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Danzdol
Member
04-21-2001
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 9:17 am
I thought last night was supposed to be the cocktail table smashing episode..oh well...I keep expecting to not like Ryan but I keep finding myself liking him....he also reminds me of a college ex. (mine in a good way ) so many that's why? lol
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Biginjapan
Member
07-23-2005
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 4:02 pm
I love Ryan. I do not like his girlfriend michele just from their phone conversations. It sure seems like chet is gay and he does not know it.
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Beckie03
Member
07-05-2007
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 5:17 pm
It sure seems like chet is gay and he does not know it. imo, i think he knows that he is but because of his strong background with his religion i do not think he will be accepted. that is a sad life, imho.
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 5:34 pm
Beckie, I seriously think there are a lot of gay people out there whom have religion so ingrained in them, they deny even to themselves that they're gay. The consequences of what would happen if he came out might be so severe that he would not even question the possibility himself. I can give you an example of my aunt: she has lived with her partner (in her words, "roomate") for nearly 15 years. My aunt helped raise her partner's three kids. They belong to a pretty strict Christian-reformed church, and my aunt sings and plays in the church band, and her partner is a deacon. My grandmother is very religious, and I remember asking her when I was 7 years old (my gaydar was formed at an early age) if my aunt was gay. I innocently asked because I did not know she would think it was wrong (since both my parents raised me from the start to think otherwise). She looked shocked and said, "Nooo!" If my aunt came out, she would possibly lose an entire congregation of friends. Her mother would be horrified (I mean it's so obvious, but those that choose to deny, can really be blind). Her partner would lose her deacon status; likely they would both be evicted from the church (do anyone besides Catholics get exocommunicated?). Their lives would be devastated. They keep separate rooms, and my aunt goes back and forth in references about homosexuality. For example, one time she and her partner had a fight, and my aunt said, It's okay, it's not like _______ and I broke up, we'll get over it. Then on the other hand, one day she was telling me that she was disgusted with another branch of her church who allowed gay people to be deacons (and yeah, her partner is a deacon). Some of the most homophobic people I've known turned out to be gay. Anyway, back to Chet, I really think he can't even question the possibility himself. His mind likely shuts like a steel trap against the thought, because he might feel (and have been taught)that being gay means being a total outcast in his community. In cases like his, I actually believe it takes other people to convince the person s/he's gay.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 5:38 pm
I think it's totally irrelevant whether Chet is gay or not. He's still a virgin, too. I'm not liking Ryan at all. He seems to have some bullying tendencies. And his tendency to gossip (along with Chet's) is a real turn-off. I find it interesting that Scott is hiding his relationship with his girlfriend. Seems like playa to me. I like JD. I think he's got a pretty solid head on his shoulders. Most of the girls seem fine, too, except for the one with the babe-o-meter or whatever it was. Seems a wee bit like junior high school... if you can't figure out where you are with a guy, then ask him. Katelynn's really hurting and it's upsetting to watch her thrash out. I wish her BF would contact her. Even if just to say it's over. Or better yet, I wish she was strong enuf to leave a Dear John VM message for him! (Unfortunately, some transgendered people have low self-esteem in their "soon after transition" years and it's really hard to overcome.)
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Beckie03
Member
07-05-2007
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 5:47 pm
ita, jodie completely. i feel for people who cannot be themselves because of their religion. and maybe chet isn't one of those people...but i believe he is. i also had a friend in a similar position as your aunt. however, he came out - he no longer talks to his mother at all. it is very sad, and while he is sad that his mother does not talk to him, he is happy that he is at peace with himself.
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Friday, January 23, 2009 - 6:30 pm
Costa, I don't think being a virgin or not has any relevance to your sexuality/sexual preferences. I agree on poor Katelynne. I wish she would just dump her boyfriend and embark on her new life. Like Sarah said, she really has no ties and her future is in front of her. Beckie, I know what you mean. I've tried to make it clear to my aunt that it's "okay with me" in subtle ways, and that's why I think she's made slips here and there to me. I honestly believe that she settled for a sex-less partnership (roomate), and the only way she could live in both worlds was to be able to live with her partner, but act like close roomates. Women can carry this off more easily than men, too, as women are more naturally affectionate with eachother. But my aunt still pays for it in other ways. In Canada, you're free to have a same-sex marriage, and have rights, but of course she wouldn't marry a woman. It broke my heart when my cousin (her partner's daughter, whom I also consider to be my aunt's daughter), went into early labour with her first child and her life was in danger. My aunt wasn't allowed to be anywhere near my cousin because it was immediate family only. She was frantic. Teachers of the three kids have also refused to speak to her, since she's not a "parent". I feel so bad for her...yet she's responsible for it. It would be no different than a woman and children with a male "roomate".
