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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 6:39 pm
Annie, Well said.It is hard,darn near impossible to decide to not be around family.My husband comes from an abusive,drug affiliated,Just all around NOT good,family. His mom is bedridden at the age of 56 from a stroke she had in 2006.Since his Mom was the only Ally he ever had,he has not been in any kind of regular contact in well over 18 mths.We did take a card and some things I baked over on Mother's Day,but she is not in her right mind,and cannot call or visit on her own accord so it's a rare occasion they see each other at all.His father is a nightmare,has always resented DH (and he IS his biological dad)and can't see past Dh's druggie younger brother AKA-The Golden Child as we call him.He had his home raided in a meth lab bust and lost his kids for over a year,but yet my husband is still the black sheep.Some people just do not want their children to do well.I don't understand it,but I have experienced it a lot since I married Brian.I want my children to surpass our success tenfold. I would not wish for them to struggle ever.But his father is only happy WHEN we struggle.We have not spoken to his brother since March of 2008,two weeks before Brians stroke,when he called and told us "He was going to burn our house down and kill us all"..So,yeah I know a lot about removing yourself from the source of the problem.Don't know that that is the case with Jon&Kate,but sure would make a lot of sense. ((Sabbatia)) Remember,it's always the darkest before the Dawn..
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 6:41 pm
{{Sabbatia!!}}
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:06 pm
I believe I read it in the first book (or maybe it was the first special) about how Jon said he was fine with just the twins and did not want more kids. Kate herself has said that. I know I have read/heard it more than once. But he is the one that went along with Kate for more kids.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:08 pm
((Sabbatia!!!)) Been there, sweetie. It's not a whole lot of fun. In my case, even though I felt it was mostly his fault ( ), I had to accept my part in the whole mess. I chose him, after all! And you just can't fix someone who doesn't want to be "fixed." Hang in there and I hope you find happiness again. I'd just like to add that as much as we all like to speculate, the only ones who know the truth about their marriage are Jon and Kate. I do feel sorry for those kids, though. They're the ones who are going to suffer the most if their parents split up. In many ways, it's like a death when a marriage ends. Very sad for everyone.
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:10 pm
Thanks ya'll! You don't have to be alone to be lonesome....and sometimes I think I see that in Kate's eyes. Maybe thats why I'm sympathetic to her. Lori...you can pick your friends, but ya can't pick the relatives huh? There were several on my Dad's side of the family that he chose to keep us away from. Sherbabe, my aunt was an athiest and my family was a Christian family. We would say we couldn't do something because it was wrong, and she would question the wrongness of it. For that reason BECAUSE we were Christians, Dad chose to distance us from them. Do you think it was unChristian like behavior to keep us away from her and her family? We don't know the circumstances of the estrangements in Kate's case. But IMHO, a difference of values is enough during the children's young yrs.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:11 pm
but Julie, that doesn't imply that he was drug kicking and screaming into have more children. for some reason people seem to think she intentionally had 6, and true while 6 eggs were implanted, she has said she never in a million years thought it would be 6. more than 2 eggs were implanted with the twins. my husband and i each at separate times said we were fine with our one child. does that mean for one minute we regret our daughter?? no way!!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:18 pm
I said he was the one that went along with it. I don't think he wishes the septuplets were never born. Just that he did not want more kids. And he did not flip back and forth, he just wanted to stop after the twins. But whatever, he didn't and here they are today.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:55 pm
I still don't see "Kate pushed and pushed". Besides I think that isn't the way to get those sperm out.. I thought they used Intrauterine insemination 'Washed sperm', that is, spermatozoa which have been removed from most other components of the seminal fluids, can be injected directly into a woman's uterus in a process called intrauterine insemination (IUI). If the semen is not washed it may elicit uterine cramping, expelling the semen and causing pain, due to content of prostaglandins. (Prostaglandins are also the compounds responsible for causing the myometrium to contract and expel the menses from the uterus, during menstruation.) To have optimal chances with IUI, the female should be under 30 years of age, and the man should have a TMS of more than 5 million per ml.[2] In practice, donor sperm will satisfy these criteria. A promising cycle is one that offers two follicles measuring more than 16 mm, and estrogen of more than 500 pg/mL on the day of hCG administration.[2] and that she had her ovaries stimulated, but not that anything was implanted. But of course with any fertility treatment there is that seesaw between no results and multiple results.
