Archive through October 08, 2003
TV ClubHouse: archive: New Parents to be...Tips & Advice (ARCHIVE):
Archive through October 08, 2003
Kimmo | Friday, September 19, 2003 - 11:41 pm     Nate is so cute! I'm glad he's sleeping longer. Rowan and I are now back to 8:30 and still inching slowly backwards... And here's a picture from when he first got his glasses:
He wears them all day now, and likes it! It just took getting used to...I did get a strap, but don't see a need for it now... |
Enbwife | Sunday, September 21, 2003 - 09:55 am     That's amazing that he keeps his glasses on... wow! Our family has had a cold all week so that's put a damper on things. We're all getting better now but poor Nate has had some new teeth on top of the cold... Work is going well and Nate loves daycare so that's good. Hope you're all doing well out there. |
Danzdol | Monday, September 22, 2003 - 06:42 am     hi gang! Well Dylan is doing good. He is officially walking now (before he kept alternating between crawling and walking). He is getting sooo big! He is also teething ENB which is horrible. He is 15 months and only has 2 bottom teeth and one on top. I have a feeling that they will all come in at the same time poor thing. He still does not drink water or hold his bottle (which by now we have to take away anyway). He has started to mimmick my hands when I sing "the itsy bitsy spider", soooo cute. Does anyone have any ideas of home made Halloween costumes? I don't feel like spending too much money on a costume.................... |
Maris | Monday, September 22, 2003 - 09:33 am     I tend to pop into this thread to check out the pictures and I have a suggestion for a halloween costume that I did for my two year old a long time ago. It is very easy. Use an old child white turtleneck sweater or white t-shirt, pair of little white tights, one adult white knee-hi. Buy a package of orange dye and tie-dye all of them. Stuff the knee-hi with toilet paper and sew it to the seat of the tights. Using a black magic marker after you have tie-dyed and dried the turtleneck draw a few black stripes on the front of the t.shirt. Get black makeup and paint whiskers on his face and you have a tiger which is often a favorite of little two year old boys. He wont have to wear a mask which he might find scary and he will love the little tail that is sewn on the seat of the tights. If you use old clothes it wont cost anything except the dye. You can ask friend if any of their little girls have white tights they dont need. A godzilla costume is also easy. Green turtle neck, green tights, green felt and green face paint. Silver paint. Paint the front of the turtleneck in silver paint just splotch it on. Make a tail out of the felt with the little triangle shapes along the back. stuff it with old panty hose or toilet paper. Paint silver paint on the back of the tail. Paint face green and there you go. Good luck and love all the pics. |
Enbwife | Wednesday, September 24, 2003 - 12:38 pm     Great ideas! Last year one of our stores were blowing out their halloween costumes for $3.00 so I bought a lion costume for Nate but I have no idea if it will fit or not. So much fun! |
Danzdol | Friday, September 26, 2003 - 12:11 pm     Hi gang: I have a long one. At Dylan's 15 month check up the doctor was very worried that he was not yet saying any words. I truly wasn't until he said something because I figured he would start when he is ready. Then I went to lunch with my SIL yesterday and she suggested that Dylan has a lot of symptoms of autism. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. As a baby he never liked to be held too much, he dislikes unexpected loud sounds, he gets uncomfortable when first entering a room with a lot of people then once he adjusts he is fine, he likes to shut and open doors. Then I start to get worried because now she has made me start reading all about autism and I am all jittery about his 18 month check up where the doc said that if he was not talking he would have to get neurological testing. Then again, I think all of the things I said above are things that are normal for a lot of babies. THe way she said it " Because of the way he was born and because of how he has been since birth and to his situation now....." I can't believe I did not answer back. I sat there in disbelief and thought "Well he was a c-section baby (no big deal), he never liked to be smothered with hugs (he does now) all of the things she said make me thing"So what- that is what kids do" As much as I hate to admit it now I am a wreck and I cannot stop thinking about it. She even called me and said she wanted to apologize because she felt remorseful of putting all those things in my head and that it was because she is going through something similar and hears those things all day long. (She has a 3 year old that doesn't talk and is going to intense therapy for it and I guess might be diagnosed with autism soon). I really like the school of thought that says everyone is so fast to diagnose kids nowadays with ADD, PDD and a zillion other things and they are forgetting that these are only kids and that they need their time and space to grow. I just read a great article on it http://www.parenting.com/parenting/article/article_general/0,8266,9235,00.html On the other hand , I don't want to be naive and dismiss what could be serious signs............. What do you all think? |
