Transcript of Josh and Curtis On Dan & Scott Show Together! :)

The ClubHouse: Big Brother 2000: General - Archives: Houseguests: Curtis: Transcript of Josh and Curtis On Dan & Scott Show Together! :)

Ångel_Of_Music

Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 09:47 am Click here to edit this post

Warning: This does contain some language not suitable for younger audiences. Dan and Scott rule! Also, I transcribed as much as I could hear. I am kind of sick with the flu so forgive me if it's not perfect! :)

*show starts out with the BB gang seeing the 2Faced Banner with Eyada.com on it* Too
funny!

Dan: Hey Josh what's happening

Josh: Hey Dan. What's up New York.

Dan: Josh look we were just reading some email. How can we prove this is you and not
some impersonator?

Josh: Uh Geez ask me some questions. It even sounds like me. It has to be me. I'm the
only one that will call Eddie Jerk Weed.

Dan/Scott: Eddie hasn't called in yet.

Dan: No he hasn't called in yet. We're waiting for him to call into the show.

Dan: We'll pass that along. Hey he called you a jerk weed (referring to when they speak
to Eddie on the air)

Scott: That's alright we'll talk to you first. It makes sense cause you're the runner-up to
Eddie.

Josh: Yea the runner-up. Second place means the first loser.

Dan: I swear to god you must be getting laid every two f'king seconds. Am I right?

Josh: I'm getting plenty of offers but doesn't mean I'm taking them.

Scott: Uh, you're taking some of them.

Josh: I'm a good guy don't you guys know that? *laughs as he says this* You know it's
funny I got all this backlash in the house about me being a player, and if you watch the
tapes I never even kissed one girl in the house.

Scott: Okay you never did huh?

Josh: No. I didn't.

Scott: I know what they edited for t.v. you didn't.

Josh: Yea, no I never did.

Scott: You never did?

Josh: No, it never happened.

Scott: You came close though.

Josh: Oh, I came very close with Brittany yea.

Dan: Hey, what did you think after watching some of the tapes of those f'king infrared
cameras?

Josh: My goodness.

Dan: That's bad news isn't it?

Josh: We had no idea they were there. We're like holy sh#t! All the guys were like holy
sh#t!

Dan: Like the scenes with you and Jordan in bed.

Josh: Uh huh.

Dan: You could see everything with you and Brittany in bed.

Josh: Really.

Dan: You could just see everything.

Josh: You know I haven't seen the tapes yet. I haven't even had any time to watch any of
the film.

Dan: I swear to god I don't know if it was Brittany or Jordan but it looked like one of
them was just going to grab your crank. *josh is laughing hysterically on the phone*

Dan: And one time I swear you were touching yourself.

Josh: Aww, come on now.

Dan: When you were laying with Jordan. *Josh is agreeing with Dan* Okay picture this
it's dark you're in a dark room laying with a stripper *Josh agreeing again* and talking
and it starts to get a little hot. You're not going to touch her but all of a sudden the hands
starts to go down I swear.

Josh: No no no no. Why you gonna be touching your own thing when you've got a
woman laying there.

Dan: I'd make sure it was working. *josh is laughing* Wake it up. C'mon there's a
stripper here goddamnit.

Scott: This is very cool that you called in. *ed - Scott's voice is pretty nice. Yummy voice
for radio* :)

Josh: Thanks for phoning guys. Hey we got Curtis here too. You guys want to talk to
him.

Dan: Yea we wanna talk to you some more.

Josh: Okay. *sounds cool with the interview - very relaxed*

Scott: We gave him forty-five minutes last night.

All three of them are cracking up on air.

Josh: He's done then. He's had his moment in the sun.

Dan: That's right.

Josh: So who were you guys rooting for? Honestly.

Dan: Uh...

Josh: You guys are from New York so you gotta say Eddie right?

Dan: Actually, we just got to NY a couple of months ago.

Josh: Oh really.

Scott: We're actually from the Midwest.

Josh: Really? So you guys are big George fans.

Scott: Uh, I like George. I actually thought he was pretty cool.

Dan: I thought he was going to snap so fast.

Scott: Yea, he did lose his mind but he's a pretty good guy.

Josh: Here's one thing I can say. As soon as everyone stepped outta that house
everyone's alright now.

Dan: Glad to get the f'ck outta the house.

Josh: It's brutal being in there let me tell ya.

Dan: Alright in our chatroom Lynn wants me to ask you about your wet dream.

Josh: *laughs* That I never had.

Scott: What's the deal?

Josh: I can't say it. I never had one.

