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Archive through May 29, 2010

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: Other Reality Shows ARCHIVES: Archives for 2007~2010 WrapUps: Archives for 2010 - 3: 19 Kids and Counting - Duggar Family: Archive through May 29, 2010 users admin

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Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 2:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
I raised my daughter with morals..etc.. but I also taught her to think for herself. I'm saying the Duggars need to open the world a bit for their kids. They don't appear to be allowed to have their own opinions. How can they learn to form opinions as adults if this isn't allowed in their home? How can they learn to handle the different types of people in this world if they aren't allowed to mix with people outside their realm?

The world is not black and white. You have to prepare your kids to deal with the harsh realities that life will throw at them. Secluding them from outside influences will not teach them how to cope in the real world.

As I said, I have learned to love this family. This isn't meant in a negative way, but it's concerns for their future. You watch.. there will be some of those kids who never leave home or they come back to live in or near the parents, because they aren't equipped to handle the real world.
Terolyn, allowing the kids to be around others and learn other cultures isn't teaching them MY doctrine.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 3:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
I have never seen where they have been discouraged to voice their own opinions.
I think they have definitely been sheltered, but I don't think they have been secluded. There is a difference imho. I have never seem them to be isolated. I also don't think one has to be exposed to every horror in the world to be able to live in it.
I live near my family...in fact most of my family and extended family life near by. I don't think that means we were not equipped to handle the real world.

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 3:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
I think there ought to be a law that family members can't live more than a one hour drive from one another. I am blessed in that respect.

Stormie
Member

03-01-2007

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 4:11 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Stormie a private message Print Post    
I don't know how secluded they are being on tv and all. And I don't think the Duggars teaching their children certain values they hold, means they don't know the world, nor are isolated from it. I think at some point they will make their own decisions, maybe they will all want to start a family young, like the oldest boy, maybe college, maybe do something else, what does it matter? They don't seem to be missing out on anything.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 4:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
My point is I do think they are being sheltered and kept from other people. Do you see their kids at the local park playing with all kinds of kids?
No, they don't need to exposed to ALL the horrors of this world. Did I say that?

They allow us to see their world. I agree they are loving. But, I see those older girls work all day long watching and caring for the younger ones. It's wonderful that they are so responsible. It's great they can handle the smaller ones. It just APPEARS they are never without a job or duty to be done with that many siblings. It's a lot for anyone to handle.




Stormie
Member

03-01-2007

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 4:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Stormie a private message Print Post    
They have flaws, are not perfect, nor golden, but I don't see anything wrong with what they are doing, or that they are being isolated. I think if the kids wanted to venture out, they'd likely be able to do it. And maybe they're more grounded without as much technology, nothing wrong with that.

Lilfair
Member

07-09-2003

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 4:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lilfair a private message Print Post    
There are a vocal group of people who question the rights and the harm having so many kids put on the family. My mom was one of eleven kids growing up living in Yugoslavia and to a great degree there is a similarity in how the family was run. My mom and her sisters took care of the young one and her brothers worked the farm with my grandfather. No one was bothered by the amount of kids they had. I am one of five kids and when I was growing up it wasn't unusual. My neighbors had 7 kids...Circa 60's--70's.

The Dugger kids have had more experiences then my two kids had growing up. They travel, play musical instrument, socialize with each other plus other kids from large families. They have a nice vocabulary, they are imaginative, they are active and have a lot of space to run around and play. But most of all they all seem so very happy. I don't think their wardrobe is a major problem for them in fact I think the "traditional" teen girl has a lot more angst and drama over their wardrobe.

Stormie
Member

03-01-2007

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 6:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Stormie a private message Print Post    
I think it was when the show first started, that the mom said something like they wear those types of clothes to draw attention to their face, which made sense to me when she said it. It's not my choice of clothing, but I think it's better than wasting money on items in magazines or tv, which is basically wearing what other people tell you that you should wear anyway.

Jgalt
Member

02-17-2009

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 6:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jgalt a private message Print Post    
I mentioned their clothes Lilfair, just regarding the comfort factor. Someone mentioned jeans, I think that's a great idea, not tight jeans, just jeans that can be worn running around playing on a large property.

I'm very conservative about dress, I even feel all the schools in this country should have dress codes, much like private schools. I think the way you dress, in some ways, effects the way you act. I also think it would elilminate the pressure to have the most expensive clothes etc. in school, thus maybe saving parents some money. My kids went to private schools and wore uniforms, I loved it. I realize kids will want to put their personnal stamp even on these uniforms, but I still like the idea.

