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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 8:04 pm
We're in public schools and they do make the kids ask to be excused from the table so the lunch ladies can make sure they ate something. I've eaten in there several times and seen them tell a kid to eat "more". Thankfully I don't have to ask to be excused. LOL.
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Keldogg
Member
08-12-2005
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 8:40 pm
No dessert is a "punishment"? Wow, CPS should have taken me away from my parents!
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 8:46 pm
The sextuplets are like so many other kids their age...they'll eat what they want in school and in what ever order they want. Although with the sextuplets there will always be one or two that may tattle on the others. It's a common issue parents have with their kids...eating healthfully. I believe that the chat Kate had with the kids was scripted as was Kate not realizing she didn't have to make a bagged lunches for the kids. Scripted and planned the storyline for the episode and it was probably planned weeks earlier just like the wedding vow renewal, like the camp out and every other episode. It wasn't not a reality show and it was not a documentary...it's something other...that I don't have a name for.
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Onlyhuman
Member
08-04-2001
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 9:16 pm
OMG...I just realized that there were even more examples of Kate's controlling nature on the show last night. She had the children's feet MEASURED and made sure the shoes FIT before she bought them. Any good mom would have just let the kids chose whatever size they wanted. She forced the kids to buy velcro shoes. What if they like the look of tie shoes? How damaged are they going to be if they don't have the FREEDOM to wear tie shoes??? Clearly that's an example of abuse! AND OMG...she went into the twins' room when they weren't there. Doesn't she know that a child's room should be off limits to the parents unless the parent is invited in by the child? Clearly her controlling nature wouldn't let them live in the messy environment they so crave. I bet she won't let those kids stick things into the outlets. She is so controlling that she won't let her kids experience the thrill of the electrical shock first hand.

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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 9:17 pm
CPS doesn't let parents punish their kids?! That's news to me! LOL. Punishment doesn't equal abuse. I've not said Kate was abusive. Withholding dessert because a child doesn't clean their plate is a practice as old as time. I don't happen to agree that it creates healthy eating habits.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 10:36 pm
Using food as a punishment or reward is a bad idea IMO because I think it can lead to unhealthy eating habits. Of course, every parent is different and kids won't necessarily be affected for life based on one or two things their parents do or don't do.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 10:59 pm
When my kids were in elementary they bought half the time and took lunch the other half. Whenever they took lunch, I always made them bring home whatever they hadn't eaten, especially in the early grades (1st/2nd) when they were pretty new to eating at school and having lunch recess. First, their lunch time was determined by grade level, 1st grade was eating around 10:45-11, so they weren't real hungry at that time, plus in a hurry to get out to recess and play. And while the aides were supposed to check how much they were eating, they rarely did. So kids had to bring home their lunches and finish them here (or at the last recess when they could snack.) Now in jr high I trust them to eat when they're hungry. Dakota has decided the best thing for her (her lunch time is from 10:30 - 11:15, bit early to eat a meal) is to take a sandwich and eat that at lunch time, then a piece of fruit at their break later in the day, and either crackers or raw veggies after her last class of the day. Caleb buys a salad and eats that, but his lunch break is quite a bit later than hers. Maybe I was controlling through elementary school about lunches, but now as older kids both of them have learned what works for them and make pretty healthy choices so I think something worked.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 3:36 am
and then they get to high school and you just have to hope they make somewhat of a healthy food choice..LOL
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 4:51 am
Encouraging kids to make healthy food choices is not using food as a reward or punishment. When you are at a restaurant with your kids and they say they want ice cream for dinner, what is your response? Why sure sweetie anything you want? or After you finish dinner?
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Mindeegap
Member
07-20-2009
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 6:53 am
I have always packed my kids lunches. My youngest is a Senior in High School and I still pack his lunch every day because he tells me he would just eat fries every day if I didn't. I also ask him to bring home what he doesn't eat. It helps me to see what is getting eaten and ideas on what to keep packing or not pack. I also don't want old food sitting and growing legs in his locker or back pack so it's just normal for him to come home and leave on the counter anything he didn't eat. Sometimes I throw it out, sometimes I eat it myself. Most of the time there's nothing left, I know he ate or shared and it wasn't wasted. I've heard stories from his friends about highest bidders at his lunch table for some of the stuff I pack for him. LOL! By now I'm a pro at packing lunch and there's usually nothing left, besides he's a teenage boy that will eat most anything and if he doesn't', there's a table full sitting with him that will. Can't believe a big deal is being made over a Mom packing lunches for her kids. Damn all of us lunch packing Moms to hell!!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 7:08 am
I don't believe in forcing a child to finish what is on her plate (main course) so that she gets the "reward" of having dessert. Our kids eat a very well balanced diet but we don't force them to eat stuff. Both my wife and I love to cook and the kids just enjoy their meals. IMO, the bigger the deal a parent makes out of eating "good food" the more resistance there is to it.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 7:17 am
Kate has shown herself to be a flawed person like the rest of us but this lunch business is not one of her flaws.
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 7:25 am
At my house you are "forced" to try at least some of what is on your plate but you still get dessert...but if you choose to eat dessert before you eat a respectable amount then you don't get to snack later on in the evening. Unless it is something like a piece of fruit.
