For parents of school aged kids: FYI
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The ClubHouse: Archives: For parents of school aged kids: FYI

Babyruth

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 03:02 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Nickelodeon to air gay parenting special Tonite


Despite a staggering 100,000 E-mails and phone calls in protest, Nickelodeon will telecast a special for children about same-sex parents on Tuesday night. The half-hour report, produced by Linda Ellerbee and featuring Rosie O'Donnell, includes comments from the Rev. Jerry Falwell--who later joined conservative activists in urging Nickelodeon not to air it. The Washington, D.C.-based Traditional Values Coalition has spearheaded the campaign against "Nick News Special Edition: My Family Is Different" sight unseen. There were so many E-mails, Nickelodeon had to set up a separate address to avoid a computer crash. "It is a cover for promoting homosexuality for kids," said Andrea Lafferty, the coalition's executive director.

Nickelodeon says that's not so. Ellerbee, in the show's introduction, says, "The following program is about tolerance.... It is not about sex. It does not tell you what to think." Ellerbee, who won a Peabody Award for a Nickelodeon special that delicately dissected the Monica Lewinsky scandal for children, said she conceived of this show upon reading that the word "f_g" (derogatory term for gay male) had become the most common schoolyard epithet. O'Donnell's public acknowledgement that she is a lesbian put the subject in the news, Ellerbee adds. The program, which airs at 9 p.m. Eastern time, is largely a discussion. Although it also features a gay school principal and a gay New York City firefighter who is a father of three, children are the focus. Some children with gay parents talk about feeling uncomfortable about what other kids say in school. Other children discuss their objection to homosexuality.

"It is never a wrong time to talk about hate," Ellerbee says. "It's just not. That's all our show is about. It is not in any way about the homosexual lifestyle. It's not even introducing the subject to most kids. They know. But quite frankly, many of them know it from a hate standpoint without even knowing what they're talking about." But Lafferty says, "They keep saying it is not about sexuality. It is about sexuality." Parents are upset because many thought they never had to worry about Nickelodeon's content, she adds. "They have been led to believe that Nick is a safe harbor," she says. "Now they've been exposed. The skirt has been lifted, and Nick has been exposed." Lafferty was asked by Nickelodeon if the Traditional Values Coalition would recommend children to be included in the special. She refused.

Falwell agreed to be interviewed, however, and is quoted expressing his opposition to homosexuality on Christian grounds. He also said it's important to respect other points of view and not react with violence. He said later, in an interview with the Associated Press, that he is sorry Nickelodeon feels the need to "indoctrinate" children on homosexuality. "Nickelodeon should stay away from endorsing lifestyles that are generally not accepted by the American public," Falwell said. "It turns a children's network into something parents feel a responsibility to edit and carefully filter." Asked how he reconciled his participation in the show with a call not to air it, Falwell said, "I've often said I would preach in hell if they promised to let me out." Ellerbee said she was disappointed by Falwell's later comments.

Most of Ellerbee's Nick News programs air at 8:30 p.m. This show has been pushed back a half hour--to a time when the network usually runs old sitcoms--because of its sensitivity, said Herb Scannell, Nickelodeon's chief executive. Lafferty claimed advertisers wouldn't touch the show; Scannell said the plan was always to be commercial-free. Some other Ellerbee shows, including the Clinton discussion and one about AIDS, also contained no ads. Scannell said he has no hesitation about airing the special. "I thought it was in a territory that we've been before, in terms of looking at the world from a kid's point of view," he said. "The whole philosophy of Nick is that it's tough to be a kid in an adult world."

Julieboo

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 03:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I really hate it when people make a big stink of certain programs. if you don't like the subject matter, than just don't watch it. Especially when it is something informative for kids like this. Kudos to Nick at Nite. I can't really comment more on this particular program til I see it. And how can these people complain if they haven't seen the show themselves?

Seamonkey

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 03:49 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Really. It is showing at 9pm pacific as well.

Fruitbat

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 03:52 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
This is good.

Sunshinemiss

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 03:54 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Open-mindedness and tolerance is what this great land of ours is/was/should be all about.

The "Off" button on the TV is equally accessible to all if they are offended.

Abbynormal

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 04:09 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
We watch Linda Ellerbee's show on Nick all the time. My son really likes hearing all the other kids points of view. I like that. I think it is important for him to see other view points, gives him something to think about. It's so important (IMO) to teach a child tolerance for other and all people.

Wargod

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 04:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
It's not a bad thing for kids to learn tolerance. Personally, I think that the more we teach our kids to accept people for who they are, the better it will be for them in the long run. I don't want my kids to hate and fear what is different, nor do I want them to ridicule people who have different life styles.

This issue hits a bit close to the heart for me. We have a family member who is gay, and while my kids are still young enough not to ask questions about it, I know some day they will. I'd rather be up front and honest about telling them in a way they are able to understand than have them come to a conclussion that may not be accurate.

