Archive through December 11, 2003
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TV ClubHouse: archive: New Parents to be...Tips & Advice (ARCHIVE): Archive through December 11, 2003

Wargod

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 12:48 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
OMG, he's getting so big!

He's at that age where the whole world is his whole playground. He's mobile enough to explore it, which is usually an exciting thing for you, but also scary.

Do you think he'd be interested in his own little chair? Maybe if he has his own he won't be as interested in the couch.

Maybe if you help him to learn how to climb up on the couch on his own, he won't be interested in doing it without you right there?

Jewels

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:02 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Everyone is getting so big! What adorable pictures. We have the cutest babies here.

I thought I would try to post pictures of my two on halloween....we will see if this works.

This is my son as a ghost...

halloween1

Jewels

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:06 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
This is my daughter as a dalmation...

halloween2

Jewels

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:10 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Here's another picture of Jenna I took the other day. She has been trying to walk for the last couple of weeks and is really starting to toddle along. It is so sweet. She is a really sweet little girl and she has the best big brother.

Can't believe she is going to be 1 in a month, how time flies!

Jenna

Zachsmom

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:12 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Danzol- you have an absolutely beautiful baby!

As for the couch climbing? Zachary did that, he still does and he's five. Some kids are just climbers. Nothing I did (and I tried everything) helped. (I don't want to be discouraging..lol)

One thing I did do put a chair by the light switch on the wall, Zachary climbed on the chair and turned the light on and off, on and off for 15-30 minutes at a time. Yeah, it's weird but it kept him off the couch.

Zachsmom

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:13 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Jenna is beautiful! What gorgeous skin tone!

I WANT A BABY!!! (okay not really, I just miss that age)

Nate is a cutie patootie too!

You're right Jewels, we have some beautiful babies here at TVCH!

Jewels

Monday, November 17, 2003 - 09:33 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thank you. I think she is beautiful too! And it is a fun age.

Danz, she's right, distraction is great. My son wasn't a climber, but he was a couch jumper, at least that is what I called it, he would stand on the arm rest on one end and swan dive onto the couch or jump from one couch to the other (they make an L shape). I was terrified of him breaking his neck and I about had a nervous breakdown over it. Plus, I was pregnant at the time and knew it was going to put me into premature labor. It was awful. Everything I tried didn't help. Eventually, he found something new and stopped doing it. He does still like to stand on his head on the couch...but you have to pick your battles!

Hang in there...exploration is scary, but so necessary.

Kimmo

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - 05:51 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Danz, if you don't mind Dylan climbing the couch but are afraid when he gets distracted, you could turn off the TV or close the curtains.

Maybe you are already doing this, but if he climbs on again and you say, "No sofa," add something like, "Remember how you hit your leg the last time you were on the sofa?", so he knows why it's "No sofa."

When Rowan started climbing, I bought a climbing gym (just a ladder and slide and platform), and when he started repeatedly climbing, if it was still light out I'd say, "If you want to climb, let's go outside!"

But if it was dark I'd get something else out, like lie pillows on the floor or a large box, etc.
I also think climbing the furniture is fine...How else is he going to learn? But my husband refuses to tolerate it. Another battle to pick!



This is Rowan playing with his aunt, who recently came up for a week's vacation! The last time they saw each other, he wasn't even walking. Fun stuff!

Danzdol

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - 02:41 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks everyone!

Well, I don't mind him climbing IF he paid more attention to how to get down. He knows how to climb it perfectly and 90% of the time slides back down perfectly, it's the other 10% I worry about. I took him to the mall today to the play area and he must have climbed for like 45 minutes all over the place. When we got home he ran to the sofa and climbed some more. I was running behind him "no sofa, no sofa" It was comical.

JEWEL- she is sooo cute. BTW that toy in the pic is one of DYlan's favorite. He loves to put the ball in over and over and over.

WAR- he does have his own little chair but it's too flimsy. I want to get him one of the upholstered kind so he can climb on that instead.

Kimmo- maybe Santa will bring him a slide toy to get him interested.

a
With his chair in front of the famous sofa

b
his first haircut about 1 month ago

Enbwife

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 08:55 am EditMoveDeleteIP
They are all so adorable! Danz, Nate is now climbing on everything and jumping on the couch too. I read in one of my many books that if you don't want them to jump on the couch (yours or people you visit), you tell them right away that couches are for sitting on and ask them to "sit on your bum". Nate knows what this means now. If they don't you say "mommy will help you" and help him sit. Then tell him "this is the place you can jump" and provide something else like a small mattress, cushions, etc. I do the sit on your bum part but haven't provided a jumping place yet. Nate's also a banger where he likes to bang any toy on the furniture or TV, etc. so I do the same thing and show him where he can bang. He seems to get it most of the time anyway. The point is instead of always saying no, provide an alternate choice that you can both live with.