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 7:56 pm
Sabbatia,yup. Even as a child myself my Daddy kept us from some of his siblings,and I didn't understand it at the time.I learned later on that they were Alcoholics and not great influences at all.I totally respect him for it now.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 9:19 pm
you could be right, sea, i was really just assuming since she had 6. I did inseminations with stimulation, but never had that many eggs.
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Irismi
Member
02-22-2008
| Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 9:53 pm
I have seen many posts stating they are not around their family be/c their relatives may be 'less than desirable'...that is a stretch since none of us know any of their relatives. The two we met on tv seemed pretty normal and J&K spoke highly of uncle Kevin. They also had many friends who traveled with them and helped out in a pinch. I am from a large extended family and one or two of them are faar from perfect but I haven't booted them out of my life and I consider them a life-lesson for my own child. It does not mattter why all these people disappeared from their life, but they did disappear. And when the neighbors were interviewed from the neighborhood, many indicated at that time that Jon was far friendlier than Kate. I suspect they will divorce and Kate will try to keep the show afloat without Jon, but both of them should take a break and get their kids away from the media. SOmeday these kids are going to 'google' themselves and there will be a picture of Leah getting her butt spanked in front of all of America. One can only wonder how she will feel about that. And Maddy has her own youtube moment also. It really is too much for these kids right now.
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 12:49 am
To be honest I never watched any of the show until a week or so ago and I've caught a few online. With Jon and Kate all over the media my curiosity called. So I think I had an interesting perspective in coming to them with no clue what was what, and had only heard the conflicting media madness. After watching a few shows from different timelines (early on, a couple years ago, last year, current) I was stunned at how much I saw Kate change, whereas Jon seemed pretty consistent throughout. Kate began fairly nice and sweet and somewhere she gained such a sharp tongue, controlling demeanor and took endless verbal pot shots at Jon that it seemed like a different person to me. I went in wondering if the comments about her were exaggerated and to be honest I don't think what I read was harsh enough. One I watched last week, that I guess recently aired, stunned me. It was their 100th show and Emeril was over cooking. She took shot after shot at Jon, and when Emeril defended him she smacked him (hard and it seemed to hurt) with a spatula). Then she laughed about it. Imagine hitting a world class chef who is spending the day in your kitchen cooking for your family?!! My impression was this is a woman who seriously needs help. Jon did come across as passive/aggressive, but it struck me as a coping mechanism more than a cause in their relationship probs. I couldn't believe he tolerated as much as he did to be honest. And Kate seems to always say things about her actions that don't match the actual actions. For example today I watched the Hawaii second wedding ep and she said how she let the girls could choose any nail polish color, implying how mellow she was being about it. But one of the first things she did was yank a color out of one of the girls hands, say no way and put it back. I didn't get the impression she had any clue she did that, and I think she really believes her actions are one way when they are another. What shocked me more than anything was how sincere they seemed in renewing their vows less than a year ago. What the heck happened in 9 or 10 months from them repeatedly telling their 8 kids they were committing to each other forever. I just don't get it, but I certainly feel that the show has not helped their relationship at all. I do think unlike those saying it has hurt the kids that it has helped in many ways, as they always had more hands around, and opportunities that most families with that many kids would never have. Pity the price seems to be so high.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 5:01 am
I'm doing it again, shoot me now. LOL Kate made a comment about Jon not knowing where the oven was, Jon replied laughing... of course I know where it is, I am the king of reheating (that's a paraphrase, not about to hunt down the youtube clip). Whole thing was a funny, light, affectionate moment. Does it really matter who is right/wrong? I could not really care less. My concern is with those kids. As a parent I would have shut down production so fast your head would have spun the first time I heard there was a 'I hate Maddy' website. The twins are ten now, right? Or about to be? Ya, they are hearing crap every single day from their classmates, about their mom being a be-yatch, about their dad having girlfriends. This is of course a bonus to what they heard last year which was that their mommy is a be-yatch and Maddy is just like her. Who cares about the marriage, IMO their bigger failure is not protecting their children. Just yesterday there was a clip of Jon playing with his kids in front of the paps. They own how many acres? He has to take the kids down to the gate to play? Is he feeling all smug in his... it's my property, i have the right to use all of it... while his kids hear the paps yell out questions about his marriage? Doesn't matter to me about their marriage except that it's interesting gossip but the kids matter and Kate/Jon both REALLY dropped the ball on that issue IMO.
