~Enneagram~
The ClubHouse: General Discussions - Jan -Apr. 2001: January:
~Enneagram~
Moondance | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 01:41 pm  Which Type are you? Enneagram Take the test ... you will get a number for each type... look at the 2-3 types you scored highest in ... come back here and read about them Type 1: The Perfectionist/Reformer. The rational, idealistic type Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me * Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. * Acknowledge my achievements. * I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. * Tell me that you value my advice. * Be fair and considerate, as I am. * Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. * Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. What I Like About Being a One * being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal * working hard to make the world a better place * having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself * being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do * being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions * being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people What's Hard About Being a One * being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met * feeling burdened by too much responsibility * thinking that what I do is never good enough * not being appreciated for what I do for people * being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am * obsessing about what I did or what I should do * being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously Ones as Children Often * criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others * refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect * focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers * are very responsible; may assume the role of parent * hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") Ones as Parents * teach their children responsibility and strong moral values * are consistent and fair * discipline firmly Type 2: The Helper. The caring, nurturing type Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs. How to Get Along with Me * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific. * Share fun times with me. * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours. * Let me know that I am important and special to you. * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me. In Intimate Relationships * Reassure me that I am intersting to you. * Reassure me often that you love me. * Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me. What I Like About Being a Two * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better * being generous, caring, and warm * being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor What's Hard About Being a Two * not being able to say no * having low self-esteem * feeling drained from overdoing for others * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should * being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings Twos as Children Often * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding * are outwardly compliant * are popular or try to be popular with other children * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos) Twos as Parents * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't) * are often playful with their children * wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?" * can become fiercely protective Type 3: The Achiever/Motivator. The adaptable, success-oriented type Achivers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented. How to Get Along with Me * Leave me alone when I am doing my work. * Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback. * Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful. * Don't burden me with negative emotions. * Tell me you like being around me. * Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments. What I Like About Being a Three * being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat * providing well for my family * being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge * staying informed, knowing what's going on * being competent and able to get things to work efficiently * being able to motivate people What's Hard About Being a Three * having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence * the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful * comparing myself to people who do things better * struggling to hang on to my success * putting on facades in order to impress people * always being "on." It's exhausting. Threes as Children Often * work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments * are well liked by other children and by adults * are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school * are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects Threes as Parents * are consistent, dependable, and loyal * struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done * expect their children to be responsible and organized Type 4: The Romantic/Artist. The intuitive, reserved type Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive. How to Get Along with Me * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! What I Like About Being a Four * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level * my ability to establish warm connections with people * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor * being unique and being seen as unique by others * having aesthetic sensibilities * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me What's Hard About Being a Four * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved * feeling guilty when I disappoint people * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me * expecting too much from myself and life * fearing being abandoned * obsessing over resentments * longing for what I don't have Fours as Children Often * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s * are very sensitive * feel that they don't fit in * believe they are missing something that other people have * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc. * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce) Fours as Parents * help their children become who they really are * support their children's creativity and originality * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed Type 5: The Observer/Thinker. The perceptive, cerebral type Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful. How to Get Along with Me * Be independent, not clingy. * Speak in a straightforward and brief manner. * I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts. * Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable. * Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity. * If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place. * don't come on like a bulldozer. * Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy. What I Like About Being a Five * standing back and viewing life objectively * coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects * my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure * not being caught up in material possessions and status * being calm in a crisis What's Hard About Being a Five * being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world * feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all * being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be * watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally Fives as Children Often * spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on * have a few special friends rather than many * are very bright and curious and do well in school * have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers * watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information * assume a poker face in order not to look afraid * are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict * feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected Fives as Parents * are often kind, perceptive, and devoted * are sometimes authoritarian and demanding * may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate * may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions Type 6: The Questioner/Skeptic. The committed, security-oriented type Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative. How to Get Along with Me * Be direct and clear. * Listen to me carefully. * Don't judge me for my anxiety. * Work things through with me. * Reassure me that everything is OK between us. * Laugh and make jokes with me. * Gently push me toward new experiences. * Try not to overreact to my overreacting. What I Like About Being a Six * being committed and faithful to family and friends * being responsible and hardworking * being compassionate toward others * having intellect and wit * being a nonconformist * confronting danger bravely * being direct and assertive What's Hard About Being a Six * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right * being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations Sixes as Children Often * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger * form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent Sixes as Parents * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence * worry more than most that their children will get hurt * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries Type 7: The Generalist/Adventurer The enthusiastic, productive type Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world. How to Get Along with Me * Give me companionship, affection, and freedom. * Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter. * Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories. * Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am. * Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people. * Don't tell me what to do. What I Like About Being a Seven * being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down * being spontaneous and free-spirited * being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun. * being generous and trying to make the world a better place * having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures * having such varied interests and abilities What's Hard About Being a Seven * not having enough time to do all the things I want * not completing things I start * not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career * having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies * feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship Sevens as Children Often * are action oriented and adventuresome * drum up excitement * prefer being with other children to being alone * finesse their way around adults * dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up Sevens as Parents * are often enthusiastic and generous * want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life * may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive Type 8: The Asserter/Leader. The powerful, aggressive type Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective. How to Get Along with Me * Stand up for yourself... and me. * Be confident, strong, and direct. * Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. * Give me space to be alone. * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. * I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am. What I Like About Being a Eight * being independent and self-reliant * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on * being courageous, straightforward, and honest * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me * upholding just causes What's Hard About Being a Eight * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it * never forgetting injuries or injustices * putting too much pressure on myself * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right Eights as Children Often * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit * are sometimes loners * seize control so they won't be controlled * fugure out others' weaknesses * attack verbally or physically when provoked * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings Eights as Parents * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted * are sometimes overprotective * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid Type 9: The Peacemaker. The easygoing, accommodating type Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them. How to Get Along with Me * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure. * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this. * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit. * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally. * Ask me questions to help me get clear. * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery. * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings. * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation. * Let me know you like what I've done or said. * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life. What I Like About Being a Nine * being nonjudgmental and accepting * caring for and being concerned about others * being able to relax and have a good time * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe What's Hard About Being a Nine * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally * being confused about what I really want * caring too much about what others will think of me * not being listened to or taken seriously Nines as Children Often * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant * tune out a lot, especially when others argue * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves Nines as Parents * are supportive, kind, and warm * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 01:45 pm  Moon, aren't you going to take the horncat test?? Hmmm |
Moondance | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 01:49 pm  I was busy putting this together... I just posted my score in that thread! |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:04 pm  I saw that--thanks Moon. You aren't that much of a horndog/horn/cat after all. I just want to be a pervert with one person. |
Moondance | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:05 pm  Type 7 followed by a close Type 2 |
Moondance | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:06 pm  Anything for you, Lance |
Max | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:10 pm  My top category is Type 7: The Generalist. The enthusiastic, productive type. World View: The world is full of opportunity and options. I look forward to the future. Basic Desire: to be happy Basic Fear: of being deprived Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire: Need to be happy -> explore and appreciate world -> happy -> Need to be happy In the healthy state, the need to be happy induces Type Sevens to explore the world and genuinely appreciate what they find. They derive great happiness as a result, thus their need is satisfied and a balance is reached. In the average state, when Sevens' are not exploring and appreciating the world, they become restless and unhappy. The the need to be happy increases, which helps Sevens to again reach out to the world and find things to appreciate. Thus the balancing loop can help Sevens to recover. Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear: Fear of being being deprived -> numbly seek sensations -> happy -> Fear of being being deprived In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being being deprived can cause Type Sevens to numbly seek new and different sensations and adventures without truly appreciating the experience. This means they will derive little happiness from all the highs, which further increases Sevens' feeling of emptiness and basic fear of being deprived. The cycle continues to build up. Insight: We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Sevens can refrain from jumping into the next project, and appreciate more what they experience. This will cause them to be more happy, and thus reduce their fear of being being deprived. I scored 5 in each of the folowing categories: Type 2: The Helper. The caring, nurturing type. Type 6: The Skeptic. The committed, security-oriented type. Type 8: The Leader. The powerful, aggressive type.
