Archive through May 16, 2003
TV ClubHouse: Archive: 2003 May:
New Parents to be........Tips and advice for us (ARCHIVES):
Archive through May 16, 2003
Karuuna | Saturday, May 03, 2003 - 12:59 pm     Danzdol - developmentally, stranger anxiety begins at about 9 or 10 months of age. My best guess is that his anxiety increased at that point. Add teething pain to that, and it's a lot of discomfort for a little one to handle. Some folks advocate the tough it out approach. It does work quickly, but it's several nights of pure misery to get there, and I'm personally not convinced that it's the best way to go. For my son, a more staged approach worked best. If you don't want him sleeping in your room, I wouldn't do that at all any more. The key thing is to be consistent, and thus predictable. If one time you do one thing, and then another you do another thing, it will increase his anxiety since he cannot predict what will happen the next time. You might want to figure out your goal, and then figure out a series of small, but attainable steps to get there. At first it may be going back to rocking him to sleep and then putting him in his crib. Then it may be rocking him till he's "almost" asleep, then putting him down. Then it's putting him in his crib and sitting and patting his back until he goes to sleep. Then putting him in his crib and sitting by the door, etc. Make each step small, and always be reassuring and extremely patient. I know that's hard when you're not getting the rest you need, but within a few weeks or so, he'll be back to sleeping on his own again. Above all, the key thing is to get as much feedback as you can from other people, and then do what works best for you and your child. There are experts all along the spectrum who advocate everything from letting him sleep with you and dad, to those who say let him cry till he falls asleep exhausted. So, no matter what you do, you can be assured you have an expert opinion to back you up.  |
Zachsmom | Saturday, May 03, 2003 - 03:10 pm     I agree with Kar..small "baby" steps work best and lessens the anxiety. Separation anxiety starts around that age so that's why he's okay when in bed with you and dad. I don't like cry it out method..I couldn't stand to hear my son cry and know that picking him up and comforting him would ease his anxiety and not do it. That's just me though and it's what worked best for my son and I. Use and trust your gut instincts. You above all else know your son best..get advice and use the method that you and your son are most comfortable with. |
Danzdol | Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 04:49 pm     I know it, my husband and I both HATE the crying method. I took him to the doc yesterday to rile out any sickness. He said that is was pure stubborness because he is a lot smarter now to know what he likes best and that is daddy and specially mommy. He was a huge advocate of the cold turkey let him cry approach. I cannot do that sooo I started a new routine tonight....... I am not putting him down for his morning nap, instead he is so tired right before his afternoon nap that he now takes it earlier (combined)and has lunch after. Then I bathed him at 6pm, dinner , Barney tape and I took him to his room, carried him until he fell asleep (On the chair we have in his room)and put him on his crib. It's been 15 minutes......who knows what the night has in store for us!!!!!!!! |
Sia | Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 08:28 pm      |
Sia | Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 08:29 pm     Danzdol, I know it's frustrating to have had a "good sleeper" for so many months and then have him change the rules on you! Separation anxiety at Dylan's age is totally normal; all babies I've known go through it. Sounds like you're doing the right things. I'm sure you feel guilty letting him cry, because I know I sure did, but you will work out a routine. Your sleep will be disrupted for a while, and that will be hard on you, so try and make sure that you get adequate rest yourself. I used music with my babies, and it seemed to distract them and make them much less fussy. I would slowly dance with my son in my arms to music on a CD in his room and then lay him in his crib with the lights at whatever level they'd been at when we were in there together. As he got sleepy, I'd reach around the corner and turn down the dimmer switch gradually! He also liked the lights-and-sound screen that lit up like a moving Lite-Brite. I prefer music CDs because of the variety in music and the fact that you can use the "repeat" button! I sang my son's favorite song to him every night. Oh, what memories that brings back.
<== THEN <== NOW |
Enbwife | Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 05:45 pm     Aunt Froggie - how's the little guy now? Was it thrush? I had thrush on my nipples and was treated with a purple dye called gentian violet. Nathan didn't have it in his mouth but apparently babies with thrush can be treated with this and it works wonders. The antibiotic the Dr. gave me first didn't work at all! Danz - I'm pretty opinionated about sleep as you may know. I also can relate to a great little sleeper suddenly deciding he doesn't want to sleep anymore. Sounds like you've got the nap thing figured out. I've read many babies want to give up their morning nap first. Nate was screaming his head off for his first nap so I now keep him awake longer (hard some days because he's so fussy), then put him down when he's really, really tired and that works well. As far as night-time sleep goes.... Nate slept with us for the first 4 1/2 months and then we decided he needed to sleep on his own and you know, he's never slept better since then. The first night he slept through the night with no nursing for the first time ever. We believe in the cry it out approach, even though it's the hardest thing we've ever done, but we did go in every 5-10 minutes to pat his back and let him know we were still there. I've read endless books on this subject, but I learned the most from friends of ours. Karuuna is absolutely right in saying that consistency is the most important thing. Our friends were so inconsistent with their first boy, that they still had sleep issues when he was 3 years old!!! The What to Expect in the First Year book talks about separation anxiety and that it is normal for babies to decide they don't want to go in their crib around this age, especially once they become mobile as is the case in our home. They say that if you know your baby needs to sleep, and you're consistent and firm, it will pass soon enough. But if you start getting the baby up to play in the night, or bringing him to bed, it will be harder for the baby to get back in to their good habits. I believe this personally. When Nate wakes up in the night crying, we go in right away, lay him back down and sing and rub his back until he is calm, then leave. He has learned to go to sleep without us rocking him or me nursing him, which is the only way he would sleep in his first 5 months. All I know is that Nate sleeps so much better in his crib alone, and is such a happy guy and so sociable and loveable, and I believe this is because he gets good, uninterrupted sleep. Just my 2 cents. |
