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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 10:02 am
I think one reason why it seemed like he was repeating himself over and over was because they played the same damn clip of him saying he was unhappy before every commercial break! LOL
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 12:05 pm
I know Kate likes Jon working from home, but that doesn't always work for some people, maybe he needs more socializing with others. It might help if he had an office he could go to to work.
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Tess
Member
04-13-2001
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 3:40 pm
Jon working from home is part of the problem. He's not really "working" in his former capacity. He may be only half Korean, but you have to realize that it is inbred over thousands of years that it is HIS job to provide for his family whereas Kate does almost all of the upfront work. A parallel example I can give is that my sister's partner of over 10 years is 100% Chinese, born and raised in Shanghai. He moved to the USA as an adult, worked hard, bought a house and brought his mother here. She used to go back and forth spending half the year in China with one son and the other half here with our's. We consider him to be as much a part of the family as if he and my sister were married as they've been together for so long. However, for all but the past two years of their relationship, he has been working free-lance as an IT specialist. Income was spotty at best and he also felt duty-bound to support his mother. He lives with my sister but also maintains his other home just 2 blocks away. My sister, on the other hand, is immensely successful in her chosen field and the majority of the financial burden has fallen on her shoulders. That situation would be tough for a large number of men to reconcile with, but for Oriental men, it is even harder to deal with. It's a cultural thing that is hard to truly understand unless you live it. I would venture to guess that Jon feels under appreciated and not really needed and he has to be needed. He cannot escape from that. I would also venture to guess that when Jon and Kate started their program, they never dreamt that it would become so popular and life would never again be the same. That is fine for the very outgoing and outspoken Kate. For the taciturn and proud Jon, not so much. He's torn between making his wife happy and seeing his children have adventures that normally would not be possible if he were the sole provider and wanting to be invisible yet necessary. It is a hard situation to resolve. My sister and her BF are still working on their relationship all of the time. She is gentle, but direct. BF comes at everything sideways when you can actually get him to talk about how he feels. Kate is direct and Jon also comes at everything sideways and only after being pushed too far. It's a conundrum for all involved. Annie, I noticed the All State commercial. Charlie and I cracked up over that. We noticed the repeating of the same Aaden clip, too. Then they'd show him with the paint smeared, then back to the little dollop. I was laughing so hard.
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Florin
Member
08-27-2006
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 7:33 pm
If your DVR is cutting off the last couple of minutes of the program you can set the end time by 2 minutes later. I was able to do that with mine.
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Chy
Member
07-19-2003
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 8:42 pm
Tess, you really got the picture! With Jon & Kate though, I might have to say Kate dropped the ball some where. I'm probably thinking with my Chinese mind too much here, but there should have been lots of ways to "show" Jon how he is indeed providing the family. By being part of the show, he is partially responsible for that fat check from TLC. By working at home, not only is he getting whatever income available, he is staying in touch with the field, preparing himself for the days they won't be invited back by TLC. The fact that he is the "errand runner" and the stay-home parent when Kate goes on speaking engagements, is the only reason Kate could have that "Career". With these absolute facts, Kate could play up even more about how none of these could be done without Jon doing his part. Just saying it over and over again might build him up a lot and keep him away from the empty or useless feelings. About the decision on the next season, Kate should have a "sit-down" with Jon. She could invite sensible F/F to help or some one Jon respects and trusts. She could tell Jon in so many different ways why Jon is now actually doing a great big part in providing. Explain to him why it is nessaccery to keep on doing the show right now.(I agree w/Maremeko, some day there will be no more tv show! In a foreseeable future, in fact!) If Jon still can't bite the bullet and live with this situation, then they need to decide on what they will have to do without and move on. I don't think their house and Bus/SUVs are all paid up yet. I think those might affect Jon's thinking. Perhaps they have been through all these discussions by now, but Jon rather whine about it, just like one or some of his children! Tess, I do think Kate doesn't understand how she needs to modify the way she talks to Jon. Even if Jon used to claim not to be bothered by the way she talks to him, she really should examine herself more these days. I imagine she really won't have the time to check on blogs & boards of other' opinions on how bad she sounds like. But she must have some dear family/friends to tell her stuff like that! She could try to go for the engagements that are closer to home, nothing more than a 48 hr. trip. She could ask Jon to do some of the speeches, I remember Jon used to handle it pretty well. ~~ Although I strongly believe that, the ski trip which was cited as part of the "signs of trouble" was possibly a promotional gig, of which only Jon and Cara could have done! I hope I make sense, it's getting real late here on the East coast.
