* Physical Abuse: What is your definition of "spanking" versus "beating"?
The ClubHouse: General Discussions - Jan -Apr. 2001: March:
* Physical Abuse: What is your definition of "spanking" versus "beating"?
| Subtopic | Msgs | Last Updated |
Lancecrossfire | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 11:15 am  Guru, I haven't posted to this thread. What is the reason you think Twiggyish and I should have a chat? (call me dense today) |
Twiggyish | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 11:24 am  Yeah, I don't get it either..lol |
Guruchaz | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 12:16 pm  Lance and Twiggy, I guess that post was a bit obscure. I just remember you talking about some of your beliefs, Lance, and thought it would be an interesting conversation between you and Twiggy. |
Moondance | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 02:07 pm  Karuuna and Twiggs, thanks again for those wonderful posts! Guru, I thought of Lance also... It was a good example how when other people have a different belief doesn't necessarily make them wrong or immoral and Twiggs sounded as if she opened her heart and mind to her teacher's philosophy... a great example how diversity is a good thing and we can learn from everyone. You also made a judgment, Guru on Kar's friend, you said >Your best friend is an excuse maker who fears change within herself. < I find that interesting in this thread because two wonderful parents have showed by example how it is not necessary to spank but it seems to me that nothing said would convince you otherwise ... like you would find it necessary to spank to discipline ... just a question... |
Twiggyish | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 02:34 pm  Gu, did you think my post above indicated my religious beliefs? I can assure you I am not an athiest. But, I try not to close my mind to the teachings of others because of their religious beliefs. |
Karuuna | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 04:33 pm  Guru - Thanks for your remarks. I do believe my friend was in some denial about how her own behavior "taught" her children much more than the words she used. It's a terribly difficult thing to be a parent. One of the things that often haunts me, is when I read something that says I should have done "thus and so" when my son was younger, and that since I didn't, it's too late to fix the result. Sometimes I'm quite tempted to flee into denial myself! On a slightly different point, it strikes me how often we treat our loved ones with our worst behavior, when many of us would never dare speak to a stranger that way. I think what motivates us in those close personal situations is often cloaked to our own consciousness. Knowing that has made me far more patient with other people's shortcomings, and my own as well. |
Twiggyish | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 04:52 pm  That is a good point, too! |
Guruchaz | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 05:54 pm  No, Twiggy. I think everyone here likes to take a simple statement and create massive confusion with it. Oh, did I make another judgement? |
Lafatme | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 06:04 pm  i don't know if anything i say is relevant or not, but that's never stopped me yet so here goes. as a child i was spanked once, that i remember. it was an ordeal for my dad and i can remember how terribly uncomfortable he felt doing it. my parents TALKED to me, (and talked and talked and talked)and explained WHY i shouldn't act as i did. they also emphasized that i dishonored and hurt them, and their reputations among friends and neighbors, when i did wrong. i tried to always remember that my actions affected them and didn't want anyone to think of them as bad parents. i didn't need, or fear, corporal punishment at all but hated the thought of hurting or disappointing my parents. i've been told that this approach doesn't work with all children, but it worked with me. |
Guruchaz | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 07:13 pm  I guess it also depends on how close one is with their parents in not wanting to disappoint them. I'm trying to look back at how I felt when I was punished for doing something I wasn't supposed to. To this day, I still don't feel my dad knows too much about who I am but I could be wrong. Like I've already said, we never had the one on one talks. At least none that I can remember. Anyway, I suppose I felt bad about being punished or whatever it was I did, but I don't recall worrying about disappointing my dad. There are other people in my life though that I worry about disappointing for whatever reason. It's hard to explain. |
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