The Funniest Times in Your Life!

The ClubHouse: General Archives: June - July Archives: The Funniest Times in Your Life!
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Archive through June 12, 2001 25   06/12 12:35am

Willi

Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 06:41 am Click here to edit this post
Ok...Here's one.

My daughter has a time in class everyday (called "News") to share things with her class/teachers. She is six.

Well, a few days ago, my daughter asked me, "When are you getting married again?" (I've been married once...same man...her dad...14 years)

I say, "I'm married to your dad...What are you talking about?"

(Well, many questions later I find out that she's talking about hearing us talk about re-newing our vows.)

So...She says, "I told my class at News that my mom is getting married again & I'm going to be the flower girl." She left out the part that the groom is her DAD.

I asked her what her teachers said (they know us both well) and my daughter said, "Well, Mrs. $%^& got REAL quiet."

This wouldn't be quite as bad if earlier in the year, my daughter wouldn't of shared in class that "we're getting a new child." (We were considering foster parenting again)...So, I had so many moms calling congratulating me on my pregnancy. No calls to congratulate me on my "quiet divorce & re-marriage" plans yet.

She has been banned from sharing any more news.

Grooch

Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 06:46 am Click here to edit this post
Lol!

Debi4514

Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 07:53 am Click here to edit this post
this is one of those stories that when I tell it, I laugh so hard while telling it that it seams even funnier.A few months ago, I was running around doing a bunch of errands including droping off my film for developing, estimates on some jewelry repair, lunch, and so on.It was a beautiful, sunny day, and I left my sun glasses on all day because I thought they were very "hip" and looked good on me. I stood in the long line to get my pictures back, and took my glasses off to take a look at the pictures, and as I set them down, to my horror, there was one lense missing and I was walking around like that all day!! Now I know what you are thinking, but you really can't tell that it is missing when they are on your face, when the lense is small, for some reason. Try it! So anyway, I said to the guy behind the counter, "were my glasses like this earlier today?" and he said "yes". I said "why didn't you tell me" He said "I figured you knew" So needless to say, I was really not feelin so "hip" as I left, but a lot of people must have goten a big laugh that day!

Twiggyish

Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 08:01 am Click here to edit this post
That is funny Willi!

I am always in a hurry, so this one shows when I am NOT paying attention.

A friend of ours was getting married and was having a couples wedding shower. (Where both men and women are invited)
I volunteered to bring the cake. As usual, I was in a hurry and ran into our local bakery. There was an older guy behind the counter. I asked him about the various sizes on the cakes and he showed me with his hands the approx. sizes. When I asked him about a sheet cake, he showed me about 18 inches by about 9 inches. So, not really thinking about it, I ordered a sheet cake with white icing and yellow flowers, etc.. Since there would be about 25 to 30 people there.
About a week later, I went to pick up the cake. I about died when the clerk took a cart into the walk-in freezer. She wheels out this HUGE, monster cake!!
I am thinking this is for the wrong couple, but when I read the top, it was right.
The cake had to be at least 6 inches tall and about 3 feet long!! The manager came out, because I was protesting and reduced the price to that of a quarter sheet (which is what I should have ordered had the original clerk given me the right information)
Anyway, you should have seen their faces when I (with help) carried in that cake. There wasn't room on the dining room table, so they pulled out a card table. Needless to say, it was the talk of the party..LOL

Twiggyish

Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 08:02 am Click here to edit this post
Debi, that sounds like something I would do.. I wear my sunglasses everywhere, too.

Willi

Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 08:41 am Click here to edit this post
LOL
Debi & Twiggy!

Admin

Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 01:14 pm Click here to edit this post
Last night: I just spent about 3 grueling hours painting my spiked, stucco living room ceiling. I mean, the stucco was applied in 197? and some of the spikes are over an inch long!

I have this roller that looks more like a chunk of wood...it's so thick, it holds about half a can of paint. So after 3 hours painting this ceiling (I'm only done about half of it) my arms couldn't take the weight of this roller anymore so I called it quits. My feet were sore, my legs were sore (from climbing the ladder) and I brushed my teeth and went to bed. The bed felt like a cloud. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! I started laughing. I don't know why...but I couldn't stop! enbwife was yelling at me to be quiet because the neighbours would hear, but I couldn't stop! Then for a minute I think I was actually crying...I'm not sure. All I know is it was SOOOO soft and felt so good...

Ahh..nothing like a good laugh sometimes!

Tksoard

Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 01:33 pm Click here to edit this post
That's really great, Neil, but what was so funny?

!!!