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Tess
Member
04-13-2001
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 11:14 pm
You make perfect sense to me, Chy, which is why I brought up the difference between my sister and Kate. My sister, even when very frustrated, is very gentle while being brutally honest. She also was very hesitant when beginning her relationship because she has had many Asian male co-workers and friends and she was aware of their mind-set. My sister is very driven and career oriented. BF pursued her and it took quite a bit of convincing to win her over. Even today, there are adjustments that they both need to make and that is another thing that possibly separates them from Jon and Kate. My sister is willing to bend and she can make anyone feel like life couldn't go on without them. On the other hand, clearly Jon and Kate have discussed doing another season and we know from Yankee that it is supposed to begin on May 25th. You think that Mady is a chip off Daddy's block? I think that Jon was so young to be faced with 8 children and he still needs to be able to have some fun. He has been Americanized enough (and he's only 1/2 Asian) that he might not feel the same pressures as someone like Victor from TAR who has 2 Asian parents and a much younger sister. It would be very nice if there were some more things that Jon could do on his own or with just one or two of the children sometimes.
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Tess
Member
04-13-2001
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 11:18 pm
Florin, thank you for the suggestion. We are very new to the DVR world and have been quite frustrated. We're taping so many shows at once that it gets tricky but are starting to figure out where we can just add a couple of minutes or tape the following show. Tonight I missed the part of Dancing with the Stars where they announce who goes home! And here I had been irritated because when I looked up Cloris Leachman on IMDB for my DH, they had a headline story telling me who was eliminated and we hadn't gotten that far in watching the show yet. It turns out that it was a good thing after all.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 4:00 am
we don't know that Kate isn't validating Jon's contribution because all that she said publicly on the show was she is enjoying herself. Jon hasn't voiced anything truly different from other reality stars or new celebrities; that it's a catch 22..you like the perks but the invasion of privacy is hard.
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 6:33 am
As soon as I saw that last clip on the chair I knew people would have issues that Kate was saying she is enjoying herself. For each time she stated she was enjoying herself, Jon said he wasn't. Both at the end said they needed to discuss/hash out what was to come. I saw it as an equal statement of feelings, just that Kate has a more abrasive way than Jon.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 9:33 am
I felt bad for their situation. John was such a sad puppy dog. I'm hoping that by now they have passed through that bad time and have a handle on how to make their marriage stronger.
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 10:57 am
I don't think Jon's heritage makes a difference as to why he's unhappy. He's not unhappy because he isn't the sole bread winner or master of his home, that's not Jon. He's unhappy because he's living in a fish bowl. Stereotypes aren't always accurate to every individual. From what we see and from what Jon says I think he's burnt out from the show. Then he has the added burden of having an insensitive wife. The guy wants a break from the cameras and notoriety. He wants to be able to have a drink at the bar without pictures and innuendo. Let's not add living up to Asian stereotypes to his list of burdens.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 11:04 am
I'm with Lilfair. I think he didn't like his name in the tabloids when it was (well, who knows what it really was) just a pic with a fan. He can't have the big house, trips, and college education $ in the bank without a trade-off. Kate gets it, but Jon doesn't. I felt just as bad for her in the interview. They both seemed sad, but she seems to understand how their bread gets buttered and is willing to put up with that at least for now.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 11:10 am
ITA, that is why I was thinking that if he could work someplace else for his other job at least then he could separate the show and work and have some privacy. Of course, the show would probably want to follow him to work, LOL.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 12:28 pm
In my humble opinion married men with family responsibilities do not belong in bars having a drink.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 1:01 pm
Ditto Lilfair! ITA Hukd! Spoton Dipo!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 2:28 pm
gosh, my husband goes to sports bars with his guy friends lots of times. he's even gone by himself too.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 2:37 pm
Same here (well not my husband but me .... oh you know what I mean). Seriously, it all depends on the situation. It doesn't make him any less of a Dad.
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Scooterrific
Member
07-08-2005
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 2:47 pm
LMAO Jimmer!!! My hubby goes out to bars, when we can afford it, he is still an awesome dad, and has his moments as a husband! 
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 2:56 pm
I have a bar in my house, so we don't have to out to one. LOL
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Lilfair
Member
07-09-2003
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 6:42 pm
Maybe if more parents took time out for themselves(like going to have drinks with friends at the bar) then maybe they'd have better mental health. I know my most stressful times were when I was a stay at home mon and aching for adult interaction...and I only had 2 kids with a 5 years age difference. I think Jon needs his privacy and get time with friends away from the kids, but that won't happen.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 7:11 pm
I agree. A night a week out bowling with the guys, just relaxing, no cameras, no kids, no harping wife would probably do him a world of good.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 7:31 pm
tmz has photo/ 20 second video of Jon and Kate on a date - at Mr Chows in Bev Hills... no big deal - move on!! (lol at Jimmer!)
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, March 26, 2009 - 4:06 am
If I didn't have mom's night out when my kids were little, I would have lost my mind! (funny, how people don't tend to think that is as bad). Also going out on dates with your spouse is essential.
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Kellsma
Member
08-28-2002
| Thursday, March 26, 2009 - 5:44 am
I just wonder what they were doing at Mr Chow's in Beverly HIlls????? Where are the kids??? I just watched Table for 12, what a much more grounded couple. I love them. The kids don't have to be dressed in matching outfits. They just seem more realistic but a very fun couple.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, March 26, 2009 - 6:23 am
Probably with a babysitter. They have never given any indication of leaving their children at home alone unattended. Kate has addressed the matching clothes issues several times. It eliminates fighting over who wears what.
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