Archive through June 26, 2002
TV ClubHouse: archives: Dan Landers:
Archive through June 26, 2002
Ketchuplover | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 04:38 pm     I am taking over for Ann Landers Keep in mind that the advice is free & worth every penny |
Goatgirl | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 05:09 pm     Dear Dan, I have never written to an advice columnist before. On a message board where I frequently lurk, I recently came across some rather bizarre messages from another board member exhibiting cannibalistic tendencies. Should I just mind my own business? Or report this person to the authorities? And if so which authorities - the Butterball emergency hotline? The Pillsbury Bake-off committee? Help! Signed, Not on the Menu |
Car54 | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 05:40 pm     This is going to be a VERY interesting thread |
Theowl | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 05:46 pm     I agree, Car. I can't wait to see what Dan has to say about cannibalism. He seems to be a very down to earth, knowledgable advisor.  |
Weinermr | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 05:53 pm     Dear Dan, Aren't you afraid of competition from Dear Crabby who I hear has been giving some snappy answers over in the Mole thread? Signed, JustCuriousmr |
Juju2bigdog | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 07:20 pm     Dear Dan, Do you think it is right to spy on animals when it is unconsitutional to spy on people without a court order? Juju2birddog |
Neko | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 07:28 pm     Dear Dan, Is it healthy to pretend to like Chess and watch it when actually, you don't watch the game at all and just shot darts at people and destroy the chess board?? MissKitty |
Soeur | Monday, June 24, 2002 - 07:45 pm     Dear Dan, Do you think wearing black ankle socks and brown leather sandals with plaid shorts constitutes a sartorial handicap? Confused Golfer |
Ketchuplover | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 02:23 pm     Goatgirl-MYOB...JUJU-It's unconstitutional to spy on people? Learn something new every day In that case yes animals should have a right to privacy...and the right to vote too ...NEKO-Chess is serious. Go stand in the corner for 24 hrs. Souer-Yes its a definite handicap,iadvise you to get a handicap parking thingamajig Thanks to all for your queries |
Urgrace | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 03:11 pm     Dear Dan: I think Ketchup is being used as a coverup. It has always been used as a condiment that was either too drippy or wouldn't even leave its bottle, but now it is being used everywhere! Not only that, but it is now being disguised in different colors and flavors. And when it is used it is sometimes squeezed together with mustard, mayo, pickles, chili, onions, lettuce, garlic and other things. Do you think the different textures, flavors, and colors are for some underlying coverup? |
Fruitbat | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 03:21 pm     Oh this is good. Pulling up a chair, Car, pass the popcorn please. Go ahead, I'm all comfy now.  |
Oregonfire | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 03:31 pm     Dear Dan: I am a famous superhero disguised as a 3rd shift convenience store clerk. I solve crimes on my state-regulated 15-minute breaks every four hours and on my half-hour lunch break. I sleep during the day to counter the grogginess, an unfortunate side effect of time travel. That, and my wardrobe keeps flashing back to 1983, which I really can't help. Lately an intriguing man with bat ears and a black cape and the COOLEST car has been coming in and giving me the eye. We struck up a conversation, and found that we have a lot in common besides confused wardrobes. The problem is this: He asked to meet me during one of my lunch breaks next week. I really like him, but am busy saving the world at that time and don't want to blow my cover. Help! What should I do? Time Warped in Tulsa |
Max | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 03:36 pm     Dear Dan. I have a problem with my friend. Whenever we go to baseball games, he insists on putting ketchup all over his hot dog. It drives me nuts! Every good American knows that the only thing you put on a hot dog is mustard (okay, maybe some relish and onions, too, but definitely NOT ketchup!). Seriously, I'm about to tell him to go sit in the bleachers where I can act like I don't know him. What should I do???
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Rabbit | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 03:56 pm     Dear Dan, Beware of "Time Warped in Tulsa". The State of Oklahoma does not require employers to give breaks or lunch periods to employees over 16, they are considered optional employee benefits. Therefore, Time Warped appears to be younger than 16. Be very cautious of how you advise this one!! |
Oregonfire | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 04:01 pm     *place names have been changed to protect the immortal and to preserve alliteration.  |
Soeur | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 04:42 pm      |
Neko | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 05:52 pm     Thank you Dan for your help. I'm just here grabbing some popcorn to hold me over in the corner for 24 hours.. Thanks again. *Goes into the corner* |
Weinermr | Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 08:57 pm     Dear Dan, Why didn't you answer my question? EvenCuriouserNowmr |
Mssilhouette | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 12:49 am     Dear Dan, What do I do about preventing the lint from gathering my belly button and aligning with the dust bunnies under the bed, there by inciting a dust/lint revolt. You have to help me! I think the cob webs are watching me and I could have sworn I saw the dust moving throug the sunbeams. Help me dan help me...The dust bunnies are rioting! Cordally, Demented in Detroit |
Ketchuplover | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 12:34 pm     Urgrace-No,however I find it disturbing. Ketchup is too good to share space with the other condiments Oregonfire-Flip a coin Max-You should worship the ground your friend walks on Weinermr-I haven't read crabby. I have no thoughts on him/her. I didn't respond because I wasn't in the mood at the time. SO THERE Msshiloutte-VACUUM Neko- after you finish your popcorn I want you to stay in the corner WITHOUT FOOD & WATER for another 24 hrs! |
Neko | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 01:14 pm     Nooooooooo!! *Stalks off to the corner again* Hello Corner...we met again. |
Ketchuplover | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 04:58 pm     ((((NEKO)))) |
Neko | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 06:12 pm     (((Ketchup..er...Dan Landers ))) |
Webkitty | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 07:03 pm     Dear Dan, Please settle a debate my friend and I have. She says Spiderman is the best and I say Batman is! She says that Batman has no "natural" superpowers....but he does just as many superhero deeds as Spiderman, AND, he has that toolbelt and stiff pointy ears (and a cool car!) and the last time I checked, he seemed to resemble George Clooney....... Looking forward to your response, Fretful Feline PS: If Time Warped in Tulsa decides to go with another superhero, do you think it would be ok to start hanging around the convenience store? |
Mssilhouette | Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 10:29 pm     Dear Dan Demented in Detroit here...I took your advice and the dust bunnies have left the building. But I have another problem. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? And does a watch pot never boil? Also, how many licks does it take to get the the center of a tootise Roll pop..along the same lines how much would can a woodchuck really chuck, if a would chuck could chuck wood? Thank you for your time...I'll rest easier once this questions are answered. Listless in Los Angeles |
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