SONG PARODY - if you don't remember this song, you're too young!

The ClubHouse: Big Brother 2000: General - Archives: Songs, Poems and Lists: SONG PARODY - if you don't remember this song, you're too young!

Kahlua

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 11:59 am Click here to edit this post

For those of you who don't remember this song, I'm dating myself. The song is IF, by Bread.

If a phone call could say a thousand words
Than I will vote for you
And all the votes will show
How much we hate you so....

If you were not so scheming
than you might not have to go
But you moaned and you whined
Don't let the door hit your fat behind....

And when, Karen, Chen reads your name out loud
Then you must leave -
Go face the live audience crowd....

When they show you who voted
and you see it was Jamie,
I hope that you'll feel bad
For making Curtis feel so lousy...

When they show you how you acted
being b itchy, being mean -
Stabbing others in the back
Will you blame bad editing?

Oh, I can't wait to see the last of you -
Yes banishment day means Karen's gone away......

Zachsmom

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 01:18 pm Click here to edit this post

is the song "IF" or "Time in a bottle??"

Kahlua

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 01:32 pm Click here to edit this post

No, it's IF, by Bread. Although, I do love the song TIME IN A BOTTLE as well(hmm, future parody, perhaps?). IF is the slower one - here are the words (I think I remembered them properly)....

If a Picture paints a thousand words
Than why can't I paint you?
The words could never show,
the you I've come to know....

If a face could launch a thousand ships
than where am I to go
There's no one home but you -
You're all but left me too...

And when, my love, your life is running dry
You come and poor, yourself on me.....

If a man could be two places
at one time, I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today
beside you all the way....

And when, my love, the stars will all go out
Than you, and I
Will simply fly away.....

Zachsmom

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 01:35 pm Click here to edit this post

I love both those songs.. gosh my age is showing huh?? anyone who doesn't know the songs...you're right.. you 're too young.. and we hate you..;0)

Needmylifeback

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 03:40 pm Click here to edit this post

I loved "If" when I was a teen...so now you know what decade I'm in! Great parody... For time in a bottle...how about 10 in a house?????

Penguin

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 05:25 pm Click here to edit this post

"Dye In A Bottle", by Brittany
-------------------------------------
If I had some dye in a bottle
I'll tell you what I'd like to do...
I'd take all the curls off of my sweet Joshy's scalp,
And I'd turn Chicken George's hair blue...

(Okay, okay. Straightener isn't dye. But. :)

Wenko

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 05:47 pm Click here to edit this post

Woo-hoo! I'm finally too young to remember a song!

Sorry, I worked with teens for two years and was constantly reminded how old I was(especially since none of them were alive when Star Wars came out!)

Kahlua

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 07:28 pm Click here to edit this post

Dye In A BOttle! Love it - you should go with that, Penguin! Do a whole song! I'd read it - I love these parodies.

Penguin

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 07:50 pm Click here to edit this post

Maybe if I get some free time tomorrow I'll work one up, Kahlua. :)

Zachsmom

Monday, August 14, 2000 - 09:34 pm Click here to edit this post

LOVED the dye in a bottle..heehee..

Palladin

Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 08:16 am Click here to edit this post

"IF" came from the era (I remember it well) when you could play a jukebox for a nickel! Frank Sinatra also had a great recording of it.

Here's my challenge to you very creative folks. How about a parody of "Send In The Clowns"? Or perhaps for Karen, "You Don't Send Me Flowers Anymore".

Penguin

Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 11:55 am Click here to edit this post

Oh, Send In The Clowns is easy enough. This started out as a plea to the voting public (vote out the clowns) but got all dark and deep and stuff! *lol*

Who Are The Clowns
(with deepest apologies to Stephen Sondheim)
---------------------------

Isn't this fun, aren't they a bunch
Eight people locked in a house,
drunk on homemade punch
They're acting like clowns...

Isn't it sweet, don't you approve
Brittany wonders why Josh
Won't make the first move
She looks like a clown, a pink fuzzy clown

Just when we stopped drinking at night
Finally learning Big Brother is right
Doing what we're told to do with our usual groans
The rules have changed,
It's stopped feeling like home

Trusting CBS was our fault, we fear
We thought they'd care for our psyches...
"So sorry", we hear
But where are the clowns
They've stopped acting like clowns
Just real people with fear

Isn't it strange, isn't it weird
Losing our wishes to win this late in our time here
But who are the clowns
Julie Chen is the clown
We've killed her career

(It scans reasonably okay but you have to make sure that Brittany is triple-syllabled, not elided to brit-ney. I switched from third person to first person between the 2nd and 3rd verses, too, but didn't feel like fixing it. :) )

Ccc

Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 12:58 pm Click here to edit this post

Great stuff guys

Penquin - Never thought "Send in the Clowns" could make me laugh at the end. Thanks - I needed that.

