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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:15 pm
Emailing Jon that he can only spend 2 hours with his kids on their birthday is definitely a move to cause more trouble. She knew how he would react and she sent the email anyway. She sounds like the trouble-maker to me.
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Mamabatsy
Member
08-05-2005
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:28 pm
If it's her time to have the kids and house, he has no more right there than she had when she tried to replace the inappropriate babysitter. It was her thinking of the twins that will give him even two hours with them. Perhaps he should have thought about things like this before he started acting like the "man" that he is.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:29 pm
Wow how callus that she'd try to limit his time with his children on their birthday. What an impulsive, irresponsible edict! Mrs Gosselin really knows how to fan flames. It's no wonder she's estranged from the rest of her family.
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Ahnicka
Member
08-08-2007
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:30 pm
You're right, Kate by now should know exactly how Jon is going to react. She should know that he'll want to do the opposite of whatever she wants and will publicize their private affairs. She should have called it that he'd either tell or show that email. I know it's stressful, painful, and emotional for her but I really wish she'd go back to reining in her emotions and stop commenting to the media, and responding to Jon. It's extremely difficult I know, when someone is attacking your character and you want to defend yourself or reveal how that person contributed to cause the reaction, but she would be far better off by just letting Jon make his comments if he chooses and do as he is going to do, and not be so impulsive herself.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:32 pm
The fighting over money is ugly enough, but fighting over time with the kids, telling him he only gets 2 hours on their birthday after they had already agreed to a joint party is just too ugly for words. If it's so uncomfortable for her, maybe she should take the 2 hours and let him have the rest of the day. Sickening on so many levels.
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:34 pm
He has every right to be there on his kid's birthday, same as she has. Surely you can't believe that just because a birthday falls on "kate's day" or "jon's day", the other should miss celebrating with the kids?
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:38 pm
Holly, the worst part is that it was an agreed upon joint custody day! Mrs Gosselin obviously has a hard time controlling her emotions, which is probably understandable when we consider that her estrangement from all her family members has left her on an emotional island, but....wow. This shows a complete lack of sense.
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:39 pm
<Perhaps he should have thought about things like this before he started acting like the "man" that he is.> The "man"? What is that supposed to mean? Are you suggesting now that he's a hermaphrodite or something??
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:43 pm
Well that makes it worse, Tish, if it was a previously agreed-on joint custody day (as all birthdays, holidays, etc. should be.) It must be absolutely killing Kate that she no longer holds the reigns or calls the shots on everything any more.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:51 pm
Wow how callus that she'd try to limit his time with his children on their birthday. What an impulsive, irresponsible edict! Mrs Gosselin really knows how to fan flames. It's no wonder she's estranged from the rest of her family. Wow for me, too. I completely agree with your statement, Tishala. The money missing may just be a complete lack of communication, but Kate is now taking advantage of this to 'limit' Jon's time with his children. How very interesting, because the last discussion on ET they had with him, someone asked if he would stay involved with the children or would Kate try to go for full custody. Jon said he was a 'hands on' Dad and intended to stay involved. His last words to the question of Kate getting custody: "That will Never Happen." I just stared @ the TV thinking...uh oh! Seems like Kate may have jumped to a hasty conclusion re Jon 'stealing' the money and because he's defended himself on TV, he's being punished. So wrong. The absolute worst part is that Jon was the one who has always played with these kids. Kate has cooked and cleaned, but Jon has bathed and played. No way should this woman be allowed to shorten his visitation. It's just wrong.
