Venting - Limericks, poems, haikus, song parodies etc. to VENT by...
The ClubHouse: Archive: Venting - Limericks, poems, haikus, song parodies etc. to VENT by...
Weinermr | Thursday, October 11, 2001 - 09:02 am   I hate that Osama bin Laden, Who's been very evil and rotten, He's used planes just like bombs, Killed kids, dads, and moms, His presence I wouldn't be caught in. |
Babyruth | Thursday, October 11, 2001 - 09:43 am   Great idea! Here's my quickie: sung to "Ben", by Michael Jackson Bin, the USA will win this war We will find who we are looking for With no home to call your own You'll always be alone And you, you jerk will see The world's your enemy (The world's your enemy) Bin, you're always running here and there You know you're not wanted anywhere You will always look behind And not like what you find There's something you should know It's Hell where you will go (It's Hell where you will go) You used to say "follow me" Now it's "run", now it's "flee" You've made the world your enemy You won't win, just wait and see. Bin, all countries will turn you away If they don't, there will be hell to pay, We will crush the Taliban who stole Afganistan I'm sure they'd think again Before letting you lead them. |
Twiggyish | Thursday, October 11, 2001 - 11:10 am   Babyruth, that is GREAT! |
Weinermr | Thursday, October 11, 2001 - 04:04 pm   Babyruth, that's the spirit! Let's get those feelings out everyone. I know that I need to! |
Weinermr | Friday, October 12, 2001 - 05:25 pm   <weinermr wonders where everyone else vent> |
Babyruth | Friday, October 12, 2001 - 06:33 pm   THE CANDY MAN Sammy Davis Jr. (Leslie Bricusse / Anthony Newley) - from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" The Taliban: Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with death? Cover it with sickness and a psychopath or two The Taliban, oh the Taliban can The Taliban can 'cause they mix it full of hate and make the world taste bad Who can take a nation, starve it half to death? Add some mass oppression and then suck away their breath The Taliban, the Taliban can The Taliban can 'cause they mix it full of hate and make the world taste bad The Taliban hates every woman's face, she will never have salvation, Now you talk about a child's starvation, and the lack of education Oh, who can take tomorrow, steal away a dream Multiply the sorrow and cause the world to scream The Taliban, oh the Taliban can The Taliban can 'cause they mixe it full of hate and make the world taste bad The Taliban removes any part that moves, so many hands and feet collected, Bleed to death -- you disrepected! They've got their rationale perfected. Yeah, yeah, yeah Who can take a mother, and shoot her in the street She dared to open up her mouth and actually speak The Taliban, the Taliban can The Taliban can 'cause they mix it full of hate and make the world taste bad. The Taliban can 'cause they mix it full of hate and make the world taste bad. |
Littlebreeze | Saturday, October 13, 2001 - 07:15 am   Osama bin Laden, your time is short, Here's your choice, war or court. Why are you hiding if it's in God's name? You're a punk and a loser, a pathetic shame. I have a question of your theory and laws, Why do YOU never die for the cause? Is it because you're a coward counting on others? Well, here, in America, we stand by our brothers. Sorry to tell you, you failed in your mission, If you expected pure chaos, just keep on wishin'. Americans are focused and stronger than ever, Your end has become our next endeavor. What you tried to kill doesn't live in our walls, It's not in buildings or shopping malls. If all of our structures came crashing down, It would still be here, safe and sound. September 11th left a scar and a void, But our pride and our courage cannot be destroyed. We'll bury our dead and may God bless their souls, They band us together with strength in our goals. Now all of our energy we'll focus on you, You'll feel the wrath of the red, white and blue. So slither and hide like a snake in the grass, Because America's coming to kick your ass!!! |
Franny | Saturday, October 13, 2001 - 07:30 am   these are great you guys..Bravo, Bravo |
Babyruth | Sunday, October 14, 2001 - 08:01 pm   OLD MAN, as sung by Dubya [Neil Young] Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, Fifty five and I act like you Policies on the Middle East That make me think of you. Lives lost, such a cost, Bomb and leave them in the dust. Americans, we feel so just! I'm killing just like you. Old man take a look at my life I'm a lot like you I need someone to prompt me the whole day through Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true. Oil wells, terrorist cells, Run around the same old town. Yes it means that much to me To be that much like you. With our arrogance Look at how their hatred grows. If only we had changed our stance Back when it was you. Old man take a look at my life I'm a lot like you I need someone to prompt me the whole day through Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. |
Magikearth | Tuesday, October 16, 2001 - 10:00 am   This was borrowed from a company that makes anti-bin ladin clothes,mugs and toilet paper(!) Yo Bin Ladin We Bin Loadin' ! |
Highlander | Wednesday, October 17, 2001 - 07:51 am   Afghan TV Guide > > > > MONDAYS: > > 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" > > 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" > > 9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions" > > 9:30 - "3rd Rock From the Sand" > > 10:00 - "Allah McBeal" > > > > TUESDAYS: > > 8:00 - "Wheel of Terror" > > 8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right" > > 9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things" > > 9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers" > > 10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Slayer" > > > > WEDNESDAYS: > > 8:00 - "Who Wants to be a Koran Perverter" > > 8:30 - "When the Northern Alliance Attacks" > > 9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread" > > 9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone" > > 10:00 - "Veilwatch" > > > > THURSDAYS: > > 8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi" > > 8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H" > > 9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and > Veils" > > 9:30 - "Sand Trek" > > 10:00 - "Moammar & Mindy" > > > > FRIDAYS: > > 8:00 - "Judge Laden" > > 8:30 - "My Two Baghdads" > > 9:00 - "Survivor...I hope" > > 9:30 - "Achmed's Creek" > > 10:00 - "No-witness News" > > > > SATURDAYS: > > > > 8:00 - "Let's Mecca Deal" > > 8:30 - "Taliban Squares" > > 9:00 - "This Old Tent" > > 9:30 - "No Sex in the City" > > 10:00 - "Mullah's Place" > > > > SUNDAYS: > > > > 8:00 - "Who's Goat Is it Anyway?" > > 8:30 - "The Bedouin Bunch" > > 9:00 - "My Three Huns" > > 9:30 - "The Sultan of Queens" > > 10:00 - "I Dream of Jihad > |
