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Archive through June 18, 2009

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: Other Reality Shows ARCHIVES: Archives for 2009 - 3: Jon & Kate ARCHIVES: Archive through June 18, 2009 users admin

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Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 11:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
No one is telling anyone else they MUST spank their children. But it seems that non spankers are going to try to stop other parents from disciplining how they see fit. If someone told me how I should discipline MY child.........well, they are taking a big risk.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 12:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
Spanking.

I'll first say I am not a parent. I never spanked kids when I babysat or was a nanny, tho usually I was told if Johnny does something bad spank him. I don't know if I would or wouldn't spank my kids if I had them. I spanked my puppy once. *runs and hides from Supergranny*

I keep reading "hitting in anger". But if spanking/swatting is a form of discipline, it's NOT being done in anger. It's a consequence. One the kid usually knows. I'm not talking about the people who yank their kids by their arm and way lay them long and hard. I'm talking about the mother or father who knowing nothing else will work swats the child on the patootie. Not in anger but as a consequence.

I couldn't get the Kate spanking thingy to work - at a hotel - but sounds as if her hand made contact with her kids butt and nothing else can be determined. Not how hard, now what attitude, nothing. Of course the kid is going to cry, and of course siblings are going to comfort the crying kid. It's always the kids against the parent(s) when one gets disciplined. Simple as that.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Also, I loathe spanking my kids. I swear it's harder on me than it is on them. BUT, I also know that in my house, it's sometimes necessary. I would never spank another person's child.

Lori32
Member

07-04-2008

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lori32 a private message Print Post    
<--usually cried immediately after spanking one of my girls.
Thank you Serate,good post. I have never spanked a child aside from my own,not even nieces or nephews,even when I was told to.And ESPECIALLY not someone who I provided daycare for,even when they told me to.I would never tell anyone else to spank my child,that is MY right to determine when it is needed.I have forms in the girls school office stating they are NOT to paddle my children,again it is up to me and only me.(And their Daddy,of course.)

Bluejaxrock
Member

04-23-2004

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Bluejaxrock a private message Print Post    
Serate & Escapee, you summed it up for me perfectly. I would never presume to discipline someone else's child. I have two girls, 23 & 10. The 23-year old got swatted once - she was an "easy" child and time-out worked with her. My second - complete opposite. The last resort was a swat on the diaper-padded bottom to get her attention.
My 2-year old granddaughter is into throwing ear-piercing fits, and nothing works, and yesterday I swatted her bottom and sat her in time-out. You have to let kids know that there are consequences to their actions or you'll end up on a Maury show about "I'm afraid of my child"...lol
My husband was beaten as a child. With tree limbs, belts, shoes, whatever his folks could get their hands on. He will not spank, but will smack a hand.
I don't spank like my parents did - mom had a switch or a flyswatter handy at all times and dad was the 'bend over the knee' type. I wasn't abused, I was disciplined.

Florin
Member

08-27-2006

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Florin a private message Print Post    
I hope that if they do get divorced all the money is put in trust for the children and Jon has to go back and get another real job. Then we will see if he can hold that one.

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Happymom a private message Print Post    
I am not judging anyone, I really am not. I'm baffled by this issue of spanking. I am calm and open minded by nature. I'm not directing my post at anyone in particular. I'm not baiting either. I am trying to have a logical calm discussion.

I do not understand the reasoning behind spanking. If your wife or husband or friend or anyone doesn't like something you do, it isn't ok to hit you. If your boss doesn't like what you are doing, or is trying to teach you that something you are doing is not right, it isn't ok to hit you. No matter what. Even if they are not angry with you but just want you to stop doing whatever you are doing, even if it is a somewhat gentle hit on the butt, they are not allowed to hit you.

As for spanking hurts the kid's feeling but not physically, why would anyone want to hurt a kid's feelings?

I was spanked as a kid, and I was never beat, and I still have wonderful relationships with my parents and I turned out ok...pretty well actually. I suffered no long lasting harm because of being spanked. My mom is a retired school psychologist and says if she had known then what she knows now (she did her grad. work when I was a teen) that she would never have spanked us or allowed my dad to spank us.

