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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 4:33 pm
Texannie, you know my post doesn't refer to a single thing about hair styles, birthdays, or household organization. In fact, I think Kate is simply stunning lately (and I think she's always been pretty). None of those content issues are relevant. This is my line of work and I feel it is appropriate to comment on what is evident in their relationship with one another - at the process level (i.e. the *way* they communicate). Research - and a decade of experience - tells me that the type and amount of negative interactions between these two is the worst of the worst. Contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling are called the "4 Horseman of the Apocalypse" in marriage for a reason, and you can see ample amounts of each of them in any episode. It would take an exorbitant amount of positive interactions to overcome that amount of negative interaction (about every negative needs 5 positives to repair). I see very few repair attempts between the two either. Maybe that happens behind closed doors, but that is highly doubtful as well.
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Onlyhuman
Member
08-04-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 4:35 pm
Interestingly, Spygirl, I see that Kate HAS tried to make some changes, at least with respect to the kids. She seems to be trying to ease up and not be so obsessive about them being clean and matching and so forth. However, with respect to Jon, I think that her behavior has gotten progressively worse in conjunction with his. As he has become more martyrish, expressing his frustration with Kate to the camera and such, she has become even more aggressive. It's not pleasant to watch them both spiraling down in such a negative way. With respect to the "Go Green" show, one thing to keep in mind is that they were filming 2 shows simultaneously. My impression is that the producers of the show asked Jon and Kate to film an episode for the show in the hopes that it would get people interested in Renovation Nation and The Discovery Networks newest cable channel, Planet Green. This is not something Kate was looking to do, it didn't seem to fit with her interests, and Steve Thomas kept trying to get Kate involved when she didn't want to be. Personally, I love remodeling, new projects and I am especially fascinated by solar energy, but I know people who are not and would rather it all just go away, even if they end up liking the final results. I found lots of Kate's comments and actions to be similar to those of my BF who is currently having her living room remodeled to fit the big screen TV her husband purchased.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 4:44 pm
Spy, I was including comments from an article that was posted in my comments. You are right, you are defiitely more qualified than I am to comment on people you have never met.
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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 4:54 pm
What do you think the assessment part of therapy is? It is observing process and trust me - this show displays their process. It is even better, actually, because people tend to "present well" in therapy. Your sarcasm is noted.
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Mgmriver
Member
04-27-2009
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:06 pm
I don't think you need to be a professional therapist to see that Jon and Kate are in marital disfunction. Neither seems to love the other and Kate publicly choose the TV show over her husbands pleads to stop. That says a lot and the money hasn't been able to buy them love. They could live like regular families and might have to struggle financially. Personally I've watched the show from the start and I never got the "we are in love" vibe. It was always about the kids and that meant their relationship ended as the loser.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:14 pm
Spygirl, I enjoyed reading your perspective on J and K. Thanks for giving your professional opinion. I hope you will watch the show tonight at some point in time and post about it here.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:14 pm
I agree. They have serious problems. Sure the producers can edit a story to make something appear a certain way but it would be hard to edit this into something other than what they have shown - it is that extreme. It's too bad.
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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:23 pm
I hope tonight's episode will show the beginning of repair efforts from both of them. They are so important to those kiddos and working through their marital difficulties is paramount.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:27 pm
I think homeschooling the kids is a horrible choice right now. I think a bit of normal is probably a welcome joy to them. Being away from the bickering, the sarcastic, nasty tone of mom, the martyrdom of dad, interacting with peers is a good thing. I'm sure the older girl who has the tantrums probable behaves a lot differently in a classroom settings. She'd probably just get worse at home 24x7.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:41 pm
Spy, you noted incorrectly. I am truly hurt that you would make that assumption.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:45 pm
Brenda, as I see it there will be nothing 'normal' for the older girls in a school setting this year. Kids can be cruel and you can count on it that some of them will let the twins have it with both barrels.