Congratulations to Nick for not being afraid to air a program with a difficult subject matter. And as stated before me, if parents have a problem with the show, they can always turn the T.V. off.

Urgrace

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 07:27 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Good for Nick! I wish I had known about the program before and not after it aired.

Marysafan

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 07:42 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I agree. My daughter had friends who had gay parents. Those kids really have a hard time dealing with other kids, and worse other parents who should know better. There needs to be a lot more tolerance.

Babyruth

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 07:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Gracie, I'll send you my tape of it if you want, if you send it back when you're done.

Urgrace

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 09:24 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Hey Babyruth, that would be great and can do. Was it like they said it would be?

Babyruth

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 12:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Gracie,

The huge anti-gay hype was all for nothing, because the show was about respecting others who are different from you, and general kindness. This is largely in response to an increase in bullying in schools in America. Anti-gay epithets are the most widely used verbal attacks in schools these days. Some kids use these words and don't even know what they mean.

The specific group/issue discussed was kids of gay parents, but that was not the overall focus. Respecting/tolerating differences was the focus.

All the kids spoke well and seemingly freely about their thoughts and feelings. Three or four said they felt homosexuality was wrong because the bible says so, but that they don't think it's right to treat kids of gay people (or their parents) badly. One naively added that you need one of each sex because then they would parent differently from each other. Three or four kids who have gay parents spoke up about how that affects/doesn't affect their friendships and school life. They shared how it feels to have a loving family and yet be perceived as different and "wrong" because it's not "the norm". Two (unrelated, from different families) girls shared how lucky they felt to have two loving Moms. One boy pointed out that some other kids were saying "it's ok, it's not your fault your parents are gay" but that those statements implied wrongly that something was "at fault" or wrong with having gay parents! You could sense the pain in one shy young mans's eyes and voice as another kid spoke about being gay as "wrong". He answered that his Dads are pretty much the same as other peoples' Dads and kids should take time to get to know other people. There was a tough looking NYC firefighter with 3 kids who happens to be gay and he talked about his family values. There was a principal of an elementary school who disussed the values encouraged there (kindness).

Rosie O'Donnell shared that when she was a kid and her Mom died, she felt odd and different because she didn't have a Mom like other kids anymore and that made her "stand out" and feel uncomfortable among her peers. School life is hard enough without being judged for being different.

The whole show/discussion was about getting along with others who are different from you. Is it important or isn't it? It wasn't directive or pressured--kids said whatever they wanted. There was a beautiful Muslim girl who was very articulate and wise for her years who spoke of the importance of treating others with respect. She said that even though her religion opposes homosexuality, it also opposes treating each other badly and stresses that God/Allah ALONE is to be the judge of each of us. Wearing the head veil customary to her religion, she stressed the idea of getting to know someone before you judge them or decide you hate them.

Religious, ethnic and other differences were discussed too. Kids offered definitions of tolerance versus acceptance, and agreed that they could respectfully tolerate another person's beliefs without accepting and agreeing.

Some kids went a step further and talked about how they not only tolerate but really value differences because "otherwise how boring would THAT be?"

It was a good show.

What's amazing to me is that this sort of show is an example of kids who watch TV learning about positive values and morals from a source outside the home/family--the very thing that so many parents say they want--yet so many parents attacked the network hard to try to prevent the show from being shown before they even saw it! They decided that it was "pushing homosexuality at kids". How stupidly wrong they were.


Anyway, E-mail me your mailing address and I'll send it to you, Gracie. Sorry for the long winded report!

Whoami

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 12:41 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
What a great review of the show Babyruth!

I missed the first five minutes of it, cause I was on this board. I saw the initial posting on this thread, checked our local listings, and it had just started! I'm so glad I got to see most of it!

Julieboo

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 12:43 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Yes, Babyruth, that was a great review.

Abbynormal

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 12:51 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I missed it also, but SEE, that is why I love the Linda Ellerbee show. It's all about the kids. She has such a way with her that totally lets the kids get to the heart of the matter.

Julieboo

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 12:54 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I think Linda Ellerbee is great. I've liked her for a long time.

Babyruth

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 12:57 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks you guys. Glad you liked my blurb. I'm sure I missed some stuff, but that was what stuck out in my mind.

I'm going to have to watch that show more often--I forgot how great a journalist Linda Ellerbe is.

I've got nieces and nephews in whose lives I am heavily involved and I need to keep up with what a kid's world is like today.

Wargod

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 07:01 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thank you Babyruth! I had planned on recording it, but forgot to stick the tape in, lol. Anyways, sounds like the show was done in a great and sensitive way!

Urgrace

Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 03:54 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Great review! Now I am very much looking forward to the tape, Babyruth. I think young children are much more open to thinking things through before their sometimes jaded parents change their way of thinking. It's the closed minded adults I wonder about, and wish more had viewed the program.

There are no children over 2 years old in my home for now, and people like me can lose touch with children's programming. I must make a mental note to check it out more often.