I just don't understand the reason behind teaching a child to do something or stop doing something or learn something by hitting them.

I don't understand how anyone (including and actually especially children) deserves to be hit, no matter what type of annoying disrespectful behavior they are exhibiting.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
Oh I forgot to put above, I've never spanked my step-kids either. Of course the wrath of the evil wicked stepmom was always worse than a swat or paddle. The youngest 2 were always asking me to spank them instead of me getting quiet and leaving the room! They said spanking would be faster and easier to take than the "sad look" in my eyes.

Never having kids of my own, I have no idea if I would have spanked them or not. It's something I grew up with - even tho I never got spanked my brother and sister did a few times. FEW times. I tend to think there might have been a swat or two when necessary.

My dad never spanked us kids. My mom took care of that field. Come to find out - from my cousins - is my gramma beat all of her kids. If she remembered something that one of the kids had done wrong, and if any one that was involved was w/i arms reach, she'd snatch that arm, pull the kid too her, and start beating. It's not that Dad doesn't believe in spanking. He was just afraid that he would lose control like Gramma and keep spanking.

My mom never spanked me. Being kid #3, I learned from my sister and brother's mistakes. That or I was just born a perfect angel. I prefer to think the latter.

I grew up respecting my parents. There was no whining and crying for something when we went shopping. If Mom and/or Dad said no, that was it. No whining, no moaning, no groaning. No tantrums. Maybe it was because of the few spankings. Maybe it was because of the slaps on the hands when we were little and did something wrong. My folks did not wait until we were 5 years old to say no. My parents were more important to me than my friends, even as a teenager. If I had plans with my friends on Friday and my dad would say at the last minute, wanna go to a movie, I'd cancel my plans with my friends.

I said all that to say, my parents believed in spanking and when it was necessary spanking was done. We didn't grow up to hate our parents. Heck, my brother and I spent 5 1/2 years caring for our bedridden mother. We've both seen things a child should not see of their parent.

Oh this is the J&K+8 thread... um how about get rid of J&K and just have a new show Twins and Sextuplets... and only show them at school or with nannies and such. No more J&K!!!!!

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Happymom a private message Print Post    
Hey Serate, that show idea of yours is a good one! I hope TLC is listening!

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 1:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
Eight Minus Jon and Kate.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Well said Happymom. It really baffles me as well. Sad that it is accepted (and often encouraged) to hit a child. And to try to hurt their feelings? Why would anyone want to harm a child's self esteem? Or hit a child young enough to be in diapers? Whateveh.

Wonder what the next Kate (or Jon) act will be that the paps will devour....

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
<backs slowly out of the thread>

Dfennessey
Member

07-25-2004

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dfennessey a private message Print Post    
Serete I hear you about going to the store. If mom and dad said no you knew not to ask again. I was always thankful that i did not get spanked alot I guess i must of learned early in life.

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
It was sort of funny when I got spanked as a child. Mom always said it hurt her more than it did me. Yeah, right! But looking back I think it really did hurt her more...she always cried when she spanked me. Whatever I got spanked for I never repeated, but managed to be quite creative in new ways to earn a spanking.

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
Scoot...grab me and take me with ya, will ya?

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
<runs back in grabs beekindpleez and the popcorn and heads for the hills>

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
Thank you! I'll bring the cokes.

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Happymom a private message Print Post    
Oh please don't run away. I am hoping someone will discuss this with me. I am not the type to just try to get a response so I can pounce on them. I am very opened minded about everything (Like Cher said about Chastity getting a gender change..."I may not understand but I will be understanding" or something like that.) and I am truly not trying to start up any kind of trouble at all. I am not even trying to debate the spanking issue or trying to tell anyone at all what they should or should not do. I just don't understand the other side's perspective and am hoping they will share it with me.

