Archive through April 09, 2001

The ClubHouse: General Discussions - Jan -Apr. 2001: April: Warnings: Archive through April 09, 2001

Flint

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 01:04 pm Click here to edit this post
Talking about using the internet as a tool, and hearing someone say tools come with warnings made me think to some of the STUPID warnings we see on objects. What are the stupidest, or funniest, warnings you ave seen?

I remember seeing a hair dryer that had a warning: Do not use in shower.

And an iron that said: Do not hold against face.

Flint

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 01:12 pm Click here to edit this post
I think the same iron also warned people not to use it while wearing clothes. :)

Gail

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 02:03 pm Click here to edit this post
hmmmm . . . Flint, I wonder if that means you are supposed to iron naked?

On many drip style coffee pots, the carafe has a warning that says "Do not hold over people"

Lancecrossfire

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 02:05 pm Click here to edit this post
Warning on chain saw: Do not use hands or face to stop moving chain.

No shit!

Soeur

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 02:39 pm Click here to edit this post
from my husband (copied from the package of his knife used for cutting film): "When replacing a new blade, you should put the blade back to the knife box without fail. For the safety sake, be certain not to leave your blade on the table or here and there"

Flint

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 03:12 pm Click here to edit this post
Heh. :) Those are good. I was talking with a buddy of mine and he brought up the following;

On a camera box: This camera will only work when film is inside.

On an air conditioner: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

On the vaccuum cleaner: Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids and Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.

Twiggyish

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:05 pm Click here to edit this post
How about those warnings on mattresses about removing tags? A stupid warning..LOL

Nancy091158

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:21 pm Click here to edit this post
i have a seen a site with all kinds of warnings like"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

Nancy091158

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:23 pm Click here to edit this post
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

Nancy091158

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:27 pm Click here to edit this post
Safety Procedures:

"Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.

"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ingredients:

"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

"100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater.

Flint

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:30 pm Click here to edit this post
heh those are good :)

I guess the really frightening, sad, and/or amusing thing is that in a lot of cases the warnings have been put there BECAUSE people have done those things. :)

Schoolmarm

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:44 pm Click here to edit this post
How about the MacDonald's warning that the coffee is hot?
I wonder how many of these warnings are in reply to a lawsuit!

Noslonna

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 05:06 pm Click here to edit this post
On a can of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not insert curling iron into any bodily orifice

Twiggyish

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 05:33 pm Click here to edit this post
Good point Marm.

Schoolmarm

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 06:20 pm Click here to edit this post
Ouch, to the curling iron warning!!!
Just saw this one on an ad for the new Jello Jelly Bean mold...young children should eat beans under adult supervision...beans should be chewed, and not swallowed whole. DUH!!

Moondance

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 08:07 pm Click here to edit this post
Alcohol Warning Labels

If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ......

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay thinks like thish.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas Party.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants (panties) anyways.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/ or name you can't remember.)

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really big biker guy
named "Big Al."

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

Leap

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 09:25 pm Click here to edit this post
The breath mint one cracked me up because just today I saw the phrase, "Not for weight control" on a box of Snackwells.

(Don't lots of people head for the Snackwells when on a diet?)

Max

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 10:36 pm Click here to edit this post
At church this morning, a male friend couldn't help but wonder why there was a notice posted over the urinals warning that the blue screens covering the drain should not be removed. Yuck!

Tukuul

Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 10:57 pm Click here to edit this post
...or the one that says "Please do not eat the white mint."

Elitist

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 07:35 am Click here to edit this post
Bottom of Coke bottle:

"Open other end"

Flint

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 07:37 am Click here to edit this post
Here are some that I found on the net...

Bath & Body Works Linen Spray: For adult external use only. Avoid spraying in face or eyes.

Liquid Plummer: Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Unknown Toilet Plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Shout Gel: CAUTION: Contains cleaning agents. Do not treat garment while wearing.


Aveeno Bath Treatment: For external use only

Unknown Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Clairol Herbal Essences Maximum Hold airspray: WARNING: Do not smoke until hair is dry.

Bath & Body Works Peppermint Foot Spray: CAUTION: Avoid contact with face, eyes, and broken skin.

Wet-Nap: Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Fetish Body Mist: Not for intimate hygiene.

Bath & Body Works Protective Anti - Bacterial Hand Lotion: Avoid contact with eyes.

Cabot's Vitamin E Chamile Anti - Stress Bath Calming Bath Soak: For adult use only.

heh, i had avoided the lawsuit issue, because if I recall hearing it properly, most of the warnings have been put in place because of US lawsuits, and Americans improperly, or stupidly using things. Didn't want to start bashing Yankees. This time. ;)

Tukuul

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 08:05 am Click here to edit this post
Darn! I used to love ice cream topped with hair coloring too. Mmmmmmmmmmm

Flint

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 08:36 am Click here to edit this post
I know what ya mean Tuk, I always used the Bath & Body Works Peppermint Foot Spray as a breath freshener. I guess I had better stop.

Willi

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 09:01 am Click here to edit this post
On ice-cream containers:

"Keep Frozen."

Twiggyish

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:47 pm Click here to edit this post
LOL Flint! Those are a riot.