Dan: Oh that's right you claimed you never had one. So, you honestly never had a wet
dream?

Josh: I can't remember having one. I know I'm supposed to have one because every guy
in the world is suppose to have one. I just can't remember having one. In all honesty it's
never happened to me.

Dan: But you jack off?

Josh: Hey that's a no comment question there (ed - good answer Josh)

Scott: While you were in the house?

Josh: No, I never masturbated in the house.

Scott: You never masturbated while you were in the house?

Josh: No. Hell no. You can't in there.

Scott: But as soon as you got out you did.

Josh: You never know what happened when you get outta the house.

Dan: I guarantee. Okay if I were you first of all I would have jacked off in the house first
night. I would have told all the guys in the same room. Listen, periodically you're going
to hear me masturbate. I'd appreciate it if you would just pay no mind. I gotta do this or
I'm not going to be able to sleep.

Josh: Yea, hey guys I'm going to the redroom for five minutes I'll be back. I've got a
confession to make. It's going to be short and quick.

Scott: Yea, that redroom came in handy sometimes.

Dan: Josh goes into the red room. Is Julie in? Where's Julie Chen.

Josh: *laughing hysterically* Yea, where's the babe?

Dan: Can she talk dirty to me?

Dan: Here's another hate mail.

Scott: Actually, can Curtis pick up another line?

Dan: Curtis?

Curtis: Hey what's up?

Dan: Here's this email that was posted on one of these websites.

Curtis. Uh huh. Okay.

Dan: Here's what it says. I just listened to the interview with Curtis and boy are my ears
burning. I'm glad I did though because it did my heart good to know that Curtis never
once lowered himself to their level and talked their gutter talk with them.

*all of the guys are cracking up over the email* *I think it's referring to the Dan & Scott
show interview he did*

Dan: We only thought Eddie had a trash mouth. He sounds like a choir boy compared to
these guys. I would wager that they never left three seconds go by without saying the f
word or something equally as offensive. Curtis let me say I think you should run and run
fast before they get you to go on their show again. You certainly don't need it.

Josh: Hey I'm staying in Curtis' apartment right now.

Dan: I want to prove something to this lady. She said we can't be quiet for three seconds.
Scott be quiet.

*one second goes by*

Dan: Damn, that's f'king hard.

*everyone is laughing*

Dan: Start the clock over again. Start it over.

Dan: Hold on we're trying again goddamn it. Oh sh#t!

Dan: Five seconds right now.

*play a dirty wav*

Dan: Even our computers are dirty.

Josh: Do you have Eddie's voice on record dude? *what? I think he's making a joke that
the wav with all curse words is Eddie*

Dan: So, oh uh Josh obviously the question that everyone is gonna wanna know.

Josh: Yes?

Dan: Obviously, you already know what the question is.

Josh: Yep.

Dan: You and Brittany. Blah blah blah.

Curtis: I thought that question was are you gay?

Dan: Oh, yeah we gotta ask that too.

Josh: I squashed the rumors in the last couple of nights. Hey leave me alone.

Dan: Damnit one of you guys are gay the internet can't be wrong.

*laughing hysterically again*

Josh: Yea, I never got that one. I'm in trouble with three girls in the house and yet I'm
gay? Hmm. I don't understand that one.

Dan: So, if because you're the playboy.

Josh: Yea supposably.

Dan: Who right now if you had to nail one of the girls of Big Brother who would it be?

Josh: *laughing*

Scott: Oh, now we're putting him on the spot.

Josh: Big zero. None of them.

Dan: No, you have to pick one.

Josh: I wouldn't then. I would be gay.

Curtis: That's the answer to the burning question.

Josh: No, you see Curtis is hoping for that answer because he's close to me right now.

*laughing again*

Dan: Whenever you do these hypothetical questions there's always a jackass who won't
play along.

Curtis: You found him. *laughing*

Dan: Here's the situation Josh. God has you in his hand. He's going to make you pick.
You have to nail one of the girls or one of the guys in the big brother house. You can't
say no if you say no.

Josh: Wait. I'll answer the question after Curtis answers it.

Dan: Alright.

Dan: Alright you have to pick one to nail.

Scott: Alright Curtis.

Dan: Actually, it's a two-parter. When I say name I mean for the first one who would you
just nail for the mindless sex and who would you have a relationship with? Curtis go on.

Curtis: Uh.

*laughing*

Curtis: I wanna hear Josh's answer.

Scott: You're not going to answer?

Curtis: I'm so not answering that.

Curtis: Yea, there's no good way to answer any of those.

