Lets talk

The ClubHouse: Archive: Lets talk
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Archive through November 18, 2001 25   11/20 03:02pm

Twiggyish

Sunday, November 18, 2001 - 03:43 pm Click here to edit this post
Egbok, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Magikearth

Sunday, November 18, 2001 - 08:38 pm Click here to edit this post
(((((((((Dear Kep))))))),
These hugs just keep on coming!:)
It always makes me feel sad whenever I hear of someone losing a parent.Like you,I am also very close to my Mom. We share a very special bond.
You seem to be a very kind and loving soul and the both of you are so blessed to have had each other to love. She is going to live on within your husband and grandkids.And You!
I hope it comforts you to know that you made her life very happy. Hold on to that thought.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Magikearth

Sunday, November 18, 2001 - 08:47 pm Click here to edit this post
Egbok,I will keep you in my prayers.I also believe that your cousin heard you:)

Egbok

Monday, November 19, 2001 - 05:47 pm Click here to edit this post
She did Magikearth.....and to all my TVCH family, thank you for the kind words and hugs. I'll be leaving Tuesday morning for the 8 hour drive into San Francisco. Her services are being held Wednesday morning.

Lancecrossfire

Monday, November 19, 2001 - 06:12 pm Click here to edit this post
Egbok and Kep--so sorry to hear of your losses. Cutiepie, sorry to hear of your loss too. No matter the situation, it's never an easy road to go down. Expected or unexpected, a loved one is never easy to say good bye to in person or though thoughts.

Best of luck to all of you in making through all of this.

Kitty

Monday, November 19, 2001 - 09:28 pm Click here to edit this post
Kep...I sincerely hope that you can take comfort in all the kind words from your friends in this thread. Everyone's experience is a little bit different from the others. My father passed away suddenly during the summer and then my mother died of a broken heart on Sept. 11. It has been the most difficult time of my life.... just reading everyone's posts in this thread has been a comfort to me....Take comfort in the fact that you have this time with your mother-in-law ... I'm sure that she's aware that you are there and glad for it. Surround yourself with family and friends and don't hesitate to cry whenever you need to.

Moondance

Monday, November 19, 2001 - 09:30 pm Click here to edit this post
My thought and Prayers are with you {{{Kitty}}}

Car54

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 - 03:53 am Click here to edit this post
Egbok, I am so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts are with you and your family in this sad time.

Alib

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 - 07:34 am Click here to edit this post
Even though there is 7 years between my brother and me we were very close. My parents separated when I was 7 years old. After that my Mom often worked at 3 different jobs to keep us together. As a result my brother babysat me and my younger sister evenings, weekends and summers. He taught me the love of reading and how to play chess, card games and scrabble. He turned me on to music, especially jazz and took me to my first "live concert" in 1967 when I was 16. In the summer of 1993, at 49 years of age, he died of a massive heart attack alone in his apartment and wasn't found for several days. To spare my mother the horror I identified his body. It took me quite a while to recover and still 8 years later I feel the loss. I went to post traumatic stress counselling for a few years. Since my brother's birthday was on Christmas day we take the opportunity to remember him and to celebrate his short life.

I agree with Moon, grief has no schedule and there are no rules. I found that tears cleansed and hugs really helped. My sister distanced herself from family and friends but I chose to surround myself with loved ones. So whatever works for you works! In the end I believe that time is the best healer.

Wink

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 - 03:02 pm Click here to edit this post
{{{Kitty}}} {{{Alib}}} There are no words.

Kep421

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 05:17 am Click here to edit this post
Well, she's gone. We lost Mama last night. She died just hours away from her 96th birthday. I never felt this much sadness before in my life. My husband is holding up well and surprisingly, so am I.

She was on life support at the end, but we were reluctant to remove her from the machine because my one sister in law wasn't ready to let go. But yesterday, when we visited her, I could see she was at peace. It was the strangest feeling, like I knew just by looking at her that she didn't feel pain and that she wasn't really there in the room.