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Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:20 pm  Your highest score will indicate you basic type, or it will be among the top 2-3 scores. You have answered all the questions -- terrific! Type 1--6 Type 2--3 Type 3--4 Type 4--2 Type 5--7 Type 6--3 Type 7--3 Type 8--3 Type 9--5 Type 5---7 (observer/thinker) Type 1---6 (perfectionist/reformer) Type 9---5 (peacemaker) |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:26 pm  Moon, I can see that being pretty darned true for you. Do you think it's close? Max, was your score in type 7 a 6, or was it 7 or higher? You had quite few with a 5. How close do you feel it matches how you see yourself? |
Moondance | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:30 pm  Lance, I think mine is pretty right on... I also scored 3rd highest as Type 4. Yours seems to hit it too! |
Resortgirl | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:32 pm  2--7,7--7,8--5 |
Max | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:35 pm  Lance, I scored 6 in the Type 7 category. I think it's pretty accurate, but I do have healthy doses of aspects described for the Helper, Skeptic, and Leader, too. What can I say? I'm an enigma!  |
Flint | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:39 pm  Hmmm...I remember doing something like this a couple of years ago. May as well do it again, and try and find out what I scored before. ;) Odds are it will just tell me that I am a Sensual, romantic horndog. |
Juju2bigdog | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:44 pm  <slosh, slosh>
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Flint | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:48 pm  Lets see I am *cough* type 2 The Helper. *cough* I scored; Type 1: The Reformer. The rational, idealistic type.(5) Type 2: The Helper. The caring, nurturing type. (7) Type 3: The Motivator. The adaptable, success-oriented type. (5) Type 4: The Artist. The intuitive, reserved type. (3) Type 5: The Thinker. The perceptive, cerebral type. (2) Type 6: The Skeptic. The committed, security-oriented type. (3) Type 7: The Generalist. The enthusiastic, productive type. (5) Type 8: The Leader. The powerful, aggressive type. (5) Type 9: The Peacemaker. The easygoing, accommodating type. (1) |
Azriel | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:50 pm  Type 9 - 4 Type 8 - 2 Type 7 - 7 Type 6 - 5 Type 5 - 2 Type 4 - 5 Type 3 - 5 Type 2 - 5 Type 1 - 1 Very interesting.  |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 02:57 pm  Moon, I was a bit surprised about the peacemaker score being that high. I can also see that your 3rd place score would be in type 4. I wouldn't have been surprised if it had been your second place score. Resortgirl, do you think your scores were accurate for how you see yourself? |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 03:11 pm  Max, isn't that what they give people who have really bad intestine problems?? Oh, you said enigma! Sorry, wrong word. hehehe Flint, Az--both of you have multiple traits with 5's. That is interesting that most folks had scores as their second highs which covered a number of types. Max is included in that as well. Flint, I would have expected you to score higher on the thinker type--you seem to be able to look at the big picture pretty well. I was obviously wrong. hahaha (about the score I mean) |
Gail | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 04:36 pm  Type 1 - 4 Type 2 - 6 Type 3 - 4 Type 4 - 4 Type 5 - 2 Type 6 - 5 Type 7 - 3 Type 8 - 2 Type 9 - 6 |
Lancecrossfire | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 04:44 pm  Gail, do you feel your results were accurate based on how you feel about yourself? |
Twiggyish | Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 07:01 pm  My highest scores were 2, 7, 9. The generalist, the helper and the peacemaker. My next high score was for the artist. |
Guruchaz | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 04:22 pm  Enneagram? No thanks, Moon. I eat bran. Uh huh huh  |
Moondance | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 05:00 pm  Wow, then you best be regular! |
Juju2bigdog | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 05:03 pm  Yes, Moon, Gu is a regular poster to this forum. It is somewhat irregular that you would not know that.
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Guruchaz | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 08:20 pm  Like clockwork, but that's getting personal. Oh, and I'm a Type 7 |
Tukuul | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 08:26 pm  Type 3 here, with a close 7. |
Moondance | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 08:34 pm  |
Digilady | Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 09:18 pm  Gawwd, Tuk, me too! Type 3 with a close 7. Motivator/Generalist. Hmmmmmm. |
Norwican | Friday, January 12, 2001 - 12:47 pm  Type 1: 4 Type 2: 3 Type 3: 4 Type 4: 2 Type 5: 3 Type 6: 6 Type 7: 3 Type 8: 7 Type 9: 4 |
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