Kimmo | Friday, September 26, 2003 - 02:08 pm     Dylan is only 15 months old...I don't that was very fair of your sister in law to suggest that so early. From what I have read it isn't until 18 months or even later that you need to start worrying. Every baby is different. Does Dylan try to communicate with words at all? Even noises that are not words to us are words to a baby, and would count. I was paranoid that Rowan was not talking as early as he should when he was 12-15 months...He would mostly point. I asked our pediatrician at the 16-month checkup what he thought of Rowan's verbal skills and he said he was fine, even though I explained how little he spoke. But he did have quite a few words racked up, even though he only popped out with one intermittently. |
Julieboo | Friday, September 26, 2003 - 02:28 pm     Danz I will write more to you later. Ryan didn't even say Mama til he was 2 1/2. My pediatrician said at his 18 mo. checkup (he didn't have any words then) that he might be delayed, or maybe not. A lot of boys are slower to talk and take off around 2 years. My suggestion is call your county and have Early Intervention evaluate him. It's all free and they are very helpful. Ryan got speech therapy and Occupational therapy. Anyways, i gotta run now. But don't get too upset, yet. Just call your county and see what they offer. Once he gets evaluated, you'll feel much better. |
Danzdol | Friday, September 26, 2003 - 02:58 pm     Julie: What do they do at evaluation? Kimmo: No he does not try to communicate with words. If he is sleepy he will come to me and pull my shirt and rub his eyes, if he pooped he comes and pull my shirt and looks at me (until I get a whiff of it of course. He does not point either, he just gets what he wants, if he can't reach it then he will cry and look at it and then look at me to get it. Then I say "ball?" or whatever it is and he cries again and we do this over and over until he gets so upset that I give it to him. It doesnt happen often though because everything he likes is at his level so he can get it. If I say "shoes" or "socks" he gives me his legs and if I say "Barney" he looks at the tv and cries if I take too long putting it on. So I know he understands some words. We have a glass door at our home. When he wants out he bangs the door with his hands and screams like an "ah!" over and over to let us know he wants to go for a walk. |
Julieboo | Friday, September 26, 2003 - 03:13 pm     Sounds like his receptive language is good. Same with Ryan. His receptive language was fine. It was his expressive language that was a problem. They said he had Apraxia-which is kinda hard to for sure diagnose. Especially cuz some kids-especially boys, are late talkers. (I think there is a really good book called "the Late Talker") Oh, in simple terms, Apraxia is like a short circuit in the brain which stops the mouth from getting the words out. The kids knows what he wants to say, just can't get his thoughts out. Anyways, at the eval, they'll do all sorts of testing. Can he stack blocks, use a fork, throw a ball, go up stairs, etc... I am sure they will set up a hearing test to make sure that is not a problem. (if he can't hear well, then it will be really hard for him to talk.) They'll also ask you all sorts of things like does he have an aversion to certain textures, (sand, shaving cream, even long sleeves). Ryan got loads of therapy from Early Intervention. The bad thing is at age 3, they cut ya off and from there you go thru the regular school system. Ryan went from 2 hours of speech therapy, one hour of OT, one hour of music and and hour of this cute little group therapy to about 30 min of OT and speech. But he has totally come along. At age 3-a year ago, he could barely put 2 words together. No way could he say a whole sentence. And now, he talks up a storm. He has some speech problems, (like he'll say tat for cat or tookie for cookie) but he really has come along. And of course I was rather upset, who wants to think their kid is not "normal". But if you can get on track and get him evaluated, you'll be okay. I found my ped. to be very UNhelpful. He was not even the one who told me about Early Int. (It's a very long story, but i won't bore ya w/ it now.) I will tell you that you have to do a lot of investigating yourself, and there can be red tape to wade thru. Good luck and feel free to ask any questions. |
Bookworm | Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 03:19 am     Hi Danz. I have a two year old that is just starting to put words together. I work as a Head Start teacher and so I see the Speech Therapist through my work sometimes. When I spoke of my concerns with her, she told me 2 was too early to worry so long as he was fine otherwise (he is communicating in some way--grunts, gestures-- and his receptive language and hearing were fine). She said that if a child is developing certain skills (with Braedon it's his motor skills) other areas of development (language) sometimes take a back seat and don't develop as quickly. She assured me that most likely Braedon's language skills will catch up. What I would recommend, FWIW, is that you check with a local speech language pathologist (SLP) because they will either be able to reassure you, or will be able to begin evaluation and services. If you don't know how to find one, check with a preschool, Head Start, or even an elementary school in your city and they should have a name and number of one there. In my small town we have a child fair in March each year. It gives parents a chance to have their young children evaluated in a variety of areas (hearing, speech, developmental, physical, etc). The evals are very general, but if there is a problem, it would surface then. Keep your eye out for something like that. I would definitely check Dylan's hearing as well. Our local hearing van is located within the same agency as the SLP. Meanwhile, as a parent, continue to model good speech for Dylan. Read to him. Sing with him. Play with language. Encourage him to say words (as you described above with the ball) but don't push it to frustration level. Take a deep breath. And of course check back with us and let us know how things are going. By the way if a professional says there is enough delay to warrent concern I would encourage you to find some peers (such as Julieboo) who have been through, or are going through, something similar. |