Everyone in the family had been advised to come and say goodbye as the doctors did not know how long the life support would continue to support her. We have a very large family (Mama had 13 children) and there were many goodbyes to be made. The grief counselor arranged for a lady with a harp to be in the room softly playing Mama's favorite hymns while our goodbyes were made.

I know this sounds hokey, but it was very beautiful and comforting. It took away the starkness of the hospital and everything seemed very dignified and respectful. You could hear this soft gentle music playing throughout the caridac intensive care unit and the nurses were just wonderful. They commented that they noticed a reduction in stress among other patients (and themselves too) in the unit.

The nurses did away with the rules and allowed as many family members as possible to visit Mama as could fit comfortably in the small room. It was almost like church and it sure did help a lot of us, especially my sister in law who was having such a hard time. She finally agreed to have the machines removed and Mama died 40 miniutes later. I never knew something so sad could be so beautiful...

Tksoard

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 05:31 am Click here to edit this post
Oh Kep!! That is the most beautiful idea I've ever heard of to say good-bye!!! The harp has such a soothing sound and I'm sure she was at peace with it. I'm so sorry for your loss!! I'm sure that was the best way for all, especially the sister-in=law. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!

Wink

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 05:42 am Click here to edit this post
"In the arms of the angels...." {{{Kep}}}

Weinermr

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 06:29 am Click here to edit this post
{{{{{{{{Kep}}}}}}}}
Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Grooch

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 06:32 am Click here to edit this post
{{{Kep}}}

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounded like a beautiful goodbye. And I'm glad you guys all got to be there with her.

Moondance

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 06:39 am Click here to edit this post
{{{Kep}}}

Lighting a candle today for you!

Babyruth

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 07:47 am Click here to edit this post
((((((Kep))))))Thanks for sharing this with us.
I'm glad that your Mama's experience was so peaceful and that the family could all be with her. The harp idea sounds wonderful.

Lancecrossfire

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 08:58 am Click here to edit this post
Kep, so very sorry about your loss. It is wonderful that such a sad moment can be made a bit better for all concerned. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Sunshinemiss

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 09:20 am Click here to edit this post
Oh Kep ((((Kep)))) What a thoughtful way to ease the passing of a very loved and cherished Mama. Bless you and your family, and I will say a prayer for you all tonight.

Magikearth

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 09:29 am Click here to edit this post
(((((Dear Kep))))),
It sounds as though your Mother was in Heaven throughout her entire life,because you and the rest of the family made her time here on earth so wonderful.

Max

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 09:39 am Click here to edit this post
Kep,
The harp is a wonderful thing. More and more hospices are using that kind of service. Very comforting and not in the least hokey.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Car54

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 10:00 am Click here to edit this post
Kep, I am so sorry for your family. It sounds like your mama had a wonderful life.
I was with my mom when she passed away after a long, painful illness, and I had the same experience that last day- I knew she was ready,
and at the end, she just let go- it was very peaceful.
You seem to be doing well under the circumstances-I am glad your family had the time to have a beautiful goodbye.

Twiggyish

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 10:45 am Click here to edit this post
I send my condolences and thoughts, too. It is hard to lose a loved one.

Willi

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 11:12 am Click here to edit this post
Kep,

Please accept my heart-felt condolences.

(((Kep & family)))

Kstme

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 - 12:43 pm Click here to edit this post
Hugs, thoughts and prayers to you, Kep...

Egbok...I am so sorry for your loss also! (((hugs)))

Gosh...so much has happened in the month I've been away...

Tess

Thursday, December 06, 2001 - 12:56 am Click here to edit this post
Kep, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother in law. She was so blessed to have you for a daughter in law even while you were blessed to have her all these years. What beautiful memories you will have to warm your heart as the pain begins to subside over time. You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight as well. Take care.