Lack of empathy amongst houseguests
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Lack of empathy amongst houseguests
Snogrl | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 07:27 pm  A few minutes ago I came in on the conversation regarding tellling roommates something about yourself they didn't know. Eddie talked about his Uncle who died of aids 2 years ago (he said he had already told Josh and Curtis but not Jamie). Then he said .... "My Mom has skin cancer." Neither Josh, Curtis or Jamie responded. Jamie says "Yeah, I have a friend(?) who died of aids. Have had family members with cancer lately. No one asked Eddie about his mom. Jamie didn't say it was an immediate family member. But with Eddie saying it was his mom, I was surprised they didn't show any empathy towards that. |
Katie | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 07:37 pm  This was the daily challenge. That is why they were all listing things. Jamie said it was her best friend's family member. I think that a lot of young people don't know how to deal with things like cancer and such. I know that even a lot of older people don't. I think it is pity that people in general don't know how to talk about things like this. |
Snogrl | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 07:54 pm  Katie, Thank you for clearing this up. Since I came in midstream I couldn't believe they weren't asking Eddie any questions about his mom. |
Nance | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:15 pm  That really surprised me too....The hgs seemed sort of afraid to ask any questions about Eddie's mom. Katie I think you are so right in saying people don't know how to talk or even deal with issues such as this. I lost my 16 yer. old daughter on 10/31/97 and not even my family wants to talk about this None the less my friends,they act like I have the plague and they might catch it.Guess some think silence is better,or making comparisions. |
Katie | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:19 pm  ((((Nance)))) I am so sorry!!  |
Jimmer | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:28 pm  It's sad that people don't want to talk to someone about their loss as if by not mentioning it, the pain will go away. It's so much better if people can help others remember the good times and the good things so that they are not forgotten - remembering these special things makes the person's life worthwhile. |
Wendy | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:35 pm  You know, that's the one thing that has really bothered me about these people. Not only do they not show any empathy...or sympathy...or compassion for one another, they don't even seem to be curious about one another. Take Cass for example, they all knew she has done so many interesting things in her life, but I RARELY heard anyone actually ask her about her life--to elaborate or talk about her life. If she hadn't volunteered info we wouldn't have known anything about her. It just bugs me when people are like that; they'll talk non-stop about themselves and don't seem to give a rat's ass about anyone else. I think all the hgs are guilty of this. |
Novasea | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:44 pm  And Eddie ISN'T asking for the sympathy vote? IMO the reasons for them not saying anything are likely for the reasons given above, but may also be because it has been one bad thing after another from Eddie. They were likely stunned. They already likely know Eddie has the sympathy vote too. If I were a HG I'd be STUNNED into silence, not knowing what to do TOO. This get worse and worse and worse He's got a good lawyer (friend) there... maybe Eddie should drop that prejudice and start asking Curtis for some advice on the power line thing? (someone posted that the area Eddie lives in is NOT a low income. We are assuming a LOT on the need thing here.) |
Gubblebum | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:49 pm  okay for the last time hospital put liens on house cant sell stuck in area that makes them nervous if not ill i agree there is little empathy in house maybe generational |
Solos | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 09:57 pm  Jamie just told Eddie she needs the money too, as Eddie told her in a felt manner that he(Eddie) thought it would come down to him or Jamie being banished on Wed. Yet Eddie also said...Josh thinks it will be him. Eddie has always been upfront about this, and now I see Jamie is realizing its not all about the experience....just a little to late for her to get honest. I would like to see Curtis in 1st and then Josh & Eddie share either 2nd or 3rd. I could feel Eddie's empathy for Jamie... |
Snogrl | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 10:42 pm  Nance, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. I have a 16 year old son and can't begin to know what devastation you must feel. |
Novasea | Monday, September 25, 2000 - 11:49 pm  That is the first I heard about any leins. It that a generalization or has that happened to the McGee's? I do think that there are others who need(ed) the money too, just they didn't say anything about it. Either way, Eddie is going to finish in the $$$, and be able to help his family with all the endorsements... and JUST wait till Rosie gets the full low down! You know how she is! Good things will happen for all, I believe, even Jamie. (I sincerely apologise if I offended anyone by the way I phrased that first post.) |
Annah | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 05:11 am  Perhaps the greatest lack of empathy comes from the viewers, not the house guests. All 10 house guests were individuals with a story to tell...good and bad personality traits...good and bad backgrounds...etc. But, viewers have consistently zeroed in on the flaw, the weakness, and hammered away at each hg. How silly and pompous and unempathetic a group WE are. Like it really matters one way or the other in any viewers life who wins this game show! LOL. |
Koka | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 05:30 am  Curtis is the only one to show any empathy lately. When the anti-Jamie banner flew, he was the only one to comfort her. He doesn't care about the money. The others can't see past their noses for the dollar signs in their eyes. |
Annah | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 05:38 am  Koka: Did you miss last night's show? Eddie also comforted Jamie about the banner that was upsetting her...they were in the kitchen area...she was pacing....he told her forget it, don't let it get to you. |