Nate's now into throwing himself on the floor and crying when he doesn't get what he wants. It's frustrating but the way I deal with it is to ignore him while he's crying and when he stops, continue on like nothing happened. I figure if I give him any kind of attention when he's doing it, he'll just continue on. He's really a great kid overall and we're sooooo lucky!

Kimmo

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 11:06 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Gee, Rowan has just started throwing himself on the floor and crying when *he* doesn't get what he wants! It all of a sudden just started last week. I thought it was illness-related last week, but now I see that he is just "hitting his stride".

Danzdol

Friday, November 28, 2003 - 09:56 am EditMoveDeleteIP
No guys, we are officially getting closer to the terrific 2's so, hold on tight!!!!!!!!!

Dylan has been having tiny tantrums too and I ignore it as well or speak in a very calm voice and look him straight in the eye while I do it and he's screaming at the top of his lungs!

Here is the Halloween pic, it's late I know but I just got them developed!

a

Enbwife

Monday, December 01, 2003 - 09:52 am EditMoveDeleteIP
He's so cute. So photogenic - like his mom. :)

Kimmo

Friday, December 05, 2003 - 08:21 am EditMoveDeleteIP
The Superman costume is so cute-- They all are! Rowan has Superman jammies (shorts and T), but since they're a poly blend we hardly ever put them on. But they were so cute :)

I have a sort of problem....When we take Rowan into daycare in the mornings, there are two 4-year old girls who, if they are there, always stop and talk to me, etc, then want to hug Rowan, help with his jacket, etc. Rowan seems to hate the fact that they talk to me and tells them to "Go away!" He threw a big fit this week at one of the girls. I felt bad for the girl and Rowan. I told her, "Rowan just wants to me to take his jacket off now. Thanks for helping!" I told Rowan, "It's not nice to yell, it hurts feelings." But I don't think I did enough to make either of them feel better or prevent this in the future.

I dread going there for fear that the girls will be there. Well-- Maybe that's exaggerating, but I am always relieved when they aren't there. Rowan is just going to be 2 this month. I'm sure he is acting "age appropriate" and I understand being proprietary about Mommy....But I wonder if I can do anything about the girls. I know they aren't doing anything wrong but I don't want to hurt their feelings by ignoring them.

Wargod

Friday, December 05, 2003 - 10:36 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Can you talk to the person in charge? Maybe she can keep the girls occupied while you're coming in and getting Rowan settled?

Kimmo

Friday, December 05, 2003 - 12:24 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I have thought about that, but they always seem so busy (obviously I am a total wimp). There are usually 3 people in the mornings, with the manager, and it's free play time so everyone is running around after the toddlers.

I wonder if them turning attention to the girls would make them feel weird. Probably not, they are obviously wanting attention! Thanks, Wargod.

Do you think I should address the girls, though? I feel like I started this problem because I accepted them coming over and talking, etc.

Wargod

Friday, December 05, 2003 - 12:53 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I'm at the other side of this problem. I have a 5 year old daughter and a 4 year old neice, and a brand spanking new neice (3 weeks old.) My sister and I joke that its the mommy instinct coming out in them, lol. As soon as the baby so much as wiggles a toe both girls are hoovering over her, and when anyone is holding, feeding, or changing her they are right there. One of the things we've been trying to encourage with them is to let us do what we need to do with the baby, and as soon as she's settled they can come and sit with us or hold the baby with help. It's just that they're so curious and concerned with looking after the baby that they don't realize sometimes they're in the way. In a weird way, its kind of interesting to watch. At 4 and 5 they've pretty much outgrown that stage where the whole world revolves around them and when they see a younger child upset they become protective and compassionate and want to do what they can to help make things better.

Maybe you can explain to the girls that Rowan wants to have a little time with you before you leave and that once he's settled they can help him to find a favorite toy or book? That he's not a big kid like them and that he isn't too happy having you leave and it'd be easier for him if they wait a few minutes before trying to help him. Then if you notice after a couple days that nothing has changed and Rowan is still getting upset around them, let the women know whats going on. If nothing else, maybe they can direct the girls attention to something else while you're dropping him off.

Enbwife

Sunday, December 07, 2003 - 04:57 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
I like Wargod's approach about trying to talk to the girls, maybe without Rowan around. Perhaps they'll understand if you say it in a way that makes them feel that you really appreciate their help but Rowan feels overwhelmed.

We've had a very rough week. Poor Nate had a fever and was so tired and cranky. He actually crawled onto his nanny's lap during playgroup (very loud and busy) and fell asleep!! I took him to the Dr. and he has a double ear infection - ouch! Poor thing - so he's on antibiotics again and is feeling better today but still cranky.

Here's our Christmas photo this year that we sent out to the family...

photo

Julieboo

Monday, December 08, 2003 - 08:10 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Ear tubes! Ear tubes! I cannot recommend them enough. No more antibiotics, no more pain. About a ten minute procedure (in and out of the hospital in a morning). Best thing I ever did for Ryan. I just wish I hadn't waited so long. He was ten months when he got them. He has not been sick since!

