Typos that tickled your funny bone
The ClubHouse: Archives: Typos that tickled your funny bone
Max | Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 01:17 am     At tonight's Christmas Eve services at my church, the program instructed the congregation to turn to their hymnals and sing "Angels We Have Hard on High." I asked the pastor if he was trying to get those folks who only show up on Christmas and Easter to be curious enough to check us out next weekend, too! Ho! Ho! HO!  |
Karuuna | Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 09:51 am     hehehe, Max -- whatever works! Three years ago we printed the words to the carols in the bulletins, so folks wouldn't have to fumble around with the hymnals. There's a line in "O Come All Ye Faithful" that goes "sing in exaltation". It was printed in the bulletins as "SIN in exaltation." Now there's a hymn I can really be joyful about!!  |
Kep421 | Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 11:53 am     Whenever I post to people I'm close to on these boards, I sometimes call them "honey"... Several times I've had to edit my post because it began... "Hi Horney!!" I think I need new glasses or libido...not sure which. |
Littlebreeze | Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 12:21 pm     Working for 10 years in the Classified Advertising Dept. of a newspaper, I saw some pretty funny typos. There are no proofreaders. The days of typesetters and proofreaders were gone decades ago. It's all computerized and you're your own proofreader. People called in their ads over the phone. You type it, you set your own ads and, when you send them from your computer, they go directly to the comp room to go to press. Here's a few that come to mind. A Real Estate ad was supposed to read "wrap-around deck". Do I have to tell you what it read in the paper?.... "Wrap-around d*ck." A General Help Wanted ad was supposed to read "Recital Photographer". Yup, it went in as "Rectal Photographer". I've got to take credit for this one. Must've had a tough night the night before. The 30 pt. bold print heading on the Help Wanted ad should have read "Public Schools". I wasn't too happy to see "Pubic Schools" blazing from the very top of the column. We all had them at one time or another. It was very fast-paced, always a line of customers on hold, cued up on the phone line, and you didn't have a whole hell of alot of time to edit and set your ads. There were some funny ones. |
Whoami | Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 11:32 pm     Kep, your fingers are probably like mine. They have a mind of thier own, and type things you never intended them to! You wouldn't believe how many times I had to backspace/edit in just this post! |
Braveheart61901 | Wednesday, December 26, 2001 - 12:59 am     As the head of the training department for a company, a couple of years ago I sent out a memo to all other department heads telling them that we had five slots available for training from 9:00 to 5:00. Only I misspelled slots...with a "u". To this day, one of the employees pulls that memo out whenever he needs a laugh! |
Kep421 | Wednesday, December 26, 2001 - 06:38 am     Poor Whoami!!! Hey, maybe there is a support group we can join??? LOL Littlebreeze & Braveheart!! |
Weinermr | Thursday, December 27, 2001 - 04:24 pm     My mother-in-law thought it would be a fun idea to give both me and my wife's brother identical video baseball games for the holidays - just little hand-held games. Keep in mind that my brother-in-law is 50 and I'm 43, and why we would want these little kiddy games I'm not sure, but that's beside the point. The games allow you to alternate between being pitcher and batter, and has a little readout that tells you for each batter whether a pitch is a ball, or a strike, or whether the batter is out, gets a hit, etc. We discovered, with glee, that when the game allowed a player to hit a home run, the following message would flash enthusiastically on the display: HOME RUM!!! We got a kick out of it! |
Max | Thursday, December 27, 2001 - 09:04 pm     So, they really ARE adult games. DRINKING games! |
Twiggyish | Friday, December 28, 2001 - 06:34 am     Our local dept store was having a Hawaiian themed sale, with free give aways and one of the managers sent out a letter giving away free lays (should have been leis) to the first 500 customers..LOL I am quite sure they were busy that day. |
Max | Friday, December 28, 2001 - 07:27 pm     Maybe he meant "Lays" as in potato chips?  |
Neko | Saturday, January 05, 2002 - 01:29 pm     LoL you guys!!! |
Whowhere | Friday, March 22, 2002 - 11:26 am     These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a little proof-reading would've prevented. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at The Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. ______________ Don't forget the National PRAYER & FASTING Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals." ______________ Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the school recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. ______________ Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. ______________ "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands." ______________ Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time. ______________ The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. ______________ The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight will be: "Searching for Jesus" ______________ Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. ______________ The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy." ______________ Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you, and hopefully they will respond. ______________ Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help. ______________ Irving Benson and Jessica Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. ______________ A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. ______________ At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. __________ The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir. __________ Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. __________ The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. __________ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. __________ Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered. __________ Attend this meeting and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a ealthy lunch. __________ The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility. __________ The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. __________ This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. __________ Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. __________ The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. __________ Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 8 PM, Please use the back door. __________ The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. __________ Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance. |
Neko | Friday, March 22, 2002 - 08:45 pm     *Hits her head on the floor after falling off of her chair* Oh my god! I can't breathe!! *Crawls off to call for help* LOL |
|