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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:46 pm
My apologies for misunderstanding your intended meaning, Texannie. It seemed like a dig that I would not be qualified to speak about their interaction simply because I don't know them personally. Thank you for clarifying.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:49 pm
Oh i think homeschooling now (short term) would be great. Though maybe summer break will be enough. Think of how much grief is in this thread alone. Can u imagine what grief Cara and Mady would get at school? 4th graders are pretty sophisticated these days and those kids are just too "front and center" right now. I hope two things. One is that J&K can smooth things over and "get back together." However I truly doubt that can happen. Two is that they realize that all this publicity and public viewing is so bad for them and so not worth the money.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:51 pm
I have been watching the shows today as well, and I tend to agree that Kate has gotten a little more negative with Jon. I think she is fabulous with the kids, but the later shows she is showing much more impatience with Jon. They used to be playful when they did the interviews and interrupted each other. Now it seems like Kate wants to do all the talking and doesn't like it when Jon expresses himself. Of course, he does seem to roll his eyes and he is more visably dissing her as well. I hope they can work it out, but I think it will be very hard for them to do it while on the show. And I can't see them giving up the show because as others have pointed out, they have to have a certain level of income to support the house and family. Do we know if they have a mortgage on the house? Also, I someone said Kate was talking about homeschooling the kids, I think that is a very bad idea, those kids need to be exposed to the routine of school and different situations without the cameras. I think kindergarten and regular school will be the best for the kids especially while their parents try to figure out their marriage. Oh and do we know where she said that she would homeschool?
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:52 pm
PHEW....Ok,I have been just as quick to "fly off" in my posts as anyone,but I think we are all taking out our disappointment,concern and personal feelings and experiences out on one another.We are all different,we all have our own personalities and opinions,(What a boring world it would be if we didn't).But why don't we all take a deep breath and think really hard before we type,after all you cannot take back what we have already put out there.Myself included. Can anyone tell I am not a fan of tension?
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:54 pm
Julie,I was thinking the same thing. Homeschooling would be the best thing possible IMO. Or even a private tutor? After all,the 'tups will also be starting school this year full time and I think the swirl of controversy would not be the best environment to send them out into the world with on their shoulders.FWIW
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:56 pm
Oh and I meant to say that I do believe if Kate puts her mind to it she can save her marriage, I am just not sure she wants to or that Jon wants to and frankly that is probably none by business, LOL. It has nothing to do with why I watch the show, I love the watching the interaction of the kids and hope they can keep their adult problems out of the show.
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Supergranny
Member
02-03-2005
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 5:59 pm
LOL Lori...this isn't tension!! This is getting ready for the Big Brother thread!
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Lori32
Member
07-04-2008
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 6:09 pm
true,granny,this is SO true..LOL!!
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Countrydaze
Member
11-07-2003
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 6:10 pm
Without the little ones home during the day, what would they film. Could it be that is why Kate wants to home school them, just to keep the show going? Spy I appreciate your insight and look forward to hearing what you have to say about tonights show.
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Mgmriver
Member
04-27-2009
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 6:12 pm
Supergranny, ROTFLMAO about the BB thread. I can't wait!
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 6:15 pm
Countrydaze, I think they would just film on the weekends and it would probably be going places, but they could also film them coming home from school. Oh, and doing homework, I think that they could probably come up with a lot of stuff, and it is true they will be filming over the summer so by the time school starts I would think their filming schedule would be over. Does anyone know how long they film? Once they start?
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Countrydaze
Member
11-07-2003
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 6:36 pm
Is it me or does Kate act so much better with Jon gone?
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Kellsma
Member
08-28-2002
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 6:55 pm
Dipo I read that they film almost year round and I know they did 40 episodes last season and have 40 planned for this season. There is not much time between seasons so I think it is almost nonstop. They have been doing this since 2007 I think and this is Season 5. The first couple of seasons were not that many episodes but as the seasons progressed, the number of episodes grew.
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Flamingo
Member
08-19-2003
| Monday, May 25, 2009 - 7:17 pm
wow, that was uncomfortable.
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