What Does It Take To Be A Woman?

The ClubHouse: General Discussions - Jan -Apr. 2001: February: What Does It Take To Be A Woman?

Guruchaz

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 01:42 pm Click here to edit this post

Aside from the obvious, in your opinion, what makes a woman a woman/lady?

Soeur

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 01:43 pm Click here to edit this post

An ongoing relationship to the waxing and waning of the moon.

Guruchaz

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 01:45 pm Click here to edit this post

Please, no one line answers. This is a serious discussion, not a word game.

Twiggyish

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 01:51 pm Click here to edit this post

Well I don't know what it takes, as we don't have a choice in the matter. (Unless a person is surgically changed)
For myself, I try not to let my emotions overcome common sense.
Guru, Soeur has a good point. As a man, you don't understand her sentence. To me, I think it sums up a lot about being a woman.

Soeur, right on sister!

Cammie

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 01:56 pm Click here to edit this post

Maybe he means what makes us =feel= like women.

Guru?

Cammie

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 02:00 pm Click here to edit this post

Twig, I agree. The biggest challenge is keeping emotions from blurring out common sense.

Guruchaz

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 02:02 pm Click here to edit this post

I'm not chiming in until people who want this board to survive start participating. I'm creating the topics and I WILL chime in, but don't expect me to give everyone an opinion to build on.

That goes for every topic I make.

If that's how you perceive the question Cammie, yes.

Soeur

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 02:03 pm Click here to edit this post

I am so glad that I saw guru's response before I posted my definition for manhood (w-h-e-w!!)

emotions (f)? common sense(m)?

both are human attributes but how they are experienced by men/women is very different.

I know there really is such a thing as 'women's intution' and that it is a powerful guiding force in my life, but my challenge as a woman is to balance it against other qualities/perceptions.

Guruchaz

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 02:17 pm Click here to edit this post

I mean that above statement in the most productive way.
Sometimes it's irritating to try to start any conversation around here. No wonder the board is dead.

Maybe it's time we all hit the Chapel.

Twiggyish

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 02:38 pm Click here to edit this post

Oh Guru, don't get all riled. We are responding to you.

Soeur, that is true.

Gu, don't worry.. a good debate topic will start and there will be a lot of posters again.

Noslonna

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 02:46 pm Click here to edit this post

To me being a woman is the ability to experience all emotions deeply. To bear pain and sorrow as well as health and joy. To find fulfillment in mundane tasks done for others. To find pleasure in simple experiences and cherish the highs in life. To nuture others. To understand and love even the unloveable. To feel real pride in all accomplishments, not just our own. The ability to share unconditionallly. To get angry and not destroy. To be strong when those around you cannot be. To hold things together and keep peace.

Men feel emotional too but a woman's feelings are often tied to those lunar cycles and can run the gamut from intensely happy to tearful in a matter of hours depending on the time of month. There is something wonderful about having so many emotional responses in such a short time. It is one of the things that makes us women.

Guruchaz

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 03:21 pm Click here to edit this post

Thanks Nos. That's the type of answer I was hoping to generate.

Max

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 03:35 pm Click here to edit this post

Hmmmm... This is a good question and not one that's easy to answer.

I think part of what makes us women is that we tend to think from a self-centered viewpoint. I truly don't mean that to be negative. What I mean is that we see how people act/react around us and wonder what we did that caused their actions and whether we could have done something differently to make a different outcome. I just don't see guys doing that much. Sometimes this manifests as being caring and nurturing. Sometimes it just makes us question and doubt our actions to extreme.

We also tend to talk about our feelings much more than men do. By talking, we work through our "issues", either simply by getting them out of our system (aka, venting) or recognizing available courses of action while we talk about the situation. Men tend to talk about situations only when they seek solutions. This dicotomy of style causes lots of friction between the sexes as neither of us can seem to fully understand why the other doesn't see it OUR way.

We also seem to have a unique ability to remember exact conversations from years ago when something was promised and not delivered or when someone said something that was hurtful to us or our loved ones. Somehow, we are the archivists of the species in this respect. Not all these archives are full of negative experiences and conversations. We're much more likely to remember the exact date, time, and weather conditions of the first kiss with our greatest love (past or present) than a man. Perhaps this is part of the stuff that makes Dr. Drew (from MTV and radio fame) call us the "keepers of intimacy" in relationships.

We can also be the most viscious creatures on the planet. Especially if a loved one is threatened (of course, there are the Susan Smiths of the world to act as the exceptions to this rule). Our anger can be sparked quickly and can manifest in many, often indirect, ways. If you piss us off, don't think you're off the hook just 'cause we let you leave the room without getting yelled at. Our revenge is not always directly apparent, but that doesn't mean we don't get it.

Meredith Brooks' song "B!tch" sums it up for me pretty well. We are sometimes angelic, sometimes the devil incarnate. We're mothers, lovers, children. We're unpredictable, changable, and yet somehow reliable, too. "Just when you think you've got me figured out, the season's already changing!"

Ah, what would life be if we were all the same? Pretty durned boring, I think!

Moondance

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 03:47 pm Click here to edit this post

I know I'm not answering the question directly but I wanted to share this e-mail I received a while back ... I have it where I can read it now and again...

A Woman should have...

...one old love she can imagine going back to ... and one who reminds her how far she has come...

...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

...a youth she's content to leave behind......a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...

...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

...one friend who always makes her laugh ... and one who lets her cry...

...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honoredÉ

...a feeling of control over her destiny...

Every Woman should know...

...how to fall in love without losing herself...

...how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

...when to try harder ... and when to walk away...

...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

...that her childhood may not have been perfect ... but its over...

...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

...how to live alone ... even if she doesn't like it...

...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

...where to go ... be it to her best friend's kitchen table ... or a charming inn in the woods ... when her soul needs soothing...

...what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Noslonna

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 04:00 pm Click here to edit this post

Misha I love that! I can say I am almost there... only 2 I can't say yes to... yet.

Twiggyish

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 05:18 pm Click here to edit this post

Great posts!

Elitist

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 09:39 pm Click here to edit this post

What does it take for me to be a woman? Good question.

Aside from the obvious:

I sleep all night and I work all day.
I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea.
I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

Misslibra

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 10:54 pm Click here to edit this post

A gentle touch, a loving and compassionate heart, a listening ear, a forgiving nature, arms that are always open for a hug. And lots of patients with Men.

Glass

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 10:58 pm Click here to edit this post

The previous post got me thinking....Why were the Monty Python folks always dressing up like women?
Jealousy??? Envy??? Laughs???


Back to the main subject... The emotions thing - the caring, nurturing, compassionate side of us... While men can also have these traits, we tend to be a bit more demonstrative.

I also think that although outward appearance may be solely important to some, my body parts are not the sum of why I feel feminine. It comes from an awareness and acceptance of my inner self as well as my body (very empowering)! A little playfulness (flirting) in how I interact with others and vulnerability (without weakness) can boost my feminine side too.

Guruchaz

Sunday, February 25, 2001 - 12:02 am Click here to edit this post

LOL E! I think you're in the wrong thread.

Norwican

Monday, February 26, 2001 - 08:04 am Click here to edit this post

A woman does not define herself by those that surround her.

A woman can laugh at herself.

A woman will pick up the pieces.

Ocean_Islands

Monday, February 26, 2001 - 08:11 am Click here to edit this post

The pieces of what?

Norwican

Monday, February 26, 2001 - 08:14 am Click here to edit this post

whatever... cookies, pride, relationship, etc.