2nd baby gifts

The ClubHouse: Archives: 2nd baby gifts

Alaskagal

Monday, April 01, 2002 - 04:41 pm Click here to edit this post
I think that it is great to give baby showers for the 2nd, 3rd and so on children, but if they are having the same sex baby or don't know what they are having what do you get them?? Any ideas? PARENTS - help us out???

Twiggyish

Monday, April 01, 2002 - 06:04 pm Click here to edit this post
I think it depends on how soon since the last baby. If it has been awhile, they'll need new things.

I usually buy clothes like onesies or something practical. As a last resort, you can always ask the parents about what they need.

Julieboo

Monday, April 01, 2002 - 06:11 pm Click here to edit this post
Diapers may be boring, but oh so helpful. If we have another boy, (we are working on getting pg, but no luck do far) I would not want many more clothes as we have tons and tons of "boy" clothes. A gift card to Babies R Us. Hmmm, let me think and I will get back to ya later... (How much of an age difference are ya talking? That would make a difference!)

Alaskagal

Monday, April 01, 2002 - 06:25 pm Click here to edit this post
There will be a little over a 2 year difference. I know there are things that parents wish they would have had but when it's time to think about it again they can't remember what they were. Not a parent myself I am clueless.

Hereiam

Monday, April 01, 2002 - 08:42 pm Click here to edit this post
If they don't have one already a sling or other baby carrier (I personally liked the sling for little and backpack as they get big). It helps the parents keep up with the first one and still have a hand free!

Also, babysitting coupons to watch first born (later on coupons to watch both kids so parents can have some time out).

Videos to amuse first born or any toy/game they are content doing on their own.

MEALS --- stock their freezer and pantry with quick easy things to eat.

That is all I have so far, hope it helps. (I have two boys 3 1/2 years apart)

Llkoolaid

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 02:50 pm Click here to edit this post
I have four kids and even though I loved the nice frilly outfits that I got, they really didn't get much wear. Simple to put on, soft, and with room to grow are ideas to keep in mind when picking out clothes for a new baby.

Baby supplies like diapers, powder, lotion, baby wipes are great. Sometimes I do a diaper bag filled with little things.

The person that is hosting the shower usually is close enough to the new mom to know what her tastes are and what she may or maynot need.

Twiggyish

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 02:56 pm Click here to edit this post
Yup, that's sort of what I do, too Llkool. I love wrapping all the little things like rattles, etc.. It's fun and it makes more of a surprise to the mom.

Julieboo

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 03:18 pm Click here to edit this post
Actually a new diaper bag is a great idea. I know I'd need a new one. They get beat up fairly easily. Another idea (though this may be for a first time shower) is to get a babytub (the one I HIGHLY recommend is the Eurotub) and fill it with all sorts of bath-like presents. Baby shampoo, baby bath, washcloths, towel, bath toys, desitin, etc...

Sia

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 06:42 pm Click here to edit this post
Interesting that you bring up this subject; a distant cousin of mine (very young and still unwed) is expecting a second girl and has announced her intention--against local and family tradition--to have another baby shower. (The girl has very little income and probably does need baby items, although her first daughter isn't even one year old yet!) My 84-year-old grandmother is adamant that she will NOT attend a second baby shower; she says it is not done and that the girl should appreciate and take care of the gifts she was given for the first baby.

I do send a baby gift for a second or third (etc.) babies, but have never attended a second shower for the same mother (with a second child by the same father). What are the local traditions/taboos concerning this where you live? I'm just curious.

A few of suggestions for a second baby: a nice baby keepsake book; baby photograph album; "baby's first year" calendar; book of fairy tales; anthology of nursery rhymes; a hand-made baby quilt; a half-size diaper bag (called a "bottle-bag" for quick errands); a digital ear thermometer; "What to Expect the First Year" or other advice book.

Second and subsequent babies don't make out quite as well as the first, so it's thoughtful to buy special items for the "also-rans." (I know whereof I speak; I'm a middle child and there are fewer photos of me than there are of my older brother--and of my younger sister.)

Llkoolaid

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 07:06 pm Click here to edit this post
Where I come from it doesn't matter what baby it is. Everyone wants and needs new things for a new baby. As for the young girl having the new baby, where I come from or at least anyone I know would not have a problem with attending a shower for her. With a child under 1 and a new one on the way and very little income she is going to need all the help she can get. My heart goes out to her, my kids are 23,20,16 and 7, very spread out but at times I found it hard to cope, I can't imagine having 2 in diapers at the same time. Seems to me she could use someone to take her under their wings and get her on the right track so there is no need for a 3rd shower next year. Of course I don't know the girl so maybe advice wouldn't be taken or wanted by her. Either way it is the babies that will need the help and care so I say give her a hug and a helping hand.

When I go to a shower for a 2nd or 3rd child I always includ a small gift for the other children, nothing much but just some little thing to make them feel special too.

Sia

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 08:01 pm Click here to edit this post
It is difficult having two children in diapers at once; my children are almost exactly two years apart, and it seemed like somebody always needed changing! Breastfeeding is another challenge when you do it for a long time. I breastfed my first for ten months and the second for 15 1/2 months; I spent more than half of my marriage pregnant and/or breastfeeding until we got out of the baby-stages.

