Leap | Thursday, February 01, 2001 - 10:43 am  A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked. "Yes, I do," she replied. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember." "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?" "Yes, I do," she said. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have gotten out today. A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on it. In order the figures were: 1. A Woman 2. A Donkey 3. A Shovel 4. A Fish 5. A Star of David. After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the leader took the rock and went on a lecture tour. He said the carvings were several thousands of years old but even so they revealed a lot about the people of that time. 1. The woman being placed first in the line of figures indicated that women were held in very high esteem. It was most likely a family oriented culture. 2. The donkey indicated they had domesticated animals. They probably used the donkey to till the fields. 3. The shovel shows they were highly intelligent as they knew how to make tools. 4. The fish shows they knew how to augment the crops they raised by also reaping from the sea. 5. The Star of David of course indicates they were a very religious group of people. A little old man in the front row finally got the attention of the speaker. When acknowledged he said, "I'm sorry to blow your conclusions, but you were reading it left to right. In Hebrew we read from right to left. That way it really reads is . . . Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that woman! |