Have you ever packed up and transferred to another state? Advise needed!
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TV ClubHouse: Archive: Have you ever packed up and transferred to another state? Advise needed!

__Tera

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:04 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
My nerves are shot! My husband has informed me that he is up for a promotion (and most likely will get it). This involves moving from my beloved state of Texas. I have lived here most of my life and love it. If this news would have came a year earlier, I would feel better about it. But, a year ago we bought a beautiful house that we love very much. Am I crazy for thinking the house is what is holding me back?

I do want what is best for my husband and his career. I am just such a routine person, that the thought of leaving this place is driving me nuts.

One second I find it very exciting, and the next I am shaking like a leaf. The exciting part is we would be moving to the Las Vegas area. That is also the scary part.

Please.... if someone has ever been in this situation, let me know how you dealt with it. And... if anyone lives in the Vegas area, please let me know how you like living there.

Thank you.

Car54

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:25 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I did it 3 times in 3 years. I had 3 mid-life crises in a row...changed jobs, moved across country.... did it 3 times til I found the right thing.

Making the decision was the hardest part. I left a place I had lived for 18 years, had roots, friends, a home... and once the leap was made, never looked back.

It is hard work, and scary at the same time, but once you leap... the fun part starts...new home, new city, a chance to start fresh with everything.

I think Kstme and Angelnikki are from Las Vegas...they may be able to offer some ideas.

Rissa

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:27 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tera, Been there, done that. Twice. LOL

First time was hardest, same position as you are in. Lived in same city since birth and was only 10 minutes from my parents who lived in the same house that I was born in. I hated having to find a new job (God, I hate interviews), making new friends, etc. And especially once I had kids, I was homesick constantly. We had 13 years there and were finally in our dream house by year 11. 3900 square feet (plus a 2,000 sq ft basement) on a 3/4 acre city lot. We bought it to lock-up and spent two years installing marble, wood floors, tiles, etc. The community builder actually paid me $250 a shot to let prospective buyers tour our house rather than their own show-home. RFLOL!! Just months after it was completed, hubby was transferred back home again. In some ways the 2nd move was easier... after all, I was coming home!!! But it never occurred to me that while it might be MY home, that my girls were born in Ontario and I was laughing giddily while they were leaving everything THEY knew behind.

A couple months ago, hubby was up for another transfer which would have taken us back to Ontario. Thankfully fate stepped in and he managed to get the same promotion here. But it was a nail-biting summer. :) The bottom line is if your husband is anything like mine or in a similiar situation than he can't turn down the job without hurting his future at the company. So the move is a go no matter what YOU want, right? {sigh} So you pick up some books on Vegas, make stick-it notes with the exciting things there are to do there and leave them all over the house. Go online and research the housing, being in control of what you might buy is enpowering and you just might find another dream house! Put up a city map and stick tabs on the neighborhoods you prefer and check out shopping, schools, etc that are nearby. Buy a new *Vegas* wardrobe and just pysch yourself up for a great adventure.

My biggest suggestion is to stay organized, no matter how much work it is. It is so much more stressfull when you hit a week or two before the move and you still have a tonne of stuff to do. If you keep writing down plans, to-do lists and the like and stay on top of it, then that part of the move won't add to the general emotionalism of it.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Kstme

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:44 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tera...I'm probably NOT the best person to ask about Vegas...LOL I HATE IT! Been here for 11 years and still can't stand the place! I hate the heat, the lack of green trees and unless you have children in school or you work outside the home, people just aren't friendly! We've lived in the same neighborhood most of the time we've been here and we know "who" people are, but that's it!

We came here from Washington St. Everybody knew everybody and we all had block parties. We played cards or just got together almost every weekend with someone we knew. It was a RUDE awakening here!

BUT...if your husband is moving with his company you probably won't have a problem making friends and LOVING it here! After all, this is the World's Largest Playground!

If you want to ask me anything, please feel free to email me...in profile and I'll try to give unbiased answers!

Max

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 12:50 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Change is always scary. Especially if you're a person who values routines.

Only way to do it is one step at a time while constantly reminding yourself that there will be good things about the new place, too.

My ex-husband and I moved from California to Oregon in 1989, but that's really different than what you're facing -- not nearly the climate/culture differences as from Texas to Vegas (although climate depends on where you are in Texas :)). Also, we BOTH wanted to make the change, it was something we'd planned on for several years, so it wasn't like being uprooted. Still, though, it's scary coming someplace where you don't know anyone and you have to get set up with all new everything.

