Archive through May 10, 2001
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Archive through May 10, 2001
Lancecrossfire | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 05:11 pm  Hey everyone! I thought Gail asked an excellent truth question to Norwican. She asked: "What is the most unselfish (or kindest) thing you have ever done for someone and what is the nicest thing anyone has done for you?" I think this was a great question! There are some pretty great people on this board. I bet there are a lot of amazing things that TVCH folks have done to help others, and some that we have been fortunate to receive from someone else. If you are willing to talk about your experiences here in this thread that provide an answer to Gail's question, I think we have the makings of a fantastic collection of acts of kindness--that we've done, and had done for us. Even if you've posted it somewhere else, please copy it or re-tell it here. On those days you might be feeling a bit down, you can come back and get a dose of some of the good things that have happened in real lives of those you interact with here. |
Nagster | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 08:08 pm  Probably the most unselfish thing I did for someone took place almost five years ago. I was offered a promotion at my place of employment, but knew that another woman, one who really needed the extra income and was just as well-qualified as I was. So I turned down the promotion with the proviso that it go to this particular gal, which id did. Many, many years ago -- over 42 to be more exact -- I found myself deserted by my husband in a city that was strange to me. Two little girls were dependent upon me, and to make matter worse, I was seven months pregnant. My relationship with my parents was strained, to say the least, and I did not know quite what to do. I contacted my sister, who lived clear across the country from where I was stranded and she paid for our airplane tickets and shipping costs so we could stay with her pending the arrival of the new baby. To me, she and her husband were the kindest, most helpful people in the entire world! |
Norwican | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 07:12 am  Good idea Lance... that was a good question that Gail posed  |
Whit4you | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 01:30 am  I love random acts of kindness stories - They often bring tears to my eyes. I will relate one that I did in the past. Years ago I was doing pretty well finanically but most of my girlfriends had babies and small children and were not, video cameras were new and very expensive then and none of them could afford to buy one. So I bought one just so that could lend it out to all my friends (I didn't tell them this but that was the point) So every week or two I'd lend it to one of my friends for a week or two. Sometimes for a month. I'd try and arrange it so that various friends would have it for their lil one's birthday and special events. Didn't mean that much to any one of them at the time. But those video's now 15 years later are of course priceless. It wasn't a benevolent act - for me at the time the $$ wasn't that big a deal. But the fact I thought of it and took the time to do it - I think is something to be proud of. Your turn! |
Karuuna | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 09:05 am  Okay, I'll play. A few years ago I met a woman in an online discussion group who has an autistic son. Around December we played "what do you want for YOURSELF for Christmas?" The rest of us took that yourself part seriously, and posted our responses. She sent in a post about how it's virtually impossible for autistic children to learn language because they can't tune out the variations in spoken words. You can say the same word a hundred times and think you're saying it exactly the same way, but you're not. But there were new computer programs available that could teach autistics to speak, since computers do say words the same way every time. Unfortunately her old IBM clone wasn't capable of running them. So she said the one thing she would really like was a new computer, since they couldn't afford to buy one because of all the medical bills they had accumulated for their son. I sent her a private Email, asking for her address so I could send her a Christmas card. And two days before Christmas the UPS guy delivered a new computer. Within weeks of having that new computer, her 6 year old son spoke his first sentence. Previous to that, he'd only been able to get out a word or two. Years later, she still sends me photos and progress reports, and that withdrawn child has learned not only to communicate but has shown an uncanny aptitude for taking apart and repairing computers. He still has many ongoing problems, but that computer has made a big difference for all of them. Every time I get a note from her, I still cry. She thinks she has reason to be grateful to me. But really I'm the one who feels very blessed and deeply grateful, that she gave me the opportunity to help in a meaningful way. |
Grooch | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 09:18 am  All of the above three stories are beautiful stories. |
Kiari | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 09:40 am  Wow Karuuna That is Great!! |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 10:53 am  Indeed all 3 of these are great to hear! I hope others will add to this thread. I'm sure there are lots of nice things you folks have done, or someone did to help you out. |
Zeb | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 01:45 pm  Rewarding Effort People rise to our level of expectations. They try to give what is rewarded in return. Thomas J. Watson, Sr., the founder of IBM, was famous for carrying a checkbook as he walked through the offices and plants of IBM. Whenever he saw somebody doing an exceptional job, he wrote out a check to that person on the spot. It may have been for $5, $10, or $25. The amounts were small, but the impact of his action was tremendous! In many cases, people never cashed the checks. They framed them and put them on their walls. They found their reward not in the money, but in the personal recognition of their production. That's what gives significance and leads a person to give his/her personal best. |
