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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:08 pm
Honestly, I have to wonder if part of this agreement didn't center around money. did we hear anything on how the assets will be divided? The money? also, if Jon will be paying child support? I can see the lawyers saying "Here Jon, we'll give you this much $$$$$ but Kate gets custody and you get visitation." And I can see him taking it.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:13 pm
Cricket, if he wanted shared legal custody, he could have fought for it. There was no requirement for him to agree to the arbitration, it's not the same as a court ruling. Had he contested it, that's what we would have heard. Ohhh, I didn't realize that. All I can find re their custody/divorce arrangements is the info from Saturday's mediation. I thought all divorces these days were made to go through mediation and resolved that way. I just thought it was because of the huge amount of traffic in the courts. Attorney Calls Gosselin Mediation A Success snip: The couple met for more than six hours Saturday at a law office in the Philadelphia suburbs to discuss unresolved issues, including custody of their eight children and the distribution of marital property. Heller said a second day of arbitration planned for Monday is no longer needed. He said an arbitrator will rule by Christmas and that the divorce could be finalized by the close of 2009. Doesn't this mean they have to wait until Dec. to finalize the custody? What if the mediator rules Jon does still have legal custody? When I met my husband, he owed a supposedly very good attorney (has appeared on TV) $25,000 just trying to see his daughter. He had visitation, but his wife tried many tricks and she withheld visitation. We saw her a bit and then the wife moved w/o telling us her new addy or info. There's only so much one can do and so much money you can afford. We ended up firing the lawyers and paid child support through the DA. Prior to that, his ex-wife took him to court 8 times in 3 years, with him paying her attorney. Enough is enough. Jon does have the requirment of public opinion. I can just imagine the uproar if Jon denied arbitration. Look how he was ridiculed when he said he wanted to go to counseling, but Kate would have none of it. I don't feel Jon would have won in court any more than a mediator. TLC and Kate have a vested interest in being able to film those children. Having said that, he may still have legal custody. Even w/o joint custody, doesn't the father have legal rights of a parent?
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:15 pm
Brenda, I think they said there would be a decision on the financial part of it within a month.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:18 pm
Nobody seriously thinks TLC had ANYTHING to do with the divorce negotiations? No judge would allow that or even tolerate a hint of coersion of that type. How is TLC supposedly exerting this pressure? Late night phone calls and heavy breathing? LOL Jon and Kate each have their own lawyers, neither of which was hired by or represents TLC. My understanding is that there were items that were agreed on before the meeting even began and items that the arbitrator will have to decide on over the next month. Kate's lawyer walked in requesting full custody and Jon's lawyer walked in with no intention to request or pursue it. If he had asked for it then the arbitrator would have decided on that issue as well. All issues up for debate had to do with division of property (or so the leaks say anyway). I agree with Cricket that it doesn't necessarily reflect on Jon's ranking as a father although I would be happier with him if he bought a small house close to his kids (and he still might now that the family home is going to Kate). He can't expect to stay with Kate part-time for the next 15 yrs and he can't drag the kids to NY every weekend or spend 8 hrs sitting in a McDonald's with them. My opinion of Jon's custody would only reflect badly on him if he has the nerve to turn around an play victim about it but I don't think he will. I think (hope) that he climbing out of the hole he's dug for himself these last months.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:20 pm
Sabbatia stated: The articles and the lawyer said Kate has primary custody. That doesn't mean the visitation isn't liberal. We have no information on that part of it. It also doesn't state that Jon does not have 'legal' custody. I haven't been able to find much at all as to what the exact outcome of the arbitration was, so that's why I'm confused about Jon supposedly losing or giving up legal custody. Where was that stated?
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:24 pm
Yeah, the first time we hear him say "Kate took my kids away", I'm going to need to slap him. Agreed that he needs a small property near the kids, someplace they can go to and be with him. the house sharing thing just seems to be full of problems. I don't think he'll feel welcome or relaxed there and I really can't imagine Kate wanting him there other than that it allows the nannies to spy.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:29 pm
Cricket, that is true, it is possible, just sounded like he walked away without a fight on anything but the money....
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:32 pm
My sister's ex has 50/50 with his daughter and her mother (not my sis) it's every other week, they both live in the same town, and they switch off holidays.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:41 pm
I didn't interpret it that way at all, Karuuna. As Rissa stated, Kate walked in requesting full custody. Why isn't anyone upset with Kate for renegging on what she stated at the beginning of the divorce rather than be upset with Jon because he isn't getting what he wants. I don't see it as Jon walking away; I see it as Kate getting what she wants. If what Jon's lawyer says is true, Jon made his decision based on what was best for his children. I'm curious to see what the outcome will be in December.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:46 pm
Nobody gets what they want when they take their custody arrangement into the court system. If they can't agree ultimately it is whatever the judge orders.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 2:59 pm
Just to be clear though, I have no idea obviously whether the request was for full physical custody, legal custody, etc. I fully expect it to be physical custody with Jon getting visitation and both parents having equal legal custody and authority over all medical/education etc decisions but I really am assuming like everyone else.
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Mamabatsy
Member
08-05-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 3:15 pm
From what I read, and I can't find the article now, they entered the arbitration Saturday agreeing about custody and the day was spent setting value to everything they own. The mediator's task now is to decide how to divide the assets and that decision will be given by the end of the year. If Kate gets to keep the house, Jon might get most of the money. Everything is thrown into the pot and gets divided equitably, not necessarily equally.
