Archive through June 12, 2001
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Archive through June 12, 2001
Digilady | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 11:01 am  Oh lawdie, I could write a book. I'll share one of my all-time favorites (and pay for it the rest of my life on TVCH, no doubt!) Back in 80-something, I was living in Paris. Flew back to the States for Xmas, and met the "Love of my Life". Long story short: I brought him back to Paris with me, to move my stuff back to the US. The FLIGHT to Paris with Geddes (his name) qualifies as both funniest and most embarassing. LONG flight, 747. Mostly empty. We had those seats across the middle to ourselves. No, not what you think!! Lemme finish already. Geddes, a good ole boy from Nashville, had never been to Europe, never been on a plane that size, hadn't done a lot of flying. Bet you can't guess what he wanted to try, eh! The Mile High Club. I wasn't a member in good standing either (forgive the puns), so we decided to give it a go. We figure this is a good time as the stews are preparing dinner and not really concentrating on the passengers. We all know how large and spacious those bathrooms are... NOT. So, without getting to gritty, he stands in front of john, and I crouch on top of. Things are bouncing right along, stifled laughter, and occasional "oooOOOH!" when suddenly... We hit turbulence. BIG time. All this happened so fast... Geddes' butt hits the door handle and somehow knocked the lock sideways. Instinctively I locked my legs around his waist and was grabbing everything in sight. One of MY feet slammed on the door handle.. and out we went. Smack into the aisle. Right in front of the kitchen and a bunch of stews preparing dinner... Time came to a halt. None of us moved for a split second, then I was off him, back in the john with the door shut and locked. Then I hear this banging and a plaintive voice... "My pants! Cat open the door pleaaaase" All hell broke loose. I heard dinner trays hit the ground, howls of laughter from the stews... Believe you me, we stayed in that john another 20 minutes. Even then I made him leave first. I finally SHOT out of there, back to our seat and hid under a blanket where I remained the rest of the trip! |
Norwican | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 12:01 pm  ROFLMAO Digi! |
Juju2bigdog | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 12:28 pm  You really earned your wings on that one, Digi. |
Norwican | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 12:32 pm  When I was in labor... I kissed the anesthesiologist dead on the lips after he gave me an epidural. I just grabbed him as he came around my bed and planted one on him without even thinking about it. Then he calmly turned around and started walking out of the room with his assistant. From the safety of the hallway he yelled back to me "you're welcome" and told my husband that he could come back in. |
Nancy091158 | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 04:16 pm  Lol digi and nor--i don't think anything can top those.... ;-) I think prob the funniest for me..(tho not funny at the time) was when i was baking cookies for a work xmas party---and whoever had last used the shortening left a paper towel in it..(my mom i think)..and I ...being a dunce..didnt see it..measure out the shortening...didnt "SEE" the paper towel...mixed the COOKIES up...(no i didnt bake them LOL...i realized what i had done before then...but i was a little upset...my brother is laughing at me..(the same one who got the cork mustaches)...i'm upset.."ITS NOTTTT FUNNY"...well it was but...not at the time LOL |
Soeur | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 06:34 pm  Digi & Nor those are both very visual stories. One of my funniest is of when my oldest was a baby. We kept him in a bassinet by the side of the bed. One night the fire alarm went off in our apartment building and I woke up and went straight for the baby -- the bassinet was empty! In a panic I honestly remember thinking about the Lindbergh baby as I wailed out to my sleepy husband "the baby's gone!". That poor man actually levitated off the bed (I think his head even hit the ceiling) as he flew to the rescue. Only then did I see the little swaddled bundle that was nestled in the middle of our mattress. I had been so tired that after nursing I had drifted off and neglected to return him to his cradle. We were both up for the rest of the night... |