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Monday, January 26, 2009 - 8:33 am
If it is a person's choice to choose to live by the constraints (as you see them) of their religion who are we to argue or judge? Everybody makes choices in life...although some don't seem clear to us it isn't our place to judge.
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Biginjapan
Member
07-23-2005
| Thursday, January 29, 2009 - 2:40 pm
That deal with Sarah and her dad was creepy and confusing. It seemed strange seeing Chet on a date with a woman. 
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Thursday, January 29, 2009 - 3:43 pm
JD dropped a few pegs after he outed Katelynne. But Chet gained a few when he didn't make a big deal out of it. I want to know how these underage people are hanging out in bars. And watching Devon last night I realized something... I think people are physically maturing at an early age these days, but I think their emotional maturity is sorely lacking.
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Angelicfairies2
Member
07-19-2004
| Friday, January 30, 2009 - 12:32 pm
Shall we all bet that MTV gave the father the #?
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Friday, January 30, 2009 - 4:25 pm
I'll bet you're right, Angel! I feel really sorry for Sarah, and can totally relate to her anger over the "selective memory" her father has. My mother has done terrible things to me, and also did not protect me from her boyfriends - even after I finally told her about one, she told me it was my fault and continued to date him until she met her current husband. When I try to talk to her about it as an adult, she hotly denies it, and then admits to a tiny part of it. It would really heal me if she acknowledged all that happened, every part of it, and said she was sorry. The lying, or worse, saying I'm lying, hurts as much as the actual abuse. Roxi, about the religion thing - I feel bad for closeted people because I think their sexual orientation is such a large part of a person's identity. To deny it so they can be accepted by God and their peers is very sad to me. Especially within a religion that literally tells them gay people will go to hell.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Friday, January 30, 2009 - 5:07 pm
Jodie, I'd say, regarding your aunt.. just let her know that you have no judgement and accept her however she may be, but just perhaps she is wisely not sharing with anyone because onece that is shared, then someone can slip and it should be totally your aunt's call if she wants to be out and who she wants to be out to. You see nothing wrong, you thing it wouls be better if she could be out, so it might not seem like such a secret to keep.. I mean you have no way of knowing who is reading this board that might be able to identify you, and thus, your aunt, right? And yes, it wasn't up to JD to out Katelynn and no matter that Chet didn't "react".. he's already shown insensitivity to the very idea so it should still have been up to Katelynn when she would tell him (when because being on a TV show, of course it would be out soon enough).
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Friday, January 30, 2009 - 5:40 pm
Seamonkey, I totally get where you're coming from, I really do - but the thing is, I don't know any of my aunt's acquaintances - any friends, or anyone part of her congregation. And as for my family it's almost comical, as everyone with the exception of my 91 year-old grandmother know the truth (and I have strong suspicions that she's living under the "don't ask, don't tell" rule). It's a common subject amongst us all if she'll ever come out. I worry about it because of all the slips she makes to me, and then goes overboard into homophobia as if to make sure we know where she "stands" on homosexuality. And actually, I don't think it would be better if she were "out" to everyone. My only worry is that she can't be "out" to herself, thus denying a large part of herself, when she also believes that gay people are headed for hell. She is very religious, and I worry about her relationship with God. It's what she was brought up to believe in, and so I wonder if denying herself and others the natural part of her is enough. Does she lose sleep wondering if she's headed for damnation? She's just the most wonderful, loving and generous person. I just feel like she doesn't deserve to live with these fears, and I have a strong feeling she does. In her mind, coming out would not only mean losing a congregation of friends (her family would be intact, we all know it anyway, but I don't know if she's clear on that), but it would also mean being rejected by God. That's why I worry so much for her. I am not concerned about anyone finding out from my own postings; my family, including all my cousins who regularly roam the internet, would just bluntly ask me if I'd written these posts. They'd have no disagreement with me; in fact, we all belong to the pro-gay rights groups (etc.) on facebook, which my aunt is also a member of. As for my aunt's religious acquaintances - I don't know any of them...I left home when I was 15 and never was close enough to know any of the people my aunt and grandmother associated with. So I'm not worried. I would not risk my aunt being "outed" by me if I really believed it was possible. I agree too, that JD should have kept his mouth shut. It bothers me that he seems to be such a caring, sensitive guy, but once he drinks it seems to go out the window. I think he needs to watch his intake, because it's like Jekyll and Hyde.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Friday, January 30, 2009 - 6:36 pm
Yeah, when there is someone I like/enjoy very much and then it turns out they flip like that when drinking, I almost feel like that person has been taken away from me by the addiction.