Julieboo | Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 07:24 am     One thing I found surprising, is after they evaluated Ryan, they found some sensory issues, which I had no idea he had. And now after some time has passed and he is talking "normally," I am much more concerned about the sensory stuff than the speech. Somehow I think his sensory issues have something to do with his (high) level of energy. I think he gets overstimulated easily... But that's a whole different story. The point is, get him evaluated (and a hearing test) and go from there... |
Alegria | Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 07:46 am     Hi Danz. Your SIL has done you a favor because it has forced you to think about whether what she said has merit and deal with some issues. Hard & unpleasant but, ultimately, an incredibly valuable & worthwile process. My son did not start talking until he was 15 mos. old. Some people did mention that he seemed out of sync with the development charts in gross motor, cognitive areas and it alarmed me greatly. From my standpoint, he was perfect just the way he came and I did not want to start thinking about him as someone that needed 'fixing'. My attitude was to be protective of his development and let him grow and learn at his own pace. When he got older I saw that this had backfired somewhat as he had a tendency to be lazy and not push himself. Then I pushed and prodded and had him assessed. The range of results on the Weschler scale were so varied that the assessor found it difficult to label him. But basically, they determined that he had a genius I.Q. and had a great difficulty, block, impediment (whatever) when it came to expressing himself verbally/on paper. He is old enough now to discuss all of this with and my take is that he is lucky to know what he needs to work on and that being aware of a problem is the best way to start working and solving it. One other thing - in a weird way, because I was bedrock-determined to see him as being just great the way he is, my son has an innate sense of arrogance (not such a great thing) and often thinks if people are on his case that they are the ones with the problem. We are working on that. He knows that, no matter what, I am on his side and that he can trust me and that helps when I am making him squirm and deal with stuff he would rather avoid. One other thing about people, they often bring up (and rattle our cages) the stuff that scares them. They externalize and freak others out as a way of gaining control. I always watch for that. (my happy thought for the day...) |
Danzdol | Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 08:22 am     Thanks for all of your support. I guess this was just the last drop in my bucket that was already a little too full. My husband's family is always "opinionated" and it has always driven me nuts. From the way I raise my child to the way I cook, clean the pool or lead my life! Just yesterday they all came over for the Jewish holiday and my MIL insisted that Dylan needs to be rattled a little more often because he is too "calm" so she kept nagging at him and talking loudly and picking him up and swinging him around, she would look at him and say "hello, say his to grandma, can you hi , come play with your cousin blah blah blha" all non stop. Poor Dylan would look at her like she had pink feathers coming out of her ears and would try to walk away and then she would pick him up again and again until she upset him to the point that he got hysterical and I , once again, had to come to the rescue. She kept saying "you have to put the radio loud on all day, you have to have the tv on all day, you have to do this and that and this and that" How I did not throw her our of my house, I will never know but I just bit my tongue and kicked my husband under the table to say something. So, when my SIL starts with me as well it's hard to take it because it happens so often. I am certainly going to find out about early intervention. I really think he is fine. I think he just really wants to do things on his own and at his own pace. He gets upset when someone insists on making him do something (like my MIL) he reacts very well when you take a step back and let him explore things on his own and at his own pace. It's as if you can never win. Dylan likes to play on his own in his room and he can stay there for 30 minutes or more if you let him and that is a "bad" sign when you go to all of the autism websites but on the other hand if he cannot focus and play on his own then all of the other websites regarding development say that is bad too so it's all enough to drive you crazy with the information overload and over analyzing everything. I am trying to figure out where to draw the line. |
Grooch | Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 11:19 am     Here's some advice. From now on celebrate the Holidays at your inlaws. This way when they start acting like jackasses, you can just pack up and leave. sorry, I don't have kids, so I can't comment on anything else. |