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 3:16 pm
Why isn't anyone upset with Kate for renegging on what she stated at the beginning of the divorce rather than be upset with Jon because he isn't getting what he wants. I don't see it as Jon walking away; I see it as Kate getting what she wants. I don't see it as renegging. I see it as the situation changing. If you've ever gotten a divorce, you know that things don't ever go the way you originally thought they would. It's an ever changing sea of things you should have thought of...things you thought of that aren't relevant....sprinkle in a few emotions and you have things not working the way they originally thought they would.
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 3:19 pm
Look how he was ridiculed when he said he wanted to go to counseling, but Kate would have none of it. Kate never said that, Jon said it. Therefore I don't believe it. Jon had every opportunity to buy a small house near the kids but instead he wanted to be near his girlfriend and got a 1 bedroom apt in NYC. Oh yeah, he was really thinking about his kids then.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 3:19 pm
Yeah, my divorce went that way also. I started out being very agreeable, but then my ex wanted HALF my INCOME for the rest of his life!! Obviously, my feelings changed quite a bit at his ridiculous behavior and demands. So yes, situations do change, and you do change your mind, often for reasonable cause. The simple fact is that Jon moved away and declined shared custody. You can't change those facts and make them rosey. They are what they are.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 3:37 pm
LOL Karuuna, your post reminded me of something Dr Phil says and I can't believe I am going to quote him. {sigh} 'No-one divorces the same person they married.'
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 3:40 pm
Boy ain't that the truth Rissa!!!
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Ahnicka
Member
08-08-2007
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 4:47 pm
From TMZ: Jon & Kate Emergency! Jon and Kate Gosselin may have a new player in the divorce. We've learned the lawyer who repped Jon Gosselin at the beginning of his divorce has just filed an emergency petition to intervene in the case .. and it's all over money. Attorney Charles Meyer withdrew from the case in September, just before Mark Heller took over. Prior to his withdrawal, we're told there was an agreement with Jon that his lawyer's fees would be paid from Jon's share of the property distribution. We're told Jon owes Charles around $43,000 so Charles is asking the judge to make sure he gets paid before Jon gets his cut. As we first reported, the divorce is coming in for a landing, and the arbitrator will decide within 30 days who gets what. Story developing
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Mamabatsy
Member
08-05-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 5:02 pm
That's pretty standard. Part of my settlement was that my ex was to pay all legal fees. When we sold our house, my lawyer petitioned the escrow company and was paid from his half of the money from the sale.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 6:45 pm
I have a friend whose son split up with his wife early this year. He rented a place close to their son's school and they have him 50-50 during the week and each get alternate weekends. He wanted to be very involved in teacher conferences and homework and such. They work it so that the mornings he takes his son to school, his soon to be ex-wife is able to van pool earlier to her job and on the days she takes him to school she drives in to her job. So far they've been able to handle vacations and holidays pretty well.. and he's willing to not have his son for most major holidays since his ex will take the son to her family gatherings. Or times like Halloween when the neighborhood around the house is far better for trick or treating than around the apartment. So far they are being pretty reasonable and the son has stuff at each place, including clothing, though they sometimes have to shift stuff since one will dress him and then he is off with the other parent. Bottom line so far the child has two very involved parents who really want him with them, not just for fun stuff.. they both do fun stuff with him, but also for day to day stuff as well. So I guess it can work, but it takes an effort to make it work well. Jon being out of state means he simply isn't there for the day to day as much and when he does come in, like he did on the first day of school, then he made much of the effort HE made, coming back from California, but that was more about him asking for brownie points when he just should be or want to be nearby.
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Kittyab
Member
07-15-2005
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 7:24 pm
Jon had every opportunity to buy a small house near the kids but instead he wanted to be near his girlfriend and got a 1 bedroom apt in NYC. Oh yeah, he was really thinking about his kids then. I totally agree. He didnt get a place he could take his kids too. He got himself a bachler pad. Moving to NY, he was not thinking of his kids, he was thinking of himself. Kate maybe OCD but at least she is there for her kids every day.
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Angelicfairies2
Member
07-19-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 7:27 pm
Per the episode tonight (Is it a new one) I was flipping through and saw them selling Lemonade. Anyway Kate said she wasn't sure what Jon's motives were if they were for publicity etc..(rightfully so) however she's a hypocrite because she does stuff for publicity too..anyway she said she doesn't think Jon should leave the house with the kids, that they should just stay home and "hang out" IS SHE KIDDING ME??? The woman who is constantly saying how they need to experience things and she's against them going to the fire house etc?? <shakes head> Side note: Those kids are so freaking cute, It's crazy how NONE of them look like Kate LOL.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 7:34 pm
Talk about a hypocrite. Jon shuts the show down because being on camera is unhealthy for the kids then he sticks them at the side of the road for hours so dozens of paparrazi can blind them with flashes.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 7:35 pm
anyway she said she doesn't think Jon should leave the house with the kids, that they should just stay home and "hang out" IS SHE KIDDING ME??? It's called CONTROL, Angelic. She's still trying to control Jon. Inotherwords, he can just come and babysit them. I hope he takes them to his parents house and introduces them to the rest of their family.
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Angelicfairies2
Member
07-19-2004
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - 7:40 pm
Why is that being hypocritical Rissa? He was raising money with the kids for the fire house. Quite noble if you ask me.
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