Does anyone else feel the need to "groom" their partners like these female houseguests do??
The ClubHouse: General Discussion Archives: Does anyone else feel the need to "groom" their partners like these female houseguests do??
Earthmother | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 11:34 am     and then they don't bug the hell out of you for being on the internet day and night...lol |
Sia | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 01:16 pm     What drives some people to tray and remove the imperfections from their skin is what I'd call a compulsion. It's hard to explain why you do something, but you just have to do it. In my case, it's like a mild case of OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). Sometimes I just can't leave something alone. I have a whole array of compulsions that I really can't explain, and when I attempt to tell anyone about them, I get the weirdest looks: I count, break things into syllables. . .um, let's see, what can I post without coming off as a wacko?. . .there's a constant soundtrack running in my head. . .when I get a new computer game, I'm compelled to play and play it in order to conquer new levels... My son is like me in this respect, and with HIM it drives me crazy! He'd rather play a game than come to the table and eat. When defending my own compulsions that drive me to stay up late playing a game and/or reading threads on the 'net, I just accept that this is part of me. My husband doesn't "submit" to my preening him without a tremendous struggle. Seeing how uncomfortable Chiara seems to make Roddy has made me re-evaluate my behavior. I will no longer DEMAND that he let me groom him; I will instead focus on my Dad, who just loves the attention! My kids have grown up expecting to receive grooming behavior from me, so they are far less resistant.  |
Wcv63 | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 01:25 pm     I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I just can't pop someone elses' zits. Can't do it. My husband has asked me to "groom him" on occassion and nope. Not gonna happen. Sorry. My teeth start to hurt and my hands get all dry and papery just thinking about it. I guess you could say it is a minor phobia of mine. |
Oregonfire | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 01:42 pm     My mother's thing was my fingernails. She would grab them and start pushing back the cuticles with her long fingernails and clipping the edges. I hated it. I think the last time she tried it was in my early 20s and I was like "back off!" |
Earthmother | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 01:56 pm     lmao Oregonfire...just picturing it.. |
Bbwatcher | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 04:48 pm     This thread is sooo funny - but!!!! I'd like to get back to the early-on comment about the grooming maybe indicating subservient behavior. I haven't noticed any of the guys grooming the girls. Has anyone else seen that happen? |
Kapow | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 05:03 pm     This IS a funny thread. I have not seen any of the guys giving the girls any grooming. However, I admit to being a groomer of my fella and he grooms me back. Maybe primal, maybe functional. We don't feel like it is supergross - more like, hey, you gotta zit on your back, want me to get it? It's not a big deal and we don't feel like we are disgusting or warped. I would not do it to anyone else. While I know it is kinda gross, it's not a compulsion/addiction/ etc. I don't constantly search myself or him for blemishes. It isn't subservient behavior or psychogenic excoriation. Just TCB in my opinion. |
Earthmother | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 05:09 pm     No Kapow, it's simple THE GUYS HAVE MORE DAMN SENSE THAN TO PICK THINGS OFF GALS ON NATIONAL TV CUZ IT LOOKS STUPID. You don't need a degree or fancy phobia to figure this one out....and we ask "Why can't a woman win this game?" |
Rain | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 05:21 pm     Grooming is done among many mammals. My cats groom each other. Its a social activity, I guess. But if I wanted to groom someone, I would rather brush or otherwise fool with their hair--I wouldn't choose to pop pus-filled pimples, unless its someone I really really cared about, and they begged me! lol |
Kapow | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 05:30 pm     Women aren't the only groomers. I agree that I would not groom on national tv, no need to do that with people I do not know. However,I felt like you were saying that men don't engage in this behavior. Men do it too. It is not a girl thing. That was my point in my first post on this thread. Sure it looks stupid on tv... but to act like it is a way crazy behavioral/psychological issue does not make sense to me. |
Earthmother | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 05:39 pm     well to fall in love, plan your wedding and name your kids with a guy you have known 3 weeks in the context of a gameshow where the prize is given to the last one standing, honey it doesn't make sense to me either but they do it. These are the women that women like myself and many others on these boards and in the world want to slap. They stereotypically act like moonstruck morons and live their lives based on emotions instead of intelligence. They give us a bad rap. |
Kapow | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 05:47 pm     Earthmother, I am not sure how the womens' immature behavior in terms of codependency has anything to do with "picking" on each other. Sure it is silly to plan a future with a man you met in the BB house. I too would like to slap Lisa and Chiara for their "trashy" behavior. I would much rather "pick" on someone than to parade around in peanut butter. The trashy behavior is what embarasses me much more than picking a zit or two. |
Earthmother | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 06:04 pm     Picking on each other's bodies in the privacy of your own home may be a primal instinct and I could care less what 2 consenting adults do. It does not mean they are in need of mental health. When it is done publically that is entirely a different subject. What I was saying is that I'm sure some men do it too, but these guys seem to have sense enough not to do it for all to see. I have also said a million times that their trash behavior is also something that should not be thrown out for the world to see or hear if they expect to retain any form of dignity. Others say don't judge them, however they have put themselves into a position to be judged. If they behaved better whether it be the grooming aspect or the sexual behavior then they would be judged in a positive way. They make excuses for their lack of cooth and I read daily posts that make excuses for them too. It just seems to be easier to blame it on a medical malady than to say they have bad manners. |
Sia | Saturday, August 03, 2002 - 08:26 pm     IF Eric and then Roddy get evicted from the BB house, do you think Lisa and Chiara would then begin grooming ONE ANOTHER? I haven't seen them picking at each other yet. Talk about uncouth!!! If the girls are left in the house alone, they'll be at each other's throats rather than at each other's zits!  |
Pamy | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 11:53 am     I say get the girls some bubble wrap, that will help with their popping addiction. Besides can anyone say they don't secretly love to pop those bubbles?
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Yuhuru | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 11:58 am     I hope they're only popping zits to inflict pain. Then I'm all for it. |
Eden | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 01:08 pm     I can understand grooming someone's back.. but their NOSE and CHIN!? Can't the girls just point that out to them and let them do that themselves? Why do the guys LET them? I agree with Earthmother (who happens to be hilarious), it's not something I want to see, with CLOSE-UPS no less! They should save it for when and if they become a REAL couple in the REAL world and spare us, the feed addicted, the sight! |
Zachsmom | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 01:12 pm     LOL.. yes Pamy...I love the bubble wrap..it's fun and a stress reliever.. |
Marymc | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 01:44 pm     i thought it may just be an immaturity thing, but then i remembered WAAAY back when i was in college there was this girl in my dorm that did that with her boyfriend....right in the lounge. i found it as disgusting then as i do now. i vowed i would NEVER feel THAT comfortable with another person (talk about the honeymoon being over!) and after a 15 year marriage i can attest that THAT kind of "grooming" is up there with seeing your beloved sitting on the toilet as an instant lust-squelcher. my ex used to leave the bathroom door open and even want to have major discussions while laying cable and thought i was a prude for finding that foul. in his NEW marriage, however, he has let me know that doors get closed and certain things remain private. (am glad i raised SOMEONE a good husband!) maybe these women will learn from the tapes of this show that their "hobby" will not win them a healthy relationship. it is completely interchangable with a national geographic explorer episode with jane goodall being the only missing character. |
Curlyq | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 02:13 pm     I have to ask. Laying cable? Is this a euphemism? |
Marymc | Sunday, August 04, 2002 - 03:34 pm     my ex's favorite...along with "dropping the kids at the pool".... |
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