Let Him Stay

The ClubHouse: Archives: Let Him Stay

Babyruth

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 12:25 pm Click here to edit this post
For the first time ever, a federal appeals court is weighing the constitutionality of banning gay adoption. On behalf of three families, the ACLU is challenging a Florida law that prohibits all gay people from adopting children.

Spend some time on this web site. Get to know the Lofton-Croteau Family. Learn more about the lawsuit against Florida's ban. Find out what Rosie O'Donnell has to say about all of it. Look at the broader context of the trouble with all gay parenting restrictions. And then write directly to those responsible for Florida's law.

Let Him Stay: Website. Click Here to read and send email of support

Steve Lofton, 44, and Roger Croteau, 46, live in Portland, Oregon, with their five foster kids: Frank, 14, Tracy, 14, Bert, 10, Wayne, 8, and Ernie, 5. When they were infants, Frank, Tracy, and Bert were placed with Steve and Roger by Florida's Department of Children and Families. Wayne and Ernie were placed with the family by the state of Oregon three years ago.

Frank, Tracy, and Bert were all placed with Steve and Roger when they were infants. None of them had parents who could care for them, and they languished in hospitals—until, one by one, Steve and Roger brought them home, where they've been ever since.

At the state's request, Steve quit his job to be with the children full time and handle their complex medical needs. Frank and Tracy had been placed with Steve and Roger within a month of each other, and a baby girl named Ginger was close behind. A couple of years later, nine-week-old Bert was placed with the family.

The family lived in Miami for several years, taking full advantage of the warm weather and thriving cultural center. While the kids had some developmental delays as a result of their health, they did well in school and developed into happy, well-adjusted children. Three years ago, to be closer to Steve's elderly parents, the family moved to Portland, Oregon, and the kids stayed under the laws and supervision of Florida under a standard relocation agreement.

As they were getting settled into a new home and new schools, the kids' new pediatrician told a state caseworker what good parents Steve and Roger were and how well the kids were doing. The caseworker asked Steve and Roger to take in Wayne and Ernie, two kids with HIV from difficult backgrounds. And so the family grew by two.

The family has seen its share of tough times. Ginger, then 6, died of AIDS complications in 1995. All of the children were old enough to understand—and to be devastated.

Steve and Roger are regularly reminded that Florida's law banning gay adoption puts their family in jeopardy. Every few weeks, a letter comes from the state, giving an update on the status of finding another family to adopt Bert. Because he no longer tests positive for HIV and is under the age of 14, Bert is deemed "adoptable." Steve and Roger are legally prohibited from adopting him because of Florida's ban. So the state continues its effort to find him another home, even though this is the only family he's ever known—even though, like all five of the kids, he's already home.


No gay people in Florida can adopt children—period. Frank, Tracy, and Bert have never known any other family. They came home to Steve and Roger when they were infants. All of their memories—first days of school, 5th birthdays, first vacations to California—are with Steve and Roger and each other.

But because of Florida's ban on gay adoption, they have no guarantees. The state is now actively looking for another adoptive family for Bert—starting the process of taking him from the family he's been part of since he was nine weeks old. Meanwhile, 3,400 kids in Florida are ready to be adopted, waiting in foster care. The state's gay adoption ban helps keep them there.

It's time for this to stop. Spend some time on this web site. Get to know the Lofton-Croteau Family. Learn more about the lawsuit against Florida's ban. Find out what Rosie O'Donnell has to say about all of it. Look at the broader context of the trouble with all gay parenting restrictions. And then write directly to those responsible for Florida's law.

Tell them Bert needs to stay—and Florida's law needs to go.

Moondance

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 12:30 pm Click here to edit this post
Thanks for posting this BR! Bert does need to stay!

Whowhere

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 01:34 pm Click here to edit this post
Ditto BabyRuth - I've forwarded this to everyone I know and then some.

Willi

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 03:19 pm Click here to edit this post
Thanks Babyruth...Great link.

Having foster parented myself, I have really very strong feelings about this issue. There are so many children who need a stable & loving home. I certainly hope that people can learn to look past their own biases and do what is best for the children. How sad that many children now have to worry about leaving the only family they may have ever known.

Go Rosie!

