Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Saturday, August 3, 2002
TV ClubHouse: Archive: USA 2002:
Bunny's Live Feed Summaries:
Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Saturday, August 3, 2002
Bunny | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 10:47 pm     While waiting for Gerry to rise this morning, Bunny thinks she'll use the time to point out a few things to her readers. It's her duty as an objective reporter, you know. First, Gerry isn't the only one who forgets to wash his hands and Josh isn't the only one who stinks up the place with bombs from the backside. The Lovely Lisa walks right past that sink many a time, ignoring the Call of the Wash. And Roddy toots his horn-y bottom on many an occasion. Then there's the snoring. At least Gerry brought a machine to Bring Down the Noise, even if he's still Bringing Up the Funk. Eric is snoring sans machine, not to mention that he throws in a nightly monologue. And we can't forget about Danielle's teeth grinding. Music to one's ears, n'est-ce pas? I have to butt in here that it's a bit hypocritical to talk about Gerry's germs when Lisa rubs ointment on her boil every night and then continues in conversation as if her hands aren't stanky. Boil cream is stanky, rubbing your butt is stanky, and not washing is Stanky as Stanky gets. Don't make my blood boil, Lisa. I'm out of cream. Okay, what else? Oh, yes, Jason - quit biting your fingernails. It's unbecoming of a Christian. Chiara, quit spreading your legs. It's unbecoming period. Gerry's up now, donning his "If you can read this, thank a teacher" shirt. I would like to take a moment to do that. Bunny thanks Miss Cartwright at Best Buy for teaching her all about the internet and how to get live feeds and spy on people. She would also like to thank Billy Bob Thornton and Angelie Jolie for teaching her not to exchange vials of blood with a spouse because you'll never get it back if you break up. Marcellas is up and makes a comment about the camera zooming in on his morning soldier for the internet eyes to see. Roddy says the internet people are mutant freaks, or something like that, and this sets Bunny to giggling. This is because it occurs to her that Roddy thinks he's NOT a mutant freak, even though he's the one who prances around naked on camera, carouses in bed live and in living color with a woman he's just met, and manipulates the feelings of people in order to win a piddley few thou. Not to mention all that farting he does. Who can argue there's nothing more mutant than public flatulence? Except perhaps wearing the same pair of pants 23 days in a row - or is it 24? We know now that Eric and Lisa are up for eviction. This is sad, because Bunny is starting to like Eric since he told Lisa "hi" during a make-out session. That was Lisa's dream, you see. She was hoping to find a man someday who would stop in the middle of what he was doing and tell her hello. ("You had me at 'yo.') So you see, Bunny wasn't aware that Eric was so intuitive. This makes him "hotter," no firefighter pun intended. Besides, who else is Bunny going to fawn over? Jason is saving himself for Britney Spears. And the rest of the male crew have sanitation issues. Today is Veto Power Day, and the results are in. The winner is Chiara. Eric is apprehensive about this turn of events and begins to talk to Lisa about possible scenarios. "Should I talk to Gerry? Should Chiara veto you and hope Gerry will put up Josh? Should we go in a group and make him an offer? Should we...?" Lisa says, "Hmm..I wonder if I'm going to have a scar on my rear end." Chiara takes her place at Roddy's feet and asks him what she should do about the veto. He says, "Think for yourself, why don'tcha?" No, I'm sorry, that was me that said that. They discuss telling Gerry that she's going to veto Lisa and they want him to put up Josh. They are just dying to give him the old booty slap out the door. But Roddy says he thinks Gerry has made a deal with Josh and, therefore, won't nominate him. Enter Danielle, the game's newest Waldo (shall I call her Waldette?), and Chiara asks her about her conversation with Gerry. Dani says that Gerry nominated Eric and Lisa to save himself because he felt they were after him. No, Ger, you're thinking of those little green men on Twilight Zone, remember? Chiara tells Danielle that she can't use the veto to save Lisa because Gerry might replace her with Roddy. Chiara is conveniently forgetting that Roddy told her just last night about his deal with Gerry. So Bunny is scratching her head on this one. You're saved, Roddy's saved, Lisa's saved. Who else are you worried about? Oh, I get it. You don't WANT to save Lisa. I almost forgot about all those "Who's prettiest - me or Lisa?" talks. And, oh, yes, I forgot that you also said you think that if there are only two females left in the house, not counting Miss Lizard, you have a better chance of staying. You know, Keek, smart girls would be banding together trying not to let the boys pick them off one by one. I mean, maybe you didn't notice that there's been a pattern with the evictions? It's not that I want to accuse you of being smart or anything, but the last girl standing isn't necessarily crowned Queen. Roddy lies to Chiara and tells her the issue of Boys vs. Girls never