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Eaglebrat
Member
07-14-2006
| Friday, January 30, 2009 - 8:59 pm
Ummm...didn't Chet already know about Katelynn from that night JD was talking with Ryan and Chet on the stairs? I think it was like the first show, maybe. So in all actuality he outed her while he was sober, right before he takes her to dinner to get her to out herself and so he can out himself. He had no excuses for either time.
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Malaka
Member
07-05-2007
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 2:45 am
Anyone watching "The Bad Girls Club?" Joey from last seasons Real World was discovered at a club by the Bad Girls. One of them took him home.
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Malaka
Member
07-05-2007
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 2:51 am
According to Sarah, her father's offense was to take her on a camping trip bringing only one sleeping bag. Sarah said that as soon as she found out about the one bag, she bailed out. Seems to me that she her response has been very non-linear.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 7:23 am
Shall we all bet that MTV gave the father the #? Exactically, Angelic. Shame on them for exploiting this for ratings. It's so fake. They show Sarah have a convo with her father again in the previews for next week. What happened to screening her calls per her Mom? Malaka, re Joey, I caught that. Does that mean he's broken up with his girlfriend and living in Los Angeles, or was this show taped the same time as RW when he was on it? Seems like the Bad Girls is newer, but what is Joey doing living in Los Angeles where he got in so much trouble with partying?
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 10:26 am
Malaka, I think things happened before the camping trip, and that's why she had such a strong reaction to seeing the one sleeping bag. When she was speaking to him on the phone, she asked him a few times, "So my memories aren't real?" I really believe things happened to her before the camping trip incident, and maybe at the time she was young enough to be persuaded that her father had done nothing wrong, wouldn't do it again, etc. Then the sight of the one sleeping bag freaked her out.
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Malaka
Member
07-05-2007
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 9:43 pm
I am surprised that she would have gone on that camping trip if there had been a previous history abuse. In any case the whole issue of real or imagined parental child abuse freaks me out. I have some vivid memories that I am not sure a real memories...
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 10:10 pm
Malaka, I'm not surprised at all. Kids feel such a strong sense of shame over their parent's physical or sexual abuse, and it's so easy for them to believe it's their fault...especially if the parent was telling them that, or at the very least leading their kids to believe it was something they deserved. In my own case I believed my mother (at the age of nine), that everything (the abuse by her boyfriend) was my fault. It took me years to get a grip and realise in fact it wasn't, and I was innocent. I would have done anything at the time to prove to my mother that I wasn't a bad girl, including facing her boyfriend alone. It sucks, but kids really do feel responsible for the things that happened to them...even when all the adults are telling them it's not! I understand you feeling freaked out if it stirs up some bad memories, Malaka. Whatever they are, you were the innocent party. I hope you have some good RL friends around if you need to vent about this...internet support is great (and I admit I pretty much solely rely on it, since I have health issues and am pretty much a loner), but having people around whom you trust would definitely help.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Sunday, February 01, 2009 - 8:54 am
IIRC it was not a parent who abused but someone else. But because of that, she was extra sensitive to anything that might seem as if it was heading that direction. If her father knew about the abuse, then he was not being very smart bringing only a single sleeping bag.
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Sabbatia
Member
08-15-2005
| Tuesday, February 03, 2009 - 11:31 am
Costa, thats EXACTLY the way I see things with Sarah. BUT, I add to it Mom that can't stand Dad and is determined to make more out of it than it is. I've seen too many females get angry with their ex and start grasping at straws to make them look bad. The whole...don't be a victim...I am not a victim....conversation freaked me out. She sounded like a robot. As for people being out of the closet, my cousin died of AIDS, and the family wasn't told. Everyone knew he was gay. Nobody had to tell us. Anyway, it's sad to find out a cousin died a month after the funeral. As far as I'm concerned, if you aren't sleeping with me, I don't care what you do in the bedroom.
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Jodie75
Member
08-26-2004
| Tuesday, February 03, 2009 - 11:44 am
Right on, Sabbatia, I totally agree. I didn't catch that Sarah was abused by someone else. I thought it was by her father. And I agree that one parent quite often inappropriately pits their child against the other parent. My mother did that, and it only made her look bad. She had the audacity to say nasty things about my father when she didn't want any more visitation with me and my brother than 6 days a month. I also later found out plenty of terrible things my mom did, like my brother (who is older by six years) told me she'd bring home men when he was 4 while my dad was at work. But my father never told me all this stuff and never bad-mouthed her. My mother has an extremely selective memory, and she also lives in this ludicrous land where nobody under the age of 12 remembers things that happened in their childhood. She is fond of spinning fairytale stories about wonderful times she had with us to other people.
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