Can you fall in love on the net?
The ClubHouse: Archive: Can you fall in love on the net?
Zeb | Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 09:56 am   You know what, Flint? After the last few years, I'm starting to feel the same way. I don't know if that's good or bad. |
Laffy | Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 10:08 am   flint, as kris kristoffersen said: "freedom's just another word for nuthin left to lose" |
Juju2bigdog | Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 02:21 pm   Schoolmarm, definitely go with the avoid Booger thing.
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Flint | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 10:39 am   That is true for some Laffy. Then again, I am not a big Kristofferson fan. When it comes to most of my married friends, in some respects I guess I can say I admire what they have. They found someone who makes them happy, who they are happy with, and share their lives together. In other respects, I see how they don't do things that they enjoy doing because of their spouse. Like just getting together with the guys for a bull session. In some of those cases it isn't even that the wife doesn't want them to, they do it to themselves. Sort of self-imposed exile. Or, they only do "couples" stuff most of the time, and if you aren't part of a couple you get left out. A marriage, any relationship shouldn't be a sentence. There is no reason why a person shouldn't still hang out with friends, etc. I can understand that limits are created, but a lot of times they end up cutting their friends out. Their relationship becomes the entire world. That isn't all that healthy. One of my friends, actually two of my friends, they were both friends of mine before they married, has one of the best marriages I have seen. They both are great together, and share a lot of interests, but they also have outside interests. One doesn't begrudge the other their own time. Unfortunately not a lot of marriages work that way. Not a lot of relationships work that way. But I have digressed WAY beyond the topic of this thread...can you find love on the net? You can find anything anywhere ya want. Even mistakes. |
Max | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 01:01 pm   Stand together, but not too close together. For the pillars of the temple stand apart and the oak and the elm tree grow not in each others shadow. --Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet"
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Karuuna | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 01:14 pm   WARNING! OFF-TOPIC POST! WARNING! Personally, I find that whole joined at the hip mentality claustrophobic. I admire and respect a guy who continues having his own life, dreams, goals and friends even while being in a close, caring, committed, intimate relationship. I think the diversity brought by having some separate interests and friends keeps the relationship vital and exciting. But that's just me. Could explain why I'm still single. That and I always like the gay male characters the best on these reality shows. Yup, that could be part of the problem too. Now, back to your regularly scheduled topic. |
Tess | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 01:39 pm   First of all, Kar, I agree completely with what you said in your first paragraph and I've been married almost 9 years. What is necessary to keep such a relationship alive and on track is trust. When you are in a relationship where trust is the cornerstone of the foundation it is amazing what can be built. On to the topic at hand...can one find love on the internet? One can see only the facets of another's personality that the other chooses to reveal. I feel that to truly fall in love the two people would need to spend time together in person and learn about each other things that don't come through on the printed page. Have I formed what I consider to be very close bonds with people whom I have met online--well, yes, of course. Do I believe I know enough about anyone to say that I am in love (forget I'm married here for a second) no I don't, nor does anyone have complete knowledge of who I am, my hopes, my dreams, what is hidden in the depths of my soul. I need to look in a person's eyes, listen to them speak, see with my own eyes how they treat others. Only so much can be conveyed through the written word. I apolgize if all this sounds a bit muddled today. I am a bit muddled today--just another facet of my personality. |
Whit4you | Monday, July 09, 2001 - 11:09 pm   Blind people can fall in love - so therefore you don't have to be able to SEE the other person - deaf people can fall in love so therefor you don't have to be able to HEAR the person. When you question whether someone can fall in love on the net.... think of Helen Keller - both deaf and blind - |
Franki4069 | Friday, July 13, 2001 - 01:12 pm   Can you find love on the internet? Can you find love on the internet... Hmmm.. good question... I can only answer that from my own experience. Almost 6 years ago, I was separated from my husband..and found a friend. A few months later.. I knew I was attracted to him, so I agreed to meet him. That was November 16th 1995... I was attracted to him.. the moment I saw his picture online. I was "Loved" him after talking with him for hours and hours..and I knew I was "in love" with him.. the moment I saw his face. October 23rd, we will celebrate our second wedding anniversary... So do I believe love happens on the internet.. YES |
Grooch | Friday, July 13, 2001 - 01:27 pm   That is so sweet! Thanks for sharing that with us and I hope you have many more anniversies. |
Dilligaf | Friday, July 13, 2001 - 01:52 pm   Whit.....that was very profound. Thank you for bringing that up. As some of you know, I have been recently begun corresponding with my high school sweetheart. We have known each other for 25 years. I haven't seen him in 19.... Over the past three months, we have exchanged countless emails, talked for hours on the phone, purchased digital cameras so we can audio/video conference, and sent cards and gifts in the mail. We have not seen each other in person yet, but we have tickets for a week in Las Vegas on August 16th. Yes, my situation is a bit different because we have a "history" together, but I can tell you this.....we have RE-fallen in love online. And it is a blessing....I am truly the happiest woman in the entire world. Thanks for listening and keep us in your prayers. |
Twiggyish | Saturday, July 14, 2001 - 08:19 pm   Good luck Dilli, that sounds so romantic! |
Dilligaf | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 07:58 am   Thanks Twiggy! I'm so happy!! tehehehehehehe.... |
Fruitbat | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 08:20 am   Oh, Dilli, I had completely forgotton you were going to be back in touch with an old boyfriend. This is cool, very neat! Since you have a history with this man that will shorten the courtship time. I better go rejoin the gym to get into that dress. Can we wear strappy high heeled shoes? Closed toe. Has to be a winter wedding with the velvet dresses. |
Dilligaf | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 10:22 am   MsBat.......you are correct. It will have to be a winter wedding with black velvet, I would suspect Jan or Feb at this point. LOL.....if only he could read this stuff, he'd be peeing his pants!! And you are also right about how our history has shortened the courtship. I haven't seen him in 19 years, but we are truly falling in love all over again (via phone and computer). The only thing that is missing is "seeing him" and "touching him". And Whit made such a good point about blind people falling in love. I am blessed that I have my eyesight and I truly see a loving, understanding, compassionate man and father. All of the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place in August when we go to Vegas. Like I said, keep us in your prayers and I will continue to update you as things progress. Kisses Dilli  |
Egbok | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 03:05 pm   Dilli, I will keep you and your high school sweetheart in my thoughts and prayers as you reunite and rekindle your lost moments in time. As a huge fan of romanticism (is that a word?!!) - I am glad that you shared your special plans to meet him in L.V. with us here on the board. I look forward to your updates. What an absolute thrill for both of you!! On a personal note, my heart is happy for you!!