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Tess
Member
04-13-2001
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 5:30 am
The twins are 8, Rissa, and I agree with you about being sad for the children. My husband cheated on me for nearly a year when my daughter was in first and second grade. She never knew at the time except that Mommy and Daddy started fighting a lot which we had never done before. The irony is that I knew about it all the time and he lied the whole time. It was the lying that really got to me when even my best friend finally told me what she thought was news. ha! I have severe health problems and our daughter is adopted and has many health issues as well as ADHD. It turned out that my husband was clinically depressed and needed help. Another irony is that the affair never got to the place he wanted. Once he told the "other woman" what he wanted and how he really felt, she was gone faster than the blink of an eye. She has her own loving husband and children. In his mind, he was desperately in love and seeing her every single day. In her mind, he was just another dad from school and they were friends. Through all the fighting and my knowing that he was cheating at least in his heart one might wonder why I stayed. Simple answer. I refused to leave my child and my doctors have said I could not physically take care of her every single day. She was the same age as Maddy and Cara are now. Now my daughter will be 13 just before the twins turn 9. I also know what it's like to carry the anger and hurt around for 4 years after the fact like some overwhelming burden so heart-rending that you can barely breathe sometimes. Then, silly as it sounds, I rented Sex in the City (the movie). I've never seen the show but wanted to see Gilles Marini. The movie on the surface can be taken as a bit of fluff and the trials and tribulations of the women involved. But I thought about it for a couple of days and deconstructed the movie realizing that the underlying theme really was forgiveness. I explained the movie to my husband and was finally able to say to him, "I forgive you". Our life has never been a bed of roses. I'll always be ill, he'll always be passive/aggressive and impatient with our daughter though she cannot help what she does. But, we'll be married 17 years on September 11th and we'll still be married until the day one of us dies. The good part is that it is no longer only for the sake of our daughter. My wish for the Gosselins is that through some sort of counseling or direction from their pastor, whatever, they can protect their children and find some middle ground where they can learn to love each other again or at least keep the peace. AND, stay away from the darned paparazzi!!!
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Tntitanfan
Member
08-03-2001
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 5:55 am
I will not be watching the show, but will certainly be back here tomorrow to hear what went down!
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Knightpatti
Member
12-06-2001
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 7:09 am
((((Tess))))
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 7:36 am
Well, I checked my DVR availability. Gee shucks, I won't be able to record the big announcement tonight. It clashes with The Closer. Oh well, I guess I'll have to see what y'all say about it here. I watched the show on and off periodically in the early seasons, but could never quite get into it; primarily because of the way Kate snarked at Jon all the time. I'm kinda glad I didn't heavily involved in it now.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 8:17 am
Dh's dad and step mom are alcoholics (closet ones, but we aren't stupid) and they have a really mean dog. A friend of mine visits the restaurant where his step mom works and step mom always complains that they never get to see the girls. I have tried umpteen thousand times to explain it, and the other night we were talking about going away for a weekend, but I said I didn't have a babysitter for an overnight and she said "Just leave them with his dad and step mom" I finally said to her the cliche, "When you have kids you'll understand, you won't leave them there either. Don't try to push me into doing something with my kids I am not comfortable with." Who knows what kate's reasons are. I respect them regardless.
