Experts herald survey significance

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Ocean_Islands

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 12:43 pm Click here to edit this post
Washington experts note survey mania

By Mott A. Brasher
Staff Writer
Thursday, March 28, 2002; 12:17 PM

Across the nation, websites and erstwhile message boards have been registering oohs and aahs which, some observers have noted, appear to be those of genuine pleasure emitted by participants on message boards. The cause? The release of yet another instantaneous feedback survey.

Instantaneous feedback surveys, some may know, are surveys in which questions are answered and then the survey itself submits feedback to the participant on a real-time basis, and, some may claim, instantaneously.

The practice has been pin-pointed as the cause and origin of a newly enhanced interest in message board chatting which is now garnering participation by people from every strata of society.

Even in Washington, D.C., where conservativism of late has reigned supreme due to the recent election of a right-winger to the nation’s highest office, an ooh and an aah was recently heard coming from under the press office data entry counter. “It’s really incredible,” says Curtis Davie, 23, clerk in the press office. “I put my answers in, and it answers back. I don’t even have to think.”

Upon inquiry, the kind of feedback Curtis was obtaining through this burgeoning (but to some still suspect) practice, resulted in answers ranging from colors to images. “I learned what my porn name was,” admitted Curtis with obvious relish upon being pressed for further information. Curtis was not forthcoming on the information his participation in the survey produced.

Types of surveys vary, but according to Tammy Cruiser, 37, the best kind are those that reveal new, unforeseen information that can be transformative. “I did a survey, and it changed my life,” she said during a recent talk at a local Starbucks.

Tammy is employed as a hairdresser in the federal triangle and often has to walk to work when her car breaks down. “When things like that happen, I just say to myself, ‘You’re Pinky Chucklebiscuits, and you’re going to make it through the day!’ And with that, all my problems are gone! It’s amazing!” Upon further inquiry, Tammy admitted that this seemingly nonsensical babytalk was generated by a feedback survey.

Some observers in the Beltway have expressed concern at the apparently mindless practice which, to some, has parallels with self-pleasuring. “I can’t go through the day without someone emailing me a link to yet another survey. I’ve had it!” admitted Chuck Sparser, 45, chef at the local diner. “I’ve just got a new hard drive and it’s already getting filled up to the brim with those kind of links.”

Chuck recounted that he began to get fed up with surveys after completion of a recent survey entitled ‘What muppet are you?’. “I’ve never thought about what Muppet I am, and why should I?” exclaimed Chuck. “It’s ridiculous that I should even be thinking or wondering about what Muppet I am. I don’t think I am a muppet at all. But in any case, I completed the survey and it was determined that I am Fozzie muppet. I’ve had it. I am not completing any more surveys!” Chuck admitted that he had, in fact, completed another survey just that morning: “What kind of house are you,” though he swore it would be the last one.

Phyllis Wonderbek, a psychologist who practices in the Beltway region, claims that the overall effect is positive. “In this day and age, with terrorists blowing everybody up which way and all, you can never have enough of those good old genuine smiles that set your day right!” What is her favorite survey? ‘What font are you?’ “Whenever I’m feeling blue, I think about which font I am, and it is truly transformative. I suggest everyone try it!”

Despite such sunny outlooks, however, others are not convinced that feedback surveys have such purported value. Ranging from ‘what’s your pirate name’ to ‘find your fairy name’, surveys have a tendency to take over the activity wherever they appear, according to one anonymous observer. “It’s at the expense of the real issues. No one cares what bunny you are, or what shoe you are. I even saw a survey that asked what kind of paperclip you are! Now that is going overboard!”

Pressed further, the observer stated, “The insidious thing about surveys is that they are meaningless. They have nothing to do with the poor or the homeless, or the fact that billions of dollars are wasted in this country every day. I’d like to see this kind of survey: ‘What kind of handbasket is the country going to hell in?’”

A quick scan of popular sites reveals some which have become virtually nothing but surveys with a multitude of people exclaiming that they just found out what their porn name was, or what kind of dragon they were, as if it were the most important information about themselves that they had gotten within the past year.

One site, a seemingly ubiquitous television fan site, has become virtually clogged with such surveys, and its attendant flurry of messages left by all manner of posters exclaiming their new-found revelations, according to Sue Shears, 27, a well-known Washington web and zine commentator.

"Anything of real interest gets relegated to the fringes, by these surveys, and a once-relevant site that had a serious discussion of issues has becoming nothing but a hide-out for the Easter bunny and assorted baskety eggheads playing meaningless games and spouting chattery fluff," she commented.

In this time of terrorists, war, poverty and fear, perhaps some need to find a fluffy comfort in knowing what their 'hobbit name' is.

Observers from the fringes can only hope that some places are left untouched by this survey mania.

Oregonfire

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 12:47 pm Click here to edit this post
That's scary. Has Mott A. Brasher been lurking around this message board?

Babyruth

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 12:49 pm Click here to edit this post
Aww, that writer is just mad cuz he got a crummy porn name. Maybe limp bizkit.

Grooch

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 12:57 pm Click here to edit this post
Cute, OI.

Whoami

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 01:01 pm Click here to edit this post
These surveys are fun to take! But I guess the General Discussions board has gotten quite a few of them. Maybe we can ask the Mods to set us up a Surveys folder of it's own. Then the General Discussions board won't be "clogged up" with unimportant stuff, and we can concentrate on world issues (as put by the writer of that article!)

Whowhere

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 01:01 pm Click here to edit this post
‘What kind of handbasket is the country going to hell in?’

LOL!! OK am I the only one who thought that was funny?

At this time of year I'm thinking Easter basket, definitely an Easter basket. LOL!!

Babyruth

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 01:10 pm Click here to edit this post
I enjoyed that line too. But come on, hasn't that guy ever heard of fun or escapism?

I'm going to hell in my Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it. But an easter basket is good, too!

Wink

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 01:20 pm Click here to edit this post
Nice try OI. You almost had me. Your writing skills haven't diminished any and you brought a chuckle.123

Buttercup

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 01:53 pm Click here to edit this post
OI, are you really back to your old antics?? If you are, it was a good one!!!

"No one cares what bunny you are...." Now that was a little harsh, how do you think our Bunny and Rabbit feel about that?

With that said, I am sure there really are people out there who can't understand the enjoyment some people get out of this board. Having some fun and light hearted chat inbetween dealing with the harsh realities of life is beneficial to most people. We all need balance.

I really do feel sorry for those folks who believe we need to be serious at every minute of our lives. That, to me, isn't living...

Now if I could only stop procrastinating and get back to my books...

Buttercup

Whoami

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 02:06 pm Click here to edit this post
I agree with you Buttercup. That reminds me of one of my favorite lines that came out of my own mouth (I surprised myself!). I was acting goofy with a group of people. Someone gave me this "You're kinda scary sometimes" look, and told me I was wierd. I told her, "Of course I'm wierd, that's how I maintian my sanity." I had to go on to explain to them that, if I had to be serious all the time, it would drive me insane!

Twiggyish

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 02:55 pm Click here to edit this post
LOL! A good article.

Teatime

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 04:32 pm Click here to edit this post
Ocean: Thanks for some great entertainment. I can't stop smiling. Very clever article.

Juju2bigdog

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 07:48 pm Click here to edit this post
Dang, Wink and Buttercup BOTH beat me to it. You haven't lost your touch, OI. Hahahahahahaha!! Good one.

Observer from the fringe.

Juju2bigdog

Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 10:35 pm Click here to edit this post
Uhhhhhh, you're not gonna "find" any articles about people petting and feeding imaginary dogs, are you?

Observer from the fringe.