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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 9:10 am
but we can gleam a bit why someone goes that route, . I am afraid I can't agree with that. Where's the line that justifies it? To some it might be not having sex everyday, others every month. To some it might be financial troubles. How mean does one have to treat their spouse to justify it? Fighting everyday or once in a while. What about a difference of opinion? To imply that there is something that the spouse does that 'drives' the other spouse to infidelity lets the cheating spouse off the hook...the devil made me do it!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 9:37 am
just want to add, I could certainly understand any of those things as reasons for a divorce, just not as an excuse for cheating.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 9:46 am
I'm just saying that I can understand how someone might stray instead of filing for divorce when they are in a perceived bad marriage and feeling unloved and under appreciated...especially when they have kids, let alone 8 kids. If Jon and Kate didn't have children and she treated him like we see on the show he would have walked out instead of doing things on the sly. If you are not happy in a marriage and you've tried working it out and nothing works I can understand the need for affection from someone else. I don't advocate it, at all (I've been married over 2 decades)and we've been monogamous and would hope that before things got too bad we'd work it out. But that doesn't always happen. Just saying I understand how one could be so unhappy that they look for affection outside of their marriage.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:17 am
I think its also interesting when combined with Elizabeth Edward's and John's affair - I dont want to play a 'blame game" but I do find it said when women "go after" or "participate" with a known married man as both of these men are in the public eye - same with athletes, rock stars etc - very hard to keep a marriage together in Hollywood as well - again... enough "blame" to go around - its much harder to "behave" - or respect yourself. Amchess that was early on in the tv show - they were at a ToysRUs shopping with the kids for their Christmas Presents - they divided the kids and Kate wanted the twins to get each other a present, and that present should be the SAME - so Jon had one twin, Kate the other - and then Kate would tell Jon what to influence his twin with... very stressful - plus the little kids were in tow - LOTS of stress - then at check out - Jon was in one area of the store and Kate yelled at him, looked up into the camera and I think teasingly did the yohoo type then, as they were packing the van with their purchases, Kate was probing what the problem was, and Jon said you treated me like a dog - of course Kate was apologetic - so in context - it made sense, they brought it out in the open, discussed it, and moved on... it does seem from the clips of their "confessionals" there was strain - and to do it on camera very difficult...
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:21 am
Jon & Kate Plus 8's Kate Gosselin showed up on The Today Show this morning -- without her husband and kids. Jon Gosselin and their eight children were supposed to join Kate for her interview with Meredith Vieira, but decided to back out at the last minute. Meredith asked Kate about the allegations that her hubby is having an affair with teacher Deanna Hummel, to which Kate responded, "I'm very hesitant to believe any of it. It goes with the territory." Kate was on the show to promote her new book, Eight Little Faces, but talked a lot about all the drama going now in the news. She said she's taking everything with "a grain of salt" since "people are being paid to talk." Us Weekly has an interview from the other woman's brother, in which Jason Hummel says his sister is absolutely getting it on with Jon -- and the mag claims they didn't pay him a cent to say that. "We're dealing with it privately," Kate said this morning. "It's kind of ironic since we do have a reality show and people see the good, the bad and the ugly. But there are those things we keep to ourselves, and we're working through it together, and that's the important thing." Jon didn't show, but sent a statement that read: "These allegations are false and just plain hurtful. As I adjust to the attention that comes from being in the public eye, I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time. But the bottom line is, I did not cheat on Kate. I am sorry for putting my family in this awkward position, given some poor decisions and bad judgment I've made recently. I am working through this difficult time with my family. My family is my top priority." Kate later said, "We're not perfect. I don't have all the answers... We're doing our best and learning how we go. We just need to weather this storm, just like all the other storms we've been through." link
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:22 am
I also want to stand up and say there is no excuse for cheating - you participate in it, you have to own it - man, woman, wife, husband, Other Person -
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:23 am
I am so glad Jon flat out said he did not cheat on Kate. I hope it is true.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:24 am
yeah, Elizabeth got cancer..i am sure that alienated John and made him cheat... so now, i guess Elizabeth can cheat. i just don't buy one person's actions cause another to cheat.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:38 am
This link is better: link It includes the segment of Kate talking to Meredith on the Today show. I really enjoyed seeing how Kate comes across. And I feel really bad for her having to deal with all this. But I think she feels it is what she has to do for the benefit of her family. I feel much better about the situation after seeing the video. It is different than just reading about it.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 10:54 am
Tex, I agree. No person can cause another to do anything unless it is by duress or accident. Everyone is responsible for his or her own behavior and actions. This whole idea of someone else causing another to do something (cheating on a spouse or anything else) is running rampant in our society right now. Public officials don't take responsibility, failing auto makers and banks and AIG etc don't take responsibility, and on and on. It trickles across and up and down through society. It really saddens me and infuriates me. It is also one of the biggest things I get on my kids about...not taking responsibility for their actions. Everyone makes mistakes, it is part of learning, especially when you are a kid. But you've got to take responsibility for those mistakes. The initial thing you did is not as bad as saying "well she....".... in the case of my kids. I will let them get their "well she..." (about their sisters) out first but then we have to talk about taking responsibility for your part no matter what your sister did because that is part of parenting...teaching your kids to be responsible for their actions and behaviors. OK, so sorry to get way off topic. I think Kate is focusing on going forward. I don't think they had any idea that they were going to become celebrities. I don't think they want to be. I think they want to focus on the show and books. When Kate says she wrote the books for the kids and doesn't care if they sell, I totally believe her. You know, I remember an old ep where Jon said the kids can watch Little People Big World. I don't think they would have been allowed to watch it if J&K felt it was appropriate for them to see...so they probably had watched it themselves. Maybe J and K felt their lives would remain pretty unchanged kind of like the lives of the Roloff kids don't seem to be any different than if they had never had the show.