Zeb | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 02:04 pm  The Little Red Hen: Millennium Edition" Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?" "Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose. "Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did. The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen. "Not I," said the duck. "That's out of my job classification," said the pig. "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow. "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose. "Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did. At last, it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen. "That would be overtime for me," said the cow. "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck. "If I'm to be the only helper then that would be descrimination," said the goose. "I don't have time," said the pig. "Then I will," said the little red hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see. They all wanted some. In fact, they demanded a share! But the little red hen said, "No, I will eat the five loaves by myself since I did all the work." "Excess profits," said the cow. "Capitalist leech!" cried the duck. "I demand equal rights!" shouted the goose. The pig just grunted. Then the others hurriedly painted picket signs and marched around, shouting obscenities. The government agent came and said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy." "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen. "Exactly," said the government agent. "That is the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he or she wants. But, under government regulations, the productive workers must divide their product with the idle." They all lived happily ever after, but the little red hen's neighbors wondered why she never again baked bread. (We must never be like the government agent. We must give positive acknowledgement and encouragement to the producers and we must be careful not to reward the idle.) |
Moondance | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 02:23 pm  Kar that was a wonderful Heart gift you gave! I cut 10 inches off my hair last month and sent it to Locks of Love so they can make wigs for cancer children. Miss my hair but I am sure it is in much better use. |
Nancy | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 02:59 pm  hey moon--there was just an article in my local paper about a 6 year old here and her 20 something babysitter who both just had 10+ inches cut off to donate to locks of love..i think thats wonderful ;-) |
Moondance | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 03:05 pm  Thats great Nancy! I had VERY long hair and my manager/agent thought it was time for a change so I bucked up and cut it... it made me feel better to be able to do this... it is still to my shoulders but it is the shortest it has been in forever! All you have to do is go to the website... print out the app and send in a ponytailed 10 inches |
Karuuna | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 03:25 pm  Moon, that was so sweet of you! And having had longish hair most of my life, I know how hard that is too! Here's a hug for you! |
Willi | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 03:28 pm  For all of you wonderful & caring people!
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Gail | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 05:13 pm  I have a story similar in a way to Karuuna's. About 5 years ago I met a nice lady, Joan, online through my best online friend, Chris. Chris hooked her up with me to have me give her advice on her new cairn terrier puppy who was making her crazy. I helped Joan make it through that first year with her puppy and we became pretty good friends. Joan was able to get online by using an very old Mac. (you AOL'ers might remember this) About 3 - 4 years ago, made some major changes and if you were on an old computer, you were left in the dust. Joan was no longer able to go to the AOL message boards - she had never been able to go to the internet. She had a lot of friends on 2 different message boards and could no longer participate. (would be like losing this board for some of us I imagine). Joan was pretty much working on a fixed income and buying a new or used computer was not going to be in her future anytime soon. In my work as a lan administrator, I fix computers for some of my customers. Sometimes, they give me the skeletons of their old systems. I usually don't say anything nice about Packard Bells but I will make an exception here. I had just upgraded my computer (used the old stuff to make a system for my mom) and someone at work got jealous and upgraded his computer. He gave me the case, motherboard, power supply and processor to have for my collection. I did a lot of scrounging and got a modem, floppy drive, hard drive, cd, etc and rebuilt this computer. I kind of felt like I needed a new monitor so bought one so I could give Joan mine. I could not make it a total surprise. I needed Joan's AOL password so I could set up her AOL for her. Plus, I needed her mailing address. Plus, I needed to work it so it would arrive on her day off. (knowing how fragile monitors are, I paid the pack and ship place to pack the monitor - and insured it. It broke in shipment so Joan got a brand new monitor too) It made me feel so good to hear how happy she was to see everything in color and to be able to go to her message boards again. It was really funny when I told her to put a music CD in her computer and it started playing music for her. She was so tickled! That old Packard Bell lasted quite a long time. It just died about 4 months ago and someone she works with gave her an old Pentium to replace it with. This was an instance were I feel like I was able to make a positive difference in someone else's life. I still keep in touch with Joan, though not as much as I used to. I still hope that someday I will make it out to California to meet her in person. Her puppy? He grew into a well behaved little dog. |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 10:52 pm  Moon, that was great of you to do! Gail, what a nice thing to do for a friend. Any more? Remember to include something that you've accepted from someone else that has meant something very special. That something could be time, words, an item--anything. Anything else any of you have done that touched someone in a special way? |