Whatever happens, keep your sunny side up! :)

Bigd

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 01:12 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
It's a VERY stressful decision AND it's very stressful to move. Moving is one of the 5 most stressful events in a lifetime. There is no secret recipe to success. 13 years ago I moved from my hometown in Shreveport, Louisiana to Asheville, North Carolina. It was a difficult move, I found the area beautiful and enjoyed the mountains, but my husband, my youngest children and I just weren't happy living there. In that 22 months, I made about 5 trips home. It became like an extended vacation that we wanted to end. We lived there for 22 months and returned to Shreveport. 4 years ago this October, we moved from Shreveport, Lousiana to Kenosha, Wisconsin. It was a drastic move in every aspect you can imagine. Once again it was a job related promotion that simply could not be passed up, but this time it required much more committment on our part, so we knew we were coming to stay for at least 10 years. We are 4 years into it, and have made the transition very well. We are relatively happy here. We immediately joined a Tennis/Fitness Center and made friends, and we immediately got involved in a church. By becoming involved in something outside our home, we found it much easier to be comfortable and content. Both of these moves strengthened out marriage, and we developed a whole new dependance upon each other. In the four years we have lived here, I have made about 10 trips home. We use both air and car transportation. Home is only a 15 hour drive.

You can do it. It requires a sacrifice, and an attitude of acceptance on your part as well as your extended family.

Nicoleme

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 01:49 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Ive always wanted to just pack up and move...the idea is romantic to me. of course, i would like to move to another small town. i would love to move to Iowa, or Indiana...anywhere, well anywhere that has seasons... i live in maine now and couldnt stand christmas without snow, fall without the leaves turning red, orange, yellow... i know, im crazy right??

Juju2bigdog

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 02:18 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Houses is houses, Tera. You got LIFE to live. and look at it this way, you've already got a friend in Vegas, Kstme! Plus she has a pool and cool dogs.

I have moved for my job about every five years, but I was always the one with the exciting job to go to at the new place. Husband got to do the scary house stuff, LOL. I have lived in a lot of different places, including Texas for eight years. Every place has something to recommend itself. You just have to find out what that is and learn to take advantage of it.

I think Rissa's advice about getting organzied, making the lists, etc., is right on. Also don't be afraid to get rid of "stuff" now before the move. Most peple have way too much stuff that they don't need. And if you get rid of something and later find out you needed it, guess what? They got more "stuff" in Vegas.

Car54

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 02:26 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Actually, Juju just mentioned one of the best things about moving...it forces you to clean out your "stuff"!
After my spate of mid-life crises, I have stayed put for 5 years now, and I am so full of junk again! Feel another crisis coming on any time now!

Wargod

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 02:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tera, I actually have no advice to offer on this other than, well...I've lived here 24 years out of 29, and I know it'd be hard to leave. It'd be a huge adjustment, but being organized will be a life saver!

I did read an article about having kids and having to move. Not sure if you have kids, but some of the ideas seemed good. Like have a calendar for the month before the move....things like visit friends, go favorite places or restaurants, stuff to help the children say good bye. Also had suggestions of finding books/magazines about the place you're moving to to show the kids what their new home will be like. Good luck to you!

Oh, and Juju.....could you come get ME organized?????? I have so much stuff but hate to throw things out....sigh!

__Tera

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 03:22 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I want to thank all of you for replying to my post and offering some very good advise. After I made my post I stepped away from my computer to do housework and started bawling like a baby.

Juju, you are right, a house is a house. I fell in love with this one. I am sure I can love another.

Kstme, as soon as I get my thoughts and questions together, I will email you... THANK YOU

Tess

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 03:25 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
<reminds Juju that anyone who goes down to get War organized also has to COOK>

Kstme

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 03:32 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tera...I promise to be as truthful as I can! Las Vegas is not a small town anymore! We'll be in Wargod's backyard before you know it!

Unfortunately, cool dogs are usually in pool!

Wargod

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 04:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tess, please!!!!! Don't keep reminding her! I'm sitting here wondering if the kids will accept string cheese, a plum, and koolaid for dinner.....somehow I doubt it! LOL.

Kstme, you're welcome in my backyard anytime you want! Except for this fall and winter....and maybe into spring. It's an absolute fright! Besides he new dog digging HUGE holes all over the place, I have to get back there and dig up everything that didn't survive, plus I want to tear out all the grass, rototile, and replant. Then you're welcome in my backyard anytime you want!

Kstme

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 04:19 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
War...LOL...reread my post! ALL of Vegas will be in your backyard soon!

geez...War...I missed something...NEW doggie????? How old? How awsome! That makes two, right?

Tess

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 04:32 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
War, do you seriously want someome coming to help you out who CAN'T cook? Really, what would be the point?

On the topic of this thread, I moved from San Francisco to Minnesota half of my life ago. I never thought I would leave California, much less San Francisco after being born and raised there, but here I am. Everyone has made very good points. I moved here alone, so the first thing I did was join the nearest church of my faith and become involved. The first week I was there, I joined the choir and it snowballed from there. If I had moved with school-aged children, I would have become very active in the school in order to meet people.

My husband moved from the D.C area to Minnesota 10 years after I arrived here. We came from opposite coasts and met each other at church. Our families still live primarily on the east and west coasts but we've long since been "adopted" by very nice families here.

So, my best advice (after you've done all the organizational and research things you need to get yourself moved) is to get involved right away in something....anything....whether it's a church, school, charity, politics, part-time or full-time job. I've always gone by the philosophy that I can be happy anywhere in the world because the happiness comes from within. That may sound simplistic, but it's true. This could be put to the test in the future since DH wants to move to the Carolinas when our daughter reaches college age. Fortunately, she's only in her 4th week of Kindergarten. :)

Good luck!

