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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 11:09 am
Yay! Hooray! Whoo Hoo and Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! The Nipper is back! A fine holiday week gift! So so so glad to see you, Huk'd!
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 11:14 am
Hiya Beek! I haven't signed in, in a couple of months, but I was still watching certain threads. Been VERY busy with my business, not much time anyways for posting
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 11:16 am
In the past I too regarded Jon as the better parent. Now, I'm not sure what to think of him, but previously I think he was more attuned to them, more involved with them, more connected to them emotionally. And they to him. So, my heart does ache for them that he seems to be gone so much now and distracted by his new life. I ache for the children as well, Brenda and that's why it's so hard to see Jon being pushed out of their lives. It doesn't matter who he sees or what he does in his personal time, when he is with his children, he is there for them and they need that love and attention. I don't feel he's so distracted by his new life he doesn't have time to co-parent the children 50% of the time, as it was originally set up; however, since he stopped the filming of his children, his rights have changed and now he will only be allowed to see them occasionally. I remember some of us discussing how it would work out with Jon/Kate sharing the house so the children aren't disturbed. I had a strong feeling Kate would win out in the end and she did. I do think children should be with their mother primarily, but in this case they had an opportunity to do 50/50 and at this time, it would have been wonderful for the children.
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 11:18 am
back atcha, Huk!
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 11:35 am
FROM ETONLINE: Jon Gosselin was greeted by HTV cameras as he was returning to the mainland from his trip to Hawaii and answered questions about his bachelor life, revealing that he is giving up his trademark Ed Hardy style. "I'm single. That's why I don't live here," Jon joked about not living in Hawaii. "I can't wait to get home to my kids." Following a Funny or Die sketch, the father of eight told HTV that he has thrown out the Ed Hardy T-shirts and taken out the cubic zirconium earrings.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 11:59 am
How can you say Jon doesn't meet the requirements of 'good enough? He didn't even want shared custody. That tells me all I need to know.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:01 pm
He didn't even want shared custody. That tells me all I need to know. Who said Jon didn't want shared custody? After the lawsuit by TLC and all the bad media, might he think he couldn't get it?
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Onlyhuman
Member
08-04-2001
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:03 pm
I don't feel he's so distracted by his new life he doesn't have time to co-parent the children 50% of the time, as it was originally set up; however, since he stopped the filming of his children, his rights have changed and now he will only be allowed to see them occasionally. Evidently, Jon does not agree with your assessment because he chose not to pursue a 50/50 split. He has no problem disputing the monetary divide, but he willingly gives up primary custody to Kate. Custody rights have nothing to do with the show. It's a choice Jon has made, and an interesting one considering how he claims that Kate has somehow harmed them by allowing them to be filmed. If he really believed that Kate was under the control of TLC and a threat to his children, you would think he would fight tooth and nail to get primary custody and yet he doesn't. However, he still continues to battle over the money. That says a great deal about his priorities.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:06 pm
On CNN in October Jon stated he had joint full custody and therefore he could choose whether he wanted his children filmed or not. Not long after, Kate filed for full custody. It's not that Jon didn't want joint custody, it's that TLC and Kate's lawyers are more powerful than he is even with his new representation.
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Terolyn
Member
05-06-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:15 pm
I am not sure how the laws work over there but when my kids were little, even though I had full custody, if my ex objected to things he felt were detrimental for our daughters(over seas trip with girl scouts) then they could not do it. I would assume it is the same but one never knows.
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:15 pm
LOL Cricket....nobody said they believed it...just that it was out there. I don't believe the sex tape thing either...okay the thought of it makes me cringe.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:25 pm
Sabbatia, if it's posted even as rumor, people believe it. Lol @ the image of the sex tape. Ewwwe.
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Onlyhuman
Member
08-04-2001
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:35 pm
Jon's lawyers seem perfectly capable of continuing to fight Kate's lawyers over monetary issues. Why are they suddenly incapable of fighting over the custody of the children? Jon has filed a lawsuit against TLC, it doesn't seem like he is all that frightened of them. Why did he just give in on full custody issues? Why is he afraid to go to battle for his children, but not for money?
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:36 pm
FWIW here in CA a judge is more likely to grant custody to the parent who is most willing to share the kids. If one doesn't want to share children and there is no cause for concern regarding the other parent being a fit parent, it shows selfishness and using the children to hurt the other parent. Judges frown BIG time on that. Children are not tools.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:36 pm
FROM ETONLINE: Jon Gosselin was greeted by HTV cameras as he was returning to the mainland from his trip to Hawaii and answered questions about his bachelor life, revealing that he is giving up his trademark Ed Hardy style. "I'm single. That's why I don't live here," Jon joked about not living in Hawaii. "I can't wait to get home to my kids." Following a Funny or Die sketch, the father of eight told HTV that he has thrown out the Ed Hardy T-shirts and taken out the cubic zirconium earrings.
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:40 pm
I truly believe Jon no longer wanted shared custody. I do not think that Kate, TLC or her lawyers could have influenced him against fighting for that if he truly wanted it, and I do think he would have been granted shared custody if that was what the court was presented with. He absconded from that position for some reason, and I am sure there will be a lot of speculation as to why. In my opinion he simply chose not to fight for his children. Perhaps he decided that it would have been too long, too expensive and too bloody and too detrimental for the children. But he gave up. And in doing so I lost what little shred of respect I had for him.
