Cures For Those Nasty BB Withdrawls...
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Cures For Those Nasty BB Withdrawls...
Trulyscrumtious | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 06:09 am     I came across this, found it funny, and thought I'd share... 1 - Take a full-size screenshot of the FOTH and set it as your wallpaper.. you'll hardly notice anything's changed. 2 - Go to lots and lots of family dinners - the bigger the family, the better. Borrow other people's families if you live alone. 3 - Become a regular in any chatroom on the internet (AOL member rooms are especially "homey"). 4 - Tape and watch (over and over) Survivor, Real World, Road Rules, The Osbournes, Anna Nicole, and every new reality show they wanna throw at us. It's ok to peek at Fear Factor and Dog Eat Dog every now and then for a break, but don't make a habit of it - all competitions and no interplay is a dead-end. Amazing Race is also ok in small doses cuz it's educmacational. 5 - Give your WORD for everything to everyone (telemarketers, spouses, bill collectors, bosses, in-laws, parole officers). 6 - Go about your life as if you're in the house. Plot, lie, scheme, backstab, borrow vocabulary from others, and above all be mostly boring most of the time. Spend all day from Friday to Wednesday thinking about who you're going to vote out of your life (and change your mind frequently). 7 - Proclaim yourself Head of Household and make your family members, roommates and pets squirm. Be sure to wear the bathrobe and headphones a lot. 8 - When in doubt, quote Lisa. 9 - When in trouble, stutter. 10 - Check out the 17 billion live webcams currently on the web in your spare time. When you find one you like start a website about it so you can rip it apart in front of others. (Warning: many people get sidetracked into porn obsessions this way but that's ok - perverts need hobbies too). 11 - Sprinkle your conversations with words like diabolical, scandalous, amazing, unbelievable, backstabber, packofjackals/nestofvipers, and call people the devil a lot (don't forget the finger-horns). 12 - Educate others about new vocabulary too - "he roddied her into agreeing with him," "that fothing idiot," "look at the tonyas on her," "don't go marcellas on me," "your daughter's acting a little kiki lately," etc. Encourage the addition of these new words to Webster's. 13 - Don't forget to frolic! 14 - Start a Julie Chen fan club. 15 - Write a Julie Chen cookbook (this is good for those days you just don't have much time). 16 - Write a peanut butter & jelly cookbook (but never refer to it as anything but pbj). 17 - Before you have drinks with anyone, find out what kind of drunk they are. If they're a Dani-drunk be sure to allow enough time. If they're an Amy-drunk be sure to allow enough time and remove nearby hammocks. If they're a Lisa-drunk be sure to bring somebody else along for company. Keep in mind Jason-drunks are best: your drinks will be paid for and you have a ride home! 18 - Give up the sexy clothes, overpriced cars and trendy clubs. When you really want to get laid just say "hi". 19 - Pick a random person in your life and spend 3 months badmouthing them to everyone who knows them. Then be their best friend. 20 - Chant every night before you go to sleep: "BB4 is just 9 months away.. 9 months away.. 9 months away.." It'll be here before you know it. If you need something to mark the time, get pregnant or impregnate someone. |
Itsallgood | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 06:14 am     LMAO I loved it Truly. Uhhhh, please, can I not watch Anna Nicole!!!!!! LOL |
Trulyscrumtious | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 07:43 am     I'm with you. I can feel my IQ dropping every time I am subjected to that woman, lol. The girl is just one big MESS!  |
Ocean_Islands | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 07:59 am     How about just a pint of ice cream? It's a lot simpler. |
Whit4you | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 09:09 am     That was fun thanks Truly |
Jimmer | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 09:57 am     Great post. Seriously, what are people doing with their time now? |
Scorpiomoon | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 10:20 am     This was HYSTERICAL! Thank you for sharing. |
Cmc209 | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 11:41 am     That was funny! Thanks for posting.... |
Turgon | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 11:43 am     i went way beyond that im in a state of denial., so i went searching for other big brothers still going on. the hard part was finding one in english hehe. |
Sia | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 09:32 pm     Truly, your post was truly scrumptious; very witty! I especially like the BB-vocabulary. |
Twinkie | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 10:05 pm     My husband is so happy BB3 is over. Dinner gets cooked now and the house is the cleanest its been in 3 months! |
Whit4you | Friday, September 27, 2002 - 10:08 pm     Turg - watch for the OZ BB it's great.. Lemme see if it starts the same time this year as it did the first year it should start in April? Or close to that... late march? early May? |
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