Norsksky | Wednesday, October 17, 2001 - 12:50 pm   I heard this on the radio, so I am not sure who wrote it but here goes.... Air Force Come and De Flatten Your Home Tune: The Banana Boat Song - Day O Eh - O Eh eh eh eh - O Air Force come and de flatten your home Run Mr. Taliban we know where your hidin Air Force come and de flatten your home Eh - USA - USA - USA - O Uncle Sam come and he flatten your home 60 ft. 70 ft. 80 ft. crater Air Force come and de flatten your home OL’ Uncle Sam, yes, he ain’t no Quaker Air Force come and de flatten your home When we finish you all be cryin Air Force come and de flatten your home Pilot, his brother a New York fireman Air Force come and de flatten your home |
Weinermr | Wednesday, October 17, 2001 - 12:51 pm   Highlander - I love it! When do we get the TV Guide? |
Chippy | Friday, October 19, 2001 - 10:57 am   Subject: Poem to Osama > > Osama Bin Laden, your time is short; > We'd rather you die, than come to court. > Why are you hiding if it was in God's name? > Your just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame. > > I have a question, about your theory and laws; > "How come you never die for the cause?" > Is it because you're a coward who counts on others? > Well here in America, we stand by our brothers. > > As is usual, you failed in your mission; > If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishin' > Americans are now focused and stronger than ever; > Your death has become our next endeavor. > > What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls; > It's not in buildings or shopping malls. > If all of our structures came crashing down; > It would still be there, safe and sound. > > Because pride and courage can't be destroyed; > Even if the towers leave a deep void. > We'll band together and fill the holes > We'll bury our dead and bless their souls. > > But then our energy will focus on you; > And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue. > So slither and hide like a snake in the grass; > Because America's coming to kick your ass!!! |
Littlebreeze | Thursday, October 25, 2001 - 02:10 pm   Dear Mr. bin Laden, We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing by them for the first time. While we will admit that you got off to an impressive start, it is now our turn at the plate. Since this game is winner-take-all, we will be unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration, but rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY. By the way, we will be playing on your court now, so.... batter up! Sincerely, The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America |
Honey51 | Friday, October 26, 2001 - 05:05 am   This was posted on a radio DJ web site. Mr. Laden, Perhaps you are too young or simply too ignorant to recall an incident in American history. This event took place on December 7th 1941. America was minding it's own business (much as it was on September 11th 2001), when Pearl Harbor came under an unprovoked attack by the Japanese military. There are many similarities and I could go on and on but I'm sure it's above any intelligence you may possess. One big difference is the fact Japan had some guts and attacked a military installation with it's own military. You sir attacked innocent civilians. But then again, how could America expect anything less of a coward such as you? One important thing to remember Mr. Laden, when America's military was nearly crippled it came back to defeat Nazi Germany and Japan. One Japanese leader had a prophetic comment after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. That comment was, "I fear we have awakened a sleeping giant." This could not have been truer as history speaks for itself. America overcame adversity and the evil that threatened the free world. America continues to protect and defend freedom around the world. You maybe wondering what will happen to you and any country that attempts to hide and protect you. Simply consult Japan. They can fill you in on what happens to a country that attacks America. Cower, tremble and hide Mr. Laden. America is coming for you and hell is coming with her. May God have mercy on your soul for America shall not. Sincerely, Uncle Sam |
Littlebreeze | Friday, October 26, 2001 - 05:32 am   Don't know if this will work. Never tried to post an address for a pic before. Also don't know if it's just me or if this is just too funny. http://64.29.16.175/bladin/army.htm |
Pcakes2 | Friday, October 26, 2001 - 06:08 am   WOMAN Power! Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally. Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble. We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose. We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all! We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem. Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare. Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help! Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain. |
Honey51 | Friday, October 26, 2001 - 09:57 am   We shouldn't kill bin Laden, it will just make a martyr of him. We shouldn't jail him, it will just cost us money. We should capture him, send him to Sweeden, perfrom a sex change on him and then send HER back to the Taliban. |
Kep421 | Sunday, December 02, 2001 - 03:57 pm   I got this in an email, and just had to share. It goes to the tune of "Twas the night before...." 'Twas the night before payback and all through the land, They're running like rabbits in Afghanistan. Osama's been praying, he's down on his knees, He's hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas. He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and shatter, But all that he's done is just make us madder. We ain't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut, And we'll kick your butt with one heavy boot. And yes, we remember the USS Cole, And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole. You think you can rule us and cause us to fear, You'll soon get the answer--if you live to hear. And we ain't forgotten your buddy, Saddam, And he ain't forgotten the sound of our bomb. You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide, They'll go down in history as the place where you died. Remember Khadafi and his Line of Death? He came very close to his final breath. So come out and prove it, that you are a man, Cause OUR boys are coming...and they have a plan. They are fathers and they are our sons And they sure do carry some mighty big guns. They would have stayed home with children and wives Till you bastards came here and took all these lives. Osama, I wrote this especially for you, For air mail delivery by B-52. You soon will be hearing a thud and a whistle, Old Glory is coming....attached to a missile. I will not be sorry to see your butt go..... It's Red, White, and Blue....that is running THIS show! |
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