Cangaroo | Monday, September 29, 2003 - 08:23 pm     If you have kids AND pets...become "one" with dirt. Get used to it. Learn to love it because it loves kids and pets. |
Enbwife | Tuesday, September 30, 2003 - 06:27 pm     Danz - I just read everything above and I am flabbergasted!!! Actually kind of mad really... From what you've said about Dylan, he sounds like a smart, typical little guy. To me 15 months is way too young to worry about speech development. The saying "misery loves company" came to mind when I read about your SIL. She's living this issue and is likely jumping the gun when it comes to Dylan. Your MIL sounds like a monster and if your husband won't say anything, I would. It's really unfair to Dylan to be all wound up from an insensitive woman who obviously has no idea what she's talking about!!! Sorry... it just really makes me mad when I hear of other people butting in to how you are with your children. I agree with you that everyone seems to rush to label kids these days and I think they just need their space and room to grow and learn and become the wonderful little boys and girls they are growing up to be. Good luck at the 18 month appt and let us know how it goes. By the way, Nate gets uncomfortable in a room full of people at first, hates loud sounds and loves to open and close doors all the time. :-) |
Twiggyish | Tuesday, September 30, 2003 - 06:44 pm     Your SIL shouldn't have said anything. All children develop at different stages!! My cousin's son didn't speak until after 2 years old (almost 3). He just took his time...and then when he finally started talking he wouldn't stop! LOL Come to think of it, Tommy didn't like to be held either. He wanted to be on the go at all times. Just relax and enjoy your baby. ((Danzdol)) (Take Grooch's advice about in-laws) |
Danzdol | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 08:44 am     Thanks everyone.....glad to hear ENB that Dylan is not alone in doing all those things. It's just annoying that everyone nowadays has so many expectations as to when babies HAVE to do things that they drive you nuts. A good example is that I have heard that when they test toddlers they will give them blocks to see if they can stack them. Well, that is fine and dandy but what about kids that don't own a set of blocks. Are they supposed to magically just stack them? Dylan just got his first set of blocks like 2 days ago. You are going to tell me that because he has not learned to stack them in 2 days he is delayed? There is something wrong with that system........ I really do my best to tune it out but sometimes it's a lot to handle. My MIL IS a monster. She can be sweet but it's always in a conniving way because she wants something or needs something. Sometimes I think that Dylan can feel how she makes me feel and that is why he reacts how he does with her. I have read that kids can feel what their parents feel. He never reacts badly with my mom. My mom takes her time with him and talks to him sweetly instead of "in your face" attitude she does. We will see about the 18 month appt. It's not until December 3rd so a lot of things can happen until then. |
Danzdol | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 08:59 am     Here is my little chunkster:
Smile at mommy!
I can open doors now, watch out here I come!
Lazy pool day.............. |
Grooch | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 09:10 am     Awwww.... what a cute baby! Word of advice from looking at the new pictures. Make sure you either tape the bathroom locks so they can't lock or have a key someplace that will unlock them. Little kids just love to lock themselves in the bathroom just to drive their parents crazy. I've climbed through quite a few bathroom windows for nieces and nephew. And it is a good idea to have an extra car key in your purse for when they try to lock themselves alone in the car, too. |
Danzdol | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 09:14 am     Thanks Grooch.....our locks have a tiny hole to insert a long pin and unlock it. His bathroom and room do not have any locks on the handles. He loves to close and open the doors. Thankfully when I say "Dylan, open the door" and I knock he loves to open for mommy and scream as if I caught him!! I do need to get the extra car key. I get terrified every time when I am loading the car. I triple check that the doors are unlocked before I go around to my side. I am neurotic about it! |
Julieboo | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 09:25 am     I love my Honda cuz it is IMPOSSIBLE to lock your keys in it! Before i got the Honda, I can't tell you how many times I would lock my keys in my car. I actually have had to break in more than once! |
Wargod | Tuesday, October 07, 2003 - 11:12 am     We still keep keys taped to the top of door frames here, lol. All 3 bedrooms and the bathroom have locks and I've been locked out often enough to have learned. Have you guys noticed the toddler clumbsiness yet? It's such a fun time, but man can they scare the heck out of you! Dylan is absolutely adorable! I love the dimple and chubby cheeks! |
Danzdol | Wednesday, October 08, 2003 - 08:29 am     Yes Wargod, I think Johnny Depp said it best (about his toddler), "it's like dealing with a little drunk man". He takes 10 steps front and then 4 back and one to the side that results in crashing the floor. Or he intends to grab something and instead slaps it away and then starts crying. Poor thing! |
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