Dan: Alright. *a little upset that they won't go for the nail question. Probably thinking to
himself no f'king wonder they stayed in the house the longest. They avoid controversial questions like
the plague* Who would you have the meaningful relationship with?

Josh: Brittany. Definitely Brittany.

Dan: Alright.

Josh: Everybody knows that one anyway.

Dan: Everybody wants to have the meaningful relationship with Brittany.

Curtis: It's tough for me I would say either Jamie or Brittany (Jamie? He's trying to be
nice the sweet guy!) Probably Britt yea. (Thank the lord he found the right answer.
*wipes brow*)

Dan: Alright.

Dan: Here's Brittany now on the phone. *he's joking about this* No, have you guys like talked to Brittany lately?

Curtis: Yea, I just spoke to her today actually.

Dan: You're moving in with her right?

Curtis: Yea, we're working on that. Yea, I'm actually going out there this weekend and
we're going apartment hunting.

Dan: I think it's so weird. All you guys are together.

Josh: We hate each other right?

*laughing*

Dan: I would be so far gone from both you guys.

Josh: I think that's why a lot of people are pissed off. They didn't have people that wanted
to beat the hell outta each other. Everyone was like buddy buddy.

Dan: I forgot to tell you guys listen to this. The producer that's across the hall that does
Eyada sports her name is Michelle right. Very attractive black woman. Very attractive.
She comes in tonight and she says yea one of your guests approached me on the train.
Who is it? Will Mega.

*laughing beyond hysterically now*

Josh: Actually, he's not getting enough action so he's out chasing everything now.

Dan: Now he's on the subways in NY. *screams* Anyone. *too funny - I bet Will is
none to pleased about this*

Josh: He's a mega man.

Curt: Mega is hilarious.

Scott: Josh tell us what has it been like? What is it like for you to just walk down the
street or when you go to the store or something?

Josh: To be honest with ya. Okay, the first two days here I've been like I don't know how
many days four or five days or something like that right, and we've been on this media
tour and everything else so I've been sheltered for a while you know limos and hotels and
all that crap, but once I gotta outta that um I can't make it down the city block without
stopping. It's funny because you know I'm from California and in NY I didn't think too
many people with know who I was, but they do.

Scott: It's crazy.

Josh: Yea, it's a trip.

Scott: Power of television. But you must have so many women coming up to you?

Josh: Yea, there's a good amount but you have to be selective and choosy. (seems like a
rude comment to me?)

Dan: Both of you guys must have this problem. Seventeen women so far. You gotta be
very choosy. *everyone is laughing* Okay, what about this Josh? Everyone is making
fun of the fact that you have twelve-year old girls completely going nuts over you.

Josh: Yea, Curtis and Eddie said that my fans arrive on school buses.

Scott: Yea, I think you got all of the teen girl vote.

Josh: It's funny I went down to Time Square the other day and there was like fifteen ten-
year olds that came up to us.

Dan: Geez you know what you should do. Aww f'ck this is funny. You should go down
when they're filming that Total Request Live with Carson Daly.

Josh: Curtis.

Curtis: It's funny and laughing about it but Josh is developing this plan that we do that.

*they're all cracking up now*

Josh: I saw Pamela Anderson was on there today. I said we need to get down there.

Dan: In all serious a couple of says ago we have a big sexual harassment seminar.

Curtis: How to or how to avoid.

Scott: Cause they know we really needed it.

Josh: Definitely.

Dan: So we're moving to a new building and it's down by MTV and after we learned all
of these new tips on how to harrass people. All of a sudden we hear all of these kids
screaming. They're all looking up at Carson Daly and you see this dweeb standing there.
I mean this guy is such a-hole. whatever. I don't really know the guy but he's just this dorky
guy standing there you know three stories up blabbing about the clock

Josh: Tomorrow we have a day off and maybe I can convince Curtis to walk down and
we'll be down on the street somewhere.

Dan: You go on the other side of the street and I swear it'll be f'cking mass hysteria. You
should just start nailing the girls. *josh is laughing hysterically* Whatever happens,
happens.

Josh: I don't want my willie to fall off now.

Curtis: They have laws against that.

Scott: 18. 18 and over only. No, that would be great you could steal Carson Daly's
thunder. (ed - I agree on Carson being a major dweeb!) Because he is expecting all the girls.
They're always looking up at him from the street and then you guys will be coming
walking along

Josh: I was telling Curtis today that I have to keep my head on straight because these days
I don't know the difference between my ass and a hole in the ground. All the stuff that is
happening to us is nuts and so the whole thing with the women is just going to be crazy if
I get involved in it.

