Archive through June 29, 2002
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TV ClubHouse: archives: Dan Landers: Archive through June 29, 2002

Oregonfire

Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 10:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I think "Dear Dan" is hiding under a rock right about now. Answers! We want answers! Guide us, oh sage one.

I think we should open up the floor to have anybody offer advice. I want many funny answers!

Max

Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 10:58 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan.
I heard a rumor that Ketchuplover has purchased a PT Dream Cruiser and now must go into hiding because it is painted <gasp!> mustard yellow (they call it Inca Gold, but I know mustard when I see it).

I find this hard to believe, reasoning that Ketchuplover would most likely purchase an Inferno Red PT Cruiser or better yet wait for the 2003 model Dream Cruiser which is rumored to be a nice Tomato Red in color.

Could this rumor be true?

Mustard lovers everywhere want to know!

Riviere

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 01:42 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan Landers,
My hubby prefers mayo and I prefer ketchup, it's really causing trouble in the fridge, too! One day I noticed a mayo drip on my ketchup bottle because he's so messy. His mayo has even tainted the oleo and the peanut butter containers and I can't take it anymore. I've separated his mayo from my ketchup, but do you think there's any hope for us, since we're such opposites? P.S. We've been together 20 years..
Signed,
Married to the Slob

Misslibra

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 04:42 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan

It has gotten very hot here in Michigan, and I like to wear cool summer dresses instead of pants or shorts in the summer.
My problem is my Mother and Sister always tell me to wear a slip under my dresses, but I don't like to wear slips on hot days, and refuses to wear one. Should I give in to them and wear a slip or tell them to mind their own beeswax?

So Hot in Michigan

Ketchuplover

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 02:50 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Webkitty- Batman is cool but Spidey is the coolest. Yes to your p.s. :)

Mssilhouette-egg,no never,the world will never know,1,000,000,000 cubic ft.

Max-I wish it were true. About the red cars I mean :)

Riviere. grasshopper you have answered your own question :)

Misslibra- Wear the slip. Lose the dress :)

Webkitty

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 03:07 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I just knew Dan Landers was going to say that

Wink

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 03:10 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I think he's channeling someone

Oregonfire

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 03:19 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Spidey is a mutant freak, the result of a bizarre chemical accident. His superheroness comes from luck, not hard work.

Then we have Batman, who is only pyschologically disfigured. He's worked hard at his superhero qualities, and is sexy to boot!

So if you want to have mutant babies that eat flies, go for the Spidey. But if you want to ride around in a cool car and slide down the bat pole, then hang with Batman. (err...that part came out wrong...)

Neko

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 03:23 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Slide down the bat pole??

Oh yes...that really did come out wrong..

Webkitty

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 03:36 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Ohhhhh Oregon!
Are we going to be fighting over the same superhero???

Your alter ego is already a superhero, so I think my chances are rather slim.......except,

I'M CATWOMAN!!!! Bawwwwwhaaaaaaawaaawwwww!!!!!! MEOW!!!

Fruitbat

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 04:18 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Just reclining and taking it all in Ketch.

Mssilhouette

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 06:58 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Hey let's not forget the cool batcave and that whole leathery cape, dreamy tall dark guy who ...Oh and it doesn't hurt that he's like a billionaire! Plus he knows SUPERMAN & AQUAMAN c'mon I mean surely they'd take the ole Wife of the Batty for a nice flight or swim. Think of the benefits.

Spidey just knows those grumpy Xmen and Fantastic 4 folks...*yawn*

Webkitty

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 07:15 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan Landers,

I have a dilemma!

Every time I log onto a certain message board, I get hungry from the posters names!

Donuts and delicious chewy juju candies! Lobster and weiners and ketchup, oh my!

Also, there have been numerous references to popcorn and crab recently. AND, every time someone has a birthday I see the word CAKE all over the place!

How am I supposed to keep on my diet?

Thank you in advance,

Stymied and Salivating

Babyruth

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 07:57 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Babyruth tiptoes quietly past the hungry Webkitty.......

Webkitty

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 08:05 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Nooooo! Come back here Babyruth! YOur the yummiest of all! Stymied and Salivating wasn't functioning on all pistons I'm afraid!

