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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Friday, May 14, 2010 - 1:07 pm
Shen, thanks for suggesting 9 by Design. I like it SOOOO much better than this show. And I find it interesting to see the different styles in dealing with virtually the same number of kids. Yeah, it is easier that they are spaced out more in ages, but it shows how you can run a large family household without anyone sounding like a drill Sargent. Plus I love how all the kids seems to get good attention, NONE are belittled, and both parents are working hard at real jobs not just being TV stars. A tad too much focus on the design aspect for me, but overall, a really good show and a fabulous contrast in parenting styles. Wish Kate would take notes!!!
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Friday, May 14, 2010 - 3:56 pm
LOL, Sabbatia.. I do understand what you are saying but.. my first thought was .. is it calming for the pregnant mares? Assisting at a birth like that is pretty amazing. Remember, to really discuss another show.. go to that thread, or start one, if there isn't one..
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Friday, May 14, 2010 - 4:37 pm
Sea if you were referring to my post, I was primarily comparing another show to this one. Seemes to me if I started a thread to do that, I'd be OT lolol. I think the difference in parenting styles what the most interesting talking point VS anything unique to that show. So dunno if there is anyone who specifically wants to discuss just that show, but that's not my primary interest of convo at this point. But the comparison fascinates me!
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Azriel
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 2:58 am
I don't think you can begin to compare the 9 by Design family to Kate and John's family. Come back to me when the 9 by Design parents are dealing with two 3 year olds and 6 newborns all at once and lets see how calm they are and how much individual attention each child gets. It's a TOTALLY different situation for both sets of parents and Kate and John had far more stress than any of us can imagine.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 6:20 am
Having all those kids can be overwhelming regardless of birth order. When they are a bit more spaced out you may tend to be more scattered and torn. The kids are going through milestones at different times and it's a bit more difficult to make a big deal at each milestone. With the sextuplets parents are consumed with all the milestones at the same time. This shouldn't be a pissing contest on who has it worse....no one forced these people to have all these kids so my sympathy isn't that great for these families and they shouldn't be moaning and groaning or wanting people to feel sorry for them.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 6:24 am
Shoot, I feel sorry for lots of people whose questionable choices have cause them untold harm.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 7:08 am
I love both the Hayes family and the 9 by design family, but we didn't see them when the kids were newborns/toddlers (yes, the 9 by design we are, but they are not multiples of them). i think if perhaps the gosselin's had started their show now, we might all have very different opinions.
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Azriel
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 7:36 am
John and Kate didn't set out to have 8 kids. They had twins and hoped to have another child. Even though she had in vitro the odds that she would have more than triplets were very, very high, so I'm not going to blame her for trying to have another child when she only had two. When the kids are spaced out you have time to hone your parenting skills. When the kids are spaced out the older siblings can be a tremendous help in taking care of the little ones, cleaning the house and making dinner. I know, I come from a family of six kids. My mom was the picture of patience, with all of us, but if she had had 6 newborns and two toddlers, I don't think even she could have kept it together without becoming a drill sergeant.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 10:17 am
Azriel, Kate did not have 'invitro', she had fertility drugs.
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Azriel
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 10:47 am
Thanks, Ophilia. That means that her chance of having multiples over twins was even more remote. With fertility drugs the chance of having twins is 10% and the chance of having triplets or more is less than 1%.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 10:56 am
Az, your last 2 posts are confusing me re Kate's chances of having multiples.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 11:20 am
Having gone thru invitro and IUI (which is how Kate conceived the sex's), I can tell you the diff in the odds of multiples... With IVF, the number of fertilized eggs is totally controlled by the doctor. The chances of multiples is up to the parent and the doctor. Usually there is ALWAYS a chance of multiples because they will put more than one in. They will do this as there is no guarantee that ANY of them will "take." With IUI, (insemination), the risk of multiples can be MUCH GREATER because there are likely lots of eggs (due to the woman taking drugs to result in multiple egg release-al) and of course there's gonna be a ton of sperm directly deposited. So there could be a huge "party" of connections going on! THe sperm is all clean and good to go (in other words much better looking to all those eggs)!! Hope that makes sense. Frankly with Kate just having twins, I am surprised she went on the heavy duty drugs so quickly. After all, how old were the twins when she had insemination?? Probably around a year. So seems like she jumped the gun a bit.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 11:22 am
What is the story of 9 by design?
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 11:33 am
Thanks Julie. It makes sense. Good explanation. I don't know when Kate began getting the IUI, maybe it didn't work at first, I don't know, but the twins were about 3 1/2 when the sextuplets were born. 9 by Design is an interesting family. There is discussion in the General Discussion (Reality Shows) thread. It focuses more on design. They have 7 kids. It is a show on Bravo.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 1:10 pm
Oh, why did I think they were only 2 when the sextups were born?? Then I take that back about her jumpin' the gun!!