Re: J and K, the new commercial for next wk's show, I too wonder what the big announcement will be. I tend to think it is all just to pull in the ratings again...and it won't really be anything big. But who knows. It would be very interesting and probably get a lot of ratings if they would show some counseling on the tv show, but true marital counseling never should be shown on tv imo. And no one has mentioned that., I'm just sayin'

Dfennessey
Member

07-25-2004

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dfennessey a private message Print Post    
I would never encourage anyone to spank a child, i sould encourage them to try other means first, time out, grounding them, taking away their favorite things, but sometimes when all else fail i believe a little swat will not hurt, if i ever saw someone beating a child you can bet i would intervien. i

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 2:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
Meet you in my folder Beekindpleez!

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 3:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
Happy...I'm not running from you, darlin'. I respect your posts and understand completely what you are saying.

My personal feeling is that we all parent differently and it's inappropriate to say that one parent's way is wrong, except outside of cases of obvious abuse.

But, listen, if you want to discuss why Kate needs a bodyguard...I'm your girl.

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 3:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
Happy, I can't help but think that if it was a divorce announcement that Jon OR Kate would already have been caught by paps at a different residence (or another bldg on their plot). Because they were just photographed yesterday playing together with the kids on the driveway.....? I can't see that they would wait until the show airs to move out, not with the amount of emotion swirling around that household. I think the announcement will be that this is the last season or that Jon will be leaving the show (not the marriage) but Kate will continue or something along those lines. Something we will all groan about Tuesday morning. LOL

Naja
Member

06-28-2003

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 3:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Naja a private message Print Post    
I was just over at another site and everyone is speculating what the big announcement is going to be...And my favorite one is---

"Kate will be the next Bachelorette!"


LOL

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 3:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
If I did spank my kids, I don't remember and niether do they.
I can't get worked up about a little swat on the bottom when there are precious little ones getting beat or verbally abused even as I type this.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 3:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
It really baffles me as well. Sad that it is accepted (and often encouraged) to hit a child. And to try to hurt their feelings? Why would anyone want to harm a child's self esteem? Or hit a child young enough to be in diapers? Whateveh.

No one is trying to hurt a childs feelings, no one is trying to harm a childs self esteem, we are not encouraging you to hit your children, but we'd appreciate if people wouldn't butt in where your butt doesn't belong when and if and how we choose to discipline OUR children. Discipline and abuse are not the same thing. Case Closed.

I find it BAFFLING that someone would go out of their way to try to make someone else feel guilty over something that has NOTHING to do with them, they do not know the situations, the ins the outs, etc. Easy for someone to say what they would do in their glass house. Close the drapes, it's a different story, so whateveh.

I am happy for those who have never had a difficult child and never faced the issue of to spank or not to spank and had kids who just obeyed. Kudos, I'm jealous.

I know several moms who've never spanked their kids, and their kids are border line, ADD, sociopathic, future jeuvenile hall all stars. Who's parents say "we don't believe in spanking, or forms of discipline that 'may' have lasting effects or may hurt their feelings or may cause him/her to not be able to express themselves" Good luck with that and keep those kids away from mine TYVM. I wonder how many behavioral issues are really disciplinary issues, or lack thereof?

What works in my house may not work in yours. What works in yours may not work in mine, as we obviously all children are different and there are no two personality styles the same. My children are often very well behaved. However, there are times, when they are really pushing the limits and doing things to be directly disobedient, or something dangerous, or just something they know they are not supposed to do (all kids do it, all of them and it's up to a paren to choose to ignore it or not) Kids are rebellious, they test boundries, it is up to a parent to set those boundries and when they are crossed to instill the punishment they see fit. I do not know your child's personality, nor do you know mine. A personality comes from both Nature and Nurture, we all know that.

Comparing a swat by a parent to a child to spousal abuse is a bit far fetched.

I would never encourage anyone to spank a child, i sould encourage them to try other means first, time out, grounding them, taking away their favorite things, but sometimes when all else fail i believe a little swat will not hurt, if i ever saw someone beating a child you can bet i would intervien

TY, that's exactly what I am saying...