Typos that tickled your funny bone

The ClubHouse: Archives: Typos that tickled your funny bone

Max

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 01:17 am Click here to edit this post
At tonight's Christmas Eve services at my church, the program instructed the congregation to turn to their hymnals and sing "Angels We Have Hard on High." I asked the pastor if he was trying to get those folks who only show up on Christmas and Easter to be curious enough to check us out next weekend, too! :)

Ho! Ho! HO!

Karuuna

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 09:51 am Click here to edit this post
hehehe, Max -- whatever works! :)

Three years ago we printed the words to the carols in the bulletins, so folks wouldn't have to fumble around with the hymnals.

There's a line in "O Come All Ye Faithful" that goes "sing in exaltation". It was printed in the bulletins as "SIN in exaltation." Now there's a hymn I can really be joyful about!!

Kep421

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 11:53 am Click here to edit this post
Whenever I post to people I'm close to on these boards, I sometimes call them "honey"...

Several times I've had to edit my post because it began...

"Hi Horney!!"

I think I need new glasses or libido...not sure which.

Littlebreeze

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 12:21 pm Click here to edit this post
Working for 10 years in the Classified Advertising Dept. of a newspaper, I saw some pretty funny typos. There are no proofreaders. The days of typesetters and proofreaders were gone decades ago. It's all computerized and you're your own proofreader. People called in their ads over the phone. You type it, you set your own ads and, when you send them from your computer, they go directly to the comp room to go to press. Here's a few that come to mind.

A Real Estate ad was supposed to read "wrap-around deck". Do I have to tell you what it read in the paper?.... "Wrap-around d*ck."

A General Help Wanted ad was supposed to read "Recital Photographer". Yup, it went in as "Rectal Photographer".

I've got to take credit for this one. Must've had a tough night the night before. The 30 pt. bold print heading on the Help Wanted ad should have read "Public Schools". I wasn't too happy to see "Pubic Schools" blazing from the very top of the column.

We all had them at one time or another. It was very fast-paced, always a line of customers on hold, cued up on the phone line, and you didn't have a whole hell of alot of time to edit and set your ads. There were some funny ones.

Whoami

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 11:32 pm Click here to edit this post
Kep, your fingers are probably like mine. They have a mind of thier own, and type things you never intended them to! You wouldn't believe how many times I had to backspace/edit in just this post!

Braveheart61901

Wednesday, December 26, 2001 - 12:59 am Click here to edit this post
As the head of the training department for a company, a couple of years ago I sent out a memo to all other department heads telling them that we had five slots available for training from 9:00 to 5:00. Only I misspelled slots...with a "u".

To this day, one of the employees pulls that memo out whenever he needs a laugh!

Kep421

Wednesday, December 26, 2001 - 06:38 am Click here to edit this post
Poor Whoami!!! Hey, maybe there is a support group we can join???

LOL Littlebreeze & Braveheart!!

Weinermr

Thursday, December 27, 2001 - 04:24 pm Click here to edit this post
My mother-in-law thought it would be a fun idea to give both me and my wife's brother identical video baseball games for the holidays - just little hand-held games. Keep in mind that my brother-in-law is 50 and I'm 43, and why we would want these little kiddy games I'm not sure, but that's beside the point.

The games allow you to alternate between being pitcher and batter, and has a little readout that tells you for each batter whether a pitch is a ball, or a strike, or whether the batter is out, gets a hit, etc.

We discovered, with glee, that when the game allowed a player to hit a home run, the following message would flash enthusiastically on the display:

HOME RUM!!!


We got a kick out of it!

Max

Thursday, December 27, 2001 - 09:04 pm Click here to edit this post
So, they really ARE adult games. DRINKING games! :)

Twiggyish

Friday, December 28, 2001 - 06:34 am Click here to edit this post
Our local dept store was having a Hawaiian themed sale, with free give aways and one of the managers sent out a letter giving away free lays (should have been leis) to the first 500 customers..LOL I am quite sure they were busy that day.

Max

Friday, December 28, 2001 - 07:27 pm Click here to edit this post
Maybe he meant "Lays" as in potato chips?

Neko

Saturday, January 05, 2002 - 01:29 pm Click here to edit this post
LoL you guys!!!

Whowhere

Friday, March 22, 2002 - 11:26 am Click here to edit this post
These are actual clippings from church newspapers.
It's amazing what a little proof-reading would've prevented.


Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be
speaking tonight at The Calvary Memorial Church
in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all
the way from Africa.

______________

Don't forget the National PRAYER & FASTING
Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting
and Prayer conference includes meals."

______________

Our youth basketball team is back in action
Wednesday at 8 PM in the school recreation hall.
Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

______________

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This
Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

______________

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a
chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping
around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

______________

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at
the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns.
Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

______________

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has
been canceled due to a conflict.

______________

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the
Water." The sermon tonight will be: "Searching for Jesus"

______________

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

______________

The Rector will preach his farewell message after
which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

______________

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about
you, and hopefully they will respond.

______________

Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.

______________

Irving Benson and Jessica Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.

______________

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will follow.

______________

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen
to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to
the addition of several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.

__________

The senior choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir.

__________

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and
other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be
used to cripple children.

__________

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM.
Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread
and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

__________

For those of you who have children and don't
know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

__________

Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

__________

Attend this meeting and you will hear an
excellent speaker and heave a ealthy lunch.

__________

The church will host an evening of fine dining,
superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

__________

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing
of every kind. They may be seen in the basement
on Friday afternoon.

__________

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing
in the park across from the Church. Bring a
blanket and come prepared to sin.

__________

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

__________

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of
the congregation would lend him their electric
girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

__________

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 8 PM, Please use the back door.

__________

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
"Hamlet" in the Church basement on Friday at 7 PM.
The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

__________

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double
door at the side entrance.

Neko

Friday, March 22, 2002 - 08:45 pm Click here to edit this post
*Hits her head on the floor after falling off of her chair*
Oh my god!
I can't breathe!!
*Crawls off to call for help*
LOLCoolNeko