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 11:32 am
Tex I am absolutely in total agreement with you.. There is never,and I mean NEVER an excuse to cheat. There is an excuse for counseling,there is an excuse for divorce,there is never an excuse for infidelity.PERIOD.. Just leave,if it is worth putting your marriage in Jeopardy then it is worth divorcing over.Because no matter how "slick" you think you are,there is ALWAYS the risk of being caught. If you cheat you know going in that you may very well end your marriage.Sorry to ramble but this is my hot button. I have overcame many many obstacles in our 15 yr marriage ranging from drugs,inlaws from hell and various other things. But Cheating is the one thing I have always said I could not overcome. I would never be able to trust my husband again.Like a Dark Cloud it would just hang there forever.
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 11:38 am
I'm glad Kate said what I said here: people are being paid to talk. Some people will say anything for a dime.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 11:59 am
I think Jon NOT showing up tells it all. If he wanted to straighten things out, he would have been there. That alone would have done a ton of damage control. Him not being there says it all to me.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 12:03 pm
Except that the magazine has gone on record to say that they did not pay the brother a dime and his family has confirmed that. I hope it's not true either, a marriage in pain is never something to find pleasure in. But, I watched that clip with Kate and it breaks my heart. I think that more than anything has me leaning towards believing it's true. If it was my husband you would hear a very strong.. "<100> No way my husband had an affair, I believe him 100%." Not a quiet, weak and pained sounding: "I'm very hesitant to believe any of it." Hesitant? I am so sorry for her situation and especially the timing. With this book tour she will be doomed to spend the next days/weeks repeating this conversation.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 12:08 pm
Him not appearing on tv says he's guilty? Why would him appearing in person have more weight than him being quoted in a written article? Maybe he stayed home with the kids becaues they didn't want the kids on set when Meredith asked about this?
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 12:33 pm
Many marriages have survived infidelity. I think it was wise of Jon not to go. I think it was brilliant for them not to bring the children.
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Bluejaxrock
Member
04-23-2004
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 12:38 pm
So much speculation, yet do any of us know what's really the truth? There are three sides to every story - his, hers, and the truth. I hated to weigh in on this topic because it's a bit incendiary, but I'm jumping into the fray. In my marriage, neither of us would cheat on the other. We'd leave first. For us, that is the line that doesn't get crossed. Everyone has their own "line", but since that's mine, I never understood women who stand by their man after an affair. But to each his own. As far as saying that his alleged behavior is justified or understandable due to Kate's treatment of him is like saying that the rape victim asked to be assaulted because of the way she was dressed.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 2:15 pm
As far as saying that his alleged behavior is justified or understandable due to Kate's treatment of him is like saying that the rape victim asked to be assaulted because of the way she was dressed. Amen
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 2:51 pm
They discussed this on The View today. It seems to me the ladies don't quite believe Jon either. If you go watch the show online, the discussion was right in the first segment so you won't have to look very far.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 3:10 pm
well, if the View ladies think he did it, then he must have! LOL but it really shows how much these people are a part of people's lives in a way.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 3:13 pm
Lucky for him the only woman he has to prove himself to is Kate (well and those little girls and boys), not all the talking heads on tv who get paid to have opinions. Absolutely now isn't the time to bring the kids, with the questions that "must" be asked. Each marriage is different as to what is a deal breaker and what isn't and of course in what there is to "save" if there is a major breach. Seems to me way too many people stay too long in a marriage and way too many people leave without trying to save a marriage.
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 3:14 pm
Tex, I said it to show it's not uncommon that people wouldn't automatically believe Jon, just like some of us in this thread. I didn't say it to mean The View ladies are right.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 3:18 pm
ACK.. I hate sites like that MSNBC one.. I never did actually get to see the video .. just snippet after snippet of teasers for their videos.. very very irritating.. and then when I closed that window, found out the link here hadn't started in a new window 
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 3:20 pm
Thank goodness for youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsSh-x07pbM
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 07, 2009 - 3:45 pm
i didn't think it was uncommon, naja.
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