Scott: Here's a question for you guys. How many bottles of Heineken did you drink?

Josh: No Heineken's baby. We started off with Pap's beer.

Dan: That's f'cked. Just cans of Pap's beer.

Scott: Okay how many cans of beer did you drink if you could add it up?

Curtis: I have no clue I mean the house was just an endless beeramid.

*laughing again*

Scott: It was so funny watching the show seeing you guys get drunk all the time.

Dan: Whose idea was it to have Paps?

Curtis: We were like get us the cheapest beer you can.

Dan: F'ck. That is like the worst s#it for beer parties.

Josh: It does the trick when you have nothing else.

Scott: How much of the monthly grocery money just went to beer?

Josh: Ohhh. Maybe fifteen, twenty percent.

Curtis: Yea, that sounds about right, and if we won a challenge we would use all of the
surplus.

*laughing again*

Josh: Fifty percent. Alright we're drinking good this week.

Curtis: Half of which went to chocolate chips and the rest beer.

Dan: You guys are lucky you're even f'cking alive.

Josh: Hey you lock yourself in your house with no t.v and telephone and what are you
going to do?

Curtis: The beer diet.

Josh: Exactly.

Dan: Uh question here. Josh are you single? I would guess that he is single.

Josh: Most definitely.

Dan: Except he has three girls riding him.

Josh: *laughs* That's false.

Scott: He stops at two.

Dan: Burner wants us to ask you about your chest shaving.

Josh: Okay.

Dan: Yea, I'll tell you big stud. What was that one f'cking scene where Josh gets ready
for dinner. I don't know if you saw the tape.

Josh: Oh okay. You guys have to set it straight but I think I know what you're talking
about. I heard about it. Standing looking in the mirror or something.

Dan: You're standing looking in the mirror and the porno music comes on and you start.
Josh gets ready for dinner and then you hear this porno music and then you start
primping, and then one strange, gross moment you take your pinky, you put it on your
tongue, and you start playing with your f'cking nipple.

Josh: Okay exactly. Wait, I'm so glad you guys finally asked me that. I can finally set the
record straight. Okay, you know I shave my chest right.

Dan & Scott: Yea

Josh: Yea everybody knows that.

Dan: Yea of course because you're a big swimmer an olympic swimmer? Why do you
shave your chest?

Josh: Yea cutting down time in the pool. No, this is what happened I was shaving my
chest one night in the shower, accidentally was being not too careful, I sliced my nipple
one and it was bleeding. Didn't know it and I went to brush my teeth or whatever the hell
I was doing in front of the mirror and all of sudden I look down and I'm bleeding. I lick
my finger and I wipe the blood of my nipple and then I guess I'm a big porno guy because
they're playing porno music.

Dan: Look if Curtis was any type of friend he would have taken the tampon that Brittany
was inserting and wiped off the blood with it. He cut his nipple. He cut his f'cking nipple.
That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen it was like you lick your pinky and then you
start doing this move and they're playing the porno music. What in the heck were ya
doing.

Josh: Yea, that's bad. That's bad.

Scott: Wait a minute Josh what did you cut it with?

Josh: With a razor.

Scott: Oh with a razor. You were shaving?

Josh: Yea, I was shaving.

Scott: Alright. *I don't think he's buying his story completely*

Dan: Good thing you shave the chest hair now because it will cut down on the wind
resistence when you're running to get away from the teen girls.

*laughing*

Josh: I'll take that into account.

Scott: So did either of you guys shower with your swimming trunks on?

Josh: Oh hell no we were butt naked from the first day.

Scott: 'Cause Brittany was on the show and she said she always wore her swimming suit.

Curtis: Yea, she did.

Dan: Okay, was there any place at all that you guys could go and be quiet?

Curtis: No.

Dan: and talk?

Josh: There was nothing and you're wearing a mic. You got a mic on you 24 hours a day.

Dan: Can't you turn it off though?

Curtis: They'd know right away.

Josh: Yea they bust your balls if you don't have it.

Dan: What if you rub your thumb across your mic?

Josh: Well, you have like six mics above your head.

Dan: What if you would go lay down by the chickens?

*laughing*

Dan: But then I would supposed they'd know the ones laying by the chickens are talking.

Josh: Yea, what are they doing over there. Then all of a sudden you have some secret
love affair with the chickens. You don't want that happening.

Dan: You're licking their nipples.

Josh: Yea, you know you just don't want that whole thing.

Scott: Yea you don't want that in the storyline. Josh and Curtis make love to the
chickens.

