Archive through September 16, 2000

The ClubHouse: Big Brother 2000: General - Favorites: There Once was a... Big Brother Limericks: Archive through September 16, 2000

Glass

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 05:51 pm Click here to edit this post

This show's a compulsion but why?
Some hgs are conniving and sly.
Big Brother's a jailer,
they live in a trailer,
and they hope to stay in the public's eye?

Kahlua

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 07:34 pm Click here to edit this post

The TP Angels Mission was great
But Big Brother is filled with plain hate
BB won't give guests the paper
Sent in on this caper -
I guess the HG's hands are their fate!

* * * * *

Jamie, she is constipated.
Her discomfort just won't be dis'pated -
She must poop really soon
Or she'll be launched to the moon
by the force - then who'll be most hated?

(I like Jamie, but I couldn't resist! :) )

Puttergirl

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 07:58 pm Click here to edit this post

The Red Carpet Curtis got to walk down
Which sure did make Jamie frown
She wanted to go
Since, she's been low
She didn't get to have Melissa Rivers ask about her gown

Fishhead

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 08:03 pm Click here to edit this post

It ain't Dr. Seus - more like Dr. Soose - Not quite a limerick - but it rhymes:

Poor Jamie can't poop -
It's beneath her to stoop
and force out the goop -
into the toilet bowl: "GLOOP"
While George plays the dupe -
And poisons the soup,
He'll need time to regroup
with the chicks in the 'coop.
As Josh thinks of the troop
he sings Ally-Oop -
as Eddie bolts from the loop
and the plans of the group.

Curtis pulls out the scoop
At least Chiquita can poop!

(aside: for those of you not in the know, "GLOOP" is the sound shit makes when it hits the water in the toilet!)

Ccc

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 08:21 pm Click here to edit this post

Ode to Neil and us

There once was a show called Big Brother
In Europe they clawed at each other
But in the ole USA
With emotions at bay
The Big Brother Fan Club had to rescue 'er.

Puttergirl

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 08:24 pm Click here to edit this post

Jordan has left, now there are just eight
On everyone's nerves, Karen begins to grate
Nominated she was
Complain alot she does
But what could she expect after dissing her mate

Spot

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 09:02 pm Click here to edit this post

Once many Rice Kripies abound,
'Til Jamie put them on the ground
Where a dog named Pugita
(Who oft ate chicken shita)
Ate cereal she had just found.

When Curtis and Eddie did whoop
At the thought of Rice Krispies and poop,
Jamie cried "Your are mean!
These are perfectly clean!"
While wiping off tattle-tale poop.

Spot

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 09:05 pm Click here to edit this post

...Once many Rice Kripies abound...

Dang! That should have been "Krispies"...

Bigbroho

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 09:23 pm Click here to edit this post

To banish JaiME, I patiently wait
My part in deciding her fate.
She has diminished Big Brother
Screwed over her mother,
Having her gone will be incredibly great!

But dont thing that I am a hater
If she "goes" I think I might date her.
I'm sure she'll lean in
Wet her lips and she'll grin
We all know she's a master of baiters

And on to stardom she'll go
At a Kmart fall kids fashion show
She'll open some stores
At ball games, keep score
Her fame will end before the first snow.

Next year we'll find she is trying
To explain away all that nasty sad lying,
She'll ask for Julie Chen's job
Offer "favors" to Bob
In the end, we know she'll be crying.

So forget Jamie's all about "me"
And that she burps, poops and obviously pees.
She thinks we don't know her
And how can we show her?
When you give first, you get, yes you'll see.

Bookwoman

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 09:39 pm Click here to edit this post

I have not laughed so hard in a long, long time. And over bathroom humor to boot. How do I explain to my 12 year old why I'm laughing so hard. Just the kind of thing he gets in trouble for

Glass

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 09:39 pm Click here to edit this post

BB II?

For the rules to be followed to the letter,
outside contact must be totally banned.
To the monitor I'll be glued,
the next one better have nudes,
for I won't watch again til it's better.

Bookwoman

Friday, September 15, 2000 - 10:38 pm Click here to edit this post

For everyone that hasn't seen Bbrocks post 9/15 at about 9am, you have got to. They should play it on the show or do a flash movie of it.