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 3:06 pm
Julie, it's a family of 7 kids (one is a newborn the series started with her preggers), and 2 parents who design homes, both in terms of gutting, rebuilding and decorating, and have a very unique design style (some of which I love, some I hate lol). There haven't been that many episodes, hmmm 5 or 6 I think, but so far they mostly live in homes they do and sell. They move constanty, which would drive me insane. The kids are mostly really well spoken, treated well, let's just as I said earlier they have a TOTALLY differently parenting style than Jon & esp Kate, and it's one I much prefer. And true, while it may not be the same as getting 6 kids at once, they have a wide range of age of kids, MANY of whom are quite little and very close in age, and there are far fewer tantrums, meltdowns etc. And when there are problems I really like how they deal with them. They reason with the kids and make them think things out. They don't just bark orders at them and tell them what they should do. I find it a breath of fresh air by comparison. Plus the parents have totally different personalities than J & K. They are almost too mellow sometimes, yet always seem to get stuff done. The Dad can be a boss, but he knows how and when to listen and back off. And they work REALLY well together as a team both personally and professionally. One of my fav parts of this show vs J/K is how rather than taking hand outs and promotional freebies, they are throwing benefits and giving back. I think the kids are learning better lessons in this an many areas. JMHO of course. And while of course the situation is not exactly the same, I think it shows an very interesting contrast in parenting styles. I only had trouble finding 1 episode online, and the last 2 or 3 are on Hulu, so I'd recommend checking it out. I enjoyed it FAR more than this show!
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Azriel
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 5:00 pm
The kids in 9 by Design are 12 yrs, twin 11 yrs, 9 yrs, twin 5 yrs, 4 yrs and the baby. At the risk of beating a dead horse, I'll say one more time that there is no comparison between the stress these parents have gone through and what parents that have 8 children under 4 years old at one time have to deal with.
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 5:10 pm
Ok won't debate that Az, but are you at least willing to agree that their parenting styles, as well as the personality of the parents, are TOTAL OPPOSITES??? That has always been my main point. And I don't believe that Kate's personality would be any different if her kids ages were spaced as the other ones are. Maybe, and I'm not sure, it would be down a notch, but I can't see it be different. Same way I can't see the Mom on 9 by design EVER treating her kids or her husband like Kate does, not do I see her husband behaving as Jon does.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 6:35 pm
I imagine that we'll see a somewhat different Kate on her new upcoming show. Her kids are older now, all school aged, and there is no Jon so that source of frustration plus being really tired, as one is with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, will be gone.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 6:45 pm
If her lousy book sales are any indication, I doubt that many will be watching Kate's show and by this time next year we might finally stop hearing about her.
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Texasdeb
Member
05-23-2003
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 7:00 pm
I am in a minority here I know.......but.....I will hi 5 Kate for trying to make a future for her 8 kids. Doesn't look like Jon gives a rat's behind IMO. Try having 2 - 3 yr olds and 6 new borns & HIM as a husband......You're either going to get tough (like I believe Kate did) or you're going to let your situation get the best of you. She allowed those cameras to see her "raising" her children. Being stern at times is just part of being a good parent......I'm sure glad I didn't have a camera on me while I was raising my 3!!! & they all turned out to be above average adults (I take a bow....). Anyway, I will watch her new show and hope she doesn't let that looser X of her's anywhere close to the cameras (I'll not watch him..& I want to watch this new show without him ruining it for me). Single Mom's CAN rule 
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Lazylu
Member
04-09-2010
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 7:03 pm
I am with you Texasdeb!
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 7:43 pm
I guess I would be most curious to know what Jon would have ended up like had he not spent all those years being berated, belittled and emasculated. While I most certainly don't condone his recent behavior, I honestly feel he started out a nice, decent person (not one person or neighbor ever had a bad thing to say about him, but plenty did about her). And somewhere along the line the life, and sanity, was just sucked out of him. And ITA that parents need to be stern. But IMHO there is a time when that needs to stop, and when there needs to better balance. It's one thing to be stern when a situation warrents it. It's quite another to always be a drill sargent. I was raised to know boundaries and when I crossed them THEN there was disipline. Thankfully I was also raised to be spoken to intelligently, I was given a chance to figure out answers without being told everything, and well, let's just say I doubt I would be anything like I am if I had a mother like Kate. And I mean that in the most negative way possible. I simply do not respect how she treats other people. And if she is like that on TV I can literally shudder at what she must be like off it.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 9:10 pm
I have a feeling a ton of single moms (who are single because their DHs cheated on them) back up Kate PURELY based on the fact that they feel that Jon cheated on Kate. (And not on other things such as the way Kate parents.) I dunno. But I think there is a lot of misplaced blame.
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Lazylu
Member
04-09-2010
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 9:21 pm
I'm a fan and I am not a single mom and my husband of 51 years didn't cheat, so my reason for being a fan is because I think she gets a raw deal. She is trying to support her kids and I can't imagine having 6 little babies at one time. Plus I do admire her for not having selective abortions on those little babies.
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