Danzdol

Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 02:08 pm Click here to edit this post
Here goes one of my funniest/embarrassing stories:

Everyone that knows me knows that I am a die hard Ricky Martin fan since I was 12 years old......When I joined my gym 4 years ago he was working out there.:) To make a loooooong story shorter; after an entire week going to the gym and seeing him there almost everyday doing free weights etc.........I decide to take a Saturday class step class. (At this point I had never spoken to him to respect his privacy-I am not the crazy fan type -I hate those people)

I woke up late from a nap and had my hair a mess, I wore this old t-shirt and shorts and I headed for the gym.Note: I never dress like that, I have very nice gym attire but I was in a bum mood.

I rush in and I hear a voice behind me that says:"Do you know at what time this class starts?" I turn around and see him sitting against a mirror on the floor with his hands crossed in front of him.
Inside I said" Oh Sh**" Outside I cooly answered"4:30, it starts right now I am late"
I turned around to take my step and I wanted to run away. Out all the days he could have spoken to me he does it this day that I looked sooooo bad.Anyways........It gets worse.....


I turn around again and he is holding the doors for me. I thank him, smile, walk in and place my step down. He follows me and does the same. By now I am cursing at myself thinking"Great, now not only do I look like crap but I have to take a sweaty class next to him as well"

As class goes on I was acting like Aerobic Queen, going higher than anyone, more synchronized than anyone blah blah blah......THEN;
On one of those "hop steps" my foot twisted and I landed right on my behind!!!!!on the floor!next to Ricky Martin's step!!!!!!

He stopped and looked at me like "poor girl"

I of course got up immidietaly smiled and kept on going. How I finished that class I will never know.

I only saw him twice more that month and he never came back...I was so distraught.

I ran home and told my "now husband-then boyfriend"the story and he said"That's what you get for trying to show off in front of Ricky Martin....."All I wanted to do was disappear..........:(

Jetticat

Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 02:53 pm Click here to edit this post
I would have faked a sprain or something, maybe he would have picked you up and even sweated on you! :)

Jetticat

Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 03:05 pm Click here to edit this post
O.K., here's a story for you. It was the day that I took my cap and gown pictures. I wasn't really feeling well, and wouldn't have been at school if it weren't for the pictures.
We were given the assignment of writing up a sale of an item that we use everyday for our marketing class. What an easy assignment for me! At the time, I was a little on the fru fru side, so I did mine on my hair dryer.
By the time I got to my marketing class on the day we were to read our reports, I was REALLY not feeling well. I just wanted to get up and do mine and lay my head on my desk.
It was finally my turn and I get up and talk about the different heat settings and strengths of air flowing through my hairdryer. Then the unimaginable happened! I was overcome by the pain that I was having in my belly and just wanted to sit down, so I began reading a little faster. Instead of saying "blowdryer",,,,well, I said the worst possible thing to say, in a class while you're sitting next to Todd (a boy I knew), that begins with blow and has nothing to do with employment.
I was so embarrassed! At the same time, I had to laugh at myself. I also got an "A" on the assignment!

Danzdol

Friday, June 22, 2001 - 06:40 am Click here to edit this post
SO JEtti I guess "your mind was in the gutter"


HEE HEE!


:)

Wcv63

Saturday, June 23, 2001 - 04:19 pm Click here to edit this post
I once got “stuck” in my spare for 4 hours. I had decided to move a sofa into the spare room and THOUGHT it would be a fairly simple job with just a little sweat equity. I pushed, I pulled, and turned it sideways. I climbed across that sofa from one end to the other looking for the best way to get it into the spare room. I finally decided that if I stood it on end I should be able to fit it through the doorway.

The sofa had become wedged tightly in the doorway leaving me stranded in the spare room. I did several running, flying, body-flinging maneuvers, all to no avail. I sat on the floor. I laughed. I cried. I cursed. I lay on the floor and pushed against the bottom of the sofa with legs.

I decided to look for alternate routes of escape. The window was painted shut and I really didn’t want to break the glass. That was it for escape routes. After 4 hours of increasing desperation I was finally able to free myself from the sofa hostage situation.

Moral of story: Big sofas don’t fit through small doorways

Jetticat

Saturday, June 23, 2001 - 05:23 pm Click here to edit this post
LOL! That sounds like one of those things that I'd do!

Tess

Saturday, June 23, 2001 - 10:30 pm Click here to edit this post
I saw something just like that on Rescue 911 a few years back, WCV. Hilarious!

Wcv63

Saturday, June 23, 2001 - 11:11 pm Click here to edit this post
You mean I'm not the only one who tried to fit a square peg in a round hole? I was about 22 or 23 at the time (you know...around the time where you still feel like you know everything).

My friends took to singing that song..."If it don't fit...don't force it, just relax and let it go; just cuz that's how you want it doesn't mean it will be so.." as a goodnatured taunt for quite some time after the event.

Tess

Sunday, June 24, 2001 - 01:43 am Click here to edit this post
Nope, Wcv, there are at least two of you I'm afraid. LOL