My mother was one of eight kids, I think they grew up in a happier, closer family then my father, who was one of two children. I love watching the Duggers, and I so much enjoy seeing the old fashioned morals and values that just seem to be lost in our general population today. Bottom line, I love the Dugger family, and envy them their faith and the peace they find in their faith, a close loving family is one to be treasured. Thank goodness we live in America and can still choose our lives and our faith.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 8:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
nvm

Sia
Member

03-10-2002

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 8:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sia a private message Print Post    
Speaking of large families, there are very large families living close to my home. A mile from me is an Amish family with at least a dozen children. A quarter-mile up the road from that neighbor is another Amishman (they're brother's actually), who has as many children. The older girls watch over the young children. The girls all wear heavy navy blue or black dresses, they wear white bonnets over their hair. Boys and girls alike work in the garden, take care of the animals, and sell produce at a vegetable stand in their yard. There are many, many other Amish families in this part of the county, and they all have lots of kids who help raise the youngest ones. They work had, are educated through the eighth grade, are well-spoken and polite, deal well with the public, and are contributing members of the local economy. I have no problem with the values they embody, and I have had nothing but pleasant interactions with the Amish in my community. They read many more newspapers than most people I know, they take care of their own when the need arises, and (for the most part) they commit no crimes.

As for the Duggars, I really admire the way they are raising their children. I do think that Michelle may be pushing the limits of her body's strength and the endurance/elasticity of her uterus, but that's her decision to make with Jim Bob.

Close friends of mine from college have six children and I remember them telling me that they were going to have "as many children as God saw fit to bless them with." Not my choice, but I think they are outstanding parents. They home-schooled their kids through their early years and then enrolled them in private Christian schools. They have amazing children.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 8:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
The Duggar kids don't GO to a school.. they aren't getting that experience of being with peers. The older Duggars are the homeschool teachers of the younger ones. Basically the bio parents have made a decision that creates a bunch of surrogate mothers and I assume fathers as well within their huge family.

I'd want kids to get a broader view, I guess.

Even the Amish recognize that there IS a need, and the children at a certain age are the ones to choose to adopt the religion and lifestyle, though of course it is often a bit late for them and they don't get a gradual education on the life "outside" the group so some are ill-prepared to leave and somewhat forced to stay, or they are cast adrift in the outside world.

Yes thank goodness we can have choice but each generation should be allowed to make that choice, which is why some preparation ON the choices is probably a good idea.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 6:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
You watch.. there will be some of those kids who never leave home or they come back to live in or near the parents, because they aren't equipped to handle the real world.

My older brother is pushing 50. He's living on his own for the FIRST time because he couldn't handle the real world. He's living alone because my dad died. NO religious upbringing. There were 3 of us kids. So I don't think kids moving home and not being able to handle the real world is about religious teachings and keeping to your own.

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 6:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
The oldest son seems to be quite comfortable out earning a living among 'us', and he was raised exactly the same way as the rest of his siblings; likewise his wife.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 6:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
decided it was better not to post this

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 6:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
Google Amish kids and drugs. How many of them leave?

You all are saying those kids are well prepared for what the world throws at them. They'll be able to handle any type of person out there. Well, I'm happy that they have raised such perfect kids.

What about cultural diversity in their lives? When do they get to play with kids from different cultures and lives? They are missing a rich part of their childhood.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 6:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
The Amish also don't believe in electricity or technology. The Duggars have no problems with modern conveniences.
I wouldn't be surprised if perhaps one or two of the Duggar children rebel or lose their way. Odds are they will. Not because of how they were brought up but mathmatically it's likely. Kids who come 'good, open minded, exposed to the world' families rebel too.

Josh is out in the world working as a used car salesman. He must have some ability to interact with others. The next oldest owns his own wrecker. I think they are showing initiative.

I am not sure in their city in Arkansas there a alot of different cultures. Should the parents leave Arkansas?

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 8:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
No, just let them play with other kids. We don't see them out at playgrounds. Most homeschool families that I know take the kids out to socialize. It's a part of their growth.
Have you seen when they introduce some of the kids they shrink back a little and seem unsure of how to greet a stranger? Once they know someone they are fine. I saw one show where the kids were clearly uncomfortable in a larger crowd of people. They huddled closer to each other.
I do think taking the kids on trips is helping, though.