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Mindeegap
Member
07-20-2009
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 7:35 am
Jimmer, I agree with you on that. There are things I don't like and I realize there are things that each or my kids don't like so they would never be forced to eat something they didn't like. I've also never been the parent to say you have to eat everything on your plate. There are times, even if it's my favorite food, I just can't eat it all. But I don't want them to waste a plate full of good food either just to in turn have a dessert. I remember a lunch room lady from my elementary school days, that would walk around the lunch room and yell at us to eat everything on our plates. So many of us rushed to stuff as much as we could into our empty milk cartons before she made her next round. I remember my heart beating so fast with fear that she would catch me and make me eat all that food I had stuffed in my milk carton! I would never want my kids to feel fear associated with food in any way. But I have a feeling Kate is more like me in my last post than the lunch room lady. I think being Moms, we stress over budgeting for groceries and wasting food and come off as crazier than we really are. Thank goodness, I don't have people judging me over the things I yell to my kids as they walk out the door....turn your lights on if your windshield wipers are on! Drive slower, the roads are a little wet this morning!!! Man, Kate's going to be a scrutinized b-word for a long time if she's anything like me.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 7:50 am
Mindeegap, you would have people judging you if you put your family daily life on a tv show. That's the nature of putting yourself out for the public to see.
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Scooterrific
Member
07-08-2005
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 8:28 am
To this day my sister and I still leave a bite on our plate to make up for having to clean our plates when we were younger.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 8:31 am
Yes, Putting your family on TV opens you up to every nit picky thing people want to talk about including how you parent. Kate has used food as a reward with her kids. I don't think it's a wise or healthy thing to do. Not great parenting to me. I seem to recall an episode where a few of the boys didn't finish their lunch and weren't able to eat some fancy cupcake that went in the trash. I'm quite confident that most caring lunch-packing moms want to see what their kids ate because they intended to cater the lunch to what their kids liked or actually ate. I'm trying to recall a time when I've seen Kate cater to anyone's tastes except her own! This is all about control for Kate, the self-professed control freak. I can just hear her now: "Aiden, you didn't eat your sandwich yesterday, so no crispy treat for you!" Mindee-- I never had the lunch lady do that to me, but I remember her doing it to a class mate and watching him stuff his milk carton with corn. LOL. Amazing how those moments stay in our mind.
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 8:45 am
I'm going to be honest here...if I had 8 children (well, to be perfectly honest if I had 8 children I would probably be institutionalized somewhere) I would do whatever it takes to get them to eat anything...bribery, threats, whatever! I might feed them cupcakes for breakfast if it meant that they would get out of the house with something in their stomach! I would be forced to pack them a lunch because I sure couldn't afford to pay for them to eat out every day (and my daughter has forced me to make her lunches for years because she says that it takes too long to get through the lines and she prefers to visit with her friends...darn her!...I've tried bribing her into buying and she only just started doing so this year because on Fridays they have Cici's Pizza...I lOVE FRIDAYS!).
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Kittyab
Member
07-15-2005
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 9:12 am
I pack my daughter's lunch. I have punished her for acting up. Lock me up and throw away the key!
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 9:14 am
Twiggyish stated: and then they get to high school and you just have to hope they make somewhat of a healthy food choice..LOL ...and then they get a car and become a junk food junkie! All the work/control Kate is doing now will be for naught. She might as well relax and save herself that one chore of checking what they ate.
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Onlyhuman
Member
08-04-2001
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 10:20 am
I think in life you have to pick your battles, certainly. But I don't think that you can just assume that your kids will eat well when they are away from you for the first time. Do we see Kate checking the twins' lunchboxes every day? No, it's not an issue. However, setting out the rules at the beginning and checking that they are being enforced, at the beginning, is much more effective than trying to resolve the problem later on. My mentor teacher told me 20+ years ago...Start as you mean to go on. We have 3 and 4 year olds that walk out of class and just hand off everything to their parents. We'll stop them and make the kids hold their own things. Parents are always so thankful and we get told time and again how their older ones just come and dump their things on the parents, which we see all the time. Don't let bad habits develop, which is what I think Kate is trying to do.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 10:41 am
You got that right Cricket!! ROFL!! My Em is healthy. She stays on the petite side of things. (Even with that donut her boyfriend buys her every morning before school!) I'm not worried about it. She's a good student and a good kid! =D
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 10:50 am
Just throwing this out for thought: There was a study a few years back that showed that children brought up in "organized and structured" homes were more successful in life than those growing up in homes that were in disarray. Kate is clearly OCD, and having a lifelong friend who is very similar, I have some empathy for her. Last time my friend visited for a week, she sorted all my frozen vegetables alphabetically "so they would be easier to find". Um, okay. Wasn't really a problem for me to find them before. LOL I often felt bad for her two boys, and felt she was way too hard on them. But now one in the military and one in college and they are very successful and doing really well in life. I dont' really see how they were damaged by her rigidity - altho I often feared they would be.
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Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 10:59 am
Kar, I'm curious. How do the boys feel about their mother? Are they resentful how she treated/raised them?
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Kittyab
Member
07-15-2005
| Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 11:27 am
Onlyhuman, I was reading your earlier post. I do the same thing. Alison can not eat her desert till she ate most of her dinner. Esp she has to finish her veggies. At my daughter's school I have to provide the meals which if fine by me at least I know what she is eating. At her dayhome I found out they were giving her all junk & processed foods. I will not fault another mother for wanting to make sure her kids eat balanced meals. I can fault a father parading his girlfriends around. How much was the ring that he gave to Hailey? BTW why did Jon halt the divorce proceedings?
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