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Cinnamongirl
Member
01-10-2001
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:41 pm
Who said Jon didn't want shared custody? After the lawsuit by TLC and all the bad media, might he think he couldn't get it? Did he try for it?? I would think if he wanted it, he would have gotten it. Surely being the father is bigger than a TLC lawsuit... He doesn't seem the type to just take what they offer him... My thought is he didn't want it bad enough. He comes first, not his kids
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 12:52 pm
Of all of the divorced people I know, kids of divorce I see, I have yet to see even a single family where the custody was 50/50. I have absolutely no concept of how that would even work! Or of how disruptive it could be. 95% of the families I know, the kid lives with the mom full time and the dad has every other weekend and dinner one night a week. The two families I'm aware of where the dad had custody, he was a control freak and one mom moved to another state and saw her kids only in the summer and I never found out what happened to the other mom (I think every other weekend). The shared custody always seemed like a pipe dream to me. Kate may say it's the kid's house, but it's really her house, her master suite. I wonder if Jon will sleep in the garage apt when it's his weekend? And where will Kate go? Friends will likely tire of having her every other weekend. It's fine during the heat of a divorce, but for the long haul maybe not.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 1:00 pm
Cricket, he could have gotten shared *legal* custody without shared *physical* custody. That tells me he's not even interested in shared decision making, let alone shared parenting. And he didn't *fight* for them, either way. That tells me he just isn't interested. And Brenda, now you know ONE divorced person who did it 50/50 all the way. And yes it is difficult, but certainly quite possible if you put your children first.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 1:33 pm
Can you explain how it works Karuuna? Do both parents have a home very near the school and each other? The kids have two residences? Maybe I'm just hung up on the physical custody side of it, but it seems like it would be really hard on the kids to keep going back and forth.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 1:48 pm
I didn't know any who actually had 50/50 as well.I've read about them and with this big a brood, it would be hard on them to have to go to two houses. Karuuna, I'm just curious how you know that Jon didn't want shared legal custody? Everything he has stated said that is what he wants. His first protest was when Kate didn't want hime there but 2 hours on the twin's birthdays. He stated: "Kate is trying to change the custody agreement." I have never seen him say he didn't want joint legal and physical custody. Kate filed for full legal custody and I think she won..simple as that. How in the world is he supposed to fight with the media and everyone dragging him into the mud; whereas Kate is more shielded and protected by TLC. How can he fight that? If, because he now lives in NY and they both realized the children couldn't be going there 1/2 the week, Jon conceded Kate could have them at their home, I understand that and it doesn't make Jon a lesser father in my eyes. I do wish he would move back to PA and he may eventually do so; however, right now he lives in NY. It's important to TLC for Kate to have full custody. There are reports they have a new show scheduled for her coming next spring. I don't know if the children are included or not.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 1:56 pm
Brenda, we lived about 10 miles apart at first, and yes, my DS went back and forth. And yes, it was hard on him, but *I* really felt like he needed a dad more than every other weekend. It takes a lot of work to make sure they feel like they have two *homes* and aren't *visiting* each! Divorce is hard on kids, period. I would have preferred to have primary physical custody and shared legal custody. But my ex wanted to be a dad, and I thought he should have great access to that! That's what's BEST, IMO. Cricket, if he wanted shared legal custody, he could have fought for it. There was no requirement for him to agree to the arbitration, it's not the same as a court ruling. Had he contested it, that's what we would have heard. I don't care what stories there are. If you love your children, and you want to be their dad, you fight. Period. Don't just roll over and play dead! And he *chose* to move away, just like I believe he *chose* to not fight for custody. All I see is someone talking a good story, but not walking the talk.
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Ahnicka
Member
08-08-2007
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:03 pm
How in the world is supposed to fight with the media and everyone dragging him into the mud; whereas Kate is more shielded and protected by TLC. How can he fight that? Jon couldn't be dragged through the so-called mud if he didn't give them so much ammo. It is his own actions that the media is reporting on, it can't be that so hard to see or acknowledge. He's doing the stuff, not the media; him. He's responsible for his own actions. Secondly, if it's true that "Kate is more shielded and protected by TLC," she is still responsible for her own actions. Kate is acting far more mature and mannerly, Jon is not. That has absolutely nothing to do with who is perceived to be protected more. An individual is responsible for their own actions. Can't blame Jon's bad behavior on protection, or lack there of, or on media or Kate. That's all Jon. How can he fight that? By stopping his ridiculous and immature behavior. Just stop it. The media isn't getting much on Kate because she's not acting like an imbecile so they have to resort to ridiculous fallacies about how she treated Jon, or how she dabs at her eyes before tears fall, or Mady didn't get water right away, or Aunt-and-Uncle-Money-Seekers said this or that, etc. etc. Well the media wouldn't have much on Jon either if he'd stop acting like such a dolt. At some point there are no excuses for Jon and he has to take responsibility for his own behavior. He, his camp, or media or whatever can't keep blaming everything and everyone else for his behavior. It just doesn't make sense. It's his; he owns it, and needs to genuinely take ownership of it.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:05 pm
By the way, a court couldn't care less about TLC and the dragging thru the mud and all of that. My experience, having been through this myself and with several friends, is that unless she can prove he is either abusive or an addict, he would have qualified for shared *legal* custody at least. And TLC could not have prevented that, no attorney could.
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:07 pm
My neighbor does it. He has the kids half the time...or more and the mother has them half the time. They both live in the same town so it isn't a huge deal for either of them. The kids seem happy,well adjusted and well behaved. They are laughing all the time. The articles and the lawyer said Kate has primary custody. That doesn't mean the visitation isn't liberal. We have no information on that part of it.
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