came up. Shame, shame. Next thing you know he'll be saying he doesn't want to kiss her because his parents might not like it. Oh, wait. Josh enters the room and the strategizing comes to a halt. He begins telling tales of his prowess in college. "I made the rounds through all the sorority houses." Which one? Kappa Kappa Desperate? Josh is campaigning for Danielle to win the America's Choice letter from her family. Good on you, Josh, as they say in England. All the other HGs join Josh in begging the mutant freak internet watchers to vote for Gerry or Danielle because they have children. I was thinking about voting for Chiara but then I realized that the U.S. Postal Service won't pick up mail from a brothel. (Hey, she called HERSELF a you-know-what. I'm just running with it.) The cameras zoom in on Gerry crying in the HOH. He just received news that his membership in the William Shatner Fan Club has been canceled for non-payment of dues. No, excuse me, I'm wrong. It was just the thought of receiving something from home that reduced him to tears. Something from Gerry's Kids. Call the BB telethon now and pledge your support. Eric says he's not going to play chess with Gerry anymore. Nana nana boo boo, I won't play with you. Roddy tells Lisa and Eric, "I talked to Gerry and he said Josh is safe. He's not going up. Gerry thinks it's key to have Josh here to win this game." Roddy says that if Chiara uses the veto, Jason will go up and Eric will lose. So will Bunny. Mostly she'll lose sleep worrying about Jason's head on the block. And she hates to use up prayers on a game show contestant when there are people starving in the world. But she'll also lose if Eric goes up because of the whole beefcake thing. And she would like for Lisa to stay because Bunny believes in Boil Power. Sorry, make that Goil Power. Eric says he's feeling simply awful about losing the HOH competition. That question about the total height of the HGs really stumped him. I don't know, E. I think you were right on target with your estimate. That is, if you were living in a house with Shaq, Stretch Armstrong, and the world's tallest oak tree. Eric puts on his safari headgear and heads for Gerry's jungle to plead for a change in the game. I guess the hat gives him Tarzan strength, because he fights with all his might to get Gerry to agree to put up Josh if Chiara vetoes Lisa. Gerry says he doesn't want to put up Josh because (1) he made a deal with him, and (2) he's a-skeert. Yeah, you heard me. He's afraid Big Bad Josh is gonna get him. Forget the little green men, the Twilight Zone, every Star Trek one-eyed monster he's ever seen. Forget the villains of Shakespeare. It's the weasel who has him shaking in his shoes. Shoes with black socks at that. Eric says not to worry, bro, "cuz I've got your back." And if he can't protect Gerry by himself, he's sure CBS will bust through the wall to help save him. Attack of the Arnie, so to speak. Gerry says he'll think about it, and Eric gleefully spreads the word that Gerry may put up Josh if Lisa is vetoed. Roddy lets Eric know that he promised Josh his vote and would have to vote against Eric if this comes to pass. Lisa doesn't understand this. Where's your loyalty to the Guys in the White Hats? Or at least the Guys in the Floppy Safari Gear? In another room, we're privy to some strategizing from Jason. He tells Marcellas that if they don't break up the couples now, they may never get another chance. You go, boy. Tithe your two cents worth. Danielle and Gerry confer in the HOH room. Gerry says the others have had plenty of opportunities to get out Josh and passed them by. He believes he should put up Roddy if Chiara uses the veto. "My plan was to break up the couples, so I don't think I have a choice." Chiara and Roddy are in the hammock. Chiara says she thinks Eric will be voted out. She thinks it will be a tie vote, and Gerry will vote against Eric in a tie-breaker. Roddy disagrees. He thinks Gerry will kick Lisa's boily butt out the door. Marcellas and Eric are washing up for dinner and Eric gives Marcellas a compliment. "You look like that black model. You know the one I'm talking about?" Tyra Banks? Iman? No, Bunny, don't be silly. "Tyson Beckford," says Marcellas. And that will get you one vote, Eric. Chiara tells how she used to watch the movie "Cider House Rules" once a month just so she could have a good cry. But then she met Toby Maguire and he was rude, so that ruined the movie for her. Was he in his Spidey suit at the time? I'm thinking that tight full-body leotards would make anyone irritable. Josh and Eric sit down for a game of chess. Eric tells Josh that he knows Gerry has made a deal with him and "Gerry has vowed to keep his word." Josh: "Yeah, but he doesn't know I'm f'in going to throw HOH so I don't have to deal with it. Let someone else get it and nominate him." What a guy. Josh bluntly asks Jason who he will put up if he's HOH next week. Jason diplomatically replies that his opinion changes from week to week and "it depends on so many different things." Jase, if you don't win the 500 grand, maybe you can make a play for political office. I'd sure vote for you. And if that doesn't interest you, Bunny will pay you just to run her errands. Hoppy trails,
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