Wargod

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 04:34 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Yep, new dog is female beagle...she's five and the most loving dog I've ever seen. She cuddles with the kids, she plays with them, she's great. The only problems are she digs HUGE holes, and she likes to run out the front door....luckily for us, she always comes when called, so she doesn't get out of the front door, LOL.

All of Vegas is invited to my backyard, LOL.....next summer! I know what you mean though. I was 21 the first time I went to Vegas, and in 8 years, I'd swear that place has doubled in size.

Oh, Tera, I have some advice about Vegas itself.....besides the obvious to hook up with Kstme and enjoy her company, LOL. Mapquest is useless inside Vegas city limits. It changes so fast, and so much construction going on that by the time you print directions out....the way has already changed, LOL.

Kstme

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 04:42 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
War is paid BIG BUCKS to say nice things about me! Btw...she and her hubby are pretty awsome people too! So, if Tera ends up in your backyard, she'll get a bonus!!!!

<check's in the mail for next month, ok?>

(sounds like doggie is a doll! It's so cool to have cuddly doggies!
Ollie and Maggie have ONE hole. We lucked out! We just leave it and they don't dig anywhere else.)

Tess...those are some great ideas also!!

Wargod

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 04:47 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
<wargod is thinking Tess's DH has a lonnnnnnnng wait!>

Kstme, thanks, you know....Christmas coming up soon and all, hehe!


Tera, is there a chance you'd be able to get to Vegas before the move? Maybe check out houses, the area around those that you like...maybe checking out places like churches or clubs that might interest you first? Maybe seeing some of that could ease a bit of your stress?

Juju2bigdog

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 07:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Hey now, Tess!! I could have (but of course didn't) cooked everything we had for supper tonight. Pork cutlets, corn on the cob, and crimini mushrooms. So there!

Tess

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:30 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Hahahhahah---key words in that second sentence are: "but of course didn't"........hahahhahahaha

Jmm

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:48 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tera - I have moved many times in my life. From Kentucky to Oklahoma and back to Kentucky as a child. From Kentucky to Texas to Oklahoma to Michigan and back here to Texas.

All I can tell you is - you will make new friends, you can always go home for a visit, there are houses in Vegas, and you will survive this.

Also, don't forget to get your medical records for your new doctor, especially if you have kids (everyone wants their shot records).

As for the move itself, all I can say is unpack your kitchen first - you can sleep on a mattress on the floor for a night or two but without your kitchen put together how will you ever find those midnight snacks you will need to survive. ;-)

Northstar

Monday, September 23, 2002 - 10:50 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Tess, I grew up in MN and always miss "up nort" this time of year. You've live there half your life? You atta have hotdish mastered by now!

Schoolmarm

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 03:18 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Been there done that...twice living by myself! Get help with the packing. See if the company will pay for the movers to pack you. They swoop in and pack your whole house in a day! But be careful, they will pack your garbage, too, if it's out!

Unpacking and deciding where things go is very difficult for me. I still have boxes I've not unpacked from my last move 4 years ago this summer. Mark the boxes with what room the thing will GO in, not where they came from. This makes the unpacking easier.

I've found it hard to move to a small town where word of mouth is the preferred form of advertising. You won't have that problem in Vegas. Get the Chamber of Commerce welcome kit and find the Welcome Wagon or Newcomers club. Lots of freebies/discounts and listing of services. I've found that it's hard to get a new hairdresser, mechanic, doctor, etc.

Each area of the country has it's unique aspects. Each town I've lived in has things that are great and things that you wonder "HUH?"

Good luck with your new adventure!

Secretsmile

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 06:57 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Tera
The one thing you have to do is give yourself a break! LOL, it's normal to have mixed feelings, to be frightened, angry, excited and challenged by such a huge life change. Don't let the feelings get the best of you, but acknowlege them, otherwise they'll sneak up on you.

Now, I've moved my family several times and it's a big job. I have found that my attitude is the single most deciding factor if it's a good time or a bad one. The last few moves I made the choice to look at it as a challenge that I could beat.

I told myself that as much as I loved our livestyle in one area, I was going to have a new livestyle and I would be more well rounded when all is said and done.

There are alot of tricks I used, I reminded myself that the world is very small, I didn't have to lose any relationship I didn't want to lose. That I would have fun adapting to the cultural differences. Who knows, maybe I'll love the climate if may fulfill parts of me I didn't know were empty. (moving to the North East made me realize that I love all the layers of cozy clothes)

I don't know if this is helpful, but I'm betting on you. I think this can be an exciting time for you as a family.

Juju2bigdog

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 11:21 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Oh yeah, another thing, Tera. If you move to a tourist place like Las Vegas (or Florida), people will come visit YOU!

Resortgirl

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 12:40 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Yeah Juju,
Even living in the frozen Tundra called Minnesota where the water temperature is 45 degrees and the nights get below 50, people come visit... hahahahaha!

See Tera, It could be much MUCH worse!!

__Tera

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 01:55 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
You guys are so great... How can I ever thank you enough? Your advise and encouragement has been so comforting. grouphug