Maire | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 11:00 pm  The last couple of days I had the opportunity to help another gal in my computer class who has almost no experience and was very stressed and anxious about completing our assignments, as she didn't know much of anything about what the subject was, or how to use the computer to do the assignment. The process of going slow with her and taking it step by step until she understood and was comfortable with what she was doing was so amazing. It has really boosted my self assurance, and has cemented in me that what I most desire to do career-wise, is to be a computer tutor. Needless to say, she is extrememly grateful for my help. <Flying high on cloud nine> |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 11:03 pm  Excellent to hear Maire--for both of you!!! Cloud 9 is a very nice place to be! |
Tess | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 11:28 pm  My story has a little different twist. When I moved to Minnesota from California I met a family at church who took me in as one of their own. I was part of their family celebrations for every holiday and for the "nothing special" times as well. There was a mom and dad (same age as my much older half sister) and 6 kids ranging in age from 1 - 13 (same age as my niece). Fast forward to 1985 when I had serious emergency surgery and was very ill for 3 months. My friend brought me dinner every night. They didn't have much money but whatever they had for dinner she made extra and brought it over to me. That was the only food I ate for the first several weeks. She took me to my doctor appts. came to see me every day when I was in the hospital, managed my finances so my bills were paid and took me out for a drive to see the fall leaves. My friend introduced me to my husband knowing we were perfect for each other. She was right, 3 months after our first date we were married. We will be eternally grateful. My friend has never had much to spare financially but shares whatever she has. She rarely gets new things for herself and learned to "make do" at a very early age. A few years ago my husband noticed that our friend's stove was no longer safe so he bought her a new one, installed new gas lines and hooked everything up for her. That first night with her shiny new stove she cooked him a big spaghetti dinner. It was fabulous! As the years pass by and my husband does very well at his job our friend still doesn't have much to spare. This Christmas her husband (who stood in for my dad and gave me away at my wedding) had emergency heart surgery and couldn't work for several weeks. My husband paid for their groceries, paid some of their bills and gave them gift cards to local stores and phone cards for long distance so they could have a nice Christmas. What I am trying to say is that I have been so blessed in my life to know two of the most loving and giving people. If I live to be a hundred, I'll still be trying to give back to my friend for all she's done for me and my family just by being a friend. We've gone to h@ll and back together and will be friends always. My husband says we'll never be rich because there are so many better ways to use his money, so many people to help. I think I'm already one of the richest persons on earth. I would also like to say that this thread ( and others) confirm what I always thought about the people on this board....you're all a cut above --wonderful, wonderful people and I'm proud to be a part of you all. |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 11:39 pm  Tess, that is a fantastic thing to have happen--in both directions! Nothing quite like a friendship!! Giving for the pure idea of giving something of value. Or getting something of value because someone really does want to provide it! The examples above show what it really does mean and how it can affect someone's life--be it ours or theirs. I agree Tess--this is indeed quite a group of people we have here. |
Tess | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 11:57 pm   |
Wink | Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 05:47 am  Ten days after the birth of my third child I suffered life threatening complications and had to undergo major emergency surgery. At the time I had a 5yr. old and a 3yr. old at home as well as the new baby. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks after the surgery and confined to bed rest for the 6 weeks following my release from the hospital. With some help from my mom during my hospitalization and following my release, completely on his own, my husband spent the next 6 weeks nursing me, chasing two very active pre-schoolers, and caring for our newborn. The only fortunate thing about this incident was the timing. It happened during the summer months when my husband, thanks to the teaching profession, was able to be home with me. It was not the fact that he did these things that was amazing to me, but the way he did them, with unconditional love for me and a truly wonderful, joyful love for his children. I give thanks to this day for the life I have been privileged to share with this gentle, loving and genuinely kind human being. |
Willi | Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 07:48 am  It makes me feel so happy that so many of you have wonderful people to share your lives with.
Something that profoundly helped me recently was, strangely enough, a TV show. It was an episode of the West Wing. If you watch it, you may remember. If not, briefly, it was an episode to deal with a characters PTSD (Post-traumatic-stress-disorder). This character had been suffering with symptoms of PTSD after having a "brush with death." The details aren't important. The show was amazing & cathartic to me. Especially the end. The end consisted of a story that the characters boss/co-worker/friend told him after Josh (PTSD sufferer) thanked him for getting him the help he needed. He was amazed that this boss/coworker/friend "knew" that he needed help when he, himself, did not. The story goes...One day a man fell into a deep hole. He couldn't climb out. A priest walked by and said, "Bless you my child." A rabbi strolled past and prayed with him for awhile. A friend walked by. Stopped. Jumped in the hole with his friend. The friend who had been stuck all this time said, "Why did you do that?" "Now we're both stuck." The friend who jumped in replied, "I've been here before. I know the way out. Come on." |
Gail | Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 09:31 am  Willi, that was nice! Thanks! |
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