Cause I just realized, too, that I remember 5 cent jukeboxes (and the same for a real bottle of coke).

Palladin

Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 01:13 pm Click here to edit this post

Penguin:
Thanks a million. Wish I could do stuff like that.
You made my day.

Kahlua

Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 09:03 pm Click here to edit this post

Oh, Karen, she is just frightful
She is mean, and she's so spiteful...
No matter how the voting goes -
She's a 'ho, she's a 'ho, she's a 'ho!

She just glares at Cass and Curtis
The houseguests think "When will she hurt us?"
They can't wait until Wednesday's show -
'Cuz out she'll go, out she'll go, out she'll go!

Just imagine her shocked surprise
When she learns it was Jamie did her in -
Will she ever realize
She never had a chance to win!

Oh -
Josh and Cass are still in the runnin'
'Cuz Karen, she had it coming -
The lesson here: don't ever blab,
Don't be a #itch, complain or backstab!

Kahlua

Friday, August 11, 2000 - 09:42 pm Click here to edit this post

Apologies to the Beatles

MAKING KAREN SCREAM

As we watch her on the tube
We have to hate her...she is so rude...
So we chortle with glee
When she becomes a banish-eee....

Chorus: We all want to watch Karen go beserk
She's acting like a jerk
She's got that stupid smirk....
We all want to see Karen go insane...
Her ramblings are inane....
Let the other guests remain....

As she sucks back nicotine
She mopes and whines, she is obscene.
She ••••••• and she cries...
She shoots pure evil from her eyes...

We all want to see Karen go beserk...(repeat chorus and fade....)

Fishhead

Friday, August 11, 2000 - 10:36 pm Click here to edit this post

May I add a new chorus?

She is giving George the evil eye
And she's blaming the wrong guy -
When she's voted out she'll cry!
Curtis better stay out of her way -
She may kill him one day
For what he DIDN'T say!

When you're voted out next week
I hope counselling is what you'll seek
You have brought on your own doom
You belong in a padded room...

(back to chorus one or two...)

Grathblagg

Friday, August 11, 2000 - 10:55 pm Click here to edit this post

When she's banished -- as well she should,
She'll find her husband packing wood,
With a 'Ho in their wedding bed,
After taking offense at what she said.

<Chorus>

And her kids, they couldn't care,
They're through pulling out their hair.
One of them becomes a biker queen,
Convinced that "skank" is in her genes...

Kahlua

Wednesday, August 16, 2000 - 06:19 am Click here to edit this post

Okay. I realize I have a problem. I am turning into a parody machine. I can't listen to a song at all anymore without changing the words to reflect me pathetic obsession with BB! Yikes. I think I may be joining Karen at the psych. ward...

Anyway, here's another parody for you - to the tune of:
The PINA COLODA SONG

I was watching Big Brother
Like I usually do
Britt'ny was crying
George's hair was smurf blue
Eddie was sleeping
Cass was saying "um hmmm..."
Curtis was laughing -
Karen's glaring at him.

Jamie just sat there
With her sweet vacant grin
Poor Joshie just laid low
'Cuz he's in shet again...

Chourus:
If you like watching Big Brother
If you don't miss a show
If you visit the websties
Then you're a Big Brother 'ho
If you're not making love at midnight
'Cuz you're posting a thread
Then you're a Big Brother addict
And you'll soon be brain-dead....

Chaquita is barking,
The chickens, they cluck
Eddie's awake now
Saying "F@#k, F@#k, F@#k, F@#K!"
Karen is dying for just one cigarette
And Britt, she's still crying -
She hasn't stopped yet....

And here I sit watching
Living vicariously
Thinking they're all nuts
Thinking Karen's crazy -
Hoping Britt soon gets voted out -
Then the hairs crawl on my nape
I'm a Big Brother Addict!
Someone, help me escape!

(sax solo)

Chourus:
If you like watching Big Brother
If you don't miss a show
If you visit the websites
Then you're a Big Brother 'ho
If you're not making love at midnight
'Cuz you're posting a thread
Then you're a Big Brother addict
And you'll soon be brain-dead....

Kahlua

Thursday, August 17, 2000 - 06:52 am Click here to edit this post

Song parody to Bare Naked Ladies ONE WEEK


It's been six weeks since they went inside
10 perfect strangers and
no place to hide
Cameras and mics are everywhere
Recording them, placing them in the public glare
Just last night, Karen was voted out
It made me so happy
I thought that I would twist and shout!