Arkansas does have diversity. Hot Springs and Little Rock are big cities.
http://www.rcdcydc.org/
Yes, I've been to both of those cities.


Southern_grits
Member

10-08-2009

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 9:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Southern_grits a private message Print Post    
I have too. I was born in Little Rock and grew up in a town 10 or 12 miles north of there.

I thought they did play with other kids, at church. Just my opinion but I think they are doing a great job, but then much of my family belonged to a church that was just as strict or even more so, they wouldn't be caught dead wearing jewelry, even wedding rings. It doesn't seem so foreign to me.

I used to be afraid of new people and situations too, I grew up far more sheltered than the Duggars and my parents were considered heathens by the rest of the family.

The kids are going to grow up and make their own choices, just like any kid. But their parents have made sure there is a good, solid, religious base to start from. I admire them for that.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 9:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Wouldn't it be natural in a group of kids that large that some would be more shy than others? My oldest was more hesitant around others than my youngest...she would go up to anyone! LOL They have been exposed to the world. It could be a function of their personality rather than lack of exposure.

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 9:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
Have you seen when they introduce some of the kids they shrink back a little and seem unsure of how to greet a stranger?

Sounds exactly like two of my grand daughters when they were little kids and the only children in the family. They outgrew that and went on the be complete social butterflies.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 2:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
sigh I give up.

Time will tell.

Jgalt
Member

02-17-2009

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 5:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jgalt a private message Print Post    
Twiggyish, I really understand what you're saying, and I also have my concerns and reservations, but after watching them I have mellowed a bit. I was, at one time, totally against home schooling, but when I speak with friends with children in public schools and their concerns about the promiscuity, violence, drugs etc., I guess I'm starting to see the wisdom in, at least, trying to protect your children for a time. I do see the necessity to have kids play with other children who have differenct belief systems, backgrounds, etc.. I still think it helps round out a person and how they look at the world. I guess I'm seeing good reasons for both arguments. Their upbringing is more restrictive and narrow compared to the general population, but, as long as it's working for them, and they're not harming the children in anyway, or keeping them captive like that Morman group in Arizona(?), or some cults, then I wish them well.

As I mentioned, if some of these kids go against the teachings of their church, and become more liberal in their belief system, I hope they will be allowed in the family with open arms, and loved just as the others are loved and accepted. I think that will be the true test if this sort of family works. They've given these kids a good spring board as far as values, now they should be given the freedom to go out in the world and apply these to their lives as they see fit.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 6:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
I don't think anyone is agaist home schooling but what bothers me is that the older kids are the teachers and out of at least a dozen who would normally be experiencing school, it is hard to imagine that, given a choice, some of them wouldn't have chosen to go to a public school or even a Christian private school.

And then there are tons of parents who do homeschool, but also get their kids involved in organized sports, dance, musical groups outside the family, where a child or children can have their own experience apart from siblings and the home. Like is it believable that ALL the kids really want to play violin?

I know a father who parents and homeschools his twin boys because they have cystic fibrosis. They also include the "third twin" who is their cousin of the same age, who also has cystic fibrosis. The twins' mom died of CF in her twenties :-(

They have their down (or crummy as they term it) days, their inpatient times and are somewhat restricted in activities, but they have friends who interact with them, and whenever possible, they participate in Little League. What is really impressive is that the other kids, parents and the league has accomodated them so that if they can run, they run, but often they get a hit and get to first base and then another kid is allowed to run beyond that. If they can play, they play, if they can just come to the field, they sit in the dugout.

They have to be on a schedule, as in so much sleep each night, but they are allowed choices. They follow certain baseball teams avidly and on key nights they can stay up to watch a game as long as they last. The game is recorded so that whoever doesn't last til the end can watch the end and then each boy knows that if they stay up late, they make up those hours of sleep in the morning, still of course working in all their daily treaments. They have fun rules, like if one of the three wants to declare a school day a pajama day, he can and the other twins and teacher dad also wear PJs that day. Love, humor, disclipline but it seems like whenever the boys CAN make a choice they are encouraged to do so.

And yes I'm sure there are example of kids who had to play violin becoming president or kids who got to choose an instrument becoming serial killers.. there is a counter to anything it seems.

But still, I'd love to see them allowed a bit more individuality.

That, and for the love of god, put seatbelts in that bus and use them.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 8:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Twiggy, I get your point too. I was simply offering another perspective.
Time will tell for any of us trying to raise children. I think all parents hope and pray that the decisions they are making are the best for their children.