Kearie | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:35 pm  A little 'ditty' my ex- taught me. lol Stranded! Stranded on the toilet bowl. What do you do when your stranded, and don't have a roll? Now whereever you go for the rest of your life you'll be sure... to carry a roll. Too much info...but when I get stranded at home...I sing this and my hubby runs down stairs to the storage room and brings me more TP...lol
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Rmgreco | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:36 pm  LOL! Zappre!! I'm with you, soldiers in The TP Revolution!! |
Bigbrofan | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:36 pm  This is too much information but I'll answer since so many others did! LOL I'm definetly an over roller, under rolling is a pet peeve of mine. Though now that my son's getting older, as much as it bugs me the toilet paper isn't on the roll. It's up HIGH. Otherwise say hello to a TP'ed house. He's potty training so I can still get away with diaper wipes with him, which are also HIGH. I'm definetly a folder and so is my husband. I think I'm a crusher in public restrooms though I RARELY use public restrooms. When I do I'm a a crusher, foot flusher, boil my body in bleach kind of girl! (OK a litlte extreme but you get the point) Men have it easy I guess, as long as they don't have to poop! Otherwise they can just stand there. |
Sparky | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:37 pm  Zappre, the sideways solution sounds a little primitive - like at a campfire, but heck, Sure, we're all with you!!!! *collectively giggling at Zap under our breath* |
Sparky | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:39 pm  Kearie - cool - like from the theme show Branded, right?! (Who woulda thought Chuck Connors would be brought into this conversation...) |
Sparky | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:50 pm  In case you thought this had run it's course - has anyone lit matches to cover up their "trail". It's too late now, but if I'd thought of it, I'd have suggested the BB Angels include mucho matches for Eddie's little gas problem. |
Zappre | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:55 pm  Personally, i'm quite proud my malodorous emanations, and leave them wherever I can...like a wolf marking the boundaries of its territory. Sniff, sniff...oh, Zappre's been here. I know because his is such a sweet, yet spicy calling card of the pungent art. SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP ME!! |
Jenhavins | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:59 pm  My grandmother has matches in her bathroom...you have solved the mystery! I always wondered what they were for, however, sulfer smell covering up another sulfer-like "trail" seems kind of odd to me. Does it work? I also flush in public rr with my foot, and have been known to (almost all of the time) not actually sit down but kind of crouch (men are soooo lucky). Now get a vision in your head of crouching while trying to grab tp and wipe and flush with foot. I should have been a gymnast! |
Chris | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:59 pm  Zappre: But should we then unroll from the LEFT, or from the RIGHT? |
Jenhavins | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 03:59 pm  and no Sparky, I don't wipe with my foot! |
Sparky | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 04:04 pm  And Jen gets her marks: 5.8, 5.7, 5.9, 5.9, 5.85. Awww, it's bronze for Jen. (My grandmother used matches too - in the olden days, they preferred that sulphur smell to that of do-do, I guess.). Zappre - only the person passing said gas appreciates his own emanations (because he/she associates it also with the relief of passing said gas). Mine smells okay too - except when I have to blame it on my German Shepherd. Matches for everybody! [Durn, I gotta run home for the show. Maybe see y'all later tonight. Keeping fingers and legs crossed. Uncrossing legs so I can get up. Okay, now I'm outta here.] |
Sparky | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 04:06 pm  Jen has wised up to wisecrackers. Make that a silver medal for you. |
Zelda | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 04:06 pm  Everyones next mission is to switch the TP roll everywhere you go... of course not in public restrooms... save that for your personal workout... Sissy squats to go and leg lifts to flush! |
Punkgrrl | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 05:00 pm  Women were not meant to stand: The problem with all you squatters is that while you're trying to stay away from the germ-infested seat, you wind up spraying it for the rest of us. Then we have to double layer it with TP so we don't get drenched if we sit down. I tell you, it's a nightmare in a public stall! |
Zelda | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 05:39 pm  Punkgrrl: practice makes perfect.... I have great aim... can't write my name in the snow but I can hit inside the bowl!  |
Punkgrrl | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 05:58 pm  Zelda: impressive marksmanship...you can share my stall anytime! |
Jenhavins | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 06:46 pm  Punkgrrl, I am very careful when I squat and never leave the stall in a messy fashion. I have had a lot of practice with my stance over my adult years and can proudly say "I do not drip or spray"! |
Mbliving | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 06:55 pm  OK, this thread must stop! While at work today, I found myself chuckling outloud in the washroom thinking of some of the posts. The looks I received when I left the stall. OMG |
Zelda | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:00 pm  Mbliving ... does that mean you would laugh if someone was in need in the next stall ... could you spare a square or would you spare a square? Did you get your public restroom workout? ... Did you switch the roll from back to front? ... These are the important questions! (my brothers would be proud!) |
Punkgrrl | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:03 pm  Jenhavins: your coordination is commendable...you go, girl (and i mean that). |
Mbliving | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:12 pm  Jenhavins taught me all I know about toilet gymnastics. I'm thinking about teaching a class during lunchbreaks. To the rest of your questions, only my fellow work squatters will know for sure. |
Rooting4curtis | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:14 pm  Zelda, your post reminds me of an Ozark tale that is right along the lines of this thread: the father of a teen-age girl storms up the front porch steps of his neighbor's house to have it out with the father of his daughter's boyfriend. "Hey, I don't want your son datin' my daughter no more (sic)!" "But they (sic) been sparkin' fer a long time now. What's wrong?" "Your boy p*ssed my daughter's name in the snow outside my house!" "I'm sure he didn't mean nothin' by it." "Well, you think I don't recognize my own daughter's handwritin'?" Go Curtis!! |
Zelda | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:40 pm  What's scary about this Rooting4curtis ... I lived in Fayetteville Arkansas for my high school years (part of the Ozarks) ... could have been me  |
Rooting4curtis | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:50 pm  Hi, Zelda! I'm so glad you answered and that you didn't take offense to my relating this story. This is an actual tale from a volume of Ozark stories entitled "P*SSING IN THE SNOW and Other Ozark Stories." A friend of mine loaned me a paperback copy of this tome of uproariously funny stories about ten years ago. He claims I never gave it back--and I may not have, as I enjoyed it thoroughly! |
Zelda | Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:54 pm  Rooting4curtis ... after everything that I have said in this thread... I have no right to be offended I have seen that lil story somewhere too... when people find out that I have lived in Ar-kansas the jokes come out of the woodwork! |