Lalavoom | Wednesday, February 21, 2001 - 12:52 am  This happened when I was a kid. It was during a big barbecue my parents had one summer. It was dark outside and all of the adults were inside the house. The kids were in the back yard taking turns on the "devil's swing". It was a big, thick rope with a knot and a loop at the end it. It was tied to a tree and swung over a 15 foot drop. Each of the kids took turns on the swing, while the rest of us flashed our flashlights on the person swinging. Most of us sat on the knot and swung back and forth over the 15 foot drop. However, one of the girls decided to put her feet into the loop and swing back and forth standing up. Unfortunately, when she went to get off the swing she lost her footing. Before she had a chance to grab hold of the rope with her hands, she swung back out with one foot still in the loop. She ended up swinging back and forth while hanging upside down by her foot. As she swung back and forth, yelling for help, there was nothing any of us could do because we couldn't quite reach her and we were immobilized by laughter. Eventually, she stopped swinging and just hung there.To make matters worse, one of the kids kept the flashlight on her as she helplessly hung there,upside down, yelling for help. She looked like a chicken on the end of a rope hanging there like that. Finally, one of the kids went to get an adult, but it was too late. Her foot came loose and she fell. In horror, we frantically flashed our lights down to the bushes below to see if she was okay. After a few breathless moments, the bushes started moving and a hand emerged. Thankfully, she was okay and managed to climb her way back up. Of course, once we all realized she was okay we couldn't hold our laughter any longer. She was not impressed. |
Twiggyish | Wednesday, February 21, 2001 - 06:48 am  If a funny story doesn't have to be something we have done..I have one about my in-laws. My in-laws are rather stiff, formal people. (picture American Gothic). Anyway, my father-in-law is a small scrawny man and my mother-in-law is tall and bony. One day, my mil (mother-in-law) bought an electric blanket with dual controls. That night, my mil turned her blanket off, as she was burning up. At the same time, my fil turned his on full heat because he was freezing.. Both of them were very uncomfortable as their blanket controls weren't working. This went on about 3 nights and they were in misery. Finally my mil was making the bed and realized, they had their controls mixed up. So, while she was turning her side off, he was turning it on full blast. My husband and I were laughing with tears rolling down our cheeks at this picture. |
Noslonna | Wednesday, February 21, 2001 - 01:03 pm  Soeur, your story reminds me of one time when I fell asleep while nursing one of my babies. While I was sleeping the baby managed to slide further down the bed and latched on to the closest skin she could reach. I laughed the next morning when I found a huge hickey on my tummy.  |
Noslonna | Wednesday, February 21, 2001 - 01:34 pm  Lala has reminded me of another falling asleep story that made me laugh. When Lala was in college, her and a friend came home for a few days. Her friend had a retainer that she had to wear at night. For some reason she was always misplacing it and I was always helping her look for it. One night the girls went out partying and came home late with a pizza. They sat in bed giggling and eating pizza 'til they finally fell asleep. The next day we were once again searching for the retainer. She was sure she had put it on when they had come home but they had searched the bedroom. I finally found it. In the bed, stuck in a half eaten slice of pizza. |
Norwican | Thursday, February 22, 2001 - 07:43 am  I love this thread and all the stories... thanks for starting it Digi  |
Norwican | Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 08:14 am  O.K. here's another one. A girlfriend and I went "out on the town" one evening... I drove. We were going to meet up with some people at a new club opening. It was really crowded so I had to drive down an unfamiliar street to find a place to park. I found a space a couple blocks away in a residential neighborhood. I parked the car and out of the corner of my eye... I saw my friend open the passenger door and disappear. I called out her name and no answer. I got out of the car and ran around to the other side. There was my friend hip deep in a hole looking dazed and confused. Being the great friend that I am <ahem> I immediately burst out laughing hysterically... I was laughing so hard that I could offer no help. Some family either saw what happened or heard my laughter and ran out of their house to help my friend out of the hole. They were all giving me the "evil eye" which of course made me laugh even more. My girlfriend was covered with dirt and had a scraped, bleeding chin... but I knew she was O.K. because she was calling me every profane word that she could think of at the top of her lungs. Later on that evening (yes, we went into the club - my friend is a real trooper)... it was so crowded and my friend had to use the rest room - urgently. There was a long line to get into the ladies room... so she went into the men's room. A guy that was right outside of the men's room door made a comment about a woman being in the men's room. I proceeded to tell him and his friends that it was O.K. because my friend had not her final operation yet and therefore was technically still a man (how I got through that one with a straight face I don't know). Anyway, my friend found out what I had said and yes, she is still my friend... probably my best friend. (BTW, she's no angel herself... so don't feel too sorry for her). |