Dulci

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 01:01 pm Click here to edit this post

The Studio Execs were at a loss--
just what was it could they tell their boss?
They felt under duress
getting panned by the press
what to do? Blame the casting of course!

***********

The Media, it seems, hates our show.
Here's what I say, just what do they know?
I'd just like to bet
they have not checked the net
the FanClub is where they should go!

************

Our FanClub, it seems, is a hit.
When it loads slow, do I have a fit!
Thanx to Neil & the gang
we have someplace to hang
and they even let us type the word "shit".

Glass

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 01:16 pm Click here to edit this post

The princess and the pee (a cracked fable). Once there was a lovely princess who lived in a far away land on the west coast. One day she had to "make water". Alas, there was no toilet paper to be found in the entire kingdom. Boy was she pissed! The moral is "Don't cash checks your ass can't write (wipe with)". The End.

Glass

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 01:36 pm Click here to edit this post

The hgs are 1 girl and 4 guys,
well adjusted? and probably wise?
Until folks with bad manners,
started flying their banners,
now daily they stare at the skies.

Lindahntx

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 01:45 pm Click here to edit this post

Bookwoman: I hate to be a bother, but I have spent the last 45 minutes checking live feeds and trying to find the post you're talking about. Have any other clues to give me where to find it? Maybe I'm overlooking it, or something, I don't know, but please help!

Glass

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 01:50 pm Click here to edit this post

Lindahntx - here is a reprint of Bbrocks post:

{still a newbie here} Ok, I went to far and attempted a BB song sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies." Mind you, I haven't had much coffee so bare with me here. LOL

BIG BROTHER'S HILLBILLIES

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named Ed
A crude New Yorker plans to keep his family fed
An' then one day, he lookin at a cam,
He says "Teresa, I'm taking down your man.".
Chicken George, that is! Two-Faced! Crazy man!

Well, the first thing ya know, 'ole Ed's 1/2 a millionaire
Ed's folk said, "we're moving outta here."
Said away from power lines is the place we oughta be,
so they loaded up the limo, and they moved out in the country.
Hills there is! Swimmin' ponds, Evening stars!

Ol' Ed bought a mansion. But there was just one catch.
Next door neighbor is Survivors, Richard Hatch,
Ed's still a swearing, but Mr Hatch don't mind,
Said it coulda' been Chicken George, and we know "he's lost his mind."
Brains, that is! Chicken head. Bawkin' Man!

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Ed and all his kin
Big Brother would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin' in.
You're all invited back again to watch us on the feed,
Where Jamie's still a living, still hoping for a lead.
Role that is! Her own sitcom! Movie Star.
Y'all come back, here!

Ocean_Islands

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 03:05 pm Click here to edit this post

George is certainly dumb, it's true
I'd shut up if I were him, wouldn't you?
He likes to make bread
and snore in his bed
and he laughs like a hyena too!

Ocean_Islands

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 03:11 pm Click here to edit this post

Jaime-haters love to yell
What is it they want us to tell?
Is she too vain,
Or somehow a pain?
Or is she too pretty? Oh, hell!

Ocean_Islands

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 03:15 pm Click here to edit this post

Ed-hating flamers post on this board
But shouldn't they just be locked in a ward?
They seem a bit crazed
And certainly dazed
To think Eddie will win the whole hoard.

Ocean_Islands

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 03:23 pm Click here to edit this post

There's Curtis -- many love him but no, not all
He has his haters who jump to the call
They'll knock him right down
'Cause he went to town,
attended the Emmy's, and all!

Ocean_Islands

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 03:29 pm Click here to edit this post

Let's talk about those who are George-bait
Now they are really the top of all hate!
They go too far, outrageous, outright
They've even got themselves a site--
But all it does it make George lose more weight!

He won't give in, not now; not never
Don't know nuthin' now, don't know nuthin' ever
But you have to admit
He's making you shit
And he's starting to look pretty clever!

Lindahntx

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 03:54 pm Click here to edit this post

Thanks, Glass! It was good, and worth the effort.

Soweird

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 04:10 pm Click here to edit this post

Ed's crudeness tends to obscure
the fact that his motives are pure
I like him OK
(But not in a way
that's homosexual, that's fer shure!)

[With apologies to Rudy Boesch]

Kearie

Saturday, September 16, 2000 - 04:14 pm Click here to edit this post

these are all so great to read. wish I was so talented. :-)