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Panda
Member
07-15-2005
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 8:31 am
This happened to me on Saturday and it quickly made me think of the whole situation with the pic of Kate "swatting" one of the kids while talking on the phone: I was at Sears with DH and DS (who is 3 and often runs away or gets distracted fast). At one point I somehow lost my husband and I was walking around the store but being almost 8 months pregnant, I cannot do it for long without feeling terribly exhausted! So I call my hubby on his cell and was asking him where he was - the connection was bad so I had to say it like 3 times and my son kept yelling at the top of his lungs: I am right here!!! Since I couldn't hear what DH was saying, I quickly snapped at my son : I am NOT talking to you!!!!!! Boy did I get a lot of looks from the people around me.....they probaby thought I was the biggest *B* in the world!!!!!
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 8:51 am
Escapee,Similar here.As I stated in another post,my husbands parents are not an option.However to people who do not know his father,they think he is "The Greatest".Oh they just can't imagine why we won't leave our kids over there.And of course,we are evil parents for not letting the kids spend time there.(The girls are old enough they know whats going on and don't want to go)..And the rare occasion we DO hear from his parents it's to be told we never bring the kids over,why can't the kids spend the weekend? To which we remind them,our address has been the same for 8 years as well as all our phone #s.They may visit under our supervision.So yeah I can see where Kate has a right to pull rank on family visitation.We all remember that Grandparents do not have "rights" for a reason.I know there is the rare situation where grandparents ARE good people and should have rights,but laws and legislation do not go by a few cases,they have to go by the majority.I myself thank God everyday DH's Parents DON'T have rights,or we would be in Canada.. Panda,I had a 1 yr old and was 8 mths pregnant ,and I am sure I got many looks and mean stares back then.(*(*Panda*)*) Many hugs and COLD breezes and Haagen Daaz to you!!
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 8:54 am
Let me rephrase,There is a Rare occasion during Grandparents rights CASES where the grandparents are good people.I re-read my post and I didn't include that,so sorry!! I know grandparents as a whole are wonderful,I was referring to ones that are being evaluated for visitation rights,so sorry I didnt clarify that..Don't kill me grandparents!!
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 9:16 am
Lori your above post at 8:51 is like deja vu. When she complains I say "You know where we live". We invited them over yesterday for a father's day bbq, to which FIL replied to my DH I would but I can't stand your mother in law (meaning my mom) I laughed and said tell your dad I can't stand his wife.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 9:18 am
RIGHT ON RISSA!!!!! Just saw part of an older rerun (where Jon and Kevin are installing storage in the garage). And Kate really does not even give Jon one tiny break. He is doing this task for Kate. Does Kate take the kids downstairs or work on an art project or take them outside in the back to blow bubbles or ANYTHING to keep them from Jon so he and Kevin can get the work done?? NO. She sits them all front and center. With that kind of disrespect, Jon should have went running a long time ago.
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Mamabatsy
Member
08-05-2005
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 9:26 am
Lori, when I read your first post all I could think of was that I must be one of the few good ones since I've been chief babysitter since day one. I knew what you meant, but still it's nice to know my daughter trusts me. 
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, June 22, 2009 - 9:30 am
Shouldn't that be "Right on Lurknomore!" I agree with what you wrote Lurk. I liked Kate a lot more in the begining than I do now. It felt more like teasing toward Jon and cute little comments. But as of late it just seems Kate is so full of Kate, so full of her own celebrity that she feels she can even hit a celebrity cooking star! That she's so cute she can get away with that kind of behavior. Can you imagine slapping Ryan Seacrest? I surely can't. This morning the radio station said it's been confirmed they are filing for divorce. I'm not sure I have the bandwith to tape tonights show -- there's too much on Monday nights.
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