | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 02:44 pm     Aussiedeb, I know it is difficult at a time like this, but Cricket is right in telling you that resting is the best thing for you right now. It's so hard to do that, with all the responsibilities you have right now to yourself and your husband. Vicodin can be a mighty wonderful thing when you are in lots of pain. But it can also cause or exaggerate some of the negative feelings you are having right now. 9 years ago I had a herniated disk removed, and was on Vicodin for the severe pain I was having. The doctor warned me about the possible negative side effects of the Vicodin, and that it can be addictive. Frankly, he scared me, and I slowly tapered off of it. People told me that while I was on Vicodin I was acting differently but I didn't believe them. One morning after I had tapered off of it, I woke up, and felt entirely different emotionally than I had felt for weeks. I attribute that to the Vicodin. During that time, Vicodin was for me the best thing in the world. I would have stayed on it the rest of my life if I had the chance. But I'm glad I didn't. I don't want to minimize the physical pain you're feeling right now, because I know how powerful that can be. But rest, rest, rest, as much as possible. Let your body heal. Take Tylenol, Advil, whatever else you can take to moderate the pain, and you will feel better in the long run. I'm sorry to get preachy, and the last thing I want you to think I'm doing is being critical, but I just wanted you to have the benefit of my own experience in a similar situation. Good luck - and again, please know that we care. |
Urgrace | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 04:10 pm     {{{{Aussiedeb}}}} thank you for bringing us up to date and thinking of coming back to tvch for support. My best wishes to you and your dh. I just wish there was more we could do for you besides words, but prayers are important. The people here have some good inspiration and I hope it helps. Sincerely, Urgrace |
Sia | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 06:07 pm     for AussieDeb. I'm so sorry to hear that you've had back surgery and that your hubby's not doing well. I'm sure the V.A. does provide transportation to their hospitals for treatment/surgeries, as my great-uncle has made use of this service, and I think they may offer rides for check-ups, as well. Please call them and ask what help they can provide. If your husband has been diagnosed as having PTSD, perhaps he would qualify to get a case-manager assigned to him from your local community mental health services agency. The case manager would transport Hubby to appointments, whether for counseling or for medical services. Have you contacted the local human services office to get an appointment? You probably qualify for Medicaid coverage for doctor visits and medications and very possibly for food stamps. Your local Community Action agency should give an application for HEAP (emergency assistance with heating bills, regardless of the way you heat your home), and the various utility companies who supply your power and gas, etc. have payment plans (including percentage-of-income plans, etc.) as well as grants for people in financial difficulty. Please check into the help available and accept that help; you're entitled to it because you and your husband have paid into those programs for years. You need to take care of yourself, Aussie, and get rest when you can. Don't risk damaging your back by overdoing things. Who is handling the motorized scooter for you? You can't lift anything like that! I'm assuming that it stays on campus, but who stores it and gets it out for you? You're in my thoughts and prayers.  |
Aussiedeb | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 06:43 pm     Thanks everyone, I really need the support today. I guess its the only day of the week I am not busy, and it all just got to me. I am classed as well managed depression, I take daily meds for it and its always a struggle. I try to be so strong and brave, but deep down I am not. I have shed many tears today, and to come here and see the support is wonderful. Would you believe the field I am studying is Human Services and social work? I am learning what is out there for help, but thats mainly up where I go to college and not in our county. Hubby went to church, saw the priest and all he said was to pray, hubbys family refuse to help, and mine wont as they are in Australia anyway. The only friends I have are at college, and I wont see them till tomorrow. My hubby barely knows I exist right now, all he does is sleep, take his meds and sleep. He is not the man I married or who helped me thru the depression and suicide attempts 2 years ago. I broke down early last week at him to tell him he MUST start to help me, I am not physically capable right now. I didnt know that about the vicodin weinermr, that is not good. I was on oxycontin but they were horrible with side effects, vicodin doesnt even take the pain away it just lessens it a little, but I will mention it to my surgeon though, thank you. The scooter was organised thru my advisor at college, and it remains on campus. All I do is use the walker to get to the main building which is next to where I park, and hop on it. I then use my cane to get into the bathrooms etc. My surgeon wanted me to get a wheelchair, but I am unable to lift that one. VA is helping us a bit, hubby was supposed to go there on friday to get a food voucher, but didnt read my note I left. I drive him to college with me tomorrow and we are there from 7.30am till 8.30pm, but only have half day tuesday, so will go to VA then. I went round and found loose change so we have at least a little money till wednesday morning, and I do have some food in the freezer, its just all getting to me today. Thank you all for the support and wishes and advice, you all truly are amazing Deb |
Knightpatti | Sunday, October 20, 2002 - 06:48 pm     Hugs and prayers to you and your husband! |
Sia | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 12:18 am     Just checking in on you, Aussie. Keep thinking positively. Hugs to you. I'm so glad you expressed clearly to hubby what you need from him; otherwise, he might not know. Something will break through to him, surely, and help him reach up out of the place he's in right now. The Gulf War was a major stressor for so many military (and non-military) personnel; even though it's been 12 years ago since it started, I guess I can see how the current situation in the Middle East might cause tensions to ratchet up a few notches. Has your hubby reacted the same way to other military/police actions in which we've been involved? Just curious, since that might help indicate what triggered and then what helped calm him in those instances. |
Aussiedeb | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 02:34 am     Thanks Sia, He was fine for years, or so I had thought, till all this started up again with the US and Iraq, now we cant watch the news, have papers laying around. I made the mistake of telling him about the bombings in Bali and how so many Aussies got killed etc..he later told me I shouldnt have told him that. It is so sad to watch him freak out like he is, this is such a loving, quiet guy, and its heartbreaking. He now has such bad anxiety attacks in the waiting room at VA I am afraid to let him go alone now, last one was convulsions, but his psychiatrist got to witness it too, so she put him on meds to stop it. Now all the meds are making him a zombie, but it seems to at least stop the anxiety. Well better get ready for college this morning, thought I would say hi and thanks again. I am feeling a little better this morning knowing my friends here are wonderful. Deb |
Squaredsc | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 02:46 am     aussiedeb, im am so very sorry for what you and your husband are going through. sending big hugs your way. ((((Aussiedeb)))) and i will keep you in my thoughts.  |
Sia | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 05:01 am     Deb, it must be hard to remain entirely patient with your husband. It might seem to some people that he could just snap out of it and deal with reality. The mind is just such a delicate instrument. I certainly don't have the answers, but I think you do need to treat him with patience and love. I don't know if I have that much patience; I tend to be rough on my loved ones when they don't display the maturity and coping skills I expect. I need to work on that. Hey, hang in there, Aussiedeb.  |
Azriel | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 09:21 am     Aussiedeb, do you have a paypal account? If some of us just mailed her a couple of dollars each it might be enough for her to buy gas and food till she can get her money in. It's horrible to be sick, but to be sick and have to worry about just the bare essentials to survive is just awful My thoughts and prayers are with you, Deb. |
Cricket | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 09:46 am     I was wondering the same thing Azriel. It would be a kind thing to do. Also, I can't believe the priest just told your husband to pray, Aussiedeb. I'm Catholic and when we give extra to Catholic Charities it's supposed to go to local Catholic Charities to help people in temporary need. You and your husband should definitely qualify for that. Maybe if you ask the priest for the local Catholic Charity, you can speak with them. |
Ladytex | Monday, October 21, 2002 - 12:05 pm     AussieDeb, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. |
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