Angelnikki

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 04:47 pm Click here to edit this post
This makes me so sad. I think children should be able to be adopted by someone who will love them and give them a good home regardless of their sexual choice. Meanwhile, thousands of children are left waiting for good homes where there are probably thousands of gay men and women waiting for children :(

Karuuna

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 05:00 pm Click here to edit this post
Angel - i'm following you around! (Just kidding) On this subject, I absolutely agree with you. :)

Angelnikki

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 05:08 pm Click here to edit this post
glad to see we agree :)

Buttercup

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 06:00 pm Click here to edit this post
Throwing in my two cents and agreeing with ya'll!

Buttercup

Twiggyish

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 06:06 pm Click here to edit this post
This is awful. He is in a loving home with good parents. It doesn't surprise me, remember Florida is the state which spawned Anita Bryant.

Grooch

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 07:08 am Click here to edit this post
Opponents launch e-mail blitz against Florida law banning adoptions by gays

By Terri Somers
Sun-Sentinel
Posted March 14 2002

In only three days, Gov. Jeb Bush and the head of the state Department of Children & Families were inundated with more than 63,000 e-mails from people opposed to a Florida law that prevents gay people from adopting, according to the ACLU.

And that is just the beginning of a massive multi-media campaign the ACLU plans to open to full-throttle today to build support for its fight to overturn Florida’s gay adoption ban.

People from all over the country sent e-mail to Florida leaders after visiting a new ACLU-sponsored Web site, www.lethimstay.com. The Web site details the case of five gay men who are challenging in federal court the state ban on gay adoption.

“The gay adoption ban has no basis in child welfare,” say the form letters e-mailed to Bush and Kathleen Kearney, the head of DCF. “In fact, as leading children's groups recently said, this law is hurting children…As evidence continues to mount that this law discriminates unfairly and fails Florida's children, I urge you to publicly voice your support for overturning or repealing it.”

Florida residents sent about 10 percent of the e-mail, according to the ACLU, which claims to have the technology on its Web site to keep a running tally of messages sent.

However, Bush’s office has logged 15,000 e-mails regarding the gay adoption issue, and only 3,000 of them are from Florida residents, said Elizabeth Hirst, a Bush spokeswoman.


When asked for Bush’s comment on the e-mail, Hirst would say only that “the state of Florida is complying with current law.”

Other attempts to change the state law have failed. Many Florida legislators and voters agree with Rep. Mike Fasano, R-New Port Richey, who has said he is “a big believer that a man and woman who are married should be the parents of children."

The ACLU wants to force Bush and other state leaders to say and do more to change the law. The e-mail from people who say they have been moved to action after reading about Florida’s law, might help the organization convince state leaders that change is the will of their constituents.

“I cannot believe that ‘supposedly smart’ people can truly believe that being gay can be a reason for children not to be in a loving relationship,” read one e-mail message a woman named Lucinda sent to the ACLU.

“Extensive background checks should be made for ANY child that is to be adopted. The fact that the person that wants to love a child is gay should not be a deciding factor.”

That is precisely the type of response the ACLU said it was seeking when it created the site to detail the plight of Steve Lofton and Roger Croteau, a gay couple who want to adopt their 10-year-old foster son, Bert, but cannot because of the law. The DCF has said it plans to remove Bert from the only home he has ever known, saying that foster placements are only temporary. Thus the Web site’s title, Let Him Stay. The couple lived in Miami when they adopted Bert, and have since moved to Oregon.

Lofton is one of five gay men who joined the ACLU last year in filing a federal lawsuit that seeks to have the Florida law ruled unconstitutional. They all are awaiting a hearing on the case before the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeal in Atlanta.

While they await action in the courts, the ACLU and other activists plan to use television, newspapers and other news media in an educational campaign to influence the public, the courts and perhaps even enough legislators to change the law.

At a news conference this morning in Miami, national and local gay rights activists are expected to demand Bush and Kearney use their powers to change state policy regarding gay people who want to be parents. The ACLU also will announce the release of a book the organization has published that outlines why the ACLU does not want gays to be prevented from adopting. The plan is to distribute the book to legislators, policymakers, community leaders and anyone else who wants it, said Eric Ferrero, one of its writers.

The release of the book, Too High a Price, coincides with a widely promoted two-hour television special, Primetime Thursday airing at 9 tonight on ABC, which focuses on foster care in America. The show highlights Florida’s gay adoption ban and how it is preventing Lofton from adopting Bert. A town-hall meeting on the issue, hosted by the head of the ACLU’s Lesbian and Gay Rights Project and followed by a viewing of the television show, is planned at the Gay & Lesbian Community Center of South Florida, in Fort Lauderdale.

