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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 11:51 am
It could be worse, I suppose, and she's getting better.
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 11:53 am
One time Shelby threw a tantrum at WalMart when she was little. I just left her on the floor in the middle of the aisle and went and hid behind the endcap (much to the shock and dismay of several people). When Shelby realized her audience had disappeared she dried up really quick and came looking for me. She never threw another tantrum in the store, that's for sure. But she's a drama queen too. I'm sure she believes that we were put on this earth to wait on her while at the same time we are ruining her life. Oh well. She'll have a lot to tell a therapist in her adult years. I know that I frustrate her because I will not tolerate disrespect or poor behavior. I'm such a bad mother.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 11:56 am
Oh! We had a version of that growing up! "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me I'm down in the garden, eating worms!" My 12 year old is a wonderful person and a wonderful kid, but her behavior isn't always. She is a lot like Mady. Her behavior has gotten better with age. She feels emotions very strongly. I think Kate and Jon do a good job with Mady. They let her feel her feelings and realize that is just Mady. They also don't put up with the behavior when it is inappropriate. You have to separate the two and not hold it against them that they have these feelings. Feelings have no should or shouldn't, they are always valid. But how they express the feelings is something they just have to learn to do appropriately. When it seems that Mady is crying over nothing, it isn't nothing to her. Some kids are also just more vocal and persistent. Being strong like that can be a real asset later in life if kids can learn to express that appropriately in a polite and respectful way. I think it is healthier for Mady to not bottle it up. And yes, sometimes that type of behavior is just too much, I have had the limit reached with my daughter and had to put myself in time out until I calm down and tell myself that even though I am angry, I don't have to be. She is just being a kid and wants her way. She's behaving like this because some need is not being met. Gives me a chance to calm down and her too. There a saying "Let the baby cry." Works for adults too. I actually think Kate is extraordinarily patient quite a bit...with the kids. Jon with the kids, not as much, but he does a good job too. They are just different. I do wish Kate would not berate Jon and let him be wrong! So what if his grammar isn't correct! That is the kind of stuff that bugs me about Kate. It isn't good role modeling for the kids either.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 11:56 am
I know half of what Kate is going to face. Raised a GS from puppyhood on. The hair on a GS is not to be believed, plus GS puppies have big teeth. My Gigot tore down the venetian blinds in the house we were renting. Left him home in the house never thinking he'd move heaven and earth trying to get out the windows. Costly error! That poor woman is in for more drama than she bargained for.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 12:05 pm
This book is more for parents of teens: Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall, but I think the title is a good one to give us parents of drama queens and kings of all ages some perspective. They still love us even though they feel were are "making" them have the "worst day ever!"
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 12:13 pm
Happymom I enjoyed reading your post. I think you said what I wanted to say but can never find the right words. I often try to remind myself and DH that DS's feelings are his alone and while his reactions need some work, it's his right to feel the way he feels. Like Kate, we try not to feed into the negative. Trying to explain how his behaviour is wrong in the heat of the moment only increases his mood and is often better resolved after it's said and done.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 1:18 pm
Happymom, I like the honesty of your post very much. I try very hard to never see my son's behavior as deiberately bad. I always saw it as the behavior of someone who was trying to figure out the world. Children come in without any idea of how they are supposed to act. So they try a bunch of stuff growing up - some of it works, some doesn't. Some is more desirable (as defined by adults), some not so much. So when he threw a tantrum, I never saw him as willful. I saw him as frustrated. He simply hadn't yet learned that we can't always have what we want when we want it. So I would go cheerfully about the grocery store as he wailed in the cart, and I would sing and generally ignore him. Then when he quit, I would be sure to reward him with praise. He only had very few tantrums in life, because he learned that they had no functional value. Pretty much the same for the "woe is me" behavior. I would quietly validate his feelings, "I'm sorry you are feeling so unloved. That must feel awful." But I would not give him anything other than knowing that I cared about his feelings. Again, the behavior went away very quickly because there was no reward in it, except acknowledging that sometimes he felt that way. I didn't make him feel like there was anything wrong with feeling that way, or that we should fix it. Heck, even adults feel that way sometimes! The other thing us 'old-school' psychologists learned was to meet emotion with emotion. It does no good to talk to an emotional child with logic. They are not in their logical mind, they are in an emotional mind. You can't reason them out of the irrational. Just acknowledge and move on and wait till they are logic-brained again. 
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 2:03 pm
Very interesting discussion! Yes, I've found that acknowledging the sad feeling will often make them go away. "oh, that would make me feel so sad too. I'm sorry you're feeling sad." etc. But at other times it would just egg her on to get even more dramatic and weep on and on about how horrible things are. It's tricky! Oh, and I too can't wait until Kate's dogs blow their undercoat. She's going to croak at how much they shed! Hair, hair everywhere!!! LOL!
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 2:05 pm
My guess is that they'll shave the dogs. That's what my neighbors do with their GS and their AS.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 2:09 pm
GS undercoat, thy name is HELL!