Kimmo

Monday, December 08, 2003 - 12:28 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Thanks for the continuing advice! I'm trying to make the transition quicker at daycare from now on. It seems like the longer we are there, the harder it is to leave. :(

Ear infections are awful! It's so horrible when you find out at the doctor. One time we took Rowan for a checkup, after I noticed discharge in the eyes (the red flag for sinus infection). The doctor said his ears looked completely blown out as if he'd had the ear infection for weeks. He hadn't acted as if he were in pain or anything until the eye discharge that made me think he had anything other than a normal cold.

I've heard from various sources that when the tonsils are removed, no more ear infections-- I guess that would be the extreme solution to recurring ear infections! A factoid with no strings attached whatsoever. :)

Wargod

Monday, December 08, 2003 - 01:11 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Oh, Kimmo, don't you just hate those suprise sickness'. Caleb was in kindergarten, he had been fine in the days leading up to this, no fever, no complaints, not feeling bad at all, then one morning he woke up screaming in pain and burning up. Off to the doctor we went, and it was so bad that Dr. couldn't get near Caleb's ear without us holding him down, and then he just stuck the thing right at the edge of the ear to look, and sure enough, his ear drum was blown out.

Ear infections are horrible, probably one of the worst everyday illnesses kids go through. I have hearing loss in both ears due to constant ear infections when I was a child. So if you have the chance to get the tubes put in, do it! We've been lucky in that the kids don't suffer alot of ear infections, but I have a freind who's daughter was going through the same thing I did. When she was just about 2 years old, they had tubes put in her ears, and now 4 years later, she hasn't had a single ear infection.

Kimmo, I know this will sound incredibly mean (I've been there) but give him a hug and kiss, tell him you love him, assure him he will be alright and you'll be back to get him later....and run!! Our son was so easy with preschool, he loved going, loved his friends, loved playing and learning. We couldn't figure out why parents had such a hard time with their kids going. Until Dakota was 2 and went to preschool. The first day, you'd have thought we were killing her. Her howls could be heard out at the street. After the first day, it was dad's job to take her to school. For the first week, he hovered outside the class door. She'd start crying, he'd run in to comfort her. Finally he mentioned to me it was taking him a couple hours to leave her, because everytime she cried he ran in. (He also told me I was mean for making him leave his little girl there, LOL.) After that though, he did the drop and run, would spend a couple minutes getting her settled, then he'd hand her over to her teacher, go out and get in the car and leave.

Rowans right at that stage where he's suffering seperation anxiety. It's hard now, but it will get better. Also, don't let it suprise you if you go months with him being fine to be dropped off, then suddenly he grabs onto your leg and won't let go.

Danzdol

Monday, December 08, 2003 - 08:53 pm EditMoveDeleteIP
Kimmo, you can also tell the girls in a calm and polite voice that you need mommy time before you drop off Rowan. Tell them that you need 5 minutes with Rowan and that they can play with him after. Then if they do it again the next day you just remind them by just mouthing the words "5 minutes" if you see them approaching and maybe with this repeated approach they will back off and get the hint! :)

Danzdol

Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 08:28 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Speaking off........separation anxiety.

I just went this morning to try this 2 week pass at a gym with a daycare. I was excited and scared of leaving Dylan.

WEll, it was a complete disaster!

I got there, registered and dropped him off and he was happy. He ran away from me , totally ignored me and started playing. I must have been there for 5 minutes and he did not even look for me. I Walked to the aerobics room and waited for the instructore to be ready. Once she was about to start the class I got this feeling that I needed to go check up on him. Sure enough, when I got there he was screaming at the top of his lungs by the door. His face all red full of tears.
So , of course, mature me, I start crying too!

I was so embarrased! I cried because I am so attached to him too and I have never left him with a stranger before.

I guess it will be a while before I set foot in another gym again!

We had been planning to start him in daycare next june part-time. I can already tell it's going to be very very tough for him.(and me) oh boy!!!!!! I am such a wuss.........

Wargod

Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 09:27 am EditMoveDeleteIP
Danz, can you stay and observe the daycare center for awhile? Maybe if you see what they do with the children and how they treat them, you'll be ok with leaving him? Just like it's going to take him awhile to get used to going to daycare, it'll take you awhile too.

Enbwife

Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 10:50 am EditMoveDeleteIP
I agree Wargod. He needs to get used to being apart from you very gradually so that it's not too much all at once. 1 hour stints at a time with a big reassurance that you'll be back soon and lots of attention when you return will gradually accustom him to being without you. Luckily Nate did very well without me and then daycare but I had left him here and there with Neil and my parents in his first year so he was sort of used to it.

Nate's getting much better with the antibiotics but he's really acting up around me. The nanny says he's great for her - happy and napping and eating well. But when I get him home at night he's cranky, cries for no reason, hangs off my leg, cries at bedtime... it's so upsetting because it just started and he's been doing so well since September. I'm hoping it will go away once he's completely better. Why is he so happy for everyone else except me???