Egbok |
Wink | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 04:21 pm   Dilli   |
Dilligaf | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 04:46 pm   Hi Winkie! I'm so glad you're back! I've missed seeing you in chat..... |
Whit4you | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 09:26 pm   My gawd Franki - I can't believe it's been that long! Seems like just a few years ago to me when you two met!! It's easy enough to understand why you two are still together though - keeping him tied to the bed like you do LOL |
Wapland | Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 09:39 pm   Well back on topic...can you find love on the net...most definately. As many of you know I am a newlywed...married one year April 29th. My hubby and I met over a chat line 6 years ago. Many people have a difficult time understanding our immediate attraction for one another without the physical prescence. We talked for hours and hours. I found myself sharing things with him that I had never shared with anyone before. In the beginning it felt safe to. I knew I was in love with this human being long before I laid eyes on him(which was about 3 weeks)! The night before we met, feeling nervous, I told him he could be short, fat, bald and covered with scabs from head to toe and it wouldn't matter. Good thing I did because I saw my gorgeous 5'5", stocky, balding hubby for the first time covered in chicken pox from head to toe. He says he wanted to keep me guessing. It was love at first sight! I feel fortunate to be sharing my life with my chatline love. We have been blessed by this 21st century technology. Hope it works for others.
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Tess | Monday, July 16, 2001 - 12:22 am   Well, Wappy!! Now that does explain a lot. Congratulations to you. I too have shared things online that I haven't with any other person. I'm not sure why. You start to write and the thoughts just keep spilling out one over another. I agree with Whit in part, in that a person doesn't have to be able to see or hear to learn what's in the heart of another. For myself, however, I still would like to look deep into the other person's eyes and hear the sound of his laughter. That would be very important to me as I do possess my eyesight and hearing. That actually holds true for me whether talking about love or friendship. I've met several people online whom I count among my friends and I would like to see all of them and hear their laughter. |
Grod | Monday, July 16, 2001 - 05:59 am   i don't know if i would risk a relationship on the net. i remember reading an article about some guy that recruited women over the net with sweet stuff, then he turned out to be a serial killer. i forget his name. But i would be very leary. |
Laffy | Monday, July 16, 2001 - 09:03 am   WOW wap!, except for the chicken pox, and your hubby being an inch taller than me, your story sounds similar to mine. oh yeah, mine didn't end up with a happy marriage either. but i fell in love, and the net allowed me to open up to another person much more easily than i can IRL. by the time we met in person i was deeply in love and committed to her, as soon as i held her hand i remember thinking "i don't ever want to let go of this hand" it is amazing how close people can become without meeting. it sets the table for achieving an amazing level of intimacy when together. if you haven't heard it, listen to "i knew i loved you before i met you" by savage garden. it'll bring a tear to your eye it's so beautiful. GROD, i heard that story too, but remember that serial killers are meeting people in real life too. anyone should be cautious when meeting someone new anywhere. |
Wapland | Monday, July 16, 2001 - 06:41 pm   Thanks Laffy I will listen to it. I am amazed at how much my life and love feels like many of the songs I used to just listen to. With love in your heart everything seems so different. My blessings are ten fold. For me, meeting anyone new for the first time, regardless of circumstances requires me to be capable and responsible. Even feeling the way I did about my hubby before we met, when that day came, I approached it with these same life learned and experienced skills. I was in love...I wasn't stupid! With that all was well. |
Snee | Saturday, August 04, 2001 - 06:04 pm   the one thing i would say about finding love on the net is that you just can't tell about the 'spark'. i chatted with someone. emailed. talked on the phone. we fell for each other and he transferred to a different office so he could be in a city near me in order for us to spend time together. we discovered that we didn't have a 'spark' up-close-and-personal and were both disappointed. we still loved each other, but were more like best friends/siblings. i think it's wonderful when the spark transfers over to up-close-and-personal but it doesn't always. good luck sparkers! |
Whit4you | Tuesday, September 11, 2001 - 01:41 am   I still say Lance luvs me.. he's just not willing to admit it publicially but that's OKAYYYYYYYY - as long as I know it and he knows it .. that's all that really matters |
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