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Mamabatsy
Member
08-05-2005
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 12:55 pm
They also agreed that they would only use babysitters approved by both parents. IF little boy Jon wants to spend the day with his girls on their birthday, perhaps he should learn how to follow all the rules both ways, not just when they are in his favor. This is something they both need to honor. If they have made an agreement, they need to stick to it or lose something else they agreed on. Jon cannot just keep agreeing to rules and then following them only when he feels like it.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 1:03 pm
This is not a tit-for-tat. Just because Jon does something wrong or dumb, doesn't mean Kate gets to now. All the approved babysitters were busy. Kate volunteered herself. Jon said no, he had some bimbo to do the job. Kate calls cops to boo-hoo. Old news. This is now. This is Kate trying to regain power via the kids now. This is wrong. She's already made it clear she gets the kids on holidays and she's trying to do that right here and now. She's going to try to browbeat Jon into giving her more time with the kids. She's going to repeatedly pull stunts like this to make it difficult for him to see the kids in hopes that he gives up and goes away. Shame on her. If she can't handle the joint custody day, she needs to bow out, not try to force Jon out.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 1:10 pm
I think I've decided the reason she's so compulsive about organization, etc. is because she's so emotionally uncontrolled. The coupons, the cleaning, the organizers she had on the show this week...all of it is something she does because she can't keep her emotions in check and it leads, ultimately, to her estrangement from people who'd been in her life because she realizes she can't control them, either.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 1:22 pm
That's a very interesting theory Tishala. All of those things: clothes, cleaning, hair scrunchies, etc. are all things she can have total control over. She can still mostly do that with the kids because they are young. She used to be able to do it with Jon. It will be interesting to see, if the show survives, how she handles it when the kids try to break out on their own, start rebelling.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 1:32 pm
Well, having been divorced and sharing custody, I will tell you that there is NO mandatory requirement to *share* any days until it is in writing. It sounds like they have a temporary agreement, where they will move in and out every week, and that is ALL the time either parent is guaranteed. That she agreed to a joint birthday party with Jon was her right to allow, and then disallow if she thought it best. That's the law. She is not required to even let him spend two hours with them. Frankly, I think if you are getting divorced, you are giving up time and memories and special moments with your kids. YOU chose the divorce, the kids didn't, get used to not always getting your way. It always amazes me that somehow parents think THEY shouldn't miss out on anything when they get divorced. You will. For the final custody agreement, the judge or lawyers or arbitrators will make sure that holidays are *fairly* shared, but that doesn't often mean that you will get to see your children every holiday. Often it's an every other kind of thing. No judge expects divorced parents to spend days together with the children. It's nice when it happens, but it is never legally mandated. So... while I think it would be nice if they could make nice on special days (and I did it for ten long years for birthdays), neither of them are required to do so. It does make it easier for the kids if you can. But when there is still so much anger, that is NOT good for the children to be around at all.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 1:53 pm
It's mostly the kids who get hurt by this sort of thing though. 
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 1:58 pm
Jimmer, that is correct. That's why it, as my friend says, parents must try to rise to the level of sainthood if they really want to make it as easy as possible for the kids. You have to have that joint birthday party, and just pretend that everything is fine. Then go lock yourself in your room and scream and yell or cry or whatever you need to do. And sometimes you have to fight like mad with attornies to be sure things are fair, and sometimes you have to figure out which things are stupid to fight about and let them go. And when your ex does something incredibly mean or spiteful or whatever and your kids ask about it, you have to just say "well daddy (or mommy) is just doing what they think is right, and I understand that. I just think this is better, blah blah blah..." and never ever succumb to the temptation to say the other is evil or stupid or crazy or whatever. It's really really really hard. But if you really love your children, and I mean not just the feeling, but the willingness to put them first kind of love, then you do it. And in the end, you find out you're a better person for having done it that way.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:05 pm
As Judge Judy says, "you have to love your children more than you hate your ex."
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:08 pm
So that's where my mom went wrong. LOL. Sorry, bad joke!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:33 pm
"you have to love your children more than you hate your ex." That's a great quote!
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:35 pm
Yes! Really great! I love it! I wish they'd hand that out with divorce papers.
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Cinnamongirl
Member
01-10-2001
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:42 pm
FROM US magazine...Kate wrote Jon an email that says, "Due to recent events, it will be too stressful to the kids to have both of us here as planned. I would like to split the evening so they can see us both." Yeah, so whats the problem here? Sure, it'd be nice for them to do it all together but being how strained things are...what is wrong with sharing?? I rememeber back when this whole divorce started, one thing she was very upset about was not being able to see the kids every holiday....so many on this board jumped on her about it.. Personally, I think shes doing well with offering split time..
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Countrydaze
Member
11-07-2003
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:46 pm
Very well said Karuuna!!!!!
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Keldogg
Member
08-12-2005
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 2:53 pm
I'm going to guess that any agreement to share the birthdays with the kids was made before the events of the last couple of weeks. As a child of divorce, I can tell you that having a "party" with 2 parents who are this angry with each other will not make for a Happy Birthday. It would be much smarter to celebrate separately until some of the anger subsides.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 - 3:30 pm
How bizarre is it to tell a magazine about how you'll be doing your own kid's birthday???
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