Archive through September 25, 2000

The ClubHouse: Big Brother 2000: General - Archives: Houseguests: Joshua: Josh may suffer from depression.: Archive through September 25, 2000

Columbus

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 01:08 pm Click here to edit this post

I read on another thread that Josh's mother died
when he was in his early teens, his father re-
married, and then he father died, and his step-
mother got remarried and that was the step-dad
that he called last Weds. night. Confused, now
you can see why Josh is.

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 01:12 pm Click here to edit this post

Thanks Columbus...I appreciate the info.

I sure wish I had a shorter password...grrrr

Chris

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 01:13 pm Click here to edit this post

Wow. Any idea if his step-mother is still around? That would be so strange to have a step-father who never even met either of your parents.

Katie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 01:13 pm Click here to edit this post

I wish CBS has posted complete bios on them written by he HGs or their families. It would be interesting to see the truth.

Shutin

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:05 pm Click here to edit this post

Kearie, Katie, & Jade,

Sorry to the rest of you, I do realize this is a Big Brother site, but I don't want to lose touch with these three remarkable women.

I am 37, female, clinically depressed since age 9, after a plethora of meds settled on Effexor now, also Klonopin and the occasional Xanax. Massive anxiety and agoraphobia kicked in as soon as the depression lifted a little. I live in Seattle, too. I just moved here from Portland, OR where when I wasn't on insurance through my job, I would use the Oregon Health Plan which is pretty amazing, seeing as my meds bill went from over three hundred a month to FREE. I fell in love and moved up to Seattle to be with him and am now on his insurance, but the relationship is not really working out, but I am too afraid to end it because of no insurance, plus anxiety, agoraphobia, and depression kicking in. Of course, this negative relationship has side effects of it's own.

I am so tired of the stigma associated with depression. The old "chin up...just go take a walk...buck up buckaroo" is bs. I have been fired from jobs for taking meds...though they used transparent reasons as to not be sued. And you know, when you get fired, all the depression etc. makes you feel incapable of even getting out of bed, which incidentally, I am in right now.

Not sure why I am posting all this. I would like to hear what you find out, Jade, and also keep up with Kearie and Katie. Click on my user name to get my email address.

Thanks for sharing your stories.

There is something I do with the live feeds: my bfriend and I rarely sleep in the same room anymore, so I put up the live feed and the sound and their snoring and sleep sounds are comforting and lull me to sleep.

I feel sort of dorky posting all of this. Sorry it's not more BB related.

Go Ed-Man.

Gonnagetfired

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:13 pm Click here to edit this post

I think it's striking that you three ladies with depression live in the Seattle area or in Washington state. Do you think the weather there contributes to your depressed state? Have you considered getting one of those artifical sunlight therapy things ( I can't think of what they're called) ? Just a thought... it may help some.

{{Hugs to you}}

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:24 pm Click here to edit this post

(((Shutin))

Appreciate your sharing.

I think your fears about breaking the relationship definitly need to be taken into consideration and thot out. For Financial help for us "special" people is hard to come by in WA. I am by no means suggesting you stay in a relationship that is bad for you. Just get all the info you can about health care and be prepared. (Gosh I hope Jade can help us out)

Like you, I also got soo mad and discusted when 'do gooders' would tell me to get over it. "you're just having a few bad hair days." or "just be strong and pull yourself up by the boot straps." GRRRRRR---nothing like making us feel more guilty for being depressed.

For other posters--Anyone can have a bad hair day, or a series of bad hair days. These people can put a hat on, put their hair in a pony tail wear a wig...or any number of things to cover their hair until it all works out.

A depressed person doesn't have the energy to put a hat on, or fix their hair. Besides this...they don't care about their hair. It may be greasy and disgusting from lack of washing...they just can't get out of bed to wash it. Heck, they don't even think about their hair. NOTHING makes them feel good, they find pleasure in NOTHING, and they connect to no one.
The depressed person is living in their own private hell and they hate it! They feel guilty for being where they are, they want out, but can't get out.