Back to the cousin who is expecting again: I've been dropping off my daughter's clothing as she outgrows it and have stopped for a couple of visits with a few toys. The situation is touchy, as the girl and her mother think they know all they need to know about child-rearing. I was concerned that the first baby had thrush last year, but was totally ignored by the child's mother and grandmother. When we get our second booster seat, I am planning to give them my daughter's toddler (front-facing standard) car seat because the one the grandmother uses is horribly inadequate and unsafe. The expectant mother has serious health problems and was advised against having children to begin with, and is now having a second child. How do you advise someone under these circumstances? I find the situation frustrating. I am, however, the only member of my family who takes any interest in these cousins; the rest of my rather big clan don't seem to remember that they exist.

Grooch

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 09:38 pm Click here to edit this post
This is from my point of view, only.

My personal belief is that you a baby shower for the first baby only.

For the first baby, most people desperately need so many things and don't even know where to start. And since it is a custom of this country, most expectant mother's "expect" one. They usually get one from their family and friends and another one from work.

I have no problem with the first one and spending money on it. The first one should be a very happy memeory for them.

But when it comes to the second child, I really see no point in it. I am not rich and I cannot afford more than a certain amount of money that people at jobs seem to think I can afford.

When it comes to people at work, they usually plan a party at a restaurent and plan many things. I am expected to chip in a certain amount of money for it. I don't mind doing it for the first child. I want the mother to have a great time. But by the second child, I would rather have the money that I am putting to the party to go to the child directly. I can only afford so much.

Does that sound cheap? Maybe. But if I am expected to put $20 to $30 towards the party then to buy a gift on top of that at an overpriced store that the mother registered at, I start to resent it. It is more than I can afford. The baby will end up with a very cheap gift. But then maybe part of it has to do with the fact that where I live there are a lot of expectant mothers, it seems where this is the norm.

I finally had to cut off the christmas giving gifts because all my money would end up giving to coworkers and I had no money left over for family, who I would really want to buy for. It starts to get insane when people start believing in the whole culture of gift giving.

At my last job, somehow I was put in charge of throwing the baby shower for a young unwed mother who really needed the help. I have no kids so what the hell do I know?

Since it was a work situation, I invited both women and men to it. Part of my devious plot was that I could ask the owners to conribute an extra $10 to it above what I was asking. I asked $10 per person and it included food and the gift.

Since I asked management to come, I got everyone an hour off of work early. I really worked hard to get good food cheap and some beer for the men to make them happy. I got it so I spent $3.00 a person on food. I worked hard on finding people who had items I could use to decorate the room, so I spent 0 dollars on decorations and the room looked great. I used a vacation day to spend getting everything ready to get the party ready and not make people come on a Saturday to work for the party. It was all ready at the end of the day.

I called the family to find out what "expensive" gift she needed so that family would not have to worry about it. I worked on getting the best price for it. I used the pooled money for it. I also had left over money to give her to use for whatever else she needed after the baby came.

I worked my butt off to get the best I could to do and save the most left over money for her.

What was I rewarded with? A fun afterwork party that everyone enjoyed. Plus I was accused of stealing money which I did not do.

My first and last time I will ever do this.

So from now on, I will give to the first party. After that, I will give to the expectant mother, directly, my own gift.

Did I mention, that I got a lot of crap because I wouldn't invite the person's family to the party for free (to let them off the hook.)

Sia

Tuesday, April 02, 2002 - 09:59 pm Click here to edit this post
Grooch, what a bad party-hostessing experience for you! You did everything right and worked so hard, too. It sounds like you put together a fabulous party; I just hope that after all that the expectant mother was appreciative of all that you did for her. What a shame that there are always people who are not happy and who try to spread their misery to everyone around them. I would be mortified at being accused of keeping part of the money for myself. Reminds me of the helpful "advice" my husband's cousins offered me after I organized HIS family's reunion for four years in a row. (I took home the leftover ketchup and mustard that I'd bought with the reunion association's funds, and some people tried to tell me how to save money the following year. I should have kept the leftovers and brought them to the next reunion!!!)

Llkoolaid

Wednesday, April 03, 2002 - 06:05 am Click here to edit this post
Wow, Grooch you sure got burned. Sometimes it seems the more you do the less thanks you get. I would feel the same way if that happened to me.

Where I come from showers are not that elaborate. They are usually held in someones home and everyone that is invited to the shower usually asks "what can I bring" so the hostess usually just provides tea or coffee because the guests usually try to outdo each other with food. I have never gone to a shower that was held in a restaurant.

I am actually having a baby shower for my friends daughter who just had a baby girl. Around here if it is a 2nd or 3rd child the shower is usually held shortly after the baby is born so everyone know what to get (boy/girl). Every single person that I called to invite offered to bring sandwiches, sweets or whatevr I needed. That is the way we do things here. When I get invited to a shower I do the same thing. Having a shower is hardly any work or expense at all because we all kind of share it. I don't mind having them at all, in fact it is a real motivation for me to get my house really spic and span. It might be this way because I live in a small town and everybody knows everyone else or at least someone you are related to. Everybody chips in because either we have had this done for us or we know that we will someday want a shower for ourselves or someone in our family.

Sia, about the cousin, sometimes you can only do so much and then you are just wasting your time. She should be thankful she has you. She sounds like my sister-in-law and her mother, but I won't even get started on that.

I guess you just have to go with the flow and if 2nd showers are not the thing in your area, just get her a gift.

Julieboo

Wednesday, April 03, 2002 - 11:02 am Click here to edit this post
Hi

If anyone wanted to do a diaper bag filled with items, take a look in the GAMES thread in GAMES:PLACES & THINGS starting at 8:22 April 3 for ideas.