Dan: *doing Geo's voice* And you know something it's kind of exciting. *he's awesome
at George's voice* *LMFAO*

*laughing hysterically*

Dan: Cheese writes in the strip dance was kind of impressive. Have you don't that sort of
dancing before?

Josh: *laughing* I've been to a few parties where I've done that but nothing professional.

Scott: Oh you're such a f'cking pretty boy.

Dan: I hate guys like you. *laughing*

Dan: Dick Sala wants to know about the broken c#ck.

*laughing*

Dan: Curtis brought that up last night.

Josh: You know these guys are playing and giving me sh#t. They dyed my hair blue. You think they would talk sh#t about my dick.

*laughing*

Dan: So what's the deal?

Josh: There's nothing broken come on man.

Dan: Because you didn't have a wet dream.

Josh: No. So, all of a sudden I'm broken come on gimme a break.

Dan: I brought this up last night. I'll tell you we brought this up last night about the
broken c#ck. Who's that lady that thought we couldn't go a couple seconds without
swearing? What's her name?

Curtis: Lane Liz.

Dan: Lane Liz you might wanna go away from the computer right now. This is how you
get the broken dick. Sometimes you're having sex and you're going too fast, then you pop
out, and you think you can get it back in. And you hit the what did I say last night the
collar bone.

Curtis: You said the collar bone.

*laughing hysterically*

Scott: Yea, that only happens when you're tit f'cking.

Dan: Sometimes you hit a rib.

*Eddie's on the phone. FINALLY! :)*

Eddie: What's up.

Curtis: Eddie what's up dude?

Dan: It's Curtis, Josh, and Eddie. It's a big reunion.

Eddie: What's up Jerk Weed (to Josh)

Josh: What's up.

Eddie: Yea, it's a f'cking a-hole fest that's what it is.

Josh: And the biggest one just came on.

Scott: The three biggest drunks from the big brother house.

Eddie: F'ck you.

*laughing hysterically*

Dan: Now that we have the three guys Scott perhaps you can cue that part of the song up
and here Eddie's masterful singing, *making fun of Eddie's singing on the song*

Josh: Angel boy.

Scott: Let's play all of them. First it's Curtis, then Josh, and then Eddie.

Curtis is up first

Eddie: You know this f'cking sucks now. This is ridiculous. Why you gotta put us
through this sh#t. We went through f'cking three months of this sh#t.

Scott: It goes from good.

Eddie: It goes from good to bad to worst. Tell me something I don't f'cking know.

Scott: Eddie doesn't want to hear himself sing.

Eddie: Listen I know what I sound like.

Scott: Some of the listeners might have missed it.

Eddie: Well, listen they ain't missing sh#t.

Scott: Here's Eddie.

Scott: That's pretty (listening to Eddie sing)

Josh: He's got a freaking halo over his head.

Eddie: Carnegie hall here I come.

Dan: Curtis hey someone said you sang at Carnegie Hall?

Curtis: Yea a couple of times.

*laughing hysterically*

Dan: Really?

*laughing even more now*

Dan: How the f'ck did that happen?

Dan: Hey can you guys hold on during the break here? *they all agree to stay*

BREAK

Dan: Welcome back and we've got *singing crappy like the BB song* Curtis, Josh, and
Eddie. I don't want to make fun of Eddie because I know he can kick the crap outta me.
What are you guys doing tonight?

Curtis: Uh, we're going out clubbing.

Josh: We're hitting the town baby.

Dan: And when you say clubbing you actually mean a club.

Curtis: Yea there you go.

Dan: We thought you hit the girls on the head and then do them. Alright guys thanks for
calling in after our vacation let's have a big brother reunion.

Josh: Sounds like a plan.

Dan: Later guys.

Curtis: Bye Eddie take care.

That's all folks. I'm working on getting Eddie's done too. This medication only allows me to stay up in a chair for small periods of time and typing this convos. is pretty hard too! Hope you enjoy it! The boys were very relaxed and were great sports about everything. Josh has a little potty mouth too! Not as bad as Eddie's of course but he's not a goody two shoes that's for sure!

Prince

Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 10:09 am Click here to edit this post

Good job Angel of Music, while I have heard this interview a couple of times already, it was still fun reading it. BTW there are some mini-inaccuracies in your transcript, but understandable given the length of your post. I think you captured the essence of the interview.

Thanks again for your post.

Sparky

Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 03:07 pm Click here to edit this post

Angel of Music, thanks!

Dee

Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 06:10 pm Click here to edit this post

You're terrific Angel! :)