Froggiegirl621 | Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 06:28 pm     Enbwife - Yes, it was thrush. He also has two infected toes from in-grown nails. So the little guy is on two meds now. The thrush is pretty much gone now, and the toes are healing nicely. Other than having to take that yucky medicine, he's doing great!!! His baptism is on Saturday and the little christening outfit we got him is too cute! I'll have to post a pic after I get them downloaded. Thanks for your concern and kind words, all you guys are the best! |
Lizadee | Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 01:49 pm     I'm not sure where to put this so I am going to put it here To a Special Mom For a special Mom If you send this to just one person, it should make it all the way around the world by Mother's Day in May. This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here." when they keep crying and won't stop... This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse. For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T. This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes. This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football or soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars,so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" the! y could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the World," and mean it. This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet like a tired 2-year old who wants ice cream before dinner. This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year.And then read it again. "Just one more time." This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead. This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot. This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls " Mom ?" in a crowd, even though they know their own off spring are at home... This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up right away. This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed--when their 14 year olds dye their hair green. What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? For all the mothers of the victims of all these school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely. This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children's graves. This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. So hang in there. Please pass along to all the Moms in your life. "Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall." Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know. I JUST DID! |
Enbwife | Friday, May 09, 2003 - 08:32 am     Ahhhh, that is so sweet! Brought a tear to my eye. Thanks! |
Froggiegirl621 | Sunday, May 11, 2003 - 04:52 pm     I haven't gotten the pics from Tyler's christening downloaded yet, but for now I'm going to post a pic of him with a big smile on his face. It took us probably an hour of making faces at him to be able to catch it with the camera! But now he's a smiling machine...can't wait til he starts laughing!
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Ophiliasgrandma | Sunday, May 11, 2003 - 05:02 pm     Now I ask you, how cute is that! |
Danzdol | Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 10:56 am     Very very cute Ophi! I want to see more. Everyone, post more updates! ENB: Well We got DYlan through the first stage of "sleep in my arms on the chair" and sleep through the night afterwards. Yesterday we started the" sleep directly in the crib, on your own", it was tough but not as tough as the first night last week. He held on to the rail for dear life and even fell asleep standing up holding on to the rail, it was so funny. I heard silence but saw him standing in the tv monitor. When we walked in, there he was, so cute holding on.I think he doesn't know how to sit from it yet so he stays standing. Once we master that then I will move to do the same in his 3pm nap. He now cries in that one too. It's just hard to do it that first night and maybe 1 or 2 more. It's heart breaking but I do believe now that it's for the best. I always feel like he wil hate me in the morning but instead he gets so happy whan I walk in the room! THanks to all for the advice! |
Danzdol | Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 11:27 am     Also, Happy Belated Mother's Day to everyone. I am going to post a pic of Dylan and his little cousin Aila. This is funny, they were on the ground and she stole his pacifier and decided to start sucking it even though it was still attached to his overalls. He was clueless and so happy to just be there posing for pics!!!!!!
Dylan & Mommy (22) |
Bananaclip | Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 09:22 am     Froggiegirl, that is the cutest picture! Danz, I love the pic of you and Dylan, he's so handsome and you look beautiful!
Hangin' out
Caden and his bikini babe, Ashanti |
Denecee | Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 11:06 am     great pics everybody! |
Bananaclip | Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 12:17 pm     I forgot to add Caden is 10 months old today. Time flies! |
Yuhuru | Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 07:37 pm     What cute babies !!!! One of these days I'll have to post a picture of my lil' angel. Hi Bananaclip!!!! |
Bananaclip | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 02:10 am     Hi Yuhuru! I was just thinking about you yesterday! How are you doing? |
Admin | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 08:59 am     Glad to hear it's going better with sleep Danz. Nate's fallen into a great schedule the past week sleeping 1.5 hr in the a.m. and 1/2 hour in the p.m. then 11.5 hr at night. It's good because I can go out in the afternoon for 3-4 hours with a happy baby! Here's a pic of Nate with his cousin Ava who's 1 day older than him.
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Enbwife | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 09:02 am     oops - I posted under Neil insead of me - sorry Neil... |
Bananaclip | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 10:59 am     Enb, I love that picture, so pretty! She is a tiny little thing, or is it just the strollers making her appear that way? Nate looks very cool with his hat on backwards and his leather jacket! |
Kimmo | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 02:09 pm     Happy belated Mother's Day to moms, aunts, and others! I was just wondering, what time do you all put your babes to bed (and what are their respective ages)? Mine is Rowan, 16 months and currently going to bed right around 9 p.m. (he wakes up at 6:30 with a 2-3 hour nap in the late a.m.). I'd put a picture up of my beautiful boy, but I can't do it for some reason...Help! |
Kimmo | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 02:19 pm     Okay, let me try again...
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Twiggyish | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 03:17 pm     My daughter is 9 years old and goes to bed around 9:00. (She's almost 10) BUT, she's always had an earlier bed time (around 8:00) in the past. She just needs more sleep. I think it depends on the child, too. Unless you work, the bedtime is up to you until he starts school. He sure is adorable! |
Julieboo | Friday, May 16, 2003 - 05:06 pm     Jeeze, my three year old won't sleep before 10pm. (occassionally he will go to sleep at 8 or 9, but that is rare). He's up at 7:30 like clockwork! No naps either and he has the energy of the Energizer Bunny. |
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