I lost 7 jobs in one year. None of those employers would tell me why. Now people wonder why I'm afraid to go get a job.

Shutin...feel free to e-mail me. I left the link above.

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:27 pm Click here to edit this post

Gonnaget fired. I do have one...right above me. lol. It is a definite 'got to have' in my life. Especially in the winter monthes.

And thanks.

Katie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:31 pm Click here to edit this post

Gonnagetfired
I have had depression since I was a little girl. It was caused by severe abuse from when I was a baby on and then my abusive marriage. I know that the amount of light affects me. I figured it out when I was about 21. I had lived in the midwest when I was a kid and then I moved to Texas for awhile. I noticed that I felt better there. Then I moved to Germany for a couple of years and I lived in a place where the weather was like Seattle. That is when I made the connection and it was reinforced when I moved to Minnesota and Wisconsin. During the summer I felt better then I did in the winter. I got some of those lights and brought them with me here but the problem is that they require you to use them every morning for a long period of time with them in your eyes and I find it hard to do that. It is hard to do. I try to have it by my computer to use when I am on line but when I am working it is hard to find the time in the morning. It would be easier if the light bulbs fit in a bathroom vanity fixture.

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:47 pm Click here to edit this post

The lights are definitly hard on the eyes.

Chris

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 02:55 pm Click here to edit this post

Regarding light, and S.A.D. depression, you can also take St. John's Wort. The lights increase the production of seratonin, SJW is a MAO inhibitor. MonoAmine Oxidase is an enzyme that your body uses to break down many chemical compounds, including seratonin. Taking SJW slows the breakdown, increasing the seratonin in your bloodstream. BUT - you have to be very careful taking it in combination with other drugs. Read the warnings and make sure there is no warning about taking in conjunction with a MAO inhibitor. Even taking Sudafed with SJW can be deadly.

Katie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:07 pm Click here to edit this post

I started taking St.John's Wort for the last couple of weeks and I have taken Sudafed a couple of times. I guess I got lucky. I stopped taking it this morning because I got some samples of prescription medication.

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:08 pm Click here to edit this post

I have tried many of the herbal remedies for depression, anxiety and problems sleeping. My Therapist is a specialist in homeopathic medicine.

The herbs did not work for may. They may work for some, but others, definately not.

Perhaps the deference is between SAD and Depression. Even with the light that does help, I still need my meds. My life depends on them.

I do thank you sincerely for all the suggestions.
Every little bit of info is worthwhile to express on this issue.

I do find it totally awesome that no one has 'flamed us' for sharing very personl information with each other. THANKS

Katie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:14 pm Click here to edit this post

Kearie,
How do you do the pretty pink heart??

Columbus

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:21 pm Click here to edit this post

Sorry, I just gave you misinformation..I read that
story about Josh on another thread and I just went
back to the first show and watched the tape of
Josh's Bio. He is a senior at Cal.Poly in civil
engineering. He is 6'1" and 180 lbs., he has a
pitbull, thinks his lips look like donald or daffy
duck, his mother died when he was 14, has a step-
father named Buck, and his dad is still alive. He
was in his Bio. I am very sorry for passing on
the wrong information. Please accept my humble
apologies.

Gonnagetfired

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:22 pm Click here to edit this post

Count me into the "Depressed Chicks" club. I have had Dysthymia or Depression since puberty (I'm 30 now). I'm currently on Prozac but don't feel its helping much and am on the look out for an anti-depressant that has more effect on me. I know I have "issues" that I need to work hard on but it's hard to work on your sh*t if you can't muster the energy some days to get out of bed. I want to find an anti-depressant that will lift the fog enough so I can work on myself.

Anyway, I've lived in the South all my life. I can't imagine what I would be like if I moved to a climate like Seattle.

I hope I haven't shared too much. Please don't flame me. I'm fragile (LOL!)

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:41 pm Click here to edit this post

No flames...and welcome.