Hold it now - who will the vote next?
I think that's Britt's next
Because she's looking like aquaman!
They can't eat fish, though it's delish
'Cus Cassandra is allergic
They don't like sushi
'Cause it's never touched a frying pan.
George has gone and got the blue hair
But he just don't care
There's something off about that man
Josh is glad that he is staying
and Britt is praying, that he'll be laying
her real soon
If he was smart he wouldn't do so
She's like a black hole
Sucking all the sense right out of him.
I am hoping Eddie's gonna break,
Give Josh a stinking, aching shake
That's a site I would savour!
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
Their paranoia's gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous
they all had to sign a waiver!

How can we help it if we think it's funny
and it's sad?
All I have to say is Jamie isn't that bad!
I am the kind that laughed at Karen's funeral
And you won't understand what I mean
Unless you watch the show.
I have a tendency to think this show
is perverse
I have a history - I watch it like an addict!

It's been six weeks since they first came in,
Now Mega and Jordan are gone
and so is Karen!
It was five shows since they voted for her
We hoped she'd have a meltdown live on the air
But Big Brother seemed to change the rules
Karen got to talk to Curtis
And she apologized
'Cuz he didn't vote for her
She told Jame 'I know you voted me
But I'm happy I'm out
And America loves me!'

"Cluckity-cluck" go all the chickens
If they had a deep fryer, they'd be finger-licking
Lying in the lovebed with no lights on
They're dans la maison
And Brittany's hair is infared!
Big Brother is there, he makes them frantic
They act like half-wits
Because they want to win the money

Hold it now - who will the vote next?
I think that's Britt's next
Because she's looking like aquaman!
George has gone and got the blue hair
But he just don't care
There's something off about that man
Josh is glad that he is staying
and Britt is praying, that he'll be laying
her real soon
I am hoping Eddie's gonna break,
Give Josh a stinking, aching shake
That's a site I would savour!
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
Their paranoia's gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous
they all had to sign a waiver!

How can we help it if we think it's funny
and it's sad?
All I have to say is Jamie isn't that bad!
I am the kind that laughed at Karen's funeral
And you won't understand what I mean
Unless you watch the show.
I have a tendency to think this show
is perverse
I have a history - I watch it like an addict!

It's been six weeks since they first went in
10 perfect strangers thinking each
of them is gonna win.
Six weeks they still have to go
And just you watch, the
paranoia's gonna grow
They will sit there in the living room
Banishment day will bring them
lot's of gloom and doom
It was yesterday
that I realized I really
want the chickens to take home the prize.

Steveinbc

Sunday, August 13, 2000 - 03:54 pm Click here to edit this post

George's Camp Song (to "Hello Mudda, Hello Faddah"


Hello children, hello mudder..
here I am at Camp Big Brudder
Camp life here is like, soooo not cool…
I tease the kids with farting noises in the pool!

Did some baking, with a girl named Karen,
Eight whole pies for, the group to share in…
But did they like 'em? I have my doubt…
They gagged and choked and belched and puked their brains out.

My best buddy, his name is Ed…
Has been spending, most days in bed..
And while old Ed is cool and funky..
Each night he plays a game called, 'Spank the Monkey'…

Cassandra's talking, I just adore her
She's our campground, Dr. Laura…
She makes sure things, don't corrupt us
Like last week a guy caught 'Curtis Interruptus'…

Oh, take me home, my luvva..
Take me home, I hate Big Brudda...
I'm soooo covered with ants and dye and dog hair and chicken poop…
Pleeeease take me home, I promise I will not make noise or crap up on the roof…

Wait a minute... the sun is beaming…
Josh quit sulking. Jamie's schemeing…
Brit's spooning Chicita... gee, that's bedda!
Children, Teressa, kindly disregard this letta!

Lzor

Wednesday, August 16, 2000 - 05:04 am Click here to edit this post

Thanks, Kahlua! I totally don't know what's up with that. Everytime I try to start a new thread, it disappears when I try to post it! Anyway, here's my silly little song, sung to the tune of American Pie...


A long long time ago,
I remember how Josh used to smile.
And I knew that if he tried
he could eat a bunch of pies
Then maybe karen would shut up for awhile...
But the pies they made him hurl
lucky puke didn't hit the girls
Bad news for his tummy,
the pies aren't even yummy
I can't remember if George clucked
when he knew that Josh was out of luck
Damn, those pies they really sucked
the day that Josh ate pies...

So bye bye nasty Big Brother pie
put the pie down in my tummy and my tummy said "why?"
I better not puke or Brittney will cry
Singing this'll be the day I eat pie
This'll be the day I eat pie

Did you kick that nasty pug
And when you look at Karen do you think Ug?
That's ok, so do all of us...
Did you go and shave your chest
And do you really like Jamie best
even with her great big chin?

Well I know that you just want a piece
cuz you've tried to hump the green haired beast
What could you be thinking?
Oh right, you were power drinking...
While Jordan just pontificates
Our little Britt she acts so chaste
Poor old Josh can't get a date
So instead, he'll eat some pie...