Mishamisha | Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 08:26 am  I once fell into a hole in the street. It was Tijuana, Mexico, spring 1992, on a day trip from SD. How did I completely fail to see this gaping hole? Was I drunk? No. Was it dark out? No, broad daylight. So what could possibly be so distracting that I didn't notice where I was going? I was staring at this line of street walkers, standing in a row in their matching Suzie Wong dresses and unbelieveably shiny run-proof nylons. It was mesmerizing. Painful, but memorable. Oh, and for those of you who like those pretty glass bead anklets, I've got some scars to show you. Apparently that's what happens when they make contact with cement and then grind into your ankle. This doesn't exactly fit into the "funniest" time of my life, but I couldn't resist. |
Digilady | Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 08:28 am  BWHAHAhahahah! Nor, you're alright, you. Had the same thing happen with a friend: she opened the door and vanished. I was every bit as helpful as you! Now the one with the sex change, that was on the spot genius. ROFLMAO! MISH!! Only you... LOL Gawwd got ya fer that one. Ouch on the ankles tho. |
Digilady | Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 08:38 am  OK, Paris again. I'm living with this gorgeous Aussi and my parents come to visit. The apartment is not big: one bedroom at end of a short hall. A bathroom next to it, and then the living room. Next to which the kitchen. My boyfriend and I go shopping. We come back, the place is black. Obviously my parents have also gone out. We've bought so much stuff we lay all the bags in front of the couch, sit down, and just pant for a moment or two. Then we hear footsteps. Here comes my mom, crossing from the bathroom - walking across the living room into the kitchen. Bare-@ssed naked, with a piece of dental floss in one hand. Half way across, she senses eyes... and for one split second, no one moved. Then she made a leap which Barishnikov would have envied and gained the kitchen. We still call her "The Streak". |
Norwican | Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 01:19 pm  Misha ... you painted quite a picture with your story... sorry, had to chuckle. Digi... priceless.  |
Digilady | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 09:40 am  Here's a recent one I forgot to post. Last week!!! Here I am, taking my best friend to the Dr. He has a swollen lymph gland, they've done biopsies, and we're there to get the result. I'm scared as shit, and he's trying to act cool. As usual, we're stuck in the usual little room with the bed and two chairs. And a what-you-callit on the wall, the deal they use to look in your ears. This one is electric: Lynn says "Cool! Look at the nipple. Haha. You pull it off the wall and it lights up." Well, that did it. I stood, pulled the thing off the wall and sure enough, it lights up. I clap it over one breast and am doing my best Madonna immo when... In walks the damn doctor. I hear him futzing around with the chart on the door, and I'm desperately trying to hang the piece of shit back up. Mind you, we'd been in there 20 seconds! NO doctor ever enters that damn fast. I couldn't get the thing back in its cradle, so I dumped it on the bed deal and shot back to my chair just as the Dr. opens the door. He looks in, says "Oooops I'm here too soon" and splits. Thought I was gonna croak! PS: biopsy was clean!!!!  |
Norwican | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 01:33 pm  ROFLMAO Digi... I can absolutely see you in that exam room! ... and glad your friend got good news. My Dad is in the hospital and is kind of out of it (to say the least). Last week during a visit he told me that he is the Offensive Coordinator for the Green Bay Packers (he is a retired accountant). This week he told one of his nurse's that I was his girlfriend (my brother commented that if Dad was to have a girlfriend he certainly would have a better looking one than me - ugh brothers!). BTW he and Mom have been married (I thought happily LOL) for over 50 years. We're all waiting to see what he comes up with next and hoping that he gets well enough to laugh with us about his rantings! |