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 - 2:41 am
They need a large FURminator! I think they have a pretty nice setup with that big basement that opens directly outside. I do hope the breeder will give them lots of information and training advice; that really is something a good breeder should and will do. And hey, have the GSDs will help prepare them for having 8 teenagers down the road.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 - 9:58 am
Oh please tell me my teenager is not going to shed like my mixed-GSD! 
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 - 12:01 pm
Whoa, that was weird today. I told you guys the other day about a dog my friend's kids named "egg" and called him "Eggy", and then today on the View one of the dogs in the mutt show was named "Eggy".
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 - 5:52 pm
RMAO, Brenda! I suspect they shed some, but more like climbing the walls and trashing the place.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 - 6:01 pm
Oh, I forgot that Gigot also chewed out the front seat of the neighbor's car. GS's and puppyhood can be very stressful. I can't imagine taking on two of them.
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Kellirippa
Member
07-10-2002
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 8:16 am
Is anybody else feeling uncomfortable with the show since all the controversy about this "octuplet mom" and people questioning her motive for having 8 more children on top of the 6 she already had... and now that Jon & Kate have moved into their beutiful new upscale home.. I just don't feel the same about watching this show about this family anymore.. When they had their first special and they started the series, Jon had a job, Kate was still a part time nurse to make ends meet, they lived in a very modest home and were greatful for any help they could get, but after 3 or 4 seasons of a reality show, neither Jon or Kate any longer have jobs, the family has been shown taking several lavish trips, they're now in their 3rd home and this one is rather grand and on some idilic piece of land, Kate's had a tummy tuck, John hair plugs, the children have had their special days at facilities that appear to close down just for them... Not to mention how many other reality shows based on large families have sprung up.. I think the show was originally meant to be a look inside to satisfy the curiosity of all the people who wondered, what would that be like? The show is popular, but the question is slighty different, not just what would it be like to have 2 sets of multiples, but what would it be like to have 2 sets of multiples and a popular TV show? And the answer is now, well, it's pretty lucrative and cool.. It's gotten to be more about this celebrity family, and it's just not as endearing to me any more..
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Supergranny
Member
02-03-2005
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 9:18 am
ITA Kellirippa.
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Scooterrific
Member
07-08-2005
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 9:48 am
Very well put kellirippa
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Kellsma
Member
08-28-2002
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 10:30 am
I agree as well. Many say good for them for getting all that they have gotten but it just makes me think of those "normal" people out there that may have many kids who are really struggling with real life, don't have their own reality show and are given free lavish trips and lots of free items. It makes me wonder if the mom of octuplets was possibly going for the same thing. My sister-in-law works at the hospital and was involved in the birth and a well before the birth was announced, we knew that someone was in the hospital, was having 7-8 babies, had no husband and already had 6 kids and most people at the hospital were very upset about the whole thing and were not supportive of her at all.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 11:04 am
No, I don't have a problem watching the show. I don't think Jon and Kate had their children to become rich and famous. If the octomom had her babies as a way to get 'rich and famous' she is more delusional than she already appears to me. People being influenced by tv and the media is a hot topic. Which is the chicken, which is the egg? Does tv influence people to make stupid decisions or does tv just report the stupid choices that people make?
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 11:09 am
Seems to me that the public "demanded" to see more of this family. If nobody watched it, the family would still be in their small house, and both parents working and struggling. If someone would pay ME to videotape here, I'd take everything they offered. I still love this show and think if it has indeed "jumped the shark" it's the viewers own fault.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 11:37 am
yep, last i checked, i wasn't being forced to watch. LOL
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 12:59 pm
I agree with you two as well. I watch because I enjoy watching the progression. At first it was mostly curiosity about what life was like for them. That is still the basics of why I watch. The fact that throughout the years they have made money doing the show does not bother me. Their family is still their family and they still face the same family issues that I face. Maybe they have more money now but it doesn't change the core. There was/is a demand for the show to continue and they obviously have obliged. I would imagine that if Kate did not want cameras in her house anymore she would say so. Possibly she is continuing right now for the money, but I can almost be sure that if she was truly finished we would know.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 1:59 pm
I enjoy the show.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 2:26 pm
I enjoy this show. Sure J/K were blindsided having 6 instead of two for the second pregnancy, but they also planned ahead for their children and they stopped after those two pregnancies. Nadya has had 6 pregnancies that produced babies, plus she says many attempts to become pregnant that failed. She already had six children under 7 when she got pregnant this time, three with special needs, she didn't have a job, she was sponging off her parents, getting ss for three kids, foodstamps and supposedly believing that she could use student loans to support her family, while attending school and dumping her kids at the school day care. Even after the octuplets were born she was saying that. I seriously doubt that the college daycare could just absorb all of her non school age kids, including toddler twins and 6 babies under a year, should she try to return to school in the fall. She seems to not have prepared much at all, but expects people to just help out. So no.. her situation doesn't make me turn from Jon and Kate who are bringing up their beautiful children in a nice environment and enriching their experiences with trips to zoos, Disneyworld, church, pre-school, etc. I sure don't mind a weekly dose of kid giggles and shrieks and even Mady's 'tude .. In our family my brother was the more volatile one.. he was a world class pouter and could be cranky. (he's grown out of that rather nicely, I might add).
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