Fruitbat | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 05:39 am  Nance, That is the biggest loss and most profound grief anyone can experience. My heart goes out to you. All banished HG's have said.."You cannot imagine what it is like in there." Dr. Drew talked about emeshing in his interview. Everyone is profoundly affected by the others emotions. The boundries are blurred. I will vernture a guess that this is at play here. They just can't go too deeply into anothers pain. It is a self preservation reaction and they all experience it and understand. They have never delved too deeply. They are also aware it is all being filmed and are protecting each others privacy. None of them push for anyone to share. They wait until it is offered. Since this was an exercize given by BB, there was the automatic response....get through this to fill the requirement and be done with it. We all share deeply when the moment is right. Late at night, when something has happened that triggers the need to expose a truth, etc. Empathy and truth telling on command just doesn't work. BB has been trying to spark deep communication with this method for 3 months. No go. |
Lynnseamonkey | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 06:11 am  It is hard for me to imagine any motivation anyone would have for not simply asking Eddie a bit more about his mom. They've all shared about parents or family in there so these people are a bit more than an abstraction. Nance, I'm sorry for your loss. I wish people could learn that people need to talk about these losses, and the precious people who were lost and then listen. It was interesting to me that Josh, who is supposedly so tight with Eddie, seemed shocked that one of Eddie's options was moving to Germany to be with Monika.. Cass and Eddie discussed that at length several times that I heard. She was able to talk to him about issues of "parachuting into someone's life" since she did that in Italy and how he'd need to immerse himself and learn German, etc.. What Jamie did was to turn it back to herself, that she had cancer issues on both sides of her family.. not an uncommon way to react but one that would be good to unlearn. I kind of wondered when she tried to compare herself to Eddie.. cancer in family, then saying she hoped neither of them were banished Wednesday because they both needed the money.. maybe she was thinking.. saveeddie.com had flown a 2 faced banner about her and that might mean Eddie fans were targetting her. |
Anothermother | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 10:49 am  As the mom of two teenage girls, my heartfelt sympathy goes out to you, Nance. It is every parent's worse nightmare, and I can't even imagine your grief. Thanks for reminding us all that people who have lost loved ones need friends to talk to. I wonder if the reason HG's have not shared more about their personal lives with each other is a psychological defense. The more they know, the harder it would be to nominate or to even feel that you are worthy of a win over others. Some HG's have shared details whether asked or not. Cass had wonderful life experiences, but she also struck me as the type of person who wouldn't talk about them unless asked. There is also player strategy to revealing details that are going to make you sympathetic to the public. Eddie and George play this strategy well. Karen tried, but ended up sounding strident and whiney. Britt was good at subtly letting her needs be known. At this stage of the game, I think the other HG's aren't showing much sympathy/empathy because they want to downplay this aspect of strategizing. I'm not sure if Jamie would always turn the subject back on herself, but it is a good possibility that she was just trying to get the subject off Eddie's needs and trying to show that she has sad stories, too. Since BB is a game, I don't think it reflects how any of the HG's would react to the other HG's stories and experiences if they were outside the house. |
Eddieisit | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 11:15 am  The only reason Curtis showed Jaime empathy for being two faced is because Curtis is two faced and a phony. |
Nance | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 04:06 pm  Thank you all for you kind thoughts of sympathy that means alot to me,more than anyone could know thank you again for your kinds thoughts. I was just trying to relate my situation to the other hgs,not showing any empathy...even when Cass spoke about being robbed,having her life threatened...None of the hgs would ask her any other questions about this ? I'm sure Eddie lost alot of friends directly related to his illness....no one has asked him this ? The BIG "C" was also called 8091 by hospital staff appro. 15 years ago....it was like OMG they have 8091 of the ???? Right away many would think death it seems to be the same attitude with AIDS. So many important issues people are fearful of talking about. It is sad. |
Sparky | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 04:14 pm  I think part of the "distance" that we see when HGs finally are asking or hearing about some deeply personal things (like Eddie's amputation), it's that awkwardness of having never asked before after having lived in intimate living quarters for 3 months. I think it's not unlike meaning to call a friend, then putting it off, until it's like half a year that you haven't called, and then it's VERY difficult to call because you waited so long and showed solittle attention to them yet you care deeply about them. I hope that made sense - but I tangibly felt that when Eddie was telling Curtis and Josh about problems with his leg - at this point having waited this long, I could sense that Josh and Curtis felt they had forfeited their right (for now, anyway) to probe. Hope this makes sense to someone else. |
Ocean_Islands | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 04:42 pm  Wendy wrote, "You know, that's the one thing that has really bothered me about these people. Not only do they not show any empathy...or sympathy...or compassion for one another, they don't even seem to be curious about one another." It's because they are 'faking it'. They are only being civil and nice because they have to in order to win this game. Despite the physical contact between some of them, they are not really close. Obviously being empathetic takes a lot of energy . . . they don't believe they have to go that far to win -- and they may not even be capable of it. |
Zelda | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 09:31 pm  Nance ... just read this thread .... A BIG Hug to you!!! Lots of love & light |
Lilith | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 10:09 pm  I think that the reason these last HGs have not shared much is that they honestly don't like each other. I think it would be much different if Cassandra was still there with Curtis or Brit or Karen was still there with Eddie or Josh. Jamie and Curtis seem to like each other, and it seems as though Eddie and Josh get along, but the group as a whole don't really click. Also, I would like to say to Nance that I hope your family/friends can break through and talk to you. I really feel for you. |
Frome2u | Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 10:28 pm  Nance, I am so sorry for your loss. God bless. |
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