Nancy091158 | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 01:43 pm  Lol..I remember my dad saying some weird things when he was sick..One of them being that the local newscaster where in our backyard having a Tag sale(or yard sale as we call them here). |
Whit4you | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 05:30 pm  Well one of the funniest things in my life was the day I discovered my son has the same inability to stop giggling until the other person, as I do. I've always been that way once I start giggling even the hint of the other person giggling wlll make me start again. Apparently I'd never had the giggles with someone else with this same inability to stop. One day my son (he was about 5 at the time) and I started giggling, the more he'd giggle the more I would and visa versa. This went ON and ON and my stomach started hurting (they do after a while when your giggling) anyhow my son's started hurting as well. I kept telling him (as I kept giggling) to STOP giggling, but my giggles caused him to and visa versa. He couldn't stop - neither coold I. I called a friend trying to get some help or suggestion - and because I could NOT stop giggling she would NOT take me serious. It's hard I guess to take someone serious when they can not stop laughing. But she didn't seem to believe I could not stop laughing. It was overall REALLY funny - but - it was also a bit scary - my son did NOT understand what was going on and why I was laughing my head off at him - and "making" him keep laughing - even though his stomach was hurting. Anyhow eventually - I separated us into completely opposite sides of the house, even then I "knew" he was laughing so it took me a while to stop. Over the years after that - anytime we'd get the gigles I'd leave the house when my tummy started hurting to avoid that endless circle again. I'm 37 now and still have never met anyone else who just "can't stop giggling" but until you've ever been around someone else with the same condition - you'll never realy know (since they always stop first I guess) I've always loved getting the giggles - but gawd help me if I'm ever on a plane with someone else like my son (who can't stop either) we'd have to make them make an emergency landing eventually LOL |
Lobster | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 05:46 pm  Oh my gawd, Whit! I couldn't stop giggling while reading your story. I have the same problem. I can't stop giggling either if the other person won't stop. Luckily for me, the other person usually does stop first. |
Tksoard | Wednesday, May 09, 2001 - 07:24 pm  I wish I could giggle with someone like that. I get on a roll sometimes by myself and I can't stop. Like when we first dug out our pond, it was a large one, and we stocked it with fish. I have a thing with my family (all out of state and know I name ALL my animals) that I take pictures and send them out. I went to the pond to take A picture of the fish, but every 10 seconds, there were more and more fish at the top of the water. I ended up taking 12 pictures of little fish in the water. On top of that, I did double prints. I sent them to my sister in Mich. and she called me, laughing the whole time. I went hysterical, and didn't stop for an hour. All I had to think was "I did Double prints"!!! |
Nancy | Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 09:41 am  LOL..I remember once when we were in nh on vacation..my family has a tendency to get rather silly at times..(we often change words around on purpose like Leed SPimit)..anyway ..it was my Mom,Brother, Niece, Sister, Myself and one other niece who is not around us a often. Now my niece who doesnt see us often was not feeling well(her parents left her with us and took the rest of their family out to dinner).. anyway, my brother starts pretended he's the "vindow Viper" and he's come to VIPE the VINDOWS...now this goes on for about 20-30 minutes with various people telling the vindow wiper to go avay etc..anyway we are ALL LAUGHING hysterically..(i guess you have to be there lol)..and my niece who was not feeling well has tears going down her face she is laughing so hard..I guess we made her forget the dang cramps she was suffering from ;-) |
Tksoard | Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 09:55 am  I know it's true. Laughter IS the best medicine!! One day, I was feeling SO bad, it was like my life was over, alot of personal problems and so much I can't go into it. I turned on the TV for some back ground noise, and Mork and Mindy was on. The first time I ever saw it, and I didn't stop laughing for 30 min!! After that show, it was like I forgot all my problems and just felt so much better. I'll never forget that day, or that show. |
Whit4you | Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 12:35 am  I loved this thread - don't want it archived while I'm out of town - cause I have some things to add to it soooo.... BUMP! |
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