In an attempt to widen the audience that will take the time to stop and at least consider the issue of gay adoption, talk show host Rosie O’Donnell shares her experience as a gay parent on the Primetime Thursday show, in the ACLU book and on the Web site.

O’Donnell might attract an audience that otherwise would not be interested in what the ACLU has to say, explained Ferrero, public education director for the ACLU’s Lesbian & Gay Rights Project.

“Twenty-five years ago, celebrity helped get support for the gay adoption ban,” said Ferrero, referring to singer/anti-gay rights activist Anita Bryant’s push to pass the law in 1977. “If the power of celebrity can now help turn that around, that’s fine.”

In her introduction to the ACLU book, and in her television interview, O’Donnell explains she’s publicly discussing her sexuality for a greater purpose.

“I don't think America knows what a gay parent looks like. I am the gay parent. America has watched me parent my children on TV for six years. They know what kind of a parent I am,” O’Donnell tells ABC’s Diane Sawyer.

“I want people to know that I'm the kind of parent that the State of Florida…thinks is unworthy and it's wrong,” said O’Donnell, who has homes in Miami Beach and New York. For 18 months, O’Donnell was a foster mother to a special-needs girl from South Florida. And she is the adoptive mother of three children from another state that allows gay people to adopt.

But it was the story of Lofton and Bert that really “stunned” her and moved her to act, O’Donnell said in the interview and her writing. She also is motivated to push for change because 3,400 foster children in Florida need adoptive parents. That pool of potential parents is unjustly limited by the gay adoption ban, she said.

State Rep. Randy Ball, R-Titusville, offered Sawyer a different perspective on the law.

“A child is greatly benefited in his social and in his emotional development if he can understand and experience the relationship of a man and a woman,” he tells Sawyer. “When a child is not exposed to that relationship,” says Ball, “it greatly stunts his development emotionally and psychologically.” Ball also says that homosexual couples “do not provide the kind of stable, wholesome environment that would justify the state having a law that allows them to adopt children.”

Producers for the television show called 24 Florida legislators before they found someone willing to go on camera to discuss the ban, a network spokesman said.

“I am glad to go on camera and to speak with the media because I feel very strongly that allowing homosexuals to adopt is a bad idea, primarily because of the evidence which conclusively shows that homosexual lifestyle is a very destructive one,” Ball told the Sun-Sentinel. He quoted several studies, including two by the Centers for Disease Control.

“I believe the law is justified on moral grounds, but not everyone shares my Christian views and they want the scientific argument,” Ball said.

In its book the ACLU also uses studies by nationally recognized researchers to support its argument that children raised by loving gay parents are no more at risk of emotional, developmental or psychological problems than children raised by loving heterosexual parents.

Those studies were cited by national child welfare and medical groups, including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Child Welfare League of America, which have weighed in recently in support of changing the Florida law.

Twiggyish

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 07:13 am Click here to edit this post
Forget it. Bush doesn't want to stir the pot. He wants to be reelected and he won't do anything against the strong Christian block in Florida. I feel so bad for this family stuck in the middle of a very political situation.

Buttercup

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 09:08 am Click here to edit this post
Grooch, thanks for posting that!

Twiggyish

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 11:03 am Click here to edit this post
Hubby and I are not going to be voting for Bush and that is for sure. I will pray for this family to stay together and YES, I am a Christian.

Mygetaway

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 11:51 am Click here to edit this post
I'm so glad to see that this sight is already up over here. Also thanks Grooch for the current update. I feel very strongly about this too, and wish I could do more. I just don't understand. I hope no-one steps forward to adopt Bert, and he can just stay where he is for the rest of his life!

Julieboo

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 12:11 pm Click here to edit this post
yes, I hope that too (that no one tries to adopt Bert) but you know some self-righteous person will probably try to.

Babyruth

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 12:31 pm Click here to edit this post
Here is a link to a huge excerpt from Rosie's Interview on Primetime tonite:
(excellent reading)

http://www.drudgereport.com/mattro.htm

Julieboo

Friday, March 15, 2002 - 08:32 am Click here to edit this post
Did anyone see Rosie last night? She is such a loving and neat person!

Teddybear

Friday, March 15, 2002 - 08:33 am Click here to edit this post
Yes Julieboo!! She was great! I think that she is great to do all this for those people.

Mygetaway

Friday, March 29, 2002 - 03:44 am Click here to edit this post
(bump)
Even though the Legislative session is over for now, I think it's important that this issue doesn't die. It needs to stay forefront, so that when they come back, it can be brought up again, and maybe eventually be overturned!