Babyruth

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 08:21 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Aack!! Ummmm, you sure you're not allergic to nuts?? I bet you ARE!! Yep, better play it safe and forget ya saw me!

Donut

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 11:42 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan,
is it safe to come in here while there are hungry kitties on the loose?
also, i left biting comments all around to elicit giggles from a crazy condiment who did not seem to notice them :( Have i gained the power of invisibility and if i did what superheroes would i rank between?
Donut in a Jam in a Donut

Max

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 11:46 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Did someone say something? I could have sworn I heard a noise! Guess I was imagining it.

Mygetaway

Friday, June 28, 2002 - 12:34 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I should have read this thread sooner....:)
I can always count on you guys to make me laugh.
Thanks! I'll have to put on my thinkikng cap and see what I can come up with, although I'm sure it won't register a blip on the screen. {LOL}

Ketchuplover

Friday, June 28, 2002 - 12:47 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Webkitty. Ask your doctor if the foods you "read" here are healthy for you or not. If not then try the following mental exercise. When you see a tempting word just imagine you are seeing it being eaten by maggots :)

((((DONUT)))) I hope this makes up for my neglect :)

I wish everyone a great weekend :)

Mygetaway

Friday, June 28, 2002 - 01:02 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan,

My Sister's Husband's Brother's Girlfriend's Hairdresser told my Mother's best friend's daughter's neighbor that my Sister's best friend who is also my best friend, didn't tip him after her haircut. Now my Mother's best friend's neighbor, and my Sister's, Husband's, Brother's Girlfriend's hairdresser thinks I should say something to my Sister's and my bestfriend about it.
I myself have gotten a haircut from My Sister's Husband's Brother's Girlfriend's Hairdresser before and can see why she wouldn't tip him, but what should I say to my Sister's best friend who is also my best friend? All these people are depending on me to handle this and I don't want to hurt my Sister's, Husband's, Brother's Girlfriend's hairdresser by telling him that he is a terrible hairdresser. What should I do?

Thanks in Advance,
Someone Close to the Source

Bob2112

Friday, June 28, 2002 - 01:14 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Source,

We had this in the Riddle Me This... thread or was it Lateral Thinking?
The answer is 13
Did you just get a haircut?

Nightcrawler

Friday, June 28, 2002 - 08:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan

I'm a good chess player. or used to think I was:(

I have won lots and lots of games in the past:)
I even beat the person that should me how to play chess. so I thought I was ready to go out in the word of chess. and take on new players?
I found this wonderful!!!!! web site (maybe you have heard of it tv clubhouse?)
I found this game thread were they played chess and watched the first two games and thought I would give it a try and take on the winner?
in my first try I lost it was not a preety site:)
I'm still not over it.

but I got back on my feet and tryed again
but I think I'm now looseing to the same person again:(
do you have any advice for me
or tips on how to be a better chess player

the room we play this game in has lots of destrations like a and that run around making lots of trouble and food fights break out from time to time as well as water ballon fights too.
it's anoughf to make me

I'm not saying that all of that is why I'm getting beat. but if I loose again that what I'll say it was

singed all chessed out!!!!!!!!!

Firebird05

Saturday, June 29, 2002 - 10:22 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Dear Dan Landers,

I have had some harrowing experiences lately.

First I heard people talking about cages. Then they actully put the word cage and bird next to each other.

Second I tried to take a simple bird bath but someone had installed a flusher. But for the Grace of an angle I would have been flushed.

Third I was tricked into answering boobies by someone who doesn't even know who she is.

Yet I feel drawn to them. I can't tear myself away. I have even gone so far as to make friends with a couple of kitties and a sponge.

Is this some kind of Frenia. Do I need intervention? If I did would intervention involve padded walls, jackets that tie in the back and heavy medication?

Please send help. Firebird

Ketchuplover

Saturday, June 29, 2002 - 11:29 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Hi nightcrawler :) Do you have any chess books?

As far as the mischief goes you're screwed ...sorry.

Firebird, a beautiful bird like you should soar like the eagles:) Ask them if they've ever seen the movie THE BIRDS. tell them you're in a bird gang! that should do the trick :)