I was on prozac for a while. Started with 20mgs, then up to 40mgs....it seemed to work a little, then slacked off...up to 60mgs....again, it worked then slacked off....up to 80mgs...worked for about 9 months then slacked off.

Got switched to an older drug...nortryptaline. That worked okay, butter than prozac, but not good enough for the Dr. so he added serezone.

My anxiety got worse. Then they got the wise Idea to try Lithium. Ugh. I quit taking that so they put me on Depekote. I never took a one of those. They put me on Serazone alone with ativan.

I got extrememly addicted to ativan. (They didn't know this yet) They added prozac to Serezone.

I told the Dr. about my ativan abuse so he switched that med to Xanax, less addicting.

Later that year I took my first trip to the psych ward of the hospital. Yippie! My therapist at the time was thinking I may have some sort of DID.
In the hospital I told my Dr. My Dr. didn't respond to the info.

3 days later I was release and the Dr. said he didn't want to see me anymore and to find a new Dr.

All I could find was an Internal medicine Dr. with an interest in mental health issues. He thought it was nuts being on the meds I was, the most common side effect was increased anxiety.

He took me off those meds and put me on effexor and trazadone. The traz was to help me sleep. He also gave me xanax but only allowed me 5 a month. (these were .5mgs) He eventually ticked me off because I wanted more Xanax so I quit seeing him. I took my last xanx a year and a half ago.

Now I have a new shrink and things have been going well. He upped my dosage of effexor by 75mgs and also allowed me to increase the traz if I needed to. No Xanax.

This whole process of finding the right med combo took about 7 years.

I hope it doesn't take this long for you to get the right meds...but remember, IT WILL HAPPEN!

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:46 pm Click here to edit this post

Columbus---no problemo. :-)

Katie--- just type this in........ \ (directly in front of this)

clipart{redheart}

Gonnagetfired

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:50 pm Click here to edit this post

Kearie - my goes out to you ! You've had a hard row to hoe!

I think the moderator should change the title of this thread "BBFC members may suffer from Depression" !!!

Katie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:57 pm Click here to edit this post

I was put on Depakote a year ago and I hated it. It just made me feel more depressed and I already felt depressed enough. My depression is so bad that my best days are like most people's worst days. I had no insurance and I hated paying for meds that made me feel worse and I had started to feel that she was wrong about my diagnosis so I stopped taking it all. Then with out anything I got worse. I finally went back last week and convinced her that I didn't need the Depakote and I what I wanted and she listened to me and gave me samples of something that seems to be working but she didn't seem to be really sure about changing. I did like that she finally, after 2 tries, listened to me.

Solun

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 03:57 pm Click here to edit this post

Kearie & Katie & all --

I've been lucky in my med management -- started on Zoloft on Thanksgiving Day 1997. I eventually adjusted to it (meaning it didn't work anymore), went to Celexa, which worked well for a while (and had much fewer sexual side effects), but then last May it too bombed (increasing the dosage just made me sleepy). Now I'm on wellbutrin and zoloft. In the past month, I've started to get my sex drive back -- zoloft really kills it for me, but I'm adjusting. My drs have been really great, allowing me to recommend to them changes in my meds as I have needed them (yes I always check with them first!).

So if you are depressed, hang in there! It -will- get better, whether with meds or therapy or sunshine or whatever! Do what you need to do to get better!

Lots of love,

Solun

Katie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 04:02 pm Click here to edit this post

Solun, What side effects did you have with Celexa?

Chris

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 04:04 pm Click here to edit this post

Speaking of lights, Curtis and Josh are now outside, talking about how bright it is in the house. Josh says that they cannot just adjust the lights when they want to. Curtis quips "and they want to keep our moods up".

Kearie

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 04:04 pm Click here to edit this post

Thanks Solun

Ocean_Islands

Monday, September 25, 2000 - 04:06 pm Click here to edit this post

I'm wondering why you are all talking about your problems when we are supposed to be helping Josh with this thread.

Are we self-absorbed or what.